hey katie! i have a question for you. i’ve been diagnosed with adhd and depression (which is not a good combo) my adhd seems to make my depression worse because once i start to feel sad, it’s all i can think about and my mind starts going crazy with bad thoughts. is this normal? how can i calm myself down during these episodes? #katifaq
I'm only 15 seconds in and I thought "Wow, Kati looks amazing. She looks so happy and bright. Did she get a haircut?" Whatever it is, I hope you're feeling well.
My BPD developed from having a covert narcissistic parent, one cause you missed was emotional abuse. And there are direct links. Would love to see a video done on this aspect of how having a narc parent/parents can cause BPD
This defiantly is true! I believe my BPD was developed due to growing up with a narcissist father. Emotional abuse was a huge factor to my BPD. I also have a grandmother with BPD that has always let it go untreated so hers was very severe while my mother was growing up. So I believe for me it was a mixture or genes and emotional abuse
I have heard other psychologists and psychiatrists say that it is hard to find someone willing to treat a patient with BPD because it's complicated and hard to treat, so hearing you say that there is real hope in recovery is so awesome!
Not everyone "recovers". Diagnosed at 16, still struggling at 55. Wasn't told I had BPD for 9 years. I've noticed that videos on BPD attract a lot of comments like "that sounds like me" " I think I have BPD I'm going to ask my DR/therapist". Believe me, it's not a disorder to aspire to. The stigma is massive so I don't tell anyone my diagnosis. As for the new description, "Emotionally Unstable personality disorder", it's horrific. We need a new name for such a complex condition . People have suggested "Emotion Regulation Disorder". BPD is far more problematic than your average personality disorder. It is a serious mental illness.
😢 I agree I dated someone with BPD for 3 years 6 months. He’s 40 years old. He wants a wife/ a live in girlfriend so bad but he gets way too upset over minor things. I just pray he gets the help he needs to maintain a long term romantic relationship.
Bpd can also be caused by abusive relationships. It doesn't necessarily have to be abuse from childhood. I have bpd from a culmination of neglect, bullying and abusive relationships. I am currently in recovery. Thankyou for not demonizing us 💖💖💖
I think is how I developed mine too I've dealt with neglect, kidnapping and tons of abuse. I don't think people realize where these disorders truly stem from.
Thank for sharing and mentioning causes other than neglectful or abusive parenting. So many of these videos on BPD claim that there is ONLY ONE cause...”you must have had a narcissistic parent or parents. Many parents of BPD sufferers are getting a very unfair rap. My daughter was diagnosed with BPD in 2012. My husband died tragically before she was born, so I raised her by myself. I always treasured her as a gift from God, since after many fertility treatments, including multiple surgeries, I was told that we probably wouldn’t have children. I learned that I was pregnant just 1 month before my husband died. So I treasured this little girl who came into my life. She was everything that I ever wanted... to be a Mom and have a family. All indications were that we had a very close relationship until she left for college. We hardly ever even said a cross word to each other. I used to brag to friends and family about how lucky I was to have such a well-behaved child. She never gave me any problems or trouble even in her teenage years (although I do recall some doozie temper tantrums when she was going through the “terrible 2’s.” I had to physically hug/hold her to keep her from hurting herself!) But nothing after that until she left for college. She chose to go to a top-rated, big-name college that was actually in our hometown, so she was only 15-20 mins away. But she seemed to fall apart once she was there. My first indicator was when I was contacted by my cousin to go to the local ER because my daughter was there and was saying that she felt suicidal! Shortly after, she was diagnosed with BPD, which even as a healthcare professional, I had never heard of. I immediately started researching it. I’ve spoken to several counselors/therapists, all of whom told me that BPD was NOT always caused by abusive/neglectful parenting; that there were other causes as well, including a genetic component. These same therapists also mentioned that this “abusive parenting as the sole cause” was an outdated theory. They compared it to the days of when initially doctors/psychiatrists used to blame things like ADHD and autism on “bad parenting.” And they reminded me of how back in the 80s and 90s MANY behavioral issues in children were blamed on “the latch-key child effect,” when mothers started entering the workforce in large numbers out of economic necessity. It was a very misogynistic accusation against mothers...a backlash, if you will for their having the audacity to enter the workforce. As someone who has been researching the phenomenon of brain injury from vaccines for the last 8 years, I’ve also read the stories of mothers and parents who were initially blamed for their child’s injury, only to later discover that they were brain-injured by a vaccine. So our allopathic medical system and our system of psychiatric care have a well documented history of first blaming parents for that which they don’t fully yet understand. Also, I’ve seen male doctors treat women with real physical symptoms as if they were “hysterics” simply because the Dr didn’t know/understand the underlying cause. My own mother was treated this way by an OB/GYN who wanted to prescribe Valium for what turned out to be a severe case of endometriosis that required a hysterectomy. He apologized to her after the surgery. So anyway, I just wanted to point out this well documented history of our medical system of blaming and shaming parents or even patients themselves for issues that are not fully understood. In the case of my daughter and myself, sadly she has connected with a therapist who subscribes to the theory that “you MUST have had an abusive/narcissistic parent. That is the ONLY cause of BPD.” So now my daughter has been convinced that she needs to sever all contact with me, which saddens me greatly. She’s also been doing some triangulating with other family members, so has damaged my reputation with them. I’ve also witnessed the “splitting” behavior...in which she believes that a person is “all good, or all bad.” For the last 9 months she has believed that I am “all bad.” It’s frustrating and heartbreaking, but I am giving her the “space” that she says that she needs to heal. I hope that one day she might find a therapist that recognizes the MULTIPLE causes of BPD, and I hope that one day she’ll remember the close and very good relationship that we once had. Until then, all I can do is try and be supportive from a distance. But THANK YOU so much for acknowledging that there are indeed multiple causes and that “abusive parenting” is not always a given in BPD. The “abusive parenting” label is one that cause a lot of emotional damage when it is applied inappropriately. It also can sometimes inhibit parents from reaching out to find help/seek answers if they’re afraid that they will be slapped with this label. I know that it made me question my reality for a period of time before I was finally told that it’s not ALWAYS the cause or the case.
When I was a teenager, you name it. Almost every person I had a interaction with put me down/ bullied me, I wouldn't say I was abused but every friend, teacher and even my parents never had nice things to say to me or about me (as a teenager I didn't do anything wrong. Good grades, good behaviour , didn't do drugs, didn't act out at all) I was never sexually abused, I was never even physically abused but being bullied for a decent amount of time really makes you think, "what's wrong with me" now I'm 21 and I don't tolerate anyone putting me down or even belittling me, because I never stood up for myself as a kid and now I'm in extra defense mode at all times. It might come across as NPD traits but I'm not delusional, I don't see myself as better than anyone but if you want to say bad things about me it better be true or else I will fight about it. And that's pretty much how I got the BPD diagnosis, because I split on a daily basis, i meet new people and as soon as they come off as bitchy or assholish in nature I don't interact with that person ever again, even going so far as to curving my daily routine to avoid them, if they talk to me i will purposely make it clear that I have no interest which makes me look like a prick. I don't need to explain to people why I won't talk to them they should be aware and figure it out themselves. Also the extreme mood swings I have when I come into conflict, which can always be avoided by not saying anything but I always stand my ground and make it worst for myself and others. Reckless behaviours like having a eating disorder, because people can't hate you for no reason if you look good and doing drugs because it's draining being in a bad mood constantly. I have plenty of close friends who understand where I'm coming from and I love them but every boyfriend I've had has been chaotic, not because they're abusive but they take advantage of how giving and nice I am and eventually I have to cut it all off or else I do become abusive. My first boyfriend I ever had, I gave him PTSD because when I cut everything off he tried to chat up one of my friends friends, and I rocked up to his house drunk and beat him up. Purely just the lack of common respect made me go off the rails. Things I've learnt from BPD, not everyone is a good person, even if they are. Not everyone is a bad person even if they are and if someone targets you it's because you have something they don't have and they're jealous/ they're a energy vampire. Took me so long to learn that but the things I struggle with the most would be having to interact with shitty people, you don't even have to be a bad person, you just have to show me within a few conversations that you're willing to drag other people's name and be a idiot and I will instantly hate you. BPD is a rollercoaster
I can NOT tell you how affirming it is to hear you say "those of us" when addressing focus audiences and populations. It normalizes and helps your viewers to feel seen and accepted. You're awesome, Kati.
@@Katimorton I remember watching your video on bdp 7 years ago, I was just rediagnosed with BPD and I instantly knew what it was. thank you the gift of knowledge and acceptance :)
It's also caused from not being validated as a child I would tell my mother " I have to go to the bathroom" she would say " no u don't , u just went. That's just an example. I remember telling her that I had a bad headache and could she please turn down the TV. I was just a little girl. She said " don't b so selfish" ......well, thats crazy making.
Had 2 sadists for parents Was strong enough not to succumb Developed nothing but extremely tough skin and strong confidence Dated 2 BPDs for a very short time; nightmares
@@lockandloadlikehell Hhmmnn ... with a handle like "lockandloadlikehell" you're still gonna assert that you "developed nothing"? Perhaps you're telling us more than you realize.
It's a child's brain in development that gets damaged through the years. So a very natural process. About 75 percent of the human population deal with trauma, but a smaller part will confront and seek help to process this pain.
Agreed!! I love how she always says things like "..affects us" "can hurt us" like she is a part of the group too. Its nice when people show you that you're not alone in a very real way.
Yes not they or you but ‘we’. ‘We’ feels more like ‘ your human to ’ and not like weirdos like ‘you’ or ‘them’ can feel like. ‘We’ feels more like youre a part of the society to
@@Craig121000 It seems you have some unresolved issues, but projecting your negative opinions and demonizimg those of us with BPD, most of whom are extremely trustworthy, is not going to help you get over your ex. Maybe you should try therapy to help you.
@@Craig121000 Get help John, you can heal if you'll only accept professional help. Therapy isn't so scary. 😊 You can learn to let go of all the hatred you carry. Really, you'll be much happier. 😀😉
Thank you for speaking about BPD in such a kind way. I have literally seen videos of 'professionals' saying how hard people with this disorder are to be around and how they have no empathy. I am very glad you talk about it in a way that promotes healing.
it's hard to feel empathetic in the moment when we're in flight or fight mode (do boxers care about their opponents feeling pain in the fight?), but we sure as hell feel the remorse afterwards
@@TheFubz I'm sorry but doing harm then feeling remorse afterwards then doing the same harm again is really toxic to the ones around. It feels like a vicious cycle of being mistreated then acting like an apology is enough. I have experienced severe trauma but I hold myself accountable or separate myself when im not okay. I think thats a huge issue with the BPDs I surrounded myself with. Everything turns into catering to their every mood swing as if they are children without self control. Why is it that the BPD needs turn more important than others needs? Why is it that others have to suffer because of your lack of awareness and actually damaging others mental health more? Everyone experiences fight or flight, specially extreme one from trauma. It is not an excuse.
