Tamar seduces Judah by pretending to be a sex worker. She does that by COVERING HERSELF UP. So which way of dressing is more naughty? Hmm? Perhaps it’s based on context, or it’s NOT RELEVANT?! These people have never read the Bible. So few people have.
She also seems to be going down the "random people are dangerous" route, and while they can be; the majority of SA's are commited by someone the victim knows.
"Curfew for 20+" Boi, my mother is 60 years old and told me abiut how when she last visited my grandma, she was out with a few friends for dinner and my grandma started calling around EVERYONE she knew at 9pm about where she was and how she needed to come home. So my mom got a text from my uncle at around 9:15 like "Mom's going crazy again" Fast forward two months later, I visit grandma with my mom, mom goes out to meet friends, I stay with grandma and she DOES IT AGAIN. I kid you not! An 80 years old woman tried to lecture me about how her 60 years old daughter has to be home at 9pm "because she has to get up again tomorrow" Mam. It's 9pm. My mom is 60. Coffee exists.
As a fun reminder to anyone worried about inspiring immodest thoughts in others by their dress, just remember that jesus, when asked by someone to tell some sexy looking women to cover up so he'd stop having impure thoughts, told the man to pluck his eyes out and stop looking at them. We are the only ones responsible for our own behaviors/thoughts. If someone is dressed very provocatively, you always have the option of not staring.
Edit because RUclips won't let me edit my comments right now, the general idea Jesus was trying to get across was that other people tempting you is not an excuse to sin, and that it's better to go into heaven with a few parts missing rather than being fully intact and getting sent to hell. I've also seen that interpreted as "nothing is worth going to hell for". Also I goofed in that I don't think he wasn't talking to a specific dude, but rather speaking on general principle. Still very enjoyable
@@Fischohnerad17 Should have expected it to be Matthew. 7:1-4 is one I always use on arguments with christians. I'll make sure to paste it into my notes! Much appreciated, dude!
It's a good argument in practice. Put the shame back where in belongs. Tho technically, the bible is very clear that god is responsible both the good and the evil in the world, including our "impure thoughts". It goes like this: He knows everything, he can see the future, and made us all specifically to live out that future. He has the power to change it, but chooses not to. He always knew that we'd end up as sinners and degenerates (or as babies with cancer or child r*pe slaves, take your pick) and then created us to be those things, and to be tortured in hell, as a "lesson" to the people he created knowing they'd worship him, with or without the unnecessary "lesson" of our eternal torment and misery. tl:dr, god is a narcissist and psychopath.
There is literally a travelling exhibition showing what victims of sexual assault were wearing. The outfits range from children's clothing (yikes) across dresses, swimwear, to A MILITARY UNIFORM INCLUDING A GUN.
"Without God, people have unhealthy mindsets." With God, people still have unhealthy mindsets. Sometimes they gain unhealthy mindsets as they find God. Thinking that you're responsible for other people's sins is an example of an unhealthy mindset that people adopt as they get interested in God.
Fr. I don’t understand how people can be like that. I mean, there’s nothing wrong with being religious, but I feel like sometimes they’re far too consumed by their beliefs.
I'm religious, but religion today is dominated by unhealthy mindsets and ugly ideologies. A person needs to carefully weed the garden of their mind to remain sane, and being religious doesn't eliminate that need.
She'd probably then claim that they probably were saying or doing something to provoke the perpetrator instead and that they would have been completely fine and safe if they hadn't behaved in this manner.
@@Grey_Warden_InvasionSome of the outfits are just diapers. But she probably wouldn’t believe it. She’d benefit from news clips reporting on toddlers and even infants dying from getting SA’d. My stomach hurts just typing this out.
@@phoenixgirl70yeah sadly a lot of people even think infants and toddlers act in “provocative” ways. It’s disgusting and anyone who thinks a literal baby is acting in a way to deserve being assaulted needs therapy almost as much as the person who assaulted the child. It’s a baby. My mother told me as a child that wearing a bikini was provoking to men. Disgusting and vile behavior.
Clicky completely missed out on his 5th bingo. The Curfew story completely qualifies as threatening housing too. If op wasn't gonna go home, they'd be kicked out. That would have completed the top row.
Yes to this comment! Would've had another bingo with the threatening housing square. It was driving me crazy that it didn't get punched on the bingo card
3:09 I HATE when people try to use creeps as an argument to dress modestly because IT. DOESNT. FRICKING. WORK. If someone wants to be a creep, they're going to do so regardless of what you're wearing or doing. My ex was a massive creep, I could be wearing the most modest thing I could find and he would ALWAYS find a way to be creepy about it. Like Jesus Fricking Christ stop staring at my chest in a selfie of me holding my elderly cat. My mom was the type of person who tried to make me dress modest to protect me, but at the same time wouldn't let me take a wrestling class because it was "too violent". Mother, capris won't stop creeps, BEING ABLE TO YEET THEM INTO THE F*CKING CONCRETE WILL.
This is partially why I want to learn how to take firearm classes and carry a concealed firearm. Self defense is so important. I'd also love to take a self-defense class if that exists
Just saw an article about three students that got suspended for writing a document categorized categorize the female students into categories from top to bottom as “wifeys”, “cuties”, “mid”, “object”, “get out” and lastly “unra....able”. They got caught cause it was found online.
The predatory people have NEVER cared about what the other person was wearing. Telling someone to dress 'modestly' (whatever that means) doesn't help anyone on that front.
I've seen a small exhibit of what people were wearing when they went through IT. Literally jeans and T-Shirts. Sweatpants and jackets. Normal, covered clothing. It's not the fur of the bunny; it's the wolf's desire to hunt and kill.
Plus some people actually sexualize the act of dressing modestly (i.e. purity virgin stuff). In fact, wasn’t there a study where scientist found men’s brains were more active when seeing women dressed in suits and full clothing over women dressed in bikinis?
@@Elipsyclips there was a diaper too... pretty sure the exhibits ages go from a literal one year old infant to a 60 year old elderly woman. honestly, it makes me want to cry. this is a truth we can't look away from. EVERY person who is ignorant about sexual assault needs to put in the effort to learn and grow.
Just a friendly reminder what you wear has never been the problem. Anyone who blames it on people showing too much skin as the reason for bad stuff needs to be reminded that sort of thing was happening in like Victorian times when people were covered head to toe in many layers. It's not the clothes it's the purportators. Also you are not responsible for someone else's feelings. If you want to dress in a way you feel good, do it. It doesn't matter if you are super Ace and would not touch a person with a ten foot pole in an intimate way. Just cause you dress in a specific way doesn't mean you owe anyone anything. Be in the clothes that make you feel good and dress for yourself first. It is such a confidence boost to love what you put on.
This also still happens to women in the current day in the middle east. It happens in countries where the only skin an unwed woman shows is around her eyeballs. Where their clothes are baggy and hide all shapes and curves. It's never about the clothes.
You know those hat pins that they needed to keep their hats in place, long sharp ones were popular, the longer and sharper the better for self defence. Then they suddenly needed laws to prevent women from having them be too long and sharp because creeps didn’t like the consequences of their actions. Politicians certainly aren’t immune to being creeps and outlawing self defence for women, but no, it’s feminism that makes men feel entitled to touch and more because now women don’t dress modest anymore 🤦
Absolutely. Women in covered head to toe, where only their eyes are visible, still get assaulted. People with bad intentions will sexualise others just as much whether you show skin or not. I once heard a guy say that he likes seeing women wearing burkas and niqabs because it allows him to imagine whats underneath, it doesn't matter how covered or not you are.
With the "need laptop for work training one" Call your workplace, preferably the HR department, say the workplace training wasn't working on your phone, and your laptop is currently being repaired (or tell them something more truthful, depending on how well you know them). Ask if you can complete the training on a computer at work that day or the next. They might not be understanding or accommodating, but it is infinitely better to have made the call and let them know theres an issue you are trying to resolve than not make the call and just fail to complete the task without any explanation. Best case scenario they say "yeah, come in tomorrow, get it done and it'll be grand", worst case scenario they'll say "not our problem. Get the training done by tomorrow or you'll be out of a job", which you knew already.
If you are relatively young (as in under, like, 60) you are going to be sexualized by strangers in public. Especially if you're fem presenting (though it happens to lots and lots of masc and androgynous presenting people of course!). I could literally wear a floor length potato sack in public and some people would still do this. There's no way to avoid it other than becoming an agoraphobe, so the best solution is to wear what you like, and not give a shit what other people think about you. If someone decides to be gross and creepy, that's definitely their problem!
Over 60s get it too! My mum is in her mid 60s and she's nice looking and has a large bust, she has had at least 5 weirdo men approach her and say/do creepy things that made her very uncomfortable in the last couple of years. These men were aged anywhere between their 30s and late 60s. Mature women get that shite as well unfortunately.
If the "police have told them four times" then the next time the police effectively do nothing, file a complaint with as many police oversight organisations as possible, also then talk to a free legal advice service (every lawyers office will help set you in the right direction for free). You may find unfortunately that you have to step away from these people who are trying to control you, but that's the price of growing out from that kind of interference.
Yep. I didn't know that it was normal till I was a teen because I don't burp, but I still never said anything to anyone unless it was obvious they were making themselves burp on purpose to be annoying. No seriously, I don't burp, it's a medical condition, a muscle in the back of my throat doesn't work right.
@@Roadent1241 kinda? But my throat literally doesn't work right so the muscle that is supposed to relax to let the air out doesn't and it just gets very uncomfortable and can make me nauseous. It's not a condition I would wish on anyone, it can get to the point where the only way to get the air out is to kinda "throw up" the air. The air usually eventually gets out after some uncomfortable time. I'd prefer to be able to burp.
I was thinking about that when I heard that one. It was something I didn't even know existed until a few weeks ago and it was heart wrenching and disgusting to learn about. There's not enough adjectives to describe how horrible it is thinking about what those victims went through. There were also children's clothing which made it even more terrifying and heartbreaking.
@@MalindaDavis-rl6fs To disprove the claim that women and girls ask to be abused with their attire. “Nobody wants to think about this stuff” Are you sure you’re not projecting, buddy? Or should we keep an eye on you? 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
@@MalindaDavis-rl6fsit NEEDS to exist. There are so many people that still ask survivors what were you wearing or blaming their SA on heavy makeup or tattoos or hair color... It's meant to emphasize that the victim blaming is straight up incorrect and hurtful. There is no "modest" way to dress that keeps you safe when there are literally huge, baggy hoodies and sweatpants, footie PJs, hospital gowns, baby onesies, fairy princess dresses, bathing suits, police uniforms It's getting a crucial point across. What happened was NOT your fault and people should blame the assailant not their target. I have literally had times where someone commented on things saying stuff like "they dress like/do this and then act surprised when they're attacked" and I just replied with the link showcasing that exhibit
@@MalindaDavis-rl6fsIt's good to have because everyone always blames SA and r//e on what the person in question was wearing. The amount of times I've seen people blame specifically women for their trauma because they wore a pair of shorts once is horrific. But that museum brings light to the fact that no, it doesn't at all matter what you wear. Children's onesies and pajamas are displayed in that museum. Baggy clothes are displayed. The clothes you wear doesn't stop a creep from being a creep, and that's something people need to be able to learn.
