6 DBT Distraction Techniques & a PLAN! Dialectical Behavior Therapy | Kati Morton
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- Опубликовано: 6 июл 2024
- I'm Kati Morton, a licensed therapist making Mental Health videos!
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I recently found out why i was addicted to food. When I was a child I was very lonely and kept trying to get attention by excelling in all subjects but no one cared. I tried to make friends but found out no one wanted to be my friend. My father was an addict. Everything and everyone disappointed me. Food was the only thing that made me happy. Now I realize i need a distraction from food. I'm sick of hurting myself. And yes it's hurting me. I deserve better. I have great friends now. I have talents. I'm luckier than i know.
This comment is really old and I don’t know you but I’m going through a mental health journey myself learning and educating myself and based on this comment you’re totally on the right track. Reflecting on childhood and finding connections in your behavior then and now. Again I don’t know you but I’m really proud of you stranger! I hope you’re getting better now
im so sorry im giving ur inner child a huge hug 🫂💖💖💖
I would like to add two more for anybody who wants them:
Memorize all the words to a song, poem, or significant number that is long enough to actually distract you and then recite it to yourself. Try to pick something that you can keep adding to like your favorite Shakespeare monologue or something you can brag about when you get a little bit carried away and want to show off. I don’t know how you like to live. Lol.
Also, I found this one by accident but it’s effective nonetheless, try to learn a song in a different language. Not a song that you like that’s translated to a different language but a genuine song that is actually from the cultural of people that commonly speak that language. It’s a great journey to find the song as long as you have headphones, lol
This diagnosis has explained a lot but reading comments like this makes a lot of sense.
Before I even knew what bpd was, I wrote all the lyrics of "the man who sold the world" in my notebook and didn't quite know why. I think I was finding my own coping mechanism without realizing it.
Im binge listening katie morton while doing chores.. I hate chores, but it really helps you distracted and make yourself feel better about yourself.
I have a few different techniques to help me but I do find that doing chores help a lot. Just look around the house and find something that needs to be done. If you need to clean your room or your bathroom or go through storage. Something. I just turn on some music and start cleaning. It really helps me distract myself.
Journal topic:
Give people High fives just for getting out of bed! Being a person is hard sometimes
Cathrine
i think your cool sweater was a good distraction. where did it come from?
Don't Feed the monster. Cuddle it.
That's a funny looking frog-monster behind Kati!
Love this comment
Thank you. More mini DBT Techniques videos please - maybe on the Interpersonal Relationships topic. :)
I find it almost impossible to hurt someone's feelings even if they've hurt me,its extremely frustrating
I went through that same workbook on my own and found it extremely helpful! Probably the best therapy workbook I have personally used.
This is a great video. I did DBT a few years ago, and it really helped to shift my life to be somewhat functioning and I was able to do stuff I never thought possible. Now, after 3 years I find myself struggling again. Binge eating is becoming normal and I have spent a few months feeling very adrift, but not knowing how to fix it. Watching this video has helped me to make a plan, I am getting back on the DBT train, and am excited to be in a place where I can support myself and make alternatives to the destructive shit.
Running or working out I find is a good distraction. It burns up that pent up negativity / anger ect . I was boiling with rage and I went for a hard run .. it seemed to calm me .
Anne Appleby I’m a very physical person and if I could physically work out I think I might explode.
@Joey Barszcz do you have any tips on how to exercise inside your house with no equipments? because that's me right now lol
Thank you for always being so positive and enthusiastic. It helps to motivate me to help myself.
I LOVE DBT!! Kati, you've saved my life multiple times, thank you!
This is soo helpful Kati! Need to remember this when SH urges strike. Thank you
This is literally the best most useful video I've seen on self-help for borderline. The way you describe each category and the emotion you put into your voice mean that I know I'll remember these techniques and think of your lovely caring face when shit gets tough. Thank you Kati! ❤
"Weeelcome!" Oh my God that is my favorite thing
Thanks so much for doing another DBT video!
