I'm 55 and through the years found that being manly, believe it or not, is never showing anger. When my wife or kids were angry, and ranting at me, I took the punches and showed compassion and interest in their grievances. Over time they saw me as the rock of the family. Unwavering, steadfast and yes a punching bag for their emotions when they need it. Being angry means you are being emotional. THAT emotion should reserved for physically defending loved ones or yourself, never ever against your family. Showing anger means you have lost control because anger is a secondary emotion to fear and frustration. Don't lose control. Be the dependable rock. Be a man.
Actually, I can be angry without losing control. There's a time for all emotions. You seem to have an issue about losing control so your restraint isn't genuine anyway. Some people get a rush from feeling like the bigger (more noble) person. They are among the smallest people.
proverbs 23:7 For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he: think and act like what you want to be even if you arent there yet, youll eventually become what you practice
Summary 1. What sort of man you want to be -What actions you need to take -Where did you hope that lead you -Act like your idol if you want(Study them) 2. Start doing the thing that sort of man would do even if you don't feel like it -Think about what sort of your ideal man would do and start doing them -Ignore negative feelings like lazy and etc -With time, your new manful actions will transform you the way you feel about yourself 3. Becoming a man is alot more like shaving -Just because you do it once doesn't mean you're done Motto:Virile Agitur
I've written down my own definition of a ''man''. Maybe someones inspired by it: A man is someone who does not watch pornography. Instead, he regularily makes love to his girlfriend/wife. A man is someone who holds strong opinions just about any matter there is. He stands up for himself and for others, showing courage by doing so. He has strong boundaries for himself, but also does not violate boundaries of other people. He respects his time and does the things he sets himself up to, and also respects the time of other people and as such he is punctual in appointments. A man is someone who is not afraid to recognize and accept his own shortcomings and anxieties. Instead of succumbing to them, he will, if possible, confront them and improve them, even when anxious to do so; he has no problem becoming vulnerable. A man is someone who is completely honest to himself and others. He follows his own desires, he is honest with his own performance and is not afraid to speak out the truth and his opinion, even if it means offending people and being critized or not liked for it. He has his own standpoint and interest, but also tries to reach a diplomatic solution with other parties, to the best interest of all. A man is someone who, does not only represent mental and spiritual strength, but also physical strength. He is physically fit, has good strength and endurance, and respects his body by eating healthy food and minimizing indulgence in drugs/etc. He lifts heavy, thus could easily sweep a woman of her feet, and do all the chores and exercises of daily life without problems. A man assumes good, confident posture. He grooms himself everyday to the best extent and dresses well; he does not spend too much time infront of his computer and rather goes out, doing stuff, being socially active and building something in his life. He is mindful in present life and does not waste time fantasizing about the future without taking any action
I've been having rabbis explain the term "na'aseh venishmah" to me for 14 years, and this was by far the most connected I've ever felt to that phrase. Great video!
I'm surprised how easy and constructive this sounds although the topic is rather abstract. Such feeling indicates that author is indeed having a good teacher skills and understands the topic thoroughly. Thank Brett for that!
+Sam West You are also an illiterate troll, who preys on clueless people by making inflammatory racist statements on RUclips, which you hope will provoke angry response.
+Art of Manliness "Fake it till you make it." Careful here... A man is someone who has the courage to be who they truly are, not having to fake anything. To be a man, you have to accept yourself. That takes plenty of action, but it takes thinking too. If you act without thinking, you are a follower and not a leader. A man leads.
+jakatak1134 it is just the preliminary steps in order to achieve a greater sense of self, a childish mind in an older body does not fit well for some, after becoming, or molding, now "we" take action. As in mentally building a life not sorrounded by the thoughts of finding self, but rather, doing what needs to be done. IMO
I've watched a few of your videos, and I wanted to ask you, if you haven't already done so, would you please make a video about how to become physically tough? It seems that as a society, men are losing the physical toughness of our fathers and grandfathers. For exampke, I heard a story from a woman that her dad - back during the Great Depression - worked in construction. One day while on the job, he got his pinky chopped off, but he knew that if he went to the emergency room, he would be replaced by another Joe who was desperate for work, and his family would go hungry. So he instead, just shook his severed finger out of his glove, and continued working. Now obviously the best thing to do is to go to the hospital when you've suffered an injury like that. But the point is, is that because his family depended on him keeping that job, he fought through the pain and kept at it. So I would like to see a video that talks about how to become tough - both physically - and mentally - as mental toughness is a key component to being physically tough.
Awesome video, thank you for that. I'm in my late 20s and always struggled with certain aspects of my life because of situations like this. Not just with "not feeling like a man", but with other things. Using weak excuses like lacking motivation or inspiration to do things. Or constantly feeling like I can't do something simply because I sucked at it at the start. It was last year that things started to turn around for me. I was tired of being fat and tired of saying "I need to lose weight..." so I started eating right and exercising (down 55 pounds as of last saturday). I had a hard time socializing from a lack of confidence and a general disdain of it, so I put myself in more situations where I'd have to just deal and I've gotten better at that. I struggled so long with trying to be an artist, ignoring the common sense advice in my face that I needed to draw more to be better at it. Etc. This really wraps it all up and helps me understand the method a lot more, and I hope this can help several people out there who struggle with not knowing who they want to be or what they want to do. Thank you for this!
Act to become definitely works but one thing you missed out is the belief system part. If we just act but we still don't believe in our ability then we're setting ourselves for failure. Right? Negative beliefs would drag me down even if I act. Maybe some positive affirmations would help.
I'm a girl-woman (yeah, struggling with the same thing) and at the moment this is my favorite channel. A lot of the content is applicable to more than just men or named situations. I love the mix of practical advice and theoretical/historical background, just like I love the mix of classiness and goofy humor. And the stache of course.
What’s with the people calling her out for watching this channel? This channel is giving lots of valuable lessons, why the hell should she be excluded from that just because she’s a woman? Sterling, I don’t think you get what this channel is trying to teach.
Being "fake" is a silly word invented by teenage girls to ridicule each other. Talking nice and confidently to people you don't like or make you uncomfortable, or doing things you wouldn't normally do to better yourself doesn't make you "fake." It means your acting like an adult.
Know this is 6 years late. In a way, I respectfully disagree with "fake" is acting like an adult. Working in customer service, people try to be "nice and polite" through their words. But their voice tone/inflection shows its just an act. They are so annoyed/frustrated. Its more uncomfortable with that incongruity between their words and tone. Because of that it, "fake" is an appropriate term. I'd rather people be congruent with their words and voice. I'd be less "on edge". At the very least people could improve their "fake" gracious attitude so it seems genuine.
