Except I believe religion causes narcissism and abrahamic is predatory, anti woman/anti protective mother. Pro silence women. Pro support narcissist predators. Pro misogyny. What if the devil fooled people by twisting the context in order to cause this? What if praying is a way of doing nothing to fix anything? What if it made no sense to "worship" a God? Why would God want to be worshipped by their creations?
Being with any narcissist is always a constant balancing act , if you don't bother with them they will either chase or chastise you , it's relentless . When you have had enough , or are simply exhausted from the endless games , it is rarely a walk away free situation , you must be punished and they WILL seek revenge . Thankfully it's wonderful content like yours , Paula , that continues to enlighten and empower us to avoid and hold our own against these very dark , deeply troubled and lost souls ! 💪🙏❤️
So bang on Point in every word. Funny enough my Narcistic sister is living in Tralee Co.Kerry. She's what you might call " a Plilar of the Church" ! Toxic as F........K ! You have lifted my day. Thanks so much.
5:20am in Australia. I'm so excited to see this topic dear Paula and can't wait to "get into it" as you tell us😊 God has used you in my life. Thank you for caring❤
Yes they live above the law and ignore judge orders. Its best to handle all negotiations through the court. Give them the opportunity to break the law and do what they do best disobey order!
I did that and yesterday the same judge who ordered him to pay bankruptcy payment revised her own civil Contempt Order and let him off the hook. Having a hard time understanding God's will in this. More court to come. But thank you Paula, I love your videos
Whenever children are involved it's best to document everything. Using a calendar is Very helpful especially to document when they showed up for visitation, when they did Not show., if they were late etc. You can Color Code it to make it easy for others to see the pattern of what's happening. So much happens you Have to document everything!! Safety first and foremost. Remember, conversation is their Biggest weapon, NO contact is vital! Thank you Paula!!!!! Your light shines bright into the corners of our lives and helps us So!!
Thank you Paula. Im in court in 3 weeks fighting for custody, hes dragged it out 2.5 years, delayed, lied, still lying, blaming. I cant wait to cross examine him, with his non existent evidence by destroying him with my evidence on him. It'll be delicious watching him realise I've documented everything from day one. Cant wait! Ive enrolled at college for training to be a counsellor, because of people like you, helping people like us ❤
Thank you, Paula. It's so hard when both narcissists are your parents and even worse, your husband and his family. There are so many narcissists in this world. Education is the key, know thy enemies. The covert malignant narcissists are the worst to deal with. Married to one. Silent is the key when you're dealing with these horrible creatures. When you get out, stay out if possible. They will destroy you in every way that they can. Financially, your complete health is also affected by them. They are your enemy. Period, it's all a game to them. One, they have to be the winners, all the time. Karma will come to them.
The emotional toll is the death blow. I just had a weird thought about this, though, while watching the video. I had little to no emotional support when I went through my ordeal with my adversary. However, looking back now, I can clearly see that it was my emotional state that carried me through hell. It’s taken me a lot of work, work on myself by myself as well as working with a therapist, to get me to a stronger state of being. However, I am still triggered by specific situations, not by people who are trying to intentionally hurt me. It’s PTSD. 🤷🏻♀️ My weird thought was that if a person who’s been through this or going through this now has at least one person who is emotionally supportive, then would something like role-playing be beneficial? The idea is that the support person would play the role of the narcissist and attempt to say and do things that the narcissist would in order to get the emotional reaction from the target person/victim. This would have to be a planned strategy (planned time, place, and when the target person says STOP, that would end the “session” immediately). The goal would be like practicing but with someone who is considered a safe person and it would stop as soon as the time set is up or the person says to stop it. I think I would have benefited by doing something like this or similar and I definitely think it would be beneficial for me now because I have this intuitive feeling that my adversary will be coming back around soon. I felt this way about one of her flying monkeys and I called it for 3-4 months before she did show up via a phone call. What do you think about something like this, Paula? Some sort of a training program for becoming non-reactive to the narcissistic monsters? I’m really interested in your thoughts on this.
@@NarcCon Thank you for your feedback. Coaching seems like it’s really interesting. I’ve seen hundreds of narcissist channels, but you have a certain authenticity about you that I really appreciate. Congratulations on your new book. I’m going to be buying it beginning of October. 💖
I had to get a lawyer, he finally had to get one. He has his lawyer reply every 2 weeks lolol It's comical really. They have tried twice now to get me to go to the lawyers office. I refuse to bite though. Also, hang up calls have resumed so I believe it's him using others phones to reach me. I've spend many thousands already in lawyers and I'm not wanting nor can I afford to go much further. Looking forward to hearing your 14 points!!!
