Against the Dark (2009) - Steven Seagal - Comedic Movie Review
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- Опубликовано: 3 авг 2021
- Greetings and welcome back to the darkness! Today on Redeye Reviews we are fighting zombie vampires in Steven Seagals, Against the Darkness
Starring: Steven Seagal, Tanoai Reed, Jenna Harrison, Danny Midwinter, Emma Catherwood, Stephen Hagan, Keith David,
Director: Richard Crudo,
Writer: Mathew Klickstein,
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Holy shit. Steven Seagal has literally transformed into Will Sasso playing as Steven Seagal on MAD TV.
NINjuuuuhhhhhhssss!!!! *Very slowly and sluggishly does karate chop hands.*
I wasn’t much for madtv but those skits had me in stitches!
I love how even during an apocalypse Steven doesn't take the stairs, he'd rather sacrifice someone to the elevator gods.
aaaaaaaaaa sooo truueee!!! jajajajajjaj
he can't! you are a fatist :P
"Sir, should we recall our vampire hunter cosplay team before we blow up that town?"
"Are you kidding? This is the perfect chance to get rid of Seagal son."
"..You're right, I'll order a backup strike just in case"
Hahah. That's gotta be the only reason.
For your Oscar consideration ladies and gentlemen. Steven Seagal is “obese vampire Hunter“. I would like to take the time to thank the content creator for suffering through these and dying inside for all of us
This has quickly become my favorite series to binge. Keep it up, friggin hilarious :)
Thank you so much
I've been a subscriber for 57 years now (2 days) and I'm bingeing my way through the Segal vids every night. I really love how the Segal impersonation devolves with every video. Awesome stuff!
Wow! 57 years?! You must be an expert in your field!
Lol the Seagal impression just kinda turned to mumbling. Some days it just grabs ahold of me and I can't help it lol
Ditto man, every night is 2 episodes. Problem is am now running out of episodes and will be all caught up soon
@@RedEyeReviews To be fair I feel like your impression pretty well matches Steve's deterioration as an actor
@@RedEyeReviews Everybody says he's the best
This whole movie runs off of Resident Evil logic: a building with architecture that makes zero sense, zombies in unlikely places, doors that lock themselves behind you, elevators that mysteriously work again after the zombies are dead, people randomly sitting/resting in the most inconvenient places
Movie or games cause at the very least the games make sense while the movie rewatching it doesn’t
Please don’t ever stop making videos. You’ve brought me hours of joy!
This is modern classic in the Seagal masterworks collection.
Does Seagal really think people would believe he'd choose to walk over a car ride? That's probably the most unbelievable part of the movie. lol
I’m about half way through this Segal series and I just wanted to say thanks for making that guys crazy ass career entertaining to watch through. I appreciate that you had to sit through all of that for my enjoyment. Thanks Redeye!
Haha it wasn't easy and at times I nearly lost my mind...but like Seagal and a 24 inch party sub....we got through it
Steven seagal aka blade
The fat blade
@@bobgunter9608 the man loves to eat that's not crime is it freedom to be fat Steven seagal would say my belly my choice
Tao the katana master.
I’ve been watching your reviews for a while and gave Driven to Kill a shot to see it for myself. Watching it without your commentary was a much needed reminder that there are things in life that are much worse than prison.
Hahahahah this is hilarious. I'm glad I can provide that safe space for Seagal viewings
@15:50 I like how they rock the camera as if the elevator is moving haha, great touch
Is Keith David in every movie ever made . Since his role in Dead Presidents he's been one of my favorite actors, but damn is he the go to actor .
The bit about writing too big and running out of room... Holy shit man that got me.
The creepy hospital symbol? It's from the Stephen King miniseries Kingdom Hospital. I have a feeling they thought no one would notice they used it.
I want the "metal music plays when I say something cool" ability.
It actually was supposed to be a zombie movie but Seagal wanted vampires so -vampires -and he's almost not in the damn thing.
Exactly this!
Think Keith David saw Seagal as the lead on the bill and remembered how marked for death was fun and successful with some great martial arts scenes? It’s not like he needed money at this point
Oh exactly. Easy paycheck for like 2 days of work.
Keith David is awesome but he looked understandably bored in this movie.
