My daughter is giving a presentation in school this week. Half the class just said they weren't doing it. When I was in school (I'm 44 now) there wasn't even an option to not do it.
That’s a good thing. Nobody should be forced to do something against their will. If you don’t work you don’t make no money but you have the choice. Shouldn’t force anyone to stand in front of everyone and present a project and speech or else they fail. Not right
We couldn’t afford therapy growing up. Instead we went to confession at church. When I was 15 years old (in the 80s) I was confessing to the Priest feeling like a horrible person. He leaned around the screen (which was a shock to me) and said, “You need to lighten up. You are not a bad kid. I’m not even going to make you do penance. You are free to go.” I was so shocked! I took his words to heart and now in my 50s still remind myself of that. Society at large (and of course parents) needs to reinforce to young people they are ok. It’s ok to make mistakes. To try and fail. Failure is learning in action. Failure is feedback. I wish I could give all Gen Z’s a big hug. Instead I volunteer at my Alma Mater to give talks to classes and Jen asked to do so and speak on resilience. As a mom of 3 adult sons I’m an expert. I bet you are too! Let’s be the village to support and encourage the younger generations-not mock them.
❤️ thanks for that. I’ve commented this on another post but I do feel like gen z is a product of their environment (chronic stress, fear, uncertainty, insecurity). I think it’s really hard for us to find community, support, generosity and a place where we feel safe. Instead, it feels like we are met with more judgment, fear and criticism. We are great kids but we are really struggling right now and need someone to believe in us as we are.
Fuck yes!!! Thank you for that. As a millennial who didn't have everything given to them I'm grateful as fuck for my parents and mentors. I may not have been given everything I ever wanted as a kid. However, I was given everything I ever needed.
that’s true. and they’ve been cushioned from every sad, disappointing or bad emotion. When you aren’t able to experience that and learn from it as a young kid it hits you hard as a teen and adult. The schools do this from the start. kids are supposed to socialize that way with each other but adults get way too involved and don’t let them figure it out.
What really helped me as a gen Zer was staying off social media, not comparing my self to others, and dipping my hand into everything I can. when I was 18 I was admitted to a psych ward because I was spending too much time thinking and moping about how much of a loser I felt like that I was becoming delusional hoping that my life would change somehow. When I started taking action and going back to school and pursuing a career my focus shifted from “why is my life like this?” to “how can I turn my life into this?”
Good move, social media is poison! Invest that time in something else that is actually good for your future and well being. Social Media will be the exact same BS ten years from now as it is today. Instagram for instance is just a marketing tool, more than half of what gets posted are fake. People as well, don't try too hard to make people happy, It is impossible. Been there and done that, learnt my lesson when it comes to people :)
Gen X here, and I want you to know that I see a lot of promise in your generation. You are the most like us, but we need to remind you that you are very resilient more than you realize. We had to fend for ourselves and it made us tougher because of it. I also see your generation as the one that brings the country back to God. Most of our problems are because secularism allows no room for mistakes and you learn a lot from failures. Faith gives you purpose to want to improve yourself while not worrying about others or comparing yourself to others. God loves us and never gives up on us and we are all redeemable. Please remember that. Hugs to you, you guys will accomplish a lot if you lead the nation back to its roots.
I am an elder mil. one foot in X - and my father told me life would be hard, sometimes you will loose and sometimes you will win. Not everyone will like you - like yourself and you will find your tribe. I thought he was a little tough on me - but now.. in life during this crazy time, I am so so grateful.
Exactly. I was born in 73. I tell my 19 year old daughter that not everyone is going to like her or support her. She'll meet people who disagree with her and treat her badly, and it's ok. You can't expect everyone to be "fair" or to like you. She looked at me like I was nuts, but I think she's starting to see what I was talking about.
I was widowed 3 years ago, with 2 teenage boys and 7 year old girl. It was very traumatic for all of us, brain aneurysm at home in the middle of conversation. I had therapists want to put my 15 year old son on ssri after having talked to him for a total of 5 minutes. Wrong. This really bad crazy thing happened and you witnessed it. You need to process this event and move forward not block it out with chemicals. So that’s what we did. He felt all things as they came and we talked about it together, still do. One of my kids tried to pull the “I’m special because this happened.” Wrong. You are not special. Bad shit happens every day, it sucks. But that’s not permission to be a drain on the world around you. You can’t control what happened, but you can control your response to it. We aren’t moving on, we’re moving forward. Me specifically knowing I’ve already had the worst day of my life, I can handle whatever comes. And so can they.
I am so sorry for your loss and I hope your family is doing fine. You sound like a great mother and I hope everything turns out or continues turning out alright.
I can only imagine how tough this must’ve been for you and your children. And you also sound like a very wise strong and capable woman! Your kids will absolutely thank you when they’re old enough to understand how much you’ve endured to keep them safe and allow them to grow into the same capable strong adults that you are.
Parents MUST be strong. Who else is there?? Parents are no more prepared for adulthood, let alone raising others to be adults, than anyone else. Let that sink in. Parents "step up to the plate." They wing it daily, pulling from reservoirs previously unknown to themselves, hoping those under their care (and oftentimes themselves too) mentally survive another couple days. @@Mannsy83
She just single handedly expressed what I’ve been saying for years “regularly concentrating on your bad feelings will make you feel bad” simple as that
on the flip side to this, i think there's nothing wrong with concentrating on how you feel bad regularly as long as you redirect that energy to improvement or some sort of cautious optimism because you have to examine why you feel bad to overcome it. think its important to say this if someone reads this and decides to be like overly positive which is also mad annoying
@@beabadoobeefanq_q3701people who refuse to let themselves feel bad are like people who refuse to clean their home or take out the trash. When you ignore your problems, it feels like you’re having more fun and things are better, but that shit will pile up around you and start fuckin up your life.
I’ve gone through therapy and all this describes exactly how I feel about it NOW. For sure. Sure maybe it helped at first. But it’s NOT what works long term and correctly. I’ve now evolved to “everything is all shit anyways so I have to start liking shit” And it’s working for sure. I’ve become quite comfortable being uncomfortable and just expect it to be now so. That’s what I really needed to get over. Therapy does NOT address that.
I finally went to a therapist for a few months to address anxiety that I’ve had for 20-25 years (since childhood) and she helped me train my mind rather than give me meds. I think I saw her for 6 months and she was happy that I didn’t need her anymore. It was hard work but I never had that toolkit before. I think these kids need a toolkit rather than coddling .
That's great. I manage a healthcare centre & I see way too many ppl coming to see Drs & therapist with anxiety & they just get medicated to the hilt & after a while they end up with a addiction.
Please..im interested to know what worked for you as well..i am not currently in the right place (financially) to be able to afford therapy..i know everyone is different but any tips would be hugely appreciated
My recovery journey was greatly enhanced by the therapeutic benefits of mushrooms. Other psychedelics like DMT and LSD have also proven to be remarkable.
Psilocybin mushrooms,DMT and LSD has been quite therapeutic for me. I was diagnosed with severe depression and mental health issues, not until a friend recommended golden teachers mushroom for spiritual and mental gratification. I’ve been well ever since for about 4 years now.
Many forget that hormones are all messed up, too. I’m a nurse and so many young men have low testosterone. Low testosterone is associated with anxiety, fatigue, and low self esteem.
what are some reasons this generation has lower testosterone? Rogan had that one lady that claimed it was plastics seeping into our systems. Anything else common that might cause it?
@@hapaharley1706Its most likely parents not giving a fuck about their kids and sticking them in front of screens to distract them. The kids grow up complacent and without doing anything physical theyre not gonna be producing testosterone right. Its the parents not parenting. Its what it always has been.
Gen Z here, my husband passed away when I was 8 months pregnant. Obviously, it was awful and devastating but something curious also happened. My anxiety, I'd been plagued with since I was 9yo vanished. A social worker came to talk with me in the hospital and said, "This is going to be a trauma for you..." and I cut her off "ma'am I dont think this is a trauma, its simply just a tradegy" We are so insulated from death, in modern society, and while it's a horrible experience to endure loss, it does ground you. None of the little things bother you after enduring something so earthshattering.
Parents do need to say “ Move on “ I’m Gen x , I grew up in good times. I do not envy Gen z , especially with social media , the economy , crazy politics, lack Of Community , etc etc But they will need to figure it out - and they will ❤
I’m a child therapist with an LPC but my undergraduate degree is in psychology and A big part of what I do is parent training rather than talk therapy. Parents absolutely transfer huge amounts of anxiety, over protect, and they live their life through a screen.
I was a child therapist in the school system for a while. I left the field because I could not be part of the systemic psychological abuse of children, the "therapeutic education", the weekly manipulative "circle times", the teaching boys that they are inferior to girls, the teaching and preaching that "there is no such thing as truth and right and wrong", that gender is a social construct, that the white male patriarchy wrecked the planet and oppresses girls and women, the banning of activities that boys enjoy, encouraging girls to "be assertive" and boys to "cry more", to value emotions and feelings over all else,... etc, etc.
So You say parents over do it, yet at the same time you had to give us all the credentials you had to gather before you were allowed to professionally talk with children, don't you think needing a Masters & a PHD plus all these certifications just to be a therapist is part of the problem too? By the time ya'll are allowed to practice your completely brainwashed.
I will say, as a 40 year old, screens feel safer and parents have always been transferring their fears and anxiety onto their children! I'm consciously trying to not put my issues onto my kids. My daughter is definitely not affected by my issues in the slightest and I admire her "I can do anything" attitude. I do want her to know that she will be hurt at times, but that's life's way of telling her to reevaluate things
As if decades of Journalist Activism isn't a HUGE part of the problem. Please. I like TJRE, but not this drivel. People like her are a huge part of the problem. Maybe that explains Joe's long pause after she finally shuts her yap at the beginning of the video. Would have loved to know what he was really thinking.
@@fastinbulvis2223 You have no idea what you are talking about. The causes and best treatments for anxiety have been well understood for decades but swamped and covered over with hundreds of false leftist studies that fail independent replication, and a flood of expensive exacerbation programs that further generate the problem and make wealthy careers for everyone involved in them.
When I was 19 (4 years ago) my mother died very suddenly due to malpractice. I dropped her off at the hospital for routine surgery, was supposed to pick her up the next morning and 2 days later she died. She was a single mother and my best friend. This led to a ton of anger and wrecked my mental health, I lived with my grandparents and for a bit before I packed up and moved across the state for a job. While I was living with my grandparents they had me go to therapy, my therapist was an older woman mid 60s, very nice and practical lady I saw her twice a month for about 6 months. She explained that the thoughts and feelings I was having were normal after an event like that and broke it down to me, but also explained that life goes on. I would get depressed and anxious(still get anxious) I heard about medicine from my peers to help with this and she would tell me “you don’t need painkillers for sore muscles, your brain is sore from the trauma and this will pass” and it made sense. I’ve found natural ways to deal with my mental health and I think her not prescribing me anything saved me in the long run. I hear about my peers who take all this medication for trauma they created in their mind,they are weak minded. My generation is fucked
not only ours every generation is fucked even 60yo people are taking antidepressants now mate sick world with no room for fragile people thats why there is so many artists passing and stuff
Ive suffered with anxiety and depression most of my life. The best tip i can give is to find something you enjoy and are passionate about. For me it was hunting, fishing, and just being outdoors. Exercise is important to.
Hello❤🎉 from Mother Father of all creation our creators are in the physical flesh please phone home today in this special lifetime to heal and live joy! Stop destruction intents
I went on meds for depression and anxiety and my parents would tell me they’ve also experienced very similar symptoms sometime in life but they had to push through and had responsibilities so they just did what was needed to be done. However they did help me out and never questioned my symptoms. But they also did tell me to get out of the house more and not sit alone in my room because that would force me to think and think and getting anxious. I used to get angry at them thinking they don’t understand but now after years of being off the meds, I realise how good my parents’ advice was.
@@cherobinson6371 Aside from being barely legible, that's an odd response. Not everyone needs to be medicated, and doctors prescribe and push these things a majority of the time on people with less severe symptoms. It works for some people and doesn't work for others. I have felt suicidal and unable to function, and I take an anti-depressant. I haven't always, and won't forever. Everyone is different. Don't take offense simply because someone else got good advice, and didn't need the medication themselves.
I’m currently in school to be a therapist and I completely agree with all of this. Mental health practitioners need to stop helping people be a victim. Live your life, touch grass, feel awful, feel wonderful. It’s life
This may sound ironic, but I kept getting pissed at my therapist because I felt like she wouldn't really listen to my problems. She just wanted to tell me to do things. I wanted to fire her and told my psychiatrist (med dispenser) so. He defended her. I completely get it!
The trouble with mental illness is you can often only feel terrible - that's the illness part. When you experience random non specific intense dysphoria every day of your life it makes perfect sense to try and solve it, or at least understand it, especially if it's genetic.
@@user-di2gi7tw6qGabor mate is a quack. Makes up his own theories with no peer review, no testing, just his own whims and intuition. Listen to what he says about any mental health issue, then listen to an actual expert pick apart his uninformed drivel.
I’m so grateful to hear this conversation. I went through a clinical depression some years ago over family stuff overwhelming me and generally stuffing my feelings. Dr gave me antidepressants and anxiety meds. I didn’t like feeling “flat” emotionally and basically quit after 4 days. I was determined to get out of my own head and started going to the gym and walking and journaling. Prayer saved my life. I am a baby boomer. Raised my kids to push through. They are doing great. I’m so grateful I did it. I agree that family connections are very important. We have strong connections with our past and know victories our ancestors have been through
One of my favorite quotes is from a Navy SEAL who said, "toughness is putting yourself in an uncomfortable situation until it is no longer uncomfortable. "
I used to have severe depression. Then I turned 28 years old and realized I had wasted over 10 years of my life dwelling on problems and negative things. I had been to therapists, AA meetings, and been on multiple prescriptions. No doctor ever asked me how much sleep I got or gave me any real actionable advice. They just let me talk. And talk. And talk. And my sadness never got better. Then one day I read a famous old saying, “A young man went to an old wise man and said, “Old man, I have 2 dogs who are fighting, which one will win?” The old man said, “The one that you feed.”” This saying taught me that whatever you give your attention to is what you will become. I do not believe therapy or prescription drugs were ever truly helpful for me. Creating goals for myself and getting involved in healthy things is what saved me.
This is basically my exact experience if you change our AA with OA-although I struggled with drinking also… finding meditation and Jordan Peterson’s work also helped me immensely. Attaching myself to another person and other people who were aiming up was huge… having supportive friends and family and cutting out toxic folk (which was basically a byproduct of the work that became self evidently necessary). I am so grateful for this video to help us raise our kids with a little more “tough love” and they get this proverb regularly as my fiancé is Native American and therefore our kids ancestors told this story… continue to tell this story. Continue to live this story… keep feeding the good wolves, friends.
No, the algorithm that the Government controls has ruined the minds of the masses! People REFUSE to see the TRUTH and what’s really going on behind closed doors! The Government won’t tell you I’m Jesus Christ and how the 🕍 tortured my soul!! We live in a simulation! The 🕍 at the “top” of the pyramid aKA “food chain” are 🪳
Millennial here. Been through the bottom of mental illness. I’m over it now and living an amazing life. #1 thing that helps me is waking up and getting tf out of bed early in the morning. Around 7am. Life changing for me.
Some excellent points were made. We have 2 girls in college, and the amount of depression and anxiety among this generation is shocking! Between social media, the weight of the world's issues, financial struggles and job insecurity it's easy to see why. Oh and don't forget social anxiety too.
@@RicoWorldPeace yeah, I actually got up at 5 today. Alarm was for 6:30 but sunrise got me up. 7 I think is reasonable because that means you can kinda wind down around 9pm, chill out, read a book or whatever. 10pm you’re brushing teeth plugging in your phone. Sleep occurs from 11pm-7am. It’s just a little more reasonable since my wife is a little bit of an evening person and I get to spend more time with her. I used to do 3am wake ups because I’d hit the gym before my construction job. That means in bed asleep by 7pm. That was crazy.
I have friends who do therapy and they literally have never gotten any less depressed or anxious, just more pretentious and willing to talk about thier problems 24/7. Thank you for articulating this!!!!
Get out and LIVE!! Why go to a screwed up individual to get advice??? Open your mind to God and Jesus. Go outside and hike, fish, hunt, ski, white water raft, etc! Lift weights and don’t take shit from ANYONE! So it and lose a bit of who you are each time. Fight em willingly knowing you might get hurt or worse with NO fear is AWESOME!!!! Believe me. I KNOW!!! This is the secret sauce. F most people. Get in my shit and find out!!!! Love friends and family and live with NO fear!!!
Hello❤🎉 from Mother Father of all creation our creators are in the physical flesh please phone home today in this special lifetime to heal and live joy! Stop destruction intents
It doesn’t work! I dated a chick for years who was in therapy on and off for large portions of that time. Did she improve her coping mechanisms or conflict resolution skills… NOPE
Therapy works, but just like with drugs, some people misuse them. These friends you are talking about would have used other methods to get attention if therapy isn't the popular thing right now. Therapy didn't make them insufferable, they are insufferable to begin with. Therapy has helped lots of people, especially people who suffers a from abuse, to learn tools to love themselves and skills to cope with life. If Jeffery Dahmer had gotten therapy and psychiatric medicine, he probably wouldn't eat people. He eats people to find a connection, dude doesn't know how to form a bond with people without eating them.
What she says in the end here is the key. There is nothing wrong with feeling *all* emotions, including unpleasant or undesirable ones like anxiety or sadness, etc. All emotions are important and beneficial for different reasons. It's when you try to avoid or suppress these emotions when problems and disorders start to happen. For some reason we've come to believe that if you feel bad once in a while and aren't happy all the time then there is something wrong with you. And that couldn't be further from the truth. You can't have joy without sadness, just like there is no light without darkness. That is how it works. Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.
We can't come unless you give your name! What you say I utterly agree with though the key is how we "frame" this. It is the endless mental chatter that we identify with that feeds identification with the so-called negative emotions. In truth it is quite possible we have learnt to think of many of these as negative when they're actually just energy. The trick is watching thoughts and seeing they are NOT who we are. They are for the most part habitual conditioning. But would love to watch your talk if you say who you are or send a link. Take care
I’m a millennial. I grew up dealing with horrible anxiety. Frequent panic attacks. Saw therapists and was put on medication. Wasn’t until around five years ago when I discovered Jocko Willink, and shortly after, Stoicism, that finally things started to turn for me. I am more resilient and calmer than I’ve ever been. Stoicism gave me a completely new framework to approach life. While I’ve made a lot of progress, I’m not perfect, but I am making more progress than ever every day.
Lack of gratitude and accountability seems to be a large cause of peoples problems. When I started being grateful for the smallest things my perception changed from focusing on everything thats wrong onto all the beautiful things in life. It's all there for you to see but you have to choose to see it. Feed the beast of anger/anxiety or feed beauty and gratitude, your choice. Sometimes its hard but the alternative is harder.
Good quote I heard from using the Waking Up app: "There's millions of people in the world who would literally kill to only have your problems" Think it applies to 99% of people in America for sure
@@InspiredByReason Thats a mater of perception. Be grateful for the little things first. You got all your fingers and toes, your health, food. Ive been deathly sick, you don't realize how much you take health for granted until you don't have it.Start small.
My grandmother used to always say “Stop complaining and do something about it”. She was bipolar and raised 6 kids and was hospitalized a few times. She struggled with mental illness but also knew you had to live your life and not wallow in the pain! I also have mood/panic disorder and I lived a full life, career, marriage, children. I had a few episodes where I had to stop and get help, but came back from the setback and kept going!
The Myth of Mental Illness is a great book, back then it was simple "struggle or die." Today western culture will provide all you need to self destruct (affirmation, medication, payment from the state etc.) since there's no drive to struggle.
Imagine if you had really bad tooth pain that was all awareness-consuming and were expected to not talk to anyone about it. How would you feel about that?
The mind can play tricks on you. It is self destructive to think that you are not supposed to go through life without pain, hurdles, obstacles and difficulties. That's part of being a human being. So being told to get on with it is something that can sometimes be the answer you need to hear and not the thing you want to hear. The tooth pain is coming from a specific place and therefore you can do something about it. @@ckoperni
The best two things my therapist would say to me: 1. "My job is to give you the tools so you don't need me. We're trying to work me out of a job." 2. At the end of a session where she felt I was fine, she'd say, "Let's not book anything until you think you really need me." Sometimes that was weeks or months or years. Therapy is great when you need it. But you should be building a skillset with the therapist's support that eventually makes them irrelevant.
I have schizoaffective (combo of schizophrenia and bipolar) im 24 now and havent had an episode in 3 years due to sticking to treatment, the right meds, resilience and focusing on self care like journalling. If you want to get better sometimes falling on your face hard helps you realise like fck i need to do better and be better. My second psychosis 3 yrs ago came about because i stopped medication and thought i was healthy again. My ex ended things during my last psychosis and it hurt me so much because i realised i lost him and i lost myself in not treating my illness seriously and accpting that. It was a growth oppurtunity i see now and a huge life lesson.
I have schizophrenia. My last episode was when Ukraine war started. I live in Russia. So it was stressful. I stopped my medication and I am still ok. As soon as I understand sometimes it torments you for years and then as mysteriously as it appeared it just as mysteriously disappears. I wish you never experience another episode.