One thing that also worked for me, was to trigger the Narcissist in a nonchalant way, whilst also being emotionless (if it’s safe and they don’t have a tendency for violence, etc). We know what triggers them. It can be subtle comments that no-one else would notice. They simply won’t do behaviours that mean having to deal with their own shame and deteriorating mask. If they shared crimes they committed in the past (theft, fraud, etc), refer to it nonchalantly. They start getting scared; particularly if this is combined with the fact that you are not behaving or reacting as they expected. Really they are very vulnerable and weak.
Dear Coach Paula! The hat is gorgeous! I can just see you wearing it and looking stunning! Congrats on the upcoming weddings of your sons, soon to be, and the one later. Wanted to mention how some counselors downplay the near epidemic of "ill-intended, " mean spirited people just about wherever one goes! The saying, "One bad apple can spoil the barrel!" It is true, I believe. And one narcissist can bring out the very worst in people that lean back and forth from being selfish beyond healthy and holy, and to totally unstable, unpredictable, unsafe, etc... Recently John Daloney said, wrongly in my opinion, that the word "narcissist" is thrown around too much. Well, then I'd say that there are quite a lot of toxic people, ill-intended ones in the world. Sadly. Tragically. As little kids we called them "bad guys." We knew instinctively and exactly what we meant. We had no words or fancy language to explain what we perceived, but we instinctively knew who those people were for the most part. They showed patterns of behavior and kids are sharp enough to pick up on these things often. Imho. If kids role play and one says, Okay, you play the bad guy, and I'll play the good guy. Well we knew how to play those roles. Of course, we don't want to be overly judgemental at any age, but we do need to honor our instincts and intuition more often than we do, maybe. 😊
Your a great lady,your kindness ,caring and understanding is a bright light of hope and help negotiating a way through the darkness.Narcisists are so insane.
Thank you. This came at the perfect time. I let myself be at the mercy of a malignant narc to access a home I just finished building. HUGE mistake. He pretended to be a father figure/drinking buddy, for many years, and the mask finally came off. $100k+ later. He wants me gone and can't wait to sift through my ashes. Thanks to you, Kris Reece, and Scott Rouse, I now know what I'm dealing with. What's worse is more of his family is involved. When this situation finally bursts open, the family will split. You coach?
Great video Paula ! 3 years now into divorce procedure , everything you said is spot on . I think Patience is important , don’t rush the divorce , it gives you the time to heal up and take distance from the narc and be more emotionally balanced , either way , they will delay ! Also , your lawyer is not your therapist , see the lawyer in person , come prepared and spend no more than 15 minutes saying what you want or asking questions , lawyers generally cost 350 euros an hour !!! And finally , no contact and never , ever let the narc know what you really want .
Thank you so much. I am meeting my lawyer today. I watch you all the time, you have given me the strength to push forward. The only problem I will face is that the narc and I are under the same roof as I have my menagerie and can’t leave. I need strength to negotiate without intimidation.
Valuable insight and advice as ever Paula. As a widower I eventually met a lovely lady, but red flags became evident after a short time. From advice I emphasised our split was what she really wanted, I agreed not to spread any negative reasons. No contact for several months now. Bless you 🙏
Very wise advice Paula! Sometimes it seems as though you have been reading the script of my life with the Narcissist (ex). I only wish I knew then what I know now, I would have realised that attempting to negotiate anything was a complete waste of time and energy. Even when you think that you have agreed on something, the narc will almost invariably give no credence to that agreement. It is behaviour that makes no sense at all until you began to educate yourself on narcissism. Thanks as always 🙏
After being legally evicted, He called the police and refused to leave until I gave him my dog. (For which he never Ever bought food for) He was infatuated by the attention my dog brought him. I found out later he had a list of people ready for puppies,he was trying to breed her without my consent.
You’ve also got to know what you’re dealing with. A man fighting for his kids in family court is up against it, the system is against you. Know your limitations and don’t get your hopes up, that’s the reality. Don’t ever give up though! Fight!
I went into a business commercial real estate deal with my father in law where I found the trades and permits and even the architect who drew the plans. When he sold the property he kept all the profits for himself, telling me over dinner how stupid I was to do what I did for him as he would never have been there for me. His narcissistic delight in pointing out my stupidity bordered on a spider catching a fly in his web, as there was no emotion. To him the game was over and he won. Now he spends his time targeting me with abuse and bullying me and telling anyone that will listen how I am unbalanced and that I cheated him, serving his narcissistic need for attention and sympathy. His objective today is to ruin me financially and end my existence physically and my spirit emotionally by any and all means possible.