Brett, thanks for doing this for all men on earth. My parents divorced three years ago, when I was 20 years old, and I lost my idea of what it is to be a man. My Dad was always the pinnacle of manliness for me, and when I found out that my Dad had been cheating on my Mum for the previous 10 years, I was devastated. However, the Art of Manliness website and forums were there for me, and along with my Grandpa, Uncles and cousins, I feel I am finally on my journey to becoming a man. Seriously, you saved my life, my sanity, and my sense of identity, so from the bottom of my heart, thank you. Atraxus
Facts suffered from overthinking and anxiety but now realizing what really makes a man is action u are what u do not what u think u will do are what u feel like doing💯💯
We need more of this. A simple approach to complex subjects by a man who feels great in his skin. You are doing a great job here, and don't you ever quit this!
To make a long story short, confidence comes as a result of experience. In order to gain experience, one must dive into the water, sort of speak, and start swimming.
These videos are so awesome ! Growing up without a fatherly figure really put some holes into my understanding how to do what or how to act, these videos really fill up a lot of those holes :)
My God man what a great video! One of the best articulations of how to become a "man"! My son is 6 years old and this video will now be part of his "training". Thank you for a great vid! This should be required viewing for all children (yes even the girls so they may understand why a boy acts as he does in his journey to manhood). My compliments sir, and as we said in the Navy, BRAVO ZULU for a job well done!
Great video! I am now 23 years and I might be a little late but I'm finally reaching a turning point. I'm starting to become more aware of my actions as a young man, I feel so much better about myself and much more confident.
Good advice, but I think looking to a role model as a guide on how to act should be clarified a bit. As Bruce Lee once said, there seems to be a modern trend of trying to find a successful personality and then attempting to duplicate it, which is a bad idea. I think there's an important difference between this and analysing the traits and principles of a role model, and exploring them in such a way that you still remain true to yourself.
Travalon, I think all literature and advice on self improvement always take some kind of role model and try to copy his behaviour into the readers mind. It could be anything. financial, sexual, social, professional ... success. All they say is "look, I was unsucessful in area X and I will tell you Y secrets how to transform yourself into what I've become".
When I feel bad I remember the good things I have done. All of them were times when I acted and others might have not. For some reason just doing it made things go my way.
my father would give me manly advice, but there would be somethings he couldn't really explain to me. You guys over at AoM helped me elaborate on somethings as well as advice i haven't heard from my father. I've been reading your articles and even joined a group on there, and i just want to say thanks. Stay Manly.
I ACTUALLY THINK THIS VIDEO JUST CHANGED MY LIFE! I AM GOING OUT THERE TO BREATHE IN THE LIFE I'VE GOT AND EVERYTHING FROM IT! BRETT YOU ARE THE MAN, MAN! THANKS!
Hey Brett! I have an idea that I think many men would enjoy ! I know I would , you should do a video about the books that you read . Like give us some example and show us books that teach us and show studies and such . Just an idea . Otherwise keep up the good work ! Stay manly!
+Art of Manliness Starship Troopers by Robert A. Heinlein; reads as a military autobio, speaks ad nauseum to the tactical virtues and the synthesis of manly enterprise in one's self.
This is my first "act of expressing the gratitude for someone ..............." I used not to express anything or saying Thank u to any one but from now onwards i will.... that is my first step ............Thank you sir
Hahaha, I read about cognitive dissonance and a all of things you mentioned in the video a while ago,but never was provided (or had) the perspective you presented. Like how "acting to become" might work because of cognitive dissonance. Usually, CD is used on negative contexts, like "CD is one of the main reasons people aren't usually open to changing opinions". Using Cognitive Dissonance to advance/ease/promote/trigget change oneself is exactly the sort of internal wisdom (and "psychological ingenuity") I wanted to discover and achieve when I started reading a multitude of topics like psychology, philosophy, personal development, etc. I'm glad I got to read your website and watch your videos. Thanks!
YES! Thank you for everything you do. I love your videos and I feel that in this day each one is needed. The world needs MEN and WOMEN and not kids in grown bodies.
Hey Brett, thanks for this video. Recently,I have been struggling with my self-image, feeling inadequate of the stage of life that I thought I should be entering. Your videos have been teaching me a lot of things lately, from how to iron my shirts or shine my shoes to critical thoughts like this one. Thanks for all the help!
Not at all! A lot of this material is not specific to being a man, but to simply being the best version of yourself by taking responsibility for your life. Indeed, some of the most valuable content is not applicable to men only, but rather to any person. It would be a shame if a woman saw these videos and thought they couldn't follow the advice within. I admit that I am ignorant about any sites similar to AoM for women, but perhaps there is demand for a sister site to AoM.
Telling people to learn about philosophy, Aristotle and virtue in general is helpful to both men and women. The best example is Hypatia of Alexandria. But don't go to far to read about the crazy feminists of the XX century. They went to far and rejected the intrinsic human nature that biology defines. In short, think rationally but accept your feelings also. Having said that, it's not weird at all, in fact it's good! Have a good one
@@reservoirfrogs2177 Yeah. There are channels that do that, but they're Christian or otherwise religious. They can get an audience from their religious group, but outsiders usually criticize them. Other women-focused advice channels seem to focus on fashion, health and practical things like that but not morals. Like you said, that's unacceptable nowadays. Well there's plenty of neutral (uni-sex) life advice channels and I prefer it that way. After all we have more in common than not, especially when it comes to values and good lifestyle choices. For gynecology I can watch MamaDoctorJones xD
Then all you need to do is act like you can swing from building to building with webs that come out of your wrists and eventually you'll feel like you can actually do that.
This was also the best advice I got on my road to sobriety when I was a young good for nothing. You don't think your way into action, you act your way into thinking (waiting for your brain to catch up).
Wow! That's exactly what happened to me when I was younger! I was expecting the day when I was going to wake up and suddenly be a grown man! I wish I had seen this a few years ago. God bless you, Mr. McKay!
I have been having this exact thought in my head since I graduated high school 2 years ago and I couldn't fathom how I could accomplish being a man in this world. I would feel weak, helpless, childish, and believed I was a waste of trying to become the man so many people say they see in me. But thanks to this and all of your other videos, I think I can finally start walking the path I have been both dreading and hoping to go down. Thank you Brett.
I’m a 22 years old school teacher and I still feel like a boy, people treat me like a boy and I absolutely HATE that. At first I thought that the reason was because I couldn’t grow a beard and etc, but actually was because I was acting like a boy. Man, this channel is changing my life
Very good. I initially thought this channel was a post modern ironic subversion of the notion of 'masculinity'. But this guy knows his Aristotle and I like him. He can be playful with portrayals of manliness, yet still sincere. This is good advice. Could have thrown a bit of Sartre as well for good measure - 'to be is to act' - as the existentialists believed.
Thanks for the detailed video about this topic. I am a 33 year old short man who still gets treated like a teenager even thought I have a beard. Sometimes people younger than me in their late 20s treat me like a kid.