I have a son with autism and a younger daughter. My daughter told me she had ADHD when she was 14. Self diagnosed lol. I knew she was fine. Just human. We had already gone through the steps of diagnosing my son with ADHD years before this, which took years. Literally. I entertained my daughter with a trip to a therapist thinking the therapist would tell her she was fine. I sat in a waiting room for 45 minutes and the therapist came to me and said she definitely had ADHD and they would hook her up with drugs right away (without talking to anyone but my daughter). Mind you, my son had MOUNTAINS of questionnaires that had to be filled out by any adult that had contact with him to be diagnosed with this just 6 years earlier. That's when I realized NO therapist is going to tell you that you're ok. That destroys their customer base. This is why every part of being human is now a "condition". They have made an industry out of feelings.
@@Andrewoo99ADHD is not real. Describe to me a single shared trait between those with “ADHD”. Not shared behaviors. Not shared thought processes. A gene, a bio marker, a brain structure. You can’t because no sure shared trait exists. ADHD is medicalization of a personality type. If you know anything about evolution by natural selection you can clearly see how advantageous the so-called “disorder” would have been in our evolutionary environment.
My mom has always been the only person to say I don't have ADHD in a sea of people telling me I do have ADHD. I feel like I wasted years believing I did and it made my focus worse instead of working to improve it. I had the perfect excuse to be lazy with my attention and speech. I'm working on it now and it's slow and a conscious effort but I believe it's working. Being deficient in crucial vitamins and minerals have contributed to it as well so I'm doing that in tandem. Maybe hard to pinpoint which is helping more, but I do feel it's both.
Gabor Mate mentioned in a video, that a study showed that during wartime depression goes away. There is a sense of purpose, helping others and survival that overtakes ruminating. This has stuck with me.
I’ve heard that too, also when your mind is on higher “hierarchy of needs “ type situations when you have more stress and things to do your mind doesn’t have time to think exhaustively about your feelings, it’s too busy with survival and getting by
As a nineties kid, we went to school full time and had jobs at 13-14 years old so we could get a car, save money for the future or help our parents out. But we were outside more in nature, had real human connections and contacts and more importantly we didn’t have social media. Social media, in my humble opinion, is a major factor for these issues.
That's true but people work full time and can't afford basic necessities. Kids see the "grown ups" struggle because the economy is bad and wages are low. All I'm saying is it's different now, in tje 90s we could get a bs job and afford to buy and do stuff. These kids today? They get called lazy because they won't work a sht job for sht pay smh
It can be but also it's hard to explain to the older generations how them having to work and stuff at 13-14 years old is actually a major route cause of a lot of their trauma that they don't understand. That was so wrong that you all had to do that even if the outcome is perceived as great because in reality you weren't allowed to be a kid you were stripped of it early.
@@christjosh8853I worked at 13 and I still had a childhood. I only worked on the weekends 5 hours a day. I liked the idea earning money and owned at beater car when I hit 16 .
@@christjosh8853what?? We wanted to work and make money to buy vehicles and other stuff our parents couldn’t afford for us. Over I know in the 90’s at school tried get their driving permit at 15 so they had enough time under their belt to get their DL at 16. It was great. We taught to not be victims and take responsibility for our actions and also to be respectful. Can’t say the same for gen z.
A couple thoughts: 1. Resilience is an invaluable life skill that is so underrated. The only way you develop resilience is by experiencing failure and disappointment, and then coming out of it ok, or likely even better than you were before. You gain confidence knowing that you can do hard things, and experience difficulties and get through them. I see so many young people who haven’t developed resilience because instead of persevering and doing the hard thing, they just don’t even try. 2. Her point about depression being motivating… Wow did that hit home for me. For context I’m 48 and I’m currently experiencing a health issue that I’m determined to beat. For over 2 years I’ve done 2 different jobs at work. The 2nd job I was basically tricked into doing and didn’t have the spine to say “I’m not doing the work of 2 people” - until recently. I grew a pair and told my boss I’d do the 2nd job 2 days a week until they find somebody else, but long term, I’m not going to do it anymore. If I hadn’t had this health issue come up I never would’ve been motivated to stand up for myself and do something I should’ve done 2 years ago. 3. Ok one more thing. This is my experience with people who are in therapy…. I’ve found when people have had a lot of therapy, they tend to get very self absorbed and they don’t take responsibility for their own actions. They could be 60 years old and still blame their childhood when they behave badly. They absolutely refuse to apologize even when they’ve wronged someone and see themselves as the perpetual victim, which only adds to their problems. Being able to take responsibility for one’s own actions and know that you HAVE CONTROL because you’re not just a product of “trauma”, is very empowering and good for people. But a therapist who is sitting across from the person who’ll pay for their next vacation, won’t tell people that.
I was 10 years old when I lived through the Cuban Missile Crisis in 1962. For a kid of that era it was a relatively brief period of great traumatic stress that had a beginning, middle and an end in an otherwise "free range" childhood. As a retired therapist when I try to understand Gen-Z - I can't help but contrast their childhood to mine. This generation grew up with the "chronic traumatic stress" of a sort of "non-stop Cuban Missile Crisis" - with the supposed "adults in the room" constantly scaring the hell of them. For two+ decades the mantra has been - "there could be another terrorist attack at any time anywhere," "Orange Alert," "Red Alert," "if you see something - say something," "climate change is going to kill us all," "we only have five more years to save the planet or we're doomed," "covid will kill us all - or if not, the next pandemic will," and endless variations on the theme of imminent apocalypse. In other words this generation has grown up contending with a sort of chronic unresolvable fear response - in reaction to things "they are powerless to control" - all because of endless bat-shit crazy government propaganda operations aimed at controlling the minds of we adults. Perhaps these kids mental health has ended up as another form of - "collateral damage" - as the psychopaths in charge like to refer to it. We are watching these same kids now retreat into the fantasy world of "gender- ideology," and 'trigger warnings," and "canceling speakers they disagree with," and claiming that - "words can be violence." Maybe there is more to be unpacked in understanding "why" they can interpret "language" to be "violence." Maybe telling kids for two straight decades that the planet's going to be uninhabitable next year - "IS IN FACT "WORDS" - AS VIOLENCE." Just a thought.
The other form of fear is school shootings. My kids are growing up with active shooter response drills during school. I can’t imagine what that does to your psyche.
@@anybodyoutthere3208CME is a legitimate threat to electronics and the power grid, especially since we’re approaching the solar maximum, and scientists expect it to last longer than usual
Hi Gary, I was trying to find my thoughts on why I disagreed with this speaker and I think you summed it up. I do agree with some things she said, like wallowing in our pains and that those tough emotions becoming a catalyst for something great. But sometimes I get upset because gen z is looked at as losers/kids who need to get their shit together but it does feel like we are just a product of our environment. Not to mention, we grew up in the boom of electronics and social media that greatly impacted us. I want others to realize that we are great kids, we are just lacking our sense of security and safety. Sincerely Lily (born ‘98)
Nervousness has been replaced with anxiety, sadness with depression, bad memories with PTSD, concentration with hyper focus, quirky with autistic, particularity with OCD. Basically what has happened is all aspects with everyone's personalities suddenly evolved into mental health buzzwords pushed along by tiktok and aided by better help. I can have a change in mood or a reaction to something without needing to psycho analyze myself and that's something everybody needs to relearn.
But what if you actually have autism? These mfs who fake ruin it for people who actually have it, I've felt different from anyone ever since I was toddler, it's some innate thing in me, different from you gen x
I think this is so true. I remember a few years ago I used to be extremely anxious about my appearance and my loneliness, I went to counseling at my school and did all these paper work and reflection about why I feel the way I did, but I still felt like shit. It wasn't until I just got tired of feeling like that and , stopped going, stopped thinking so much about my anxieties, and started doing things I enjoy, that I finally stopped feeling miserable. Now I'm sure my problems are not solved and deep inside they are still present, but I think that stopping thinking about them and find them a meaning ( as I used to do) is a step in the right direction
Something that helped me is forgetting my weaknesses avoiding my weaknesses pretending. They didn't exist and purposely walking around them mentally spiritually. However I needed to so I could always stay on the path of my strength. never forget to fake it until you make it.
Correct. My twin killed himself. I went to therapy afterward but soon realized it was not helping at all, and it cost $230 a session. Talking about your feelings can help but not to someone who is getting paid to listen. We need to find someone who wants to listen. That's the key.
@@CB13212 just force yourself to do something everyday or every other day. A short walk. Put on a good upbeat (ish) song and sing to it. Every day. Just one thing. Then add another and another at as fast or slow pace as you can't. Anything to stop yourself from ruminating on negatives and how bad you feel. It's like reprogramming the thoughts in your head. Sorry I'm rubbish at explaining myself but I hope you got it. Wish you well.
My biggest realization in therapy was that after I had gotten my initial feelings and emotions out, my sessions became me knowing how to fix my problems but talking to my therapist like I didn’t because I wanted someone else to fix them or something random to happen. I got better once I took action and helped myself. Talking helps but it only goes so far. If you have the answer to your problem, even if it’s scary you have to push through
Something that has been coming up a lot in my life lately is the idea that it is better to serve than be selfish. Serving others moves your attention off of yourself and gives you the chance to become happy by making others happy.
I agree and I think this is an important realization that would help a lot of people. Many are obsessed with figuring out how to improve themselves so much that they never have any problems or ever feel bad. Self actualization is like a religion at this point, but fundamentally it is corrupt-- focusing on yourself so much will lead to anxiety around how you are perceived, if you're good enough, etc. We have to get outside of ourselves and ask, what can I do for others? And whatever the answer to that question is will bring you more purpose and fulfillment than anything you can do for yourself.
@@angelzarate7884 you are ultimately responsible for your own well-being, and serving someone at your own expense is not healthy. you are totally allowed to set boundaries to protect yourself from people who would manipulate you.
and as social creatures that is inherently good for us, being on AA showed that to me, as im a person who truly enjoy's my solitude time when im helping people around me.
I am a Kindergarten teacher (26 years) and I can vouch for the extreme change in children over the last 10 years. Joe’s guest is spot on in regards to all the “focusing on your emotions”… the programs focused on making sure children felt they were in a “safe space and to express feelings.” Feelings which my little friends did not even understand- horrible program. “Safe space” insinuates there is danger around you - focusing on creating fake negative feelings caused massive issues which did not even exist, prior to this “program.”
Do you have a large portion of minority children in your classes? They do tend to have more trauma in their lives? And more pedophilia is being exposed as of late.
Bingo 🎯 The safe spaces and talking about emotions is not a good thing. If you want to talk emotions why don't the parents try to get writing class to do a free journaling thing for like 10 minutes.
feminism has been an absolute disaster. people don't see the connection between letting women into power and the sudden thrust towards everything needing to be about safety and emotions. These are fine when they left to the private sphere of family where women ruled but now they have been promoted at a much larger level throughout society and our social institutions as more and more women enter into these spheres. Men need to assert some authority otherwise this will end badly for our society.
It's a big problem in the trades. We get these young kids and they are not following instructions properly, even after having them repeat what you want done. So later on when you ask them what happened and why didn't they follow the instructions they were given, they get offended and quiet. I have to stay on them in order to change them. They have to get used to being held responsible for their actions.
I’m a therapist and one of the first things I always recommend is exercise, eating healthier and getting OUT of your head and into the world. Any good therapist should know this stuff.
My son battled cancer twice and the attitude we had as a family made it to where we all came out stronger/more resilient. Yes there are moments of anxiety especially when he gets sick, but as the years pass it gets easier to deal with. It makes me proud to see my kiddos with such strong characters that know they are well loved and with a support system internally and externally that will help them get through any difficult situation.
Abigail Shreir is awesome. So glad to see someone calling out the mental health industry. I believe they've adopted the big pharma model of "treat forever, never cure" they've also driven the idea that everyone has trama and everyone needs therapy.
She’s also only seems to be talking about college students. That self selects for mostly girls, and upper class kids. I’m working class, my family is working class, our kids are much different than the kids that go to my kids school. They’re not allowed to go outside and hangout. They’re 13 and can’t go outside and hang out.
I was managing a designer clothing department at Nordstrom two years ago which had a lot of Gen Z employees. This particular department was special because it was an invite only department because of the specialized knowledge you needed to sell the clothing, and the potential for way higher commission earnings. One day, my only employee scheduled for the day (23 year old gen z guy) said he didn’t wanna be there and he needed a mental health day. I asked him, “what would you do if you go home right now?” And he said he would lay down and watch a movie. I told him that there is NO difference in being at work vs watching a movie, so he might as well stay at work and get paid and also that he was my only employee that day and we needed him. He reluctantly stayed. By the end of the day he came up to me and said he had his best sales day of his career (he sold over $9k in clothes which is about a $900 commission for one day of work) and he was so happy. I looked at him and said, “yeah bro, imagine if I let you go home and waste your whole day feeling bad about nothing.” And he just laughed and said yeah. Anyways, the point of this story is stuff like this happened EVERY WEEK, and I managed almost 30 people!! Gen Z was super hard to deal with (and I’m technically a Zillenial, born late 1995 so not quite a millennial and not quite Gen Z).
Its well known that Gen Z is very soft and weak minded. Mental illness is sky high among Gen Z especially if they lean politically liberal according to polls that have been taken.
Gen Z kids have also been coddled too much. For example when Trump won the presidency in 2016 some universities were offering emotional support to students. WTF! I've heard of universities also doing this when certain speakers come on campus. Safe spaces. They treat these young adults like babies.
I want and they just kept asking how does that make you feel to everything I said. While looking at the clock very obviously just waiting for the hour to be over so they can go home. 😂😂😂
I think she's right about the rumination thing. In recent years I've come to realize that I actually don't need or even want to know the whys of every problem I have. I don't need to dig into every trauma and every negative thought I've ever had. I just need to overcome the problems.
I went to a therapist from late 2020 - late 2022.Probably round 20 sessions.I had become increasingly depressed and hopeless in life and was having constant suicidal thoughts.She really helped me as she gave me some strategies and plans for dealing with my depression and anxiety and helped my structure my life better.It's the best decision I ever made but most of what she told me was basic common sense and good old fashioned advice, not some wonder cure.I think that is generally what good therapy can be just helping the person help themselves to live a better life.
@Kittyscraftcorner-ud6ijthere are a lot of reasons for this. We have more broken families that don’t talk anymore, often families members live far apart sometimes even on different continents, often older relatives also can’t understand the more „modern“ problems of younger people (talking about generational conflicts) and so on. I don’t think that a going back to what is was is going to be easy bc the world is just drastically different. And maybe „common sense therapists“ are the solution for that.
Therapy is the best thing I’ve ever done. It has saved my life and because of it I have grown tremendously. I have Bipolar II disorder, high-functioning autism, and ADD, and I will probably be in it most, if not all, of my life. I’d have to disagree that it is common sense, not even disagree. It's more of a fact. If you have a good therapist, they will challenge you and make you think in ways you’ve never thought before. They will give you psychoeducation on trauma, relationships, and mental illness. If you look at our parent's generation (Gen X and above), you’ll see none of this is common sense. I am 28, and I am around people my age who don’t know what a healthy relationship is or are blind to the fact that they are repeating their childhood trauma. I am very self-educated in psychology through years of my reading and therapy. It’s wild this author is just here talking to talk without knowing anything about therapy, how it works, trauma, or psychology. She’s just spewing nonsense. I can name tons of books from Ph. D.s and psychologists with master's degrees that I’ve read. There’s a reason therapists need master's degrees and Ph. D.s. It isn’t all just common sense. They have fMRIs that essentially prove that therapy changes the brain. It rewires our neural pathways. People spend their lives studying this, and there is a reason they are called professionals.
@Kittyscraftcorner-ud6ijI don't go to therapy, but the obvious reason why family isn't good for this is because of conflict of interests. Normal people also haven't been trained like therapists. It's effectively a crap shoot for advice. Family members also have emotions and egos that can be hurt
Read the _Tao Te Ching._ "Regarding muddy water: the more you try to stir the dirt out of it, the murkier it gets... leave it alone, and the dirt will settle out by itself."
Even better read the bible, the word of God, not just of man. 2 Timothy 1:7: For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control. Psalm 55:22: Cast your burden on the Lord, and he will sustain you; he will never permit the righteous to be moved. Philippians 4:6: Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. Hebrews 13:6: So we can confidently say, “The Lord is my helper; I will not fear; what can man do to me?” Joshua 1:9: Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” Matthew 6:34: “Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.
I remember when I got back from the psych ward after an unalive attempt when I was younger. I had undiagnosed bipolar depression and was just starting treatment. My family asked me what they could do to help me, and I told them straight up, act like nothing is wrong. Don't treat me like I'm sick. Please, just treat me like everything is normal. If things around me feel normal, I feel better. If I'm having depressive thoughts, I'll talk to the therapist who helps me through them. I'll talk to my psychiatrist about changing up meds. But from my family, from my environment, I want stability and positivity. If everyone around me is constantly asking me if everything is okay and do I feel good today? I'm going to be thinking about why everything is _not_ okay all the time. Treating me like I'm depressed made me more depressed. I needed support and love, but not coddling. A hug and a "You'll be okay" goes a long way.
@@hittman1412 Unalive refers to an action someone takes that results in someone no longer being alive. In my context, it means I tried to do something that would have resulted in me no longer being alive. It's a word that has to be used on a lot of platforms because the actual word for it has been deemed too violent by places like tiktok and youtube, and comments mentioning it get censored or videos with it get demonetized. It's not people trying to censor because they want to be sensitive, it's because dumb social media companies think saying certain non-curse words are "too obscene" for kids to read. So if I said like, person A unalived person B, I'm saying that person A did something that resulted in person B no longer being alive, because using the actual word, "Person A m*rdered person B" would get censored on numerous platforms.
This is something that my lady and i have talked about. The difference of how we were raised and how it has effected how we handle emotions and stress. She's asked me "when the world is crumbling and burning around you, or you feel like you're in complete darkness, how do you get up and go to work and get stuff done? Or do you not feel these things that deep?" She had been raised in a very codependent household with people who have a lot of trouble controlling their emotions. I was raised in a more independent household. A father that buried most of his emotions (other than anger) and a mother who held it together when times were tough. And i tell her "Because the way i was raised, and the life that.i have lived, i constantly plan for worst case scenarios. I live by worst case scenarios. That's why when that moment hits, I rarely freeze up. Because my mind has already prepared for it, and has the next step ready to keep going."
Years ago, my aunt lost her husband to Alzheimer's. It was a slow and agonizing death. Towards the end she had to put curtains up in the living room because he would see his reflection in the glass sliding doors at night and either try to talk to "that man" or be so scared "he was after him". Years later, after I had been married for a while, I began to have a deeper understanding of how hard that had to have been, and the weight of that hit me so hard I cried (and I don't cry). I see her about once a year at Thanksgiving, so the next Thanksgiving I went up to her and said how much respect I had for her going through that - she stuck with him to the very end. Her response to me was simple. She said, "I come from a tough family, and that's just what we do." She's a child of the Greatest Generation - an actual Boomer. We have a lot to learn from previous generations, and I'm inspired and thankful to call her "family."
I miss my strong and wise grandma who just passed❤️ I learned so much from her which I hope to pass down to my future family someday. I genuinely believe it was a greater generation of stronger folks. We can deff learn something!
@@a1islamovic It *definitely* was "a greater generation of stronger folks." My dad grew up in the 1930s; he was an old man by the time I was born. When I think about how he raised me, and what he taught me, and compare it to my friends' parents, who were generally born in the late 50s or early 60s...I was very lucky.
The "greatest generation" was the WWI survivors. My parents were the "Silent Generation" and I'm an old boomer. I wouldn't say boomers were great. But they did figure out when relatively young what the "Establishment" was up to and did what they could to neutralize them.
The "greatest generation" because they supported mass murder that didn't need to happen and "supported the government" which now spies on us all steals our wealth and has murdered millions to profit the weapons companies and the banks. See the brainwash there??
This was a strange propaganda piece. In written history, this cliche of the youth just not being what the last generation was, first appeared in written history when ancient Greece was the big deal. Rome hadn't even happened yet.
As a 30 year old millenial, I’m glad these types of conversations are finally becoming mainstream. My generation has been dealing with this since our 20’s because of the rise of modern predatory social media since 2012 when apps like Facebook and Instagram really started to take off and attract constant social media addiction use within my generation.
To be fair, it’s more difficult now to “get out of your house and accomplish something”, because accomplishing something usually costs money or relies on the cooperation of other people. Wages have stagnated, degree requirements have inflated, and it’s harder to meet people because everything can be done online.
As if you can't accomplish anything inside your house? Where you're less likely to run into a psychopath or pick up a pathogen. What is it that you want accomplished?
The part she said after 13:20 regarding "we need to make a change" was me in 2016. I had a major mental breakdown and depressive episode and what got me out of it was essentially writing down a plan of where I wanted my life to go. 8 years later and my life is infinitely better because of this decision.
I feel you. It was 1991 for me. Seems forever ago, but that's just the point. I was crippled by depression. Diagnosed myself after so doing a ton of research (old school - no internet) to figure out what was wrong with me. I did get help from a couple of counselors, one who wanted to put me on medication, but I refused. Made him so mad, but I could already see the light at the end of the tunnel and didn't want to risk messing that up. Over the years, I've had setbacks, dealt with things much harder than what I was dealing with then. The difference is that I had no skills then to deal with them, but now I do, and with every new thing I face, they expand. I am so grateful I didn't take any shortcuts. I'm so grateful I fought my way free from depression in those young years instead of looking to someone else for the solution. I hope you are encouraged by my testimony, not that you need it. You're doing great.