@@Lauracupcake1121 i mean, once you get diagnosed with it you are required to be accountable despite of being ill but I'd give somebody a pass on things done in the past only once if they were never diagnosed before
@@Lauracupcake1121 this is extremely unhelpful and the reason BPD sufferers have such a hard time finding help and support. You’re just saying the same thing everyone else does without considering everything going on.
Danyella Bear after two years I can say I am not the same person that I was and my symptoms have disappeared almost completely. Hard work though and therapy every week. I can see myself in years ahead being just simply healthy and whole looking back to the person I used to be plagued by bpd but no longer identifying to it💕
@@trinitydelciampo5616 no, but I work on figuring out what’s actually upsetting me and then solving that problem. Right now my stress is bad... as far as BPD symptoms... I tried to kill myself a couple times in 2020. Half heartedly. Otherwise it’d be done. But I think in some ways it has gotten better. My understanding and my internal conversation has been way more positive and open. I understand myself more. A part of my BPD is dissociation so I understand I locked away parts of myself I can only fix with guided therapy. I need to get financially stable then I can look into DBT. Or online therapy. Yeah
I have BPD. I seriously need help with distress tolerance. I can go from calm and regulated thoughts to “I hate you, I’m pissed off” in less than a second. And I don’t know why, or how to stop.
Amy Holley hope you're doing better. i too struggle with this. even on my best days, ONE thing can ruin all of it. i usually de-stress with one of my pets or just being alone. sometimes being alone is the only way i can keep it together. anywho, hope you find some answers 💜
What helps me when I'm splitting is to keep reminding myself something positive about the person I'm devaluing. I just keep repeating it to myself. Also pulling yourself away from the situation to calm down helps as well. Calming down usually helps a lot with rationalizing between feelings and BPD feelings. One thing that has also helped me is when it's hard to pull back the people in my life are told beforehand if I started splitting to pull back as well. This way it also kinda forces you to pull back and calm down for a bit before trying to have a more relaxed conversation about why you or the other person is upset.
Sammy-Marie Grimm between your videos and Kati’s, it’s definitely helped. I was officially diagnosed last week, but I had started to suspect I had BPD around a year ago. Talking about having BPD with those closest to me has been one of the more helpful things I could have done, despite how difficult it is when you’re still trying to understand it all. So thank you for sharing and being so open.
As someone who is borderline, I just want to say that I love this video! You’re voice is so soothing and I love your vibe. Thank you so much for helping others understand what it is like for people with BPD 💖
Fred Garvin Reading self help books by mental health professionals helps me absorb the information straight to my core rather than having a face to face in office visit with them.
I haven’t been diagnosed with BPD, but in describing it I started to cry because it sounded a bit like me. Thank you for this, Kati. It’s very helpful and hopeful.
Thank you for supporting your friend. Support is very important for us since we often don’t get it. My old friends never supported me, your friend is lucky to have such a good friend ♥️
She's a lucky girl to have a friend like you in her life. I don't think anyone but my mother has ever cared about me enough to actually try to learn about BPD and how debilitating it can be.
Hailey Railey I’m so sorry you haven’t been supported! I have my own mental health issues so maybe that’s why I care so much to learn what she’s going through. I know what it’s like to not have people understand so I try my best.
Ashley Elder I’m so sorry you don’t have much support. I know people don’t always understand mental health issues. I have my own as well, so maybe that’s why I try to understand her more. Maybe it’s harder for those who don’t have any issues to understand.
I was never diagnosed but I promise you in my 20s I had BPD. I worked very hard to get out of that cycle. I’m 35 today and I no longer fit the BPD criteria. Mental health will always need to be addressed in my life; it’s usually at the forefront of my day with my self care needs. Having said that, you can recover from BPD, never give up. You are worth it!
Me too almost! I control it so well even though I got lotsa therapists they just scratch their heads and call me bipolar a buncha times (I'm also 35 undiagnosed) but only reason this suboxone program im succeeding at (used to be drug addict) still doesn't quite beleive I'm clean yet and it's complicated but the fear of losing the program is only thing making me have symptoms cuz like...I don't wanna get kicked off and go back to shooting smack...but I don't trust these people enough to risk that diagnosis for a therapist and doctor who are hecka annoyed with me, anyways, how did u get over it on ur own? It doesn't even effect my current relationship at all but I do kinda fear dying on the street enough to hit up a random stranger for a way out so...hoe u get this. Would love ur advice. Thx take care
I like how Kati says "we" or "us" when describing disorders even though she does not personally experience them. It does a great job of helping people not to feel alone
I'm glad I found answers, but I can't help but feel down. I've destroyed so many awesome relationships in my life and was completely unaware that I was the problem. I honestly didn't mean to hurt anyone at all. I just feel such a deep pain when it comes to so many things. I can easily spiral into a immensely deep depression and escalate really quickly. I always knew this would happen but I guess to me it became normal. Spiraling downward is the worst pain for someone like me, I would never wish it on anyone. I will feel so hopeless and worthless when it happens and it leads me to making irrational decisions. My anxiety is always so high everyday. We love really hard as people but the fear of abandonment makes us do stuff that result in the opposite outcome. I never understood this until now. In my head I was doing the things I needed to keep people in my life but the opposite would happen. I wish I never hurt anyone and I wish I wasnt made like this.
There are always two sides of a choin dear. If those people were meant for you they would have stayed. Or at least asked why you are reacting this way or pointing out your specific mistakes so you could improve and do better. Cause it's an easy fact that you can't improve If you don't know your mistakes. So if they don't they either didnt care at all or were to corwardly to do it. The first type of people you just don't need. And about the second, ask yourself: if they don't have the courage to tell you the honest truth in a proper way, and just simply putting all the blame on you, are they really in any way better then you? My answer: No. Cause instead of introspect and selfreflecting themself, most people just like to put the blame on others cause it's easier then accepting ones own faults and defizits. Thats not only a fault of yours or people with mental health problems. Everyone does this. So stop Putting all the blame on you for losing them. And just try to do better.
I agree. On paper though DBT looks fucking dumb but after going to a DBT group for 6 months it became more of a subconscious thing I use as it was drilled in my brain.
for anyone worried about getting through (or mainly just dealing with BPD), my therapist said I most likely had BPD so we worked every week on understanding why/how I saw so many things in black and white formats, why my anger levels and impulsivity were all over the place, and other things related to my life-history. I can confidently say today that I can see the gray (middle ground) in almost every situation in my life, my anger and depression have subsided, and I am simply a lot better. I really recommend everyone find a good therapist to talk to..one you can truly trust. I don't think I'd be where I am today without having gone to therapy. I put in a lot of effort to stay calm and grounded. Sometimes just realizing how you're thinking can help you change it or adapt to what your brain might just naturally do. Also, you're not alone!! You got this
Kati saves my life everyday. This video is so, so relieving as a person with BPD. I’ve never heard about the ten-year possibility of recovery thing. Thanks for giving us hope and guiding people Kati.
Literally got diagnosed with this on Saturday after being wrongly diagnosed with bipolar for a long time. This video was insanely helpful thankyou Kati xx
Same! I was wrongly diagnosed with bipolar and today I had my first session with a new psychiatrist and she said that I have borderline personality disorder and not just bipolar. God! The relief was so much! For the past 7 years I have been trying to solve my problems using solutions for bipolar. No wonder they didn't work. I dedicated myself to this process that I took a degree in psychology and then I majored in guidance and counselling so that I could help myself and others around me with mental health issues. Let's all work together and beat the shit out of BPD!
what u said about people with bpd being changed over the course of ten years made me cry because it helps me know i'm not hopeless, and that i can change.
I should have shared this a comment and not a reply so , sorry for singling you out Michelle, I just don't want you or anyone else with BPD to suffer , all therapy is not good therapy, and I've been seeking help for decades. Sometimes there just is no hope. You just learn to live with it.
My ex had BPD (although she denies it) and it was really hard to be with her, even though I really wanted to. It wasn't until after I broke up with her that it came out that she had it and I felt horrible. I abandoned her like she feared, even though the reason I left was because she was very much pushing me away/giving me major mixed signals and it was causing me great anxiety and stress. I then tried being just friends with her after confessing that I loved her but I had a hard time establishing boundaries because I just wanted to take care of her and make her happy, and she took advantage of it. Now I know, after a lot of research into the mental illness, that just made her not want me even more because she didn't feel like she deserved me being kind to her. I want others to know that people with BPD do deserve to be happy. It's hard for them to realize that and people think they're "evil" but they need support and they themselves need to seek counseling. However, it's also important for you to take care of yourself and set boundaries so you don't get emotionally hurt in the process, like me. I'm now going to therapy for my issues after the relationship, and I actually see a therapist that specializes in DBT and it's amazing. I'm feeling more myself everyday.
Aniroc192 wow, this is what is exactly what i experience in my relationship. And I’m so lucky my fiancé tries to understand. Kudos to you for educating yourself on mental health. It’s really important to have allies that try to make sense of it especially when we can’t make any sense of it ourselves through our struggles.