No empanadas? I audibly gasped my best friend in middle school was half Venezuelan, and that is truly unfortunate, but also she doesn’t deserve empanadas! (mention of the edit: I forgot it was middle school not high school High school was boring as fuck; I didn’t go to homecoming or prom because we didn’t have one because I moved to a new town and then went to an alternative school lmao)
Those people will say the worst shit about immigrants (particularly non white ones, you never hear complaints about the French moving in) but still want their food. Have fun trying to get delicious authentic enchiladas when you kick out all the people who make them
The irony in the mother misunderstanding what their child wants to happen to their relationship, when they literally are asking to have an in-person meeting to avoid miscommunications like this.
Actually that laptop story reminds me of something. Once at a restaurant, I went to the bathroom (men's bathroom bc I'm ftm) and my stepdad followed me without me knowing, demanded I get out, then threatened to take and smash my phone. My phone is my property that i as an adult paid for, so obviously I didn't let him do that. He forcefully wrenched it from my hands, I called the police with the restaurant phone and they got it back, but they also told me that no crime was committed because i live with them... Fucking excuse me?? I'm an adult and he took and threatened my property, how is that not a crime???
Hmmm I live in France and I think here we have an exception where theft can't be prosecuted if it's between spouses or close family. There are a few items this doesn't apply to though, including phones Idk if there are laws like that in the US though, maybe the cops just don't wanna get involved in family bs idk
My dad bought me a laptop when I was 16. At no point between ages 16 and 18 did my mom ever take my laptop from me and refuse to give it back when I needed it. In fact, I once had to pay for repairs using my part time job. The minute that happened (at 17), she never took it as punishment again. Why? She said “well you paid to fix it. It’s yours. I do not reserve the right to take shit you own. Why do you think I stopped taking your books when you were in your mid teens and bought them with your own allowance?” This is the same mom who, when I turned 18, sat me down to discuss the rules, how they’ve changed for me now, and basic expectations for me as an adult child living with my parent.
I'm glad your mom was more reasonable than some other parents (though I'm baffled as to why she'd ever take books away). That said, the logic of "you paid for it so I won't touch it anymore" is pretty faulty. Anything that's gifted to you is also your property, it doesn't matter that you didn't pay for it. The only reason parents can take anything away from kids is because kids don't have real rights.
@@KattoTang I was a reader, I didn’t care if she took TV or grounded me, so she made me go outside and play, and took my books at the door. 😂😂😂 She took the gifted laptop with my daddy’s permission (they coparented like champs) because I was also a budding novelist and, again, grounding me and taking TV away was nothing to me because I had my own imagination 😂😂😂 She had to make the punishment suck somehow
@@KattoTang yep, my parents tried to take my Wii hostage multiple times. The Wii I paid for, but they kept trying to claim was theirs because it was bought on their credit card (only after I showed them I had the cash, I was a child). I would be banned from it, but the sensor bar went missing every time. Fine, ban me, you can't use it either. Then when I hit adulthood and attempted to take it with me they freaked accusing me of stealing from them, flat out saying I wasn't allowed to steal their property. Then got mad when they realized I still took it with me, and even more mad when I said "It's not stealing to take my property".
@@KattoTang same. My parents tried to take my Wii hostage multiple times. The Wii I paid for, but they kept trying to claim was theirs because it was bought on their credit card (only after I showed them I had the cash, I was a child). I would be banned from it, but the sensor bar went missing every time. Fine, ban me, you can't use it either. Then when I hit adulthood and attempted to take it with me they freaked accusing me of stealing from them, flat out saying I wasn't allowed to steal their property. Then got mad when they realized I still took it with me, and even more mad when I said "It's not stealing to take my property". Also in terms of taking books away, some people just inhale books. One of my most common punishments was banning me from going to the library.
It is deeply disturbing how many parents treat their adult children like kids with regard to like "I get to punish you for not doing chores" type of thing. But at the same time expecting them to be independent and never need any help. Parenting, IS THE EXACT OPPOSITE!
Yep. Then again my parents tried to punish me for not cutting their lawn. Their lawn, not the lawn. Not only did I not live with them, I live in another city. Oh, and I'm allergic to several varieties of grass, including several in their lawn. They were mad because "but we offered to pay you". Yeah, $15 for two hours of work that would leave me covered in rashes for two weeks, leaving me just enough time to heal befor....oh wait, they wanted it cut weekly. Oh, and they wanted it cut specifically on Sundays, which I worked. Like no, I'm not throwing away over $1,000 to spend months with a rash to save them $60 over paying a neighborhood kid to do it.
You know, I unironically missed the bingo cards. My favorite part is when Click breaks/changes the rules to his own game that only he is playing. It's really entertaining.
Explaining British slang; 'Sos', pronounced 'soz', is short for 'sorry', but often used in an informal or negligent way, can also be used very sarcastically.
Wait till people realize, if they ever do, that the wandering eye of sexualization is wrought from purity culture. Since asking for forgiveness of sin is always easier than grasping morale and ethical boundaries in culture.
Makes me think of that classic example. 'I was going to ask god for a bike, but I know god doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.'
Another aspect of healing, after your abuser dies, is the realization that any form of vindication from the abuser died with them. Even if law enforcement doesn't prosecute them, you still have the option of civil court but only if the abuser is alive. With your abuser dead you don't get to hear a judge (civil or criminal court) chew out your abuser for two and a half hours for the crimes they did to you. And if your abuser is a relative like in OP's case you also lose what your abuser was supposed to be. In OP's case, she lost what should have been a protector, a caregiver, a guide in life, a safe space, a father. She never had that, and now she never will. She could find that in her FIL (if she has one) now as an adult but it's not the same as having that safety from birth. And OP is allowed to grieve that. She is allowed to grieve what she never got but should have had. And I don't think anyone has told her that before I am speaking from personal experience, losing a family member that abused me left me with a whole vortex of emotions. According to society, I should be happy they are dead and gone and can never hurt me again. And I am glad they are gone but I am sad too. I also lost having a proper happy healthy relationship with this family member. I have forever lost having that family role filled by someone who cares. I am allowed to grieve what I never had and never will have, and so is OP
Yeah, I can’t stand that kind of behavior. It’s exactly the kind of thing some people use as an excuse to victim-blame (as in SA). This is why it’s so hard to get certain people to understand the concept of “no means no”.
@@Pretermit_Sound I feel so bad for the people who've had to deal with partners like this for so long that it warps their idea of consent. Imagine you think being super persistent is a healthy form of affection and works, only to find out that you're just scaring away someone you care about.
@@spongecakes1986 yep. Exactly. This is why scientifically accurate, and honest sex education is so important for a kid to have in school. Knowledge is power ✊🏼🇺🇸✌🏻
Many moons ago we were at the beach and my father threw a hissy fit that we weren’t beaching his way and he wasn’t going to spend time with us . Because you know siblings always get along, right? This was our queue to beg for forgiveness. Instead we made some sandwiches and had a picnic beachside. Guess who never threw that particular threat again?
@39:16 correct in most places it's illegal to kick people out or lock them out. It counts as abandonment, illegal dissposession, and can even violate tenancy laws
The begging the step child to come home, but follow rules triggered me. If the step parent wants the kid to come home then you he needs to compromise with the presumption that he's dealing with an adult.
As someone who has had to stop multiple attempted grapes from getting followed at night the religious fruitcake mom in the beginning has the wrong idea. You wanna stop being harassed? Alternative fashion is a much better deterrent. A full princess dress or dye your hair black put on kiss makeup and go full Gothic. Something that makes you stand out in dress keeps the creeps away a lot more
The only time I’ve been in combat boots, jeans, and flannel and been catcalled I was 15 and it was by a bunch of boys my age. Purple lipstick tends to scare people away from me if they don’t already know me though, or if they’re super conservative and know me they’ll tell me to take it off.
THIS. I've been harassed going out in shorts during summer. But if I change that outfit up with tons of chains and dark makeup, or super femme frills and lace with lots of blush, then people go out of their way to stay away from me.
This doesn't always work, but I think it can for similar reasons to people backing off if you bark at them. If you have a lot of attention on you, it can be harder for someone to get away with harassing you quietly. It can make you seem like more trouble than it's worth.
The mother is absolutely insane😭. If someone is thinking of you naughtily that's a reflection on THEM not you. Everyone should wear what they want and people who sexualize and think terrible thoughts about women (and people) for dressing for themselves are the issue. If you want to dress more revealing then power to you! Don't let others stop you. People will do bad things no matter what you wear, clothing doesn't change crap.
Literally why my mom frustrated me so deeply trying to police my clothes in modesty growing up, after raising me with “the most important part of the Bible is Jesus’s words.” That part’s vagueness screwed me up in other ways and I eventually gave up and am now a Satanist who happens to also like Jesus a lot.
Yeah, my mom was like this to some degree, then got the shocked pikachu face look when I started wearing guy clothes cause I believed back then that guys didn't get assaulted that way (then I grew up and realized how dumb that thought was) so it was the 'safest' clothes for me to wear.
Well I do believe that the more revealing you go, the more harassment you'd find. But ultimately, it's in the person harassing you, not you wearing the clothing
also accusing atheism is unfair as religion doesn't cause morality and lack of it doesn't cause anything special either dressing "modestly" is a bull5#173 concept as the people who care about it tend to brag a lot making them hypocrites if modesty means what I think it means. It's frickin immodest to brag about covering your body (most if not all people do that to some extent most of the time and don't bother bragging) and it shouldn't matter in the slightest to anyone other than the wearer. ridiculous victim blaming garbage
Man that whole series of texts made my skin crawl. I feel like maybe the mother had a good intention of having the rough talk with her daughter, about you know, being a woman (or afab or otherwise, really) you gotta deal with dangerous situations and although it fucking sucks, you have to know awful people exist... but then it goes so hard on purity and victim blaming. I'm SO furious it's not a talk about safety or whatever! She's just telling her to hide herself!! Not only is it incredibly sexist and damaging, it's also fucking useless because predators couldn't give less of a shit about what their victim is wearing.