I’ve done this more than once in my life. First, becoming a manly tradesman, a carpenter. First manly job I ever had. Fish out of water. Got there though. Second time was at 45. Transitioned to civil service and started becoming engaged in community stuff. I had a mentor I wanted very much to emulate. His example taught me a lot! I definitely feel like the man I wanted to be.
Thank you. I've been following your site and videos for about two years now and I just wanna say that the ArtOfManliness has positively impacted my life.
This is super good advice. I'll add this, your first point about deciding what type of man you want to be. That's quite difficult I think so maybe make a list of the characteristics you want to have and work towards them using your second tip Hopefully over time you will figure out what type of man you wish to be and you will be half way there at that time
That moustache just keeps getting more and more glorious! And great video - I definitely agree with it. If you want to better yourself you have to do it through action, not thoughts.
Thanks for the video, Brett! I am in complete agreement. For a month or so I've been trying to demonstrate more confidence in my daily life, as I figure--like many men, I'm sure--that I could benefit from it, and lately I've noticed that my responses, suggestions, and interjections have become more confident without my consciously trying. "Fake it till you make it" definitely has truth to it. This video meshes well with your video on habit formation, I must say.
Another excellent video. A lot of your viewers/readers are young men in their 20s, and even 30s and its understandable that they may not feel like a man, but it doesn't stop there. I'm almost 41 and I can completely relate to them. So often, I find myself waiting for something to happen, and I forget that we have to make things happen in our lives. Often, when I do become aware of my inaction, and finally take action, I find that I'm happier and more motivated to change and grow. It's important to have a plan for ourendeavors, but Paralysis through analysis can stifle anyone. Deciding what you want to do and doing it is the sure way to make surest that something gets done. There is no substitute for action.
His videos are so good, I can't help but feel so motivated whenever I'm watching one of his videos. And when they end they always leave me with a smile on my face and work to do. He doesn't do these types of videos anymore but that's alright, He's provided us with enough we need to know to become a man. I will act like a man, starting today!
I just wanted to write the same comment, but now I noticed you posted exactly what was on my mind:) Never fake anything, this just has to come naturally. There is no way to cheat this, nor a shortcut. No video, no book can teach you how to become a man. Just your own experience. I absolutely do not agree with what he says at 6:35
Too bad real men can spot phonies a mile away, no matter how long you've been "faking it". You will never make it if you don't know the definition of *hard work, honesty* and *conviction* as taught by the trials and tribulations of enduring a life of meaning.
Thank you. You sent me back to Nicomachean Ethics (been a LONG time) and I think I'll be bringing that quote (and crediting you) to Lodge tomorrow as a conversation starter =)
This makes so much sense. The modern doctrine of just thinking about something to make it happen fails to provide a reason why it works. This says that you might fail at first, but you can show gradual progress that makes sense. Think about it, you aren't going to bench press 350 lbs if you've never lifted weights before just by thinking about it, you need to build up to it and work at it!
These tips are working well for me. I reinsure myself every day that I am capable. I have a quiet confidence that keeps my head held high and my feet marching. Thank you.
I'm just in that transition in your life of leaving the "teenager" behind and be a man, the man I wanted to be. And I just realised that in that expression you said, the man you want to be, it's what have been doing noise in my mind in the latest weeks, that's the direction I wanted and I couldn't see it. Sincerely, thank you for those words, they came in the right moment. This video should have more views, it's trully inspirational, as other of your videos, but this one it's special. Thank you man, truly. Keep up the good work.
I needed this, thank you! I guess the biggest barrier for me is getting the motivation/willpower to start and power through the actions. I have severe OCD which takes up so much time and energy that oftentimes, my motivation 'fuel tank' is nearly empty.
If you generalise the concept of "man", you'll understand that: you must take responsibility for your every action and ponder if it's the best; to be true to yourself and as much as you can with other, because lies rarely stay secret and lastly, but not the least, you must dress everyday like you'll meet the love of your life (or to say a hot chick), dressing well will send the message to the world that you know what you're doing. I think that everyone has a unique personality and it's not mandatory to be like someone else.
Interesting. I wonder if this is the fundamental difference between Christianity and Judaism. In Christianity, you are supposed to first have an inner change of heart due to the presence of the Spirit which then leads you to grow in virtue over time. Repent (change your heart/mind) and sin no more. Whereas it sounds like Judaism is saying, practice the virtues first and eventually your heart will change. Provocative question: do you believe Christianity has steered our culture in the wrong direction these past 2000 years?
Reluctant Dragon - Great question! In actuality the problem is not Christianity, but the way that Christianity is often taught in America. This is something I learned about 15 years ago, and as a pastor, it has changed how I preach and help people understand the Bible. Our educational system is built more off of the Greek philosophy of learning vs the Hebrew philosophy of learning. In the Hebrew philosophy you could not say that you have truly learned something until you consistently lived it, Greek leaned more heavily, as stated in the video, on the ability to recite, memorize, and/or regurgitate. However, when we understand that the entirety of Scripture has a Jewish context we begin to look at the words used, even in the New Testament, differently. That's why Christ's command in John 15, "...abide in me..." is so foreign to our way of thinking. How can simply walking with someone, or following someone truly be learning? But, in the Jewish context it makes perfect sense. Add to that, when you understand this, you see that Christ's and his apostle's teachings are much more about 'being' than 'doing'. By the way...LOVED THE VIDEO!
Great comments! As far as I understand, in the Christian teaching we are already living in eschatological times - death has been conquered, the Messias has already been here. We have basically moved away from the chaotic world induced by the original sin. Therefore, in Christianity, it is assumed that you would be able to live perfectly ethical, so you should also be able to think perfectly ethical, or have a "pure" mind. In Judaism we still live in the sinful world, so acting and thinking ethically is considered to be impossible, because we are polluted by the original sin. You therefore have to act out the laws laid forth in the Torah, in order to be a good person, whereas Christians should automatically be able to be good, since in that theology the world has already returned to its perfect state. Whether Christianity has steered that our culture in a wrong direction: I wouldn't necessarily say it's wrong, but I think that there has been to great a focus on inwards reflection compared to outwards action. This has especially stifled the protoscientific progress which was beginning in the classical world, but declined in the middle ages. But I would rather lay the blame on Socratic/Platonic philosophical tradition than Christianity, which just seems to be a product of this way of thinking.
In some ways it did because Jews especially Zionists have used Christianity (European and American Christians) for their own benefit and by believing scriptures an seeing Jews as "chosen ones" we have been fooled by them. Many of modern theories which denigrated white people come from Jewish Authors. They (the Jews) even though they don't believe Christianity have used it as a tool to enslave European people.