Wow, thank youuuu, Paula. So timely. I needed to hear this - today, this week! Love the way you moderate our disdain for these "creatures" P.s. do like the hat, but you should have tried it on for us😁
!!!!!!!!!!!SUCCESS STORY !!!!!!!!!!!!........ I! Feel completely different now. It's all finished!:) I feel so great!!:) .....the biggest part of it, I really do BELIEVE is that it's about!!!! ME! not him!:) .....and if he came round again today, I'd be ready for all the questions. And ya know what I'd say? ...." I don't want to answer questions. " he !!!! Doesn't matter. It's about Meeeee!:) not him. And now, it's so good to just enjoy listening to Paula, but in a totally different way!:) I'm happy now!:)
Paula ~ Excellent video as always. I would echo your point that your attorneys are not your counselors and it's really important to find emotional support outside of your lawyers. Your lawyers are there to represent you, not be your therapist. Many years ago, I hired two attorneys to represent me in a professional situation. It was a 2.5 year battle. I was very fortunate to have a (plutonic) friend support me through the process. But, in retrospect, it was way too much to place upon him and I should have had professional therapeutic help. I understand these situations can be difficult because money was very tight, but I think ultimately people will fair better if they have either professional therapeutic support and/or the support of several close friends. I realize this is easier said than done because money is definitely a factor in these situations.
My narcissist tried that shit . Threaten to get me out of our home when I stopped taking there shit they snapped and attacked me with a metal pole . Now they have a court ordered DVO and is living with there parents . The mums a narcissist and the dad’s an enabler . I have found the only way to beat a narcissist is to get on there level they teach you how to do it there very predictable . It’s not easy but you get to a place when you have had enough mine was 6years in I was done . You have to set really strong boundaries and stick to them they can’t handle it . Educate yourself on narcissism once you learn there very , very predictable that’s your super power
I’m not one to comment much online. But I want everyone watching this video to take notes and follow the guidance to the T. She is absolutely DEAD ON I didn’t know any of this before my split. Was always counting on some awakening. NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN w a narcissist. Get a lawyer (borrow money from whoever if needed) and litigate in court. No mediation. Court. I lost time w my kids, my reputation, my dog, my apartment and ended up w a parenting agreement that I was not on board to begin with. Now if you’re armed w an attorney who’s willing to support you on the journey, you go all the way to trial. No negotiation, no mediation. I insist. This is the best money you will ever spend in your lifetime.
Hi Paula. You skipped over #9 out of the #14 strategies for us. I really appreciate this I’m going thru divorce with my narcissistic husband of 2 years no kids and the only thing we have together is a construction loan still building a house and he abandoned that since he left haven’t paid or help on anything I’ve been paying for everything. But God!
My narcissist ex, went into a deep rage when I walked away from the relationship. He was physically abusive and the policce charged him with assault. I am a witness, and he goes to court end of this month. Furthermore, I hired a lawyer to sue him for a recreational vehicle I nearly only owned....he had put it in his name and forged my signature and made two fraudulent transactions. I have 100% evidence. I have a restraining order - this has been going on for about 5 months now. QUESTION: Am I safe from contact from him after the one year restraining order runs out? Now that he is infuriated? Or do I remain diligent and apply yearly for restraining order? (In the past, he always hoovered....even after an 8 month break up. I have always been submissive in the past, but have been in therapy and have absolutely NO desire to be with him.) I don't think he knew I had "this" in me , and I know he is a very unstable and vindictive person. Thanks in advance if anyone can tell me what their experience was/is.
Love the hat, love thrift shopping, you can treat yourself and feel great for not spending too much money joining in recycling. Great video, great advice, a question, will your book be coming out as an audio book anytime in the future? I like listening rather than reading these days and your voice is really nice to listen to? Perhaps you can tell us in your next video please?
Thank you Paula for this video. I am going through my divorce the now with my ex and he has tried every tactic you have described on here and more. This video has helped a lot to know to keep going. Hopefully I will get my divorce soon and me and my children will finally be free. Thank you for your tips and wisdom. 🙏🥰💖x
Thank you for these strategies I never seen this explained how you did ❤ since we have children together I document everything when it comes to dealing with my ex thank you so much Paula ❤❤
Only times to deal with these narcissist is when you have children with them or divorcing and sharing property and finances other than that no contact.
