I was diagnosed when I was 8 and I felt like I got less visibly autistic over time but I'm a freshman in college now and I feel myself becoming more acutely aware of it. I feel like I'm regressing back to my childhood autistic traits and it's really helpful to have a channel like this to help me navigate it
Hi, I'm 40 years old and just got diagnose with autism. I got used to feel lonely over the years, not meaning lack of companion, but in the sense of not finding people similar to me. Your video checks a lot of my characteristic: the noise sensitivity, the overperformance and following meltdown, how useful a to do list is to me, how tiresome social activities are and so on. Is nice to have an explanation of why I am the way I am, your videos are a great source of information (I'm watching all of them). Regards
Drama class is a very good idea. I learned through trial and error, studying people and gauging their reactions while interacting with them. This has been successful, but also very awkward at times.
I think drama has helped me with using body language and studying other people. Unfortunately, real social situations don't follow a script and not everyone uses the same body language.
I now understand why I was so drawn to acting and theater as a kid. Not just because I like imagination and the escapism of fantasy; I was really trying to understand what other kids' emotions even were, by acting them out.
Pursue your passions is a huge one. A friend from my childhood would likely be the most accurate meteorologist in the world if he would have continued to hone those skills
Routine and planning just kill me. It only takes one small thing and it all just falls apart, but going with the flow makes it hard to be socailly accepted and hard in a work environment.
Im not on the spectrum,but i have sever and sometimes outright debilitating adult adhd that has many similarities in symptom expression as asd. your channel and videos have helped me even though they werent intended for me. Thank you.
Yeah, I am autistic, and there's incredible symptom overlap, with some people even suggesting they may be different aspects of one disorder or condition... Like if you struggle most with social skills, appropriate verbal and nonverbal social communication, and eye contact, it's autism but if you struggle the most with executive dysfunction and organizing your stuff, it's ADHD. I've noticed that everyone I develop a close bond with is one or the other, and I find it hard to interact with or understand NT people, but people with ADHD seem to "get" me the way that other autistic people also do. We both do things like hyperfocus on things we're interested in for long periods of time, and idk why what's called stimming if you're autistic, the same thing is called "fidgeting" if you have ADHD? lol it's the same behavior... I feel like psychology's understanding of these neurological conditions is still in its infancy in many ways. So who knows what connections between them we might discover in the future.
My parents revealed I had Aspergers Syndrome about a year ago now. Your videos really help me understand what it actually is and how I can cope with it.
Spend time to simply enjoy life, to appreciate being alive and the empathy of others. Treat yourself with respect, honor and compassion, empathize with yourself, and reward yourself. When you reward yourself, a satisfying dynamic is created where you put in some kind of work and reap some sort of benefit, no matter what either may be. Reflect on experiences you’ve had that have improved you as a person, and give them respect, carry them forward as beacons of hope and change. It’s easy to feel powerless over your own emotions, but if you can acknowledge how strong you actually are, you can work towards better understanding your own temperaments. Your video was extraordinarily helpful, Max! Thank you. I feel honored to share this empathy.
In my opinion, the greatest advantage I have are my parents. I got diagnosed quite early and they try to support me when they can. My only problem is that I often think that I often try to not bother them too much and they got stuff to do and so I sometimes try to hide my problems.
I've recently taken all the tests on "Embrace Autism" and they all indicate I'm autistic AF. I want a diagnosis, but it seems like it takes a year, and everywhere I look they only seem to be concerned with children. I'm also about to lose my high paying job that I worked for a decade to achieve, now I'm burned out and am likely going to be fired soon for not keeping up. I've only earned barely above minimum wage for most my career. I'm devastated.
My elementary school speech therapist just had us play d&d. Had a similar effect to the "drama class" tip in the video. You practice working with a group and having social interaction both without any real consequences. Also, it's fun!
Trying to justify my existence as a neurodivergent person has been excruciating. Neurotypicals just choose not to understand most of the time and chalk my behaviors up to laziness or weakness of character. I can't even begin to tell you how comforting it is to hear you speak on this as casually as you do. Not judging my difficulties with work and things like that, but acknowledging how hard it is for people like us. Thank you so much Max 🙏
i'm 28 and struggled a lot through life thinking that all the bad things happening to me were because i was a problematic person and 'wrong' i was recently diagnosed with HFASD and the things you talk about in your videos i've been trying and some things have helped. so thank you :)
i started watching your analysis videos a while back, I was highly impressed, intrigued and made the choice to subscribe. I was diagnosed on the spectrum , and searched the internet for videos about aspergers to understand what I have been dealing with blindly for 26 years, where I again found your videos, I want to thank you Max. Not only is your RUclips channel a stimulating experience , it is an informative one as well, I always feel good as your videos end, happy at their conclusion and content.
As someone who's not on the spectrum (AFAIK) I just want to say that I really appreciate your videos. I've had many friends with autism or Aspergers and I've always kept an open mind to their problems and tried to accomodate to their needs.
Drama class and putting on theater shows also helped me cope with pressures. It made me less afraid of putting myself out there om presentations in class for example. And even more importantly it taught me that I can deal with lack of energy.
While not on the spectrum myself, I do deal with generalized anxiety disorder, depression, and Visual Snow Syndrome (with tinnitus) so a lot of the tips you're suggesting here also help me, especially the white noise for focus and sleep.
My passion is writing and neurophilosophy, since weve been trapped in the house I feel as if I have driven my wife crazy with my constant questioning of perception vs reality and other things I've been looking for A good group of people to talk to but social media sucks
From personal experience, one thing that really help me is doing e-sports , more specifically a game in the fgc "fighting game community". this not only taught me how to deal with this but it also taught me how to do something in a quick manner and help with reaction time and muscle memory, but it also taught me how to deal with pressure and overcoming challenges. On my first smash tournament i remember physically shaking between matches but going to these more and more taught me how to deal with these issues and i found that gaming was just what i was good at.