@@michaelmyers3709 well yeah, his first job with Seagal was fun at least
I started watching your videos because i was searching for a review of this one. You make me laugh my ass off every time man! Always on point! I do have to say though i was expecting one more thing to be mentioned about this movie. The fact that Seagal spends more than half of the movie walking, using the sword like a feather and slashing pure air. I remember watching this with friends years ago on a "watch a movie so bad, it's good" night and we almost bled through our eyes. Fun fact, i still own that movie and i am proud of it 🤣
So glad you found the channel! It is true. The dude kills alot of air in this one.
this was like two movies. a teen zombie / vamp movie and a Segal movie.
I want more Mashup but ones where he doesn't know the plot. They just ask him to improve
Kingdom Hospital hospital. Johnny Cage. Explosion at the end which definitely looks like the Charlie’s Angels helicopter stunt rejigged again (Half Past Dead). Chatty zombies. Seagal guest starring at intervals throughout. What’s not to like. Watch out for the long haired dude in future, he stars in pretty much every Seagal movie from hereon in. Driven to Kill is bizarre but weirdly awesome for a DTV.
The long haired dude. . . I watched something where they constantly referred to him as 'bobby wiseau', Tommy's younger brother, and I cannot help but see it like that for eternity now
Hahaha pervert vampire part was funny af 😂
Lol and SO random. Such a bizarre scene
RER's Herbert the Pervert voice is on point
Strong 'I studied the blade' vibes here...
Loving these Seagull videos, keep up the good work!!
Thank you so much
2:45 I laughed so hard my side hurts. I gotta be honest, part of me wants the apocalypse so I can run around in duster with a sword.
The elevator is powered by souls
I'd buy it.
Looking forward to Driven to Kill. Has arguably the best final villain death scene of any Seagal movie ever. And the funniest knife fight.
Dude the knife fight is incredible! I knew you would appreciate it. Look out for my video this Saturday.
@@RedEyeReviews can’t wait 👌 to be fair, the knife fight is awesome. Most of the fights in it are decent in a rough-around-the-edges kind of way. Seagal even gets hit a few times which is a pretty elusive thing. Also has the best conversation-in-the-presence-of-a-half-naked-stripper moment ever to grace film.
"Its all good in the hood, honeydew." Damn these videos are good.
Lol thanks friend.
Against the Dark II: Ice Skating Uphill
Lol
The mannequin was more convincing than Steven. Sorry, I mean 'Tao'.
Man I have no idea how many of these videos I've watched. You're hilarious. I was shocked to see you only have 6k subs!! You deserve much more. Keep it up !!
Thank you so much!! So glad you like the videos. I've loved making them.
Binged watched all the seagul videos you’ve done. Amazing work! More more more! Great channel
Yay! Thank you
Just perfectly moving me a long à slightly intoxicated Sunday. Sir, I thank you.
I gotchyu!
Keith David with the guy who played Johnny Cage in the Mortal Kombat movie. Yuss
More importantly he's in marked for death
Person 1: "I go where the wind blows"
Person 2: "But we are going to the same place"
Person 1: "... Wind blows"
I love how you sound like a normal human in this review not a character.
That review just made my morning, although it was a year ago....lol
I must be late to the reunion....lol
"All hallways lead to Rome." - Susan B Anthony
Think I’ve watched every episode with ste you’ve done at least twice.
Good work
Funny as ever 😆👍
Thank you :) I'm glad you are getting some joy from these
TODAY JUST GOT A LITTLE BETTER!! 👏🏼👏🏼🙌🏼
Eh yo! Tony Colorado has joined the party. :) hope you like the video buddy
11:05 - That guy in the picture would be PERFECT for a live-action of "Titan" from Megamind!!
lmao Mr herbert's voice there spot on that really cracked me up 🤣
Next Seagal movie review is Driven to Kill? Does someone chauffeur Seagal around, and he doesn’t even have to move, except to fire a gun out of the passenger window?
4:54 maybe it’s like the The Last of Us games…once you push your way into a new area, stuff collapses behind you and you can’t go back through that door. So loot while you can 😉
thank you so much for watching these things for us all.