I always find that when I try to distract the negative thoughts are just building up in the background until it becomes too much and the distraction no longer works
And I feel worse than before
So true for me too
Yes, I use EFT tapping to face, feel, and move forward beyond the trauma into healthy behavior.
Same.
I cant get engaged with anything I’m trying to distract myself with.
Me too!!! How do we stop this??
I think calling these strategies distraction is a mistake because the purpose is to ground and reconnect with the safety of your present. Eventually the person needs to transition to being more mindful and be able to observe the thoughts and memories for what they are: an experience in the past that keeps hunting us and so we need to let go to live and develop your potential.
Also, we need to try what it’s meaningful to each person and not like a cut and paste exercise
Thank you Katie I have bpd and you’re the only one who helps and doesn’t annoy me😂
Dr fox is awesome
I’D LOVE A RESPONSE TO MY CONCERNS ABOUT THESE TECHNIQUES:
When we are suffering to where it becomes unbearable (to the point of self harm), do people have the motivation to go get ice cream?
Would having sex while symptomatic be healthy for our partners (especially severe depression or severe agitation)?
A distraction is usually something STRONGER than what we are feeling, or it wouldn’t distract us from symptoms for long. “People watching” or ice cream might not help those with symptoms strong enough to engage in self harm. I love the ice cube one though!
Wouldn’t using a red marker keep someone fixated on the unhealthy subconscious pattern of resorting to self harm considering how similar the act is? I’d love your feedback here Katie and thanks for your dedication to helping others. Mindfulness is a great tool for any human being. The present moment is everything 😊👍
another one good for me is to eat a little of some super spicy stuff (you can even have w you all times a little bottle of tabasco), also drinking as fast as i can a big glass of super cold seltzer w lots of ice cubes.
in my experience having sex on rough times is NOT a healthy choice at all. it worked in not harming "physically" but left me w a strong dissociation. is now super hard for me to relate sensitive or caring w/sex. I just use to not feel sad afterwards, but totally numb.
I think the marker one is for someone who is having the compulsion to do that so that they can hopefully get the sensation without actually causing injury. The long term hope is that you will learn different coping skills to deal with it instead.
Sometimes eating ice cream is self harm. See My 600 Pound Life.
Me eating ice cream is self harm. I have lots of food intolerances and if I eat them then I can have symptoms ranging from the food going right through me to having bad stomach aches and head aches or feeling like I have the flu.
@@amandamandamands then use common sense and don't eat ice cream
The raised points are valid. People who inflict harm on themselves need to be treated with care. Some are undergoing a lot of pain and some just want an escape. Thank you for this video, Kati.
very helpful, things I hadn't even thought of. Thanks!
This video is great. Your videos are great. Your teaching style is great, taking complicated subjects and making them understandable without compromising or oversimplifying the essential truth(s) of the subject(s). Thanks, Kati!
Thank you!! I really liked these tip videos!!
I DO love your videos! I´m a brazilian phychologist and learn a lot with you! Examples and easy way to put the theory into practice! Congratulations!
You are fantastic! Very helpful.
you are awesome and a pleasant distraction. The positive vibes you infuse through your charm, sincerity, attitude and your innocence touched me a lot. God bless you girl. You truly inspires. I can write a full page about you dear.
Thanks for all you do!
I never considered self harm as more than physical, total revelation. Thanks for putting yourself out there
i think i do emotional self-harm
Thanxs very much Katie, I hope u can keep on doing more videos on dbt.
Thank you for your work!
I've never really understood how snapping elastic bamds, digging nails into skin or holding ice cubes are alternatives to self harm. Yes, they distract you. But they still hurt so it's essentially self harm to me :/ I already self harm in ways that don't leave any marks but they do hurt so they're still an unhealthy way of coping
This is so true. Many who self harm disagree strongly with mental health providers suggesting rubber bands or ice... it is not teaching self care or self regulation, it is simply continuing the harming behavior in a less dangerous way. But it offers no healing or recovery.