Good for you. As an old woman, I can tell you, you'll go places in life. Taking the initiative to make a plan for your life - an important skill. Proud of you!
I feel everyone should have a 5-10-15-25 yr plan even if it’s bullshit i had an outline of what I wanted to accomplish long term and @ 54 today Hit my goals prematurely W o the plan.. i feel I would have strayed
Yes. Too many people are stuck focusing on the problem when the solution is what they need. A good therapist will guide in that direction. But there is an epidemic of bad therapists and patients don’t know how to determine the quality of care they’re receiving.( tip: you should feel validated and supported, like things finally make sense. You should be getting moments of clarity and tools for handling life more effectively. 3 sessions without having these feelings? Try a different therapist. You should feel you have an insightful ally to guide you through. That is their job. )
I’m 23, I’ve lost friends, family, hell I’ve even had to hold my friend in my arms and give him cpr to bring him back. It’s hard to say and do, but you gotta just think of everything as character building and a learning moment about yourself. Then you move on to the next part of life. Life always moves forward, you gotta make sure you’re moving with it❤
Man, that’s wild bro. I think the tougher you get over things the more equipped you are to help someone else who’s overcome great adversity or trials. Unfortunately, and it’s the hardest thing to do but watching someone go thru hell but you can only help by support.
Therapist here. Good therapists want clients to feel better, but they want them to utilize their own coping skills and support networks rather than build emotional dependence on a therapist. I regularly ask kids in my office questions like “how will we know when treatment is successful?” If the answer is “when my anxiety and depression goes down to zero” then we have a whole other topic to discuss on the wisdom of emotions- excitement and sadness included- and building resilience in the face of stressors.
There are good therapists and approaches out there that focus on resilience. Unfortunately like many fields, we also have our fair share of malpractice and bad therapists working in the field. It’s so hard to find the good ones because people don’t want to be trying different therapists until one clicks for them. As a therapist, the first conversation with a client should touch the topic of “ok this is not a service for the rest of your life, what do we need to do to get you to graduate these services and no longer need me”
Then stop providing "therapy". If you're a social worker or masters level therapist, you do more harm than good while not keeping abreast of clinical literature. Social workers have the lowest iqs of any college major. Self serving justice warrior.
I'm glad someone is speaking about this issue. Anxiety is a baseline emotion. The four base emotions are happy, sad, afraid, and angry. Anxiety is a nuanced version of afraid. Depression is a nuanced version of sad. An anxiety or depressive disorder is when it is pervasive without a logical trigger. Most of the time people are depressed and anxious for a reason. The over-use of these terms as disorders drives me wild. You're supposed to feel depressed after abandonment. You're supposed to feel anxious towards the unknown. Those aren't examples of disordered thinking.
1st world people so detached from nature and anything natural, to the point that human emotion is foreign to them, and hard to describe. Animals have anxiety because it keeps them alive, animals without anxiety get into situations that kill them, or when they are to afraid they miss out on situations that will develop them, like public speaking.
I dated a woman with severe anxiety disorder and she hated how comfortable people bring up anxiety in small situations. Slight emotional distress isn’t anxiety. And we naturalize feeling any type of negative emotion is bad. It is part oh human nature to feel things; in both spectrums.
You know there are criteria for diagnosing depression and they are not just feeling sad right?? right??? Or you are just expressing an opinion on a very spesific matter that you have no idea about?
@@ffcrazy Yes, I do know that. A mood disorder is classified as persistent low or high mood that lasts for over two weeks without any known cause. Most people are depressed and anxious because they are under extreme stress and do not realize or address it. That is not disordered thinking. That is the body using it's natural stress response (fight, flight, or freeze). In most cases, extreme moods balance over time after making lifestyle changes. With disordered thinking, no amount of lifestyle change can help without medical intervention. A common example is SSRI medication intervention with depressive disorders. A depressive brain makes serotonin, but does not hold onto it for very long. Someone with a true depressive disorder can exercise, eat a great diet, socialize, get sunlight, etc... but none of it will matter because all of the feel good chemicals get thrown out immediately. Taking an SSRI locks the escape door so that serotonin can linger long enough to have an effect. SSRIs do not create serotonin on their own and are only effective with a healthy lifestyle. That's a big reason why those medications do not work for many patients-- they are not making lifestyle adjustments to create enough serotonin in the first place.
First and last time I went to therapy, it was a group therapy for adults struggling with ADHD. I went in thinking it was going to be about learning and came out realizing it was for people to talk about themselves and the therapist to offer condolences, exactly as stated in this interview. And now I realize I wouldn't have overcome so many challenges if I was offered an excuse earlier in life to get out of hard work.
Group therapy is about interpersonal learning and attachment repair. If you find yourself hating it and being woefully independent, that’s likely your interpersonal strategy that both helps you and generates a lot of your problems
@@Summonick2 I'm not an introspective person, so I can't tell you if I agree or disagree. I think it was just a bad therapy environment. The therapist rubbed me the wrong way when she took what I said as a pity statement since that was mostly what was going on. Also the main topic of discussion was anxiety and depression, which I don't struggle with. The only helpful thing anyone said was a woman describing her positive experience with Ritalin. I have no problem empathizing with people, it just felt like I was at the wrong meeting. So if this is just how therapy is, I don't think it's beneficial to me.
I had horrific postpartum depression (several factors were involved) and antidepressants were the first suggestion my obgyn went with. I didn’t take them because I wanted to actually work on the factors I knew were contributing to it. Things were awful and my relationship with my husband struggled a LOT. But it forced us to figure out what needed to change and how to make things work. I don’t regret not taking them (and our baby is healthy and happy)!
I spent damn near 30 years bottling my emotions. not into drugs, but i would always find something to erase how i feel. tried therapy a couple times. they really just annoy me after a while bc they all never understood that i am always going to feel this way. that dark stain is always going to be there. No matter what. but yet here i am still making it happen. shouts to yall for not giving up. love yall.
Do they have to understand you? My understanding of therapy is that they were supposed to help guide you out of that thing they diagnosed you for. Therapy is not a place for you to be understood or to seek inspirational wisdom
Dude I know exactly what you are talking about. The feeling that darkness is the fundamental core of your being. It would come up for me especially when high on marijuana or mushrooms. Not the feeling that I was filthy but that I WAS filth and darkness itself in my very being. It was washed away in baptism. That feeling is gone. Life is still hard but I have found a peace I could not have believed.
@chadpilled7913 thank you for sharing. I smoked herb for ½ my life. I can relate to how you describe it. I also was raised to "be a man", "shake it off and keep going", all that bullshit. I have a 8yr old son now and I protect his light/innocence bc nobody protected mine. It's strange dealing with generational trauma. but look at us. we're still here. love you brother. be safe.
Social Worker here. Something that gets forgotten is that distress isn’t the only measurement upon which therapy/counseling should be decided. Diagnoses are determined not just by symptoms but the impact of those symptoms on a person’s functioning. Bad memories and bad feelings are just that. Anxiety when passing your old middle school is not fun, but so what? Now if any of those bad memories or reactions significantly adversely affect your behavior or quality of life - for instance driving a mile out of your way on your daily commute to avoid passing your old school, or frequent nightmares, or panic attacks, or becoming physically violent with your spouse or child - then seeking professional help is something worth considering.
But what if the traumatic event isn't all that bad, and because people pushed the idea that it *is* when it wasn't, it created a horrifically false representation of a symptom that was no worse than breaking a toe? That's to say, what if someone was being convinced that their ant hill was indeed a mountain? THIS is the discussion being had. The latter seems to be on the rise.
@@AlexBizzar social media (as I assume you’re referring to by “people pushing the idea”) can’t just convince you into having a mental illness though. Now, life comparison as a result of social media can have an impact on your own perceived successes/failures which may yield a negative outcome. But I don’t think that the internet alone is gonna be the sole factor of someone experiencing severe, debilitating symptoms. Also take into the fact that in cases that severe, symptoms had likely been occurring since childhood, but obviously diagnosis and mental health awareness was significantly different than what it is now.
I am a millennial. I grew up poor, my parents had a horrible abusive marriage. My dad remarried a crackhead that mentally abused me. My mom struggled with alcohol. I struggled with alcohol & drugs my teenage years. I always felt there was a light at the end of the tunnel. I moved out of state and made some positive changes. Then, my mom was killed by a drunk driver when I was 23. My grandparents who helped raise me died of broken hearts not long after that. Life is hard. We rarely get through life without struggles and hardships. There have been some really dark moments in my life but I don’t let these moments define me. I don’t live my life looking through the lens of all the “trauma” I faced. I am almost 33 years old, I am in a healthy happy marriage. I do not struggle with a single “mental health issue”. I feel grateful for my life everyday. I am happy
That's how my life was. Traumatic childhood. Sexual abuse,foster homes, alcoholism. Went to college became a nurse. You can change your life. We all have choices.Im thankful everyday I'm alive.
As a child, at the age of ten I had bad anxiety and depression because of bad situations in my home. It was all gone when I found a bible and began reading and believing in it. My heart was filled with love for everyone and I had hope because of Jesus. Many years later I got anxiety and depression and postpartum and I fought it back with exercise, sleeping, healthy eating, prayer and drinking plenty of water. If any of those was out of wack I felt the symptoms. Eventually my hormones regulated and I got more sleep.
I am 63. I started having panic attacks when my kids were young. I saw it as satan trying to steal my life and I started talking myself down from them realizing they never killed me just made me feel like a fool. After a couple of years I would get anxious about something and just laugh to myself it had no control over me it was all in my head!! Anyone can do that. I felt bad for all the young people who ran straight to the doctor for strong medication. You have to start somewhere learning how to cope. PS Jesus/God is good!
I’m a firm believer that isolation and technology contribute the most to anxiety. Seems to me when times were simpler (no phones, tablets etc.) equaled less stress. I could be wrong. Just my opinion.
It's neither the technology nor the isolation. It's the ongoing culture wars established by democrats to turn all of western civilization into a crime-ridden Venezuela via third world immigration. Generation Z is being raised to hate white people and their own country. They are messed up because no one should be hating their own culture.
I’m 42 with a 22 yr old son and I finally have gotten him to realize that this terrible situation will be a distant memory in a short time. Every day is new and if you move forward every day you will learn to live with your issues.
Well, not dealing with situations, especially if they are traumatic is not healthy. You can bury it all you want, but it will follow you. Time isn't the only consideration in the equation.
@@vladimirofsvalbard9477 Okay then how would you recommend dealing with it? My brother recently went behind my back and lied to others. Long story short, he has a history of racism. He became a democrat a couple years ago and became VERY anti racism, while still being a racist. His coping mechanism has been to accuse others of being racist. He and I had a bit of a falling out where I told him he needed to stop lying to other people saying that mutual friends had said things they never said; it doesn’t help him overcome the racist things he has said and done. He then turned around and started telling our mutual friends I called someone the n word… which is absolutely not true. I talked to him about it, he denied it. Then I proved I knew and he had a panic attack and said he had to talk to his therapist about it. We tried talking again weeks later and he refused to acknowledge our previous conversations. There’s only two options I have now. I can forgive him and move on, or I can cut him out of my life altogether. Take a guess what a therapist told me I should do lol
Hello❤🎉 from Mother Father of all creation our creators are in the physical flesh please phone home today in this special lifetime to heal and live joy! Stop destruction intents
Take it with a grain of salt, but in my experience, the problem with this kind of advice is that it sounds too cliche and too far outside the experiential capacity of kids to register with them. Kids don't live on the same timeline as adults, talking about how something won't affect them in the future is like telling them that they need to save for retirement, it doesn't matter to them because they don't live in the future yet. You have to speak to their current moment, because that's where they live, in the moment. Kids have to be motivated to do something right now, often times even pressured beyond their comfort levels. You have to be real, speak to their current situation and not some generalized "We all go through this and come out better at some indeterminate point in the future" kind of reassurance. Again, just my experience.
It's like telling your son to live with a broken arm instead of getting it looked at by a professional. Animals do that, live with their injuries and suffer. Some don't heal very well and they die early. Humans live long because we have doctors. We have doctors for issues including trauma. Move with the times, dude.
Gen Z's fear of failure is a response to a society that increasingly does not allow for failure. We live in a super-optimized culture where every second has to be productive or else you're falling behind. Screwing up at a single choice in your life even as a kid could mean a severe change in the trajectory of your life. Going to jail once could prevent your admission into college; getting fired could leave you completely homeless; choosing the wrong major could leave you in thousands of dollars in debt with very little to show for it. Our society is extremely competitive and increasingly, a huge number of people are competing for a dwindling supply. Back in the day it was easy to fail because there were more systems of support to fall back on and plenty of options for meaningful employment with possibilities of promotion. Those same opportunities are much more rare these days, and kids know this, so they have to play their cards extremely close to their chest and never, ever, make a mistake.
Can you give some examples of the support systems that don't exist today that previous generations had, or employment opportunities that don't exist anymore?
Society does not not provide the opportunities for success either. You can do everything right and proper, and it's still not enough. I don't think there's anything wrong with the kids. They are just reflecting the state of society at large, and it is society that is ill.
@@shrunkensimonagreed. I think it’s a case of garbage in, garbage out. Society is sick (dying, really), the people entering it are fully aware and it doesn’t sit well with them. No wonder they’re anxious!
I realized everything she said after 4 or 5 sessions I had in 2010 for grief. First and last attempt at therapy. Wonder if it will ever change. That's why the exceptional ones like Jordan Peterson stand out.
Therapy isn't always about reminiscing on negative thoughts and working through old trauma. Therapy for me has been a way to learn ways to break the cycle of those constant negative thoughts and emotions, and to have tools to navigate through life's challenges. I've had therapists tell me they weren't there just to be someone to vent to and those were the best therapists I have worked with.
The people in these comments tell on themselves right away. They’re anti therapy. One of the above comments said it best, “we didn’t have therapy, we had confession.” Most people still have the warped idea that religion is the only way to rid yourself of negative emotions, and that lack of religion is the cause of negative emotion. If you got Abigail Shrier to sit down with a few glasses of wine, she’d say the exact same junk.
This is important. Therapists should build relationships with their clients. Then they can break down walls and preconceptions. They can call folks on their shit and teach them new templates on how to approach life. They can grow the childish folks into healed adults. Over a quarter of therapists aren’t good therapists.
I’m a older gen z. I believe that the biggest problem my generation has is not being able to do what you want. I think the most of us want a family but don’t have a good example of a close relationship. And feeling afraid of doing wrong or not feeling worthy. Therapy doesn’t always have an effect. You can’t therapy away every stimulus. Life becomes easier if you learn to prioritise and move on. PS I had a wonderful childhood and parent (happily married)am grateful for everything I have. I do well economically and socially but an acknowledge that this is fairly rare nowadays. I just wish that we could do better by the kids- the future of our world.
I don't think any generation has an example of a good relationship but they still had kids and a family. It's just a matter of passing the trauma down until one generation finally fixes it. Not saying that's what you should do btw, just that most generations didn't stop to think about those things. They just followed the animal instinct.
Confidence needs to be taught it changed my life and confidence can get you further than literally anything in life outside of that being born into rich. We do a bad job of teaching your generation confidence and giving you reassurance. I do my fair share and then some for sure. I work with your generation everyday and I watch these kids life change within moments of just being around my words. However I know for the average American this isn't a truth sadly. Just remember you can do anything and your generation is the one who's intelligent enough to change the world as we know it.
Lots of people have PTSD, but usually the undereducated think PTSD is only real when you’re having a full blown panic attack or some shell shock looking episode. PTSD is everywhere, nowadays it’s most likely C-PTSD. Are people over exaggerating it ? Probably, but it’s there
@@shadow13265 Saying it's there is a MOOT point. Nobody denies the reality of its existence. It's the fact that a label is being used for the self righteous gain.
10:18 for me it didn't lead to lifelong depression but it did lead me to never ever make any friends in my adulthood. I don't like people I do not trust people I won't even work outside of my home. This is all due to being severely bullied in school throughout all my years. I was also bullied in my early twenties when I tried to go out and do the work field. Adults are just as bad if not worse than children. So we might not develop depression but I would say it's still a complex.
In the past year I lost one of my oldest and best friends to brain cancer at the age of 30. Two weeks after that my little brother died from a heart disorder and a month after that the new kitten my wife and I had that was 11 months old was diagnosed with FIP and died within a week, i also celebrated 3 years clean from heroin. This happened while I made the choice to go back to school at the age of 30 after dropping out when I was 16. All of this has made me feel more resilient and proud of myself than I ever have and I hope the younger generation learns the value of suffering and hardship and surviving it all. The quote that reminds me to push forward the most is by Marcus Aurelius who said " life puts no burden on a man that he is not fit by nature to bare."
She makes an excellent point- no one talks about the adaptive purpose of depression, everyone just wants to 'cure' it. Maybe you're supposed to be depressed for awhile, even a long while, to get you to transform into a different person.
For the most part, BUT, it isn't always that simple. I believe depression for sure has a purpose but sometimes it can be so heavy, so overwhelming, that a person loses will. I definitely don't think every case of depression should be so heavily medicated. That shit is poison.
Absolutely. I went through a deep depressive period a few years ago. I mean, every morning as I woke I was upset I hadn't perished during the night. Absolute despair, no hope. But I got though it and am so much better today. This taught me that I CAN get through something like this. And now if I start to feel that downward spiral this knowledge that I can pull through actually helps me elevate my mood and get back on track. The experiential knowledge that there is hope saves me from descending into complete hopelessness.
I would say in a lot of cases yes but I’ve firsthand have watched my sibling go through crippling depression for over a year they’ve had no will to do anything and it hasn’t improved in even the slightest. I don’t know what answer there could be for them other than medication at this point
This is so true. Reminiscing about everything bad in life is what led my mom to killing herself. I grew up arpund her and she was ALWAYS a ball of anxiety. Growing up, i took on a lot of her traits of being vendictive and overly emotional about all aspects of my life and how "shitty" evrrything was. It wasn't until I was 25, and i moved out that I started working construction, which gave me money and skills to help build my confidence. It took about 2 years to realize that I was actually finally free and happy for once in my life. I love life and I try my best to help those around me now, I hardly ever think about the past anymore 🙂🙂
Hello❤🎉 from Mother Father of all creation our creators are in the physical flesh please phone home today in this special lifetime to heal and live joy! Stop destruction intents
High school teacher here. I've made a few observations. 1. The more internet/computer-centric a student's leisure time is, the more social problems they tend to have. (this could be a "chicken or the egg" type of scenario, but the fact remains...) 2. Students who engage in extracurricular clubs and sports tend to have less behavioral issues and tend to have better communication skills. 3. Those students with two parents who take active roles in their child's education tend to do better academically and socially.
“Prepare the child for the road, not the road for the child” is a quote I heard recently that has really got me thinking lately. So many parents do everything in their power to set their kids up for success that the kids don’t understand how to create that success for themselves.
@@HabitualJoker I studied Ancient Greek history and the society. This is what the issue of “good times make weak men” come in. Philosophy was originally designed to address this issue and how to catch conartists when you don’t know the subject area
I wish she actually spoke her mind on people WITH those disorders. She keeps trying to separate “people w major depressive order that needs to be treated” I was fully on board until the end. I do agree w her somewhat.
I was depressed for years, convinced my anxiety was a feature of my character rather than a struggle I could overcome. I'm not completely free of it, but compared to how I was for the majority of my life it's like night and day. The key? Exposure, for one, I thought I had to limit my exposure to social situations because it caused me stress, but stress was what I needed, like a muscle that was weak from little use, it hurt to strengthen it, but if I avoided the pain it would last forever. I had to suffer greater pain now for less later. Lot of people just accept they're broken now and don't try to fix themselves. The only shame in weakness is the acquiescence to it.
Very valid point. Going to therapy is just a wealthy person construct. Rich people who don't have time to teach their kids how to grow up. What they call "exposure therapy," is just exactly as you said... Exposing yourself to all those environments you fear, so that you adapt and overcome. That's neuroplasticity at work. The mind essentially has to be trained to handle more stress and responsibility. Social media is probably the cause of most of these issues, because it allows you to ruminate and get feedback from like minded people about your emotions. It causes more indulgence in negative patterns and weak emotions that you'd normally have to disregard quickly.
Hello❤🎉 from Mother Father of all creation our creators are in the physical flesh please phone home today in this special lifetime to heal and live joy! Stop destruction intents
Came to the exact same conclusion after dropping over 30 pounds in the last month & half through intense diet & exercise alone(im talking 8-9 hours of elevated heart rate & sweating from labor while wearing severel layers.drinking 3 liters of water a day & the exact amount of salty carbs. My motivating factor was to start skateboarding again & as soon as I set my goal & refused to make excuses against that goal shit changed my life seemingly overnight.
Sucking it up doesn't always work, if it works for some, I'm happy it does. I worked in trauma/ER and witnessed many things, unfortunately, one day while caring for my father at home he had a heart attack, and I did everything I could to save him, but he passed away in my arms before the paramedics arrived. The experience left me very confused, it was difficult to lean on my family because they were also hurting, sucking it up like I normally did, didnt work because of the love and appreciation I had for my father. I went to therapy and my life was given back to me. My therapist initially asked, "what brings you here"? To my replay, " it's difficult to give myself advice", a few takeaways from therapy. Everyone has a different threshold for pain/psychological challenges, leaning on family sometimes isnt an option, being able to speak to a neutral person who has the ability to unwed your thoughts, emotions for the sake of feeling better is self caring. Listen to what you need, I wish you all peace❤.