My stepfather did the "curfew for 20+" thing as well. I had never had curfew before because I wasn't a social kid. Then when I was 20 I got my first boyfriend. I stayed the night at his house once and came home to my stepfather in a rage. He set me a midnight curfew. He said if I was even a minute past curfew he was kicking me out and taking back the car I was driving. (it was my mom's old car). One night I was crying because I did not want to go home and my boyfriend told me to just stay and that I could move in with him. Half an hour later my stepfather was at the door with all of my stuff and took the car. I now know this was illegal but at the time I didn't know that. Not long after he would literally throw my dog out of the house. She went to live with the neighbors down the road. All this was ages ago and while I do maintain a relationship with my Mom I do not allow my stepfather to have any control over me. The minute he does he will use it against you.
@@spongecakes1986 Sadly, no. I wasn't in a position to take her myself and I honestly didn't know which neighbors had her. My parents did, though, and my stepfather visited them and pretended he didn't know her. He was happy to let them take her. Years later I was at my parents' house when some people came to visit them and mentioned that they had to put their dog down. When I had a minute with my Mom I asked if those were the people that took Peaches in and she said yes. So that's how I got to find out my dog had died.
Families don’t hide anything from each other? Don’t want to be in that family. I have no need to know my parents intimate details,or their money details. I don’t even need to know about mundane things like what they had for lunch. If they wish to share everything, more power to them. Doesn’t mean I have to tell them about anything.
You asked if we wanted to see the bingo 24/7. I really like the bingo, but making it something too common might kill it. I like how it is now: once every few videos.
There's an exhibition in Germany about what woman wore when they got experienced s//abuse . It's alled "Was ich anhatte..." (What I wore...) and shows the clothes and stories of 12 women and mostly their original clothing that they wore. They also have an Instagram account if anyone is interested. They were mostly "normal" clothes and not "suggestive" ones. Because of that I find those comments of what women wear and being responsible for what might happen to them/us nonsense.
And the thing with "modest" clothes gets even worse: in Egypt women wear abayas and a face veil. Egypt is one of the most dangerous countries in the world for women. The numbers of cases of SA and r*pe is astronimical.
What killed me the most was seeing the kids' clothing in those exhibits 😢 I wish more people would see those walls and realise it's not the clothes, it's the bad people on the other end. It's not what you wore, and it's not your fault.
Yeah, there's a few of those exhibitions around the world, it's awesome. On a side note, it's not even about what X is wearing, there's a reason other than "women like nurturing" for why maaaaany cultures prefer women to do funeral cares, and sometimes even let the body rot a bit before they take it in the funeral institutions 🥲
"Families don't hide things..." Dude, even in my reasonably healthy relationship with my parents, I have things I choose not to share with them. And I sure has heck know my dad has things he doesn't share with his mom.
"Mom, I'm 42!" Wait, what? That's the third time today I've run into the number from the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. The answer to life, the universe, and everything!
19:35 even better... That message was LITERALLY TO BUY WEED imagine telling your kid you're not going to blow £40 on weed and then sending them a message meant for your weed dealer, that you just told them you weren't buying off, to spend EVEN MORE than the £40 she was asking for... Like her kid is some petty change piggybank whenever she needs a zoot
The dress code Karen needs to be sent the link to the "What She Was Wearing" site. It's not the clothes. The one begging a family member to come back home and share their WhatsApp and Insta: before these apps, there was still FB. I had an aunt on my FB, and I went out to bar on Halloween, waiting for the live music for the night, because I knew the guys playing. Before they even got to the bar, I updated my status, and within 5 minutes, my mom called me, accusing me of driving drunk. My aunt had called my mom told her this. I hadn't even had a single drink yet. I blocked all of my family on all social media. Can't share shit with family.
People are insane, and so is social media. I deleted social media. The fact that no one I spoke with there aside kept contact with me after says just how shallow the relationships it forms are.
That mom that refuses to talk in person and demands to be cut out of their kids life... she wants to have that boundaries conversation via text bc there she can misinterpret all she wants (as she is showing right there). Its some stupid kind of powerplay, she desperately tries to keep the upper hand in conversation to control the narrative. Bet my ass on that she will go to her friends or husband later playing the victim bc her child was so ungrateful lol.
Really loving the irony of the mom freaking out about her daughter wanting to set boundaries. She states a boundary - I don't want to talk to you, I want you to stop using my prime account, ETC - and then proceeds to get pissed when her daughter respects her boundary.
That mom who thinks dressing modest will save you from creeps is wrong. Doesn't matter how modest and covered up you are, creeps don't care. I've had my fair share try hitting on me while I was wearing comfy clothes, and clothes to look nice. The clothes don't matter, creeps will be creeps regardless of what you wear.
It's definitely understandable to think that, since people want to believe they have control over whether bad things happen, and it's definitely a reasonable assumption to believe that sexier clothes equals sexier thoughts in others. It's a fine hypothesis, but unfortunately that's all it is. Fact is it doesn't matter, and more people need to realize that. The only way to control whether or not you get assaulted is to literally have a magical forcefield protecting you at all times.
41:12 trans dude here. When i was a kid, my parents used to punish me for being ‘unladylike’ for stuff like this to the point that even to this day i cant burp even if i want to- it comes out as a weird sigh instead every time.
19:14 that message wasn't intended for someone else she borrows money from, that was meant for her dealer. In Britain most of our money isn't green, so green as slang refers more commonly to weed than to money.
For the first one: Isn't the fact that she says "it still happens to me (that people talk to her with bad intentions)" sortof proof that it doesn't really work, and in the end the clothes don't do as much as you think they do? Because if they did then wouldn't it no longer be an issue? Doesn't this sortof prove that the problem isn't the clothing, but the people who assume other's intentions based purely on clothing and particularly think of women as pleasure-givers instead of human beings?
I'm an aroace being. I know how my mom thinks about the LGBT community. I don't know about how my dad feels about it, though. So I just tell them I don't want to get married or that I don't want kids, so why marry someone who wants kids. I love them, but I know I won't be accepted. So they'll never know.
It’s unfortunate that it’s an either/or. It would be your choice to be out or not regardless, but I wish there was nothing putting pressure on you in either direction.
no support from relatives? Okeybfpund family troupe time it is! Find your people hold thight and never let go. Seriously, sometimes we can find our family in friends, and it hurta and i stings that our parents cant be a part of that but BELIVE ME, it gets better
I'm aroace too, and I'm sorry you have to deal with that. My parents and siblings aren't discriminatory and I wish more parents (and people in general) were the same I actually told my dad that Obama legalized same-sex marriage the day it happened and asked how he felt about it bc we'd never discussed stuff like it before, and he basically said there was nothing wrong with it (he knew someone that was gay and liked him) So that definitely made me feel much better. I actually kinda think he might be bi, leaning more towards women. He was reluctant about me coming out as trans to him, but he turned around really quickly. In fact, he's been the only family member who rarely, if ever, misgenders or deadnames me, so that has been a huge shock to me He was upset when I chose to change my last name to my mum's maiden name bc his family are the worst kind of bigot, but my mum explained to him why I felt that way. I did decide to take his middle name, though, so I think he'll be happy about that when I finally make it official ^^ As much of a turd he's been my whole life (he's nowhere near as bad) I could never hate him bc he's my dad, so I want him to know that without actually telling him with words I hope things turn out better for you and that one day you can tell your dad if you ever want to
Right?! The beige trend is terrible for kids 🤦♀️ Like, why don’t people realise that there’s a reason kids’ toys are made with brillant colours? Maybe it’s because kids actually need the visual stimulation?
My parents would constantly get mad at me for not doing everything EXACTLY like they wanted, "you may have cleaned the dishes but i'm still punishing you for not sorting the knives" and other stupid stuff like that. there was even a time where I fully considered either ending my life or ending my parents lives but my friends helped me get past that
Some of these text conversations genuinely feel like you're watching someone play a choose your own adventure game whilst purposefully picking every completely wrong option
2:41 i imagine actually wholesome as a sparkling figure just sitting in the corner terrified and the emoji face standing in the middle of the room bewildered to the point where they don't give a fluff anymore
12:40 I would say “pot calling the kettle black”, but this is more like pot calling the SILVERWARE black! How can someone act so petulant, while telling someone to be more mature?! HOW?!
The fact that I have never heard "beige mom fit" before and yet know exactly what it means is honestly amazing. Of course, I'm glad that Bingo is back!
The work computer one actually makes a lot of sense if you remember this person lives with their parents. The father is clearly mostly interested in controlling them, which requires them to stay living at home, which is more likely if they don't have a job, so that person getting fired over not completing a work assignment might just be the intended result. I doubt the father could tell you that's what he's doing, since he's probably convinced he's teaching his child a lesson. Abusive parents can come up with all kinds of weird mental gymnastics when it comes to keeping their adult children at home.
might as well get disown or runaway from the abusive household also don't they realize they might die some days and their "child" is depended on them so basically they die with their parent idk just my opinion
@@iantinothe amount of times me and my brothers would stack them to the point we ended up making it a house rule that we couldn’t go past like 10 or 12 😭
@@SnowDragon_2204 My friends' solution was to power up even more: Being able to block and revert drawings, but also to play all cards that have the same number in one turn, the only requirement being match the first card of the stack. That resulted in a gameplay between four players lasting around an hour, most of the time, a part of the players with comically large hands and the other with two or three and a lot of draws from everyone because no one there had a red nor a 2 card, and suddenly someone gets one red and frees up half their hand, and all of the sudden the player with most cards says "Uno!" and wins as first (and the game continues until the last one get out). It was very chaotic but pretty fun.
That clothes one, yikes. I spent most of my life not able to dress myself for myself, becuase even as a child it was always *dress/behave FOR other people* and it fucked up my sense of self image entirely. Like, until I started working thru my dismorphia, I had to ask other people how I looked and have other people tell me what to wear, because I couldn’t fucking tell since it was instilled in me to care first and foremost about how other people saw you not about how you see yourself. That person just sounds like they went thru life socially unaware, but now wants to make it a *you* problem instead of a *them* problem, but telling someone they can’t dress or appear in away that aligns with their self image but instead align it with every possible external view of you is actually disgusting
Ohmygosh, you just made me realise something really detrimental about myself. I don’t know how to pick out clothing without my mom, and she recently passed away from cancer. She was very honest, and extremely picky, but the only person I could trust to give me the truth (she wasn’t mean about it either, the fault was always with the clothing itself). I have anxiety about updating my wardrobe. I’m terrified. But you just identified it, which is like giving me a hint about how I can be the one in charge… I don’t know how to explain what I’m saying but just… thank you for sharing that.
The sad truth is, whatever you wear, there is ALWAYS a possibility that people won't like how you look, and that is okay! Expressing yourself is important, and if people dislike how you look, isn't your fault, nor your problem. I used to rely on my mom for clothing advice as well, and her stepping back in my teenage years and letting me express myself helped me realize that, No matter what, if you see yourself as beautiful, that is all that matters ❤
There are two types of entitled parents, the kind that is entitled to their kids, and the kind that is entitled about their kids. I love watching these.
To the legal young adults with parental figures holding your ID and lab top or any other property. Call the police immediately and get them arrested and charged for theft of property.