Art of Manliness You have great taste, and he is a great example of someone becoming great incrementally. That is very cool. We need a President / Leader like that again. I read when he was commissioner in NYC that he would walk the beat at night, personally protecting the streets. Another time he was bleeding from a gun shot wound and insisted on finishing a long speech. Or charging the mount in Cuba, like you mentioned. Talk about leading from the front, "Do what you can, with what you have, where you are". He believed anyone could make a difference--booyah!
I am trying to change a lot of aspects in my life through methods, it's a kind of experiment applied to myself, I call it "Op. Lycurgus" (hehe), right now I am using some tools from PNL and behavioral psychology. But seriosly, that attempt to grow on my way would be fruitless without the help and information of your exceptional blog and videos. I must thank you for reasearch and share all these information with us. Good life to you, good sir, regards from Colombia.
Mr Brett, your videos are really helpful... I bought a book and it's full of wits and tips. Good job.. You're the hero of the young generation who wants to become a man.
Hmm if you act outwardly with without the inner transformation, won't people think that you're a hippocrite without an authentic, sincere motive. How can you give (act, in this case), what you don't have?
IceInMaWeiner Fake it till you make it, is a bridge too far without integrity. The workplace is full of 'fakers' empty vessels make most noise. I would say it is more about taking action (not faking) to bring about the internal changes of perception, instigating congnitive dissonance, because at some point your brain then accepts the new commands. However, it is not a green light for being an asshole, or doing things at the cost of other people. Integrity helps to temper this.
I don't see it as hypocritical since you are behaving in a way you believe in. You've already thought it out and decided that this is the way you'd like to be so it is authentic. What's missing is the courage to close the gap. Hypocrisy is "behaving in a way that suggests one has higher standards or more noble beliefs than is the case." Your standards and beliefs are authentic. It's just the courage which needs to be brought in line.
I want to be like my great grandfather. Humble, faithful, strong, friendly, and an outdoorsman. I come from a long line of great masculine peoples who range from being in the Freemasons, farmers, hunters, fisherman, royalty, and artists. I hope I can have their wisdom and courage when I come of age. Being 16, I feel like I am one of the only mentally mature ones in my school. Most of my peers are very immature and still act like small children. I hope that they will learn from their wrong doings some day.
You’re totally right, I was conscripted to serve in army and I was horrified from the auto-assault rifle, once I considered it and started shooting bullets therefore I’m no more horrific from rifles, act then become! Thanks!
Dillywick2 depends on your attitude and what you join. If you join security forces then yes you'll be treated poorly if you go into a less grunt like mos then you'll be treated way better. as for the depression, it just depends on the individual.
Glad I'm finding this when I'm still 17...
good for you
Yeah me too. I'm so glad I found it before I became a slob
Well I'm 18, but still helpful.
Tim Sm Dude you'll have a beard by 10
+Pahk the Cah in Hahvahd Yahd same
I'm 55 and through the years found that being manly, believe it or not, is never showing anger. When my wife or kids were angry, and ranting at me, I took the punches and showed compassion and interest in their grievances. Over time they saw me as the rock of the family. Unwavering, steadfast and yes a punching bag for their emotions when they need it.
Being angry means you are being emotional. THAT emotion should reserved for physically defending loved ones or yourself, never ever against your family. Showing anger means you have lost control because anger is a secondary emotion to fear and frustration.
Don't lose control. Be the dependable rock. Be a man.
I believe there is no better way you could have said it. This was absolutely useful information and thank you for sharing.
Well stated. Thank you, sir.
Masculine energy
Actually, I can be angry without losing control. There's a time for all emotions. You seem to have an issue about losing control so your restraint isn't genuine anyway.
Some people get a rush from feeling like the bigger (more noble) person. They are among the smallest people.
@@TheDionysianFields
Seem you are the one with issues.
proverbs 23:7 For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he:
think and act like what you want to be even if you arent there yet, youll eventually become what you practice
Mo Overall Fitness Hacks I dont believe in any god, but there are lots of valuable things to learn from holy books al over the world
very interesting!
Dik van Achteren If you don't mind me asking, what is it that keeps you from believing in God?
Mo Overall Fitness Hacks Good to see other Christians out there! God Bless
wisdom is wisdom take it and make it yours
you should strongly reconsider that background music.
I was just about to say the same 😂😂😂😂😂
@@None_of_your_business666 it's a classic. classic youtube music loool
I was about to say it
I feel like something folksy with harmonicas and banjos would do the trick.
Arthurstf
yeah that's right
This is some of the most inspirational stuff. The cold shower and waking up early episodes have improved my life
Glad we could help!
Right on and I started taking cold showers 7 months ago and will never look back.
@@artofmanliness the fact that you actually respond to people is quite virtuous
Summary
1. What sort of man you want to be
-What actions you need to take
-Where did you hope that lead you
-Act like your idol if you want(Study them)
2. Start doing the thing that sort of man would do even if you don't feel like it
-Think about what sort of your ideal man would do and start doing them
-Ignore negative feelings like lazy and etc
-With time, your new manful actions will transform you the way you feel about yourself
3. Becoming a man is alot more like shaving
-Just because you do it once doesn't mean you're done
Motto:Virile Agitur
I've written down my own definition of a ''man''. Maybe someones inspired by it:
A man is someone who does not watch pornography. Instead, he regularily makes love to his girlfriend/wife. A
man is someone who holds strong opinions just about any matter there
is. He stands up for himself and for others, showing courage by doing
so. He has strong boundaries for
himself, but also does not violate boundaries of other people. He
respects his time and does the things he sets himself up to, and also
respects the time of other people and as such he is punctual in
appointments.
A man is someone who is
not afraid to recognize and accept his own shortcomings and anxieties.
Instead of succumbing to them, he will, if possible, confront them and
improve them, even when anxious to do so; he has no problem becoming vulnerable.
A man is someone who is completely honest to himself and others. He
follows his own desires, he is honest with his own performance and is
not afraid to speak out the truth and his opinion, even if it means
offending people and being critized or not liked for it. He has his own
standpoint and interest, but also tries to reach a diplomatic solution
with other parties, to the best interest of all.
A man is someone who, does not only represent mental and spiritual
strength, but also physical strength. He is physically fit, has good
strength and endurance, and respects his body by eating healthy food and
minimizing indulgence in drugs/etc. He lifts heavy, thus could easily
sweep a woman of her feet, and do all the chores and exercises of daily
life without problems.
A man assumes good, confident posture. He grooms himself everyday to the
best extent and dresses well; he does not spend too much time infront of
his computer and rather goes out, doing stuff, being socially active
and building something in his life. He is mindful in present life and
does not waste time fantasizing about the future without taking any
action
this
Add that he does not let other people violate his authority by disrespecting them and instead punishes violation. If you add this, then it's perfect
Bruh. Porn kills love, preach it
Inspired.
good points i work on the computer tho
I've been having rabbis explain the term "na'aseh venishmah" to me for 14 years, and this was by far the most connected I've ever felt to that phrase. Great video!