I used to use the red marker or paint idea too, but it is still triggering that mental/emotional/chemical response from seeing blood and feeling a sensation on tour skin. So I've stopped using that technique.
for me I can say the same thing about eating ice cream as a pleasurable distraction, due to having binge eating disorder. I guess finding something that counteracts the issue your struggling with makes the most sense?
nah it’s so much better to snap your arm with a rubberband than to take a razor blade and go to far by accident. she also said these are in extreme circumstances, when you’re trying to choose a better alternative than, say cutting.
i’d rather snap then accidentally cut a vein because i was too into it. obviously use the best available distraction at the time.
It helps you for a short period till you find a better coping mechanism. It’s way better to use an ice cube, candles or elastic bands than cut or hit yourself until you start to bleed.
This ^
I love you, life saver, thank u, i love ur energy
Thank you for this Video! I have struggles finding a therapist because where i live we have no therapist doing dbt therapy so this was really helpful!
loved the video! it's very helpful and educational. thank you for everything, kati
lovely. so cheerful. thank you.
Holy hell, this was super helpful. Thank you so much!
Great value in a concise bite. Great job.
I really liked these suggestions. Thank you! 😊
kati you're fabulous -- great advice. hugs from london
"I forgot to feed my cat" 😂😂 that made me laugh
Thank you very helpful.
Thank you Kati for let me know all about DBT throw all of your videos. I was badly needed it . Thank you so............ much ! One more thing , I like your gesture too .
I love your DBT videos, I have the workbook. Me & my husband are both working it, using separate journals. It's not easy, like the very first three questions. Thank you for being out there, I need guidance. No luck with a therapist in my po-dunk town, but maybe it isn't them. I should try again, it's been about 10 years.
thank you
I really like the 3rd technique! I love going to the park that’s down the street from me but most of the time when I get there I become so overwhelmed I have a hard time relaxing and being in the moment.. So this is the perfect tool, I can’t wait to try it out! Thank you Katie 🫶🏻
Yes!!! One of my favorite things to do is people watching story time.
Thank your for your suggestions. I use my happy planner to put my reminders about technics I have learned from DBT. Wish I could send you a picture of it.
Great video! More DBT please
About to buy this book.
Happy new year ***** !! Are you starting FAQ again ?
Xoxox
I love your videos!
I really like the way you present the topic. I would like to actually see a real DBT session.
❤❤❤ Thank you so much, Kati!! Aaand you're sooo beautiful! 🧋♥️
This is what I need
omg, this never occurred to me. thanks.
Thank you, Kati
You are so welcome!
My therapist made a 'relax' tape for me.. I use to put on when I was feeling the urge to 'cut' or self harm... I couldn't do the rubber band or ice cube.
Also I had a few people who knew what signs to look for and they would call me out and that always made me feel guilty so that helped me cut less.
Also getting rid of all my needles, razors, cutting tools...
Your list was amazing and helpful too!
thank u
It was helpful keep uploading ❤
Thank you, I will
Amazing!
All my distractions are in my phone. Damn it! Battery is at 5% ...
You swore
I am not being pessimistic here, but in regard to your techniques and suggestions, majority (I haven’t tried all of them) wouldn’t be effective enough for me. When I get an “insecurity flare-up”, I literally cannot concentrate what I’m doing; I can’t even concentrate on the conversations I’m having with people. The profound adrenaline rush throughout my body and in my gut accompanied with a rapid heart rate. The only thing that helps is “witnessing” in a non-judgmental way. That only lasts periodically, but I am grateful to have them moments. Meditation has been an awakening experience for me.
This came at a great time seeing as I was diagnosed with BPD today (along with PTSD) and told I will wait over a year for any therapy for it as NHS in UK is useless. So I guess I have to get help myself online? Thanks for all u do you are a real help to ppl like myself xx
I know how you feel, I've been waiting nearly 3 years for psychotherapy and DBT
NHS mental health support is a joke
I will be getting diagnosed for my mental health on the 16th of october 2019 and its strange cos I only waited 2 years to get onto the DBT course I mean I know its a long time to wait but I start my first very session on the 22nd of October 2019 and im really scared to go.