When I lived with my mom, even after I became an adult, I didn't know it was illegal for her to withhold belongings I'd paid for. I wasn't able to make friends in highschool, and didn't have much luck in college either, so I didn't have connections to tell me "hey, she's mistreating you." Having someone to point out when something she said or did was abusive likely would have saved me a few attempts on my life, but I'm glad this kind of resource is available now, for others who are in the situation I used to be in, who really need this info.
10:45 I let my dad borrow my laptop for a few weeks after his died. I explicitly told him I wanted it returned to me because I still had important stuff on it. After several months of hemming and hawing whenever I asked about it, he finally told me he "lost" it. Never got so much as an apology.
My parents used to pretend to go along and help with plans I have, only to, at the very last minute, try to sabotage and/or just stop helping. “Well, we thought you would change your mind.” If you don’t want to help, tell me you don’t want to help! 6 years NC.
I honestly feel bad for the first mom. It’s abundantly clear that she’s had something happen to her and has been victim blamed. She should get therapy instead of dumping it on her kid tho…
My oldest gave me a 10 day notice for his wedding for the 11th of May. And he lives over 1k miles away. (Worse -- I'm broke af) I can see many of these parents losing it if any of their kids were to do what my son did. Despite my disappointment, I still understand that it's his life. He's old enough. I can find other ways to celebrate with him & my future DIL. His happiness is my focus no matter what. I just don't understand why parents can't learn to control their emotions & be more supportive -- allow their child(ren) to choose their own path (with some guidance as needed).
That story at 24:05 gives me such PTSD, man... A very close family member (married in) I tolerated for way longer than I should have, recently went nuclear on me because I woundn't delay my own plans just so she could be 1st it... And man... She did that same thing! You analyze her behaviour and tell her why she is wrong and all she does is throwing the exact same words back at you, despite you not doing any of it. I eventually had to block her and break up contact because trying to reason with her was a waste of time...
That makes me think of certain things that can be great fun between consenting adults, so I would rather use his terminology for these sorts of people…
My mom likes to be overly involved. If it were just dropping me off at school everyday and similar things, I wouldn't have thought much about it. However, mom wanted to me with me and my siblings every time we went out of the house. Even if a friends' parent would be there. As though we would want to hang out with her in addition to our friends. Mom thinks we're super close when in reality she knows very little about me. I lost all trust in her when she read my very private journals and insisted I needed to date a guy who tried to touch me inappropriately during high school. She wouldn't let me finish a sentence when I tried telling her about the touching.
If you have evidence, you should go to a lawyer and not the police. Lawyers want to help their clients and with fail-proof evidence they'll basically be fighting over you as a client.
My parents are very much the “families don’t hide things” type. My mom is always asking for stuff like my Instagram and TikTok usernames, the name of my Etsy store, and specific plans I have and places I go in my personal time. Not only is it absurd because I don’t live with them anymore (I’m 21, moved out of my hometown, and going into my last year of college), but they’ll interrogate me and imply I’m doing “weird things” when I refuse to tell them. The truth is that I don’t have any “reasons” to hide things and the most “adult” thing I do is getting piercings and going to the bar every so often, but I want to keep my adult life separate from theirs. I don’t know any other adults who are expected to give their parents constant updates as if they’re teens on curfew, and I’m exhausted by them implying that I’m some kind of delinquent for wanting to have a personal life.
I personally enjoy the bingo cards. Not only is it bringing levity to what can be some really awful posts, but it also helps draw attention to the root of what makes those posts problematic. I’ve learned a lot about how to identify toxic behaviors and what they are trying to do by watching these bingos break down the extreme versions. Thank you for doing these, and I look forward to more.
For the 1st one with the mom going on the giant clothes policing rant and decided our southern boarders are where people are being assaulted and trafficked: If immigrants (particularly ones from the central and southern Americas,) are such a problem then why is it here, OHIO, that has the highest rates of human trafficking and is like 6th in number of reported SAs?
Honestly with the first mom, I've been sexually harassed over my body, my clothes, and my VOICE. Imagine just having a casual conversation with someone on the phone or talking to yourself and some guy goes up to you and immediately starts hitting on you in a very gross way as well as making sexual comments about you just because he thought your voice was hot.
I've experienced that too. And I was a young boy at the time. Whoever you are, whatever you do, there's always the possibility of someone reacting creepily because of it. But that doesn't mean you should change your body, your clothing style or even your voice. Not only because that would be giving in, but because there will also be creeps who react to these changes: You're Quasimodo in a burka who talks like Kermit now? You just have to wait long enough until you get harassed for that too. It's more fulfilling to be the way you feel comfortable and not the way you speculate that you will be harassed less.
The situation with the 20 year old asking for a laptop that he/she owns. There is just one thing you can do with parents like this, that’s asking nicely, explain and ask one more time. Still no? Call the police and let them come to get your laptop. I have parents like this, where you indeed need to put “disclaimers” that you are just generally saying something, not mad, not intended badly….it’s absolutely exhausting.
Best response to the "You must dress modestly, sexual thoughts are a sin" people, in the USA, is: "What, are you a terrorist, sounds hell of a lot like what the Taliban are teaching!"
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The mom wrote an entire Bible just to say:
“Don’t wear that top, it’s very indecent”
Lmao true
Joan Of Arc: CAN YOU CHILL OUT?!
She really wanted to fill out the whole board-
"if your eye causes you to sin"
@@Voidi-Void TGIS
Someone should tell that first mom that sexual assault still happens in countries where women wear burqa's and other modest clothes.
Tamar seduces Judah by pretending to be a sex worker. She does that by COVERING HERSELF UP.
So which way of dressing is more naughty? Hmm?
Perhaps it’s based on context, or it’s NOT RELEVANT?!
These people have never read the Bible. So few people have.
She also seems to be going down the "random people are dangerous" route, and while they can be; the majority of SA's are commited by someone the victim knows.
Lol you're saying that like this crazy mum is a reasonably thinking human that you can talk with logically 😂
@@Slysheenthere's a pretty good chance that that was code for immigrants...
Someone should tell my mom that.
"Curfew for 20+"
Boi, my mother is 60 years old and told me abiut how when she last visited my grandma, she was out with a few friends for dinner and my grandma started calling around EVERYONE she knew at 9pm about where she was and how she needed to come home. So my mom got a text from my uncle at around 9:15 like "Mom's going crazy again"
Fast forward two months later, I visit grandma with my mom, mom goes out to meet friends, I stay with grandma and she DOES IT AGAIN.
I kid you not!
An 80 years old woman tried to lecture me about how her 60 years old daughter has to be home at 9pm "because she has to get up again tomorrow"
Mam. It's 9pm. My mom is 60. Coffee exists.
If she's STILL enforcing such a strict regime, I wonder if there might be something more there like OCD?
if she's 80, it might be dementia?
@@Sly-Moose Or maybe some onset dementia? It can cause people to "return to past" and remember more distant events better then more immidiate.
@@tuskam Def some sort of anxiety there if she was that worried for her 60yo daughter being out with friends
@@Sly-Moose Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder is a hell of a drug, yeah.
As a fun reminder to anyone worried about inspiring immodest thoughts in others by their dress, just remember that jesus, when asked by someone to tell some sexy looking women to cover up so he'd stop having impure thoughts, told the man to pluck his eyes out and stop looking at them. We are the only ones responsible for our own behaviors/thoughts. If someone is dressed very provocatively, you always have the option of not staring.
Oh what a classic passage. You got the number? Gonna add that one to my repertoire
@@gabrote42 it actually pops up in two places, both in Matthew. First in 5:27-30, then again in 18:8-9.
Edit because RUclips won't let me edit my comments right now, the general idea Jesus was trying to get across was that other people tempting you is not an excuse to sin, and that it's better to go into heaven with a few parts missing rather than being fully intact and getting sent to hell. I've also seen that interpreted as "nothing is worth going to hell for". Also I goofed in that I don't think he wasn't talking to a specific dude, but rather speaking on general principle. Still very enjoyable
@@Fischohnerad17 Should have expected it to be Matthew. 7:1-4 is one I always use on arguments with christians. I'll make sure to paste it into my notes! Much appreciated, dude!
It's a good argument in practice. Put the shame back where in belongs.
Tho technically, the bible is very clear that god is responsible both the good and the evil in the world, including our "impure thoughts".
It goes like this: He knows everything, he can see the future, and made us all specifically to live out that future. He has the power to change it, but chooses not to. He always knew that we'd end up as sinners and degenerates (or as babies with cancer or child r*pe slaves, take your pick) and then created us to be those things, and to be tortured in hell, as a "lesson" to the people he created knowing they'd worship him, with or without the unnecessary "lesson" of our eternal torment and misery.
tl:dr, god is a narcissist and psychopath.
There is literally a travelling exhibition showing what victims of sexual assault were wearing. The outfits range from children's clothing (yikes) across dresses, swimwear, to A MILITARY UNIFORM INCLUDING A GUN.
That's really sad yet interesting, being able to see that clothing isn't a cause, but it's a part of one's Identity.
The kids clothes break my heart
I remember seeing one of these. There were full on suits and stuff. So disappointing.
The wedding dress man... breaks my heart every time
MILITARY.
oh my god
"Without God, people have unhealthy mindsets."
With God, people still have unhealthy mindsets. Sometimes they gain unhealthy mindsets as they find God.
Thinking that you're responsible for other people's sins is an example of an unhealthy mindset that people adopt as they get interested in God.
Fr. I don’t understand how people can be like that. I mean, there’s nothing wrong with being religious, but I feel like sometimes they’re far too consumed by their beliefs.
Right? Too many do horrible things claiming God supports what they’re doing.
The only reason I believed in God was because I had an unhealthy mindset (not to say that it applies to all religious people).
Tell that to the offended people under lil nas x music video 😂
I'm religious, but religion today is dominated by unhealthy mindsets and ugly ideologies. A person needs to carefully weed the garden of their mind to remain sane, and being religious doesn't eliminate that need.
Somebody show that "dress modestly or bad things will happen to you" Mom the What She Was Wearing Museum.
I'd like to see what she says then
She'd probably think that the museum is "lying" or straight up ignore the museum.
She'd probably then claim that they probably were saying or doing something to provoke the perpetrator instead and that they would have been completely fine and safe if they hadn't behaved in this manner.
@@Grey_Warden_Invasion 🤦
@@Grey_Warden_InvasionSome of the outfits are just diapers. But she probably wouldn’t believe it. She’d benefit from news clips reporting on toddlers and even infants dying from getting SA’d. My stomach hurts just typing this out.
@@phoenixgirl70yeah sadly a lot of people even think infants and toddlers act in “provocative” ways. It’s disgusting and anyone who thinks a literal baby is acting in a way to deserve being assaulted needs therapy almost as much as the person who assaulted the child. It’s a baby. My mother told me as a child that wearing a bikini was provoking to men. Disgusting and vile behavior.