At the time of my divorce I didn’t realize he was a narcissist. Very covert. He initiated the divorce. Caught me flat-footed. He had been planning it for at least two years. His main tactic was passive aggressive silence. He would not answer questions about financial matters. He went silent and only finally stopped the silent treatment when his attorney explained to him that my attorney was going to file a court order to force my ex to reveal information. By the way, my ex was furious when I hired my own attorney. My ex thought I was going to go along with whatever he decided was a fair settlement.
On Friday 13th last week I heard a voice call out to me. It was my ex with whom I have had no contact - zero - for 18 years. She is still married to the guy she married within 6 months of us breaking up. The person she began dating whilst we were still together. He had land and built a big house which was like light to a moth 18 years ago. Part of me is surprised that she has stayed with him, part of me is not at all surprised. I did grey stone.
Get up at 3.30am and creep down the garden path with a stick over your shoulder like Dick Whitington, a wee bag made of cloth with cheese and bread in it, perhaps red in colour.
It is surprising how Narc Con's explanations about NPD are accurate at least in my case, and how NPD people seem to share the same very specific (and many) toxic characteristics. In my case the person did indeed take one to two weeks for each small reply during the divorce process. Good luck for her in hell with what she could get from me, though I guess she would just feel home.
now i know .. why .. i said .. love you maam .. its our 'love & empathy' .. that get preyed on .. after healin .. or on the way to healing .. you .. will be a predator .. if you need to
I need this. He came back 2 days ago to ask about some paperwork I did for him when we were together. He abandoned me for new supply but still denies it. I told him i'm away for a few days so I've bought myself some time but how do I keep him away next time? The half an hour I spoke to him was full of lies and attempts to manipulate me.
WEAPONISED LOVE: Understanding how Narcissists Think is Key to Protect, Heal and Thrive a.co/d/g4bB4MI
GREAT! THANKS
Dealing with a narc is dealing with Satan. Put on the armor of God, keep prayed up and listen to wise people like Paula! excellent advice. thank you.
😄 ✅
@@marypatterson8053 they belong to the original narcissist he taught them all evil
Except I believe religion causes narcissism and abrahamic is predatory, anti woman/anti protective mother. Pro silence women. Pro support narcissist predators. Pro misogyny. What if the devil fooled people by twisting the context in order to cause this? What if praying is a way of doing nothing to fix anything? What if it made no sense to "worship" a God? Why would God want to be worshipped by their creations?
Being with any narcissist is always a constant balancing act , if you don't bother with them they will either chase or chastise you , it's relentless . When you have had enough , or are simply exhausted from the endless games , it is rarely a walk away free situation , you must be punished and they WILL seek revenge . Thankfully it's wonderful content like yours , Paula , that continues to enlighten and empower us to avoid and hold our own against these very dark , deeply troubled and lost souls ! 💪🙏❤️
🙏🙋♀️
I’ve gained so much knowledge through you videos. Thank you so much. May God continue to give you the strength, wisdom and knowledge to continue 🙏🏽
I appreciate that 🙏🌹
So bang on Point in every word. Funny enough my Narcistic sister is living in Tralee Co.Kerry. She's what you might call " a Plilar of the Church" ! Toxic as F........K ! You have lifted my day. Thanks so much.
I’ll definitely go home via Mallow so Brian..🤓..hope you don’t mind the humour
@@NarcCon way as well laugh as cry. Thanks 👍
5:20am in Australia. I'm so excited to see this topic dear Paula and can't wait to "get into it" as you tell us😊 God has used you in my life. Thank you for caring❤
Yes they live above the law and ignore judge orders. Its best to handle all negotiations through the court. Give them the opportunity to break the law and do what they do best disobey order!
I did that and yesterday the same judge who ordered him to pay bankruptcy payment revised her own civil Contempt Order and let him off the hook. Having a hard time understanding God's will in this. More court to come. But thank you Paula, I love your videos
When you identify narcissist, create DISTANCE before negotiations + arrange one person on your side.
🤣✅
Absolutely
Just got your book in the mail last night....will be getting started after work today...so excited and looking forward to it!!!
Hope you enjoy it! 🌹
Whenever children are involved it's best to document everything. Using a calendar is Very helpful especially to document when they showed up for visitation, when they did Not show., if they were late etc. You can Color Code it to make it easy for others to see the pattern of what's happening. So much happens you Have to document everything!! Safety first and foremost. Remember, conversation is their Biggest weapon, NO contact is vital! Thank you Paula!!!!! Your light shines bright into the corners of our lives and helps us So!!
