Tortured By Obsession With The Narcissist?

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  • Опубликовано: 22 ноя 2024

Комментарии • 122

  • @annetterobinson668
    @annetterobinson668 Месяц назад +14

    I think it was Sander,(1989) who talked about Shared Fantasy.

    • @davidmuller7058
      @davidmuller7058 25 дней назад

      What about bpd? So tough to live them. Actually backfires if you do. I’m not happy.

  • @jodymitchell1111
    @jodymitchell1111 Месяц назад +15

    "But we cannot simply sit and stare at our wounds forever." - Haruki Murakami

  • @thejavandenberg4509
    @thejavandenberg4509 Месяц назад +53

    Well said , so clear and I wish everyone will go no contact with narccistists , please , take good care of yourself . Their like demons from hell .

    • @nosakhareobakpoler9825
      @nosakhareobakpoler9825 Месяц назад +5

      I agree!!! I am so shocked I fell in love with someone like this

    • @lifeinitalianmountainvillage
      @lifeinitalianmountainvillage Месяц назад +1

      Well, it kind of goes there. Departing started and it grows, from bottom up
      It is rough, can be so because narcs are not used to it, but it is so beautiful also

  • @lindakeenan3344
    @lindakeenan3344 Месяц назад +33

    I have learned so much form your voice, I live alone , don’t see may people I have been healing from my nar that I was married to for 43years I do believe listening to narcissism videos I’m healing well .thank you for doing the u tub videos it’s only been 2months for me and I feel so free

    • @angelalevine94
      @angelalevine94 Месяц назад

      I hope you are also getting professional help, @lindakeenan3344. It helps to navigate these feelings with an expert

  • @hannakarpf4955
    @hannakarpf4955 Месяц назад +14

    Richard Grannon, every video of yours is lovely and informative and "served" objectively, authentically, most interestingly, and humorously. A huge thank you!!

  • @ninjacat508
    @ninjacat508 Месяц назад +20

    Still love it here, after all this time. Richard's podcasts make me smile, laugh and feel good. Thanks! 🫶

  • @Flexwithsarah
    @Flexwithsarah Месяц назад +10

    The problem is that watching these videos keeps the introject active- I got 30 mins in before realising that while I love videos from Richard, as they make me feel happy, but rehashing the same NPD story is going to keep people from actually truly healing: healing only starts by stopping the pattern of thought that keeps the introject alive ; any desire for explanation, revenge, compensation, guilt tripping, self victimisation, re-connection for ‘closure’ with the NPD is keeping the internal pattern and energy field alive. The steps to starve the introject are so simple but very hard to achieve because it requires cold turkey at the mental and energetic level. The steps are : 1 every thought related to the NPD must be stopped, so no further fantasy thinking plays out, 2. Process the emotion by feeling sensations in the body without any story, without a visual , without trying to make sense- just feel the anger, pain, love, feel it until it’s gone (until the next wave), 3 create a mantra ‘eg I’m loved’ any time thoughts or feelings of any kind related to the NPD emerge eg anticipation, fear, loneliness , and again sit with the feeling not the memory or narrative . This process is very intense and it requires almost 24 hour vigilance to starve the energy field and re-wire the brain from going to the introject , starving the energy field of the introject creates integration back to the self (hence a self love mantra). Lastly, move the body - walk, jump, run, and allow stillness , which fast tracks the emotional processing and integration process . And stop, stop, stop watching videos about NPD - get a new hobby or just sit in silence until the energy field / introject and neural pathway weaken enough to carry out a day with only a few intrusions. There has been a massive Trojan horse into the mind and it can only be healed with an all in attitude to re-embracing the self, feeling everything and ending the contact with the internal NPD. Two weeks cold turkey gives you a handle, a month gives you some normalcy but it’s the continued investment in self that builds a strong barrier to future incursions and moreover a really lovely self loving relationship that lasts. Sorry Richard - you’re lovely, I just wish you made videos on another topic :) good luck people, stay strong, do the work ❤

