@@Done_20 Sweetie, he’s not. He’s not going to fix your trauma or inner child. He’s not going to change. He’s not going to give you what you’ve been giving him. He’s not going to make you emotionally and spiritually fulfilled. You are the energy you accept and if you accept his energy, that’s what you will experience.
Thank you for such an insightful video. I have always thought for the longest time that INFJ and INFP couples would compliment each other and have a great relationship with one another as well. Such as no drama, game playing, and such. Real genuine love, care and empathy for one another. These are things we know how to do. Taking one another seriously.
Im 45, INFJ male, and ive never been in a good relationship. Lots of unsatisfying, superficial flings, but nothing amazing. Im here to be by myself in this lifetime. I meet people and have intense relationships at times but nothing romantic.
I am a 75 year olg male, and I can certainly empathize with your situation. Ny most recent relationship was for almost 10 years. There were some things that I could never tell her; I would have gotten the lecture "well, I never..." So I just couldn't open up about certain things. Are you a hopeless romantic like I am? I keep thinking of Rosie O'Donnell's line in Sleepless in Seattle- "You don't want to be in love. You want to be in love in a movie." Perhaps there's some truth in that.
@@BSNotAccepted Well first of all congrats on making it to 75!! That awesome. Time flies doesnt it. Secondly, yes to most of what youve said. My teenage years and into my 20's i thought women and whomever my personal crush was at the time, was/were the most beautiful things on the planet. But it was too idealistic. All in my head and not down to Earth. like you kinda said about the movie thing. Like i wanted to be like a movie or a love song. Im also a Libra and I know Libra energy can be like that too. So in short, yes, i can totally relate. I dont know what it is (probably a myriad of things), but those feelings about women have almost 100% gone away. Once, i used to see these innocent, beautiful, mysterious creatures and now all i can see is fat, ugly, money hungry, condescending, heartless, blobs of fat. I have just lost the interest in women.
I’m a female INTP whom has dated a couple of INFJ men, and both relationships lasted only between 1 week to 2 months only. The pattern I noticed with both male INFJ’s is that they both had serious trust issues, held way too back and didn’t give me the benefit of the doubt. They were both intelligent and really seemed to enjoy the intellectually stimulating conversations that I always craved for, whilst at the same token saw me as this cold person that was incapable of having emotions simply because my ability to express them didn’t come as readily. What they also didn’t understand, was that I couldn’t simply let go of my feelings if they were holding so much back and being so secretive. One of the male INFJ men admitted they couldn’t trust me, because he already got burned by his EX. Well then had to explicate that I was a completely different person, and that I shouldn’t suffer ‘the sin’ of the first woman. Anyways, I realized I had to move on, or continue getting hurt by them so a few years later, I winded marrying a fellow INTx, and INTJ.
@@BSNotAcceptedThere lies the problem. My past INFJ male ex’s were far too distrusting and held way too much back. Relationships are based on trust and mutual sharing. -INTP
Another question we need to ask ourselves- is there a deep seated need we are seeking to get met through this person, a need that in truth we ought to be meeting for ourselves.
I am an INFJ male. It's said that "nice guys finish last." INFJ males are the ultimate nice guys. Things that we normally do for people as "trying too hard" or even "desperate." Has anyone had this type of problem, especially early on in a relationship? I have purpose avoided doing things for someone I am dating (things I would have done for anyone) simply for fear of being misunderstood.
As an infj, I sure have. It took me a long time to be able to to relate to the women I was interested in at all, I've been a hopeles romantic for much of my youth. (I would totally clam up in the presence of a desirable woman) Recocnizing this wouldn't lead to anything, I forced myself into having experiences with women I didn't really desire. The way I did it was by studying pickup material. I used what fitted, and discarded the rest. Actually it's very liberating to not put women on a pedestal. I developed a persona that was as close to my personality as I could get, without transgressing my boundaries or compromising my principles. I am still one of the nicest guys around. But when I am interested in a woman, I make sure I am brutally honest to the point of being blunt. Together with a smile and a 'cocky funny' frame, I find being unapologetically politically incorrect works for me. After I had learnt, I had a 100% succes rate with the women I wanted. There weren't a great many, 4 in total, and I count the 2nd one as a soul mate. I am now 49, and without a romantic relationship for 6 years. I feel no desire for romance anymore, unless nr 2 comes around again. Still the most attractive woman I've ever encountered. Good luck, Bro PS you could look into what Teal Swan has to say about nice guys. I like her take on a lot of things and find my own ideas resonating with hers to a great extent.