You've been an absolutely fantastic tool helping with finding coping methods the last year Max! I was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome when I was about seven or eight, but my mom never told me. I only found out when I turned fifteen and moved in with my dad. I'm twenty one now, and still struggling but coming to better grips and working through eleven years of pent up anger and confusion.
Whenever i find myself lacking in something to do i normally default to creative writing or work on my next platinum trophy. Anything to prevent my brain from over analyzing just one thing over and over again.
I'm not on the spectrum but I have been doing many points said in here and I can said that they make wonders regardless of your condition. Good vid btw.
This is an amazing work! You have no idea, well, now you have an idea, of HOW Important this video is and how it's impacting my life! Thank you so much! I will take those advices close to my heart.
Thank you for your videos, Max. You are helping me and no doubt countless others dealing with the highs and lows of ASD and ADHD. Because of you, I am so much more hopeful these days. Please continue this series. I know it’s helped my family understand me better.
As an Autist, the game Death Stranding is a perfect metaphor for me to cope with. People I interact with (unknowingly) are like the BTs in the game. Each encounter is a dangerous and intensely horrifying, and you have to keep a lid on all of that. I even formed a mental 'Odradek' to help me sense better when these 'Danger Moments' are approaching, where I won't know what to say next and so on. I really like everything about it. The 'DOOMS' feels a lot like the autism itself, your skin crawls when around others, tears stream down your face like an allergic reaction. And you can never ever show someone what living that kind of life is like. You slide through the mud, fight your monsters, and live to see the sunrise. Thank you for your videos, Max!!!! 👍👍👍
Kinda off topic, but I love that you used Audrey Hepburn in 'My Fair Lady" and Sir Charles Spencer Chaplin in "Modern Times" in this video. Back on topic, lots of good info in this , keep it up.
0:45 I can really relate to some of those thoughts on the tv screens. Im often pessimistic about life and stuff, and I often feel overwhelmed about change, independence, and I'm currently going through an existential crisis. Im 23 and on the spectrum.
I often use different "colors" of noise (white, pink, brown) or Audiobooks to fall asleep. This in tandem with "Slumber-EZ", a product containing L-Trytophan + P5P + GABA + Magnesium, etc. (Lidtke Technologies is the source). For some reason, I don't do well with Melatonin. PLEASE be aware that if you are taking *any* form of antidepressant, you cannot take L-Tryptophan! I've found CBD oil in the 250 mg range to be very effective for general anxiety and 500 - 1000 mgs to be quite effective for alleviating pain such as headache or muscle aches and *really* inducing sleep (independent of the SLUMBER-EZ). Thank you for this video! Your channel is most inspiring! ❤🐯
Wait what, you work a part time job AND RUclips? I don't know if you still do, but man is it admirable with the load of quantity and quality you manage to release each week, kudos and thank you.
Having a pressure blanket calms me down the fastest when I am having a sensory overload or being anxious. Also headphones are a must! I can't tell you how many times I was grateful to have them just to block out noise.
This video needs a couple million more views... however in my case one thing that helped me was actually skipping breakfast and practicing 16/8 intermittent fasting. I break my fast with a protein and I don't fast on the weekends. But it's taken away my constant brain fog and helped me to function much better in the morning. However, it's NOT FOR EVERYONE. Some people literally get sick when they don't eat breakfast. Listen to your body and it will tell you what it needs.
If you’re looking for a white noise app, try Relax Melodies ($4 in the App Store) also, because I look like a kid despite being 25, people who don’t know me well come up to shake my hand, hug me, or if I’m in my wheelchair, pat my leg WITHOUT ASKING... how do I get them to respect my TOUCH ME? You DIE boundary because I HATE being touched and I HATE having ANYONE, even if I know them, any closer than an arm’s length away...(got some face masks to make myself look sick so I’m hoping that well work 🤞) Edit Sony brand WH1000M3 headphones are the best ones I’ve found noise canceling so good you don’t even need to turn them on to block sound you don’t even need sound plying! (BlueTooth but they also have a two jack connecter cord included and it’s at least 2 & 1/2 feet long) EDIT thanks for the 💙 Max
I feel like these are all things I learned to do in childhood / adolescence as absolute survival skills. I've never been diagnosed with ASD or Aspergers and think its very unlikely i currently present in a way that would merit a diagnosis. Sometimes I wonder if I do have Aspergers and just became so skilled at navigating the symptoms that i evaded a diagnosis to my own detriment.
I get the exhaustion. After one decent social interaction or a few smaller ones I'm done for the day. I also think that our brains are like children running around in a small room yelling about how they don't want to go home and the one adult trying to shout over top of them all.
My biggest tip? No IRL interactions with humans aside from cashiers if a necessary purchase cannot be made at a store with self-checkout. Does wonders!
Bad advice. While it is common for people with autism to be introverts, you need a support network to rely on. I can say from personal experience that limiting my interactions with others would have likely driven me to suicide. I need someone to help pull me out of a negative spiral when I end up in yet another one. Same applies for a lot of other people, especially when it comes to high functioning autism. That being said, alone time is absolutely mandatory. A few hours a day of interacting with others is more than enough. And a day without any interaction can make a world of difference too.
Pretty much the same method I use, completely destroy all ideas of a social life in exchange for the mental calmness and ability to "live", only downside is the cashier interactions like you said, works though. If you have the balls to embrace isolation, it's a good way of dealing
Im not diagnosed but Im starting to think I have autism. I don't really know if I want to get diagnosed. But this video does help me a lot, even if Im not autistic. You're doing God's work, man.
I was diagnosed on the spectrum as a young child, and have always been sensory sensitive. Ive since suppressed the idea and decided I was normal as I am socially confident and such, however I experience so many of the things in this video and often get frustrated as I don't know what to think and people don't seem to understand. Being almost always chaotic, self critical of lack of control, analytical, hyper interested in particular topics especially creative, artistic, and musical, and experiencing frustration and overstimulation. I hope to further be able to understand and become aware if who I am mentally.