Nice glasses. Your dog really knows how to relax
Sure does he’s an expert at it 🤓🐕
Interesting topic, I haven't seen this covered before. I like the relaxed dog in the background too
Thank you Paula. Im in court in 3 weeks fighting for custody, hes dragged it out 2.5 years, delayed, lied, still lying, blaming. I cant wait to cross examine him, with his non existent evidence by destroying him with my evidence on him. It'll be delicious watching him realise I've documented everything from day one. Cant wait! Ive enrolled at college for training to be a counsellor, because of people like you, helping people like us ❤
Best of luck in court 🙏🌹
Thanks so much Paula and Remy🐾🙏🐶
Thank you, Paula. It's so hard when both narcissists are your parents and even worse, your husband and his family. There are so many narcissists in this world. Education is the key, know thy enemies. The covert malignant narcissists are the worst to deal with. Married to one. Silent is the key when you're dealing with these horrible creatures. When you get out, stay out if possible. They will destroy you in every way that they can. Financially, your complete health is also affected by them. They are your enemy. Period, it's all a game to them. One, they have to be the winners, all the time. Karma will come to them.
The emotional toll is the death blow. I just had a weird thought about this, though, while watching the video. I had little to no emotional support when I went through my ordeal with my adversary. However, looking back now, I can clearly see that it was my emotional state that carried me through hell. It’s taken me a lot of work, work on myself by myself as well as working with a therapist, to get me to a stronger state of being. However, I am still triggered by specific situations, not by people who are trying to intentionally hurt me. It’s PTSD. 🤷🏻♀️
My weird thought was that if a person who’s been through this or going through this now has at least one person who is emotionally supportive, then would something like role-playing be beneficial? The idea is that the support person would play the role of the narcissist and attempt to say and do things that the narcissist would in order to get the emotional reaction from the target person/victim. This would have to be a planned strategy (planned time, place, and when the target person says STOP, that would end the “session” immediately). The goal would be like practicing but with someone who is considered a safe person and it would stop as soon as the time set is up or the person says to stop it.
I think I would have benefited by doing something like this or similar and I definitely think it would be beneficial for me now because I have this intuitive feeling that my adversary will be coming back around soon. I felt this way about one of her flying monkeys and I called it for 3-4 months before she did show up via a phone call.
What do you think about something like this, Paula? Some sort of a training program for becoming non-reactive to the narcissistic monsters? I’m really interested in your thoughts on this.
Definitely in a how to deal with narcissists scenario…coaching works like that 🌹
@@NarcCon Thank you for your feedback. Coaching seems like it’s really interesting.
I’ve seen hundreds of narcissist channels, but you have a certain authenticity about you that I really appreciate. Congratulations on your new book. I’m going to be buying it beginning of October. 💖
I love how Remy is so comfortable as you talk about serious narc stuff Paula.
"...while this person is waiting in the background to get married...etc..." as Paula's pointing to sleeping Remy! So good!❤
They just think how complicated they make it
I had to get a lawyer, he finally had to get one. He has his lawyer reply every 2 weeks lolol It's comical really. They have tried twice now to get me to go to the lawyers office. I refuse to bite though. Also, hang up calls have resumed so I believe it's him using others phones to reach me. I've spend many thousands already in lawyers and I'm not wanting nor can I afford to go much further. Looking forward to hearing your 14 points!!!
One thing that also worked for me, was to trigger the Narcissist in a nonchalant way, whilst also being emotionless (if it’s safe and they don’t have a tendency for violence, etc). We know what triggers them. It can be subtle comments that no-one else would notice. They simply won’t do behaviours that mean having to deal with their own shame and deteriorating mask. If they shared crimes they committed in the past (theft, fraud, etc), refer to it nonchalantly. They start getting scared; particularly if this is combined with the fact that you are not behaving or reacting as they expected. Really they are very vulnerable and weak.
You don't negotiate with a narcissist you leave.
Dear Coach Paula!
The hat is gorgeous! I can just see you wearing it and looking stunning! Congrats on the upcoming weddings of your sons, soon to be, and the one later.
Wanted to mention how some counselors downplay the near epidemic of "ill-intended, " mean spirited people just about wherever one goes! The saying, "One bad apple can spoil the barrel!" It is true, I believe. And one narcissist can bring out the very worst in people that lean back and forth from being selfish beyond healthy and holy, and to totally unstable, unpredictable, unsafe, etc...
Recently John Daloney said, wrongly in my opinion, that the word "narcissist" is thrown around too much. Well, then I'd say that there are quite a lot of toxic people, ill-intended ones in the world. Sadly. Tragically.