@@cvb4117 If I had known in the beginning, I would have been more understanding of the pulling in and pushing away. I couldn't read her and it made me literally go crazy. I look back on the relationship now and see that it was very toxic for me. I'm codependent so I also have work that I need to do. I still really care about her but she has moved onto someone else already. It's difficult to accept for me but...what can you do? Good luck with you and your relationship. Good to know that you were able to accept your diagnosis so that your partner has a better understanding of you. Be patient with one another and know that if he knows what I know and he is willing to stay, that he DOES care about you, no matter what the voice in your head is saying. Just breathe. You're not crazy,
As someone with BPD, do not feel obligated to continue a relationship that is toxic to you. I feel like I have been pretty toxic in relationships through out my life time esp before I was diagnosed and couldn't explain my outbursts or learn how to rationalize around them since I didn't know the stem issue. While it may not be someone's fault they are acting a certain way, it is not anyways job to cater to that and feel guilted into being with them. If you didn't feel happy in the relationship before you knew she had it, then it shouldn't make a difference after knowing the fact. I am blessed to currently have a bf who has found a way to help calm me down when I'm splitting so we can both relax and talk about the issue we are having in a more logical way. I also feel the loving vibes from you for doing your research and not blaming her for her issues and getting help for the damage the relationship caused for yourself.
you explain things in such a way that feels like we are listening to a friend vs a therapist. Your patients are very fortunate to have you to work with
Loved this so much, i have BPD and it is so misunderstood by people around me. A lot of people think you have to have had a shitty/abusive upbringing in order to have BPD and that is not the case for me so i always felt like i had to defend my parents, so its nice to hear someone with a public platform informing people of this! I went to an intense DBT program for a year of my life and therapists have complimented/"praised" how well I reacted to the information and use it in my everyday life. I think a lot of it is being mindful of the changes that happen so quickly in my brain and slowing them down or rationalizing/validating myself instead of "needing" others to do it for me. Im not a victim im an everyday survivor of my own thoughts and i kick BPD's ass!
One thing I've noticed that is devastating when healing my BPD: smartphone addiction. Not necessarily YT and Netflix, but internet and social media. Really harmful for the prefrontal cortex, or maybe even for the whole brain.
I was lucky enough to have been sponsored by the local university to receive DBT by trained doctors. It changed my entire view on life. Now years on, sure I have a bad day here or there, but knowing I have the tools to overcome any challenges, I know now I have a exciting future ahead. Thank you for talking about this topic :)
Wow this is awesome. My big sister has just been diagnosed with BPD, and since I was diagnosed with clinical depression when i was 14, i want to be able to be there for her since i know how it feels to have stigma attached to your emotional wellbeing and mental health. This was really helpful. Thanks Kati. 😊 Also, you look really prettyyyyyy... WE STAN
I have BPD and have been in recovery for ten years now. BPD does have a bad reputation, my college professor even called it a "therapists nightmare" (he didnt know I have BPD). Sharing my story, being open and honest about it, has reduced the stigma about the "bad rep." Of course not everyone is understanding or open minded - and thats ok because thats on their character, not my BPD. you rawk Kati!
kati is literally the reason i reached out for help in the first place and i’m seeing a psychiatrist in a few weeks, finally getting the help i’ve needed for so long thanks to these videos. thank you :’)
Your videos have really helped me come to terms with my diagnoses; bpd was especially uncomfortable to accept for the reasons you've talked about before despite the fact that it definitely "fits". I really appreciate your compassion, understanding and confidence that people with bpd, and other mental illnesses can actually feel better and have satisfying lives.
This video is great for explaining. My therapist thinks my bpd has something to do with childhood trauma and sexual abuse early on in my life.. I was misdiagnosed as bipolar for a while until I started getting intensive care. Highly recommend getting help for anyone going through this. 😿💔❤️❤️
Omg yes, I was misdiagnosed as that too. Raised by a narcissistic mother, lots of emotional abuse. I don't know wtf is wrong with me but I mentally can't get help. I need it, I suffer sooooo much. Loose every job, zero relationships of any kind.... but I can't get help. Am I scared...I don't know.
I really hope you get to read this, because I want to thank you. I wish I could fit my life story into this comment but I want to get to the point. In August of last year me and my mom got into a huge argument. I was belittled for most of my childhood, so this was one of the very few times I stood up for myself, and it was intense. I was never disrespectful, but because I had never stood up to my mom I felt so guilty. I used to think my mom was bipolar because she way very hot and cold. Some days she would tell me I was her world, other days she would tear me to shreds with snippy, subliminal, passive aggressive comments. I left my house on August 5th and I was hopping around from friend house to friend house. All while I was a full time student and part time working. I was at the lowest point in my life and I contemplated suicide nearly every day. I convinced myself that my little sister would understand why I did it, and my boyfriend would eventually get over it. Every day was a gamble for me. I felt so helpless. Eventually I gathered some courage and made an appointment to see the school therapist at my college. I almost walked out when I heard her call my name--I felt weak for seeking help. But I stayed. and I went to her a total of 3 times, because that is the amount of times I'm allowed at school before they start charging for each session. It helped me a lot. I found out my mom wasn't bipolar, but she has BPD. And coincidentally around the same time you started to post more and more about BPD, and you helped me connect so many dots and helped me understand so much. Today you posted a video on what casues BPD, and when you said that of I had a first degree relative who had BPD, I was 10 times more prone to having it too, I cried. Because I feel like I'm just like my mom, and for years I've tried convincing myself otherwise, but I'm 99% sure I have BPD as well. But as the video went on and you explained that it is curable, you've given me hope. I didn't want to have kids because I've been afraid that I would ruin my kids with my mental health being absolute garbage, but you've given me hope. My boyfriend is amazing, and has been helping me with my roller coaster of emotions even before we started dating but he still doesn't fully understand what goes through my head, so he just comforts me with love and although I am grateful for it, it's nice to have you be so encouraging and understanding. Putting explanations to all my insane thoughts that turn out aren't so crazy. Thank you so much for existing, thanks to you I can see the light at the end of this tunnel I've been wandering in for years. I recently got a new job where I am a dental assistant and I just became full time this month. I hope to be able to move out with my boyfriend in 2 months and continue to work on my mental health. If you could keep the BPD videos coming I would greatly appreciate it, although I'm not sure what more you could say. Thank you so much Kati. You have saved my life.
The last two years of my journey discovering I have been struggling with BPD my entire life has lead to me writing 40 songs I need to share with the world ASAP
I was diagnosed with BPD several years ago. I wasn't convinced but I decided to join a DBT group. I learned so much from that training! I think every school in the world should incorporate this into its curriculum. Its more useful than anything other than reading and basic math. I participated in that group for about 2 years and my current therapist sees no sign of BPD in me!
Hi! I developed BPD due to my service in the the Army at 18 in the Gulf in 1990. I developed PTSD by the threat of chemical warfare and the death and body parts I handled as a Lab Tech. My so glad i finally got properly diagnosed along with Anxiety and depression!!
Kati, I'm so glad you made a video about this again. BPD is like the dark side of my personality and it makes me suffer alot. And it was very comforting when you said that research has shown that BPD can be healed. It's the first time I hear this about a mental illness.
I LOVE your videos on BPD!! I used to be terrified of BPD because I thought my (ex) mother-in-laws had it and she is so manipulative (turns out she’s a narcissist) I NEVER would have given a friendship with someone with BPD a chance if I hadn’t been educated by your content! And I would have missed out on some AMAZING friendships!! ❤️
Everything that she explained sounds like my issues. I’ve been called a drama queen my whole life because I could never control my emotions. My emotions are 10 times more intense than someone who doesn’t have BPD. So something so small can trigger me to have an episode or “temper tantrum”.
Love your new hair!!! 'Borderline' needs to be renamed (and no, the other name 'Emotionally unstable' is not good enough!!!). Was diagnosed 15 years ago, and soon learned not to tell anyone, the stigma is HUGE. You might as well tell people you are the devil, that's how others will react, which makes this disorder an even bigger every day, every hour challenge.
It’s so difficult when BPD is compounded with other mental illnesses as well as chronic physical illness. Unbelievably exhausting. I hope in another 10 years I’ll be better off than I am now. I can say though that I’m much more stable than I was 10 years ago. It takes a lot of hard work to get there.
@@Babeatrice Aww thank you. I am doing a lot better, actually! I'm in remission from BPD now thanks to mood stabilizers and dialectical behavioral therapy 💜
I was in therapy for two years and was diagnosed with BPD. For the past few months I have tried to stay in the DBT group sessions the VA has offered but find them not for me. At 70 years of age and a Viet Nam war vet I just don't see the use of trying to change as you have said, it can be done in ten years. I realistically do not have ten years so I will try to deal with what I have and what I have learned to finish out this life as best I can. Thanks for the videos as you have helped me understand my actions and reactions.
I really appreciate the way you deliver important information, there is a lot of negativity around BPD online so reading about it is usually very stressful and unpleasant but knowledge helps a lot so it’s a constant struggle. Thank you for the kindness and positivity, it helps understanding what I’m going through without judgement. Your videos are wonderfully thoughtful and caring. Thank you so much
Just wanted to stop by and let you know that this was the video that made me seek therapy and new medication and I’ve just now been able to feel genuine happiness for the first time in my 22 years of living. Thank you so much for making content like this. You have no idea how important it was to me.
Kati, you look stunning in this video. Fantastic content as always. I'm particularly amazed by the fact that the brain can overcome/heal from BPD. I'm interested in what other disorders this applies to. Best to you.
I was misdiagnosed as bi-polar and treated for it for years, nothing worked. Recently I was re-diagnosed with PTSD and BPD and since I've started treatment for both I am doing so much better. Receiving the diagnosis of BPD and PTSD was actually a huge relief. It brought better understanding from my family, as my intense emotions were always misread growing up. I've actually received a few apologies from some family members who feel they contributed to the instability of my childhood and I've been able to move past a lot of things. I'm looking forward to continuing my treatment and hopefully one day coming to a place where I have better understanding of myself and others.
First of: I really love this look on you, it definitely suits you :) Apart from that, I really love how you're so nice about BPD, most people I've met (including professionals) are often so demonising over BPD (and some even cptsd), it's seen as something bad and that you should be ashamed off and will never go away. You actually gave me hope that one day I won't struggle with bpd/cptsd anymore. Thank you for your awesome videos
First time I’ve ever really watched any of Kati’s videos...I’m so impressed with the support and love from everyone in the comments! It’s so uplifting to see a group of people coming together like this, especially on social media.
Thank you so much for the video. I've done extensive research into BPD and even went to school for psychology. Mental illness has always been put on the back burner to those who say "they can just change how they feel" that's like asking someone who doesn't have BPD to calm down when they feel their life is going down the drain and are freaking out about it. The emotions expressed or internalized can be the same in terms of how powerful they are, however with someone with BPD that is experienced much more often then those without and is why borderline personality disorder can be confused with bipolar disorder. The main difference between the two is one is a personality disorder and the other is a mood disorder. And don't forget that someone can actually have both, although rare and very hard to diagnose. Also remember that medication doesn't really help BPD. It takes roughly a month for phic meds to work (if even the right ones) and then after a month on you'll have to up your dosage and continue to up it month by month. What I've done as a sufferer of borderline and bipolar is to learn to be mindful of all that's around you. The biggest trick I've learned is that if something is out of your control and anything and everything you try doesn't help. there is no need to dwell on it, be mad, sad ect. You can't control it so best to let it go and see how things play out. Live in the moment bc those of us with BPD live each moment like its out last. I can go on and on but I think this might help some. Knowledge is power.. good luck to you all, and thank you for the great video!!