I'm diagnosed as Autistic and as having ADHD. I start methylphenidate tomorrow. I've been out of university on voluntary temporary leave for months now and have been a complete mess since the first lockdown in the UK. I can't speak to my parents about my problems nor my friends, as they don't understand much and aren't very accepting. I think they believe that I'm being melodramatic, and that their problems dwarf mine. I've failed for whatever reason to identify what I love to do. I've certainly experienced hyper focus before, but rarely the productive kind. My university course and its subject matter has slowly, agonisingly, become negative for me. I do not believe I can be useful in the field of neuroscience. This all sounds very woe-is-me. But I don't really know what to do anymore. I'm just waiting for the day that I convince myself that I'm done. I don't see the medication helping much. I'm actually extremely reluctant to start it, because I know that if it quietens my mind I will very quickly become addicted. It just feels like I'm waiting to feel good. I've been in what feels like pain ranging from dull, faintly throbbing, to hot, roiling and paralytic and sharp. I'm really trying to hold on to my more pleasant behaviours. Or an absence of hostility, at least, but I can tell that my feeling horrible all the time for no outwardly apparent reason is turning me sour and angry. It's becoming very difficult to be around my family. I do all these things with the exception of routine, which I've found difficult to enact and sustain independently for as long as I can remember. I'm just so tired of being tired. I'm trying to be good. To not hate this and that. To stay objective and clear. But it's not going to last. I'm going to die. Whether it be literally or spiritually. Again, all very boohoo my life is terribly hard. Time maybe will be the solution. I'll probably go back to university in September and the meds will make living smoother. I just have to not swan dive from a rooftop before then. It just feels so stupid to be this way, because I have no tangible problems.
3:15 me and my boyfriend are aspies, and he swears by drama classes. According to him, he used to be "very awkward" until he started doing drama. "After you've had to change in front of 20 colleagues nothing is embarassing anymore"
Hopefully you haven't mentioned this in previous videos and I simply forgot were there 😅 *Create a safe space for yourself, both literally and figuratively.* Whether it's your room or an isolated hill somewhere, make that safe space a place where all you can recharge from the meltdowns and the sensory overload, where your happy thoughts gather and reside. Preferably, make this safe space easily accessible to you at nearly any time in the real world. If it's not accessible for any given reason, cherish the things you do in your safe space and the environment itself. Find peace, and oneness with that safe space; so much so that you could walk around in it blindfolded with little trouble. Why do this? Because it will, hopefully, bring you peace during the times your world is crashing down around you in your meltdowns. So that while you're away from your safe space, you can place yourself there in your mind. If you familiarize yourself with the place that brings you peace and joy to the point that you have a 360 degree view of it, you'll be momentarily transported to where you need to be to recharge. I never had a physical safe space to immerse myself in due to... home complications so I had to resort to becoming immersed in more abstract things like a video game or even friends and crushes. If your safe space is something abstract and isn't accessible to you 24/7, picture whatever it is in your mind, focus on every detail you can and just let the comfort it brings flow through you. The image of your abstract safe space is just as effective as familiarizing yourself with a physical place. I'm still learning how to keep myself calm in my safe space during meltdowns so it's definitely alot of work if you don't have a physical place to recharge in. Now if your safe space is someone close to you, contact them as much as you can (within reason, of course). Shoot them a message about your troubles, even if they're offline or not available to talk immediately. If you ever find yourself with friends who aren't truly trustworthy and either talk you down or abandon you, continue searching for someone worth your time. And being the social misfits of this world, I totally understand that making friends is... not exactly our strong suit as Aspies. Which is why fandoms are absolutely crucial, even despite the implied warning our brains shout at us. You know the one: SOCIALIZATION, EVADE NOW. The best part is that any fandom, can be embraced via the internet and social medias. So no unnecessary real-life socialization unless you want to! Even as intimidating (and toxic) as fandoms can be at times, finding one that gels with you and your interests is totally worth it. Whether it's a fandom centered around a franchise, celebrities, sport, etc, find something that your heart yearns to explore. Chances are you will find at least one person who will share that common interest, then get to know you, stick by you, and genuinely appreciate you for you; autistic quirks and all. Another related tip I have is a security blanket to bring with you wherever you go. Not even gonna lie, my security blanket throughout my high school years was a wolf plushie. I personally didn't care that people made fun of me, they just proved that they didn't know me and weren't worth my time. Now, I probably didn't think this at the time of it happening but I can tell you know that if I had to relive that all over again, I wouldn't care. I'd tell them exactly why I carry a plushie with me everywhere - to keep me calm and happy. And if they think that's childish and stupid, then they are just trying to insert needless negativity that my already overly pessimistic mind doesn't need. They didn't understand that I felt alone and needed a buddy with me to push through the day. If I wanted to have an imaginary friend, that was my business. They could have easily stepped in and tried to be a real friend to me so I didn't have to have pretend friends but that's okay, some really awesome people beat them to it 😉 That said, you can have a security blanket of your own, whether it's a keychain of your favorite character, a picture of your favorite celebrity, etc. Anything that will exude happiness in your mind when you look at it. This is especially helpful if you take that noise-cancelling headphones tip with music.
I have ADHD with some autistic traits (...but autism and ADHD have many overlapping symptoms anyway) and I can agree with almost everything you said and found this video helpful, thank you! :)
Thanks for sharing this, I've thoroughly enjoyed your game analysis videos and I now completely understand the depths of your research and detail oriented approach. I know someone very close to me who has similar traits to what you've described and exhibit yet they've never been officially diagnosed. Is it rude to suggest the possibility of being on the spectrum or AS so that they may look into it for an answer as to why they feel like they do in life and social situations?
Depends on the person - some people unfortunately throw the word autism around as an insult so it would depend on the sensitivity of character. Unfortunately the stigma around autism is still prevalent, so perhaps be careful how you word it, or perhaps help them by looking for ways around difficult situations. I have learned to cope by avoidance and knowing myself better but that wont work for everyone.