    • @Harteo3917
      @Harteo3917 Месяц назад +2

      I think sometimes it can help watching one or two videos to remind you when you're once again dealing with someone like this because they still creep you out and shake you a little because of how they make you feel in danger, and for me they really knock me for the rest of the week if they mean business because of my anxiety which i wish didn't happen but it does.
      For the most part though i agree once you feel you've settled down and got to a place you've let go and no longer feel any care or empathy for these kind of people if not you've figured out how to handle them better and mastered grey rocking, and the message has really gotten into your brain these people are a danger to everyone, then you need to 100% let go and not even think about them.
      Just realize the only place your attention should be directed to is where it needs to be nothing else matters, no matter how much they try to get in your head and make you perceive any situation as that's not how it realistically happens and works you have to hold steadfast to what you're supposed to be doing, the way you're supposed to be doing it, and the way you personally do things too it's that simple. Unless you're told otherwise or figure out otherwise then there's nothing else to it no matter how hard they try to make you doubt it and that's how it starts because if they can gaslight you about that they know you're susceptible to further manipulation and abuse.
      Noop be completely unconcerned with it because you know what you have to do and it's none of our business how mentally messed up they are as if they would listen to anyone anyway and they were like this long before they met us. I think after what they put us through it becomes incredibly easy to not be concerned with what they do or "know" or the games they play (shush yes it's metallica lol) because we just end up hating people like this i know i do now i got no sympathy. Constantly watching these videos of course won't help because their behavior is toxic and isn't the latest celebrity gossip magazine we need to not be thinking about them at all and it just feeds the rumination.

    • @Flexwithsarah
      @Flexwithsarah Месяц назад +3

      @@Harteo3917 I agree, and that’s actually why I started watching it before I recognised that there is still a part of me seeking validation, which stopped me in my tracks as a deceptive ruse for feeding the introject the attention it wants. The introject is among other things also a self -saboteur and all I know is that thinking about the NPD is a slippery slope that eventually opens a door however small. No contact means no mental contact too. And moving on for real, means starving the neural pathway, catching oneself if we forget and no looking back. I am
      Now amazed how quickly I catch even the tone of voice in my stream of consciousness when the introject pipes up and I always tackle it head on ‘not today’ ‘we’re not doing that ‘ ‘I’m loved ‘ or ‘I don’t care’, and there is now no response, feeling of indignation or desire to cling. And I promise that everyone out there can get over the NPD and start a new life with more vigour having integrated e significant portion of energy that was always holding us back anyway. Good luck with your journey, take care.

    • @Harteo3917
      @Harteo3917 Месяц назад +1

      ​@@Flexwithsarah Totally i feel the same about trying to gain validation and i don't know why i do it when i'm a very carefree kind of person, i guess because they do make us feel bad about ourselves anyway and the way they still rattle us no matter what we do, i just want to feel validated about it to make myself feel better i guess but there's only so many times we can go over it with ourselves before it's just the same old story yup we know.
      I guess because we don't want these things to happen and it drives us crazy that it does we want things to make sense but it doesn't always, when things aren't in order it throws us even after much effort to try and keep it like that. I guess we're also kinda venting our frustrations because somebody disturbed the equilibrium but after the first couple times we learn we have to become better at dealing with it when things don't exactly go to plan because these people know how to throw a wedge in the equilibrium.
      I'm not opposed to taking more breaks now if i see them gathering that's my cue to take a break for an hour because they've got the impression you're giving them easy access which they're wrong about like many so things. Whatever initially triggered them you bet it had nothing to do with us because they disappear after i've been gone for an hour lol it's how weird it is and one of the things that makes you unresponsive because you see how it only comes from dysfunctional place.

    • @Flexwithsarah
      @Flexwithsarah Месяц назад +3

      @@Harteo3917 you know, one of the things that Richard and Sam talk about a lot is forgiveness and self compassion. We aren’t perfect, we are composed of so many parts and there is genuine strength in embracing the part of us that may have been drawn to fire , to dysfunction, curious about their energy, curious about what it triggers in us. As you said, releasing the need for things to have gone to a plan or to have been within our control is a change in mindset and a step towards self knowledge at a very deep level as we realise that being ‘me’ does not have to equal being successful or having a certain person in our lives. Recognising the dysfunction in ourselves through a dysfunctional dynamic was a weird way of re-embracing a part of ourselves - a part inside that wants to be seen. I don’t validate the NPD by responding to it as something different from me, I listen and I come back to self love because I want to integrate that part until there is more unity inside , so much so that attraction to dysfunction just doesn’t happen or happens fleetingly. What happened to you and many of us was just a moment in our lives that created great awakening through pain, and that’s significant , and also a great signpost to integrate parts and to have more self compassion. Releasing a story of what happened frees a person to explore who I am now, who am I becoming, how can I love myself more, and those are questions that create space to grow x

    • @danielbonner8309
      @danielbonner8309 24 дня назад

      Your not wrong.

  • @justinesalt9140
    @justinesalt9140 Месяц назад +8

    It helped me to realize, that those "good times" were there only for a purpose to syphon the energy more effectively later on. There is no "good" on them actualy.