Hi stranger, I have BPD and I too have to help myself online because therapy isn't accessible and I found
the "Dr. Daniel Fox" youtube channel helped me the most understand myself and what's going on in my head and how to regulate myself. BPD is no joke so I'm sharing this info just in case it might help someone else too.
Interesting. I have that book. It was recommended to read because it is a easy book to understand about DBT. I spend the whole weekend reading the book. Well Alexia read it to me. I followed along. And hearing it from you made it clear. Thank you.
"I have to wash my hair again" haha I love it! You're so funny! Xx
Cleaning does work! Scrubbing the bath walls included boy does that work.
You keep showing up in every search I do over the last year. I think I will just Subscribe takes less work I can just search your videos now. :)
Great Video.
Please do more DBT videos. Im doing DBT and on a waiting list for the DBT group skills. In my country the age limit for DBT was just dropped so Im able to get into a group now and Im really nervous and would like to know a bit about it before I start.
I love this :)
this was helpful. i'd judged distractions as bandaids, and that the (bad, intollerable) feelings I'm feeling need to be felt or i am deserving of or serve some purpose... but that's not necessarily true! I'm going to try some healthy distractions
Hey Kati I found a super distraction that works a lot; watching RUclips
I love this video I love you you are great I love the passion you have I'm like you 😘❤️
This was incredibly helpful. I need to find out more about DBT. Like everyone, I have my challenges, but overall I have a beautiful life. My husband is loving and caring, and the relationship with our children, their husbands and our grandson is close. Even my in-laws rock! lol The problem is with my family. They are always at war. And my being very sensitive, gets me hurt easily and often. Avoiding them isn't always possible, so maybe DBT will teach me ways of coping.
As i got better, destructive behavior stopped and my new way to, 'release pressure' is self body piercing. Discussed it with my therapist and, she agrees that it is a good replacement. And the final result is a shiny new body jewelry instead of nasty scar.
Thank you Kati. :)
With two BPDers I am involved with I found soothing stuff helps..electric blankets to comfort and super large teddy bears. BPDers love inanimate objects of confort.. a "safe" form of comfort...
I have found DBT to be very useful for life skills in general
What a great tool.
Please make more DBT videos!!! There aren't many videos/ like this
Glad I found this. Dbt where I’m from is $150 a week and I can’t afford that😩
Saw you in Caleb's video and just now found out you deal with DBT! i don't have any friends or a boyfriend. This just makes my loneliness go crazy.
I’m not seeing a amazon widget(but I’m also on my phone)
Can anyone else find the link to the workbook mentioned?
Hi Kati Morton, thank you for your videos, they are very helpful!
I don't know how to give topic suggestions, do you have anywhere else than the comment section for them?
Really great and helpful video! I have one question though, where do you draw the line between self-harm behaviours and safe alternatives? As I have understood it from earlier videos, anything you do to yourself deliberately that causes pain in order to release anxiety etc counts as self harm, even things that might not leave many marks. Wouldn't digging your nails into your skin and things like that then also count as self-harm, or why is it not seen as such? Just a bit confused about this! Thank you, as always
Badass Therapist
@katimorton Thank you for these amazing videos. Super helpful for me as i feel this fits with my client base at the moment. I've tried looking for your DBT worksheet on your website but cannot find it :(.
I just wanna say that you're a really delightful person, and watching your video has distracted me by itself.
I find myself only being able to Exist by Distraction or vacation but it feels like I'm moving to the vacation handling the problem or recognizing it even is detrimental to me my BPD diagnosis I was grateful for as I had an answer to my feelings is a very difficult thing and I hope you all are doing well
Your video offers useful examples of distraction and needs to clarify the difference between distracting as a skill and avoidance as a problem behavior. Furthermore, it is important to reiterate to those new to DBT that the goal is not to eliminate suffering, which is an unavoidable fact of life, but to learn how to live in spite of suffering. Would you agree?