Thanks for sharing your story and advice. One of the many reasons and situations where therapy and the support is indeed necessary and good. God rest your father’s soul.
i agree with your perspective and so sorry for your loss. however i think the difference is you went through something genuinely traumatizing and truly awful. as someone considered gen z i believe she’s is talking about this generation of kids who are raised to have no ability to cope with basic or everyday life problems, not genuine traumatizing experiences. the issue here is that kids are so sheltered now and therapy isnt a real solution to how emotionally stunted being so sheltered makes you. again sorry for your loss god bless you and yours
Their talking about child not men! Yes what happened to you is life. But you overcame that situation. Child now and days are focused on “feelings” not navigating life. God be with you and give you strength but we need to build strong men and can lead their family!
I was raised by my father almost exclusively after the age of 13. A lot of people I look at them pussies quite frankly. They're afraid to ever say anything that might be considered even slightly controversial. They just practice group think.
I'm a therapist and people wouldn't come in for help if I told them to cheer up and shake it off. But at every session, I ask them what the high point of the week was or what were their wins. Over time, they start remembering that I'm going to ask them that, and they start paying more attention to good experiences or wins. I also teach mindfulness and problem solving.
I was struggling as a preteen to ride in vehicles after getting into a car accident with a friend's drunk parent at the wheel. I lived in a rural area where walking wouldn't cut it and I needed to be able to be comfortable in a vehicle again. After a few weeks of my parents having to slow way down because I would become too frightened and would begin to basically freak out and start climbing the seats, they decided we had to deal with the problem. They presented the idea of facing my fear and having me ride in the back while they drove extra fast around corners to see that I could survive the fear and anxiety. It only took one time of doing this to lessen my anxiety and all these years later, driving is one of my favorite places to be. I think it can sometimes be helpful to face that which brings the most anxiety, head on. I know this won't work in every situation but it could be a great lesson for some.
My dad died in the front doorway to our house when I was a teenager. He died right in front of my brother and I. We both had to walk across that spot every time we came home. It was hard at first because that specific location became a source of adversity in our lives. A simple and inanimate doorway held so much emotional control over me, at first. After walking across the threshold of a bad memory several times, my brother and I are were able to conquer and grow from it. As sad as it was, it helped fuel my ambition and it gave me a thorough, albeit extreme, education on life and death. Unfortunately, many therapists today would tell a client to start using the side door and avoid a "triggering" location. This response denies a person the ability to grow through their life experience and enslaves them to the fears that develop from natural/normal events in their lives. Furthermore, any modern psychological concept that includes terms like "triggering" to describe the emotional effects of an inanimate object ultimately enables a person with narcistic tendencies to develop into a full-blown psychopath. PS: Woke is a mind virus.
@@mclovinfuddpucker What? I am a Democrat and would never shame children for knowing Jesus Christ, whom is MY SAVIOUR too! What are you saying and why?
In some messed up kind of way, I think experiencing true hardship is good for people. My family went through a stage of homelessness for 3 years of my childhood where we lived in a car through winters and summer heat, little to no food, turned away from friends and family, saw the dark side of shelters riddled with addiction and mental illness. It was very painful, but it really opened my eyes to how bad things can be and just how strong I could be to make it out the other side. The very tactics I used to survive are the same tactics I use to thrive today
In my opinion it’s social media. Before when you failed few people heard about it. Now when you fail it’s online for everyone to see. So they are settling rather than taking chances
Social media is the cause of most of this, along with ubiquitous smartphones and internet access. Millennials and gen Z are two generations who were in the thick of the proliferation of IoT and social media, esp with the "handheld" computer. No other generations have had to figure out and deal with the repercussions of having virtually every piece of information accessible at your very fingerprints, and yet prove their worth knowing little real world skills. It's a strange psychological situation to have insights on the world, but not having real world experience learning and growing through struggles.
Ideally people should have each other's backs in times of failure or issues, so the problem here may be generally bad attitudes of others. Theres a lot of talk about how to push out haters, ignore the hate, etc, but the hate itself has got to keep being addressed so it can beunderstodd and, ironically, be used to help others who are in that bad/hateful mindset to break out of it
It's a tiny fractional small part of it , it's society as a whole , food consumption plays a massive part in mental health , your stomach is directly linked to your brain , the shit you eat plays a part in about 50% of your entire mental health , then you have ti think about the failed parenting, the failed school system , this failed society as a whole , social media then the work place , its more than just social media
Not sure you are entirely correct. I agree that social media is a huge problem and likely the main problem, but I don't think it because more people are seeing you fail. May people today are on the narcist scale more than any other time. This ends up being a need for attention and what is the best way to get attention than to have a problem, where people feel sorry for you and provide statements meant to encourage you through the problem but in reality are simply fueling your narcissism. Thus you are in a constant state of "problems" in order to maintain the inflow of validation.
Millennial here…started trauma therapy last year & my life is greatly improving. Two things can be true at once, perhaps multiple things can be true when a situation is multi faceted…parenting out of fear holds a child’s development back, neglecting children causes so much psychological trauma…doing the best you can to love & equip them as best possible for their lives is the goal.
The main point this video doesn't elaborate on is: Yes, there are cases where depression/anxiety can be debilitating and require psychiatric care. But that is like, 1/50 people nowadays. Literally everyone says they're depressed/anxious/on meds/clinically bi polar/whatever. No, no, you're not. Not all of you. It's become trendy and quirky to be mentally unstable. With the advent of social media, the problem is magnified and blown way out of proportion.
I've been to therapy twice. Weekly for a year at 27. Twice-a-month for 6 months at 44. Huge impact on my life. It gave me tools to talk to myself and to other people.
Yes for things like anxiety or self esteem it’s helpful but if your gonna go fir some heavy trauma issues? U better ask yourself is it worth going back on something that’s done with? And was it so traumatic that I actually need more than talk therapy in Fact I should go get Psychedelic Therapy?
Yo this lady speaking facts… I’m 26 and I see the same out of my peers. They’re all too concerned about their mental health instead of focusing on the cause of their mental health deteriorating. Going to therapy isn’t going to change how much money you make, how many friends you have, etc.
I tell my son to suck it up all the time. He used to hate me for it (in the moment), but now that he’s 13, and can see how he can handle so much more adversity than most of his peers, he is thankful for it - and he appreciates me for teaching him to be tough.
I’d imagine those who have stand out like a sore thumb. Probably easy to get hired for work, but a pain to manage others who weren’t brought up that way.
I love this lady this was eye opening with a 9 year old daughter in therapy that seemingly does nothing we have recently talked about putting her on meds after avoiding it for years this reaffirmed my beliefs that I've been talking to my wife about for years now how my lessons I've taught as a dad have done way more to improve her behavior than therapy ever has I'm glad I've invested to much blood sweat and tears over the years into shaping my daughter into a wonderful young lady by teaching her to recognize her bad choices and the consequences that come with them and instead try xy or z to improve her own life
Hello❤🎉 from Mother Father of all creation our creators are in the physical flesh please phone home today in this special lifetime to heal and live joy! Stop destruction intents
Hello❤🎉 from Mother Father of all creation our creators are in the physical flesh please phone home today in this special lifetime to heal and live joy! Stop destruction intents
I had always felt therapy was generally unhelpful if not outright detrimental for my children, but I couldn't put any substance behind my assertion... so much of what was said here rings true. I have two kids, now adults, who struggled heavily as teens. In and out of mental hospitals, etc... I could easily boil the culprit down to therapists encouraging ruminating over negative emotions/thoughts... makes so much sense
I’ve felt this way about mental health for a long time. Coming from a sister who has been in therapy for most her life, on countless meds, ruminates over hard times in her very privileged upper middle class life. I’m not saying she didn’t have hard times, but I do think that years of wallowing and therapists constantly validating her and not challenging her to be brave has really stunted her growth as a person. It’s heartbreaking
When a toddler falls down and no one sees they don’t have any reaction. When everyone is looking and starts comforting the toddler they immediately loose it.
Because the toddler has no other choice but to self-sooth. You might say that's "toughening them up" but the truth is it leads to a self loathing adult that believe they're not worthy of love and comfort, making loving relationships very difficult, leading to a perveying feeling of loneliness and sadness.
@@jamesburke9865 Or the toddler looks for social cues on how to respond and if there is no knee jerk response by the parents or siblings, then they don't interpret it as a big deal and react accordingly. Like if a parent giggles and doesn't rush over to help vs smothering the child with concern causes the toddler to then be concerned. First 7 years of a child's life is mostly download mode (Theta brainwave dominant) to form the personal identity that becomes solidified as the ego.
I found this video fascinating. I’m a military retiree who fights the idea that I have PTSD and my therapist insists on getting me to accept it. She’s willing to label it something else, but is set on me accepting my issues the military ‘gave me’. She tells me I have ‘trauma’ from car accidents and the lack of medical treatment I got at the ER on base. She doesn’t seem to try to encourage resilience but assigning labels and reasons. This video opened my eyes to stuff I was already feeling in ‘therapy’. I was stationed at CENTCOM during a rough time and might have ‘issues’ with how we were treated, what we did or what we saw, but she is trying to get me to assign blame and almost use those things as excuses. A few of my fellow vets are in prison, one is on death row currently and the excuse is always PTSD. There’s such a bad connotation with that now that I’m ashamed to say I might have it. Medical professionals told me for years my chronic pain from breaking my back had to give me depression. Anyone with as much physical injury and pain MUST be depressed. If I believed them, I would be the most depressed pos. People don’t teach resilience and sadly, or in my case,luckily, it’s in us or iit’s not.
Read the body keeps the score. It shows fMRIs and goes into studies that show the impacts of PTSD on the brain. Sorry to hear there is a negative connotation about it. Just because other people have it and use it as an excuse for their actions doesn’t mean those of us who take accountability and manage an illness should be punished for it. I have Bipolar II and have the same issues with negative connotations. I am open about it though, if they don’t want to educate themselves on it that’s not my problem.
If you have symptoms that one can categorize as "PTSD", but you personally get along fine with them, and in life in general, you dont have PTSD. Simple as that. Subjective suffering is necessary for (most) diagnoses, not the symptoms per se.
@@metalslegend I mean if you get a Dx by a professional, you have PTSD. People can be high functioning with any illness, it doesn’t mean that they don’t have it. An fMRI and how the body reacts to tramua would also disagree with “oh, you’re high functioning so you don’t have PTSD.” This isn’t towards you, it’s the author lol, but, I don’t think people should talk on mental illness unless they worked with a medical professional, have read books/reseach and/or are in therapy. It’s what annoys me about this author to begin with. Tell me she knows nothing about trauma and therapy without telling me she knows nothing and we have her book lol.
@@PinkFlip23 Subjective suffering is necessary for most mental/psychiatric diagnoses, also for PTSD. The symptoms of PTSD typically go hand in hand with significant distress and impairments. Therefore, this aspect is not usually given much consideration. However, for other mental disorders, it makes sense to distinguish symptoms from a mental disorder. Mental disorder requires extensively subjective experienced impairment, because of the symptoms. Therefore, the fMRI scan doesn't help too much here. If one actually has PTSD, with suffering, etc., I also assume that the activity and/or structure of the brain changes. However, this could also be the case by symptoms without significant suffering. I'm not familiar with the study situation on this in particular.
@@metalslegend I mean yes suffering is involved but people can appear fully functioning with a mental disorder. I have Bipolar II disorder. I have had episodes where I have very high functioning depression and others where it impacts my functioning. Hypomania in itself doesn’t cause clinical dysfunction. I looked into the DSM5 criteria. If you look at the DSM5 it does say criterion G suggests significant symptom related distress OR functional impairment(social, work, school.) so that part is required for a diagnosis. I had a friend with PTSD after her mom passed so I know from experience on what it looks like. It’s interesting how diagnosis’s are made because it can be hard for it to be 100% subjective. A lot of mental health professionals only use the DSM5 for an outline. The DSM5 is highly scrutinized in the field. Are there therapists that suck, yes, but that’s every job. It’s up to the patient to do the work as well. You get out what you put into therapy. It takes work. This author has 0 credentials or hasn’t read a book on this subject. She probably hasn’t had real therapy or good therapy for herself. There’s a great video Dr. Ana(Dr. in clinical psychology) who has a video debunking what this author is saying in this book with research and goes on a whole hour about it. One point she talks about is that there’s tons of research that proves holding emotions in is bad for us both physically and mentally. It’s an interesting video.
Hey joe, this hit me hard because I had a traumatic event in my childhood where my sister lost her life. I allowed this event define who I was for years. Idw to put to much out but anytime u want to have a discussion, I turn my life completely around
It’s a weird thing, I’m an electrician with 10+ years of experience and I can barely get 25$/hr from most companies in SC. The problem is that’s around 900$ take home a week which is not enough to rent a place and live a comfortable life. So I end up working for myself on the weekends to supplement some extra $$. Starting my own business is the goal but because of health insurance costing up to 900$ a month it’s really hard to try and make that change without having a “nest egg of cash” already saved up to help with the transition. I have given up my social life for over a year and a half to try and save up money to do my own thing but than it gets to the point where it feels like I’m living to work. I remember growing up my friends parents could afford a house in a decent neighborhood with 1 parent working at the local cable company…
If you find a good woman who makes $25 plus TOO you will be on the right track! OR find one or two roommates and rent a great place and live a great life chasing tail. That’s what I did and it was fun as HELL!!!
@@bradjudy5708the point is you shouldn't have to depend on anyone to be happy or make a life for yourself. Having roommates is cool sometimes but you eventually need yiur own space
Hello❤🎉 from Mother Father of all creation our creators are in the physical flesh please phone home today in this special lifetime to heal and live joy! Stop destruction intents
I'm a girl , i have two sisters. And my mom raised us telling us to suck it up. Told is that life will beat us way harder then the pain we feel now. It was great. I see how we grew up so much more resilient then people around us.
Trauma for a child is different than trauma for an adult. Things affect children’s differently, they aren’t talking about blood and gore trauma they are talking about emotional trauma.
Bro, I have genuine ptsd from my childhood and the first time I saw a war vet 3xperience ptsd my response was,"how tf are we diagnosed with the same thing?!"
Childhood abuse is pretty damaging ro a child because it never gives them the chance to develope the mechanisms to cope with it - I do agree their should be a different diagnosis for it, because PTSD from childhood trauma is a bit different from what people in war and acting as first responders deal with, even if many symptoms are the same.
Teenage PTSD? Caused by what exactly? Sounds like a marketing ploy to medicate them from an early age, $$$. If living in the U.S. gives PTSD then better move country.
She is undoubtedly one of the smartest, most common sense people I have ever heard explain depression & anxiety! This is terrific! Everyone should listen to this! Great job again Joe Rogan!
My daughter is giving a presentation in school this week. Half the class just said they weren't doing it. When I was in school (I'm 44 now) there wasn't even an option to not do it.
Wait…you can’t be serious…is that really an option now
Gen x had no option!❤💯we still don't!
That’s a good thing. Nobody should be forced to do something against their will. If you don’t work you don’t make no money but you have the choice. Shouldn’t force anyone to stand in front of everyone and present a project and speech or else they fail. Not right
@@bigzachfulthat’s exactly the problem… cringe reading your comment… my children would never
@@AFatOcelotprobably not but if enough kids just say no what do you do as a teacher?
We couldn’t afford therapy growing up. Instead we went to confession at church. When I was 15 years old (in the 80s) I was confessing to the Priest feeling like a horrible person. He leaned around the screen (which was a shock to me) and said, “You need to lighten up. You are not a bad kid. I’m not even going to make you do penance. You are free to go.” I was so shocked! I took his words to heart and now in my 50s still remind myself of that. Society at large (and of course parents) needs to reinforce to young people they are ok. It’s ok to make mistakes. To try and fail. Failure is learning in action. Failure is feedback. I wish I could give all Gen Z’s a big hug. Instead I volunteer at my Alma Mater to give talks to classes and Jen asked to do so and speak on resilience. As a mom of 3 adult sons I’m an expert. I bet you are too! Let’s be the village to support and encourage the younger generations-not mock them.
❤️ thanks for that. I’ve commented this on another post but I do feel like gen z is a product of their environment (chronic stress, fear, uncertainty, insecurity). I think it’s really hard for us to find community, support, generosity and a place where we feel safe. Instead, it feels like we are met with more judgment, fear and criticism. We are great kids but we are really struggling right now and need someone to believe in us as we are.
Fuck yes!!! Thank you for that. As a millennial who didn't have everything given to them I'm grateful as fuck for my parents and mentors. I may not have been given everything I ever wanted as a kid. However, I was given everything I ever needed.
Here, here!
It isn't okay to make mistakes or say the wrong things anymore, you will be canceled or arrested.
that’s true. and they’ve been cushioned from every sad, disappointing or bad emotion. When you aren’t able to experience that and learn from it as a young kid it hits you hard as a teen and adult.
The schools do this from the start. kids are supposed to socialize that way with each other but adults get way too involved and don’t let them figure it out.
What really helped me as a gen Zer was staying off social media, not comparing my self to others, and dipping my hand into everything I can. when I was 18 I was admitted to a psych ward because I was spending too much time thinking and moping about how much of a loser I felt like that I was becoming delusional hoping that my life would change somehow. When I started taking action and going back to school and pursuing a career my focus shifted from “why is my life like this?” to “how can I turn my life into this?”
Good move, social media is poison! Invest that time in something else that is actually good for your future and well being. Social Media will be the exact same BS ten years from now as it is today. Instagram for instance is just a marketing tool, more than half of what gets posted are fake. People as well, don't try too hard to make people happy, It is impossible. Been there and done that, learnt my lesson when it comes to people :)
Liar.
True. Thinking is a waste of time, give your self three options, weigh up the pros and cons, pick one and commit to the mfer.
Gen X here, and I want you to know that I see a lot of promise in your generation. You are the most like us, but we need to remind you that you are very resilient more than you realize. We had to fend for ourselves and it made us tougher because of it. I also see your generation as the one that brings the country back to God. Most of our problems are because secularism allows no room for mistakes and you learn a lot from failures. Faith gives you purpose to want to improve yourself while not worrying about others or comparing yourself to others. God loves us and never gives up on us and we are all redeemable. Please remember that. Hugs to you, you guys will accomplish a lot if you lead the nation back to its roots.
But could it also be due to microplastics and aluminum oxide and glyphosate.
I am an elder mil. one foot in X - and my father told me life would be hard, sometimes you will loose and sometimes you will win. Not everyone will like you - like yourself and you will find your tribe. I thought he was a little tough on me - but now.. in life during this crazy time, I am so so grateful.
Exactly. I was born in 73. I tell my 19 year old daughter that not everyone is going to like her or support her. She'll meet people who disagree with her and treat her badly, and it's ok. You can't expect everyone to be "fair" or to like you. She looked at me like I was nuts, but I think she's starting to see what I was talking about.
@BooleanGemini born 77 - the fact that you have to call me a clown let's me know how sensitive you are lol - like I care.
The fact that you have to respond with the last word is even more telling
@@Tek_Nik_Hatchi 🤣😂🤣
@@Tek_Nik_Hatchi 🤣😂🤣
I was widowed 3 years ago, with 2 teenage boys and 7 year old girl. It was very traumatic for all of us, brain aneurysm at home in the middle of conversation. I had therapists want to put my 15 year old son on ssri after having talked to him for a total of 5 minutes. Wrong. This really bad crazy thing happened and you witnessed it. You need to process this event and move forward not block it out with chemicals. So that’s what we did. He felt all things as they came and we talked about it together, still do. One of my kids tried to pull the “I’m special because this happened.” Wrong. You are not special. Bad shit happens every day, it sucks. But that’s not permission to be a drain on the world around you. You can’t control what happened, but you can control your response to it. We aren’t moving on, we’re moving forward. Me specifically knowing I’ve already had the worst day of my life, I can handle whatever comes. And so can they.
You are a very strong person
I am so sorry for your loss and I hope your family is doing fine.
You sound like a great mother and I hope everything turns out or continues turning out alright.
I can only imagine how tough this must’ve been for you and your children. And you also sound like a very wise strong and capable woman! Your kids will absolutely thank you when they’re old enough to understand how much you’ve endured to keep them safe and allow them to grow into the same capable strong adults that you are.
Parents MUST be strong. Who else is there?? Parents are no more prepared for adulthood, let alone raising others to be adults, than anyone else. Let that sink in. Parents "step up to the plate." They wing it daily, pulling from reservoirs previously unknown to themselves, hoping those under their care (and oftentimes themselves too) mentally survive another couple days. @@Mannsy83
But not everybody can be like you.
She just single handedly expressed what I’ve been saying for years “regularly concentrating on your bad feelings will make you feel bad” simple as that
"Your focus determines your reality." - Qui Gon Jinn
Yup! I learned to partly overcome this for 10 years.
on the flip side to this, i think there's nothing wrong with concentrating on how you feel bad regularly as long as you redirect that energy to improvement or some sort of cautious optimism because you have to examine why you feel bad to overcome it. think its important to say this if someone reads this and decides to be like overly positive which is also mad annoying
@@beabadoobeefanq_q3701people who refuse to let themselves feel bad are like people who refuse to clean their home or take out the trash. When you ignore your problems, it feels like you’re having more fun and things are better, but that shit will pile up around you and start fuckin up your life.