> It's ok to walk away sometimes This is an approach I've been trying to use on social media. If I, say, reply to a tweet correcting something false, and that person replies trying to start an argument I don't want to have, I (usually) reply before blocking immediately. If I don't feel like arguing, I don't feel like arguing. This has actively contributed to making sites like Twitter more fun to use and easier to socialize on, and has all around made it easier for me to spend more of my day not feeling like crap, and I have more emotional energy to allocate to my face-to-face interactions. Another thing that helps me personally is cannabis. For medicinal purposes, I prefer CBD vapour as certain strains can give you all the medicinal benefits without making you high. That said, THC from flower works wonders too, because sometimes a high is necessary to reset the anxiety meter.
I have significant autistic traits but wanting to stick to a routine isn't one of them. Being on a routine despite actually saving time usually makes me feel as if I have less of it.
I really liked the TV analogy. You could see the important things amongst the other thoughts, but only if you paused it. Then when you showed how you could focus better with dulling certain senses I was like, wow. It was a perfect way to describe how my brain works. Too much going on, and I just need a way to mute some of the channels. 😄 thank you.
Autists are better than normal, they have the ability to transcend petty concerns and contemplate the cosmos in meaningful ways. Coping should not be a priority. Their minds affect and influence the world so much, they need to be trying to figure out how to make the world accommodate them.
Hello, big thank's for your vidéo. I have the TDAH diagnostic and your advices are usefull for me too! Similares symptomes can exist in other TND! Sorry for my english. it's not my firt langage...
thats good. i am very good at finding patterns and analysing stuff. my orgnising and planning is very good. i am good with maintaining friendships. but at work its hell. i always get fired or not hired. its really hard for me to behave with friends in waz a, at work in way b, in my freetime in way c. i really try to understand social rules. and if i understand something then i dont know how to react. somwtimes you are supposed to signal bluntly that you got it, sometimes you need to ignore it but still change your behaviour somehow etc.
Watch this video, but ignore this diagnose. Everyone has issues. We all feel anxiety. We all have mental health issues. The difference is we get over it.
My problem with #3 is I'm really good with animals, but other than pet sitting which I've been able to do, idk if I could handle the stress and physical workload of other animal jobs. Zookeeper, vet tech, and dog groomer are all things I've thought of but think the physical demands of the job would simply leave me exhausted. I think I might like being a dog trainer, because I also have an interest in psychology.
I feel like if your watching this your leaning towards neurotic(literally most are!) or some very whittled down "spectrum symptoms" Cool posting and thoroughness of content!
hey man, i just found your channel from your 'the last guardian' video. i loved that video, and i have to say, these tips in this video are so excellent. new fan here
Instead of white noise I use a loop track of a U-Boat diesel engine running, a Pratt and Whitney R2800 radial, R1340 Radial, or a Continental C85. Try to incorporate a special interest into your background noise. Also, around ear headphones don't make your ears hurt by pressing in on them like on ear or removes too much ear wax like ear buds.
I recommend skipping breakfast and not eating for 6 hours before bedtime. I am never hungry in the morning. I was forced to eat breakfast all my childhood. The results were poor. Skipping breakfast works for me. I have also good results with a ketogennic diet - it alleviates mood swings. I heartily recommend intermittent fasting and keto (unless you have kidney or liver problems, no gallbladder, thyroid issues, diabetes type 1, ...).
I thought I was the only who thought about the TV one thanks max... some days are harder than others... I just feel like I'm playing on a harder difficulty than others
3:30 especially with a dark-triad personality boss that has immediately assigned autistics their go-to target for jokes at 1/6 of a second first glance
Instead of noise canceling headphones I use earphones, earmuffs and noise blockers (aka white noise). I don’t think I have autism at all but I relate a lot to this, thank you.
Im not diagnosed or anything but i have my suspicions. Max's videos are always worth though
Pekka.D is preaching the gospel here.
I also have my suspicions about myself and am also undiagnosed.
Same
Indeed 😊
I was diagnosed when I was 8 and I felt like I got less visibly autistic over time but I'm a freshman in college now and I feel myself becoming more acutely aware of it. I feel like I'm regressing back to my childhood autistic traits and it's really helpful to have a channel like this to help me navigate it
There is nothing more satisfying than a ten tips video that lasts exactly ten minutes. 😁
this video has been rounded to 9:59
Du du dum du du dum du du du du dum
Hi, I'm 40 years old and just got diagnose with autism. I got used to feel lonely over the years, not meaning lack of companion, but in the sense of not finding people similar to me. Your video checks a lot of my characteristic: the noise sensitivity, the overperformance and following meltdown, how useful a to do list is to me, how tiresome social activities are and so on.
Is nice to have an explanation of why I am the way I am, your videos are a great source of information (I'm watching all of them).
Regards
Thanks for leaving this comment. It makes me terribly glad to know that I was able to provide some clarity.
Drama class is a very good idea. I learned through trial and error, studying people and gauging their reactions while interacting with them. This has been successful, but also very awkward at times.
I think drama has helped me with using body language and studying other people. Unfortunately, real social situations don't follow a script and not everyone uses the same body language.
I now understand why I was so drawn to acting and theater as a kid. Not just because I like imagination and the escapism of fantasy; I was really trying to understand what other kids' emotions even were, by acting them out.
Pursue your passions is a huge one. A friend from my childhood would likely be the most accurate meteorologist in the world if he would have continued to hone those skills
As a high-functioning autistic myself the number one thing that really helped me out with video games in animes!
I am OBSESSED that you made 1 tip per minute. I am in love with you.
Perfect, no?
Routine and planning just kill me. It only takes one small thing and it all just falls apart, but going with the flow makes it hard to be socailly accepted and hard in a work environment.
Im not on the spectrum,but i have sever and sometimes outright debilitating adult adhd that has many similarities in symptom expression as asd. your channel and videos have helped me even though they werent intended for me. Thank you.
