DBT Skill: Radical Acceptance
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- Опубликовано: 2 ноя 2014
- I'm Kati Morton, a licensed therapist making Mental Health videos!
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I watch this video almost every day💪🏼
🙌🙌🙌
Do you I started this in February I'm not great and reading and writing iv told them this over n over I'm just not getting it iv got 4 mouths leafed theres no other chance doing this again
Sounds like you need therapy
Why don’t you just buy the DBT workbook?
I have a few CBT videos that I go back to. These videos help us to go back to the center of ourselves. The world takes us away from our center each day, and this can even sometimes be helpful because it gives new thoughts, but I also believe that we need things like these videos to take us back to our center, where we are safe and capable. Thanks for posting this.
“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.”
― Viktor E. Frankl
Wow, that is powerful. Thank you!
dsmn,,, that's hurts. I have to change myself now
Beautiful book! It changed a lot for me am inspired many people with radical acceptance 💪🏼❤️
That makea no sense
Radical acceptance doesn’t mean you aren’t going to hurt anymore. It’s facing the hurt head on, sitting in it, knowing you can’t change the circumstances. What we fear are the emotions and the pain
and knowing, it won't last forever!
Sometimes it's difficult to know if you really can't change the circumstances and dangerous to fall into learned helplessness
@@verfassungspatriot❤
@@verfassungspatriotNo, pain often doea last forevee.
Acceptance seems pointless if it doesn't help anything.
“It isnt anyone’s responsibility to be what I want or need them to be”
"I can't change what has already happened. But I can control my reaction to the situation, so be careful not to overreact. This too will pass."
I'd rather live by myself, and avoid all these judgemental people,.
My mantra:
Slow down, this isnt an emergancy, youre safe.
Says _you?_ And who are _you?_
I really liked this one. Thanks Kati!
My mantra when I get emotionally caught up in someone else's situation is "Not my circus, not my monkeys."
Yes, sometimes you need to take a step back and let people solve their own problems.
Thank you for sharing your mantra. It's made me feel much better 💖
I like that. Thank you. Harder when it affects your family relations or financial life, but still...
But that has nothing to do with radical acceptance. What’s happening in someone’s life that has nothing to do with you isn’t your reality. This has everything to do with accepting our own reality. So it is our own circuits and the players are the monkeys in our life 🤡
They weren't kidding when they told me this is going to be a lot of hard work. I was in a puddle of tears after watching this.
MsTaraVlogs ...so true. Hang on, God loves us.
Two years on...how are you doing now?
MsTaraVlogs how are you doing now 2yrs later? I just listened to this today and at the start of my journey 😔
What are you talking about? Crying is not hard to do.
“Those who have a 'why' to live, can bear with almost any 'how'.”
― Viktor E. Frankl
Finbarr Farragher ...I love v.f. logotherapy😄
No.
Having a why, does not change your ability to do anything.
I'm in DBT at the moment ! I LOVE it. It's challenging but is having a positive effective.
I have bulimia and I get on with DBT much better than I did CBT.
My FAVOURITE mantra is ... You can't stop the waves but you can learn to surf !!!! 🌊🏄🏄
#wisemind #the most effective thing!!
I have learned one very important condition about Radical Acceptance- Be very sure what you radically accept is the truth.
I was lost in intrusive and untrue thoughts and was very ready to radically accept that I had to die and I was in the middle of slashing my wrist when a friend stopped me. Thankfully I would go on to learn that I was believing more than a few lies. So please, only radically accept truth.
I'm in DBT therapy and it's been helping me so much. I'm learning that I'm not alone. I'm learning tools that are really helping me in my daily life. I still suffer but it's seems the days a suffer are less. DBT Therapy works.
there's a phrase i heard in a motivational speech once that goes: ¨maybe right now you can't fathom getting through another year like this, or another month like this, another week another day like this, but ask yourself if you can get through this moment in time, just this moment, and make that your goal¨ and that's something i say to myself over and over again when i'm feeling particularly awful, that i can get through this moment, i've had many many bad moments and i know i can do it, it's okay if i need to think smaller and simpler and take it step by baby step, the first achievement is making it though this one moment, and that much i think i can
This is so powerful ❤
I love that you did a video on this!! DBT saved my life. I have BPD and spent a year and half in DBT group learning the skills. It's a lot of work at first but then the skills just become part of your life and something that you do naturally without thinking so much about it.
"The thing I fear the most has already happened to me." and "Please remember love." It helps me to fill in the book of my life with good memories so the "bad" memories/pages are put in perspective more. A physical manifestation of this would be creating a scrapbook which is on my to do list!