1:29 look at the way seagull is prancing on the left hand corner of the screen lol
This is by the far the worst Seagal film is his filmography for me. I've sat through this once, shelved it, and haven't moved it in 4 years.
See I thought it was OK...definitely near the bottom but I'm also a sucker for B-rated horror movies. So I have a soft spot for it.
@@RedEyeReviews My problem with it is Seagal simply is not in it enough. He gets maybe a total of 20 minutes screen time(that's being generous) yet he gets top billing.
@@djcease1996 very true! He is on the cover and like you said, has very little screen time or speaking lines.
You should check out Flight of Fury or End of a Gun. Against the Dark which suddenly look like Citizen Kane.
The movie calling them Vampires is really another thing from I am Legend, apparently George A. Romero called the zombies zombies in Night of the Living Dead to differentiate the movie from I Am Legend in the first place
Was the mannequin shot a Steven Seagal idea? He comes to the director and whispers inaudibably to him, "Hey man uh, how about we get a manequin with some bazoombas to be a reaction shot in this horrifying scene...You know I wrote the best screenplay ever right? I've been writing them for like 45 years...yeah, I got like, 50 oscars too."
Also I love Keith David showing up as a military man. I wonder how much he got paid, probably not a boat payment but maybe worth enough for an Actor of his standing to just spend a day, or however long it took to do his scenes.
It had to be! But for REAL! I went back and forth with leaving mannequin boobs in my video or not. And they were just too real..lol Seagal left me no choice
Idk why but I’ve started watching these red eye Seagal videos and having a hard time stopping
Woot! Welcome to the club lol :)
I saw someone throw away a bowl of piss this afternoon.
Nobody was dying before seagal came along 🤣
@9:58 nice attempt with the Herbert voice. Lol
In the end, the military destroys the hospital. Why didn't they just do that in the beginning? The hospital is so massive that it will take them 3 hours to get to a set of stairs. This one magical hospital where all hallways lead to the same place.
I’m Tao! 😂😂😂🎶🎶🎶🎵🎶🎶
I’m binging these videos! Do big trouble in little china! Classic movie… you can put it in a Kurt Russel playlist
You're right about the guns out in the open. In this zombie type scenario, realistically guns would either be where the owner left them or in their houses and I suppose surrounded by hordes in the open. Depends on if you think if in a zombie apocalypse whether the zombies would congregate in towns and cities. I suppose that all theories are just as good since it is not possible to have zombies anyways
There's no way you can write anything with blood that neatly.
No scene where Seagal drives a hot rod over Johnny and Edgar Winter? Too bad.
Your sacrifice is appreciated
You also forgot to mention the dude in the blue shirt in the scenes with Keith David is Liden Ashby, Johnny Cage himself.
New Segal movie title
PERFUME OF THE GUN
a space zombie, werewolf, apocalyptic, romantic period drama.
I want this to be true SO bad
This is why cabin in the woods is the best horror monster flick. The pothead is the most able character and plus it is funny as shit. I also love tucker and Dale vs. Evil
There was even a random arm in the hallway of guys he was getting dragged through 🤣
Seagal saw Blade and thought "oh."
The Omega Man is still the best filmed version of this book.
Amen to that. . . Only one that actually did the whole role reversal thing towards the end. . . Fuck I am legend gives me the shits so hard, why is it even called that if he doesn't end up 'the legend' for the new race. . . So fucking stupid
man, that part 6:55, the charcacter is so close to being synced with your voice :)
Uwe Boll: My movie "Alone in the Dark" is the worst movie mankind can make!
Steven Seagal: Hold my Viagra.
Enters "Against the Dark."
We're not here to decide which videos are right or wrong. We're here to decide which comments live or die.
Hahaha exactly this my friend.
I played with Munoz and he was the best Tackle ever. Before each game he would eat a big plate of refried beans and then shit on himself. His steaming logs would keep the defenders away and made him slippery.
Nice to see johny cage in the movie
Hello Redeye , now this film im looking forward to you covering lol , ive seen it it was a confusing mess lol
It's such a weird one
@@RedEyeReviews Its like alot of Segals films , there so bad there almost good lol , Great Channel btw its so funny :)
@@RedEyeReviews thats one way of putting it lol
Did anyone else notice that when he was talking about the lights popping and the generator that the sound they made is ripped directly from Half Life 1?