Clicky completely missed out on his 5th bingo. The Curfew story completely qualifies as threatening housing too. If op wasn't gonna go home, they'd be kicked out. That would have completed the top row.
I thought there were a couple of threatened housing ones, so yeah.
Yes to this comment! Would've had another bingo with the threatening housing square. It was driving me crazy that it didn't get punched on the bingo card
Yes! I was expecting him to mark that square
Yes, very sad indeed :/
xD
My OCD didn’t make me gripe at the screen about that at all. Nope, I definitely didn’t do anything like that.
🙊
3:09 I HATE when people try to use creeps as an argument to dress modestly because IT. DOESNT. FRICKING. WORK. If someone wants to be a creep, they're going to do so regardless of what you're wearing or doing. My ex was a massive creep, I could be wearing the most modest thing I could find and he would ALWAYS find a way to be creepy about it. Like Jesus Fricking Christ stop staring at my chest in a selfie of me holding my elderly cat.
My mom was the type of person who tried to make me dress modest to protect me, but at the same time wouldn't let me take a wrestling class because it was "too violent". Mother, capris won't stop creeps, BEING ABLE TO YEET THEM INTO THE F*CKING CONCRETE WILL.
YEETUS THE CREEPUS TO THE FUCKING CONCRETUS
@@BoxOfToasters love this line should have more votes.
@@BoxOfToastersi want this on a shirt
Fun facts with squidward: Registered pdf files and sexual offenders aren't legally allowed to own guns.
This is partially why I want to learn how to take firearm classes and carry a concealed firearm. Self defense is so important. I'd also love to take a self-defense class if that exists
Just saw an article about three students that got suspended for writing a document categorized categorize the female students into categories from top to bottom as “wifeys”, “cuties”, “mid”, “object”, “get out” and lastly “unra....able”. They got caught cause it was found online.
Only suspended?
@@thehippydisnerd4887 for now.
When the bars were so low the devil is tripping on them in hell, yet the parents keep playing limbo
"How did you get under THAT? It's *lodged in the floor!!"*
This is my favorite comment lmao
When you have to clip through the ground textures and end up hanging upside down in the void to win limbo, you've become something horrifying.
They're plaing limbo, and the Click is playing bingo
The problem is that they want to, and parents are unstoppable. They will stop at nothing until they get what they want.
The predatory people have NEVER cared about what the other person was wearing. Telling someone to dress 'modestly' (whatever that means) doesn't help anyone on that front.
I've seen a small exhibit of what people were wearing when they went through IT. Literally jeans and T-Shirts. Sweatpants and jackets. Normal, covered clothing. It's not the fur of the bunny; it's the wolf's desire to hunt and kill.
Plus some people actually sexualize the act of dressing modestly (i.e. purity virgin stuff). In fact, wasn’t there a study where scientist found men’s brains were more active when seeing women dressed in suits and full clothing over women dressed in bikinis?
@@Bunny_BillAnd you can even see a childs onesie 😭
If predatory people actually cared about how you are dressed, there would be no assault cases in countries were women wear things like burqas
@@Elipsyclips there was a diaper too... pretty sure the exhibits ages go from a literal one year old infant to a 60 year old elderly woman. honestly, it makes me want to cry. this is a truth we can't look away from. EVERY person who is ignorant about sexual assault needs to put in the effort to learn and grow.
Just a friendly reminder what you wear has never been the problem. Anyone who blames it on people showing too much skin as the reason for bad stuff needs to be reminded that sort of thing was happening in like Victorian times when people were covered head to toe in many layers. It's not the clothes it's the purportators. Also you are not responsible for someone else's feelings. If you want to dress in a way you feel good, do it. It doesn't matter if you are super Ace and would not touch a person with a ten foot pole in an intimate way. Just cause you dress in a specific way doesn't mean you owe anyone anything. Be in the clothes that make you feel good and dress for yourself first. It is such a confidence boost to love what you put on.
My childhood consisted of wearing everything in two or more layers even in the summer well guess what... that did not work
This also still happens to women in the current day in the middle east. It happens in countries where the only skin an unwed woman shows is around her eyeballs. Where their clothes are baggy and hide all shapes and curves.
It's never about the clothes.
You know those hat pins that they needed to keep their hats in place, long sharp ones were popular, the longer and sharper the better for self defence. Then they suddenly needed laws to prevent women from having them be too long and sharp because creeps didn’t like the consequences of their actions. Politicians certainly aren’t immune to being creeps and outlawing self defence for women, but no, it’s feminism that makes men feel entitled to touch and more because now women don’t dress modest anymore 🤦
Absolutely. Women in covered head to toe, where only their eyes are visible, still get assaulted. People with bad intentions will sexualise others just as much whether you show skin or not. I once heard a guy say that he likes seeing women wearing burkas and niqabs because it allows him to imagine whats underneath, it doesn't matter how covered or not you are.
perpetrators*
That was a really extreme reaction to a daughter saying that she wants to wear a cute top.
With the "need laptop for work training one"
Call your workplace, preferably the HR department, say the workplace training wasn't working on your phone, and your laptop is currently being repaired (or tell them something more truthful, depending on how well you know them). Ask if you can complete the training on a computer at work that day or the next. They might not be understanding or accommodating, but it is infinitely better to have made the call and let them know theres an issue you are trying to resolve than not make the call and just fail to complete the task without any explanation. Best case scenario they say "yeah, come in tomorrow, get it done and it'll be grand", worst case scenario they'll say "not our problem. Get the training done by tomorrow or you'll be out of a job", which you knew already.
Piggy backing onto this to suggest going to a local library. That's exactly what their computers are there for.
@@Hair8Metal8KarenSadly doesn't always work if they require some specific software to complete as some companies do, but if not, thats a good option
I love that no matter what he always forgets the diagonal bingos they're just dead to him
It's what makes the bingo special 😂😂
Great beige mom fit, maybe you should spray paint the emotional support demon to matdh your aesthetic
and the chair and play button
Don't give ideas, poor support demon
And the fanart
One could argue that Mango is the fitting plushie doe that aesthetic, you will only need to make minimal adjustments with that one xD
please no
If you are relatively young (as in under, like, 60) you are going to be sexualized by strangers in public. Especially if you're fem presenting (though it happens to lots and lots of masc and androgynous presenting people of course!). I could literally wear a floor length potato sack in public and some people would still do this. There's no way to avoid it other than becoming an agoraphobe, so the best solution is to wear what you like, and not give a shit what other people think about you. If someone decides to be gross and creepy, that's definitely their problem!
Unfortunately even people over 60 sexualize each other. It’s pretty funny watching old people flirting though.
60?!
As an agoraphobe - I still can't avoid it, I'm just extra anxious every time I have to go out on top of it. -99/10 do not recommend
Over 60s get it too! My mum is in her mid 60s and she's nice looking and has a large bust, she has had at least 5 weirdo men approach her and say/do creepy things that made her very uncomfortable in the last couple of years. These men were aged anywhere between their 30s and late 60s. Mature women get that shite as well unfortunately.
My grandma has been hit on a few times in the past year, she’s 68(?). Dudes will creep on any girl that moves.
"I knew manipulation was going to be thrown at me" the self awareness may be in the room with us, someone introduced it to mother quick
If the "police have told them four times" then the next time the police effectively do nothing, file a complaint with as many police oversight organisations as possible, also then talk to a free legal advice service (every lawyers office will help set you in the right direction for free). You may find unfortunately that you have to step away from these people who are trying to control you, but that's the price of growing out from that kind of interference.
I can never understand how burping is not "lady like". Literally everyone burps. It's a natural bodily function.
I think a case could be made for that one counting as "Double Standards", since it's more acceptable for guys
Yep. I didn't know that it was normal till I was a teen because I don't burp, but I still never said anything to anyone unless it was obvious they were making themselves burp on purpose to be annoying. No seriously, I don't burp, it's a medical condition, a muscle in the back of my throat doesn't work right.
@waffles3629 Do you not feel the need in your diaphragm? I thought it all came from there and goes up the chest.
@@Roadent1241 kinda? But my throat literally doesn't work right so the muscle that is supposed to relax to let the air out doesn't and it just gets very uncomfortable and can make me nauseous. It's not a condition I would wish on anyone, it can get to the point where the only way to get the air out is to kinda "throw up" the air. The air usually eventually gets out after some uncomfortable time. I'd prefer to be able to burp.
@@waffles3629 I kind of have to do that too sometimes, maybe I should bring it up to my doctor tomorrow...
First one: Clearly, this woman has never seen the pics from the museum that displays the clothes that people were wearing when they got SA'd.
I was thinking about that when I heard that one. It was something I didn't even know existed until a few weeks ago and it was heart wrenching and disgusting to learn about. There's not enough adjectives to describe how horrible it is thinking about what those victims went through. There were also children's clothing which made it even more terrifying and heartbreaking.
Why does the museum even exist? Nobody wants to think about this stuff
@@MalindaDavis-rl6fs To disprove the claim that women and girls ask to be abused with their attire. “Nobody wants to think about this stuff” Are you sure you’re not projecting, buddy? Or should we keep an eye on you?
🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
@@MalindaDavis-rl6fsit NEEDS to exist. There are so many people that still ask survivors what were you wearing or blaming their SA on heavy makeup or tattoos or hair color... It's meant to emphasize that the victim blaming is straight up incorrect and hurtful. There is no "modest" way to dress that keeps you safe when there are literally huge, baggy hoodies and sweatpants, footie PJs, hospital gowns, baby onesies, fairy princess dresses, bathing suits, police uniforms
It's getting a crucial point across. What happened was NOT your fault and people should blame the assailant not their target.
I have literally had times where someone commented on things saying stuff like "they dress like/do this and then act surprised when they're attacked" and I just replied with the link showcasing that exhibit
@@MalindaDavis-rl6fsIt's good to have because everyone always blames SA and r//e on what the person in question was wearing. The amount of times I've seen people blame specifically women for their trauma because they wore a pair of shorts once is horrific. But that museum brings light to the fact that no, it doesn't at all matter what you wear.
Children's onesies and pajamas are displayed in that museum. Baggy clothes are displayed. The clothes you wear doesn't stop a creep from being a creep, and that's something people need to be able to learn.
FATHER CLICCY HAS COME
Father cliccy needs to redeem me of my sins :(
The Cult is assembling
FATHER CLICCY HAS WHAT!?
What an... interesting phrasing decision
@@osheridan better than "daddy cliccy" at least
My neck literally snapped up at 7:25, I'm half Venezuelan, mom immigrated to the US.
And gotta say, no Empanadas for that lady.