I'm surprised how easy and constructive this sounds although the topic is rather abstract. Such feeling indicates that author is indeed having a good teacher skills and understands the topic thoroughly. Thank Brett for that!
Thanks!
New Video!
Really informational video, thanks!
+Sam West
You are also an illiterate troll, who preys on clueless people by making inflammatory racist statements on RUclips, which you hope will provoke angry response.
+Art of Manliness
"Fake it till you make it." Careful here...
A man is someone who has the courage to be who they truly are, not having to fake anything. To be a man, you have to accept yourself. That takes plenty of action, but it takes thinking too. If you act without thinking, you are a follower and not a leader. A man leads.
+jakatak1134 it is just the preliminary steps in order to achieve a greater sense of self, a childish mind in an older body does not fit well for some, after becoming, or molding, now "we" take action. As in mentally building a life not sorrounded by the thoughts of finding self, but rather, doing what needs to be done. IMO
I've watched a few of your videos, and I wanted to ask you, if you haven't already done so, would you please make a video about how to become physically tough?
It seems that as a society, men are losing the physical toughness of our fathers and grandfathers.
For exampke, I heard a story from a woman that her dad - back during the Great Depression - worked in construction. One day while on the job, he got his pinky chopped off, but he knew that if he went to the emergency room, he would be replaced by another Joe who was desperate for work, and his family would go hungry.
So he instead, just shook his severed finger out of his glove, and continued working.
Now obviously the best thing to do is to go to the hospital when you've suffered an injury like that.
But the point is, is that because his family depended on him keeping that job, he fought through the pain and kept at it.
So I would like to see a video that talks about how to become tough - both physically - and mentally - as mental toughness is a key component to being physically tough.
ever since I discovered Art of Manliness i'm leading such a better life as a man. It seems like I get much more from a single day than I did before
Honored to know that we've been able to help. Virile agitur!
You are what you repeatedly do.
+Bobby Patton we are all wankers
HAHAHA
Fuck, I was gonna say that.
Me too!!!
Im your sister?
Awesome video, thank you for that. I'm in my late 20s and always struggled with certain aspects of my life because of situations like this. Not just with "not feeling like a man", but with other things. Using weak excuses like lacking motivation or inspiration to do things. Or constantly feeling like I can't do something simply because I sucked at it at the start. It was last year that things started to turn around for me. I was tired of being fat and tired of saying "I need to lose weight..." so I started eating right and exercising (down 55 pounds as of last saturday). I had a hard time socializing from a lack of confidence and a general disdain of it, so I put myself in more situations where I'd have to just deal and I've gotten better at that. I struggled so long with trying to be an artist, ignoring the common sense advice in my face that I needed to draw more to be better at it. Etc.
This really wraps it all up and helps me understand the method a lot more, and I hope this can help several people out there who struggle with not knowing who they want to be or what they want to do. Thank you for this!
Congratulations on the weight loss and the other progress you've made in your life. Living proof that act to become works. Bully!
Act to become definitely works but one thing you missed out is the belief system part. If we just act but we still don't believe in our ability then we're setting ourselves for failure. Right?
Negative beliefs would drag me down even if I act. Maybe some positive affirmations would help.
You’re in your late 30’s now…
This is definitely one of those "A-ha!" moment videos. It really makes sense for me.
Glad it made sense.
+1
I'm a girl-woman (yeah, struggling with the same thing) and at the moment this is my favorite channel. A lot of the content is applicable to more than just men or named situations. I love the mix of practical advice and theoretical/historical background, just like I love the mix of classiness and goofy humor. And the stache of course.
Evija3000 NOT the same thing!!
This is a guy channel! Women are well enough off. Guys are here because we need help.
Same! Also I think the "man"/"woman" channels focus on different virtues and problems and to my mind watching both types completes your knowledge.
What’s with the people calling her out for watching this channel? This channel is giving lots of valuable lessons, why the hell should she be excluded from that just because she’s a woman? Sterling, I don’t think you get what this channel is trying to teach.
There earth and sky difference between a Men & women.understand this first.
Being "fake" is a silly word invented by teenage girls to ridicule each other. Talking nice and confidently to people you don't like or make you uncomfortable, or doing things you wouldn't normally do to better yourself doesn't make you "fake." It means your acting like an adult.
...manipulation, there's people who put up facades to manipulate others
There's a difference between being "fake" and trying to better yourself.
@@anibalhyrulesantihero7021 I agree.
Know this is 6 years late. In a way, I respectfully disagree with "fake" is acting like an adult.
Working in customer service, people try to be "nice and polite" through their words. But their voice tone/inflection shows its just an act. They are so annoyed/frustrated.
Its more uncomfortable with that incongruity between their words and tone. Because of that it, "fake" is an appropriate term.
I'd rather people be congruent with their words and voice. I'd be less "on edge".
At the very least people could improve their "fake" gracious attitude so it seems genuine.
If they say trying to become more manly & mature is fake then beginners going to the gym are pretending to be strong.
its shit like this gives me hope for younger generation this is better then any class i ever got in the 90's.
Brett, thanks for doing this for all men on earth. My parents divorced three years ago, when I was 20 years old, and I lost my idea of what it is to be a man. My Dad was always the pinnacle of manliness for me, and when I found out that my Dad had been cheating on my Mum for the previous 10 years, I was devastated. However, the Art of Manliness website and forums were there for me, and along with my Grandpa, Uncles and cousins, I feel I am finally on my journey to becoming a man. Seriously, you saved my life, my sanity, and my sense of identity, so from the bottom of my heart, thank you. Atraxus
Facts suffered from overthinking and anxiety but now realizing what really makes a man is action u are what u do not what u think u will do are what u feel like doing💯💯
We need more of this. A simple approach to complex subjects by a man who feels great in his skin.
You are doing a great job here, and don't you ever quit this!
To make a long story short, confidence comes as a result of experience.
In order to gain experience, one must dive into the water, sort of speak, and start swimming.
+Oren Elbaz Yup
"THE PATRON SAINT OF MANLINESS: TEDDY ROOSEVELT"
Hilariously true
These videos are so awesome ! Growing up without a fatherly figure really put some holes into my understanding how to do what or how to act, these videos really fill up a lot of those holes :)
Thanks for the kind words. Humbled and honored to know that the videos are helping in some small way.
My God man what a great video! One of the best articulations of how to become a "man"! My son is 6 years old and this video will now be part of his "training". Thank you for a great vid! This should be required viewing for all children (yes even the girls so they may understand why a boy acts as he does in his journey to manhood). My compliments sir, and as we said in the Navy, BRAVO ZULU for a job well done!
I am from israel and it was great to hear you speaking hebrew :)
נעשה ונשמע , Na'ase venishma
עברתי בתגובות כדי לחפש משהו עברית..