Yeah, I am autistic, and there's incredible symptom overlap, with some people even suggesting they may be different aspects of one disorder or condition... Like if you struggle most with social skills, appropriate verbal and nonverbal social communication, and eye contact, it's autism but if you struggle the most with executive dysfunction and organizing your stuff, it's ADHD. I've noticed that everyone I develop a close bond with is one or the other, and I find it hard to interact with or understand NT people, but people with ADHD seem to "get" me the way that other autistic people also do. We both do things like hyperfocus on things we're interested in for long periods of time, and idk why what's called stimming if you're autistic, the same thing is called "fidgeting" if you have ADHD? lol it's the same behavior... I feel like psychology's understanding of these neurological conditions is still in its infancy in many ways. So who knows what connections between them we might discover in the future.
Okay........you got me almost 95% convinced that I'm on the spectrum. This feels really freeing.
go get tested and get the help if you need it my dude
Definitely. Get that validated
Don't self diagnose and label. Have a professional do that.
@@lakkakka you gonna pay ?
@@phil2Fun4life nope. Its your issue not mine.
I bought some excellent oils from Weedborn. Just bing for Weedborn.
My parents revealed I had Aspergers Syndrome about a year ago now. Your videos really help me understand what it actually is and how I can cope with it.
Best pair of noise canceling Bluetooth headphones I’ve ever had are Sony’s WH - 1000 M3
also bose’s QC35|| are really good
Jbl club pro plus tws tried the white noise for a bit great therapy
well yeah those earphones are okay but have you heard of RAIDCON SHADOW VPN?
I got Sony WF-1000XM3! They are amazing!!
I got the soundcore Q45.
You can even make your own whitenoises and different stages of noiscancelling.
Spend time to simply enjoy life, to appreciate being alive and the empathy of others. Treat yourself with respect, honor and compassion, empathize with yourself, and reward yourself. When you reward yourself, a satisfying dynamic is created where you put in some kind of work and reap some sort of benefit, no matter what either may be. Reflect on experiences you’ve had that have improved you as a person, and give them respect, carry them forward as beacons of hope and change. It’s easy to feel powerless over your own emotions, but if you can acknowledge how strong you actually are, you can work towards better understanding your own temperaments. Your video was extraordinarily helpful, Max! Thank you. I feel honored to share this empathy.
7:51 Max: “I do it to RUclips videos”
Thank goodness I’m not the only one who does this to fall asleep.
BritishLocke350 try my “Relax” Playlist
I like looking at fanart before I go to sleep.
In my opinion, the greatest advantage I have are my parents. I got diagnosed quite early and they try to support me when they can. My only problem is that I often think that I often try to not bother them too much and they got stuff to do and so I sometimes try to hide my problems.
I've recently taken all the tests on "Embrace Autism" and they all indicate I'm autistic AF. I want a diagnosis, but it seems like it takes a year, and everywhere I look they only seem to be concerned with children. I'm also about to lose my high paying job that I worked for a decade to achieve, now I'm burned out and am likely going to be fired soon for not keeping up. I've only earned barely above minimum wage for most my career. I'm devastated.
My elementary school speech therapist just had us play d&d. Had a similar effect to the "drama class" tip in the video. You practice working with a group and having social interaction both without any real consequences. Also, it's fun!
Trying to justify my existence as a neurodivergent person has been excruciating. Neurotypicals just choose not to understand most of the time and chalk my behaviors up to laziness or weakness of character. I can't even begin to tell you how comforting it is to hear you speak on this as casually as you do. Not judging my difficulties with work and things like that, but acknowledging how hard it is for people like us.
Thank you so much Max 🙏
i'm 28 and struggled a lot through life thinking that all the bad things happening to me were because i was a problematic person and 'wrong' i was recently diagnosed with HFASD and the things you talk about in your videos i've been trying and some things have helped. so thank you :)
Congratulations on hitting 45k
Thanks, mate!
CBD oil has helped me a lot too
Omg that screen analogy right off the mark was bang on, got a feelin i’ll be commenting again before the end of the video
i started watching your analysis videos a while back, I was highly impressed, intrigued and made the choice to subscribe.
I was diagnosed on the spectrum , and searched the internet for videos about aspergers to understand what I have been dealing with blindly for 26 years, where I again found your videos, I want to thank you Max.
Not only is your RUclips channel a stimulating experience , it is an informative one as well,
I always feel good as your videos end, happy at their conclusion and content.
As someone who's not on the spectrum (AFAIK) I just want to say that I really appreciate your videos. I've had many friends with autism or Aspergers and I've always kept an open mind to their problems and tried to accomodate to their needs.
Drama class and putting on theater shows also helped me cope with pressures. It made me less afraid of putting myself out there om presentations in class for example.
And even more importantly it taught me that I can deal with lack of energy.
While not on the spectrum myself, I do deal with generalized anxiety disorder, depression, and Visual Snow Syndrome (with tinnitus) so a lot of the tips you're suggesting here also help me, especially the white noise for focus and sleep.
I have problems whit intense light but i noticed that staying in the dark is very relaxing even though moderate light does not disturb me
I'm on the spectrum and noise canceling headphones have been a lifesaver. I cannot stress how much they have helped me.
My passion is writing and neurophilosophy, since weve been trapped in the house I feel as if I have driven my wife crazy with my constant questioning of perception vs reality and other things I've been looking for A good group of people to talk to but social media sucks
What's funny is that one of my special interests, Wings of Fire, helped me with social strategies. Book 6 is now my favorite book.
Thank you for putting my struggles into words. I cannot express how much this means to me.
From personal experience, one thing that really help me is doing e-sports , more specifically a game in the fgc "fighting game community". this not only taught me how to deal with this but it also taught me how to do something in a quick manner and help with reaction time and muscle memory, but it also taught me how to deal with pressure and overcoming challenges. On my first smash tournament i remember physically shaking between matches but going to these more and more taught me how to deal with these issues and i found that gaming was just what i was good at.
You've been an absolutely fantastic tool helping with finding coping methods the last year Max! I was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome when I was about seven or eight, but my mom never told me. I only found out when I turned fifteen and moved in with my dad. I'm twenty one now, and still struggling but coming to better grips and working through eleven years of pent up anger and confusion.
Whenever i find myself lacking in something to do i normally default to creative writing or work on my next platinum trophy. Anything to prevent my brain from over analyzing just one thing over and over again.