I'm completely distracted by that really cool frog in your background haha
"You can't defeat the demons you enjoy playing with."
Oh ouch, and thank you I know that but good to see it said.
Wow! Needed this today 💗
Well said👍
Love that quote
Wow...
Would you consider or do you know anyone who has a DBT group online? I can't find a group in my area that works with my schedule. Your videos are a tremendous public service. I can imagine you've probably saved several lives as well.
not sure if you said it in the video because I can't watch it yet but I love this 'equation'
:)
suffering= pain+nonacceptance
Im working through that exact book. I wasnt expecting you to have it. But im very glad to see some videos about dbt. I find that simply reminding myself that whats done is done and theres no changing that makes me feel better. Thanks for posting. Hope you have a great day!
Thank you I needed to remember this skill! I do dbt classes and forget all of the skills that I could use to cope better, I love having your channel to surf and remind myself of what I could use.
Hahaha “that little squishy space” love it! 😍😍❤️ I love your channel! You are such a light in this world. Thank you!
I’m sooo happy I found you! I needed this for a long time. Thank you ❤️
This is helping me since I'm doing DBT on my own. I'm doing therapy, but focusing on other stuff. I'm doing this on my own. These videos are helpful. Thanks!
Here in 2024 and ordering workbook. The 'mantra' way of looking at it is really helpful. Thank you!
Thank you for your thoughtful, helpful and informative videos. I'm glad I found your channel today.
This is so true and so important to learn, this is where I’m at in my healing journey
I still can't comprehend this exercise. Whenever I try it, I derealize to the max and I'm very cold and detached. The last time I tried it I actually made my boyfriend cry.
I just discovered Dbt and it is definitely a process. I'm trying to remember my tools. Thank for these videos
Kati. You're videos, like this one, are so helpful and no nonsense. Thank you so much. (From a psychotherapist in the UK.)
at this point I have realized that not everyone's DBT experiences the same. But when I was in DBT the biggest part of the radical acceptance skill was the 4 options part. Them being
1. Solve the problem
2. change how I feel
3. Accent it
4. Stay miserable/ suffer
knowing that part of the scale was something that made such a complicated skill easier for me to grasp I don't know if you forgot to mention that or if you purposely left that part out but I think it's something worth mentioning.
also you didn't mention turning the mind and willingness. that was a big part of radical acceptance and my DBT course you honestly couldn't fully do radically accept if you weren't 'willing' ( meaning of skeleton willing vs. willfulness) and if you were in such a state that acceptance was impossible so you had to 'turn the mind' in order to get to radically accepting it.
I do understand that you probably try to keep your videos at a certain amount of time and DBT itself can be very complicated to explain. I very much appreciate your channel.
"Anything worth having requieres effort and courage" or "When people live, there will be sins. What's important isn't avoiding sings, but forgiving them. A world becomes ugly and twisted when people try to stay pure." This last one is from an anime, I really liked it and I found the anime very helpful, too! :)
first quote: Sometimes what's worth having is what we already have. The rest is just bonus
second quote: I especially like this one. By staying "pure", we delude ourselves into thinking that we are perfect. Then, we can't even look at our own mistakes or fathom them. This often keeps us stuck in our unhelpful behaviors.
What anime is this if you don't mind?
I can't change what has already happened. Thank you :)
My VA psychiatrist has recommended researching DBT for my PTSD/TBI symptoms. Your videos have helped as a primer...aaaand the video just answered my next question (workbook).
There are so many great therapists with amazing advice on youtube. I wish I had you as my therapist kati! Thanks for all the great nuggets of info!
Just reading the description is helpful already to me right now. Didn't realize that's what I have been sitting here doing... Wow. BPD really includes a lot of pain. I'm happy I found skills I can learn to find a way out..
Thank you so much for sharing this video, Kati. It's amazing and so helpful. I feel that this will help so many of us. Please do more videos on DBT. xxx
Omg very helpful , Thank you!! I'm into this and not diagnosed with any disorder- it's freeing and empowering info
Thank you for this great video about radical acceptance. 🙏🏼
So helpful! I'm doing this at the moment in my DBT group! Perfect thank you :) xx
Thank you Kate for the DBT Video's. xo very helpful. god bless you
Really great video, Kati. Thank you very much for sharing this.
Go Katie! You know your stuff! Don't let anyone tell you different! sweet 💕
Acceptance is not a distraction technique. You are completely wrong on that. Quite the opposite. It allows the person to completely immerse themselves in the sensations, knowing they are harmless. Invite the feelings! Welcome them! They are beautiful! Let them take over and warm you! This is when fear ends. Coping techniques only fuel the fire. When you completely accept these emotions, you are free to feel them in their entirety, and suffering ends.