I’ve gone through therapy and all this describes exactly how I feel about it NOW. For sure. Sure maybe it helped at first. But it’s NOT what works long term and correctly.
I’ve now evolved to “everything is all shit anyways so I have to start liking shit”
And it’s working for sure. I’ve become quite comfortable being uncomfortable and just expect it to be now so. That’s what I really needed to get over. Therapy does NOT address that.
I finally went to a therapist for a few months to address anxiety that I’ve had for 20-25 years (since childhood) and she helped me train my mind rather than give me meds. I think I saw her for 6 months and she was happy that I didn’t need her anymore. It was hard work but I never had that toolkit before. I think these kids need a toolkit rather than coddling .
May I ask what kind of tools worked for you?
@@SciHunter1337that’s a great question
That's great. I manage a healthcare centre & I see way too many ppl coming to see Drs & therapist with anxiety & they just get medicated to the hilt & after a while they end up with a addiction.
Good for you! Most people don't realize the point of going to therapy is to get to the point where you no longer need therapy.
Please..im interested to know what worked for you as well..i am not currently in the right place (financially) to be able to afford therapy..i know everyone is different but any tips would be hugely appreciated
My recovery journey was greatly enhanced by the therapeutic benefits of mushrooms. Other psychedelics like DMT and LSD have also proven to be remarkable.
Psilocybin mushrooms,DMT and LSD has been quite therapeutic for me.
I was diagnosed with severe depression and mental health issues, not until a friend recommended golden teachers mushroom for spiritual and mental gratification. I’ve been well ever since for about 4 years now.
Hey mate, Can someone help me with the source?
doctorcyruss is your guy, got all kinds of psychedelics, and the most knowledgeable that I know.
He’s on Telgram?
Yes, and TikTok, highly recommended.
Many forget that hormones are all messed up, too. I’m a nurse and so many young men have low testosterone. Low testosterone is associated with anxiety, fatigue, and low self esteem.
vaccines...
what are some reasons this generation has lower testosterone? Rogan had that one lady that claimed it was plastics seeping into our systems. Anything else common that might cause it?
@@hapaharley1706Could be a combination of factors.
They tried to medicate my hormones. I hit 25 and it just went away
@@hapaharley1706Its most likely parents not giving a fuck about their kids and sticking them in front of screens to distract them. The kids grow up complacent and without doing anything physical theyre not gonna be producing testosterone right. Its the parents not parenting. Its what it always has been.
Gen Z here, my husband passed away when I was 8 months pregnant. Obviously, it was awful and devastating but something curious also happened. My anxiety, I'd been plagued with since I was 9yo vanished. A social worker came to talk with me in the hospital and said, "This is going to be a trauma for you..." and I cut her off "ma'am I dont think this is a trauma, its simply just a tradegy"
We are so insulated from death, in modern society, and while it's a horrible experience to endure loss, it does ground you. None of the little things bother you after enduring something so earthshattering.
this is true. I mean, the every day, earthshattering grief and constantly thinking in the past dosent help. Yet life goes on
I felt the same way when my mom died young. Since then I agree the little stuff became easy to handle
Parents do need to say “ Move on “
I’m Gen x , I grew up in good times. I do not envy Gen z , especially with social media , the economy , crazy politics, lack
Of
Community , etc etc
But they will need to figure it out - and they will ❤
Good for you standing up to these "trauma" experts.
Zoomers already out here having kids. wtf
I’m a child therapist with an LPC but my undergraduate degree is in psychology and A big part of what I do is parent training rather than talk therapy. Parents absolutely transfer huge amounts of anxiety, over protect, and they live their life through a screen.
I was a child therapist in the school system for a while. I left the field because I could not be part of the systemic psychological abuse of children, the "therapeutic education", the weekly manipulative "circle times", the teaching boys that they are inferior to girls, the teaching and preaching that "there is no such thing as truth and right and wrong", that gender is a social construct, that the white male patriarchy wrecked the planet and oppresses girls and women, the banning of activities that boys enjoy, encouraging girls to "be assertive" and boys to "cry more", to value emotions and feelings over all else,... etc, etc.
So You say parents over do it, yet at the same time you had to give us all the credentials you had to gather before you were allowed to professionally talk with children, don't you think needing a Masters & a PHD plus all these certifications just to be a therapist is part of the problem too? By the time ya'll are allowed to practice your completely brainwashed.
I will say, as a 40 year old, screens feel safer and parents have always been transferring their fears and anxiety onto their children! I'm consciously trying to not put my issues onto my kids. My daughter is definitely not affected by my issues in the slightest and I admire her "I can do anything" attitude. I do want her to know that she will be hurt at times, but that's life's way of telling her to reevaluate things
As if decades of Journalist Activism isn't a HUGE part of the problem. Please. I like TJRE, but not this drivel. People like her are a huge part of the problem. Maybe that explains Joe's long pause after she finally shuts her yap at the beginning of the video. Would have loved to know what he was really thinking.
@@fastinbulvis2223 You have no idea what you are talking about. The causes and best treatments for anxiety have been well understood for decades but swamped and covered over with hundreds of false leftist studies that fail independent replication, and a flood of expensive exacerbation programs that further generate the problem and make wealthy careers for everyone involved in them.
When I was 19 (4 years ago) my mother died very suddenly due to malpractice. I dropped her off at the hospital for routine surgery, was supposed to pick her up the next morning and 2 days later she died. She was a single mother and my best friend. This led to a ton of anger and wrecked my mental health, I lived with my grandparents and for a bit before I packed up and moved across the state for a job. While I was living with my grandparents they had me go to therapy, my therapist was an older woman mid 60s, very nice and practical lady I saw her twice a month for about 6 months. She explained that the thoughts and feelings I was having were normal after an event like that and broke it down to me, but also explained that life goes on. I would get depressed and anxious(still get anxious) I heard about medicine from my peers to help with this and she would tell me “you don’t need painkillers for sore muscles, your brain is sore from the trauma and this will pass” and it made sense. I’ve found natural ways to deal with my mental health and I think her not prescribing me anything saved me in the long run. I hear about my peers who take all this medication for trauma they created in their mind,they are weak minded. My generation is fucked
not only ours every generation is fucked even 60yo people are taking antidepressants now mate
sick world with no room for fragile people thats why there is so many artists passing and stuff
Beautiful. Well put
Ive suffered with anxiety and depression most of my life. The best tip i can give is to find something you enjoy and are passionate about. For me it was hunting, fishing, and just being outdoors. Exercise is important to.
"Idle mind is a devil's playground" 👹
And push through the anxiety and depression. You can.
Add Jesus and God and you’re ready to Goooooo!!!!
Hello❤🎉 from Mother Father of all creation our creators are in the physical flesh please phone home today in this special lifetime to heal and live joy! Stop destruction intents
Wow fascinating, being active and having interests is a cure for depression and anxiety. Almost like people knew this all along
I went on meds for depression and anxiety and my parents would tell me they’ve also experienced very similar symptoms sometime in life but they had to push through and had responsibilities so they just did what was needed to be done. However they did help me out and never questioned my symptoms. But they also did tell me to get out of the house more and not sit alone in my room because that would force me to think and think and getting anxious. I used to get angry at them thinking they don’t understand but now after years of being off the meds, I realise how good my parents’ advice was.
F anything s ever feeling suicidal or unable too function de 2 Depression? Take the meds if nothing else they stop the fall from continuing
@@cherobinson6371learn english
@@cherobinson6371 Aside from being barely legible, that's an odd response. Not everyone needs to be medicated, and doctors prescribe and push these things a majority of the time on people with less severe symptoms. It works for some people and doesn't work for others. I have felt suicidal and unable to function, and I take an anti-depressant. I haven't always, and won't forever. Everyone is different. Don't take offense simply because someone else got good advice, and didn't need the medication themselves.
@@cherobinson6371just don’t be soft
@@ds90seph Nobody is saying everybody needs to be medicated. Some do, that's a fact. Everybody is different and has different needs.
I’m currently in school to be a therapist and I completely agree with all of this. Mental health practitioners need to stop helping people be a victim. Live your life, touch grass, feel awful, feel wonderful. It’s life
Does it still work if I have a grass plant indoors?
This may sound ironic, but I kept getting pissed at my therapist because I felt like she wouldn't really listen to my problems. She just wanted to tell me to do things. I wanted to fire her and told my psychiatrist (med dispenser) so. He defended her. I completely get it!
Facts
The trouble with mental illness is you can often only feel terrible - that's the illness part. When you experience random non specific intense dysphoria every day of your life it makes perfect sense to try and solve it, or at least understand it, especially if it's genetic.
@@user-di2gi7tw6qGabor mate is a quack. Makes up his own theories with no peer review, no testing, just his own whims and intuition.
Listen to what he says about any mental health issue, then listen to an actual expert pick apart his uninformed drivel.
I’m so grateful to hear this conversation. I went through a clinical depression some years ago over family stuff overwhelming me and generally stuffing my feelings. Dr gave me antidepressants and anxiety meds. I didn’t like feeling “flat” emotionally and basically quit after 4 days. I was determined to get out of my own head and started going to the gym and walking and journaling. Prayer saved my life. I am a baby boomer. Raised my kids to push through. They are doing great. I’m so grateful I did it. I agree that family connections are very important. We have strong connections with our past and know victories our ancestors have been through
One of my favorite quotes is from a Navy SEAL who said, "toughness is putting yourself in an uncomfortable situation until it is no longer uncomfortable. "
Try holding your finger over a match and let me know how that works out
Ok simp
@@Baby-Dont-Hurt-Me-007😂hahahaah
@@Baby-Dont-Hurt-Me-007the nerves will eventually get burned out lmaoooo
That's not a tough situation, that's enduring physical pain. Are you being obtuse for effect? @Baby-Dont-Hurt-Me-007
I used to have severe depression. Then I turned 28 years old and realized I had wasted over 10 years of my life dwelling on problems and negative things. I had been to therapists, AA meetings, and been on multiple prescriptions. No doctor ever asked me how much sleep I got or gave me any real actionable advice. They just let me talk. And talk. And talk. And my sadness never got better. Then one day I read a famous old saying, “A young man went to an old wise man and said, “Old man, I have 2 dogs who are fighting, which one will win?” The old man said, “The one that you feed.”” This saying taught me that whatever you give your attention to is what you will become. I do not believe therapy or prescription drugs were ever truly helpful for me. Creating goals for myself and getting involved in healthy things is what saved me.
That's "the tale of two wolves". Native American proverb.
wow I have the exact same experience with therapists. What helped you stick to your goals?
This is basically my exact experience if you change our AA with OA-although I struggled with drinking also… finding meditation and Jordan Peterson’s work also helped me immensely. Attaching myself to another person and other people who were aiming up was huge… having supportive friends and family and cutting out toxic folk (which was basically a byproduct of the work that became self evidently necessary). I am so grateful for this video to help us raise our kids with a little more “tough love” and they get this proverb regularly as my fiancé is Native American and therefore our kids ancestors told this story… continue to tell this story. Continue to live this story… keep feeding the good wolves, friends.
I’m glad you were able to come out of that. It can be really hard but I’m glad you found the things that helped you get perspective ❤️
Thank you for your comment,that helped alot.🙏❤️
Social media has destroyed an entire generation
It's wild....The internet is the greatest thing to happen to humanity and the worst at the same time
No, the algorithm that the Government controls has ruined the minds of the masses! People REFUSE to see the TRUTH and what’s really going on behind closed doors! The Government won’t tell you I’m Jesus Christ and how the 🕍 tortured my soul!! We live in a simulation! The 🕍 at the “top” of the pyramid aKA “food chain” are 🪳
Facts
#peace dopamine101
It's a lot more complex, but yeah social media is a big factor... and parents working more and more for THE SAME pay.
Underrated tip: doing errands is great for your mental health. I love errands on a Saturday.
Me too. After years of working weekends it's honestly a luxury to have the day off and run errands. 😊
Whatd you do for work before@@16handsoffunfunfun
Also volunteering.
What is errands?
Love running errands! It's actually a job, Google it. It's called "errand runner." Where I live in CA it starts at $20 an hour👌
Millennial here. Been through the bottom of mental illness. I’m over it now and living an amazing life. #1 thing that helps me is waking up and getting tf out of bed early in the morning. Around 7am. Life changing for me.
Some excellent points were made. We have 2 girls in college, and the amount of depression and anxiety among this generation is shocking! Between social media, the weight of the world's issues, financial struggles and job insecurity it's easy to see why. Oh and don't forget social anxiety too.
Agree and changing from your pajamas
@@lilibear62 yes. Rates of depression etc are at an all time high. I think they are also higher in women. Social media is a huge factor.
True, but 5am is even better.
@@RicoWorldPeace yeah, I actually got up at 5 today. Alarm was for 6:30 but sunrise got me up. 7 I think is reasonable because that means you can kinda wind down around 9pm, chill out, read a book or whatever. 10pm you’re brushing teeth plugging in your phone. Sleep occurs from 11pm-7am. It’s just a little more reasonable since my wife is a little bit of an evening person and I get to spend more time with her. I used to do 3am wake ups because I’d hit the gym before my construction job. That means in bed asleep by 7pm. That was crazy.
I have friends who do therapy and they literally have never gotten any less depressed or anxious, just more pretentious and willing to talk about thier problems 24/7. Thank you for articulating this!!!!
Get out and LIVE!! Why go to a screwed up individual to get advice??? Open your mind to God and Jesus. Go outside and hike, fish, hunt, ski, white water raft, etc! Lift weights and don’t take shit from ANYONE! So it and lose a bit of who you are each time. Fight em willingly knowing you might get hurt or worse with NO fear is AWESOME!!!! Believe me. I KNOW!!! This is the secret sauce. F most people. Get in my shit and find out!!!! Love friends and family and live with NO fear!!!
Hello❤🎉 from Mother Father of all creation our creators are in the physical flesh please phone home today in this special lifetime to heal and live joy! Stop destruction intents
It doesn’t work! I dated a chick for years who was in therapy on and off for large portions of that time. Did she improve her coping mechanisms or conflict resolution skills… NOPE
I listen to a lot of comedy podcasts and a few comedians in particular I thought of while listening to this 😂
Therapy works, but just like with drugs, some people misuse them. These friends you are talking about would have used other methods to get attention if therapy isn't the popular thing right now. Therapy didn't make them insufferable, they are insufferable to begin with. Therapy has helped lots of people, especially people who suffers a from abuse, to learn tools to love themselves and skills to cope with life. If Jeffery Dahmer had gotten therapy and psychiatric medicine, he probably wouldn't eat people. He eats people to find a connection, dude doesn't know how to form a bond with people without eating them.
What she says in the end here is the key. There is nothing wrong with feeling *all* emotions, including unpleasant or undesirable ones like anxiety or sadness, etc. All emotions are important and beneficial for different reasons. It's when you try to avoid or suppress these emotions when problems and disorders start to happen. For some reason we've come to believe that if you feel bad once in a while and aren't happy all the time then there is something wrong with you. And that couldn't be further from the truth. You can't have joy without sadness, just like there is no light without darkness. That is how it works. Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.
We can't come unless you give your name! What you say I utterly agree with though the key is how we "frame" this. It is the endless mental chatter that we identify with that feeds identification with the so-called negative emotions. In truth it is quite possible we have learnt to think of many of these as negative when they're actually just energy. The trick is watching thoughts and seeing they are NOT who we are. They are for the most part habitual conditioning.
But would love to watch your talk if you say who you are or send a link. Take care
Thank you, for your Ted Talk 😂
@@davidwatermeyer5421he was joking smh
An amazing TED Talk. 😁
I’m a millennial. I grew up dealing with horrible anxiety. Frequent panic attacks. Saw therapists and was put on medication. Wasn’t until around five years ago when I discovered Jocko Willink, and shortly after, Stoicism, that finally things started to turn for me. I am more resilient and calmer than I’ve ever been. Stoicism gave me a completely new framework to approach life. While I’ve made a lot of progress, I’m not perfect, but I am making more progress than ever every day.
Lack of gratitude and accountability seems to be a large cause of peoples problems.
When I started being grateful for the smallest things my perception changed from focusing on everything thats wrong onto all the beautiful things in life. It's all there for you to see but you have to choose to see it. Feed the beast of anger/anxiety or feed beauty and gratitude, your choice. Sometimes its hard but the alternative is harder.
Well put, evolving bear.
It's hard to feel grateful when the ladder has been pulled up right before your eyes.
Good quote I heard from using the Waking Up app: "There's millions of people in the world who would literally kill to only have your problems"
Think it applies to 99% of people in America for sure
@@InspiredByReason Thats a mater of perception. Be grateful for the little things first. You got all your fingers and toes, your health, food. Ive been deathly sick, you don't realize how much you take health for granted until you don't have it.Start small.
@@theevolutionofthebear3093
Exactly.
My grandmother used to always say “Stop complaining and do something about it”.
She was bipolar and raised 6 kids and was hospitalized a few times. She struggled with mental illness but also knew you had to live your life and not wallow in the pain! I also have mood/panic disorder and I lived a full life, career, marriage, children. I had a few episodes where I had to stop and get help, but came back from the setback and kept going!
Now your children can suffer from a lifelong mood disorder as well! Great job!
The Myth of Mental Illness is a great book, back then it was simple "struggle or die." Today western culture will provide all you need to self destruct (affirmation, medication, payment from the state etc.) since there's no drive to struggle.
Imagine if you had really bad tooth pain that was all awareness-consuming and were expected to not talk to anyone about it. How would you feel about that?
Your grandmother is very wise and agree with everything she said
The mind can play tricks on you. It is self destructive to think that you are not supposed to go through life without pain, hurdles, obstacles and difficulties. That's part of being a human being. So being told to get on with it is something that can sometimes be the answer you need to hear and not the thing you want to hear. The tooth pain is coming from a specific place and therefore you can do something about it. @@ckoperni
The best two things my therapist would say to me:
1. "My job is to give you the tools so you don't need me. We're trying to work me out of a job."
2. At the end of a session where she felt I was fine, she'd say, "Let's not book anything until you think you really need me." Sometimes that was weeks or months or years.
Therapy is great when you need it. But you should be building a skillset with the therapist's support that eventually makes them irrelevant.
EXACTLY!!
I have schizoaffective (combo of schizophrenia and bipolar) im 24 now and havent had an episode in 3 years due to sticking to treatment, the right meds, resilience and focusing on self care like journalling. If you want to get better sometimes falling on your face hard helps you realise like fck i need to do better and be better. My second psychosis 3 yrs ago came about because i stopped medication and thought i was healthy again. My ex ended things during my last psychosis and it hurt me so much because i realised i lost him and i lost myself in not treating my illness seriously and accpting that. It was a growth oppurtunity i see now and a huge life lesson.
I have schizophrenia. My last episode was when Ukraine war started. I live in Russia. So it was stressful. I stopped my medication and I am still ok. As soon as I understand sometimes it torments you for years and then as mysteriously as it appeared it just as mysteriously disappears. I wish you never experience another episode.
I have a son with autism and a younger daughter. My daughter told me she had ADHD when she was 14. Self diagnosed lol. I knew she was fine. Just human. We had already gone through the steps of diagnosing my son with ADHD years before this, which took years. Literally. I entertained my daughter with a trip to a therapist thinking the therapist would tell her she was fine. I sat in a waiting room for 45 minutes and the therapist came to me and said she definitely had ADHD and they would hook her up with drugs right away (without talking to anyone but my daughter). Mind you, my son had MOUNTAINS of questionnaires that had to be filled out by any adult that had contact with him to be diagnosed with this just 6 years earlier. That's when I realized NO therapist is going to tell you that you're ok. That destroys their customer base. This is why every part of being human is now a "condition". They have made an industry out of feelings.
ADHD is really heritable btw so if your son has ADHD, that makes it considerably more likely his sister has it too
Therapists and psychologists can’t prescribe medication. Only psychiatrists can
@@Andrewoo99ADHD is not real. Describe to me a single shared trait between those with “ADHD”. Not shared behaviors. Not shared thought processes. A gene, a bio marker, a brain structure.
You can’t because no sure shared trait exists. ADHD is medicalization of a personality type. If you know anything about evolution by natural selection you can clearly see how advantageous the so-called “disorder” would have been in our evolutionary environment.
My mom has always been the only person to say I don't have ADHD in a sea of people telling me I do have ADHD. I feel like I wasted years believing I did and it made my focus worse instead of working to improve it. I had the perfect excuse to be lazy with my attention and speech. I'm working on it now and it's slow and a conscious effort but I believe it's working. Being deficient in crucial vitamins and minerals have contributed to it as well so I'm doing that in tandem. Maybe hard to pinpoint which is helping more, but I do feel it's both.
Oh you got that from your random facts in your cereal box@@Andrewoo99
Gabor Mate mentioned in a video, that a study showed that during wartime depression goes away. There is a sense of purpose, helping others and survival that overtakes ruminating. This has stuck with me.
I can see how that would work. Strange how prosperity breeds its own set of problems.
Maybe before social media.
Love Gabor Mate, where did you see this?
Gabor Mate is phenomenal, his discussions about addiction, trauma, and child-rearing are life-changing.