Katie you are an angel. Truly. You have no idea how important this is. All I have read and watched in videos is incredibly cruel and negative. Literally saying people with BPD are unlovable and toxic. Thank you so much for this. I wish I could hug you.
I have had BPD for eleven years. I am starting DBT and hope it will help. I love your video. You use the words “we” and you talk just like an average person not a doctor. It’s refreshing. Thank you
Thank you. I was trained that there was no treatment for BPD and the best you could do was to provide safety when they were in crisis and then discharge, but I'm glad there are treatments now.
I feel everything intensely, I avoid people bc everything they say will be used against them. I'm not verbal and can put on a fake smile, but I have feelings of hate towards certain people. I bottle things up, which is worse but I don't have anyone to talk to, then my brain explodes and I go into severe isolation. An ongoing struggle. I feel lonely, cold and lost. On the flip side, I love people so much too, but they eventually join the love-hate club. I'm exhausted; my body is proof, I have no desire to do things I once enjoyed. Life is passing me by. Nobody cares enough about others feelings
I have my second chapter of dbt today and I have had bpd since I was 12 (diagnosed at 35). I found that acceptance commitment therapy has help regulate me and learn to accept that some days I can't people well and to try and be kind to myself. Also I look at the positives of my illness. I may have strong emotions but that means I have the ability to love strongly. Which is great.
I’m someone with BPD who has worked REALLY REALLY hard for over 10 years and while I have a long journey to go, I’m currently living a lovely life. I’m married, studying successfully at university, and learning new skills and exploring the best ways to manage my mental health. I’m no where near where I want to be but for the first time in my life, I feel hopeful. I may still make mistakes but I’ve learned the power of hard work, forgiveness, and education. When I look back at my past self, it’s amazing how far I’ve come. I never thought I’d make it to where I am, and now I can’t wait to see where I end up.
This video is such an awesome crash course on BPD. Many people that I treat with BPD are very curious as to what caused it and my answer looks very similar to what you said. It’s a mix of nature and nurture, typically the gene is there (nature) and there is an activating event (nurture) like what you were describing trauma or incredibly stressful childhood, that brings the BPD out. Love how you said everything here!
Such an informative video. I got goosebumps when you said we can change our brains and recover from bpd. Thank you Kati. You have helped to change my brain already with such positive information and most importantly hope :)
I have schizoaffective disorder, but I’ve had a couple therapists suggest I do dbt for some reason. Kati, you are a godsend and I can tell you are passionate about what you do by the way your eyes light up. Thanks for creating this community. I now feel less alone.
CW: suicide I had to come back to this video because I just recently lost a friend to suicide. She's suffered from BPD for years and a lot of us guessed it would be how she'd go. I feel so guilty for not doing enough even though I know a lot of us did try.
BPD is the toughest of the personality disorders to treat. Do not blame yourself, you are not a trained professional. My daughter has BPD, but she has had DBT and is doing much better than she was five years ago. She got married this year to a nice young man. I worried for years that she would end up killing herself with her impulsive behavior. There is only so much you can do.
I am so sorry for your loss! It's common for people to feel guilty after a suicide. Mental illness can be hard and only the person with the illness can control what they chose to do. Sadly, there is only so much we can do.
This is the first channel i have found that I have heard that you can actually heal the brain and overcome bpd, this has literally brought tears to my eyes. I was incorrectly diagnosed and went through years of cbt which just never clicked until I was properly diagnosed and discovered dbt, I've only started but to have someone say something so hopeful, makes me happy to know that I can heal if I work hard.
I just bought your book. Thank you Kati Morton for helping those who can’t afford regular therapy get by. I know you encourage getting help all the time, but sometimes I can’t even afford help because I am suffering and so I can’t make money so I can’t afford help. It’s a viscous cycle. Thank you for just helping me feel less alone when I feel so alone so often. 💔
I have BPD and it’s hard loving someone due to thinking they might cheat, or leave. I haven’t told my bf about my past yet, and my suicidal thought, I’m scared that he will leave me. I didn’t know what BPD till now, you always make me feel better. I have BPD due to my childhood past, my parents always use to fight so that’s the reason why I have it.
This was so much more informative than my psychiatrist who diagnosed me with BPD after talking to me for only 15 minutes. Mental health services where I live are seriously lacking. I have no way to get treatment.
Hey I just saw this comment and thought I'd mention the Rewired Soul, he does mental health videos too and is also looking for people to caption, I just signed myself up to do English captions bc he's got deaf viewers, but I'm sure he'd love to have Finnish captions too if you're interested in doing them! Just thought I'd mention it since I saw you offer, and mental health videos specifically are such a big deal to me, gotta plug and show my support any way I can, bc Kati and Chris (rewired soul) have both helped me so much since I've found their channels, that's why I offered to do captions for his vids, lol, but Kati if you need English captions I'd be happy to help too, I only speak English though, unfortunately, so I can only do English lol
Thank you, Katie. I ' ve been diagnosed 3 years ago and ir was very hard because I suspected I had BPD but they wouldn' t treat me for it. Now, I have a doctor and a theraphist and I AM doing CBT( I can't afford dbt) and it is helping me.
I just wanted to say that I found your channel tonight and it's a tremendous help and comfort for me, as someone who survived extreme childhood abuse, has been long diagnosed with PTSD (they said it was complex but that wasn't officially recognized in the book yet) and only last year diagnosed with BPD. I'd never even really heard of it before and all the research I did on it was just horrifying. It makes you feel like some kind of monster to learn what the popular opinions are. I can no longer afford therapy and have been without it the majority of my life, have never been able to find someone specializing in trauma or DBT. It's mostly just been me working on becoming more aware of myself, my symptoms, and finding solutions through trial and error. A bit funny to have worked my own way beyond much of the more extreme reactivity issues before even finding the name for what was causing them. I'm going to search around to see if there are any free, public resources like online videos conducting DBT practices for those of us who can't afford therapy because it sounds insanely useful. Anyway, I wanted to say thank you for making your channel and putting out these super positive, supportive, inspirational videos. Even to see one professional looking at you and saying there's hope, that with continued work it can totally get better, well it means the world.
ditched netflix for this
hey katie! i have a question for you. i’ve been diagnosed with adhd and depression (which is not a good combo) my adhd seems to make my depression worse because once i start to feel sad, it’s all i can think about and my mind starts going crazy with bad thoughts. is this normal? how can i calm myself down during these episodes? #katifaq
What did Netflix do to you?
same
Literally same
Same, I have bpd and it’s getting me by till dbt
Does anyone else use these videos as a kinda therapy session in between session
Ohginger Snap yesssss! They help get me through the week. :)
Yess lol
Yes, and I've even used them on the verge of crisis to sorta help talk me down back into a rational mindset.
I'm still on a waiting list for therapy so this and my workbook is my therapy for now.
Ginger Snapped I do 🤣🤣
Thank you for saying "we"..nothing like feeling like a criminal to be ostracized.
Kati you look so young and fresh today!
Awe thanks!! I think it's my new face powder.. or maybe the vacation did some good! haha!! But I'll take it! xoxo
I'm only 15 seconds in and I thought "Wow, Kati looks amazing. She looks so happy and bright. Did she get a haircut?" Whatever it is, I hope you're feeling well.
I think it's because the sweater compliments her skin tone? Also her haircut
Maybe she has been working out.
I was like WOW but couldn't put my finger on it!
My BPD developed from having a covert narcissistic parent, one cause you missed was emotional abuse. And there are direct links. Would love to see a video done on this aspect of how having a narc parent/parents can cause BPD
This defiantly is true! I believe my BPD was developed due to growing up with a narcissist father. Emotional abuse was a huge factor to my BPD. I also have a grandmother with BPD that has always let it go untreated so hers was very severe while my mother was growing up. So I believe for me it was a mixture or genes and emotional abuse
I have a friend with BPD and from what she has described her parents sounds like some kind of narcissism was present.
Abuse and neglect as a child
My dad has NPD too. He mentally abused me since age of 12 and ever since child I saw my mom being physically abused
My dad emotionally abused me bad for years and I think I developed borderline personality disorder
I have heard other psychologists and psychiatrists say that it is hard to find someone willing to treat a patient with BPD because it's complicated and hard to treat, so hearing you say that there is real hope in recovery is so awesome!
Yikes, thats sad and discouraging
I've been told the same!
Dr. Daniel Fox is also very encouraging.
I want to remind those with BPD, it is possible to have healthy relationships, you aren't forever alone and you can improve
Cryotics 💗💗💗
Thanks! Needed to hear that 😊
💖💖💖
Hi could I ask you a few questions?:)
Ask them! :)
Not everyone "recovers". Diagnosed at 16, still struggling at 55. Wasn't told I had BPD for 9 years. I've noticed that videos on BPD attract a lot of comments like "that sounds like me" " I think I have BPD I'm going to ask my DR/therapist". Believe me, it's not a disorder to aspire to. The stigma is massive so I don't tell anyone my diagnosis. As for the new description, "Emotionally Unstable personality disorder", it's horrific. We need a new name for such a complex condition . People have suggested "Emotion Regulation Disorder". BPD is far more problematic than your average personality disorder. It is a serious mental illness.
😢
I agree I dated someone with BPD for 3 years 6 months. He’s 40 years old. He wants a wife/ a live in girlfriend so bad but he gets way too upset over minor things. I just pray he gets the help he needs to maintain a long term romantic relationship.
Bpd can also be caused by abusive relationships. It doesn't necessarily have to be abuse from childhood. I have bpd from a culmination of neglect, bullying and abusive relationships. I am currently in recovery. Thankyou for not demonizing us 💖💖💖
Thank you for sharing!! And yes! Bullying and/or abusive relationships can lead to BPD as well. xoxo
Im pretty sure that's how I got it too.
I think is how I developed mine too I've dealt with neglect, kidnapping and tons of abuse. I don't think people realize where these disorders truly stem from.
Thank for sharing and mentioning causes other than neglectful or abusive parenting. So many of these videos on BPD claim that there is ONLY ONE cause...”you must have had a narcissistic parent or parents. Many parents of BPD sufferers are getting a very unfair rap.
My daughter was diagnosed with BPD in 2012. My husband died tragically before she was born, so I raised her by myself. I always treasured her as a gift from God, since after many fertility treatments, including multiple surgeries, I was told that we probably wouldn’t have children. I learned that I was pregnant just 1 month before my husband died.