While I still struggle to be the one initiating and being the first one to show interest; I've found having an edge/combative/teasing side to my personality really helps. Our Fe should keep us in check and not go too far, or know how to care-take if things have gone too far. That being said, keep the nice side of you going too. I think humans in general love variety; being someone who can do can drop the banter and have a real genuine, compassionate conversation with someone is wonderful imo. I was recently out with a group of people and one of the girls showed obvious signs of interest; this was great because I knew I wouldn't be overstepping or being creepy. At one point she got visibly upset I was talking to another girl in the group; my initial reaction was to be the nice-guy and try to fix it. But instead I just gently nudged her and said "why the f are you pulling that face...". She grinned and I guess liked me calling her out and also noticing she was "upset". She probably exaggerated it all to get a reaction out of me, that's all part of the weird flirting game we play. Anyway, having a balance of nice guy and playful-mean-guy seems to work. Women like nice guys, but being nice alone isn't enough.
I always believe that your Soulmate was understanding Self and God 😊 In order to be complete and whole... So meeting a partner or lover who was whole too was what made it a Soulful bond 😮Otherwise, you are 2 individuals who are not whole and haven't learned to love Self first 🤔 How can they love another...!?!
Well, you can compliment eachothers crazy :-). Or, slightly more positive, you compensate eachothers shortcomings in a way that the sum is more than its parts. And everybody has shortcomings, as long as they are not pathilogical it could work.
Spot on and well timed Lauren! Thank you so much for this ❤❤❤ It really is so, I've had the immense pleasure of having met quite a few "soulmates" , some were friends, others more, and others less Certainly not cut and dry! But oh how wonderful it could be, when you meet one who can be your partner!
I heard that infj’s often won’t ever meet their true soulmate in this lifetime, as partners serve as a distraction from our souls mission, destiny and life journey, we do however get to meet up with them on the other side.
In my experience, once you become established in your true Self, many of the traits that were once issues, you are able to be in a healthy, balanced relationship.
I feel that way too. I don’t think many INFJs’ have actual soulmates. I think you can have relationships and intense ones - but no one is truly a soulmate. There is something bigger that we do in our multiple lifetimes - and we can’t be tethered.
@@Missy-ql3us- I believe the concept of “soul mate”is only an overblown concept. The best partner is someone we have known in past lives and we agreed to share this lifetime together for a particular fulfilling purpose. Ideally, both are on the path of enlightenment together, understanding and supporting the other on the path. Lauren does a good job describing this kind of relationship.
I think I have met a soulmate. I have received channeled messages about him and have had many synchronicities regarding him too. I am attracted to him, but when I talk to him, I feel like I'm talking to my double. It's very strange. I don't think we have much in common in this life, but have had other lives together. Time will tell if we will be more than acquaintances.
be aware that most taro card readers B.S.-channeling asses are being used by envious mischievous narcissistic disembodied spaceghost entities like meat-puppets . don't fall for arrogant overexaggerated hype --- whether its negative or positive. magic is the power of suggestion --- and us honest to goodness naturally impressionable souls ought to start a divine classaction lawsuit against them irresponsible deceptacon hex-nutz . . .
Love the way you explained 😅it... I individuals showing up to change your life or circumstances but never lovers 😊 for a minute, hour, day, week, month or years Lol 🤔
Just watched this and it explains so much. I did meet my soulmate and I hoped it would lead to a relationship, which I've now accepted it's not going to. However we get on as well as ever. I've just never heard of a soulmate which didn't lead to marriage, but I've had a pretty strange life so there are gaps in my knowledge. I will have to watch this video a few times. That we could have several soulmates in a lifetime, not just one, and not marry any of them is a new concept, but I do like learning. Maybe it's not down to earth enough?