I'm not on the spectrum but I have been doing many points said in here and I can said that they make wonders regardless of your condition. Good vid btw.
This is an amazing work!
You have no idea, well, now you have an idea, of HOW Important this video is and how it's impacting my life!
Thank you so much! I will take those advices close to my heart.
Thank you for your videos, Max. You are helping me and no doubt countless others dealing with the highs and lows of ASD and ADHD. Because of you, I am so much more hopeful these days. Please continue this series. I know it’s helped my family understand me better.
As an Autist, the game Death Stranding is a perfect metaphor for me to cope with. People I interact with (unknowingly) are like the BTs in the game. Each encounter is a dangerous and intensely horrifying, and you have to keep a lid on all of that. I even formed a mental 'Odradek' to help me sense better when these 'Danger Moments' are approaching, where I won't know what to say next and so on. I really like everything about it. The 'DOOMS' feels a lot like the autism itself, your skin crawls when around others, tears stream down your face like an allergic reaction. And you can never ever show someone what living that kind of life is like. You slide through the mud, fight your monsters, and live to see the sunrise. Thank you for your videos, Max!!!! 👍👍👍
Kinda off topic, but I love that you used Audrey Hepburn in 'My Fair Lady" and Sir Charles Spencer Chaplin in "Modern Times" in this video. Back on topic, lots of good info in this , keep it up.
0:45 I can really relate to some of those thoughts on the tv screens. Im often pessimistic about life and stuff, and I often feel overwhelmed about change, independence, and I'm currently going through an existential crisis. Im 23 and on the spectrum.
I often use different "colors" of noise (white, pink, brown) or Audiobooks to fall asleep. This in tandem with "Slumber-EZ", a product containing L-Trytophan + P5P + GABA + Magnesium, etc. (Lidtke Technologies is the source). For some reason, I don't do well with Melatonin.
PLEASE be aware that if you are taking *any* form of antidepressant, you cannot take L-Tryptophan! I've found CBD oil in the 250 mg range to be very effective for general anxiety and 500 - 1000 mgs to be quite effective for alleviating pain such as headache or muscle aches and *really* inducing sleep (independent of the SLUMBER-EZ). Thank you for this video! Your channel is most inspiring! ❤🐯
I have a more mild aspergers and the first example accurately depicts what my insomnia feels like.
After watching this, I think I might start taking Drama classes to help with my Autistic Awkwardness
You talk about autism with so much freedom. With me it's like a gross secret
It was an unspoken rule in my family since it was seen as karmic punishment.
.... Silent Hill ambience for getting to sleep? Hehe that sounds like nightmare fuel :O
I gave narrow focus to my interest. It didn't pan out. Now I'm a burden on my family. They hate me.
Wait what, you work a part time job AND RUclips? I don't know if you still do, but man is it admirable with the load of quantity and quality you manage to release each week, kudos and thank you.
Having a pressure blanket calms me down the fastest when I am having a sensory overload or being anxious. Also headphones are a must! I can't tell you how many times I was grateful to have them just to block out noise.
This video needs a couple million more views... however in my case one thing that helped me was actually skipping breakfast and practicing 16/8 intermittent fasting. I break my fast with a protein and I don't fast on the weekends. But it's taken away my constant brain fog and helped me to function much better in the morning. However, it's NOT FOR EVERYONE. Some people literally get sick when they don't eat breakfast. Listen to your body and it will tell you what it needs.
If you’re looking for a white noise app, try Relax Melodies ($4 in the App Store) also, because I look like a kid despite being 25, people who don’t know me well come up to shake my hand, hug me, or if I’m in my wheelchair, pat my leg WITHOUT ASKING... how do I get them to respect my TOUCH ME? You DIE boundary because I HATE being touched and I HATE having ANYONE, even if I know them, any closer than an arm’s length away...(got some face masks to make myself look sick so I’m hoping that well work 🤞) Edit Sony brand WH1000M3 headphones are the best ones I’ve found noise canceling so good you don’t even need to turn them on to block sound you don’t even need sound plying! (BlueTooth but they also have a two jack connecter cord included and it’s at least 2 & 1/2 feet long) EDIT thanks for the 💙 Max
I feel like these are all things I learned to do in childhood / adolescence as absolute survival skills. I've never been diagnosed with ASD or Aspergers and think its very unlikely i currently present in a way that would merit a diagnosis. Sometimes I wonder if I do have Aspergers and just became so skilled at navigating the symptoms that i evaded a diagnosis to my own detriment.
I get the exhaustion. After one decent social interaction or a few smaller ones I'm done for the day. I also think that our brains are like children running around in a small room yelling about how they don't want to go home and the one adult trying to shout over top of them all.
Late to this video, but my advice would be to exercise regularly. It’s done wonders for my depression/asd/social skills. Completely changed my life.
My biggest tip? No IRL interactions with humans aside from cashiers if a necessary purchase cannot be made at a store with self-checkout. Does wonders!
Agreed. Can't believe how much energy that used to take from me...
I get depressed after awhile if I don't have some sort of human interaction. At the same time I find most people annoyingly simple.
Bad advice. While it is common for people with autism to be introverts, you need a support network to rely on. I can say from personal experience that limiting my interactions with others would have likely driven me to suicide. I need someone to help pull me out of a negative spiral when I end up in yet another one. Same applies for a lot of other people, especially when it comes to high functioning autism.
That being said, alone time is absolutely mandatory. A few hours a day of interacting with others is more than enough. And a day without any interaction can make a world of difference too.
Sometimes this is good, sometimes it's bad. Try discord if you ever need to talk.
Pretty much the same method I use, completely destroy all ideas of a social life in exchange for the mental calmness and ability to "live", only downside is the cashier interactions like you said, works though. If you have the balls to embrace isolation, it's a good way of dealing
Im not diagnosed but Im starting to think I have autism. I don't really know if I want to get diagnosed. But this video does help me a lot, even if Im not autistic. You're doing God's work, man.
Melatonin has helped me so much I can't even explain it to people.