No empanadas? I audibly gasped my best friend in middle school was half Venezuelan, and that is truly unfortunate,
but also she doesn’t deserve empanadas! (mention of the edit: I forgot it was middle school not high school High school was boring as fuck; I didn’t go to homecoming or prom because we didn’t have one because I moved to a new town and then went to an alternative school lmao)
No arepas as well.
No empanadas for you! (Soup Nazi reference).
Those people will say the worst shit about immigrants (particularly non white ones, you never hear complaints about the French moving in) but still want their food. Have fun trying to get delicious authentic enchiladas when you kick out all the people who make them
Now I’m hungry!
The irony in the mother misunderstanding what their child wants to happen to their relationship, when they literally are asking to have an in-person meeting to avoid miscommunications like this.
Actually that laptop story reminds me of something.
Once at a restaurant, I went to the bathroom (men's bathroom bc I'm ftm) and my stepdad followed me without me knowing, demanded I get out, then threatened to take and smash my phone. My phone is my property that i as an adult paid for, so obviously I didn't let him do that. He forcefully wrenched it from my hands, I called the police with the restaurant phone and they got it back, but they also told me that no crime was committed because i live with them... Fucking excuse me??
I'm an adult and he took and threatened my property, how is that not a crime???
In what part of the world are you located? At any rate, I get the feeling that the cops just didn't want to do their jobs (which is utter BS)
@@MarcelWhy Massachusetts, USA. I like to think it's a pretty good place, but police in the US are never good lol
Police enforce what they think the law should be, including selectively.
Hmmm I live in France and I think here we have an exception where theft can't be prosecuted if it's between spouses or close family. There are a few items this doesn't apply to though, including phones
Idk if there are laws like that in the US though, maybe the cops just don't wanna get involved in family bs idk
@@iceninelives4651 Yes, technially in the law, you can't stole familly, in a sense that's not a penal offence.
My dad bought me a laptop when I was 16. At no point between ages 16 and 18 did my mom ever take my laptop from me and refuse to give it back when I needed it. In fact, I once had to pay for repairs using my part time job. The minute that happened (at 17), she never took it as punishment again.
Why? She said “well you paid to fix it. It’s yours. I do not reserve the right to take shit you own. Why do you think I stopped taking your books when you were in your mid teens and bought them with your own allowance?”
This is the same mom who, when I turned 18, sat me down to discuss the rules, how they’ve changed for me now, and basic expectations for me as an adult child living with my parent.
I'm glad your mom was more reasonable than some other parents (though I'm baffled as to why she'd ever take books away). That said, the logic of "you paid for it so I won't touch it anymore" is pretty faulty. Anything that's gifted to you is also your property, it doesn't matter that you didn't pay for it. The only reason parents can take anything away from kids is because kids don't have real rights.
@@KattoTang I was a reader, I didn’t care if she took TV or grounded me, so she made me go outside and play, and took my books at the door. 😂😂😂
She took the gifted laptop with my daddy’s permission (they coparented like champs) because I was also a budding novelist and, again, grounding me and taking TV away was nothing to me because I had my own imagination 😂😂😂
She had to make the punishment suck somehow
@@KattoTang yep, my parents tried to take my Wii hostage multiple times. The Wii I paid for, but they kept trying to claim was theirs because it was bought on their credit card (only after I showed them I had the cash, I was a child). I would be banned from it, but the sensor bar went missing every time. Fine, ban me, you can't use it either. Then when I hit adulthood and attempted to take it with me they freaked accusing me of stealing from them, flat out saying I wasn't allowed to steal their property. Then got mad when they realized I still took it with me, and even more mad when I said "It's not stealing to take my property".
@@KattoTang same. My parents tried to take my Wii hostage multiple times. The Wii I paid for, but they kept trying to claim was theirs because it was bought on their credit card (only after I showed them I had the cash, I was a child). I would be banned from it, but the sensor bar went missing every time. Fine, ban me, you can't use it either. Then when I hit adulthood and attempted to take it with me they freaked accusing me of stealing from them, flat out saying I wasn't allowed to steal their property. Then got mad when they realized I still took it with me, and even more mad when I said "It's not stealing to take my property".
Also in terms of taking books away, some people just inhale books. One of my most common punishments was banning me from going to the library.
I sure love non-abusive parents who use their words and not their fists.
It is deeply disturbing how many parents treat their adult children like kids with regard to like "I get to punish you for not doing chores" type of thing. But at the same time expecting them to be independent and never need any help.
Parenting, IS THE EXACT OPPOSITE!
Yep. Then again my parents tried to punish me for not cutting their lawn. Their lawn, not the lawn. Not only did I not live with them, I live in another city. Oh, and I'm allergic to several varieties of grass, including several in their lawn. They were mad because "but we offered to pay you". Yeah, $15 for two hours of work that would leave me covered in rashes for two weeks, leaving me just enough time to heal befor....oh wait, they wanted it cut weekly. Oh, and they wanted it cut specifically on Sundays, which I worked. Like no, I'm not throwing away over $1,000 to spend months with a rash to save them $60 over paying a neighborhood kid to do it.
You know, I unironically missed the bingo cards. My favorite part is when Click breaks/changes the rules to his own game that only he is playing. It's really entertaining.
Yes.
Yes it is :)
Explaining British slang; 'Sos', pronounced 'soz', is short for 'sorry', but often used in an informal or negligent way, can also be used very sarcastically.
Wait that’s just British..? I thought that was everyone 😭🙏
@@ZaF4ran Sadly, yes. Sos ^^
Wait till people realize, if they ever do, that the wandering eye of sexualization is wrought from purity culture. Since asking for forgiveness of sin is always easier than grasping morale and ethical boundaries in culture.
Makes me think of that classic example. 'I was going to ask god for a bike, but I know god doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.'
Another aspect of healing, after your abuser dies, is the realization that any form of vindication from the abuser died with them. Even if law enforcement doesn't prosecute them, you still have the option of civil court but only if the abuser is alive. With your abuser dead you don't get to hear a judge (civil or criminal court) chew out your abuser for two and a half hours for the crimes they did to you.
And if your abuser is a relative like in OP's case you also lose what your abuser was supposed to be. In OP's case, she lost what should have been a protector, a caregiver, a guide in life, a safe space, a father. She never had that, and now she never will. She could find that in her FIL (if she has one) now as an adult but it's not the same as having that safety from birth. And OP is allowed to grieve that. She is allowed to grieve what she never got but should have had. And I don't think anyone has told her that before
I am speaking from personal experience, losing a family member that abused me left me with a whole vortex of emotions. According to society, I should be happy they are dead and gone and can never hurt me again. And I am glad they are gone but I am sad too.
I also lost having a proper happy healthy relationship with this family member. I have forever lost having that family role filled by someone who cares. I am allowed to grieve what I never had and never will have, and so is OP
Absolutely. Very well said. ❤
You're right, you absolutely deserve to grieve what you didn't have.
Watch the episode "Free Churro" from Bojack Horseman, you won't be disappointed. :)
"You give up so easily" is code for "I wanted you to beg and plead"
That, or they wanted to argue to upset you because they don't like you or were bored. Maybe even all of the above. People are assholes sometimes
Yeah, I can’t stand that kind of behavior. It’s exactly the kind of thing some people use as an excuse to victim-blame (as in SA). This is why it’s so hard to get certain people to understand the concept of “no means no”.
@@Pretermit_Sound I feel so bad for the people who've had to deal with partners like this for so long that it warps their idea of consent. Imagine you think being super persistent is a healthy form of affection and works, only to find out that you're just scaring away someone you care about.
@@spongecakes1986 yep. Exactly. This is why scientifically accurate, and honest sex education is so important for a kid to have in school. Knowledge is power ✊🏼🇺🇸✌🏻
Many moons ago we were at the beach and my father threw a hissy fit that we weren’t beaching his way and he wasn’t going to spend time with us . Because you know siblings always get along, right? This was our queue to beg for forgiveness. Instead we made some sandwiches and had a picnic beachside. Guess who never threw that particular threat again?
@39:16 correct in most places it's illegal to kick people out or lock them out. It counts as abandonment, illegal dissposession, and can even violate tenancy laws
The begging the step child to come home, but follow rules triggered me. If the step parent wants the kid to come home then you he needs to compromise with the presumption that he's dealing with an adult.
As someone who has had to stop multiple attempted grapes from getting followed at night the religious fruitcake mom in the beginning has the wrong idea. You wanna stop being harassed? Alternative fashion is a much better deterrent. A full princess dress or dye your hair black put on kiss makeup and go full Gothic. Something that makes you stand out in dress keeps the creeps away a lot more
The only time I’ve been in combat boots, jeans, and flannel and been catcalled I was 15 and it was by a bunch of boys my age. Purple lipstick tends to scare people away from me if they don’t already know me though, or if they’re super conservative and know me they’ll tell me to take it off.
THIS. I've been harassed going out in shorts during summer. But if I change that outfit up with tons of chains and dark makeup, or super femme frills and lace with lots of blush, then people go out of their way to stay away from me.
Just wear combat fatigues or a shirt that says something about the 2nd ammendment, nobody will mess with you then.
This doesn't always work, but I think it can for similar reasons to people backing off if you bark at them. If you have a lot of attention on you, it can be harder for someone to get away with harassing you quietly. It can make you seem like more trouble than it's worth.
Or if you look like *they're* going to end up in a shallow grave...
The mother is absolutely insane😭. If someone is thinking of you naughtily that's a reflection on THEM not you. Everyone should wear what they want and people who sexualize and think terrible thoughts about women (and people) for dressing for themselves are the issue.
If you want to dress more revealing then power to you! Don't let others stop you. People will do bad things no matter what you wear, clothing doesn't change crap.
Literally why my mom frustrated me so deeply trying to police my clothes in modesty growing up, after raising me with “the most important part of the Bible is Jesus’s words.”
That part’s vagueness screwed me up in other ways and I eventually gave up and am now a Satanist who happens to also like Jesus a lot.
Yeah, my mom was like this to some degree, then got the shocked pikachu face look when I started wearing guy clothes cause I believed back then that guys didn't get assaulted that way (then I grew up and realized how dumb that thought was) so it was the 'safest' clothes for me to wear.
Well I do believe that the more revealing you go, the more harassment you'd find. But ultimately, it's in the person harassing you, not you wearing the clothing
also accusing atheism is unfair as religion doesn't cause morality and lack of it doesn't cause anything special either
dressing "modestly" is a bull5#173 concept as the people who care about it tend to brag a lot making them hypocrites if modesty means what I think it means.
It's frickin immodest to brag about covering your body (most if not all people do that to some extent most of the time and don't bother bragging) and it shouldn't matter in the slightest to anyone other than the wearer.
ridiculous victim blaming garbage
Man that whole series of texts made my skin crawl. I feel like maybe the mother had a good intention of having the rough talk with her daughter, about you know, being a woman (or afab or otherwise, really) you gotta deal with dangerous situations and although it fucking sucks, you have to know awful people exist... but then it goes so hard on purity and victim blaming.
