Full critique: Here are the 5 main scenes: call -> teeth-bushing -> moving-in discussion -> after gathering -> therapist/counselor? Overall, the feeling is a sense of hesitance or indecisiveness which fits the bill of "I don't know"; however, the levity of each scenario presented is very different from each other which makes the feeling geared more towards personal incompetence as the underlying issue since it lacks patterning or clear logical sequencing. Eating at which restaurant is relatively trivial compared to talking about moving in with another person or seeing a therapist. It is hard to string these things together in a short time frame (since there is no plot connection), unless there is a clear pattern of escalation or deescalation. Escalation can imply an increasing of tension due to an unknown factor, while deescalation can imply the gravity of the most insignificant event is trickling down to the other smaller events. In this piece, there is no such foreshadowing or pattern which downplayed the pervasiveness of the mindset of "I don't know", and seems like just a person who can't make up their mind or is "shallow", because they never thought about what will happen. The 1st scene is probably the most critical in establishing the understanding of the character, and sadly I think this is the weakest part of the film. The main character lied to her friends knowing full well, and that basically establishes her as a irresponsible and untrustworthy person. The teeth-bushing scene is another trivial event; however, in this scene, she showed hesitance only after her sister gave her a bunch of options, so it somewhat indicates indecisiveness due to having many options. The move-in discussion is the best scene in my opinion, because there are many devices used to help people understand the situation without having an extended knowledge of what is going on. Phrases like "just give me more time" implies that it is not the 1st time the topic was mentioned, and how angry the male character gets also hinted a mounting frustration towards her inaction on this topic. And how she snaps back immediately when he indicated that she might be "playing the game" really tells the audience that she is not cheating but just don't know what to do. The after party scene is another relatively low impact scene with not a lot of information. Since people usually don't just space out like that, it raises the question to why she is behaving like that, what is going on? Is it related to the previous scene? Is it a mental illness? Is it due to stress? Like why? The last scene is a nice ending, because it reinforces the idea of "I don't know", of course at that point is the counselor's job to figure out why. But placing her in a professional environment is somewhat taking the initiative away from her in a sense, because she needed the help, instead of sitting down trying to figure it out herself. And to me, that is the biggest issue with the film, is the framing of the protagonist. Due to the 1st and 2nd scene, it really makes it feel like she is just a irresponsible individual who gets confused easily, and nothing in the later scene adds anything beyond that. So the theme of "I don't know" is somewhat lost, because it is not that the character "could not know" (due a lack of experience or fear), but because the character is too incompetent to know which I don't think is what you are aiming for? You said that you are aiming for the feeling of anxiety in the face of uncertainty, I understand that; however, decisions have relative weights to them, things such as picking where to eat is obviously not as important vs moving-in with a significant other, unless we are taking about anxiety disorder. You really want to focus on establishing the source of the anxiety in a short film such as this. Of course, it doesn't have to be a scene of reveal, but at least a hint of it, like if it is induced by work stress, relationship, or maybe by just aging or carrying more responsibility (which you can do a scenes from young to old and show a shift to being more anxious about making life decisions). If we shift the move-in scene as the 1st one, and lined the others behind, I think most people would assume her "I don't know" is triggered by the unknown and stress related to her relationship. I raised this point because you have to consider how to establish a logical sequence of events to help emphasize the theme, or else it can be easily derailed. Nice 1st film though.
Full critique:
Here are the 5 main scenes: call -> teeth-bushing -> moving-in discussion -> after gathering -> therapist/counselor?
Overall, the feeling is a sense of hesitance or indecisiveness which fits the bill of "I don't know"; however, the levity of each scenario presented is very different from each other which makes the feeling geared more towards personal incompetence as the underlying issue since it lacks patterning or clear logical sequencing.
Eating at which restaurant is relatively trivial compared to talking about moving in with another person or seeing a therapist. It is hard to string these things together in a short time frame (since there is no plot connection), unless there is a clear pattern of escalation or deescalation. Escalation can imply an increasing of tension due to an unknown factor, while deescalation can imply the gravity of the most insignificant event is trickling down to the other smaller events. In this piece, there is no such foreshadowing or pattern which downplayed the pervasiveness of the mindset of "I don't know", and seems like just a person who can't make up their mind or is "shallow", because they never thought about what will happen.
The 1st scene is probably the most critical in establishing the understanding of the character, and sadly I think this is the weakest part of the film. The main character lied to her friends knowing full well, and that basically establishes her as a irresponsible and untrustworthy person.
The teeth-bushing scene is another trivial event; however, in this scene, she showed hesitance only after her sister gave her a bunch of options, so it somewhat indicates indecisiveness due to having many options.
The move-in discussion is the best scene in my opinion, because there are many devices used to help people understand the situation without having an extended knowledge of what is going on. Phrases like "just give me more time" implies that it is not the 1st time the topic was mentioned, and how angry the male character gets also hinted a mounting frustration towards her inaction on this topic. And how she snaps back immediately when he indicated that she might be "playing the game" really tells the audience that she is not cheating but just don't know what to do.
The after party scene is another relatively low impact scene with not a lot of information. Since people usually don't just space out like that, it raises the question to why she is behaving like that, what is going on? Is it related to the previous scene? Is it a mental illness? Is it due to stress? Like why?
The last scene is a nice ending, because it reinforces the idea of "I don't know", of course at that point is the counselor's job to figure out why. But placing her in a professional environment is somewhat taking the initiative away from her in a sense, because she needed the help, instead of sitting down trying to figure it out herself.
And to me, that is the biggest issue with the film, is the framing of the protagonist. Due to the 1st and 2nd scene, it really makes it feel like she is just a irresponsible individual who gets confused easily, and nothing in the later scene adds anything beyond that. So the theme of "I don't know" is somewhat lost, because it is not that the character "could not know" (due a lack of experience or fear), but because the character is too incompetent to know which I don't think is what you are aiming for?
You said that you are aiming for the feeling of anxiety in the face of uncertainty, I understand that; however, decisions have relative weights to them, things such as picking where to eat is obviously not as important vs moving-in with a significant other, unless we are taking about anxiety disorder. You really want to focus on establishing the source of the anxiety in a short film such as this. Of course, it doesn't have to be a scene of reveal, but at least a hint of it, like if it is induced by work stress, relationship, or maybe by just aging or carrying more responsibility (which you can do a scenes from young to old and show a shift to being more anxious about making life decisions).
If we shift the move-in scene as the 1st one, and lined the others behind, I think most people would assume her "I don't know" is triggered by the unknown and stress related to her relationship. I raised this point because you have to consider how to establish a logical sequence of events to help emphasize the theme, or else it can be easily derailed.
Nice 1st film though.
Loved the hand held/ shaky cam when faced with decisions and the steady/still cam when Kayla is "paralyzed"
Hit real close to home! Amazing work Cyn!
I can tell this was a passion project. It turned out great!
Great job Cyn! Very moving
Found this through ACN and loved it!!
Congratulations Cynthia!! GREAT JOB!! WOOHOO!!
Great film cynzyy, I loved it and hope to see more from you cynzyy.
Cynzy this is really good!!!
Yay! This is amazing! Great job team! 👏
Wow this was great! Loved it :) Congrats Cynthia!!
that really resonated with me. Great job!
Congratulations cynthia!!! This is amazing ♥️♥️♥️
This is awesome Cynthia! :) Bravo!
Great film! 10/10 would watch again
Loved it!!
So powerful 🙏🏻 great job Cynthia!!!
Love it!
Worth the wait.
It's good.
subscribed!
nice
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