Fuck Israel
Great video! I am now 23 years and I might be a little late but I'm finally reaching a turning point. I'm starting to become more aware of my actions as a young man, I feel so much better about myself and much more confident.
How was your journey?
I'm a woman and love your videos.. I show my son and my brothers, you have amazing videos to help them through their lives.. thank you. Blessings
Good advice, but I think looking to a role model as a guide on how to act should be clarified a bit. As Bruce Lee once said, there seems to be a modern trend of trying to find a successful personality and then attempting to duplicate it, which is a bad idea. I think there's an important difference between this and analysing the traits and principles of a role model, and exploring them in such a way that you still remain true to yourself.
Travalon, I think all literature and advice on self improvement always take some kind of role model and try to copy his behaviour into the readers mind.
It could be anything. financial, sexual, social, professional ... success. All they say is "look, I was unsucessful in area X and I will tell you Y secrets how to transform yourself into what I've become".
Travalon exactly man, you must get inspiration from big people and create the best version of yourself.
When I feel bad I remember the good things I have done. All of them were times when I acted and others might have not. For some reason just doing it made things go my way.
This really doesn't just apply to being a man. It applies to the person you want to be. Pick any aspect of your life, and use cognitive dissonance.
Being the person you want to be is about the manliest thing you could do.
We all have different apperceptions of what a man is. What's your definition of a man?
You are correct.
my father would give me manly advice, but there would be somethings he couldn't really explain to me. You guys over at AoM helped me elaborate on somethings as well as advice i haven't heard from my father. I've been reading your articles and even joined a group on there, and i just want to say thanks. Stay Manly.
TheDisturbedFanatic Thank you sir. Glad to help.
I ACTUALLY THINK THIS VIDEO JUST CHANGED MY LIFE! I AM GOING OUT THERE TO BREATHE IN THE LIFE I'VE GOT AND EVERYTHING FROM IT! BRETT YOU ARE THE MAN, MAN! THANKS!
So, if I want to feel like a woman I just act like one?
Seriously though, great advice. Very wise.
Krakolio Exactly!
Hey Brett! I have an idea that I think many men would enjoy ! I know I would , you should do a video about the books that you read . Like give us some example and show us books that teach us and show studies and such . Just an idea . Otherwise keep up the good work ! Stay manly!
Dylan Knorr Thanks for the idea. I might do that.
+Art of Manliness he's right, and there are few books that are manlier than the Old Man and the Sea. by Ernest Hemingway.
+Art of Manliness Starship Troopers by Robert A. Heinlein; reads as a military autobio, speaks ad nauseum to the tactical virtues and the synthesis of manly enterprise in one's self.
This is my first "act of expressing the gratitude for someone ..............." I used not to express anything or saying Thank u to any one but from now onwards i will.... that is my first step ............Thank you sir
I love that you mentioned pressfield. My mentor gave me "the war of art" and it changed my life...
Hahaha, I read about cognitive dissonance and a all of things you mentioned in the video a while ago,but never was provided (or had) the perspective you presented.
Like how "acting to become" might work because of cognitive dissonance. Usually, CD is used on negative contexts, like "CD is one of the main reasons people aren't usually open to changing opinions".
Using Cognitive Dissonance to advance/ease/promote/trigget change oneself is exactly the sort of internal wisdom (and "psychological ingenuity") I wanted to discover and achieve when I started reading a multitude of topics like psychology, philosophy, personal development, etc. I'm glad I got to read your website and watch your videos.
Thanks!
YES! Thank you for everything you do. I love your videos and I feel that in this day each one is needed.
The world needs MEN and WOMEN and not kids in grown bodies.
Or they/thems running around aimlessly.
Hey Brett, thanks for this video. Recently,I have been struggling with my self-image, feeling inadequate of the stage of life that I thought I should be entering. Your videos have been teaching me a lot of things lately, from how to iron my shirts or shine my shoes to critical thoughts like this one. Thanks for all the help!
Is it weird that I am a 20 something girl and find a lot of this channel very helpful?
Not at all! A lot of this material is not specific to being a man, but to simply being the best version of yourself by taking responsibility for your life. Indeed, some of the most valuable content is not applicable to men only, but rather to any person. It would be a shame if a woman saw these videos and thought they couldn't follow the advice within. I admit that I am ignorant about any sites similar to AoM for women, but perhaps there is demand for a sister site to AoM.
@@Argon314 if they made something telling women how to "act like a woman" there would be fucking riots
Telling people to learn about philosophy, Aristotle and virtue in general is helpful to both men and women. The best example is Hypatia of Alexandria. But don't go to far to read about the crazy feminists of the XX century. They went to far and rejected the intrinsic human nature that biology defines. In short, think rationally but accept your feelings also.
Having said that, it's not weird at all, in fact it's good! Have a good one
Same here. Good advice is good advice.
@@reservoirfrogs2177 Yeah. There are channels that do that, but they're Christian or otherwise religious. They can get an audience from their religious group, but outsiders usually criticize them. Other women-focused advice channels seem to focus on fashion, health and practical things like that but not morals. Like you said, that's unacceptable nowadays. Well there's plenty of neutral (uni-sex) life advice channels and I prefer it that way. After all we have more in common than not, especially when it comes to values and good lifestyle choices. For gynecology I can watch MamaDoctorJones xD
Spider-Man, I wanna be Spider-Man.
Then all you need to do is act like you can swing from building to building with webs that come out of your wrists and eventually you'll feel like you can actually do that.
***** Hahaha!
Ron Swanson would approve
Stingy fix tips "Wrote the entire thing myself"
+Daniel Bush 1. BE A MAN
Haha! I wanna be him.
This was also the best advice I got on my road to sobriety when I was a young good for nothing. You don't think your way into action, you act your way into thinking (waiting for your brain to catch up).
Wow! That's exactly what happened to me when I was younger!
I was expecting the day when I was going to wake up and suddenly be a grown man!
I wish I had seen this a few years ago.
God bless you, Mr. McKay!
The fact that you mentioned Jehovah shows me that you are a man who does your research. Keep up the great work!
David Enriquez Will do!
What an amazing and insightful channel. Keep it up!
Will do.
I have been having this exact thought in my head since I graduated high school 2 years ago and I couldn't fathom how I could accomplish being a man in this world. I would feel weak, helpless, childish, and believed I was a waste of trying to become the man so many people say they see in me. But thanks to this and all of your other videos, I think I can finally start walking the path I have been both dreading and hoping to go down. Thank you Brett.
HeyJoe,
how you doing now.
I’m a 22 years old school teacher and I still feel like a boy, people treat me like a boy and I absolutely HATE that. At first I thought that the reason was because I couldn’t grow a beard and etc, but actually was because I was acting like a boy. Man, this channel is changing my life
I think confidence and being true to yourself is key, good luck!