There's Soul Mate, which could be anyone from a friend, stranger that helps you, your dog, etc. Then there's Twin Flame. Your Twin Flame is someone, on a deeper level, reflects a lot of your shadow side, and y'all are spiritually from the same space esoterically speaking, and y'all are very twin like on a soul level. Your Twin Flame can seem like a trauma bond in some ways at times. But y'all teach each other karmic lessons based around y'all shadow sides y'all need to learn in this lifetime. So y'all will split then come back together. Each time y'all split can be because y'all still have to grow as individuals, before y'all have a more stable relationship together. It's also important to know y'all natal charts & synastry between y'all. It's not all about being happy & skipping through a field of flowers, holding hands, like FuFu Hollywood has people's minds in lostness.
I think I'm going to start using the comments sections on INFJ videos as a dating site!! I've never met another one in my life I didn't even know there were others like me! But reading the comments on various videos was like reading my life story. So here goes!! 51 year old, INFJ-A female, located in western NY. Let's see what happens🤣
My understanding of soul mates is that they are other members of your soul group. Because soul groups are limited in size, you might not have many soul mates. A twin soul however is a perfect match to you and you typically only have one of those and they are in fact the same soul but split into energy.. Soul mates never "complete" you, i believe that's a misconception. A twin soul however does "complete" you, but it's very rare to meet yours. A soul mate is more likely to challenge you in some way, (as you mention in the description) as that's their role in your current lifetime.
Someone asked my husband, what was it about me that drew him to me and made him know I was "the one". He replied, no one had ever really listened to him and made him feel seen the way I did. I felt this sinking feeling in my stomach hearing that. The person asking looked at me so awkwardly lol I think we both knew.......it had NOTHING to do with who I was as a person, but everything to do with what he was getting from me.
im gonna be harsh here but w.e, And you think this is bad? So your husband values feeling heard and understood in your relationship, and that's somehow a problem? Maybe instead of fixating on a single comment, you could appreciate that he wanted to make you feel appreciated for the depth you bring to his life. Not everything said in a moment captures the entirety of a relationship.
I really don't believe in the literal meaning of this word, my definition of a soulmate is someone you will face your lifetime with, side by side, you have same beliefs, same mission, same lifestyle, same admiration, same romantic connection.
Never met a soulmate, but I have met a kindred spirit. I also met a narcissist once...she was not a soulmate. Wish I had known she was a narc! There should be warning labels!
What if there is a physical attraction?! Do you heard about the triangle of love? When there's intamacy and friendship, it's passion love, so it is love.. even friendship considered as love.
I feel like soulmate when applied to an individual puts an unspoken burden on whatever u had going before the label was made. And these contracts we think we have is our brains go to way to identify and define things or to rationalize. If it were in the blueprint, we aren't able to know hence it would decrease meaning. Discernment is key in all this, but again, it's us discerning ourselves. I say if it feels like everyone is projecting their shit and acting like it's you, ppl around u don't take your words seriously bcuz they're coming from you, and the ever increasing feeling that this reality is inverted ..... Then u are right in track Anybody not struggling or going thru it right now is playing this bitch on easy mode and in the end ain't worth a fuck.
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If you are with a narcissist they aren’t a soul mate. Learn the Empath-Narcissist dynamic. If it applies to your relationship, run.
I Will keep Thad in mind 😊 2:15
Still want him to be😔
@@Done_20 Sweetie, he’s not.
He’s not going to fix your trauma or inner child.
He’s not going to change.
He’s not going to give you what you’ve been giving him.
He’s not going to make you emotionally and spiritually fulfilled.
You are the energy you accept and if you accept his energy, that’s what you will experience.
soo true
Thank you for such an insightful video. I have always thought for the longest time that INFJ and INFP couples would compliment each other and have a great relationship with one another as well. Such as no drama, game playing, and such. Real genuine love, care and empathy for one another. These are things we know how to do. Taking one another seriously.
I read that NF relationship satisfaction rates shoot up to 70+% when paired with other NF's whereas overall infj have dismally love satisfaction.
Im 45, INFJ male, and ive never been in a good relationship. Lots of unsatisfying, superficial flings, but nothing amazing. Im here to be by myself in this lifetime. I meet people and have intense relationships at times but nothing romantic.
I am a 75 year olg male, and I can certainly empathize with your situation. Ny most recent relationship was for almost 10 years. There were some things that I could never tell her; I would have gotten the lecture "well, I never..." So I just couldn't open up about certain things.