I haven't seen this video yet, but I very much, VERy much appreciate the perfect 10 minute mark.
He is right.
The part about the TVs is what kinda happens to me during a sensory overload.
Okay so my tip: Whatever you do, develop caution for unhealthy coping mechanisms. Drugs is a common one.
I was diagnosed on the spectrum as a young child, and have always been sensory sensitive. Ive since suppressed the idea and decided I was normal as I am socially confident and such, however I experience so many of the things in this video and often get frustrated as I don't know what to think and people don't seem to understand. Being almost always chaotic, self critical of lack of control, analytical, hyper interested in particular topics especially creative, artistic, and musical, and experiencing frustration and overstimulation. I hope to further be able to understand and become aware if who I am mentally.
I'm diagnosed as Autistic and as having ADHD. I start methylphenidate tomorrow. I've been out of university on voluntary temporary leave for months now and have been a complete mess since the first lockdown in the UK. I can't speak to my parents about my problems nor my friends, as they don't understand much and aren't very accepting. I think they believe that I'm being melodramatic, and that their problems dwarf mine. I've failed for whatever reason to identify what I love to do. I've certainly experienced hyper focus before, but rarely the productive kind. My university course and its subject matter has slowly, agonisingly, become negative for me. I do not believe I can be useful in the field of neuroscience.
This all sounds very woe-is-me. But I don't really know what to do anymore. I'm just waiting for the day that I convince myself that I'm done. I don't see the medication helping much. I'm actually extremely reluctant to start it, because I know that if it quietens my mind I will very quickly become addicted. It just feels like I'm waiting to feel good. I've been in what feels like pain ranging from dull, faintly throbbing, to hot, roiling and paralytic and sharp. I'm really trying to hold on to my more pleasant behaviours. Or an absence of hostility, at least, but I can tell that my feeling horrible all the time for no outwardly apparent reason is turning me sour and angry. It's becoming very difficult to be around my family.
I do all these things with the exception of routine, which I've found difficult to enact and sustain independently for as long as I can remember. I'm just so tired of being tired. I'm trying to be good. To not hate this and that. To stay objective and clear. But it's not going to last. I'm going to die. Whether it be literally or spiritually.
Again, all very boohoo my life is terribly hard. Time maybe will be the solution. I'll probably go back to university in September and the meds will make living smoother. I just have to not swan dive from a rooftop before then. It just feels so stupid to be this way, because I have no tangible problems.
3:15 me and my boyfriend are aspies, and he swears by drama classes. According to him, he used to be "very awkward" until he started doing drama. "After you've had to change in front of 20 colleagues nothing is embarassing anymore"
Hopefully you haven't mentioned this in previous videos and I simply forgot were there 😅
*Create a safe space for yourself, both literally and figuratively.*
Whether it's your room or an isolated hill somewhere, make that safe space a place where all you can recharge from the meltdowns and the sensory overload, where your happy thoughts gather and reside. Preferably, make this safe space easily accessible to you at nearly any time in the real world. If it's not accessible for any given reason, cherish the things you do in your safe space and the environment itself. Find peace, and oneness with that safe space; so much so that you could walk around in it blindfolded with little trouble. Why do this? Because it will, hopefully, bring you peace during the times your world is crashing down around you in your meltdowns. So that while you're away from your safe space, you can place yourself there in your mind. If you familiarize yourself with the place that brings you peace and joy to the point that you have a 360 degree view of it, you'll be momentarily transported to where you need to be to recharge. I never had a physical safe space to immerse myself in due to... home complications so I had to resort to becoming immersed in more abstract things like a video game or even friends and crushes. If your safe space is something abstract and isn't accessible to you 24/7, picture whatever it is in your mind, focus on every detail you can and just let the comfort it brings flow through you. The image of your abstract safe space is just as effective as familiarizing yourself with a physical place. I'm still learning how to keep myself calm in my safe space during meltdowns so it's definitely alot of work if you don't have a physical place to recharge in.
Now if your safe space is someone close to you, contact them as much as you can (within reason, of course). Shoot them a message about your troubles, even if they're offline or not available to talk immediately. If you ever find yourself with friends who aren't truly trustworthy and either talk you down or abandon you, continue searching for someone worth your time. And being the social misfits of this world, I totally understand that making friends is... not exactly our strong suit as Aspies. Which is why fandoms are absolutely crucial, even despite the implied warning our brains shout at us. You know the one: SOCIALIZATION, EVADE NOW. The best part is that any fandom, can be embraced via the internet and social medias. So no unnecessary real-life socialization unless you want to! Even as intimidating (and toxic) as fandoms can be at times, finding one that gels with you and your interests is totally worth it. Whether it's a fandom centered around a franchise, celebrities, sport, etc, find something that your heart yearns to explore. Chances are you will find at least one person who will share that common interest, then get to know you, stick by you, and genuinely appreciate you for you; autistic quirks and all.
Another related tip I have is a security blanket to bring with you wherever you go. Not even gonna lie, my security blanket throughout my high school years was a wolf plushie. I personally didn't care that people made fun of me, they just proved that they didn't know me and weren't worth my time. Now, I probably didn't think this at the time of it happening but I can tell you know that if I had to relive that all over again, I wouldn't care. I'd tell them exactly why I carry a plushie with me everywhere - to keep me calm and happy. And if they think that's childish and stupid, then they are just trying to insert needless negativity that my already overly pessimistic mind doesn't need. They didn't understand that I felt alone and needed a buddy with me to push through the day. If I wanted to have an imaginary friend, that was my business. They could have easily stepped in and tried to be a real friend to me so I didn't have to have pretend friends but that's okay, some really awesome people beat them to it 😉 That said, you can have a security blanket of your own, whether it's a keychain of your favorite character, a picture of your favorite celebrity, etc. Anything that will exude happiness in your mind when you look at it. This is especially helpful if you take that noise-cancelling headphones tip with music.
RoseOfTheNight4444 my safe space is the books of fan fiction I write... (up to 90) (NOT A TYPO I MEANT 90)
@@emeraldqueen1994 Ah, yes... worldbuilding is a glorious way to escape.