@@hannap8052 yes and I am still a child at 26 😆
But I am happy with myself but I also live by certain principles I never break no matter what .
Very good. I initially thought this channel was a post modern ironic subversion of the notion of 'masculinity'. But this guy knows his Aristotle and I like him. He can be playful with portrayals of manliness, yet still sincere. This is good advice. Could have thrown a bit of Sartre as well for good measure - 'to be is to act' - as the existentialists believed.
Brett I feel like you were speaking right to me, thank you.
You're welcome!
Thanks for the detailed video about this topic. I am a 33 year old short man who still gets treated like a teenager even thought I have a beard. Sometimes people younger than me in their late 20s treat me like a kid.
I’ve done this more than once in my life. First, becoming a manly tradesman, a carpenter. First manly job I ever had. Fish out of water. Got there though.
Second time was at 45. Transitioned to civil service and started becoming engaged in community stuff. I had a mentor I wanted very much to emulate. His example taught me a lot! I definitely feel like the man I wanted to be.
Thank you. I've been following your site and videos for about two years now and I just wanna say that the ArtOfManliness has positively impacted my life.
At first I thought that he held up a miniature bust of Stalin haha
lmao
I was thinking about writing the same thing, before I searched the word "Stalin" in the comments.
This is super good advice. I'll add this, your first point about deciding what type of man you want to be. That's quite difficult I think so maybe make a list of the characteristics you want to have and work towards them using your second tip
Hopefully over time you will figure out what type of man you wish to be and you will be half way there at that time
That moustache just keeps getting more and more glorious! And great video - I definitely agree with it. If you want to better yourself you have to do it through action, not thoughts.
My mustache thanks you.
Dayum that mustache is thicker than my fat
CornerGuy MC Not mine
Thanks for the video, Brett! I am in complete agreement. For a month or so I've been trying to demonstrate more confidence in my daily life, as I figure--like many men, I'm sure--that I could benefit from it, and lately I've noticed that my responses, suggestions, and interjections have become more confident without my consciously trying. "Fake it till you make it" definitely has truth to it.
This video meshes well with your video on habit formation, I must say.
Another excellent video. A lot of your viewers/readers are young men in their 20s, and even 30s and its understandable that they may not feel like a man, but it doesn't stop there. I'm almost 41 and I can completely relate to them. So often, I find myself waiting for something to happen, and I forget that we have to make things happen in our lives. Often, when I do become aware of my inaction, and finally take action, I find that I'm happier and more motivated to change and grow. It's important to have a plan for ourendeavors, but Paralysis through analysis can stifle anyone. Deciding what you want to do and doing it is the sure way to make surest that something gets done. There is no substitute for action.
Best video I've ever watched on YT. Period.
this question came to me like 2 weeks ago, im 29 atm, perfect timing AOM!
Glad to be of service!
E SC now you're 31, feel bad man?
Was just thinking about it when the video came along
You have to convince yourself first, this video is clear and packed with meaningful content
His videos are so good, I can't help but feel so motivated whenever I'm watching one of his videos. And when they end they always leave me with a smile on my face and work to do. He doesn't do these types of videos anymore but that's alright, He's provided us with enough we need to know to become a man.
I will act like a man, starting today!
Another great video.
Thanks!
Fake it until you make it
Then you never really make it.
Believe it and achieve it!
#PurposeOverPassion
I just wanted to write the same comment, but now I noticed you posted exactly what was on my mind:)
Never fake anything, this just has to come naturally. There is no way to cheat this, nor a shortcut.
No video, no book can teach you how to become a man. Just your own experience.
I absolutely do not agree with what he says at 6:35
Agree! I believe the guy has it incorrect, as well. There is a lot to be said about courage and action but faking is not a part.
But "learn it till you earn it" is more appropriate.
Too bad real men can spot phonies a mile away, no matter how long you've been "faking it". You will never make it if you don't know the definition of *hard work, honesty* and *conviction* as taught by the trials and tribulations of enduring a life of meaning.
Thank you. You sent me back to Nicomachean Ethics (been a LONG time) and I think I'll be bringing that quote (and crediting you) to Lodge tomorrow as a conversation starter =)
Have a great Lodge night Brother!
Those are the advices I've been looking for to deal with trust issues.
I couldn't thank you enough.
I showed this video to my goldfish and he turned into a Great White shark.
Fantastic video, Brett! Wonderful advice and inspiring as usual!
This makes so much sense. The modern doctrine of just thinking about something to make it happen fails to provide a reason why it works. This says that you might fail at first, but you can show gradual progress that makes sense. Think about it, you aren't going to bench press 350 lbs if you've never lifted weights before just by thinking about it, you need to build up to it and work at it!
These tips are working well for me.
I reinsure myself every day that I am capable. I have a quiet confidence that keeps my head held high and my feet marching. Thank you.
i needed this thank you
wish i could grow a mustache like that but i'm asian
Patience. It'll grow. If not, buy a fake one.
learn photoshop
Umm..what about that stereotypical old chinese actor from vintage movies?
patience bro....patience
MyRandomCommentsXD also, eat the right nutrients and workout. lol
I'm just in that transition in your life of leaving the "teenager" behind and be a man, the man I wanted to be. And I just realised that in that expression you said, the man you want to be, it's what have been doing noise in my mind in the latest weeks, that's the direction I wanted and I couldn't see it. Sincerely, thank you for those words, they came in the right moment. This video should have more views, it's trully inspirational, as other of your videos, but this one it's special. Thank you man, truly. Keep up the good work.
This video is golden! i always thought ''think and thou shall become'' but it is ''do it regurarly and you become it''
This was great, even though I'm not a man, I can still apply it towards becoming a 'woman' instead of girl, so thanks x
This is awesome. Thank you.
I needed this, thank you! I guess the biggest barrier for me is getting the motivation/willpower to start and power through the actions. I have severe OCD which takes up so much time and energy that oftentimes, my motivation 'fuel tank' is nearly empty.
Check out our series on willpower for some tips on managing and strengthening it: www.artofmanliness.com/2012/01/01/willpower/
Art of Manliness
Great! I'll check it out; thanks for taking the time to help :)
If you generalise the concept of "man", you'll understand that: you must take responsibility for your every action and ponder if it's the best; to be true to yourself and as much as you can with other, because lies rarely stay secret and lastly, but not the least, you must dress everyday like you'll meet the love of your life (or to say a hot chick), dressing well will send the message to the world that you know what you're doing. I think that everyone has a unique personality and it's not mandatory to be like someone else.
Claudiu Lucian manning up and confronting personal procrastinations (y)
I'm a MAN!!!
GAAAAARRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!
Hahaha
If you have to tell someone you're a man...you're not!
datpmf
Hahaha, nice.
Okay spongebob, but the shaving razor down.