Are you a hopeless romantic like I am? I keep thinking of Rosie O'Donnell's line in Sleepless in Seattle- "You don't want to be in love. You want to be in love in a movie." Perhaps there's some truth in that.
@@BSNotAccepted Well first of all congrats on making it to 75!! That awesome. Time flies doesnt it.
Secondly, yes to most of what youve said. My teenage years and into my 20's i thought women and whomever my personal crush was at the time, was/were the most beautiful things on the planet. But it was too idealistic. All in my head and not down to Earth. like you kinda said about the movie thing. Like i wanted to be like a movie or a love song. Im also a Libra and I know Libra energy can be like that too. So in short, yes, i can totally relate.
I dont know what it is (probably a myriad of things), but those feelings about women have almost 100% gone away. Once, i used to see these innocent, beautiful, mysterious creatures and now all i can see is fat, ugly, money hungry, condescending, heartless, blobs of fat. I have just lost the interest in women.
@@DonTrump-sv1si lololol... oh dear. But I do get you and yes, a lot of women are not feminine anymore.... just not all women
I’m a female INTP whom has dated a couple of INFJ men, and both relationships lasted only between 1 week to 2 months only. The pattern I noticed with both male INFJ’s is that they both had serious trust issues, held way too back and didn’t give me the benefit of the doubt. They were both intelligent and really seemed to enjoy the intellectually stimulating conversations that I always craved for, whilst at the same token saw me as this cold person that was incapable of having emotions simply because my ability to express them didn’t come as readily. What they also didn’t understand, was that I couldn’t simply let go of my feelings if they were holding so much back and being so secretive. One of the male INFJ men admitted they couldn’t trust me, because he already got burned by his EX. Well then had to explicate that I was a completely different person, and that I shouldn’t suffer ‘the sin’ of the first woman.
Anyways, I realized I had to move on, or continue getting hurt by them so a few years later, I winded marrying a fellow INTx, and INTJ.
@@BSNotAcceptedThere lies the problem. My past INFJ male ex’s were far too distrusting and held way too much back. Relationships are based on trust and mutual sharing. -INTP
Another question we need to ask ourselves- is there a deep seated need we are seeking to get met through this person, a need that in truth we ought to be meeting for ourselves.
I am an INFJ male. It's said that "nice guys finish last." INFJ males are the ultimate nice guys. Things that we normally do for people as "trying too hard" or even "desperate." Has anyone had this type of problem, especially early on in a relationship? I have purpose avoided doing things for someone I am dating (things I would have done for anyone) simply for fear of being misunderstood.
Yes….same! Stay you. You’re doing excellent. 😊
As an infj, I sure have. It took me a long time to be able to to relate to the women I was interested in at all, I've been a hopeles romantic for much of my youth. (I would totally clam up in the presence of a desirable woman) Recocnizing this wouldn't lead to anything, I forced myself into having experiences with women I didn't really desire. The way I did it was by studying pickup material. I used what fitted, and discarded the rest.
Actually it's very liberating to not put women on a pedestal. I developed a persona that was as close to my personality as I could get, without transgressing my boundaries or compromising my principles.
I am still one of the nicest guys around. But when I am interested in a woman, I make sure I am brutally honest to the point of being blunt. Together with a smile and a 'cocky funny' frame, I find being unapologetically politically incorrect works for me. After I had learnt, I had a 100% succes rate with the women I wanted. There weren't a great many, 4 in total, and I count the 2nd one as a soul mate. I am now 49, and without a romantic relationship for 6 years. I feel no desire for romance anymore, unless nr 2 comes around again. Still the most attractive woman I've ever encountered.
Good luck, Bro
PS you could look into what Teal Swan has to say about nice guys. I like her take on a lot of things and find my own ideas resonating with hers to a great extent.
While I still struggle to be the one initiating and being the first one to show interest; I've found having an edge/combative/teasing side to my personality really helps. Our Fe should keep us in check and not go too far, or know how to care-take if things have gone too far. That being said, keep the nice side of you going too. I think humans in general love variety; being someone who can do can drop the banter and have a real genuine, compassionate conversation with someone is wonderful imo.