+DBT Peer Connections Your video offers useful examples of distraction and needs to clarify the difference between distracting as a skill and avoidance as a problem behavior. Furthermore, it is important to reiterate to those new to DBT that the goal is not to eliminate suffering, which is an unavoidable fact of life, but to learn how to live in spite of suffering. Would you agree?
I'm not Kati obviously, nonetheless your question reverberates with this former DBT patient of over 2 and a half years who still uses many of the tricks taught therein, yet has walked away(eventually ejected for becoming an emotionally hostile, non compliant client, more precisely)with a fair amount of skepticism. Distraction provides a perfect illustration: most reasonably intelligent folks recognize the benefit of this very tactic already, however unconscious their recognition and inconsistent their practice(very few are likely to have a written list of alternatives to SH on hand, prior to a DBT providing such a thing, for example) might be. Recall the instances in which you found yourself, even before DBT, experiencing discomfort and deliberately choosing to engage in a separate activity so as not to stew in your own misery. While I can't speak for every DBT group on the planet, it's been my observation that distraction, along with much of everything else that masquerades as "treatment" in this particular modality, is adequate for short term management of symptoms and not remotely useful, effective, or relevant for rectifying those more insidious ailments that underlie most compulsions. Flip through Lance Dodes's The Heart of Addiction and, to a lesser extent, Trimpsey's Rational Recovery for further elaboration.
+DBT Peer Connections In fairness, it's come to my attention that Lineman and the high priesthood of DBT in their own practice divide treatment into 2-4 stages,(there seems to be some dissent within the ranks on this topic) the second of which begins after the first six months and incorporates the rest of the CBT family (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Cognitive Processing Therapy, etc.)into the framework. Not sure how your outfit operates, Peer(presume you're a professional practitioner, based upon your screen name), nonetheless it's been my observation, based on not only on personal experience but also accounts from fellow travelers who've been through this particular treatment elsewhere and literature from self-professed adherents, that more often than not, the therapy is being provided in a piecemeal fashion that never really moves past stage 1(DBT alone)yet drags on past the recommended two years.
You are wonderful !
On the having sex part, are there any rules for that? You should only do it when you are married and to have children ? Does sexual life affects in any way emotions ?
I like to organize too, Kati..... it's a constant battle though with my kids who like to create havoc in their wake. I swear, not ten minutes they are home from school and it looks like a tornado hit my house! Eh, such is life!
I HAVE THAT BOOK
is DBT helpful fro OCD? Im feeling so confused with how to recover.
Hi Katoe
I can not find the workbook for Dbt?
Thanks heaps
I teach DBT skills for a large agency which we call els since we don't have the resources for full model where I am at. We have had full model off and on, but as soon as one option like phone coaching is no longer feasible because we lose too many team members and they are hard to replce.
Kati, you are a life saver. Thank you for these videos. I just put on this video a few mins ago after a tough argument with someone who was being insensitive to my emotional reactions (Autonomic Dysfunction, BPD-like symptoms, ESFP personality type, hx of undiagnosed family illness). I work constantly on improving my emotional regulation skills and of course I’m going to be sensitive to any sort of snarky, dismissive micro emotions I believe I’m seeing.
So.. It’s tough, and your DBT videos have honestly helped me grow so much over the past couple of weeks.
“Sometimes pain can’t be avoided... but many times suffering can”. That quote alone... there are just no words to appropriately describe the empowerment and hope I experienced when I took in its true meaning. Thank you!
(PS I totally just used expressing my gratitude to you in this comment as a distraction technique from my spiral of self-harm in the form of self-sabotage. Dope. )
I try and keep a book at hand while I am out in the public.
where i can get this book?
Can we still get the dbt workbook?