I have ADHD with some autistic traits (...but autism and ADHD have many overlapping symptoms anyway) and I can agree with almost everything you said and found this video helpful, thank you! :)
Thank you. Your videos are really helpful. Thank goodness for those who share knowledge to help others.
Thanks for sharing this, I've thoroughly enjoyed your game analysis videos and I now completely understand the depths of your research and detail oriented approach. I know someone very close to me who has similar traits to what you've described and exhibit yet they've never been officially diagnosed. Is it rude to suggest the possibility of being on the spectrum or AS so that they may look into it for an answer as to why they feel like they do in life and social situations?
Depends on the person - some people unfortunately throw the word autism around as an insult so it would depend on the sensitivity of character. Unfortunately the stigma around autism is still prevalent, so perhaps be careful how you word it, or perhaps help them by looking for ways around difficult situations. I have learned to cope by avoidance and knowing myself better but that wont work for everyone.
> It's ok to walk away sometimes
This is an approach I've been trying to use on social media. If I, say, reply to a tweet correcting something false, and that person replies trying to start an argument I don't want to have, I (usually) reply before blocking immediately. If I don't feel like arguing, I don't feel like arguing. This has actively contributed to making sites like Twitter more fun to use and easier to socialize on, and has all around made it easier for me to spend more of my day not feeling like crap, and I have more emotional energy to allocate to my face-to-face interactions.
Another thing that helps me personally is cannabis. For medicinal purposes, I prefer CBD vapour as certain strains can give you all the medicinal benefits without making you high. That said, THC from flower works wonders too, because sometimes a high is necessary to reset the anxiety meter.
I have significant autistic traits but wanting to stick to a routine isn't one of them. Being on a routine despite actually saving time usually makes me feel as if I have less of it.
I really liked the TV analogy. You could see the important things amongst the other thoughts, but only if you paused it. Then when you showed how you could focus better with dulling certain senses I was like, wow. It was a perfect way to describe how my brain works. Too much going on, and I just need a way to mute some of the channels. 😄 thank you.
Autists are better than normal, they have the ability to transcend petty concerns and contemplate the cosmos in meaningful ways. Coping should not be a priority. Their minds affect and influence the world so much, they need to be trying to figure out how to make the world accommodate them.
For whitenoise like music i go with lofi, i listen to it to sleep and ive found its the only thing that works for me.
Hello, big thank's for your vidéo. I have the TDAH diagnostic and your advices are usefull for me too! Similares symptomes can exist in other TND! Sorry for my english. it's not my firt langage...
thats good. i am very good at finding patterns and analysing stuff. my orgnising and planning is very good. i am good with maintaining friendships. but at work its hell. i always get fired or not hired. its really hard for me to behave with friends in waz a, at work in way b, in my freetime in way c. i really try to understand social rules. and if i understand something then i dont know how to react. somwtimes you are supposed to signal bluntly that you got it, sometimes you need to ignore it but still change your behaviour somehow etc.
the points why someone should use routine opened my eyes. i never thought that way
Watch this video, but ignore this diagnose. Everyone has issues. We all feel anxiety. We all have mental health issues. The difference is we get over it.
Omg this video is awsome. This is so acurate and well comunicated. Btw, awsome choise of BGM!
The grumpy guy holding the white balloon is what my only braincell feels like 😂
- Noise-canceling headphones
- UV-protective sunglasses
- A pack of paracetamol
- The Assertiveness Workbook
- A communications coach
- Magnesium and Omega 3/6 supplements
- B12 and folic acid check/specialist for treatment
- Meditation/yoga
- NLP
- Bullet Journal
- Stim toys
My problem with #3 is I'm really good with animals, but other than pet sitting which I've been able to do, idk if I could handle the stress and physical workload of other animal jobs. Zookeeper, vet tech, and dog groomer are all things I've thought of but think the physical demands of the job would simply leave me exhausted. I think I might like being a dog trainer, because I also have an interest in psychology.
I feel like if your watching this your leaning towards neurotic(literally most are!) or some very whittled down "spectrum symptoms"
Cool posting and thoroughness of content!
Well said!
Kratom, Phenibut, Lemon Balm, St. John's Wort, Fish oil, chewing gum, green tea, and coffee to name a few.
Jester2415 if you’re stressed, try a nice chamomile tea or lavender
Silent Hill ambience... lmfaoooo max why x'D ♥ awesome.
Thank you!
hey man, i just found your channel from your 'the last guardian' video. i loved that video, and i have to say, these tips in this video are so excellent. new fan here
Having a therapist helps me very much.
Instead of white noise I use a loop track of a U-Boat diesel engine running, a Pratt and Whitney R2800 radial, R1340 Radial, or a Continental C85. Try to incorporate a special interest into your background noise. Also, around ear headphones don't make your ears hurt by pressing in on them like on ear or removes too much ear wax like ear buds.
That TV analogy is my entire life.
I recommend skipping breakfast and not eating for 6 hours before bedtime. I am never hungry in the morning. I was forced to eat breakfast all my childhood. The results were poor. Skipping breakfast works for me. I have also good results with a ketogennic diet - it alleviates mood swings. I heartily recommend intermittent fasting and keto (unless you have kidney or liver problems, no gallbladder, thyroid issues, diabetes type 1, ...).
I have some Sony WH-1000XM4 epic noise cancelling headphones - life changing
Thank you, man.
Truly :)
Thank YOU for watching!
I thought I was the only who thought about the TV one thanks max... some days are harder than others... I just feel like I'm playing on a harder difficulty than others
3:30 especially with a dark-triad personality boss that has immediately assigned autistics their go-to target for jokes at 1/6 of a second first glance
Mate these videos are the best
Just watch out when you cross the street. With that white noise canceling headphones. lol
Instead of noise canceling headphones I use earphones, earmuffs and noise blockers (aka white noise). I don’t think I have autism at all but I relate a lot to this, thank you.
thank you!
Thanks you did more in a video than 2 years with a supose asperger psicologist