Just one step at a time. each task is just another adventure. But that that in your own time. We will be here for you ❤ maybe you could do an earwax video to make light of the situation haha idk. Maybe make a video of you going on an adventure outside. No one will mind that too much and if they do it wont be the end of the world, and if its to much, just know that thats okay. Thats just you aclimating to getting this far in your journey and your past self would be proud. We are proud of you brother ❤
Sorry for the wall of text. I don't know you and I don't presume to know your medical or mental situation, and I've only watched a little bit of a few of your recent videos just now, but I went through extreme depression since I was a child, and bad anxiety to where I never spoke in school except to my very close friends. Around 19 years old it reached a peak to where every morning I woke up, already mid-thought in thinking of suicide. It's all I thought about. I can't say what worked for me will work for anyone else, but my path to feeling happy again was this: During a particularly bad suicidal moment at 19 I wondered "Why does it matter if I die?" I'm going to die anyways. I might as well stick around to see new tech, games, maybe a cool movie, whatever. It sounds unusual but it was almost a feeling a relief. Next, I decided since I was going to stick around, and I hate medicine, I decided to try Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). I read about it for a day or two and got the gist of it, made it my own. Being anxious and depressed.... it already means you're extremely self-aware, CBT takes advantage of that. Use your strengths! When we become attached to these negative thoughts, and they start going in circles over and over and over, they make ruts. Deep grooves. Which also cause neurons in our brain to fire when they don't need to, and causing repeated thoughts that form into mental habits over months... years... Well, it's like losing weight, it takes time to put it on and it's going to take a while to lose. It starts with being diligent in catching your negative thoughts. it's hard at first and gets easier, it takes a while. Months at least. Do not accept your bad thoughts as you "Seeing reality for what it is" That's a LIE. Our brain is very good at lying to us. You'll need to become good at noticing when you're JUSTIFYING things. Your mind will tell you anything to make you feel like you can't do it, or it's not working, or whatever. Nope -- you have to take the wheel and tell that part of the mind to STFU. Now this is BY FAR the most important part: Treat yourself like a friend. I ALWAYS would fail and go right back to feeling like a piece of trash, because 100% of the time I would eventually forget to be mindful, and I'd catch myself thinking negative stuff for long periods of time. Then I'd notice, think "oh my god, I can't even do this right. I'm such a failure!" and go right back into a negative spiral. You ARE going to mess up. It's fine. Sometimes you'll forget about CBT for days or weeks at a time and feel like you lost all your progress... Treat yourself like a friend! Would you be mad at him for forgetting or will you be understanding and say "You're trying. Let's do it again and next time you'll forget only a few days!" I noticed in your videos you're prone to negative self-talk. I was too. It's part of the symptoms. But it's very obvious you're not stupid and I promise you're much more capable than you think. The negative thoughts are an illusion -- it isn't you being a realist. It will take a long time but if you stick to this, and no matter how bad you mess up treat yourself as a friend, you will eventually replace the negative thoughts with positive ones. The anxiety and stuff, for me, was by far the easier but MUCH scarier part -- I had to force myself to do exposure therapy. I took a job as a cashier just to force myself to small talk a lot of people every day. After 3 months I realized part of the anxiety i had my ENTIRE life, from childhood to almost 30, was something I didn't have to live with. Once some progress starts happening, that lifts some anxiety and it kind of snowballs. It takes time. But until I added the final ingredient of being extremely diligent to be kind to myself, gentle, and speak to myself as a friend... until I did that, I could never fix myself no matter what I did. Wish you the best of luck in finding whatever solution works for you! ***OH another thing, I did get into stoicism pretty heavily during this time period and I believe that helped me as well. Worth thinking about.
Just one step at a time. each task is just another adventure. But that that in your own time. We will be here for you ❤ maybe you could do an earwax video to make light of the situation haha idk. Maybe make a video of you going on an adventure outside. No one will mind that too much and if they do it wont be the end of the world, and if its to much, just know that thats okay. Thats just you aclimating to getting this far in your journey and your past self would be proud. We are proud of you brother ❤
Sorry for the wall of text.
I don't know you and I don't presume to know your medical or mental situation, and I've only watched a little bit of a few of your recent videos just now, but I went through extreme depression since I was a child, and bad anxiety to where I never spoke in school except to my very close friends. Around 19 years old it reached a peak to where every morning I woke up, already mid-thought in thinking of suicide. It's all I thought about. I can't say what worked for me will work for anyone else, but my path to feeling happy again was this:
During a particularly bad suicidal moment at 19 I wondered "Why does it matter if I die?" I'm going to die anyways. I might as well stick around to see new tech, games, maybe a cool movie, whatever. It sounds unusual but it was almost a feeling a relief. Next, I decided since I was going to stick around, and I hate medicine, I decided to try Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). I read about it for a day or two and got the gist of it, made it my own.
Being anxious and depressed.... it already means you're extremely self-aware, CBT takes advantage of that. Use your strengths! When we become attached to these negative thoughts, and they start going in circles over and over and over, they make ruts. Deep grooves. Which also cause neurons in our brain to fire when they don't need to, and causing repeated thoughts that form into mental habits over months... years... Well, it's like losing weight, it takes time to put it on and it's going to take a while to lose.
It starts with being diligent in catching your negative thoughts. it's hard at first and gets easier, it takes a while. Months at least. Do not accept your bad thoughts as you "Seeing reality for what it is" That's a LIE. Our brain is very good at lying to us. You'll need to become good at noticing when you're JUSTIFYING things. Your mind will tell you anything to make you feel like you can't do it, or it's not working, or whatever. Nope -- you have to take the wheel and tell that part of the mind to STFU.
Now this is BY FAR the most important part: Treat yourself like a friend. I ALWAYS would fail and go right back to feeling like a piece of trash, because 100% of the time I would eventually forget to be mindful, and I'd catch myself thinking negative stuff for long periods of time. Then I'd notice, think "oh my god, I can't even do this right. I'm such a failure!" and go right back into a negative spiral. You ARE going to mess up. It's fine. Sometimes you'll forget about CBT for days or weeks at a time and feel like you lost all your progress... Treat yourself like a friend! Would you be mad at him for forgetting or will you be understanding and say "You're trying. Let's do it again and next time you'll forget only a few days!"
I noticed in your videos you're prone to negative self-talk. I was too. It's part of the symptoms. But it's very obvious you're not stupid and I promise you're much more capable than you think. The negative thoughts are an illusion -- it isn't you being a realist. It will take a long time but if you stick to this, and no matter how bad you mess up treat yourself as a friend, you will eventually replace the negative thoughts with positive ones. The anxiety and stuff, for me, was by far the easier but MUCH scarier part -- I had to force myself to do exposure therapy. I took a job as a cashier just to force myself to small talk a lot of people every day. After 3 months I realized part of the anxiety i had my ENTIRE life, from childhood to almost 30, was something I didn't have to live with.
Once some progress starts happening, that lifts some anxiety and it kind of snowballs. It takes time. But until I added the final ingredient of being extremely diligent to be kind to myself, gentle, and speak to myself as a friend... until I did that, I could never fix myself no matter what I did.
Wish you the best of luck in finding whatever solution works for you! ***OH another thing, I did get into stoicism pretty heavily during this time period and I believe that helped me as well. Worth thinking about.
Do you have wet or dry earwax
Dunno for sure, or it may depend.