As little kids we called them "bad guys." We knew instinctively and exactly what we meant. We had no words or fancy language to explain what we perceived, but we instinctively knew who those people were for the most part. They showed patterns of behavior and kids are sharp enough to pick up on these things often. Imho.
If kids role play and one says, Okay, you play the bad guy, and I'll play the good guy. Well we knew how to play those roles. Of course, we don't want to be overly judgemental at any age, but we do need to honor our instincts and intuition more often than we do, maybe. 😊
Your a great lady,your kindness ,caring and understanding is a bright light of hope and help negotiating a way through the darkness.Narcisists are so insane.
LOVE the hat Paula!! You’re going to be a stunning mother-of-the-groom. I see that you’re practicing what you preach 🙋♀️👏🏼
Oh thank you!
Thank you. This came at the perfect time. I let myself be at the mercy of a malignant narc to access a home I just finished building. HUGE mistake. He pretended to be a father figure/drinking buddy, for many years, and the mask finally came off. $100k+ later. He wants me gone and can't wait to sift through my ashes. Thanks to you, Kris Reece, and Scott Rouse, I now know what I'm dealing with. What's worse is more of his family is involved. When this situation finally bursts open, the family will split.
You coach?
Yes narcscon@gmail.com
Great video Paula ! 3 years now into divorce procedure , everything you said is spot on . I think Patience is important , don’t rush the divorce , it gives you the time to heal up and take distance from the narc and be more emotionally balanced , either way , they will delay ! Also , your lawyer is not your therapist , see the lawyer in person , come prepared and spend no more than 15 minutes saying what you want or asking questions , lawyers generally cost 350 euros an hour !!! And finally , no contact and never , ever let the narc know what you really want .
🙏🙋♀️..tks Leslie
Thanks for your advise. I'm going to be there in 3 weeks. I wrote down all you said. ❤
Wonderful!
You look absolutely radiant, our dear Paula ❤
Oh thank you!
Thank you so much. I am meeting my lawyer today. I watch you all the time, you have given me the strength to push forward. The only problem I will face is that the narc and I are under the same roof as I have my menagerie and can’t leave. I need strength to negotiate without intimidation.
You got this!
Valuable insight and advice as ever Paula. As a widower I eventually met a lovely lady, but red flags became evident after a short time. From advice I emphasised our split was what she really wanted, I agreed not to spread any negative reasons. No contact for several months now. Bless you 🙏
Do not negotiate; go out and stay out.
Very wise advice Paula! Sometimes it seems as though you have been reading the script of my life with the Narcissist (ex).
I only wish I knew then what I know now, I would have realised that attempting to negotiate anything was a complete waste of time and energy. Even when you think that you have agreed on something, the narc will almost invariably give no credence to that agreement. It is behaviour that makes no sense at all until you began to educate yourself on narcissism.
Thanks as always 🙏
🙋♀️
These are excellent strategies most importantly BE UNPREDICTABLE & show no mercy especially if this is for custody!
Thank you for your wise advice. 💝🙏😇
Good night Paula and peaceful Remy lol 😂 always love to see him resting on his favorite spot 😊🤍🤍
After being legally evicted, He called the police and refused to leave until I gave him my dog. (For which he never Ever bought food for) He was infatuated by the attention my dog brought him. I found out later he had a list of people ready for puppies,he was trying to breed her without my consent.
My Dog👹😵💫🤡
Fight for her 🌹
You’ve also got to know what you’re dealing with. A man fighting for his kids in family court is up against it, the system is against you. Know your limitations and don’t get your hopes up, that’s the reality. Don’t ever give up though! Fight!
Absolutely SPOT ON - knowledge 💣 dropped! 😊
Thanks Tracy 🤓
Thank you so much Paula. This was so beneficial and insightful.
I went into a business commercial real estate deal with my father in law where I found the trades and permits and even the architect who drew the plans. When he sold the property he kept all the profits for himself, telling me over dinner how stupid I was to do what I did for him as he would never have been there for me. His narcissistic delight in pointing out my stupidity bordered on a spider catching a fly in his web, as there was no emotion. To him the game was over and he won. Now he spends his time targeting me with abuse and bullying me and telling anyone that will listen how I am unbalanced and that I cheated him, serving his narcissistic need for attention and sympathy. His objective today is to ruin me financially and end my existence physically and my spirit emotionally by any and all means possible.
No contact. Have no needs for him to use against you.
May God bless and protect you from the evil coming against you. I pray in Jesus' name. Amen.
Wow, thank youuuu, Paula. So timely. I needed to hear this - today, this week!