Hahaha amazing
So what are you gonna do, now? I'm gonna take a dump. INTENSE MUSIC PLAYS.
Maybe with the bathroom stalls people got the virus and felt vomity and locked themselves in stalls before dying
Oooo good theory. I'll buy it
If Keith David doesn’t make a movie better then there is no point in talking about this film at all.
13:05 is Segal wearing hearing aids? I doubt ear plugs since shotgun blast is cgi
Kieth David makes every movie better.
It really pisses me off that something with Seagal in it has ANYTHING to do with RM, esp "I Am Legend". That book weirded me out and stayed with me for years. It's also the book that inspired Stephen King and Dean Koontz.
I don't know why, but that crew sure sounded a lot like Scooby Doo.
"All hallways lead to Rome" - Caesar, probably
Funny how the lady hunters hardly did anything compared to Seagal and Reed. They get grabbed and NEVER shook the freaks off and fight back. Hell, the blonde chick KILLED one through stomping. She wasn't trained. lol
i started watching this yesterday. made it through 15mins and turned it off. it was trash. You made it watchable.
And the guy in the elevator shaft is an actual elevator vampire...lol
Hope in the future you can do a comedic review on Wonder woman 1984 and Cats
Oh God Cats!?!?!?!? Ronald Tan...just for you my friend I will add both movies to the list haha
@@RedEyeReviews I know Cats is an awful movie but I do believe in you and your writing than you can really do a comedic review on that movie.Again hoping for all the best on your channel
@@ronaldtan274 what a great compliment friend :) thank you very much!
And also vampires being separated is straight from “the art of war” you know “don’t divide and conquer “...lol
0:59 'The Omega Man' is better.
1:58 Pearl is the best character from the first 'Blade' movie.
3:54 And he gets kicked off the server for provoking a witch.
9:52 Depending on her age, that vamp might be a hebephile or an ephobophile. "Walter, what's a pederast?"
10:11 Ackchyually, it's pronounced "Dao." No one knows why it's spelled with a "T."
11:10 Did you ever see Tourist Trap?
12:25 Check that chicken-wing, greenhorn! If that's a shorty shotgun with a stockless pistol grip, he should hold it farther away from his face. Ah, but he's gotta do the "bent elbows" thing, just like he does with pistols.
13:54 I can't tell because of his black coat, but I'd bet you he has the stock collapsed.
17:10 Ever see 'Screamers'? The droids in that movie pulled the same shenanigans.
17:24 Darwin award.
20:55 But if it's eating their brains anyway, he's sort of doing them a favor-go-nuts.
21:04 Is he left-handed?
21:12 Have you seen 'The Last Man on Earth'?
21:34 His voice is warped...
21:44 ...but hers isn't.
Has Keith David ever been in a movie with David Keith?
You wouldn't even be aware a modern hospital lost power at all. lol They have multiple back up systems including redundancy like multiple generators and battery back ups etc etc. If anything, maybe a smaller modern hospital, you may see some lights appear slightly dimmer than usual and or every other light out, but that would be about it. Def no flickering. The way hospitals are wired, that most likely wouldn't happen. Never built a hallway? Pfft. I don't know if I can trust you now knowing you have never built a hallway. EVERYONE has built a hallway. lol
Right?! Probably the longest lasting power after any sort of event.
I have built many walls! Just none in the shape of a hall lol
This video needs more views XD
Thanks friend
Linden Ashby! Not too many in a movie with both Street Fighter And Mortal Kombat actors, but Seagal?! Hmm..yeah
Also seagal is as hard as his imagination thinks he is . In his head he is stronger than superman the guy is delusional but would look amazing as a fat superman but love his movies all the same .
I never Tom Segura did movie reviews!
Excellent review though.
we actually had fun watching this movie, i hate to admit -
Steven Seagal's next movie title will probably be something like
Extreme justice kill!
Linden Ashby, damn Johny Cage, what happend? :D
you forgot to mention lynden ashby who played johnny cage in 1994 mortal kombat
Wasn't there a random room full of mannequins in another Seagal movie too? 🤔🤣😂
12:25 Steven after hearing YMS want review his movies.