Yes!!! It is like “I’m anxious. So what? I feel it. I notice it. It is what it is. This happened and I feel this. Feelings pass” and that’s when I feel powerful enough to do better for myself
My mantra; "one day at a time, one need at a time."
Thank you for these DBT videos.
This is worth watching a few times. Appreciate the posting
This topic was really good, and your tips very helpful Thx
Ahhhh, thank you, Kati!
my problem with radical acceptance is it backfired - I radically accept the things I cannot change in my life so I just get more depressed because i can't do anything to get out of my predicament so I just drown in it
Joy Rose you cannot change the things that happened, but that does not mean you cannot change yourself and the way you respond to thoss things!
Joy Rose ...I agree. Have that problem now.
You can also analyse the situation when you are in control of your emotions and make a plan to change what is bothering you.
Joy Rose
I agree
Joy Rose unfortunately that is not radical acceptance it works but its a hard practice and takes a while for it to click
That workbook is available as free PDF if you google the name + pdf
I can't find the name of this book...she says its in her "widget" whatever that is...can you tell me the name of it so I can get it 8n the pdf form for free
Ahhh I just got a copy in the mail the other day!I got the recommendation from watching a interview on another channel but I'm so excited to get into the workbook
"This moment is the result of over million decisions " I needed to write that down
Thanks for the DBT lesson. Very helpful.
So glad to find this gal!
thank you so much for this interestingly awesomely ha bisky vid i loved this so much i never heard about this before until now
learning is fun
"Accept it or change it"
Either I accept the situation, or I start looking forward to see how I can change it. Either way I won't dwell in the past and hurt.
However whenever I start looking forward I often gotta tell myself that baby-steps are steps towards said change as well. I can't change the world in minutes, I can however start reading up on politics in minutes. First baby-step taken.
thank you for helping me💞
my mom is extremely mean and says really really awful things. i keep repeating 'she'll keep talking until theres no words left" for as long as it takes for me to calm down
My mom is the same, and I might try doing what you are. Thank you!
I keep coming back to watch again and again
Personally, I experience a LACK of emotion. It's very frustrating. I do see how I can implement what you were saying about not ruminating in my pain and cause unnecessary suffering. I've also been trying to keep a thought journal, to see what particular thoughts upset me, and how I can turn the thought around and think something better/more positive. In turn, this lessens my anxiety. Lovely video as always, Kati. xoxo
Alyson Bye YES. I'm currently using DBT in a therapy program I'm in. And it's hard to relate to lack of emotion rather than too much emotion. Like I feel so empty of emotion, not full of it. I'm so glad that you said the same thing!!!
Alyson Bye ...agree, have to admit that its less painful to be numb
As a grad student running a group on radical acceptance this morning you are saving me lol 😢❤
I love your shirt! And your videos, as always :)
I love these topics on DBT. they help a lot :D
Nice top.
Also thank you for everything and peace to all.
Thank you for clarifying, ive been questioning if im avoiding things by accepting them and then letting go of bitterness and anger to focus on something else. Ive been practicing radical acceptance alot and its been working but my girlfriend ask if it was avoidance i didnt think so but its so hard to put it into words.
I am using the serenity prayer on a piece of card.
Thank you
Watching because I was "put onto the waiting list but lost on it" for DBT over 2 years ago,still waiting for DBT
DBT changed my life.
Laura Lamb do you still feel like this?
Never done DBT but always wanted to... I don't know of anyone local who does it... Think I'm going to do what was mentioned in another video and get 2 of those workbooks and hand one of them to my therapist.
My issue is that the past just seems to keep repeating itself. Every time I forgive/forget, the same shit keeps happening over and over again. So I feel like no matter what I try there's no hope...
I had a therapist bring a small book section about "radical acceptance." No education of DBT, or that these were because they were perceiving me to have overwhelming emotions... just.. "hey... this should help...just...this" The reminder of this is just affirmation that I made the right choice in asking to see someone else.
Just learned this in DBT
Moreeee of these, please~~
"I am growing day-by-day, and my beliefs will positively change with time as long as I give an effort"
"I can visualize a positive thought just as much as I can visualize a negative thought pattern."
This moment is a result of over a million other past actions
Acceptance is letting go of the hope for a better past.
Loving the Buddha frog
Tara Brach also does a bit about radical acceptance, although more from a religious Buddhist point of view.