Love the way you moderate our disdain for these "creatures"
P.s. do like the hat, but you should have tried it on for us😁
The dog. I am the dog on the couch. Hahaha. This was helpful, thank you!
🙋♀️🐕
Fantastic messages on this one! Love the sleeping Remi, and love your new hat!
Thanks so much!
!!!!!!!!!!!SUCCESS STORY !!!!!!!!!!!!........
I! Feel completely different now. It's all finished!:) I feel so great!!:) .....the biggest part of it, I really do BELIEVE is that it's about!!!! ME! not him!:) .....and if he came round again today, I'd be ready for all the questions. And ya know what I'd say? ...." I don't want to answer questions. " he !!!! Doesn't matter. It's about Meeeee!:) not him. And now, it's so good to just enjoy listening to Paula, but in a totally different way!:) I'm happy now!:)
Paula ~ Excellent video as always. I would echo your point that your attorneys are not your counselors and it's really important to find emotional support outside of your lawyers. Your lawyers are there to represent you, not be your therapist. Many years ago, I hired two attorneys to represent me in a professional situation. It was a 2.5 year battle. I was very fortunate to have a (plutonic) friend support me through the process. But, in retrospect, it was way too much to place upon him and I should have had professional therapeutic help. I understand these situations can be difficult because money was very tight, but I think ultimately people will fair better if they have either professional therapeutic support and/or the support of several close friends. I realize this is easier said than done because money is definitely a factor in these situations.
havent see your potcast .. but .. just wanna say .. love you maam .. and good day everyone
My narcissist tried that shit . Threaten to get me out of our home when I stopped taking there shit they snapped and attacked me with a metal pole .
Now they have a court ordered DVO and is living with there parents .
The mums a narcissist and the dad’s an enabler .
I have found the only way to beat a narcissist is to get on there level they teach you how to do it there very predictable . It’s not easy but you get to a place when you have had enough mine was 6years in I was done .
You have to set really strong boundaries and stick to them they can’t handle it .
Educate yourself on narcissism once you learn there very , very predictable that’s your super power
I’m not one to comment much online. But I want everyone watching this video to take notes and follow the guidance to the T.
She is absolutely DEAD ON
I didn’t know any of this before my split. Was always counting on some awakening. NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN w a narcissist.
Get a lawyer (borrow money from whoever if needed) and litigate in court. No mediation. Court.
I lost time w my kids, my reputation, my dog, my apartment and ended up w a parenting agreement that I was not on board to begin with.
Now if you’re armed w an attorney who’s willing to support you on the journey, you go all the way to trial. No negotiation, no mediation.
I insist.
This is the best money you will ever spend in your lifetime.
Hi Paula. You skipped over #9 out of the #14 strategies for us. I really appreciate this I’m going thru divorce with my narcissistic husband of 2 years no kids and the only thing we have together is a construction loan still building a house and he abandoned that since he left haven’t paid or help on anything I’ve been paying for everything. But God!
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My narcissist ex, went into a deep rage when I walked away from the relationship. He was physically abusive and the policce charged him with assault. I am a witness, and he goes to court end of this month. Furthermore, I hired a lawyer to sue him for a recreational vehicle I nearly only owned....he had put it in his name and forged my signature and made two fraudulent transactions. I have 100% evidence. I have a restraining order - this has been going on for about 5 months now. QUESTION: Am I safe from contact from him after the one year restraining order runs out? Now that he is infuriated? Or do I remain diligent and apply yearly for restraining order? (In the past, he always hoovered....even after an 8 month break up. I have always been submissive in the past, but have been in therapy and have absolutely NO desire to be with him.) I don't think he knew I had "this" in me , and I know he is a very unstable and vindictive person. Thanks in advance if anyone can tell me what their experience was/is.
Appreciate your videos so much...thankyou kindly for making them...Chris from Oz...❤
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Thanks Paula for this helpful video. You'll look gorgeous in ghat fine hat.
Tks Sheila
Oh Paula, I love your hat!!! That will look Great on You!!!
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Love the hat, love thrift shopping, you can treat yourself and feel great for not spending too much money joining in recycling. Great video, great advice, a question, will your book be coming out as an audio book anytime in the future? I like listening rather than reading these days and your voice is really nice to listen to? Perhaps you can tell us in your next video please?
Yes Maria..Will be recording it in about 3 weeks and hope to release in October..thanks for asking 🌹
@@NarcCongreat, can't wait! Thank you for the reply and good luck with the book!