I’ve heard that too, also when your mind is on higher “hierarchy of needs “ type situations when you have more stress and things to do your mind doesn’t have time to think exhaustively about your feelings, it’s too busy with survival and getting by
As a nineties kid, we went to school full time and had jobs at 13-14 years old so we could get a car, save money for the future or help our parents out. But we were outside more in nature, had real human connections and contacts and more importantly we didn’t have social media. Social media, in my humble opinion, is a major factor for these issues.
social media is so useful, but insanely dangerous considering mental health effects in my opinion
That's true but people work full time and can't afford basic necessities. Kids see the "grown ups" struggle because the economy is bad and wages are low. All I'm saying is it's different now, in tje 90s we could get a bs job and afford to buy and do stuff. These kids today? They get called lazy because they won't work a sht job for sht pay smh
It can be but also it's hard to explain to the older generations how them having to work and stuff at 13-14 years old is actually a major route cause of a lot of their trauma that they don't understand. That was so wrong that you all had to do that even if the outcome is perceived as great because in reality you weren't allowed to be a kid you were stripped of it early.
@@christjosh8853I worked at 13 and I still had a childhood. I only worked on the weekends 5 hours a day. I liked the idea earning money and owned at beater car when I hit 16 .
@@christjosh8853what?? We wanted to work and make money to buy vehicles and other stuff our parents couldn’t afford for us. Over I know in the 90’s at school tried get their driving permit at 15 so they had enough time under their belt to get their DL at 16. It was great. We taught to not be victims and take responsibility for our actions and also to be respectful. Can’t say the same for gen z.
A couple thoughts:
1. Resilience is an invaluable life skill that is so underrated. The only way you develop resilience is by experiencing failure and disappointment, and then coming out of it ok, or likely even better than you were before. You gain confidence knowing that you can do hard things, and experience difficulties and get through them. I see so many young people who haven’t developed resilience because instead of persevering and doing the hard thing, they just don’t even try.
2. Her point about depression being motivating… Wow did that hit home for me. For context I’m 48 and I’m currently experiencing a health issue that I’m determined to beat. For over 2 years I’ve done 2 different jobs at work. The 2nd job I was basically tricked into doing and didn’t have the spine to say “I’m not doing the work of 2 people” - until recently. I grew a pair and told my boss I’d do the 2nd job 2 days a week until they find somebody else, but long term, I’m not going to do it anymore. If I hadn’t had this health issue come up I never would’ve been motivated to stand up for myself and do something I should’ve done 2 years ago.
3. Ok one more thing. This is my experience with people who are in therapy…. I’ve found when people have had a lot of therapy, they tend to get very self absorbed and they don’t take responsibility for their own actions. They could be 60 years old and still blame their childhood when they behave badly. They absolutely refuse to apologize even when they’ve wronged someone and see themselves as the perpetual victim, which only adds to their problems. Being able to take responsibility for one’s own actions and know that you HAVE CONTROL because you’re not just a product of “trauma”, is very empowering and good for people. But a therapist who is sitting across from the person who’ll pay for their next vacation, won’t tell people that.
This comment has done wonders for me. Thank you
To your 3rd point my wife is 55 years old and has been going to therapy for 4 years she is exactly that person you have described
Someone's been paying attention.;) i hope you have decades of health ahead...
I was 10 years old when I lived through the Cuban Missile Crisis in 1962. For a kid of that era it was a relatively brief period of great traumatic stress that had a beginning, middle and an end in an otherwise "free range" childhood. As a retired therapist when I try to understand Gen-Z - I can't help but contrast their childhood to mine. This generation grew up with the "chronic traumatic stress" of a sort of "non-stop Cuban Missile Crisis" - with the supposed "adults in the room" constantly scaring the hell of them. For two+ decades the mantra has been - "there could be another terrorist attack at any time anywhere," "Orange Alert," "Red Alert," "if you see something - say something," "climate change is going to kill us all," "we only have five more years to save the planet or we're doomed," "covid will kill us all - or if not, the next pandemic will," and endless variations on the theme of imminent apocalypse. In other words this generation has grown up contending with a sort of chronic unresolvable fear response - in reaction to things "they are powerless to control" - all because of endless bat-shit crazy government propaganda operations aimed at controlling the minds of we adults. Perhaps these kids mental health has ended up as another form of - "collateral damage" - as the psychopaths in charge like to refer to it. We are watching these same kids now retreat into the fantasy world of "gender- ideology," and 'trigger warnings," and "canceling speakers they disagree with," and claiming that - "words can be violence." Maybe there is more to be unpacked in understanding "why" they can interpret "language" to be "violence." Maybe telling kids for two straight decades that the planet's going to be uninhabitable next year - "IS IN FACT "WORDS" - AS VIOLENCE." Just a thought.
This.
The other form of fear is school shootings. My kids are growing up with active shooter response drills during school. I can’t imagine what that does to your psyche.
My son has now added solar flares to the list of things to fear everyday
@@anybodyoutthere3208CME is a legitimate threat to electronics and the power grid, especially since we’re approaching the solar maximum, and scientists expect it to last longer than usual
Hi Gary, I was trying to find my thoughts on why I disagreed with this speaker and I think you summed it up. I do agree with some things she said, like wallowing in our pains and that those tough emotions becoming a catalyst for something great. But sometimes I get upset because gen z is looked at as losers/kids who need to get their shit together but it does feel like we are just a product of our environment. Not to mention, we grew up in the boom of electronics and social media that greatly impacted us. I want others to realize that we are great kids, we are just lacking our sense of security and safety. Sincerely Lily (born ‘98)
Nervousness has been replaced with anxiety, sadness with depression, bad memories with PTSD, concentration with hyper focus, quirky with autistic, particularity with OCD. Basically what has happened is all aspects with everyone's personalities suddenly evolved into mental health buzzwords pushed along by tiktok and aided by better help. I can have a change in mood or a reaction to something without needing to psycho analyze myself and that's something everybody needs to relearn.
Dude… That needs to be shouted from the house tops. Well said.
Everything and everyone is trauma, ADHD, etc etc.
But what if you actually have autism? These mfs who fake ruin it for people who actually have it, I've felt different from anyone ever since I was toddler, it's some innate thing in me, different from you gen x
Exactly bro I think it has to do w self diagnosis along w tik tok telling them to be comfortable with being mediocre
from psychoanalysis to psycho analysis!
Thanks I'll be here all week.
I think this is so true. I remember a few years ago I used to be extremely anxious about my appearance and my loneliness, I went to counseling at my school and did all these paper work and reflection about why I feel the way I did, but I still felt like shit. It wasn't until I just got tired of feeling like that and , stopped going, stopped thinking so much about my anxieties, and started doing things I enjoy, that I finally stopped feeling miserable. Now I'm sure my problems are not solved and deep inside they are still present, but I think that stopping thinking about them and find them a meaning ( as I used to do) is a step in the right direction
Something that helped me is forgetting my weaknesses avoiding my weaknesses pretending. They didn't exist and purposely walking around them mentally spiritually.
However I needed to so I could always stay on the path of my strength. never forget to fake it until you make it.
Correct. My twin killed himself. I went to therapy afterward but soon realized it was not helping at all, and it cost $230 a session. Talking about your feelings can help but not to someone who is getting paid to listen. We need to find someone who wants to listen. That's the key.
Denial is a useful tool for some of us. I genuinely believe that we are being encouraged to suffer but have no idea why.
What do you do when you don’t like anything
@@CB13212 just force yourself to do something everyday or every other day. A short walk. Put on a good upbeat (ish) song and sing to it. Every day. Just one thing. Then add another and another at as fast or slow pace as you can't. Anything to stop yourself from ruminating on negatives and how bad you feel. It's like reprogramming the thoughts in your head. Sorry I'm rubbish at explaining myself but I hope you got it. Wish you well.
My biggest realization in therapy was that after I had gotten my initial feelings and emotions out, my sessions became me knowing how to fix my problems but talking to my therapist like I didn’t because I wanted someone else to fix them or something random to happen. I got better once I took action and helped myself. Talking helps but it only goes so far. If you have the answer to your problem, even if it’s scary you have to push through
Something that has been coming up a lot in my life lately is the idea that it is better to serve than be selfish. Serving others moves your attention off of yourself and gives you the chance to become happy by making others happy.
I agree and I think this is an important realization that would help a lot of people. Many are obsessed with figuring out how to improve themselves so much that they never have any problems or ever feel bad. Self actualization is like a religion at this point, but fundamentally it is corrupt-- focusing on yourself so much will lead to anxiety around how you are perceived, if you're good enough, etc.
We have to get outside of ourselves and ask, what can I do for others? And whatever the answer to that question is will bring you more purpose and fulfillment than anything you can do for yourself.
Then people see u as weak and vulnerable, someone they have in their pocket at all times
@@angelzarate7884 you are ultimately responsible for your own well-being, and serving someone at your own expense is not healthy. you are totally allowed to set boundaries to protect yourself from people who would manipulate you.
This is exactly what Jordan Peterson said. The more you focus on yourself, the worse you'll be.
and as social creatures that is inherently good for us, being on AA showed that to me, as im a person who truly enjoy's my solitude time when im helping people around me.
I am a Kindergarten teacher (26 years) and I can vouch for the extreme change in children over the last 10 years.
Joe’s guest is spot on in regards to all the “focusing on your emotions”… the programs focused on making sure children felt they were in a “safe space and to express feelings.” Feelings which my little friends did not even understand- horrible program.
“Safe space” insinuates there is danger around you - focusing on creating fake negative feelings caused massive issues which did not even exist, prior to this “program.”
Do you have a large portion of minority children in your classes? They do tend to have more trauma in their lives? And more pedophilia is being exposed as of late.
Same goes with inclusion programs. It presupposes that you aren't included.
Bingo 🎯 The safe spaces and talking about emotions is not a good thing. If you want to talk emotions why don't the parents try to get writing class to do a free journaling thing for like 10 minutes.
feminism has been an absolute disaster. people don't see the connection between letting women into power and the sudden thrust towards everything needing to be about safety and emotions. These are fine when they left to the private sphere of family where women ruled but now they have been promoted at a much larger level throughout society and our social institutions as more and more women enter into these spheres. Men need to assert some authority otherwise this will end badly for our society.
It's a big problem in the trades. We get these young kids and they are not following instructions properly, even after having them repeat what you want done. So later on when you ask them what happened and why didn't they follow the instructions they were given, they get offended and quiet. I have to stay on them in order to change them. They have to get used to being held responsible for their actions.
I’m a therapist and one of the first things I always recommend is exercise, eating healthier and getting OUT of your head and into the world. Any good therapist should know this stuff.
Also a therapist and yes I agree with you
Yep. Therapist here too. I always start with "natural mood-lifters" i.e. sunshine, exercise, positive social connections and positive words.
You guys rock! Movement and not ruminating on self will help a heck of a lot. Thanks Therapists. 😊
Not a therapist, but my experience with my kids is this is 100% true. And one of many reasons playing sports is so important.
But then they might actually get better and you won’t make money
My son battled cancer twice and the attitude we had as a family made it to where we all came out stronger/more resilient. Yes there are moments of anxiety especially when he gets sick, but as the years pass it gets easier to deal with. It makes me proud to see my kiddos with such strong characters that know they are well loved and with a support system internally and externally that will help them get through any difficult situation.
Abigail Shreir is awesome. So glad to see someone calling out the mental health industry. I believe they've adopted the big pharma model of "treat forever, never cure" they've also driven the idea that everyone has trama and everyone needs therapy.
100%
almost everyone does have trauma, it just affects everyone differently. not everyone needs therapy, but everyone does need healing and love.
Right, nobody ever gets cured of anything...
She’s also only seems to be talking about college students. That self selects for mostly girls, and upper class kids. I’m working class, my family is working class, our kids are much different than the kids that go to my kids school. They’re not allowed to go outside and hangout. They’re 13 and can’t go outside and hang out.
Absolutely right
I was managing a designer clothing department at Nordstrom two years ago which had a lot of Gen Z employees. This particular department was special because it was an invite only department because of the specialized knowledge you needed to sell the clothing, and the potential for way higher commission earnings. One day, my only employee scheduled for the day (23 year old gen z guy) said he didn’t wanna be there and he needed a mental health day. I asked him, “what would you do if you go home right now?” And he said he would lay down and watch a movie. I told him that there is NO difference in being at work vs watching a movie, so he might as well stay at work and get paid and also that he was my only employee that day and we needed him. He reluctantly stayed. By the end of the day he came up to me and said he had his best sales day of his career (he sold over $9k in clothes which is about a $900 commission for one day of work) and he was so happy. I looked at him and said, “yeah bro, imagine if I let you go home and waste your whole day feeling bad about nothing.” And he just laughed and said yeah. Anyways, the point of this story is stuff like this happened EVERY WEEK, and I managed almost 30 people!! Gen Z was super hard to deal with (and I’m technically a Zillenial, born late 1995 so not quite a millennial and not quite Gen Z).
You’re a millennial buddy 97 is the first year and even that’s iffy
Its well known that Gen Z is very soft and weak minded. Mental illness is sky high among Gen Z especially if they lean politically liberal according to polls that have been taken.
Gen Z kids have also been coddled too much. For example when Trump won the presidency in 2016 some universities were offering emotional support to students. WTF! I've heard of universities also doing this when certain speakers come on campus. Safe spaces. They treat these young adults like babies.
@@elg2702I’m also born in 95 where I find myself stuck in between two generations
@@elg270296*
“I went to therapy once and all she tried to do was make me hate my Dad” -Shane Gillis
I remember that! 😂
this is truer than people even know
Ngl, a lot of Shane’s issues appear, to me, to stem directly from his father.
Idk him though 🤷♂️
@@jay3898 what issues? Seems like the dude is doing pretty well in life.
I want and they just kept asking how does that make you feel to everything I said. While looking at the clock very obviously just waiting for the hour to be over so they can go home. 😂😂😂
I think she's right about the rumination thing. In recent years I've come to realize that I actually don't need or even want to know the whys of every problem I have. I don't need to dig into every trauma and every negative thought I've ever had. I just need to overcome the problems.
I went to a therapist from late 2020 - late 2022.Probably round 20 sessions.I had become increasingly depressed and hopeless in life and was having constant suicidal thoughts.She really helped me as she gave me some strategies and plans for dealing with my depression and anxiety and helped my structure my life better.It's the best decision I ever made but most of what she told me was basic common sense and good old fashioned advice, not some wonder cure.I think that is generally what good therapy can be just helping the person help themselves to live a better life.
@Kittyscraftcorner-ud6ijthere are a lot of reasons for this. We have more broken families that don’t talk anymore, often families members live far apart sometimes even on different continents, often older relatives also can’t understand the more „modern“ problems of younger people (talking about generational conflicts) and so on. I don’t think that a going back to what is was is going to be easy bc the world is just drastically different. And maybe „common sense therapists“ are the solution for that.
Therapy is the best thing I’ve ever done. It has saved my life and because of it I have grown tremendously. I have Bipolar II disorder, high-functioning autism, and ADD, and I will probably be in it most, if not all, of my life. I’d have to disagree that it is common sense, not even disagree. It's more of a fact. If you have a good therapist, they will challenge you and make you think in ways you’ve never thought before. They will give you psychoeducation on trauma, relationships, and mental illness. If you look at our parent's generation (Gen X and above), you’ll see none of this is common sense. I am 28, and I am around people my age who don’t know what a healthy relationship is or are blind to the fact that they are repeating their childhood trauma. I am very self-educated in psychology through years of my reading and therapy. It’s wild this author is just here talking to talk without knowing anything about therapy, how it works, trauma, or psychology. She’s just spewing nonsense. I can name tons of books from Ph. D.s and psychologists with master's degrees that I’ve read. There’s a reason therapists need master's degrees and Ph. D.s. It isn’t all just common sense. They have fMRIs that essentially prove that therapy changes the brain. It rewires our neural pathways. People spend their lives studying this, and there is a reason they are called professionals.
@Kittyscraftcorner-ud6ijI don't go to therapy, but the obvious reason why family isn't good for this is because of conflict of interests. Normal people also haven't been trained like therapists. It's effectively a crap shoot for advice. Family members also have emotions and egos that can be hurt
Read the _Tao Te Ching._
"Regarding muddy water: the more you try to stir the dirt out of it, the murkier it gets... leave it alone, and the dirt will settle out by itself."
Taoism is such a brilliant philosophy.
I like that. The Law of Reverse Effect
Even better read the bible, the word of God, not just of man.
2 Timothy 1:7: For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.
Psalm 55:22: Cast your burden on the Lord, and he will sustain you; he will never permit the righteous to be moved.
Philippians 4:6: Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.
Hebrews 13:6: So we can confidently say, “The Lord is my helper; I will not fear; what can man do to me?”
Joshua 1:9: Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”
Matthew 6:34: “Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.
@bendover0421 absolutely! 🙏❤️. I also love Psalms 23:4 and Ephesians 5:8
So "don't work on your problems" - not good advice for anything.
I remember when I got back from the psych ward after an unalive attempt when I was younger. I had undiagnosed bipolar depression and was just starting treatment. My family asked me what they could do to help me, and I told them straight up, act like nothing is wrong. Don't treat me like I'm sick. Please, just treat me like everything is normal. If things around me feel normal, I feel better. If I'm having depressive thoughts, I'll talk to the therapist who helps me through them. I'll talk to my psychiatrist about changing up meds. But from my family, from my environment, I want stability and positivity.
If everyone around me is constantly asking me if everything is okay and do I feel good today? I'm going to be thinking about why everything is _not_ okay all the time. Treating me like I'm depressed made me more depressed. I needed support and love, but not coddling. A hug and a "You'll be okay" goes a long way.
I was the same as you but I won’t demonize parents/families who check up on their mentally ill family members🙌
I hated the “you’ll be ok” I wasn’t ok, that just made it seem like they didn’t really give a flip just wanted me to shut up.
Whats unalive
@@hittman1412 Unalive refers to an action someone takes that results in someone no longer being alive. In my context, it means I tried to do something that would have resulted in me no longer being alive.
It's a word that has to be used on a lot of platforms because the actual word for it has been deemed too violent by places like tiktok and youtube, and comments mentioning it get censored or videos with it get demonetized. It's not people trying to censor because they want to be sensitive, it's because dumb social media companies think saying certain non-curse words are "too obscene" for kids to read.
So if I said like, person A unalived person B, I'm saying that person A did something that resulted in person B no longer being alive, because using the actual word, "Person A m*rdered person B" would get censored on numerous platforms.
This is something that my lady and i have talked about. The difference of how we were raised and how it has effected how we handle emotions and stress. She's asked me "when the world is crumbling and burning around you, or you feel like you're in complete darkness, how do you get up and go to work and get stuff done? Or do you not feel these things that deep?"
She had been raised in a very codependent household with people who have a lot of trouble controlling their emotions. I was raised in a more independent household. A father that buried most of his emotions (other than anger) and a mother who held it together when times were tough.
And i tell her "Because the way i was raised, and the life that.i have lived, i constantly plan for worst case scenarios. I live by worst case scenarios. That's why when that moment hits, I rarely freeze up. Because my mind has already prepared for it, and has the next step ready to keep going."
Thats me, a fixer a rescuer
Years ago, my aunt lost her husband to Alzheimer's. It was a slow and agonizing death. Towards the end she had to put curtains up in the living room because he would see his reflection in the glass sliding doors at night and either try to talk to "that man" or be so scared "he was after him". Years later, after I had been married for a while, I began to have a deeper understanding of how hard that had to have been, and the weight of that hit me so hard I cried (and I don't cry). I see her about once a year at Thanksgiving, so the next Thanksgiving I went up to her and said how much respect I had for her going through that - she stuck with him to the very end. Her response to me was simple. She said, "I come from a tough family, and that's just what we do." She's a child of the Greatest Generation - an actual Boomer. We have a lot to learn from previous generations, and I'm inspired and thankful to call her "family."
I miss my strong and wise grandma who just passed❤️ I learned so much from her which I hope to pass down to my future family someday. I genuinely believe it was a greater generation of stronger folks. We can deff learn something!
@@a1islamovic It *definitely* was "a greater generation of stronger folks." My dad grew up in the 1930s; he was an old man by the time I was born. When I think about how he raised me, and what he taught me, and compare it to my friends' parents, who were generally born in the late 50s or early 60s...I was very lucky.
The "greatest generation" was the WWI survivors. My parents were the "Silent Generation" and I'm an old boomer. I wouldn't say boomers were great. But they did figure out when relatively young what the "Establishment" was up to and did what they could to neutralize them.
The "greatest generation" because they supported mass murder that didn't need to happen and "supported the government" which now spies on us all steals our wealth and has murdered millions to profit the weapons companies and the banks.
See the brainwash there??
My parents are boomers.. boomers ruined this country the greatest generation made this country
"Getting out of your house and accomplishing anything is good for you."
It is a sad realization that our young people need to hear this.
Well said.
Or, you're out of touch.
This was a strange propaganda piece. In written history, this cliche of the youth just not being what the last generation was, first appeared in written history when ancient Greece was the big deal. Rome hadn't even happened yet.
As a 30 year old millenial, I’m glad these types of conversations are finally becoming mainstream. My generation has been dealing with this since our 20’s because of the rise of modern predatory social media since 2012 when apps like Facebook and Instagram really started to take off and attract constant social media addiction use within my generation.
To be fair, it’s more difficult now to “get out of your house and accomplish something”, because accomplishing something usually costs money or relies on the cooperation of other people. Wages have stagnated, degree requirements have inflated, and it’s harder to meet people because everything can be done online.
As if you can't accomplish anything inside your house?
Where you're less likely to run into a psychopath or pick up a pathogen.
What is it that you want accomplished?