I was recently out with a group of people and one of the girls showed obvious signs of interest; this was great because I knew I wouldn't be overstepping or being creepy. At one point she got visibly upset I was talking to another girl in the group; my initial reaction was to be the nice-guy and try to fix it. But instead I just gently nudged her and said "why the f are you pulling that face...". She grinned and I guess liked me calling her out and also noticing she was "upset". She probably exaggerated it all to get a reaction out of me, that's all part of the weird flirting game we play. Anyway, having a balance of nice guy and playful-mean-guy seems to work. Women like nice guys, but being nice alone isn't enough.
I have no doubt that SoulMates come in ALL forms to both celebrate & resolve certain chapters of our experience :) I am so grateful for you!
Wish I had heard all of this before 10 years married to a soul mate narcissist INTJ, lol...ahhh! Glad to hear it now, tgough...thanks:)
I always believe that your Soulmate was understanding Self and God 😊 In order to be complete and whole...
So meeting a partner or lover who was whole too was what made it a Soulful bond 😮Otherwise, you are 2 individuals who are not whole and haven't learned to love Self first 🤔 How can they love another...!?!
Well, you can compliment eachothers crazy :-). Or, slightly more positive, you compensate eachothers shortcomings in a way that the sum is more than its parts. And everybody has shortcomings, as long as they are not pathilogical it could work.
Spot on and well timed Lauren! Thank you so much for this ❤❤❤
It really is so, I've had the immense pleasure of having met quite a few "soulmates" , some were friends, others more, and others less
Certainly not cut and dry!
But oh how wonderful it could be, when you meet one who can be your partner!
I heard that infj’s often won’t ever meet their true soulmate in this lifetime, as partners serve as a distraction from our souls mission, destiny and life journey, we do however get to meet up with them on the other side.
🤮 Well, then I hate that for us. 😂
In my experience, once you become established in your true Self, many of the traits that were once issues, you are able to be in a healthy, balanced relationship.
Fuq that!
Sounds like what your parents would say when you were in school.
I feel that way too. I don’t think many INFJs’ have actual soulmates. I think you can have relationships and intense ones - but no one is truly a soulmate. There is something bigger that we do in our multiple lifetimes - and we can’t be tethered.
@@Missy-ql3us- I believe the concept of “soul mate”is only an overblown concept. The best partner is someone we have known in past lives and we agreed to share this lifetime together for a particular fulfilling purpose. Ideally, both are on the path of enlightenment together, understanding and supporting the other on the path. Lauren does a good job describing this kind of relationship.
I think I have met a soulmate. I have received channeled messages about him and have had many synchronicities regarding him too. I am attracted to him, but when I talk to him, I feel like I'm talking to my double. It's very strange. I don't think we have much in common in this life, but have had other lives together. Time will tell if we will be more than acquaintances.
be aware that most taro card readers B.S.-channeling asses are being used by envious mischievous narcissistic disembodied spaceghost entities like meat-puppets .
don't fall for arrogant overexaggerated hype --- whether its negative or positive. magic is the power of suggestion --- and us honest to goodness naturally impressionable souls ought to start a divine classaction lawsuit against them irresponsible deceptacon hex-nutz . . .
Thanks, Lauren! This INFP/J finds your insights spot on. 😉
Love the way you explained 😅it... I individuals showing up to change your life or circumstances but never lovers 😊 for a minute, hour, day, week, month or years Lol 🤔
Just watched this and it explains so much. I did meet my soulmate and I hoped it would lead to a relationship, which I've now accepted it's not going to.
However we get on as well as ever. I've just never heard of a soulmate which didn't lead to marriage, but I've had a pretty strange life so there are gaps in my knowledge.
I will have to watch this video a few times. That we could have several soulmates in a lifetime, not just one, and not marry any of them is a new concept, but I do like learning. Maybe it's not down to earth enough?
My soulmate is my dog, who is a Highly Sensitive Doggy. ❤
Lauren, do you have a Discord channel? I feel there’s a lot of opportunities for a community to develop around your channel there.