Interesting. I wonder if this is the fundamental difference between Christianity and Judaism. In Christianity, you are supposed to first have an inner change of heart due to the presence of the Spirit which then leads you to grow in virtue over time. Repent (change your heart/mind) and sin no more. Whereas it sounds like Judaism is saying, practice the virtues first and eventually your heart will change. Provocative question: do you believe Christianity has steered our culture in the wrong direction these past 2000 years?
Reluctant Dragon - Great question! In actuality the problem is not Christianity, but the way that Christianity is often taught in America. This is something I learned about 15 years ago, and as a pastor, it has changed how I preach and help people understand the Bible. Our educational system is built more off of the Greek philosophy of learning vs the Hebrew philosophy of learning. In the Hebrew philosophy you could not say that you have truly learned something until you consistently lived it, Greek leaned more heavily, as stated in the video, on the ability to recite, memorize, and/or regurgitate. However, when we understand that the entirety of Scripture has a Jewish context we begin to look at the words used, even in the New Testament, differently. That's why Christ's command in John 15, "...abide in me..." is so foreign to our way of thinking. How can simply walking with someone, or following someone truly be learning? But, in the Jewish context it makes perfect sense. Add to that, when you understand this, you see that Christ's and his apostle's teachings are much more about 'being' than 'doing'.
By the way...LOVED THE VIDEO!
Dave Crandall Interesting, thanks for the insight.
Great comments! As far as I understand, in the Christian teaching we are already living in eschatological times - death has been conquered, the Messias has already been here. We have basically moved away from the chaotic world induced by the original sin. Therefore, in Christianity, it is assumed that you would be able to live perfectly ethical, so you should also be able to think perfectly ethical, or have a "pure" mind.
In Judaism we still live in the sinful world, so acting and thinking ethically is considered to be impossible, because we are polluted by the original sin. You therefore have to act out the laws laid forth in the Torah, in order to be a good person, whereas Christians should automatically be able to be good, since in that theology the world has already returned to its perfect state.
Whether Christianity has steered that our culture in a wrong direction: I wouldn't necessarily say it's wrong, but I think that there has been to great a focus on inwards reflection compared to outwards action. This has especially stifled the protoscientific progress which was beginning in the classical world, but declined in the middle ages. But I would rather lay the blame on Socratic/Platonic philosophical tradition than Christianity, which just seems to be a product of this way of thinking.
In some ways it did because Jews especially Zionists have used Christianity (European and American Christians) for their own benefit and by believing scriptures an seeing Jews as "chosen ones" we have been fooled by them. Many of modern theories which denigrated white people come from Jewish Authors.
They (the Jews) even though they don't believe Christianity have used it as a tool to enslave European people.
Perhaps, but then at least Christianity has tried steering us at all, whereas the other has made little impact on those outside its fold...
I am a female, and regularly read and practice much of what I learn from AoM content. I have for years. It makes sense, as a huMan on so many levels.
TR is my hero. He was a small, sickly rich kid who grew up into the manliest man I can think of.
He's my hero as well. I got busts and pictures of him all over my office.
Art of Manliness You have great taste, and he is a great example of someone becoming great incrementally. That is very cool.
We need a President / Leader like that again. I read when he was commissioner in NYC that he would walk the beat at night, personally protecting the streets. Another time he was bleeding from a gun shot wound and insisted on finishing a long speech. Or charging the mount in Cuba, like you mentioned. Talk about leading from the front, "Do what you can, with what you have, where you are". He believed anyone could make a difference--booyah!
I feel manlier already!
Mission accomplished.
Apostle Paul said:
" I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."
Phillipians 4:13 (NKJV)
I am trying to change a lot of aspects in my life through methods, it's a kind of experiment applied to myself, I call it "Op. Lycurgus" (hehe), right now I am using some tools from PNL and behavioral psychology.
But seriosly, that attempt to grow on my way would be fruitless without the help and information of your exceptional blog and videos. I must thank you for reasearch and share all these information with us.
Good life to you, good sir, regards from Colombia.
***** Thanks for the kind words. Best of like in your self-experimentation.
Mr Brett, your videos are really helpful... I bought a book and it's full of wits and tips. Good job.. You're the hero of the young generation who wants to become a man.
Hmm if you act outwardly with without the inner transformation, won't people think that you're a hippocrite without an authentic, sincere motive. How can you give (act, in this case), what you don't have?
Fake it till you make it.
IceInMaWeiner Fake it till you make it, is a bridge too far without integrity. The workplace is full of 'fakers' empty vessels make most noise. I would say it is more about taking action (not faking) to bring about the internal changes of perception, instigating congnitive dissonance, because at some point your brain then accepts the new commands. However, it is not a green light for being an asshole, or doing things at the cost of other people. Integrity helps to temper this.
You do have it, it's just deep inside you and you need to release it.
I don't see it as hypocritical since you are behaving in a way you believe in. You've already thought it out and decided that this is the way you'd like to be so it is authentic. What's missing is the courage to close the gap. Hypocrisy is "behaving in a way that suggests one has higher standards or more noble beliefs than is the case." Your standards and beliefs are authentic. It's just the courage which needs to be brought in line.
aom how to change motor oil
Boi
I'm so glad to listen to your sensibility afresh.Your common sense is so good to hear again. Thx!
.
I want to be like my great grandfather. Humble, faithful, strong, friendly, and an outdoorsman. I come from a long line of great masculine peoples who range from being in the Freemasons, farmers, hunters, fisherman, royalty, and artists. I hope I can have their wisdom and courage when I come of age. Being 16, I feel like I am one of the only mentally mature ones in my school. Most of my peers are very immature and still act like small children. I hope that they will learn from their wrong doings some day.
tldr: fake it till you make it.
actually no. 'make it, till you dont have to fake it anymore' would be more true....
So the logic that you are driving at is "Fake it till you Make it"??
Rajorshi Mukherjee no the logic is in order to be, you must do. you cannot be an astronaut with going to space. the same is true with manhood.
You’re totally right, I was conscripted to serve in army and I was horrified from the auto-assault rifle, once I considered it and started shooting bullets therefore I’m no more horrific from rifles, act then become! Thanks!
Well done, definitely a good watch for many in our generation of young men.
Music could definitely be more manly.
best way, join the military
did you just skip over the parts about hyper masculinity and conventional wisdom orrrrr?
JebaJebaJemeh fuck no,do not join the military. You will get treated like a child for four years and end up with crippling depression. Take it from me
Dillywick2 depends on your attitude and what you join. If you join security forces then yes you'll be treated poorly if you go into a less grunt like mos then you'll be treated way better. as for the depression, it just depends on the individual.
Nick Harrell fair enough, I'm a grunt at 29 palms and every day is a struggle not to blow my brains out, so perhaps I'm biased lol
The hardest part of all of this is sticking to it! it's natural for the body to be lazy!
Thank you! It's in the behavior not the physical characteristics of a man that makes a man a man