Thank you for all you do ❤
You are so welcome
Thank you Paula for this video. I am going through my divorce the now with my ex and he has tried every tactic you have described on here and more. This video has helped a lot to know to keep going. Hopefully I will get my divorce soon and me and my children will finally be free. Thank you for your tips and wisdom. 🙏🥰💖x
Thank you thats all so true....i ve been through it.....the hut is lovely
Great thanks Paula.... especially love that the goals can be used to emotionally and spiritually be calming😌❤️🩹❤
You have open my eyes educated me informed me and helped save me with your messages THANK YOU SO MUCH BEAUTIFUL❤
I'm so glad!
Thank you Paula, love and blessings ❤🙏🙂
You have nice home and dog❤
That’s not her home!!Shes on holiday!!
Another great video! Very helpful. Thank you 🌸
Glad it was helpful!
And never go to a couples therapist with the narcissist because you want to strangle the therapist because they have them fooled also
Thank you!
Thank you for youre information....you are narcAA for me❤
You are so welcome
All of this resonates for me. Love the hat. Love the dog.
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Thank you so much Paula this is really solid advise . Stay true ❤ everyone that’s been this I pray all of heaven helps you
Thank you for these strategies I never seen this explained how you did ❤ since we have children together I document everything when it comes to dealing with my ex thank you so much Paula ❤❤
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Good video and advice!!
Thank God for you. Help people. I wish I knew .
Great hat!
Your great
Im so jealous of Remy's life.
Great Hat!
Thank you, for all you do Paula!
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Awwww I wish I had a Remi too, someday❤Thank you❤
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100 percent my life.
Fabulous hat, Paula.
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Only times to deal with these narcissist is when you have children with them or divorcing and sharing property and finances other than that no contact.
Absolutely
Bought the book ❤
Thank you hope you enjoy it 🌹
At the time of my divorce I didn’t realize he was a narcissist. Very covert. He initiated the divorce. Caught me flat-footed. He had been planning it for at least two years. His main tactic was passive aggressive silence. He would not answer questions about financial matters. He went silent and only finally stopped the silent treatment when his attorney explained to him that my attorney was going to file a court order to force my ex to reveal information. By the way, my ex was furious when I hired my own attorney. My ex thought I was going to go along with whatever he decided was a fair settlement.
Stunning hat
I wish I had someone to help me. My attorney has not been able to help me stop the bullying, manipulating, threatening, and gaslighting.
The hat is lovely dear lady ☺️
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On Friday 13th last week I heard a voice call out to me. It was my ex with whom I have had no contact - zero - for 18 years. She is still married to the guy she married within 6 months of us breaking up. The person she began dating whilst we were still together. He had land and built a big house which was like light to a moth 18 years ago. Part of me is surprised that she has stayed with him, part of me is not at all surprised. I did grey stone.
The narcissist is a lawyer!!
Love the hat!
Get up at 3.30am and creep down the garden path with a stick over your shoulder like Dick Whitington, a wee bag made of cloth with cheese and bread in it, perhaps red in colour.
Fraudian slip there, Paula! Rabbit!! - Rabid, certainly 😂
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Takk!
Thank you for your support 🌹
Thanks!
Thank you David 🌹
It is surprising how Narc Con's explanations about NPD are accurate at least in my case, and how NPD people seem to share the same very specific (and many) toxic characteristics. In my case the person did indeed take one to two weeks for each small reply during the divorce process. Good luck for her in hell with what she could get from me, though I guess she would just feel home.
Have the book! Delivered in US Saturday.
Hey thanks hope you like it..🌹
My attorney advised me that we wait for the narsisist to file for divorce so that we could see what she wants.
Smart although she could delay filing..can you file without stating what you require to set the ball rolling if it’s delayed?
now i know .. why .. i said .. love you maam .. its our 'love & empathy' .. that get preyed on .. after healin .. or on the way to healing .. you .. will be a predator .. if you need to
I need this. He came back 2 days ago to ask about some paperwork I did for him when we were together. He abandoned me for new supply but still denies it. I told him i'm away for a few days so I've bought myself some time but how do I keep him away next time? The half an hour I spoke to him was full of lies and attempts to manipulate me.
Christine New
"THANK YOU"💖!...
."+"!..."💖"!...
I needed to be guideded to do that but I wasn't! I have a beautiful 11 almost 12 year old son he's trying to manipulate to his side.
NEVER NEGOTIATE WITH A NARRCISSISTS ...... THEIR RULES DO NOT APPLY
Narc are hard to deal with in family court they push the goal post back.
going legal is also not working out in same cases.. My ex narc wife bribed and ought lawyers and they set me up ....:(