I'm SO furious it's not a talk about safety or whatever! She's just telling her to hide herself!! Not only is it incredibly sexist and damaging, it's also fucking useless because predators couldn't give less of a shit about what their victim is wearing.
Personally, I like when you stamp multiple bingo spaces for one post. It's validating for those of us who have gone through similar abuse.
That's not a reason that I expected, but I love it.
My stepfather did the "curfew for 20+" thing as well. I had never had curfew before because I wasn't a social kid. Then when I was 20 I got my first boyfriend. I stayed the night at his house once and came home to my stepfather in a rage. He set me a midnight curfew. He said if I was even a minute past curfew he was kicking me out and taking back the car I was driving. (it was my mom's old car). One night I was crying because I did not want to go home and my boyfriend told me to just stay and that I could move in with him. Half an hour later my stepfather was at the door with all of my stuff and took the car. I now know this was illegal but at the time I didn't know that. Not long after he would literally throw my dog out of the house. She went to live with the neighbors down the road. All this was ages ago and while I do maintain a relationship with my Mom I do not allow my stepfather to have any control over me. The minute he does he will use it against you.
Did you ever get the dog back?
@@spongecakes1986 Sadly, no. I wasn't in a position to take her myself and I honestly didn't know which neighbors had her. My parents did, though, and my stepfather visited them and pretended he didn't know her. He was happy to let them take her. Years later I was at my parents' house when some people came to visit them and mentioned that they had to put their dog down. When I had a minute with my Mom I asked if those were the people that took Peaches in and she said yes. So that's how I got to find out my dog had died.
@@EvilBlackCat I'm so sorry. She deserved better
@@spongecakes1986 thank you. She really did.
Families don’t hide anything from each other? Don’t want to be in that family. I have no need to know my parents intimate details,or their money details. I don’t even need to know about mundane things like what they had for lunch. If they wish to share everything, more power to them. Doesn’t mean I have to tell them about anything.
You asked if we wanted to see the bingo 24/7. I really like the bingo, but making it something too common might kill it. I like how it is now: once every few videos.
I agree with this. Every joke, no matter how fun or liked, can be annoying if overdone.
I just shuffle the playlist on loop to sleep
Maybe traumatizethemback bingo?
yeah same here!
The Voice of Reason has entered the chat
There's an exhibition in Germany about what woman wore when they got experienced s//abuse . It's alled "Was ich anhatte..." (What I wore...) and shows the clothes and stories of 12 women and mostly their original clothing that they wore. They also have an Instagram account if anyone is interested. They were mostly "normal" clothes and not "suggestive" ones. Because of that I find those comments of what women wear and being responsible for what might happen to them/us nonsense.
And the thing with "modest" clothes gets even worse: in Egypt women wear abayas and a face veil. Egypt is one of the most dangerous countries in the world for women. The numbers of cases of SA and r*pe is astronimical.
I've heard of an exhibition similar to that, but it also had children's clothes
@@jyjaeskz this one has or had one of a 6-year old too 🤔
What killed me the most was seeing the kids' clothing in those exhibits 😢 I wish more people would see those walls and realise it's not the clothes, it's the bad people on the other end. It's not what you wore, and it's not your fault.
Yeah, there's a few of those exhibitions around the world, it's awesome.
On a side note, it's not even about what X is wearing, there's a reason other than "women like nurturing" for why maaaaany cultures prefer women to do funeral cares, and sometimes even let the body rot a bit before they take it in the funeral institutions 🥲
"Families don't hide things..." Dude, even in my reasonably healthy relationship with my parents, I have things I choose not to share with them. And I sure has heck know my dad has things he doesn't share with his mom.
"The way you dress makes people sin" is literally the same as "You're asking to get assaulted"
"Mom, I'm 42!" Wait, what? That's the third time today I've run into the number from the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. The answer to life, the universe, and everything!
better remember to bring a towel at that point, huh?
Just coincidence, so don't panic
@@tinyteapot6733and the salted peanuts
Where are the mice aliens?
19:35 even better... That message was LITERALLY TO BUY WEED imagine telling your kid you're not going to blow £40 on weed and then sending them a message meant for your weed dealer, that you just told them you weren't buying off, to spend EVEN MORE than the £40 she was asking for... Like her kid is some petty change piggybank whenever she needs a zoot
The dress code Karen needs to be sent the link to the "What She Was Wearing" site. It's not the clothes.
The one begging a family member to come back home and share their WhatsApp and Insta: before these apps, there was still FB. I had an aunt on my FB, and I went out to bar on Halloween, waiting for the live music for the night, because I knew the guys playing. Before they even got to the bar, I updated my status, and within 5 minutes, my mom called me, accusing me of driving drunk. My aunt had called my mom told her this. I hadn't even had a single drink yet. I blocked all of my family on all social media. Can't share shit with family.
People are insane, and so is social media.
I deleted social media.
The fact that no one I spoke with there aside kept contact with me after says just how shallow the relationships it forms are.
@@GretchZfor a sec I thought you meant social media as a whole and joke about Electric Lon McHusk
That mom that refuses to talk in person and demands to be cut out of their kids life... she wants to have that boundaries conversation via text bc there she can misinterpret all she wants (as she is showing right there). Its some stupid kind of powerplay, she desperately tries to keep the upper hand in conversation to control the narrative. Bet my ass on that she will go to her friends or husband later playing the victim bc her child was so ungrateful lol.
I so hoped that the OP would finish up with "Would you like to meet up to discuss your boundaries in person?"
Really loving the irony of the mom freaking out about her daughter wanting to set boundaries. She states a boundary - I don't want to talk to you, I want you to stop using my prime account, ETC - and then proceeds to get pissed when her daughter respects her boundary.
0:14 Why, thank you. My sister thinks I'm weird for using Vanilla Sandalwood scented stuff. She calls it a 'masculine scent'.
Sounds super nice, what is the name of the perfume are you're using?
I swear that some people have kids just to control them, withholding property will get you in actual trouble
That mom who thinks dressing modest will save you from creeps is wrong. Doesn't matter how modest and covered up you are, creeps don't care. I've had my fair share try hitting on me while I was wearing comfy clothes, and clothes to look nice. The clothes don't matter, creeps will be creeps regardless of what you wear.
It's definitely understandable to think that, since people want to believe they have control over whether bad things happen, and it's definitely a reasonable assumption to believe that sexier clothes equals sexier thoughts in others. It's a fine hypothesis, but unfortunately that's all it is. Fact is it doesn't matter, and more people need to realize that. The only way to control whether or not you get assaulted is to literally have a magical forcefield protecting you at all times.
The mom who smashed the urn... wow. I sincerely hope she gets disowned by the entire family. That is so far over the line.
41:12 trans dude here. When i was a kid, my parents used to punish me for being ‘unladylike’ for stuff like this to the point that even to this day i cant burp even if i want to- it comes out as a weird sigh instead every time.
"You give up too quickly" = They respect your boundaries and won't push them.
That first woman holy crap, and I thought my mom was irrationally paranoid o_o
19:14 that message wasn't intended for someone else she borrows money from, that was meant for her dealer. In Britain most of our money isn't green, so green as slang refers more commonly to weed than to money.
Poor Click forgetting to stamp "Threatening Housing" and missing that Bingo and the two Diagonals 😢
AW
When you dont get justice, especially with SA, it can be hard to get closure. Speaking from experience.
I'm sorry you experienced that 😞😞
Me too. I hope you're healing 💚
The fiancé of the poster with an abusive father that starts at 14:48 sounds like such a good catch. So mature and level-headed, I'm happy for her.
For the first one: Isn't the fact that she says "it still happens to me (that people talk to her with bad intentions)" sortof proof that it doesn't really work, and in the end the clothes don't do as much as you think they do? Because if they did then wouldn't it no longer be an issue? Doesn't this sortof prove that the problem isn't the clothing, but the people who assume other's intentions based purely on clothing and particularly think of women as pleasure-givers instead of human beings?
Its simple the clothes or what ever are all excuses to try and minimize the responsibility of the perp.
I'm an aroace being. I know how my mom thinks about the LGBT community. I don't know about how my dad feels about it, though. So I just tell them I don't want to get married or that I don't want kids, so why marry someone who wants kids. I love them, but I know I won't be accepted. So they'll never know.
It’s unfortunate that it’s an either/or.
It would be your choice to be out or not regardless, but I wish there was nothing putting pressure on you in either direction.
no support from relatives? Okeybfpund family troupe time it is!
Find your people hold thight and never let go. Seriously, sometimes we can find our family in friends, and it hurta and i stings that our parents cant be a part of that but
BELIVE ME, it gets better
I'm aroace too, and I'm sorry you have to deal with that. My parents and siblings aren't discriminatory and I wish more parents (and people in general) were the same
I actually told my dad that Obama legalized same-sex marriage the day it happened and asked how he felt about it bc we'd never discussed stuff like it before, and he basically said there was nothing wrong with it (he knew someone that was gay and liked him) So that definitely made me feel much better. I actually kinda think he might be bi, leaning more towards women. He was reluctant about me coming out as trans to him, but he turned around really quickly. In fact, he's been the only family member who rarely, if ever, misgenders or deadnames me, so that has been a huge shock to me
He was upset when I chose to change my last name to my mum's maiden name bc his family are the worst kind of bigot, but my mum explained to him why I felt that way. I did decide to take his middle name, though, so I think he'll be happy about that when I finally make it official ^^ As much of a turd he's been my whole life (he's nowhere near as bad) I could never hate him bc he's my dad, so I want him to know that without actually telling him with words
I hope things turn out better for you and that one day you can tell your dad if you ever want to
Honestly same I’m also aroace and I know my parents are really against the LGBTQIA+ community
54 and also Ace. Happily child-free by choice. And happily single as well. Spouse and babies isn't for everyone.
Oh my, you are rocking that "depressed beige" parent style Click. Perfectly related to the insane parent subreddit
ESD is there to come emotionally support the depressed out of "depressed beige"
Right?! The beige trend is terrible for kids 🤦♀️ Like, why don’t people realise that there’s a reason kids’ toys are made with brillant colours? Maybe it’s because kids actually need the visual stimulation?
My parents would constantly get mad at me for not doing everything EXACTLY like they wanted, "you may have cleaned the dishes but i'm still punishing you for not sorting the knives" and other stupid stuff like that. there was even a time where I fully considered either ending my life or ending my parents lives but my friends helped me get past that
Some of these text conversations genuinely feel like you're watching someone play a choose your own adventure game whilst purposefully picking every completely wrong option
2:41 i imagine actually wholesome as a sparkling figure just sitting in the corner terrified and the emoji face standing in the middle of the room bewildered to the point where they don't give a fluff anymore
LMFAO
im...im so tempted to draw that..... -hellfire
12:40 I would say “pot calling the kettle black”, but this is more like pot calling the SILVERWARE black! How can someone act so petulant, while telling someone to be more mature?! HOW?!