There's Soul Mate, which could be anyone from a friend, stranger that helps you, your dog, etc. Then there's Twin Flame. Your Twin Flame is someone, on a deeper level, reflects a lot of your shadow side, and y'all are spiritually from the same space esoterically speaking, and y'all are very twin like on a soul level. Your Twin Flame can seem like a trauma bond in some ways at times. But y'all teach each other karmic lessons based around y'all shadow sides y'all need to learn in this lifetime. So y'all will split then come back together. Each time y'all split can be because y'all still have to grow as individuals, before y'all have a more stable relationship together. It's also important to know y'all natal charts & synastry between y'all. It's not all about being happy & skipping through a field of flowers, holding hands, like FuFu Hollywood has people's minds in lostness.
thanks for keeping thee ideal --- REAL yawl !
As an INFJ I've met many INFP soulmates or kindred spirits and all of them ended up hurting me 😢
I think I'm going to start using the comments sections on INFJ videos as a dating site!!
I've never met another one in my life I didn't even know there were others like me! But reading the comments on various videos was like reading my life story.
So here goes!! 51 year old, INFJ-A female, located in western NY.
Let's see what happens🤣
Great explanation of the true meaning of Soulmate. It completely sounds familiar to my idea.
Thank you ... always in all ways
Me and my bestfriend are soulmates. Shes an ENTP, im a INFJ
That was nice 😊
How about meeting multiple narcissistic partners, is that common for INFJs?
We are just easy prey for narcissists
Yes. Super common.
Somehow I avoided in my life, but other INFJs are giving, and narcissists prey on that.
Yes.common.possibly,our traumatic childhood played a big role in getting a narcissistic partner.
Ughhhh….it’s a curse! 😮
Thank you
My understanding of soul mates is that they are other members of your soul group. Because soul groups are limited in size, you might not have many soul mates. A twin soul however is a perfect match to you and you typically only have one of those and they are in fact the same soul but split into energy.. Soul mates never "complete" you, i believe that's a misconception. A twin soul however does "complete" you, but it's very rare to meet yours. A soul mate is more likely to challenge you in some way, (as you mention in the description) as that's their role in your current lifetime.
Someone asked my husband, what was it about me that drew him to me and made him know I was "the one". He replied, no one had ever really listened to him and made him feel seen the way I did. I felt this sinking feeling in my stomach hearing that. The person asking looked at me so awkwardly lol I think we both knew.......it had NOTHING to do with who I was as a person, but everything to do with what he was getting from me.
im gonna be harsh here but w.e,
And you think this is bad? So your husband values feeling heard and understood in your relationship, and that's somehow a problem? Maybe instead of fixating on a single comment, you could appreciate that he wanted to make you feel appreciated for the depth you bring to his life. Not everything said in a moment captures the entirety of a relationship.
Very odd comment. It seems like you're trying to find a reason to distance yourself from your husband
I really don't believe in the literal meaning of this word, my definition of a soulmate is someone you will face your lifetime with, side by side, you have same beliefs, same mission, same lifestyle, same admiration, same romantic connection.
Billie
Never met a soulmate, but I have met a kindred spirit. I also met a narcissist once...she was not a soulmate. Wish I had known she was a narc! There should be warning labels!
What if there is a physical attraction?!
Do you heard about the triangle of love?
When there's intamacy and friendship, it's passion love, so it is love.. even friendship considered as love.
Soulmates are not the same as a Twin Flame. I mistakenly thought that for most of my life...
Or they are married 😅 INFJ we are delusional especially in Love. 😥
That's more about to INFP than INFJ.
❤
I would bet out of the 100 of you calling someone a narcissist, 99 are wrong. Just stop throwing that word around like you are a trained Psychologist.
You sound like my narcissistic ex
No we don't, or it wouldn't be call soulmate.
I feel like soulmate when applied to an individual puts an unspoken burden on whatever u had going before the label was made. And these contracts we think we have is our brains go to way to identify and define things or to rationalize. If it were in the blueprint, we aren't able to know hence it would decrease meaning.
Discernment is key in all this, but again, it's us discerning ourselves.
I say if it feels like everyone is projecting their shit and acting like it's you, ppl around u don't take your words seriously bcuz they're coming from you, and the ever increasing feeling that this reality is inverted ..... Then u are right in track
Anybody not struggling or going thru it right now is playing this bitch on easy mode and in the end ain't worth a fuck.