So I treasured this little girl who came into my life. She was everything that I ever wanted... to be a Mom and have a family. All indications were that we had a very close relationship until she left for college. We hardly ever even said a cross word to each other. I used to brag to friends and family about how lucky I was to have such a well-behaved child. She never gave me any problems or trouble even in her teenage years (although I do recall some doozie temper tantrums when she was going through the “terrible 2’s.” I had to physically hug/hold her to keep her from hurting herself!) But nothing after that until she left for college.
She chose to go to a top-rated, big-name college that was actually in our hometown, so she was only 15-20 mins away. But she seemed to fall apart once she was there. My first indicator was when I was contacted by my cousin to go to the local ER because my daughter was there and was saying that she felt suicidal! Shortly after, she was diagnosed with BPD, which even as a healthcare professional, I had never heard of. I immediately started researching it.
I’ve spoken to several counselors/therapists, all of whom told me that BPD was NOT always caused by abusive/neglectful parenting; that there were other causes as well, including a genetic component.
These same therapists also mentioned that this “abusive parenting as the sole cause” was an outdated theory. They compared it to the days of when initially doctors/psychiatrists used to blame things like ADHD and autism on “bad parenting.” And they reminded me of how back in the 80s and 90s MANY behavioral issues in children were blamed on “the latch-key child effect,” when mothers started entering the workforce in large numbers out of economic necessity.
It was a very misogynistic accusation against mothers...a backlash, if you will for their having the audacity to enter the workforce.
As someone who has been researching the phenomenon of brain injury from vaccines for the last 8 years, I’ve also read the stories of mothers and parents who were initially blamed for their child’s injury, only to later discover that they were brain-injured by a vaccine.
So our allopathic medical system and our system of psychiatric care have a well documented history of first blaming parents for that which they don’t fully yet understand.
Also, I’ve seen male doctors treat women with real physical symptoms as if they were “hysterics” simply because the Dr didn’t know/understand the underlying cause. My own mother was treated this way by an OB/GYN who wanted to prescribe Valium for what turned out to be a severe case of endometriosis that required a hysterectomy. He apologized to her after the surgery.
So anyway, I just wanted to point out this well documented history of our medical system of blaming and shaming parents or even patients themselves for issues that are not fully understood.
In the case of my daughter and myself, sadly she has connected with a therapist who subscribes to the theory that “you MUST have had an abusive/narcissistic parent. That is the ONLY cause of BPD.” So now my daughter has been convinced that she needs to sever all contact with me, which saddens me greatly. She’s also been doing some triangulating with other family members, so has damaged my reputation with them. I’ve also witnessed the “splitting” behavior...in which she believes that a person is “all good, or all bad.” For the last 9 months she has believed that I am “all bad.” It’s frustrating and heartbreaking, but I am giving her the “space” that she says that she needs to heal.
I hope that one day she might find a therapist that recognizes the MULTIPLE causes of BPD, and I hope that one day she’ll remember the close and very good relationship that we once had. Until then, all I can do is try and be supportive from a distance.
But THANK YOU so much for acknowledging that there are indeed multiple causes and that “abusive parenting” is not always a given in BPD. The “abusive parenting” label is one that cause a lot of emotional damage when it is applied inappropriately. It also can sometimes inhibit parents from reaching out to find help/seek answers if they’re afraid that they will be slapped with this label. I know that it made me question my reality for a period of time before I was finally told that it’s not ALWAYS the cause or the case.
When I was a teenager, you name it. Almost every person I had a interaction with put me down/ bullied me, I wouldn't say I was abused but every friend, teacher and even my parents never had nice things to say to me or about me (as a teenager I didn't do anything wrong. Good grades, good behaviour , didn't do drugs, didn't act out at all) I was never sexually abused, I was never even physically abused but being bullied for a decent amount of time really makes you think, "what's wrong with me" now I'm 21 and I don't tolerate anyone putting me down or even belittling me, because I never stood up for myself as a kid and now I'm in extra defense mode at all times. It might come across as NPD traits but I'm not delusional, I don't see myself as better than anyone but if you want to say bad things about me it better be true or else I will fight about it. And that's pretty much how I got the BPD diagnosis, because I split on a daily basis, i meet new people and as soon as they come off as bitchy or assholish in nature I don't interact with that person ever again, even going so far as to curving my daily routine to avoid them, if they talk to me i will purposely make it clear that I have no interest which makes me look like a prick. I don't need to explain to people why I won't talk to them they should be aware and figure it out themselves. Also the extreme mood swings I have when I come into conflict, which can always be avoided by not saying anything but I always stand my ground and make it worst for myself and others. Reckless behaviours like having a eating disorder, because people can't hate you for no reason if you look good and doing drugs because it's draining being in a bad mood constantly. I have plenty of close friends who understand where I'm coming from and I love them but every boyfriend I've had has been chaotic, not because they're abusive but they take advantage of how giving and nice I am and eventually I have to cut it all off or else I do become abusive. My first boyfriend I ever had, I gave him PTSD because when I cut everything off he tried to chat up one of my friends friends, and I rocked up to his house drunk and beat him up. Purely just the lack of common respect made me go off the rails. Things I've learnt from BPD, not everyone is a good person, even if they are. Not everyone is a bad person even if they are and if someone targets you it's because you have something they don't have and they're jealous/ they're a energy vampire. Took me so long to learn that but the things I struggle with the most would be having to interact with shitty people, you don't even have to be a bad person, you just have to show me within a few conversations that you're willing to drag other people's name and be a idiot and I will instantly hate you. BPD is a rollercoaster
I can NOT tell you how affirming it is to hear you say "those of us" when addressing focus audiences and populations. It normalizes and helps your viewers to feel seen and accepted. You're awesome, Kati.
You’re such a gift to mental health, Kati ❤️
Awe xoxo
@@Katimorton I remember watching your video on bdp 7 years ago, I was just rediagnosed with BPD and I instantly knew what it was. thank you the gift of knowledge and acceptance :)
It's also caused from not being validated as a child I would tell my mother " I have to go to the bathroom" she would say " no u don't , u just went. That's just an example. I remember telling her that I had a bad headache and could she please turn down the TV. I was just a little girl. She said " don't b so selfish" ......well, thats crazy making.
Had 2 sadists for parents
Was strong enough not to succumb
Developed nothing but extremely tough skin and strong confidence
Dated 2 BPDs for a very short time; nightmares
@@lockandloadlikehell Hhmmnn ... with a handle like "lockandloadlikehell" you're still gonna assert that you "developed nothing"? Perhaps you're telling us more than you realize.
@Desmond Brown go get divorced or stay and accept
@@1thomson Oh this is a wonderful comment... I was thinking the same thing... XD
It's a child's brain in development that gets damaged through the years. So a very natural process. About 75 percent of the human population deal with trauma, but a smaller part will confront and seek help to process this pain.
I always love how Kati includes everyone as a community. She always refers to her audience in a way that makes one feel inclusive and comfortable!!
Agreed!! I love how she always says things like "..affects us" "can hurt us" like she is a part of the group too. Its nice when people show you that you're not alone in a very real way.
Yes not they or you but ‘we’. ‘We’ feels more like ‘ your human to ’ and not like weirdos like ‘you’ or ‘them’ can feel like. ‘We’ feels more like youre a part of the society to
I’ve struggled all my life wondering why I am the way I am. Finally something that makes sense thank you.
You look so pretty princess
@@Craig121000 It seems you have some unresolved issues, but projecting your negative opinions and demonizimg those of us with BPD, most of whom are extremely trustworthy, is not going to help you get over your ex. Maybe you should try therapy to help you.
@@Craig121000 Flat Earth theories? 🤣😭🤣🤣 Hmm. It seems you're very confused.
@@Craig121000 Get help John, you can heal if you'll only accept professional help. Therapy isn't so scary. 😊 You can learn to let go of all the hatred you carry. Really, you'll be much happier. 😀😉
Thank you for speaking about BPD in such a kind way. I have literally seen videos of 'professionals' saying how hard people with this disorder are to be around and how they have no empathy. I am very glad you talk about it in a way that promotes healing.
it's hard to feel empathetic in the moment when we're in flight or fight mode (do boxers care about their opponents feeling pain in the fight?), but we sure as hell feel the remorse afterwards
@@TheFubz I'm sorry but doing harm then feeling remorse afterwards then doing the same harm again is really toxic to the ones around. It feels like a vicious cycle of being mistreated then acting like an apology is enough. I have experienced severe trauma but I hold myself accountable or separate myself when im not okay. I think thats a huge issue with the BPDs I surrounded myself with. Everything turns into catering to their every mood swing as if they are children without self control. Why is it that the BPD needs turn more important than others needs? Why is it that others have to suffer because of your lack of awareness and actually damaging others mental health more? Everyone experiences fight or flight, specially extreme one from trauma. It is not an excuse.
@@Lauracupcake1121 i mean, once you get diagnosed with it you are required to be accountable despite of being ill but I'd give somebody a pass on things done in the past only once if they were never diagnosed before
@@Lauracupcake1121 this is extremely unhelpful and the reason BPD sufferers have such a hard time finding help and support. You’re just saying the same thing everyone else does without considering everything going on.
Damn they straight up say we have no empathy? Sounds a bit _apathetic_ don't you think?
This is very helpful for those of us who deal with people suffering from personality disorders. Thank you.
when you say that in 10 years you can actually see a difference I cried because I wait for the time I can look behind me with BPD.
Danyella Bear after two years I can say I am not the same person that I was and my symptoms have disappeared almost completely. Hard work though and therapy every week. I can see myself in years ahead being just simply healthy and whole looking back to the person I used to be plagued by bpd but no longer identifying to it💕
@@tianamaighan you give me hope ❤
has it gotten better yet
@@trinitydelciampo5616 no, but I work on figuring out what’s actually upsetting me and then solving that problem. Right now my stress is bad... as far as BPD symptoms... I tried to kill myself a couple times in 2020. Half heartedly. Otherwise it’d be done.
But I think in some ways it has gotten better. My understanding and my internal conversation has been way more positive and open. I understand myself more. A part of my BPD is dissociation so I understand I locked away parts of myself I can only fix with guided therapy.
I need to get financially stable then I can look into DBT. Or online therapy. Yeah
@@phychodoll1 omg literally same haha
I’m a social worker and I’ve never met anyone with BPD who DIDNT have trauma.
thank you....invalidating environments and emotional abuse as well abandonment.