  • @Darleen-og7ee
    @Darleen-og7ee Месяц назад +18

    You're spot on as always Richard. I think we as the person being abused is that it's hard to believe the people that they dump us for, is like she's so over weight, not as attractive, doesn't have the peppy personality, etc. I wouldn't have that dirt bag back in my life. I'm trying to forgive and move on, not having resentment. God is really blessing me. Just see it for what it is. I told him exactly what I found out about him. I told him I would never date you again, ever, I mean this. I love me! Remember people how they treated you. Thank you kindly Richard 🙂🙏

    • @Harteo3917
      @Harteo3917 Месяц назад +2

      They go for someone overweight because she probably has far less boundaries, confidence, and self esteem and he looks a lot prettier next to her he did it for his ego once again and because she lacks confidence she'll most likely not put up the fight you have it's sick. It's why some guys are chubby chasers too even going after people with medical issues because they know they're vulnerable not all girls who are big eat all the pies it could be a thyroid problem.
      Although not all big girls lack confidence or self esteem i've met some really bubbly and confident big ladies and why people find you attractive isn't all based on looks. They'll always go for the ones who lack self esteem and confidence thin or chubby, big or small it doesn't matter to them because most narcissists like to find the easiest challenge because most people are lazy.
      Most don't want to put too much effort into gaining supply only some very delusionally view someone resistant to them as a challenge and a higher quality source sadly the ones i frequently attract so i see the difference between them and others. By no means is anything real with them though because in the end they always intended to hurt you they never even really got to know you because they're too busy making you act how they want you to, soon he'll just do the same thing to that girl too.

  • @michellekirk8609
    @michellekirk8609 11 дней назад

    I’ve been saying to myself I’m my own worst enemy-this makes so much sense!! And it leads to “so I need him.”

  • @coach_amy
    @coach_amy Месяц назад +27

    5:45 I know my ex will never hoover me. I assume my ex doesn't even remember me--not even a few weeks after I left, once the mortification wore off from my leaving. This is why:
    I have a theory that my vulnerable NPD ex can find supply all the time via lust, somatic pleasures, and any kind of attention (and maladaptive daydreaming): between media, strangers, coworkers, and even ex's own body. It was like I signed up to be rejected constantly and as a way-of-being (hey, just like growing up with my mother!).

  • @nicholasripley4652
    @nicholasripley4652 Месяц назад +4

    1hr 33min great stuff. Service to others and yourself transforms negative to positive forever baby

  • @AmyEdward-ke5et
    @AmyEdward-ke5et Месяц назад +1

    I love you as a sister and citizen in need of healing or transformitive....
    Your awesome in zeal.
    Your wisdom is beyond what i could ever imagine

  • @sausagefinger8849
    @sausagefinger8849 Месяц назад +6

    Love your work. A Massive help. Thank you

  • @lydiacastillo8337
    @lydiacastillo8337 Месяц назад +1

    I love your channel ! So insightful, I am learning so much. Thank you for sharing your brilliance and you’re awfully nice to look at too !!

  • @Harteo3917
    @Harteo3917 Месяц назад +2

    One thing you never mention is how narcs watch everything we're doing treating the teeniest tiniest thing like we're constantly doing something wrong it's the most anxiety inducing thing they ever do and they make you feel like you're doing something anyway even when you know you're not. They do it in a very specific way like they get up higher above or stand on their tip toes above other people and make it obvious they're doing it to look at you, directing their attention and energy towards you, to see what you look like, what you're wearing, what you're doing, who you're speaking to... EVERYTHING even when you're doing absolutely nothing.
    You could just be sitting or standing there and they know it but want to constantly provoke a huge amount of feelings of fear, intimidation, pressure, and anxiety and some days i really can't handle it or deal with it much like the past few days and it's like they damn well feel it. I can't even privately deal with things internally because again i'm always doing something even when that makes zero sense whatsoever it has nothing to do with them good lord question yourselves.
    I really hate that though the most because they do it to intimidate you, devalue you, and make you feel unsafe even in yourself so they can gain some kind of sense of power and control. They treat you like you're some celebrity they need to create constant speculation about in their heads and to other narcissists to feel power and a sense of superiority and to feed their fragile self esteem, it's very much like you are which tells me the celebrity culture has effected them in negative ways probably part of what makes them compare themselves to others so much because they've been made to believe they should have that.
    They'll take the smallest thing even just moving somewhere else as if you then somehow moved because of them which shows how they're constantly inserting themselves into everything you do. I think it's the most rage inducing thing they do you desperately want them to go away and just give you space to be a natural human being but you just feel like you can't even breath or take a sip of water without it being abnormal. I've really grown to hate these people now i can't stand them and forgiving them would be letting them off scot free i just can't do it because they still know what they're doing no matter how mentally unwell they are, a boatload of money needs to be invested into it to solve this issue asap.