The part she said after 13:20 regarding "we need to make a change" was me in 2016. I had a major mental breakdown and depressive episode and what got me out of it was essentially writing down a plan of where I wanted my life to go. 8 years later and my life is infinitely better because of this decision.
Good for you, man! Even accepting a change needs to be made is too much for some. Rooting for you, brother!
I feel you. It was 1991 for me. Seems forever ago, but that's just the point. I was crippled by depression. Diagnosed myself after so doing a ton of research (old school - no internet) to figure out what was wrong with me. I did get help from a couple of counselors, one who wanted to put me on medication, but I refused. Made him so mad, but I could already see the light at the end of the tunnel and didn't want to risk messing that up. Over the years, I've had setbacks, dealt with things much harder than what I was dealing with then. The difference is that I had no skills then to deal with them, but now I do, and with every new thing I face, they expand. I am so grateful I didn't take any shortcuts. I'm so grateful I fought my way free from depression in those young years instead of looking to someone else for the solution. I hope you are encouraged by my testimony, not that you need it. You're doing great.
Good for you. As an old woman, I can tell you, you'll go places in life. Taking the initiative to make a plan for your life - an important skill. Proud of you!
I feel everyone should have a 5-10-15-25 yr plan even if it’s bullshit i had an outline of what I wanted to accomplish long term and @ 54 today
Hit my goals prematurely
W o the plan.. i feel I would have strayed
Yes. Too many people are stuck focusing on the problem when the solution is what they need.
A good therapist will guide in that direction. But there is an epidemic of bad therapists and patients don’t know how to determine the quality of care they’re receiving.( tip: you should feel validated and supported, like things finally make sense. You should be getting moments of clarity and tools for handling life more effectively. 3 sessions without having these feelings? Try a different therapist. You should feel you have an insightful ally to guide you through. That is their job. )
I’m 23, I’ve lost friends, family, hell I’ve even had to hold my friend in my arms and give him cpr to bring him back. It’s hard to say and do, but you gotta just think of everything as character building and a learning moment about yourself. Then you move on to the next part of life. Life always moves forward, you gotta make sure you’re moving with it❤
Man, that’s wild bro. I think the tougher you get over things the more equipped you are to help someone else who’s overcome great adversity or trials. Unfortunately, and it’s the hardest thing to do but watching someone go thru hell but you can only help by support.
Therapist here. Good therapists want clients to feel better, but they want them to utilize their own coping skills and support networks rather than build emotional dependence on a therapist. I regularly ask kids in my office questions like “how will we know when treatment is successful?” If the answer is “when my anxiety and depression goes down to zero” then we have a whole other topic to discuss on the wisdom of emotions- excitement and sadness included- and building resilience in the face of stressors.
Therapy is fake. They need Yahushua. Praise Yahweh.
Thank you for this your described it much better than I tried to do in this thread
How much do you charge? Lol
There are good therapists and approaches out there that focus on resilience. Unfortunately like many fields, we also have our fair share of malpractice and bad therapists working in the field. It’s so hard to find the good ones because people don’t want to be trying different therapists until one clicks for them. As a therapist, the first conversation with a client should touch the topic of “ok this is not a service for the rest of your life, what do we need to do to get you to graduate these services and no longer need me”
Then stop providing "therapy". If you're a social worker or masters level therapist, you do more harm than good while not keeping abreast of clinical literature. Social workers have the lowest iqs of any college major. Self serving justice warrior.
I'm glad someone is speaking about this issue. Anxiety is a baseline emotion. The four base emotions are happy, sad, afraid, and angry. Anxiety is a nuanced version of afraid. Depression is a nuanced version of sad. An anxiety or depressive disorder is when it is pervasive without a logical trigger. Most of the time people are depressed and anxious for a reason. The over-use of these terms as disorders drives me wild. You're supposed to feel depressed after abandonment. You're supposed to feel anxious towards the unknown. Those aren't examples of disordered thinking.
1st world people so detached from nature and anything natural, to the point that human emotion is foreign to them, and hard to describe. Animals have anxiety because it keeps them alive, animals without anxiety get into situations that kill them, or when they are to afraid they miss out on situations that will develop them, like public speaking.
incredible insight, thank you!
I dated a woman with severe anxiety disorder and she hated how comfortable people bring up anxiety in small situations. Slight emotional distress isn’t anxiety. And we naturalize feeling any type of negative emotion is bad. It is part oh human nature to feel things; in both spectrums.
You know there are criteria for diagnosing depression and they are not just feeling sad right?? right??? Or you are just expressing an opinion on a very spesific matter that you have no idea about?
@@ffcrazy Yes, I do know that. A mood disorder is classified as persistent low or high mood that lasts for over two weeks without any known cause. Most people are depressed and anxious because they are under extreme stress and do not realize or address it. That is not disordered thinking. That is the body using it's natural stress response (fight, flight, or freeze). In most cases, extreme moods balance over time after making lifestyle changes. With disordered thinking, no amount of lifestyle change can help without medical intervention.
A common example is SSRI medication intervention with depressive disorders. A depressive brain makes serotonin, but does not hold onto it for very long. Someone with a true depressive disorder can exercise, eat a great diet, socialize, get sunlight, etc... but none of it will matter because all of the feel good chemicals get thrown out immediately. Taking an SSRI locks the escape door so that serotonin can linger long enough to have an effect. SSRIs do not create serotonin on their own and are only effective with a healthy lifestyle. That's a big reason why those medications do not work for many patients-- they are not making lifestyle adjustments to create enough serotonin in the first place.
First and last time I went to therapy, it was a group therapy for adults struggling with ADHD. I went in thinking it was going to be about learning and came out realizing it was for people to talk about themselves and the therapist to offer condolences, exactly as stated in this interview. And now I realize I wouldn't have overcome so many challenges if I was offered an excuse earlier in life to get out of hard work.
@@brokenhanz-o4m "bro don't mention ibogaine, you're scaring the hoes away"
Group therapy is about interpersonal learning and attachment repair. If you find yourself hating it and being woefully independent, that’s likely your interpersonal strategy that both helps you and generates a lot of your problems
doesnt mean therapy in concept is bad, it means few people use it appropriately.....just like everything else humans do
Means the therapist sucks, need someone who tells the truth
@@Summonick2 I'm not an introspective person, so I can't tell you if I agree or disagree. I think it was just a bad therapy environment. The therapist rubbed me the wrong way when she took what I said as a pity statement since that was mostly what was going on. Also the main topic of discussion was anxiety and depression, which I don't struggle with. The only helpful thing anyone said was a woman describing her positive experience with Ritalin. I have no problem empathizing with people, it just felt like I was at the wrong meeting. So if this is just how therapy is, I don't think it's beneficial to me.
I had horrific postpartum depression (several factors were involved) and antidepressants were the first suggestion my obgyn went with. I didn’t take them because I wanted to actually work on the factors I knew were contributing to it. Things were awful and my relationship with my husband struggled a LOT. But it forced us to figure out what needed to change and how to make things work. I don’t regret not taking them (and our baby is healthy and happy)!
I spent damn near 30 years bottling my emotions. not into drugs, but i would always find something to erase how i feel. tried therapy a couple times. they really just annoy me after a while bc they all never understood that i am always going to feel this way. that dark stain is always going to be there. No matter what. but yet here i am still making it happen. shouts to yall for not giving up. love yall.
Yup, you work through it physically and mentally
Do they have to understand you? My understanding of therapy is that they were supposed to help guide you out of that thing they diagnosed you for. Therapy is not a place for you to be understood or to seek inspirational wisdom
You can make it whatever you want
Dude I know exactly what you are talking about. The feeling that darkness is the fundamental core of your being. It would come up for me especially when high on marijuana or mushrooms. Not the feeling that I was filthy but that I WAS filth and darkness itself in my very being.
It was washed away in baptism. That feeling is gone. Life is still hard but I have found a peace I could not have believed.
@chadpilled7913 thank you for sharing. I smoked herb for ½ my life. I can relate to how you describe it. I also was raised to "be a man", "shake it off and keep going", all that bullshit. I have a 8yr old son now and I protect his light/innocence bc nobody protected mine. It's strange dealing with generational trauma. but look at us. we're still here. love you brother. be safe.
Social Worker here. Something that gets forgotten is that distress isn’t the only measurement upon which therapy/counseling should be decided. Diagnoses are determined not just by symptoms but the impact of those symptoms on a person’s functioning. Bad memories and bad feelings are just that. Anxiety when passing your old middle school is not fun, but so what?
Now if any of those bad memories or reactions significantly adversely affect your behavior or quality of life - for instance driving a mile out of your way on your daily commute to avoid passing your old school, or frequent nightmares, or panic attacks, or becoming physically violent with your spouse or child - then seeking professional help is something worth considering.
Exactly. ‘Anxiety helps your performance’ not if I don’t show up to the presentation
But what if the traumatic event isn't all that bad, and because people pushed the idea that it *is* when it wasn't, it created a horrifically false representation of a symptom that was no worse than breaking a toe? That's to say, what if someone was being convinced that their ant hill was indeed a mountain? THIS is the discussion being had. The latter seems to be on the rise.
@@AlexBizzar social media (as I assume you’re referring to by “people pushing the idea”) can’t just convince you into having a mental illness though. Now, life comparison as a result of social media can have an impact on your own perceived successes/failures which may yield a negative outcome. But I don’t think that the internet alone is gonna be the sole factor of someone experiencing severe, debilitating symptoms.
Also take into the fact that in cases that severe, symptoms had likely been occurring since childhood, but obviously diagnosis and mental health awareness was significantly different than what it is now.
Thank you.
I am a millennial. I grew up poor, my parents had a horrible abusive marriage. My dad remarried a crackhead that mentally abused me. My mom struggled with alcohol. I struggled with alcohol & drugs my teenage years. I always felt there was a light at the end of the tunnel. I moved out of state and made some positive changes. Then, my mom was killed by a drunk driver when I was 23. My grandparents who helped raise me died of broken hearts not long after that.
Life is hard. We rarely get through life without struggles and hardships. There have been some really dark moments in my life but I don’t let these moments define me. I don’t live my life looking through the lens of all the “trauma” I faced.
I am almost 33 years old, I am in a healthy happy marriage. I do not struggle with a single “mental health issue”. I feel grateful for my life everyday. I am happy
Good for you. You’ve been through a lot and survived.
God bless you
Life moves on, thanks for your post
That's how my life was. Traumatic childhood. Sexual abuse,foster homes, alcoholism. Went to college became a nurse. You can change your life. We all have choices.Im thankful everyday I'm alive.
You're a CHAMP and God bless you 🙏
As a child, at the age of ten I had bad anxiety and depression because of bad situations in my home. It was all gone when I found a bible and began reading and believing in it. My heart was filled with love for everyone and I had hope because of Jesus. Many years later I got anxiety and depression and postpartum and I fought it back with exercise, sleeping, healthy eating, prayer and drinking plenty of water. If any of those was out of wack I felt the symptoms. Eventually my hormones regulated and I got more sleep.
I am 63. I started having panic attacks when my kids were young. I saw it as satan trying to steal my life and I started talking myself down from them realizing they never killed me just made me feel like a fool. After a couple of years I would get anxious about something and just laugh to myself it had no control over me it was all in my head!! Anyone can do that. I felt bad for all the young people who ran straight to the doctor for strong medication. You have to start somewhere learning how to cope. PS Jesus/God is good!
Glory be to The Father, and to The Son, and to the The Holy Spirit. As it was in the beginning, is now, and ever shall be. World without end. Amen 🙏
I’m a firm believer that isolation and technology contribute the most to anxiety. Seems to me when times were simpler (no phones, tablets etc.) equaled less stress. I could be wrong. Just my opinion.
It absolutely contributes.
Not an opinion that's a fact.
Bingo! I said the same thing.
Try taking away their tablets and you'll see confusion/anger.
Too much attachment.
It's neither the technology nor the isolation. It's the ongoing culture wars established by democrats to turn all of western civilization into a crime-ridden Venezuela via third world immigration. Generation Z is being raised to hate white people and their own country. They are messed up because no one should be hating their own culture.
you are spitting straight up facts
I’m 42 with a 22 yr old son and I finally have gotten him to realize that this terrible situation will be a distant memory in a short time. Every day is new and if you move forward every day you will learn to live with your issues.
Well, not dealing with situations, especially if they are traumatic is not healthy. You can bury it all you want, but it will follow you.
Time isn't the only consideration in the equation.
@@vladimirofsvalbard9477 Okay then how would you recommend dealing with it?
My brother recently went behind my back and lied to others. Long story short, he has a history of racism. He became a democrat a couple years ago and became VERY anti racism, while still being a racist. His coping mechanism has been to accuse others of being racist. He and I had a bit of a falling out where I told him he needed to stop lying to other people saying that mutual friends had said things they never said; it doesn’t help him overcome the racist things he has said and done.
He then turned around and started telling our mutual friends I called someone the n word… which is absolutely not true. I talked to him about it, he denied it. Then I proved I knew and he had a panic attack and said he had to talk to his therapist about it. We tried talking again weeks later and he refused to acknowledge our previous conversations.
There’s only two options I have now. I can forgive him and move on, or I can cut him out of my life altogether.
Take a guess what a therapist told me I should do lol
Hello❤🎉 from Mother Father of all creation our creators are in the physical flesh please phone home today in this special lifetime to heal and live joy! Stop destruction intents
Take it with a grain of salt, but in my experience, the problem with this kind of advice is that it sounds too cliche and too far outside the experiential capacity of kids to register with them.
Kids don't live on the same timeline as adults, talking about how something won't affect them in the future is like telling them that they need to save for retirement, it doesn't matter to them because they don't live in the future yet. You have to speak to their current moment, because that's where they live, in the moment.
Kids have to be motivated to do something right now, often times even pressured beyond their comfort levels. You have to be real, speak to their current situation and not some generalized "We all go through this and come out better at some indeterminate point in the future" kind of reassurance. Again, just my experience.
It's like telling your son to live with a broken arm instead of getting it looked at by a professional. Animals do that, live with their injuries and suffer. Some don't heal very well and they die early. Humans live long because we have doctors. We have doctors for issues including trauma. Move with the times, dude.
Gen Z's fear of failure is a response to a society that increasingly does not allow for failure. We live in a super-optimized culture where every second has to be productive or else you're falling behind. Screwing up at a single choice in your life even as a kid could mean a severe change in the trajectory of your life. Going to jail once could prevent your admission into college; getting fired could leave you completely homeless; choosing the wrong major could leave you in thousands of dollars in debt with very little to show for it. Our society is extremely competitive and increasingly, a huge number of people are competing for a dwindling supply.
Back in the day it was easy to fail because there were more systems of support to fall back on and plenty of options for meaningful employment with possibilities of promotion. Those same opportunities are much more rare these days, and kids know this, so they have to play their cards extremely close to their chest and never, ever, make a mistake.
Can you give some examples of the support systems that don't exist today that previous generations had, or employment opportunities that don't exist anymore?
The way the US treats its workers and also the way the judicial system works, is a huge reason for everything you just said.
Society does not not provide the opportunities for success either. You can do everything right and proper, and it's still not enough.
I don't think there's anything wrong with the kids. They are just reflecting the state of society at large, and it is society that is ill.
@@aracnadei13church community and not changing residences every 3 years.
@@shrunkensimonagreed. I think it’s a case of garbage in, garbage out. Society is sick (dying, really), the people entering it are fully aware and it doesn’t sit well with them. No wonder they’re anxious!
I realized everything she said after 4 or 5 sessions I had in 2010 for grief. First and last attempt at therapy. Wonder if it will ever change. That's why the exceptional ones like Jordan Peterson stand out.
Therapy isn't always about reminiscing on negative thoughts and working through old trauma. Therapy for me has been a way to learn ways to break the cycle of those constant negative thoughts and emotions, and to have tools to navigate through life's challenges. I've had therapists tell me they weren't there just to be someone to vent to and those were the best therapists I have worked with.
The people in these comments tell on themselves right away. They’re anti therapy. One of the above comments said it best, “we didn’t have therapy, we had confession.” Most people still have the warped idea that religion is the only way to rid yourself of negative emotions, and that lack of religion is the cause of negative emotion. If you got Abigail Shrier to sit down with a few glasses of wine, she’d say the exact same junk.
I believe the topic is about the therapists that are prescription/ diagnosis happy.
This is important. Therapists should build relationships with their clients. Then they can break down walls and preconceptions. They can call folks on their shit and teach them new templates on how to approach life. They can grow the childish folks into healed adults.
Over a quarter of therapists aren’t good therapists.
@Kittyscraftcorner-ud6ij a bit toxic on your part, don’t you think?
@Kittyscraftcorner-ud6ij Almost as if not all therapists are the same. Crazy concept I know.
I’m a older gen z. I believe that the biggest problem my generation has is not being able to do what you want. I think the most of us want a family but don’t have a good example of a close relationship. And feeling afraid of doing wrong or not feeling worthy.
Therapy doesn’t always have an effect. You can’t therapy away every stimulus. Life becomes easier if you learn to prioritise and move on.
PS I had a wonderful childhood and parent (happily married)am grateful for everything I have.
I do well economically and socially but an acknowledge that this is fairly rare nowadays.
I just wish that we could do better by the kids- the future of our world.
True but inflation doesn't help our generation 😂. Struggling to pay bills gen z is
@@luckybreak360 fr tho, we know what a good and bad relationship is we're not dumb. But we are walking into financial ruin head on hahah.
I don't think any generation has an example of a good relationship but they still had kids and a family. It's just a matter of passing the trauma down until one generation finally fixes it. Not saying that's what you should do btw, just that most generations didn't stop to think about those things. They just followed the animal instinct.
all you need to do as (gen z). Is ... study, study higher edu, work, get money, save money, use saved money for things you want.
Confidence needs to be taught it changed my life and confidence can get you further than literally anything in life outside of that being born into rich.
We do a bad job of teaching your generation confidence and giving you reassurance. I do my fair share and then some for sure. I work with your generation everyday and I watch these kids life change within moments of just being around my words. However I know for the average American this isn't a truth sadly. Just remember you can do anything and your generation is the one who's intelligent enough to change the world as we know it.
The way people say they have PTSD so casually and commonly is insulting to people who truly suffer from real PTSD.
"trauma" 🤦
Real PTSD is fake now. The only real PTSD now comes from your barista getting your name wrong.
And to add to your point.. Anybody who actually has PTSD doesn't go around announcing it to the world. Virtue signaling is propaganda.
Lots of people have PTSD, but usually the undereducated think PTSD is only real when you’re having a full blown panic attack or some shell shock looking episode. PTSD is everywhere, nowadays it’s most likely C-PTSD. Are people over exaggerating it ? Probably, but it’s there
@@shadow13265 Saying it's there is a MOOT point. Nobody denies the reality of its existence. It's the fact that a label is being used for the self righteous gain.
10:18 for me it didn't lead to lifelong depression but it did lead me to never ever make any friends in my adulthood. I don't like people I do not trust people I won't even work outside of my home. This is all due to being severely bullied in school throughout all my years. I was also bullied in my early twenties when I tried to go out and do the work field. Adults are just as bad if not worse than children. So we might not develop depression but I would say it's still a complex.
Can relate here, I'm not depressed, but I cannot relate to ppl easily.
In the past year I lost one of my oldest and best friends to brain cancer at the age of 30. Two weeks after that my little brother died from a heart disorder and a month after that the new kitten my wife and I had that was 11 months old was diagnosed with FIP and died within a week, i also celebrated 3 years clean from heroin. This happened while I made the choice to go back to school at the age of 30 after dropping out when I was 16. All of this has made me feel more resilient and proud of myself than I ever have and I hope the younger generation learns the value of suffering and hardship and surviving it all. The quote that reminds me to push forward the most is by Marcus Aurelius who said " life puts no burden on a man that he is not fit by nature to bare."
She makes an excellent point- no one talks about the adaptive purpose of depression, everyone just wants to 'cure' it. Maybe you're supposed to be depressed for awhile, even a long while, to get you to transform into a different person.
Absolutely. Once you befriend your depression and anxiety you actually realize that it is pushing you to change for the better.
For the most part, BUT, it isn't always that simple. I believe depression for sure has a purpose but sometimes it can be so heavy, so overwhelming, that a person loses will. I definitely don't think every case of depression should be so heavily medicated. That shit is poison.
Remember, our adaptation isn’t necessarily for a “purpose” … it’s just a change an adaptation based on environment…
Absolutely. I went through a deep depressive period a few years ago. I mean, every morning as I woke I was upset I hadn't perished during the night. Absolute despair, no hope. But I got though it and am so much better today. This taught me that I CAN get through something like this. And now if I start to feel that downward spiral this knowledge that I can pull through actually helps me elevate my mood and get back on track. The experiential knowledge that there is hope saves me from descending into complete hopelessness.
I would say in a lot of cases yes but I’ve firsthand have watched my sibling go through crippling depression for over a year they’ve had no will to do anything and it hasn’t improved in even the slightest. I don’t know what answer there could be for them other than medication at this point
This is so true. Reminiscing about everything bad in life is what led my mom to killing herself. I grew up arpund her and she was ALWAYS a ball of anxiety. Growing up, i took on a lot of her traits of being vendictive and overly emotional about all aspects of my life and how "shitty" evrrything was. It wasn't until I was 25, and i moved out that I started working construction, which gave me money and skills to help build my confidence. It took about 2 years to realize that I was actually finally free and happy for once in my life. I love life and I try my best to help those around me now, I hardly ever think about the past anymore 🙂🙂
It’s pretty amazing how many ppl in therapy feel the need to diagnose everyone around them.