To be fair, silverware made of actual silver will go black (at least in part) if it's not stored and tended to properly
In my opinion, its usually just projection
The fact that I have never heard "beige mom fit" before and yet know exactly what it means is honestly amazing.
Of course, I'm glad that Bingo is back!
we all knew what it was, its just never had a name before xDD
I- that spiel about “being smarter” and “not trying to fit in with mentally I’ll people” and “knowing the truth” sounds painfully familiar.
The work computer one actually makes a lot of sense if you remember this person lives with their parents. The father is clearly mostly interested in controlling them, which requires them to stay living at home, which is more likely if they don't have a job, so that person getting fired over not completing a work assignment might just be the intended result. I doubt the father could tell you that's what he's doing, since he's probably convinced he's teaching his child a lesson. Abusive parents can come up with all kinds of weird mental gymnastics when it comes to keeping their adult children at home.
might as well get disown or runaway from the abusive household also don't they realize they might die some days and their "child" is depended on them so basically they die with their parent idk just my opinion
That first one was wild, looked like a UNO game where someone throws a bunch of +4's.
I actually had that happen to me once, it was beyond frustrating.
(The UNO example, for clarity).
@@lydiaboll2872 I feel you. Nothing hurts more then drawing 24.
Rainbow +8?! When did this exist?!
@@iantinothe amount of times me and my brothers would stack them to the point we ended up making it a house rule that we couldn’t go past like 10 or 12 😭
@@SnowDragon_2204 My friends' solution was to power up even more:
Being able to block and revert drawings, but also to play all cards that have the same number in one turn, the only requirement being match the first card of the stack.
That resulted in a gameplay between four players lasting around an hour, most of the time, a part of the players with comically large hands and the other with two or three and a lot of draws from everyone because no one there had a red nor a 2 card, and suddenly someone gets one red and frees up half their hand, and all of the sudden the player with most cards says "Uno!" and wins as first (and the game continues until the last one get out).
It was very chaotic but pretty fun.
That clothes one, yikes. I spent most of my life not able to dress myself for myself, becuase even as a child it was always *dress/behave FOR other people* and it fucked up my sense of self image entirely. Like, until I started working thru my dismorphia, I had to ask other people how I looked and have other people tell me what to wear, because I couldn’t fucking tell since it was instilled in me to care first and foremost about how other people saw you not about how you see yourself. That person just sounds like they went thru life socially unaware, but now wants to make it a *you* problem instead of a *them* problem, but telling someone they can’t dress or appear in away that aligns with their self image but instead align it with every possible external view of you is actually disgusting
Ohmygosh, you just made me realise something really detrimental about myself. I don’t know how to pick out clothing without my mom, and she recently passed away from cancer. She was very honest, and extremely picky, but the only person I could trust to give me the truth (she wasn’t mean about it either, the fault was always with the clothing itself). I have anxiety about updating my wardrobe. I’m terrified. But you just identified it, which is like giving me a hint about how I can be the one in charge… I don’t know how to explain what I’m saying but just… thank you for sharing that.
The sad truth is, whatever you wear, there is ALWAYS a possibility that people won't like how you look, and that is okay! Expressing yourself is important, and if people dislike how you look, isn't your fault, nor your problem. I used to rely on my mom for clothing advice as well, and her stepping back in my teenage years and letting me express myself helped me realize that, No matter what, if you see yourself as beautiful, that is all that matters ❤
There are two types of entitled parents, the kind that is entitled to their kids, and the kind that is entitled about their kids.
I love watching these.
36:40 Aww, that’s really sweet. Jesus really taking on the role of the Shepherd.
To the legal young adults with parental figures holding your ID and lab top or any other property. Call the police immediately and get them arrested and charged for theft of property.
When I lived with my mom, even after I became an adult, I didn't know it was illegal for her to withhold belongings I'd paid for.
I wasn't able to make friends in highschool, and didn't have much luck in college either, so I didn't have connections to tell me "hey, she's mistreating you."
Having someone to point out when something she said or did was abusive likely would have saved me a few attempts on my life, but I'm glad this kind of resource is available now, for others who are in the situation I used to be in, who really need this info.
10:45 I let my dad borrow my laptop for a few weeks after his died. I explicitly told him I wanted it returned to me because I still had important stuff on it.
After several months of hemming and hawing whenever I asked about it, he finally told me he "lost" it. Never got so much as an apology.
My parents used to pretend to go along and help with plans I have, only to, at the very last minute, try to sabotage and/or just stop helping.
“Well, we thought you would change your mind.”
If you don’t want to help, tell me you don’t want to help!
6 years NC.
I honestly feel bad for the first mom. It’s abundantly clear that she’s had something happen to her and has been victim blamed. She should get therapy instead of dumping it on her kid tho…
37:27
That Double Bingo is literally the shape of a cross. Absolutely perfect.
Absolutely love the bingo. It makes some of these harder to tolerate subreddits more bearable.
Best course of action:
A) NC (no contact)
B) Retirement home
C) Therapy
D) All of the above
Even a retirement home is too good for some parents, istg
d
@@Sly-Moose agreed. A retirement home is a luxury some don't deserve. A cold, damp ditch to rot in is more befitting for some "parents"
D, final answer!
D!!!!!!
WAKE UP ITS CLICCY TIME
I BE WAKING
IM AWAKE
Wake me up before you go go ✨✨
Don't leave me hanging on like a yo-yo ✨✨
wake up babe click posted
My oldest gave me a 10 day notice for his wedding for the 11th of May. And he lives over 1k miles away.
(Worse -- I'm broke af)
I can see many of these parents losing it if any of their kids were to do what my son did.
Despite my disappointment, I still understand that it's his life. He's old enough.
I can find other ways to celebrate with him & my future DIL.
His happiness is my focus no matter what.
I just don't understand why parents can't learn to control their emotions & be more supportive -- allow their child(ren) to choose their own path (with some guidance as needed).
You said it yourself: they can't control their emotions.
More great parents like you please!
Because, unlike you, they see their kids as property, not people. 😠
@@John_Weiss quite unfortunate. They are our future.
@@rocky-fuller what's sad is -- what I do should be the "norm" ...
Ijs..
But thank you very much! ❤❤
Has had “Threatening house” numerous times and never fills it in.
That story at 24:05 gives me such PTSD, man... A very close family member (married in) I tolerated for way longer than I should have, recently went nuclear on me because I woundn't delay my own plans just so she could be 1st it... And man... She did that same thing! You analyze her behaviour and tell her why she is wrong and all she does is throwing the exact same words back at you, despite you not doing any of it. I eventually had to block her and break up contact because trying to reason with her was a waste of time...
hey maybe you should divorce her just saying
What you call "controlling power moves" has a name, it's called "master techniques" and is demeaning manipulation.
That makes me think of certain things that can be great fun between consenting adults, so I would rather use his terminology for these sorts of people…
Okay, I’ll be honest. I didn’t think “beige mom fit” when I saw that outfit…. I thought “Indiana Jones”.
My mom likes to be overly involved. If it were just dropping me off at school everyday and similar things, I wouldn't have thought much about it. However, mom wanted to me with me and my siblings every time we went out of the house. Even if a friends' parent would be there. As though we would want to hang out with her in addition to our friends.
Mom thinks we're super close when in reality she knows very little about me. I lost all trust in her when she read my very private journals and insisted I needed to date a guy who tried to touch me inappropriately during high school. She wouldn't let me finish a sentence when I tried telling her about the touching.
If you have evidence, you should go to a lawyer and not the police. Lawyers want to help their clients and with fail-proof evidence they'll basically be fighting over you as a client.
My parents are very much the “families don’t hide things” type. My mom is always asking for stuff like my Instagram and TikTok usernames, the name of my Etsy store, and specific plans I have and places I go in my personal time. Not only is it absurd because I don’t live with them anymore (I’m 21, moved out of my hometown, and going into my last year of college), but they’ll interrogate me and imply I’m doing “weird things” when I refuse to tell them. The truth is that I don’t have any “reasons” to hide things and the most “adult” thing I do is getting piercings and going to the bar every so often, but I want to keep my adult life separate from theirs. I don’t know any other adults who are expected to give their parents constant updates as if they’re teens on curfew, and I’m exhausted by them implying that I’m some kind of delinquent for wanting to have a personal life.
I say yes. That first rant deserved a solo bingo.
I personally enjoy the bingo cards. Not only is it bringing levity to what can be some really awful posts, but it also helps draw attention to the root of what makes those posts problematic. I’ve learned a lot about how to identify toxic behaviors and what they are trying to do by watching these bingos break down the extreme versions. Thank you for doing these, and I look forward to more.
For the 1st one with the mom going on the giant clothes policing rant and decided our southern boarders are where people are being assaulted and trafficked:
If immigrants (particularly ones from the central and southern Americas,) are such a problem then why is it here, OHIO, that has the highest rates of human trafficking and is like 6th in number of reported SAs?
“Why don’t u respect me as I throw a tamper tantrum as a 55 year old” called out every abusive Gen X’s out there, including my mom lmao
Honestly with the first mom, I've been sexually harassed over my body, my clothes, and my VOICE. Imagine just having a casual conversation with someone on the phone or talking to yourself and some guy goes up to you and immediately starts hitting on you in a very gross way as well as making sexual comments about you just because he thought your voice was hot.
I've experienced that too. And I was a young boy at the time.
Whoever you are, whatever you do, there's always the possibility of someone reacting creepily because of it. But that doesn't mean you should change your body, your clothing style or even your voice. Not only because that would be giving in, but because there will also be creeps who react to these changes: You're Quasimodo in a burka who talks like Kermit now? You just have to wait long enough until you get harassed for that too.
It's more fulfilling to be the way you feel comfortable and not the way you speculate that you will be harassed less.
"Before I go completely unhinged" bit late for that, buddy 😭
heeheehee
The situation with the 20 year old asking for a laptop that he/she owns. There is just one thing you can do with parents like this, that’s asking nicely, explain and ask one more time. Still no? Call the police and let them come to get your laptop. I have parents like this, where you indeed need to put “disclaimers” that you are just generally saying something, not mad, not intended badly….it’s absolutely exhausting.
The man's DEFINITELY forgotten one or two 'threatening housing'
Could have gotten him another bingo
Best response to the "You must dress modestly, sexual thoughts are a sin" people, in the USA, is: "What, are you a terrorist, sounds hell of a lot like what the Taliban are teaching!"
"You know what ties a good family together? Crime."
Indeed, Cliccy, just ask the italians-
Am Italian, can confirm 👍
at least italians are being honest they do crimes for money purpose or whatnot rather than.... these "parent"