@@kaiikaika512 ummmmmmmmm, just no
I have heard of someone who had it because their parents had it.
@@kazkilos Yes, it can be passed through genetics.
haven't we all experienced trauma in one form or another??
I have BPD. I seriously need help with distress tolerance. I can go from calm and regulated thoughts to “I hate you, I’m pissed off” in less than a second. And I don’t know why, or how to stop.
Amy Holley hope you're doing better. i too struggle with this. even on my best days, ONE thing can ruin all of it. i usually de-stress with one of my pets or just being alone. sometimes being alone is the only way i can keep it together.
anywho, hope you find some answers 💜
I relate to this too, I’d love to know how to escape that “switch” where I just snap into angry mode from what was seemingly a great day
What helps me when I'm splitting is to keep reminding myself something positive about the person I'm devaluing. I just keep repeating it to myself. Also pulling yourself away from the situation to calm down helps as well. Calming down usually helps a lot with rationalizing between feelings and BPD feelings. One thing that has also helped me is when it's hard to pull back the people in my life are told beforehand if I started splitting to pull back as well. This way it also kinda forces you to pull back and calm down for a bit before trying to have a more relaxed conversation about why you or the other person is upset.
Thank you so much for this video! I’ve been diagnosed with bpd for 2 years now and appreciate your videos so much. ❤️
Same here, trying my best to get better
i love your videos
Sammy-Marie Grimm between your videos and Kati’s, it’s definitely helped. I was officially diagnosed last week, but I had started to suspect I had BPD around a year ago. Talking about having BPD with those closest to me has been one of the more helpful things I could have done, despite how difficult it is when you’re still trying to understand it all. So thank you for sharing and being so open.
Sammy!♡ love your videos! They really help me to deal with bpd
Sammy-marie! I subbed your channel ❤️❤️❤️
As someone who is borderline, I just want to say that I love this video! You’re voice is so soothing and I love your vibe. Thank you so much for helping others understand what it is like for people with BPD 💖
sorry for the superficial comment, but your hair looks really great! ♥️
Awe thank you :) xoxo
I agree. Your hair looks fabulous. :) @@Katimorton
It's uneven the right side is way shorter then the left
tt
OCD much?
It's supposed to be like that, look at her part.
therapy is too expensive. I'd just watch ur vids. thank you so much.
@@peregrino9154 but whats the point if you have a trained phycoligist in front of you
Fred Garvin Reading self help books by mental health professionals helps me absorb the information straight to my core rather than having a face to face in office visit with them.
Peregrino just because the person who made the original comment can’t afford therapy, doesn’t mean she doesn’t care about her mental health.
@@clarradactyl7791 true, I have ADHD and I wanted to be cured but don't have the money for it
I need that book because I am NOT OK.
It's a must-read! Love the audio book too, since her voice is so soothing!
Natalie Coleman ordered it and it will be here WEDNESDAY!! 😁😁😁
@@Neeshpeesh123 Enjoy!!!!!!
How you been?
I haven’t been diagnosed with BPD, but in describing it I started to cry because it sounded a bit like me. Thank you for this, Kati. It’s very helpful and hopeful.
Thank you for this. I have a friend with BPD and this just helps me understand her more so I can be more supportive.
Awe I am so glad!!! xoxo
Thank you for supporting your friend. Support is very important for us since we often don’t get it. My old friends never supported me, your friend is lucky to have such a good friend ♥️
She's a lucky girl to have a friend like you in her life. I don't think anyone but my mother has ever cared about me enough to actually try to learn about BPD and how debilitating it can be.
Hailey Railey I’m so sorry you haven’t been supported! I have my own mental health issues so maybe that’s why I care so much to learn what she’s going through. I know what it’s like to not have people understand so I try my best.
Ashley Elder I’m so sorry you don’t have much support. I know people don’t always understand mental health issues. I have my own as well, so maybe that’s why I try to understand her more. Maybe it’s harder for those who don’t have any issues to understand.
I was never diagnosed but I promise you in my 20s I had BPD. I worked very hard to get out of that cycle. I’m 35 today and I no longer fit the BPD criteria. Mental health will always need to be addressed in my life; it’s usually at the forefront of my day with my self care needs. Having said that, you can recover from BPD, never give up. You are worth it!
Me too almost! I control it so well even though I got lotsa therapists they just scratch their heads and call me bipolar a buncha times (I'm also 35 undiagnosed) but only reason this suboxone program im succeeding at (used to be drug addict) still doesn't quite beleive I'm clean yet and it's complicated but the fear of losing the program is only thing making me have symptoms cuz like...I don't wanna get kicked off and go back to shooting smack...but I don't trust these people enough to risk that diagnosis for a therapist and doctor who are hecka annoyed with me, anyways, how did u get over it on ur own? It doesn't even effect my current relationship at all but I do kinda fear dying on the street enough to hit up a random stranger for a way out so...hoe u get this. Would love ur advice. Thx take care
Hope** u get this
I like how Kati says "we" or "us" when describing disorders even though she does not personally experience them. It does a great job of helping people not to feel alone
Yes!😍
I'm glad I found answers, but I can't help but feel down. I've destroyed so many awesome relationships in my life and was completely unaware that I was the problem. I honestly didn't mean to hurt anyone at all. I just feel such a deep pain when it comes to so many things. I can easily spiral into a immensely deep depression and escalate really quickly. I always knew this would happen but I guess to me it became normal. Spiraling downward is the worst pain for someone like me, I would never wish it on anyone. I will feel so hopeless and worthless when it happens and it leads me to making irrational decisions. My anxiety is always so high everyday. We love really hard as people but the fear of abandonment makes us do stuff that result in the opposite outcome. I never understood this until now. In my head I was doing the things I needed to keep people in my life but the opposite would happen. I wish I never hurt anyone and I wish I wasnt made like this.
There are always two sides of a choin dear. If those people were meant for you they would have stayed. Or at least asked why you are reacting this way or pointing out your specific mistakes so you could improve and do better. Cause it's an easy fact that you can't improve If you don't know your mistakes.
So if they don't they either didnt care at all or were to corwardly to do it.
The first type of people you just don't need.
And about the second, ask yourself: if they don't have the courage to tell you the honest truth in a proper way, and just simply putting all the blame on you, are they really in any way better then you? My answer: No.
Cause instead of introspect and selfreflecting themself, most people just like to put the blame on others cause it's easier then accepting ones own faults and defizits. Thats not only a fault of yours or people with mental health problems. Everyone does this.
So stop Putting all the blame on you for losing them. And just try to do better.
This made me tear up 😢. My child was just diagnosed with class B personality disorder and I’m scared for her.
DBT literally changed my life. I highly recommend it to anyone dealing with BPD.
I agree. On paper though DBT looks fucking dumb but after going to a DBT group for 6 months it became more of a subconscious thing I use as it was drilled in my brain.
I will let my partner know to look into it as I have BPD :)
I have BPD and I was very emotionally neglected as a child.
I understand that one so well, just know you are loved. Walk tall.
Same
for anyone worried about getting through (or mainly just dealing with BPD), my therapist said I most likely had BPD so we worked every week on understanding why/how I saw so many things in black and white formats, why my anger levels and impulsivity were all over the place, and other things related to my life-history. I can confidently say today that I can see the gray (middle ground) in almost every situation in my life, my anger and depression have subsided, and I am simply a lot better. I really recommend everyone find a good therapist to talk to..one you can truly trust. I don't think I'd be where I am today without having gone to therapy. I put in a lot of effort to stay calm and grounded. Sometimes just realizing how you're thinking can help you change it or adapt to what your brain might just naturally do. Also, you're not alone!! You got this
So sweet of you thank you for encouraging us all!!
Kati saves my life everyday. This video is so, so relieving as a person with BPD. I’ve never heard about the ten-year possibility of recovery thing. Thanks for giving us hope and guiding people Kati.
Literally got diagnosed with this on Saturday after being wrongly diagnosed with bipolar for a long time.
This video was insanely helpful thankyou Kati xx
How are you today India? I’m genuinely interested because, well, I’m looking for insight into my own situation
I’m so sorry you were misdiagnosed. That is always incredibly frustrating and hard to deal with
Same! I was wrongly diagnosed with bipolar and today I had my first session with a new psychiatrist and she said that I have borderline personality disorder and not just bipolar. God! The relief was so much! For the past 7 years I have been trying to solve my problems using solutions for bipolar. No wonder they didn't work. I dedicated myself to this process that I took a degree in psychology and then I majored in guidance and counselling so that I could help myself and others around me with mental health issues. Let's all work together and beat the shit out of BPD!
what u said about people with bpd being changed over the course of ten years made me cry because it helps me know i'm not hopeless, and that i can change.
I should have shared this a comment and not a reply so , sorry for singling you out Michelle, I just don't want you or anyone else with BPD to suffer , all therapy is not good therapy, and I've been seeking help for decades. Sometimes there just is no hope. You just learn to live with it.
i’m learning so much from your videos and i can’t wait to become a therapist in the near future :)
You don’t know how much of a difference saying “we” makes. Thankyou💗
My ex had BPD (although she denies it) and it was really hard to be with her, even though I really wanted to. It wasn't until after I broke up with her that it came out that she had it and I felt horrible. I abandoned her like she feared, even though the reason I left was because she was very much pushing me away/giving me major mixed signals and it was causing me great anxiety and stress. I then tried being just friends with her after confessing that I loved her but I had a hard time establishing boundaries because I just wanted to take care of her and make her happy, and she took advantage of it. Now I know, after a lot of research into the mental illness, that just made her not want me even more because she didn't feel like she deserved me being kind to her.
I want others to know that people with BPD do deserve to be happy. It's hard for them to realize that and people think they're "evil" but they need support and they themselves need to seek counseling. However, it's also important for you to take care of yourself and set boundaries so you don't get emotionally hurt in the process, like me. I'm now going to therapy for my issues after the relationship, and I actually see a therapist that specializes in DBT and it's amazing. I'm feeling more myself everyday.
Aniroc192 wow, this is what is exactly what i experience in my relationship. And I’m so lucky my fiancé tries to understand. Kudos to you for educating yourself on mental health. It’s really important to have allies that try to make sense of it especially when we can’t make any sense of it ourselves through our struggles.
@@cvb4117 If I had known in the beginning, I would have been more understanding of the pulling in and pushing away. I couldn't read her and it made me literally go crazy. I look back on the relationship now and see that it was very toxic for me. I'm codependent so I also have work that I need to do. I still really care about her but she has moved onto someone else already. It's difficult to accept for me but...what can you do?