You have anger issues bruh
And then 10 sessions in their conclusion is: “It is what it is” 😂
@@anjr6282 just observations! 😂
@@brophalope 😂😂
Hello❤🎉 from Mother Father of all creation our creators are in the physical flesh please phone home today in this special lifetime to heal and live joy! Stop destruction intents
High school teacher here. I've made a few observations.
1. The more internet/computer-centric a student's leisure time is, the more social problems they tend to have. (this could be a "chicken or the egg" type of scenario, but the fact remains...)
2. Students who engage in extracurricular clubs and sports tend to have less behavioral issues and tend to have better communication skills.
3. Those students with two parents who take active roles in their child's education tend to do better academically and socially.
Nice observations
What about students who sleep with the teachers?
You jealous because yours did not touch you?@@frankysalazar6857
Former teacher, I used to tell my students beware your parents love. They love you so much they will protect you from experience.
“Prepare the child for the road, not the road for the child” is a quote I heard recently that has really got me thinking lately. So many parents do everything in their power to set their kids up for success that the kids don’t understand how to create that success for themselves.
@@HabitualJoker I studied Ancient Greek history and the society. This is what the issue of “good times make weak men” come in. Philosophy was originally designed to address this issue and how to catch conartists when you don’t know the subject area
@@Ol-T1864 yeah, I’m fully aware that I am half the man my father is and probably meant every person before him
that I am a descendant from.
@@HabitualJoker at least we know things are getting so bad we’ll either get tough or die. And we’ve always chosen get tough before this.
@@Ol-T1864 it usually takes a National tragedy or disaster to come together and get tougher. Let’s hope it doesn’t come to that
I wish she actually spoke her mind on people WITH those disorders. She keeps trying to separate “people w major depressive order that needs to be treated” I was fully on board until the end. I do agree w her somewhat.
I was depressed for years, convinced my anxiety was a feature of my character rather than a struggle I could overcome. I'm not completely free of it, but compared to how I was for the majority of my life it's like night and day. The key? Exposure, for one, I thought I had to limit my exposure to social situations because it caused me stress, but stress was what I needed, like a muscle that was weak from little use, it hurt to strengthen it, but if I avoided the pain it would last forever. I had to suffer greater pain now for less later. Lot of people just accept they're broken now and don't try to fix themselves. The only shame in weakness is the acquiescence to it.
Very valid point. Going to therapy is just a wealthy person construct. Rich people who don't have time to teach their kids how to grow up.
What they call "exposure therapy," is just exactly as you said... Exposing yourself to all those environments you fear, so that you adapt and overcome. That's neuroplasticity at work. The mind essentially has to be trained to handle more stress and responsibility.
Social media is probably the cause of most of these issues, because it allows you to ruminate and get feedback from like minded people about your emotions. It causes more indulgence in negative patterns and weak emotions that you'd normally have to disregard quickly.
Hello❤🎉 from Mother Father of all creation our creators are in the physical flesh please phone home today in this special lifetime to heal and live joy! Stop destruction intents
Came to the exact same conclusion after dropping over 30 pounds in the last month & half through intense diet & exercise alone(im talking 8-9 hours of elevated heart rate & sweating from labor while wearing severel layers.drinking 3 liters of water a day & the exact amount of salty carbs. My motivating factor was to start skateboarding again & as soon as I set my goal & refused to make excuses against that goal shit changed my life seemingly overnight.
Sucking it up doesn't always work, if it works for some, I'm happy it does. I worked in trauma/ER and witnessed many things, unfortunately, one day while caring for my father at home he had a heart attack, and I did everything I could to save him, but he passed away in my arms before the paramedics arrived. The experience left me very confused, it was difficult to lean on my family because they were also hurting, sucking it up like I normally did, didnt work because of the love and appreciation I had for my father. I went to therapy and my life was given back to me. My therapist initially asked, "what brings you here"? To my replay, " it's difficult to give myself advice", a few takeaways from therapy. Everyone has a different threshold for pain/psychological challenges, leaning on family sometimes isnt an option, being able to speak to a neutral person who has the ability to unwed your thoughts, emotions for the sake of feeling better is self caring. Listen to what you need, I wish you all peace❤.
Thanks for sharing your story and advice. One of the many reasons and situations where therapy and the support is indeed necessary and good. God rest your father’s soul.
Obviously sucking it up for something like that is different. Although at some point you will ...even for something like that.
i agree with your perspective and so sorry for your loss. however i think the difference is you went through something genuinely traumatizing and truly awful. as someone considered gen z i believe she’s is talking about this generation of kids who are raised to have no ability to cope with basic or everyday life problems, not genuine traumatizing experiences. the issue here is that kids are so sheltered now and therapy isnt a real solution to how emotionally stunted being so sheltered makes you. again sorry for your loss god bless you and yours
Their talking about child not men! Yes what happened to you is life. But you overcame that situation. Child now and days are focused on “feelings” not navigating life. God be with you and give you strength but we need to build strong men and can lead their family!
@@estelacardenas6546 100%
"We are a generation raised by mothers" fight club
The proper quote is "We're a generation of men raised by women. I'm wondering if another woman is really the answer we need".
I was raised by my father almost exclusively after the age of 13. A lot of people I look at them pussies quite frankly. They're afraid to ever say anything that might be considered even slightly controversial. They just practice group think.
@@ShortsAndSpookiesthank you. I hate when people butcher quotes
earnestly quoting Fight Club is not the flex you think it is
@@reecord2Doesn’t mean it’s not true. Men need a father figure.
I'm a therapist and people wouldn't come in for help if I told them to cheer up and shake it off. But at every session, I ask them what the high point of the week was or what were their wins. Over time, they start remembering that I'm going to ask them that, and they start paying more attention to good experiences or wins. I also teach mindfulness and problem solving.
I was struggling as a preteen to ride in vehicles after getting into a car accident with a friend's drunk parent at the wheel. I lived in a rural area where walking wouldn't cut it and I needed to be able to be comfortable in a vehicle again. After a few weeks of my parents having to slow way down because I would become too frightened and would begin to basically freak out and start climbing the seats, they decided we had to deal with the problem. They presented the idea of facing my fear and having me ride in the back while they drove extra fast around corners to see that I could survive the fear and anxiety. It only took one time of doing this to lessen my anxiety and all these years later, driving is one of my favorite places to be.
I think it can sometimes be helpful to face that which brings the most anxiety, head on. I know this won't work in every situation but it could be a great lesson for some.
💚🙏🏼
My dad died in the front doorway to our house when I was a teenager. He died right in front of my brother and I. We both had to walk across that spot every time we came home. It was hard at first because that specific location became a source of adversity in our lives. A simple and inanimate doorway held so much emotional control over me, at first. After walking across the threshold of a bad memory several times, my brother and I are were able to conquer and grow from it. As sad as it was, it helped fuel my ambition and it gave me a thorough, albeit extreme, education on life and death.
Unfortunately, many therapists today would tell a client to start using the side door and avoid a "triggering" location. This response denies a person the ability to grow through their life experience and enslaves them to the fears that develop from natural/normal events in their lives. Furthermore, any modern psychological concept that includes terms like "triggering" to describe the emotional effects of an inanimate object ultimately enables a person with narcistic tendencies to develop into a full-blown psychopath. PS: Woke is a mind virus.
@@mclovinfuddpuckerno one cares about your fairy tales, dur the durrrr
@@mclovinfuddpucker your imaginary friend?
@@mclovinfuddpucker What? I am a Democrat and would never shame children for knowing Jesus Christ, whom is MY SAVIOUR too! What are you saying and why?
TF are you on about?
You don't sound ok
Bro this was a great video. This lady is straight up putting into words what most people think in such a polite and almost poetic manner
She's amazing. Read her books. They're great.
Kinda funny Joe has advertised "BetterHelp" on his show before though lol.
Exactly!
Okay, bro.
In some messed up kind of way, I think experiencing true hardship is good for people. My family went through a stage of homelessness for 3 years of my childhood where we lived in a car through winters and summer heat, little to no food, turned away from friends and family, saw the dark side of shelters riddled with addiction and mental illness. It was very painful, but it really opened my eyes to how bad things can be and just how strong I could be to make it out the other side. The very tactics I used to survive are the same tactics I use to thrive today
God bless you ❤ Thank you for sharing this
In my opinion it’s social media. Before when you failed few people heard about it. Now when you fail it’s online for everyone to see. So they are settling rather than taking chances
Social media is the cause of most of this, along with ubiquitous smartphones and internet access. Millennials and gen Z are two generations who were in the thick of the proliferation of IoT and social media, esp with the "handheld" computer.
No other generations have had to figure out and deal with the repercussions of having virtually every piece of information accessible at your very fingerprints, and yet prove their worth knowing little real world skills. It's a strange psychological situation to have insights on the world, but not having real world experience learning and growing through struggles.
Ideally people should have each other's backs in times of failure or issues, so the problem here may be generally bad attitudes of others. Theres a lot of talk about how to push out haters, ignore the hate, etc, but the hate itself has got to keep being addressed so it can beunderstodd and, ironically, be used to help others who are in that bad/hateful mindset to break out of it
It's a tiny fractional small part of it , it's society as a whole , food consumption plays a massive part in mental health , your stomach is directly linked to your brain , the shit you eat plays a part in about 50% of your entire mental health , then you have ti think about the failed parenting, the failed school system , this failed society as a whole , social media then the work place , its more than just social media
That's the easiest fix of all; log out, delete your accounts, turn them off and just live your life.
Not sure you are entirely correct.
I agree that social media is a huge problem and likely the main problem, but I don't think it because more people are seeing you fail. May people today are on the narcist scale more than any other time. This ends up being a need for attention and what is the best way to get attention than to have a problem, where people feel sorry for you and provide statements meant to encourage you through the problem but in reality are simply fueling your narcissism. Thus you are in a constant state of "problems" in order to maintain the inflow of validation.
Millennial here…started trauma therapy last year & my life is greatly improving.
Two things can be true at once, perhaps multiple things can be true when a situation is multi faceted…parenting out of fear holds a child’s development back, neglecting children causes so much psychological trauma…doing the best you can to love & equip them as best possible for their lives is the goal.
The main point this video doesn't elaborate on is:
Yes, there are cases where depression/anxiety can be debilitating and require psychiatric care.
But that is like, 1/50 people nowadays. Literally everyone says they're depressed/anxious/on meds/clinically bi polar/whatever.
No, no, you're not. Not all of you. It's become trendy and quirky to be mentally unstable. With the advent of social media, the problem is magnified and blown way out of proportion.
I've been to therapy twice. Weekly for a year at 27. Twice-a-month for 6 months at 44. Huge impact on my life. It gave me tools to talk to myself and to other people.
So 2=64
@@Mazda.Fit.he did 2 bouts of therapy. Screw your brain in
Yes for things like anxiety or self esteem it’s helpful but if your gonna go fir some heavy trauma issues? U better ask yourself is it worth going back on something that’s done with? And was it so traumatic that I actually need more than talk therapy in Fact I should go get Psychedelic Therapy?
Share the tools with us, don’t gate keep
Only girls need to "talk" about their problems to others. Men are physical creatures.
Yo this lady speaking facts… I’m 26 and I see the same out of my peers. They’re all too concerned about their mental health instead of focusing on the cause of their mental health deteriorating. Going to therapy isn’t going to change how much money you make, how many friends you have, etc.
I tell my son to suck it up all the time. He used to hate me for it (in the moment), but now that he’s 13, and can see how he can handle so much more adversity than most of his peers, he is thankful for it - and he appreciates me for teaching him to be tough.
Keep going fr, I'm gen Z and you can see who was told 'buck up boy' and who wasn't, very easily.
I’d imagine those who have stand out like a sore thumb. Probably easy to get hired for work, but a pain to manage others who weren’t brought up that way.
Same with my father! I'm on the brink of suicide! :)
Do handle myself well tho...
Discipline is very needed
I love this lady this was eye opening with a 9 year old daughter in therapy that seemingly does nothing we have recently talked about putting her on meds after avoiding it for years this reaffirmed my beliefs that I've been talking to my wife about for years now how my lessons I've taught as a dad have done way more to improve her behavior than therapy ever has I'm glad I've invested to much blood sweat and tears over the years into shaping my daughter into a wonderful young lady by teaching her to recognize her bad choices and the consequences that come with them and instead try xy or z to improve her own life
Hello❤🎉 from Mother Father of all creation our creators are in the physical flesh please phone home today in this special lifetime to heal and live joy! Stop destruction intents
This is an amazing clip. Brought some good points about anxiety and depression thatI have not thought of before.
Hello❤🎉 from Mother Father of all creation our creators are in the physical flesh please phone home today in this special lifetime to heal and live joy! Stop destruction intents
I had always felt therapy was generally unhelpful if not outright detrimental for my children, but I couldn't put any substance behind my assertion... so much of what was said here rings true.
I have two kids, now adults, who struggled heavily as teens. In and out of mental hospitals, etc... I could easily boil the culprit down to therapists encouraging ruminating over negative emotions/thoughts... makes so much sense
I’ve felt this way about mental health for a long time. Coming from a sister who has been in therapy for most her life, on countless meds, ruminates over hard times in her very privileged upper middle class life. I’m not saying she didn’t have hard times, but I do think that years of wallowing and therapists constantly validating her and not challenging her to be brave has really stunted her growth as a person. It’s heartbreaking
Same. I also have a younger sister who is exactly the same. It's truly heartbreaking
My older sister is the same way. She’s on her “live, laugh, love” journey, going on 15 years now. Arrested development.
Yeah it's called paralysis by analysis. Some people think if they can just look deeper and understand more that somehow their problem will be solved.
She could have a serious mental illness that kills people known as depression. It's not about "hard times", it's a disease of the mind.
Depending on what happened to her, I feel like telling her to just “move on” doesn’t help. Have you tried recommending CBT to her?
When a toddler falls down and no one sees they don’t have any reaction. When everyone is looking and starts comforting the toddler they immediately loose it.
Damn thats interesting
Because the toddler has no other choice but to self-sooth. You might say that's "toughening them up" but the truth is it leads to a self loathing adult that believe they're not worthy of love and comfort, making loving relationships very difficult, leading to a perveying feeling of loneliness and sadness.
@@jamesburke9865 Or the toddler looks for social cues on how to respond and if there is no knee jerk response by the parents or siblings, then they don't interpret it as a big deal and react accordingly. Like if a parent giggles and doesn't rush over to help vs smothering the child with concern causes the toddler to then be concerned. First 7 years of a child's life is mostly download mode (Theta brainwave dominant) to form the personal identity that becomes solidified as the ego.
I found this video fascinating. I’m a military retiree who fights the idea that I have PTSD and my therapist insists on getting me to accept it. She’s willing to label it something else, but is set on me accepting my issues the military ‘gave me’. She tells me I have ‘trauma’ from car accidents and the lack of medical treatment I got at the ER on base. She doesn’t seem to try to encourage resilience but assigning labels and reasons. This video opened my eyes to stuff I was already feeling in ‘therapy’.
I was stationed at CENTCOM during a rough time and might have ‘issues’ with how we were treated, what we did or what we saw, but she is trying to get me to assign blame and almost use those things as excuses. A few of my fellow vets are in prison, one is on death row currently and the excuse is always PTSD. There’s such a bad connotation with that now that I’m ashamed to say I might have it.
Medical professionals told me for years my chronic pain from breaking my back had to give me depression. Anyone with as much physical injury and pain MUST be depressed. If I believed them, I would be the most depressed pos. People don’t teach resilience and sadly, or in my case,luckily, it’s in us or iit’s not.
Read the body keeps the score. It shows fMRIs and goes into studies that show the impacts of PTSD on the brain. Sorry to hear there is a negative connotation about it. Just because other people have it and use it as an excuse for their actions doesn’t mean those of us who take accountability and manage an illness should be punished for it. I have Bipolar II and have the same issues with negative connotations. I am open about it though, if they don’t want to educate themselves on it that’s not my problem.
If you have symptoms that one can categorize as "PTSD", but you personally get along fine with them, and in life in general, you dont have PTSD. Simple as that. Subjective suffering is necessary for (most) diagnoses, not the symptoms per se.
@@metalslegend I mean if you get a Dx by a professional, you have PTSD. People can be high functioning with any illness, it doesn’t mean that they don’t have it. An fMRI and how the body reacts to tramua would also disagree with “oh, you’re high functioning so you don’t have PTSD.”
This isn’t towards you, it’s the author lol, but, I don’t think people should talk on mental illness unless they worked with a medical professional, have read books/reseach and/or are in therapy. It’s what annoys me about this author to begin with. Tell me she knows nothing about trauma and therapy without telling me she knows nothing and we have her book lol.
@@PinkFlip23 Subjective suffering is necessary for most mental/psychiatric diagnoses, also for PTSD. The symptoms of PTSD typically go hand in hand with significant distress and impairments. Therefore, this aspect is not usually given much consideration. However, for other mental disorders, it makes sense to distinguish symptoms from a mental disorder. Mental disorder requires extensively subjective experienced impairment, because of the symptoms.
Therefore, the fMRI scan doesn't help too much here. If one actually has PTSD, with suffering, etc., I also assume that the activity and/or structure of the brain changes. However, this could also be the case by symptoms without significant suffering. I'm not familiar with the study situation on this in particular.
@@metalslegend I mean yes suffering is involved but people can appear fully functioning with a mental disorder. I have Bipolar II disorder. I have had episodes where I have very high functioning depression and others where it impacts my functioning. Hypomania in itself doesn’t cause clinical dysfunction. I looked into the DSM5 criteria. If you look at the DSM5 it does say criterion G suggests significant symptom related distress OR functional impairment(social, work, school.) so that part is required for a diagnosis. I had a friend with PTSD after her mom passed so I know from experience on what it looks like. It’s interesting how diagnosis’s are made because it can be hard for it to be 100% subjective. A lot of mental health professionals only use the DSM5 for an outline. The DSM5 is highly scrutinized in the field.
Are there therapists that suck, yes, but that’s every job. It’s up to the patient to do the work as well. You get out what you put into therapy. It takes work. This author has 0 credentials or hasn’t read a book on this subject. She probably hasn’t had real therapy or good therapy for herself. There’s a great video Dr. Ana(Dr. in clinical psychology) who has a video debunking what this author is saying in this book with research and goes on a whole hour about it. One point she talks about is that there’s tons of research that proves holding emotions in is bad for us both physically and mentally. It’s an interesting video.
Hey joe, this hit me hard because I had a traumatic event in my childhood where my sister lost her life. I allowed this event define who I was for years. Idw to put to much out but anytime u want to have a discussion, I turn my life completely around
It’s a weird thing, I’m an electrician with 10+ years of experience and I can barely get 25$/hr from most companies in SC. The problem is that’s around 900$ take home a week which is not enough to rent a place and live a comfortable life. So I end up working for myself on the weekends to supplement some extra $$. Starting my own business is the goal but because of health insurance costing up to 900$ a month it’s really hard to try and make that change without having a “nest egg of cash” already saved up to help with the transition. I have given up my social life for over a year and a half to try and save up money to do my own thing but than it gets to the point where it feels like I’m living to work. I remember growing up my friends parents could afford a house in a decent neighborhood with 1 parent working at the local cable company…
If you find a good woman who makes $25 plus TOO you will be on the right track! OR find one or two roommates and rent a great place and live a great life chasing tail. That’s what I did and it was fun as HELL!!!
Bro move to Australia get 150k a year
WoW that is expensive, you should leave the U.S
@@bradjudy5708the point is you shouldn't have to depend on anyone to be happy or make a life for yourself.
Having roommates is cool sometimes but you eventually need yiur own space
Hello❤🎉 from Mother Father of all creation our creators are in the physical flesh please phone home today in this special lifetime to heal and live joy! Stop destruction intents
I'm a girl , i have two sisters. And my mom raised us telling us to suck it up. Told is that life will beat us way harder then the pain we feel now. It was great. I see how we grew up so much more resilient then people around us.
Yet you don't even know the difference between then and than. Maybe she didn't do such a good job after all?
Please share what you do for a living. How many people come to you for advice. What your adult relationships are like, etc.
I’ve worked in law enforcement for years… seen some pretty wild stuff… and it blows my mind hearing kids talk about “PTSD” as if it’s the common cold…
Trauma for a child is different than trauma for an adult. Things affect children’s differently, they aren’t talking about blood and gore trauma they are talking about emotional trauma.
Bro, I have genuine ptsd from my childhood and the first time I saw a war vet 3xperience ptsd my response was,"how tf are we diagnosed with the same thing?!"
same thing with autism, adhd, depression, ptsd, etc. anyone can be anything and everything nowadays!
Childhood abuse is pretty damaging ro a child because it never gives them the chance to develope the mechanisms to cope with it - I do agree their should be a different diagnosis for it, because PTSD from childhood trauma is a bit different from what people in war and acting as first responders deal with, even if many symptoms are the same.
Teenage PTSD? Caused by what exactly? Sounds like a marketing ploy to medicate them from an early age, $$$. If living in the U.S. gives PTSD then better move country.
I love both your recent books Abigail! Highly recommend!
She is undoubtedly one of the smartest, most common sense people I have ever heard explain depression & anxiety! This is terrific! Everyone should listen to this! Great job again Joe Rogan!
She's collecting royalties. If something real happened to her, you think she'd be all right? I don't see that in her.