I personally got traumatised when radical acceptance was first introduced to me. I didn't understand what it was all about at all, but I felt like I was pressured to ignore the reality of something not having an optimal outcome, ignore my need to understand why things happened like that. I felt like my reasons for being upset didn't matter at all, and that I was just pressured to do some miraculous stuff to seem ok to everyone. It seemed to me that no one saw that it really mattered for me to understand what was going on and to change something about my situation.
That being said, I'm pretty sure that studying physics brought some own form of radical acceptance for me. I kind of learned to accept the weirdest facts about our reality as I went. There's some really strange stuff, honestly, quantum mechanics is pretty weird. I have been noticing that this is something I can apply to other situations as well.
I too feel like they forget we can totally feel some way for valid reasons and it’s very hard just to let things go. I personally live 99% in the past and just can’t move forward. And having Tourettes with painful tic attacks every day at the moment, I’m meant to just accept that’s my life and that I woke up with it and it’s probably chronic? Also they forget to identify that some things are not okay to accept such as an abusive individual. But because of past traumas we might not recognise it’s not okay or think we deserve it etc. It’s more complicated than people make out
Mine are "This is the way it has to be" and or "I can't change what has already happened"
My personal mantra is "I am here. I am now."
@Kati Morton Thank you for this video! I love your shirt, where did you get it??
thanks love ... love the Buddha frog
Guys, i just realized after a lifetime of strife that i May have BPD. I hate my life and I’m super sensitive and can’t maintain relationships through my lifetime! I sometimes feel super overwhelmed...it’s like my pain and suffering is palpable. I feel like I’m just a bad and sad human being. I need to find a support group so i know I’m not alone or just a mistake of the universe...because sometimes it feels like that. 😞
You’re not a bad human being and I hope you now have support.
Oh wow, this is what is behind Tara Brach's books and talks!
And that's exactly what I'm about to do compare what Katie Morton says to Tara Brach says about radical acceptance.
@@angelwolf5089 oh wow really? I'd love to b hear your thoughts! I love Tara, and from what I've heard Taea goes into it in a lot more depth than what I've heard Kati do, but I love hearing Kati's mental health talks too. Kati's more about the mental concepts while Tara's about the spiritual side.
@@ababy6074 Good for you 🤗. It's good to have a small group of instructors whom you admire as they all have different approaches which is great for helping you learn concepts. Tara is still very difficult for me. But you're right. I've listened to Katie before and liked her approach but never considered looking at her videos concerning about trauma. She's very good at explaining things and I do like her way of explaining issues. So now I think I'll add Katie to my list. Why don't you check out Taras videos on radical acceptance? If you leave a comment there I'll know it's you.
Very interesting!
Could you please make a video about RO DBT
"I can hear my triggers, but I can control my reactions."
This too shall pass.
Hey! my name is Emilee and I have watched lots of videos on signs and symptoms of depression.I have also heard a lot of people say it may just be hormones, i'm having a really hard time figuring it out. I go 24-48 hours without eating because I just don't have an appetite,I don't like leaving my house to see Friends or family. And not sleeping great and very easily agitated. Maybe I'm being a bit dramatic, or overthinking this but I would appreciate some guidance and advice. Thank you! By the way I love you and your videos! 💜 sorry for being so persistent. ☺️
It is what it is.
This one, right here.
I have to come to terms that the friend I had for years isn't there for me no more and know that I still have people that care about me by the news sometimes for me is hard for me to watch
Excellent video ;o)
It is sometimes to use radical accepting thigs for me but I need to try more
great video
i was talking about dbt skills with my therapist today and she didn't really say much about it i guess because she specialises in cbt
but i have a feeling that in situations when i feel overwhelmed by something a kind of mantra could definetely calm me down quicker than asking myself what i'm thinking and dealing with it that way
anyhow i had the idea of using a poem as a mantra. is it common to use something like that as a skill?
i'd love to see more coping skill videos :D
have a nice day
It is what it is
The challenge for me, now that I've memorized some coping statements, is timing. There are times when I could benefit from using Radicall Acceptance but there are also times where I shouldn't. I find that, so far in my reading, the book doesn't really emphasize enough how radicall Radicall Acceptance isn't meant to be on all the time. In some scenarios fight or flight is the ideal response.
I say this because I ended up giving more information then I should've during a scam because I was deliberately trying not to be angry and judgmental. When the scammer made mistakes, I gave them way more benefit of the doubt then they deserved.
Tye DBT book isn't showing up on Amazon. Can you paste a link here for me please. It'd be deeply appreciated. Great video by the way