Good luck with you and your relationship. Good to know that you were able to accept your diagnosis so that your partner has a better understanding of you. Be patient with one another and know that if he knows what I know and he is willing to stay, that he DOES care about you, no matter what the voice in your head is saying. Just breathe. You're not crazy,
Aniroc192 yes, this is so important. i was in a very similar situation and it really hurt me.
As someone with BPD, do not feel obligated to continue a relationship that is toxic to you. I feel like I have been pretty toxic in relationships through out my life time esp before I was diagnosed and couldn't explain my outbursts or learn how to rationalize around them since I didn't know the stem issue. While it may not be someone's fault they are acting a certain way, it is not anyways job to cater to that and feel guilted into being with them. If you didn't feel happy in the relationship before you knew she had it, then it shouldn't make a difference after knowing the fact. I am blessed to currently have a bf who has found a way to help calm me down when I'm splitting so we can both relax and talk about the issue we are having in a more logical way. I also feel the loving vibes from you for doing your research and not blaming her for her issues and getting help for the damage the relationship caused for yourself.
ya is good, humiliate me with my pathetic attempts to gain control of stuff in for me completely unhandlebar situations
you explain things in such a way that feels like we are listening to a friend vs a therapist. Your patients are very fortunate to have you to work with
Loved this so much, i have BPD and it is so misunderstood by people around me. A lot of people think you have to have had a shitty/abusive upbringing in order to have BPD and that is not the case for me so i always felt like i had to defend my parents, so its nice to hear someone with a public platform informing people of this! I went to an intense DBT program for a year of my life and therapists have complimented/"praised" how well I reacted to the information and use it in my everyday life. I think a lot of it is being mindful of the changes that happen so quickly in my brain and slowing them down or rationalizing/validating myself instead of "needing" others to do it for me. Im not a victim im an everyday survivor of my own thoughts and i kick BPD's ass!
One thing I've noticed that is devastating when healing my BPD: smartphone addiction.
Not necessarily YT and Netflix, but internet and social media. Really harmful for the prefrontal cortex, or maybe even for the whole brain.
When this came on I stopped what I was doing to see you.
Awe I hope you enjoyed it and found it helpful :) xoxo
@@Katimorton of course I did Kati every video has made me a better person because it helps me understand what I need to improve on myself
Mee too I love Kati Morton she's the best
I was lucky enough to have been sponsored by the local university to receive DBT by trained doctors. It changed my entire view on life. Now years on, sure I have a bad day here or there, but knowing I have the tools to overcome any challenges, I know now I have a exciting future ahead. Thank you for talking about this topic :)
Wow this is awesome. My big sister has just been diagnosed with BPD, and since I was diagnosed with clinical depression when i was 14, i want to be able to be there for her since i know how it feels to have stigma attached to your emotional wellbeing and mental health. This was really helpful. Thanks Kati. 😊 Also, you look really prettyyyyyy... WE STAN
Awe I am so glad you found this helpful and can make it easier for you to understand and support your sister :) You are the best!! xoxo
I have BPD and have been in recovery for ten years now. BPD does have a bad reputation, my college professor even called it a "therapists nightmare" (he didnt know I have BPD). Sharing my story, being open and honest about it, has reduced the stigma about the "bad rep." Of course not everyone is understanding or open minded - and thats ok because thats on their character, not my BPD. you rawk Kati!
kati is literally the reason i reached out for help in the first place and i’m seeing a psychiatrist in a few weeks, finally getting the help i’ve needed for so long thanks to these videos. thank you :’)
scarlett j.f Woot Woot! ❤️
Your videos have really helped me come to terms with my diagnoses; bpd was especially uncomfortable to accept for the reasons you've talked about before despite the fact that it definitely "fits". I really appreciate your compassion, understanding and confidence that people with bpd, and other mental illnesses can actually feel better and have satisfying lives.
new look or what ?
some thing is different today .
always beautiful
i appreciate your videos
I got my hair cut :) xoxo
@@Katimorton Love u from morocco.
This video is great for explaining. My therapist thinks my bpd has something to do with childhood trauma and sexual abuse early on in my life.. I was misdiagnosed as bipolar for a while until I started getting intensive care. Highly recommend getting help for anyone going through this. 😿💔❤️❤️
Omg yes, I was misdiagnosed as that too. Raised by a narcissistic mother, lots of emotional abuse. I don't know wtf is wrong with me but I mentally can't get help. I need it, I suffer sooooo much. Loose every job, zero relationships of any kind.... but I can't get help. Am I scared...I don't know.
I really hope you get to read this, because I want to thank you. I wish I could fit my life story into this comment but I want to get to the point. In August of last year me and my mom got into a huge argument. I was belittled for most of my childhood, so this was one of the very few times I stood up for myself, and it was intense. I was never disrespectful, but because I had never stood up to my mom I felt so guilty. I used to think my mom was bipolar because she way very hot and cold. Some days she would tell me I was her world, other days she would tear me to shreds with snippy, subliminal, passive aggressive comments. I left my house on August 5th and I was hopping around from friend house to friend house. All while I was a full time student and part time working. I was at the lowest point in my life and I contemplated suicide nearly every day. I convinced myself that my little sister would understand why I did it, and my boyfriend would eventually get over it. Every day was a gamble for me. I felt so helpless. Eventually I gathered some courage and made an appointment to see the school therapist at my college. I almost walked out when I heard her call my name--I felt weak for seeking help. But I stayed. and I went to her a total of 3 times, because that is the amount of times I'm allowed at school before they start charging for each session. It helped me a lot. I found out my mom wasn't bipolar, but she has BPD. And coincidentally around the same time you started to post more and more about BPD, and you helped me connect so many dots and helped me understand so much. Today you posted a video on what casues BPD, and when you said that of I had a first degree relative who had BPD, I was 10 times more prone to having it too, I cried. Because I feel like I'm just like my mom, and for years I've tried convincing myself otherwise, but I'm 99% sure I have BPD as well. But as the video went on and you explained that it is curable, you've given me hope. I didn't want to have kids because I've been afraid that I would ruin my kids with my mental health being absolute garbage, but you've given me hope. My boyfriend is amazing, and has been helping me with my roller coaster of emotions even before we started dating but he still doesn't fully understand what goes through my head, so he just comforts me with love and although I am grateful for it, it's nice to have you be so encouraging and understanding. Putting explanations to all my insane thoughts that turn out aren't so crazy. Thank you so much for existing, thanks to you I can see the light at the end of this tunnel I've been wandering in for years. I recently got a new job where I am a dental assistant and I just became full time this month. I hope to be able to move out with my boyfriend in 2 months and continue to work on my mental health. If you could keep the BPD videos coming I would greatly appreciate it, although I'm not sure what more you could say. Thank you so much Kati. You have saved my life.
Yes!!
The last two years of my journey discovering I have been struggling with BPD my entire life has lead to me writing 40 songs I need to share with the world ASAP
I was diagnosed with BPD several years ago. I wasn't convinced but I decided to join a DBT group. I learned so much from that training! I think every school in the world should incorporate this into its curriculum. Its more useful than anything other than reading and basic math.
I participated in that group for about 2 years and my current therapist sees no sign of BPD in me!
Thank you for sharing your wonderful story!! I agree with the school curriculum suggestion.
Hi! I developed BPD due to my service in the the Army at 18 in the Gulf in 1990. I developed PTSD by the threat of chemical warfare and the death and body parts I handled as a Lab Tech. My so glad i finally got properly diagnosed along with Anxiety and depression!!
Kati, I'm so glad you made a video about this again. BPD is like the dark side of my personality and it makes me suffer alot.
And it was very comforting when you said that research has shown that BPD can be healed. It's the first time I hear this about a mental illness.
Spanish subtitles help me share this and others with friends and family. Thank you Kati!
Allison hi Allison! like your name =)
I LOVE your videos on BPD!! I used to be terrified of BPD because I thought my (ex) mother-in-laws had it and she is so manipulative (turns out she’s a narcissist) I NEVER would have given a friendship with someone with BPD a chance if I hadn’t been educated by your content! And I would have missed out on some AMAZING friendships!! ❤️
Awe I am so glad my videos helped you better understand BPD and realize that it's not something we need to run away from. xoxo Yay! xoxo
Everything that she explained sounds like my issues. I’ve been called a drama queen my whole life because I could never control my emotions. My emotions are 10 times more intense than someone who doesn’t have BPD. So something so small can trigger me to have an episode or “temper tantrum”.
Love your new hair!!! 'Borderline' needs to be renamed (and no, the other name 'Emotionally unstable' is not good enough!!!). Was diagnosed 15 years ago, and soon learned not to tell anyone, the stigma is HUGE. You might as well tell people you are the devil, that's how others will react, which makes this disorder an even bigger every day, every hour challenge.
Awe thank you!! xoxo I totally agree!! The name itself sounds stigmatizing. xoxo
Where does the stigma come from? Do you have a guess?
@@dr.k9411 language, obviously
So true, Vicky! First the child is abused, develops mental issues, then is victimized again by an ignorant society. Better to protect yourself.
@@paulasynjohnson - Care to elaborate?
It’s so difficult when BPD is compounded with other mental illnesses as well as chronic physical illness. Unbelievably exhausting. I hope in another 10 years I’ll be better off than I am now. I can say though that I’m much more stable than I was 10 years ago. It takes a lot of hard work to get there.
How are you now?😢 Did it get better? I hope so 💕
@@Babeatrice Aww thank you. I am doing a lot better, actually! I'm in remission from BPD now thanks to mood stabilizers and dialectical behavioral therapy 💜
Thank you. My life up to this point has been just awful. This video gives me hope.
I was in therapy for two years and was diagnosed with BPD. For the past few months I have tried to stay in the DBT group sessions the VA has offered but find them not for me. At 70 years of age and a Viet Nam war vet I just don't see the use of trying to change as you have said, it can be done in ten years. I realistically do not have ten years so I will try to deal with what I have and what I have learned to finish out this life as best I can. Thanks for the videos as you have helped me understand my actions and reactions.
Love the relaxed, youthful vibe you're giving off today. Straight hair✔ clean makeup✔ cozy hoodie✔ it's a good look.
All I have to say is "Thank you so much"
I am gonna start working on it and I hope in 10 years I can look back and be glad I got over my BPD.
The fact that we can overcome this is so hopefull... thank you Kati♡
I really appreciate the way you deliver important information, there is a lot of negativity around BPD online so reading about it is usually very stressful and unpleasant but knowledge helps a lot so it’s a constant struggle. Thank you for the kindness and positivity, it helps understanding what I’m going through without judgement. Your videos are wonderfully thoughtful and caring. Thank you so much
Your hair is sooooo cute ❤️
Just wanted to stop by and let you know that this was the video that made me seek therapy and new medication and I’ve just now been able to feel genuine happiness for the first time in my 22 years of living. Thank you so much for making content like this. You have no idea how important it was to me.
Kati, you look stunning in this video. Fantastic content as always. I'm particularly amazed by the fact that the brain can overcome/heal from BPD. I'm interested in what other disorders this applies to. Best to you.
It applies to eating disorders too.
I was misdiagnosed as bi-polar and treated for it for years, nothing worked. Recently I was re-diagnosed with PTSD and BPD and since I've started treatment for both I am doing so much better. Receiving the diagnosis of BPD and PTSD was actually a huge relief. It brought better understanding from my family, as my intense emotions were always misread growing up. I've actually received a few apologies from some family members who feel they contributed to the instability of my childhood and I've been able to move past a lot of things. I'm looking forward to continuing my treatment and hopefully one day coming to a place where I have better understanding of myself and others.
I have BPD! Always thought I wasn’t altogether my whole life...multiple episodes n mood swings is my main trait n also identity
"MOVING?" I went to FIVE different ELEMENTARY schools! That was a definite 'AH HA' moment for me, Kati... Thank you!
Yes I realized that my mom was unstable
First of: I really love this look on you, it definitely suits you :) Apart from that, I really love how you're so nice about BPD, most people I've met (including professionals) are often so demonising over BPD (and some even cptsd), it's seen as something bad and that you should be ashamed off and will never go away. You actually gave me hope that one day I won't struggle with bpd/cptsd anymore. Thank you for your awesome videos
First time I’ve ever really watched any of Kati’s videos...I’m so impressed with the support and love from everyone in the comments! It’s so uplifting to see a group of people coming together like this, especially on social media.
That's so weird. I've been researching BPD all day because I'm pretty sure I may have this 😂 then you make a video about it! Thank you
Thank you so much for the video. I've done extensive research into BPD and even went to school for psychology. Mental illness has always been put on the back burner to those who say "they can just change how they feel" that's like asking someone who doesn't have BPD to calm down when they feel their life is going down the drain and are freaking out about it. The emotions expressed or internalized can be the same in terms of how powerful they are, however with someone with BPD that is experienced much more often then those without and is why borderline personality disorder can be confused with bipolar disorder. The main difference between the two is one is a personality disorder and the other is a mood disorder. And don't forget that someone can actually have both, although rare and very hard to diagnose. Also remember that medication doesn't really help BPD. It takes roughly a month for phic meds to work (if even the right ones) and then after a month on you'll have to up your dosage and continue to up it month by month. What I've done as a sufferer of borderline and bipolar is to learn to be mindful of all that's around you. The biggest trick I've learned is that if something is out of your control and anything and everything you try doesn't help. there is no need to dwell on it, be mad, sad ect. You can't control it so best to let it go and see how things play out. Live in the moment bc those of us with BPD live each moment like its out last. I can go on and on but I think this might help some. Knowledge is power.. good luck to you all, and thank you for the great video!!
Just been diagnosed officially after 12 years, thank you Kati for giving me understanding and hope! 💕
Katie you are an angel. Truly. You have no idea how important this is. All I have read and watched in videos is incredibly cruel and negative. Literally saying people with BPD are unlovable and toxic. Thank you so much for this. I wish I could hug you.
I always knew I have something odd with my mind and personality but i’m just now learning about BPD. And i think I have it, and im scared
I have had BPD for eleven years. I am starting DBT and hope it will help. I love your video. You use the words “we” and you talk just like an average person not a doctor. It’s refreshing. Thank you
Thank you. I was trained that there was no treatment for BPD and the best you could do was to provide safety when they were in crisis and then discharge, but I'm glad there are treatments now.
I feel everything intensely, I avoid people bc everything they say will be used against them. I'm not verbal and can put on a fake smile, but I have feelings of hate towards certain people. I bottle things up, which is worse but I don't have anyone to talk to, then my brain explodes and I go into severe isolation. An ongoing struggle. I feel lonely, cold and lost. On the flip side, I love people so much too, but they eventually join the love-hate club. I'm exhausted; my body is proof, I have no desire to do things I once enjoyed. Life is passing me by. Nobody cares enough about others feelings
@spacey editz how are you finding it in quarantine?
i feel the same way. hope ur doing better
I have my second chapter of dbt today and I have had bpd since I was 12 (diagnosed at 35). I found that acceptance commitment therapy has help regulate me and learn to accept that some days I can't people well and to try and be kind to myself. Also I look at the positives of my illness. I may have strong emotions but that means I have the ability to love strongly. Which is great.
“Some days I can’t people well” I really love that. Wishing you lots of love and happiness!
I’m someone with BPD who has worked REALLY REALLY hard for over 10 years and while I have a long journey to go, I’m currently living a lovely life. I’m married, studying successfully at university, and learning new skills and exploring the best ways to manage my mental health. I’m no where near where I want to be but for the first time in my life, I feel hopeful. I may still make mistakes but I’ve learned the power of hard work, forgiveness, and education. When I look back at my past self, it’s amazing how far I’ve come. I never thought I’d make it to where I am, and now I can’t wait to see where I end up.
You literally make lives better Kati. Blessed to have access to your work
This video is such an awesome crash course on BPD. Many people that I treat with BPD are very curious as to what caused it and my answer looks very similar to what you said. It’s a mix of nature and nurture, typically the gene is there (nature) and there is an activating event (nurture) like what you were describing trauma or incredibly stressful childhood, that brings the BPD out. Love how you said everything here!
Such an informative video. I got goosebumps when you said we can change our brains and recover from bpd. Thank you Kati. You have helped to change my brain already with such positive information and most importantly hope :)
I have schizoaffective disorder, but I’ve had a couple therapists suggest I do dbt for some reason. Kati, you are a godsend and I can tell you are passionate about what you do by the way your eyes light up. Thanks for creating this community. I now feel less alone.
CW: suicide
I had to come back to this video because I just recently lost a friend to suicide. She's suffered from BPD for years and a lot of us guessed it would be how she'd go. I feel so guilty for not doing enough even though I know a lot of us did try.
BPD is the toughest of the personality disorders to treat. Do not blame yourself, you are not a trained professional. My daughter has BPD, but she has had DBT and is doing much better than she was five years ago. She got married this year to a nice young man. I worried for years that she would end up killing herself with her impulsive behavior. There is only so much you can do.
Sorry for your loss😢😢
I am so sorry for your loss! It's common for people to feel guilty after a suicide. Mental illness can be hard and only the person with the illness can control what they chose to do. Sadly, there is only so much we can do.
This is the first channel i have found that I have heard that you can actually heal the brain and overcome bpd, this has literally brought tears to my eyes. I was incorrectly diagnosed and went through years of cbt which just never clicked until I was properly diagnosed and discovered dbt, I've only started but to have someone say something so hopeful, makes me happy to know that I can heal if I work hard.
I have BPD and your videos are helping me a lot.
I appreciate your videos
I just bought your book. Thank you Kati Morton for helping those who can’t afford regular therapy get by. I know you encourage getting help all the time, but sometimes I can’t even afford help because I am suffering and so I can’t make money so I can’t afford help. It’s a viscous cycle. Thank you for just helping me feel less alone when I feel so alone so often. 💔
You have anew hair cut and it looks gorgeous on you 😗thank you for this video
I do!!! and thank you so much :) xoxo
Kati I really appreciate your videos on BPD. I'm learning so much from you. YOU make a difference 💕💖💕
I have BPD and it’s hard loving someone due to thinking they might cheat, or leave. I haven’t told my bf about my past yet, and my suicidal thought, I’m scared that he will leave me. I didn’t know what BPD till now, you always make me feel better. I have BPD due to my childhood past, my parents always use to fight so that’s the reason why I have it.
This was so much more informative than my psychiatrist who diagnosed me with BPD after talking to me for only 15 minutes. Mental health services where I live are seriously lacking. I have no way to get treatment.
Hi Kati, do you want subtitles in Finnish? If you want i can do them whenever i have time.
Yes that would be great!!! You never know who it could help :) xoxo You are the best!! xoxo
Hey I just saw this comment and thought I'd mention the Rewired Soul, he does mental health videos too and is also looking for people to caption, I just signed myself up to do English captions bc he's got deaf viewers, but I'm sure he'd love to have Finnish captions too if you're interested in doing them! Just thought I'd mention it since I saw you offer, and mental health videos specifically are such a big deal to me, gotta plug and show my support any way I can, bc Kati and Chris (rewired soul) have both helped me so much since I've found their channels, that's why I offered to do captions for his vids, lol, but Kati if you need English captions I'd be happy to help too, I only speak English though, unfortunately, so I can only do English lol
Thank you, Katie. I ' ve been diagnosed 3 years ago and ir was very hard because I suspected I had BPD but they wouldn' t treat me for it. Now, I have a doctor and a theraphist and I AM doing CBT( I can't afford dbt) and it is helping me.
Thank you for bringing up the brain chemistry aspect. ♡
I just wanted to say that I found your channel tonight and it's a tremendous help and comfort for me, as someone who survived extreme childhood abuse, has been long diagnosed with PTSD (they said it was complex but that wasn't officially recognized in the book yet) and only last year diagnosed with BPD. I'd never even really heard of it before and all the research I did on it was just horrifying. It makes you feel like some kind of monster to learn what the popular opinions are.
I can no longer afford therapy and have been without it the majority of my life, have never been able to find someone specializing in trauma or DBT. It's mostly just been me working on becoming more aware of myself, my symptoms, and finding solutions through trial and error. A bit funny to have worked my own way beyond much of the more extreme reactivity issues before even finding the name for what was causing them. I'm going to search around to see if there are any free, public resources like online videos conducting DBT practices for those of us who can't afford therapy because it sounds insanely useful.
Anyway, I wanted to say thank you for making your channel and putting out these super positive, supportive, inspirational videos. Even to see one professional looking at you and saying there's hope, that with continued work it can totally get better, well it means the world.
rainbow kitty Welcome to the Community!
You look so well kati!
Thank you for the bpd videos, always helps!