  • @amberfahr5992
    @amberfahr5992 Месяц назад +5

    I wish no contact didn't hurt more than I can endure. The alternative is keeping me sick and emotionally disregulated

    • @Incogneet
      @Incogneet Месяц назад +1

      I totally hear you with this one. Extremely painful how anyone can think it’s ok to treat another human being with such cruelty

  • @altheeaself76
    @altheeaself76 Месяц назад +2

    It’s great to know when you do well, in the moment! 1:33:00 huge bravo moment indeed. Very important message about unrecoverable memories; I hope you make that into a sound bite message. The left over feelings are our smoking gun and source of focus in deciding what to do about it in the now. Great stream, thank you

    • @dj_spinfire_d-.-b
      @dj_spinfire_d-.-b 15 дней назад

      Towards the end I even started to notice I was having trouble remembering how to smile.

  • @Néerlandais-p1q
    @Néerlandais-p1q Месяц назад

    Richard and Jan storms,
    Are the best people who give you insight into Cluster B disorder.
    Thx for this

  • @AlokaCanziani
    @AlokaCanziani Месяц назад

    Love this interview. There is always so much learning, laughs and aha moments listening to Richard. 🙏🏽

  • @smintedinc2482
    @smintedinc2482 2 дня назад

    Great lighting, set and sound - best yet!

    • @smintedinc2482
      @smintedinc2482 2 дня назад

      Trigger: “oh poor you!
      I wonder if that was a culture and time thing? - pre and up to around the late 70’s ?
      That would be considered so rude now, but seemed part of the vernacular in the 70s - by the 80s it became more evident that it was mean and nasty, rather than a method for signalling to someone to “pull their heads in and get on with it”.

    • @smintedinc2482
      @smintedinc2482 2 дня назад

      Especially coupled with vaping … wah!?

  • @ThanePL
    @ThanePL Месяц назад +2

    I read all the comments about how aware you should be and stay away from this kind of people... And don't get me wrong, I made those as well. But Richard started this video perfectly - you forget what the subjective feeling of a person in a narcissistically abusive relationship is like. Even if they realise it's bad for them and that they are being abused, they still wonder if it can come back and want that on some level. It's not until shared fantasy is dead when you realise it was all fake.

  • @alethiasingleton3109
    @alethiasingleton3109 Месяц назад +13

    Narracissits will give you the high& lows ups & downs flight fight freeze you won't know if you going left or right 🤪 CPTSD for you Unless a person gets therapy counseling

  • @Mystic_Paths
    @Mystic_Paths Месяц назад +3

    Narcissists often use manipulation to maintain control in relationships, making it difficult for their partners to break free from the obsession

  • @danielhicks4040
    @danielhicks4040 Месяц назад +7

    Just want to point out that co-dependency and placating to the narcissist serves two functions, positive reinforcement (often intermittent) when we successfully provide fuel and the narcissist is satisfied. Also to avoid the pain and suffering that comes along with not being able to supply it, or (I was just thinking about this) maybe our pain and suffering actually provides fuel. Wow

    • @Helen-cl8hl
      @Helen-cl8hl 28 дней назад

      Yep for sure👍🏼it's all fuel to them...( Saddists clearly prefer the pain and suffering variety ) my ex is a tetrad! Need I say more😂...
      But yeah,be it emotional, physical and or spiritual energy...all of it....
      Wether internalized or externalized, all are reactions and therefore, energetic .... AKA fuel, supply, life force, for the narcissists....
      When it's human to human- there's nothing to worry about, just need to learn, solidify, adopt, good energetic boundaries in general, 3D vibes can sometimes get a bit low.....Nothing that some meditation and connecting in, hanging out in nature 🍄‍🟫listening to some music 🎶 dancing 🥁🎵🪇🎺💃🏼🕺🏼 or making something
      ( I like to use colour, and or make something with my hands) talk to God, the Universe, loving ET'S, and always remember to stare up to the stars and just listen and watch....it's the most beautiful thing, talk to the moon ....(I'm absolutely hanging out to go to Karijini, it's in Western Australia)
      When it comes to energetic exchange with NPD entities it's not that simple, it's not exchange, it's just straight up drain/ a syphoning...
      more reason to do the above regularly, keep the tank full, and re-energize daily, but more importantly discern, identify and shield your light, honour your intuition / inner guide and let those entities "energetically" know" that you "know 🤔"...
      Once they realise they can't manipulate you, steal your energy time and life force, you refuse to react to their BS....before you know it,
      ..they'll just "poof" disappear! ...
      especially if they are low on supply...their masks are slipping, and time becomes really precious to them, they get very anxious and narotic over the concept of time ....and how others are spending their time etc....
      because as time ticks, and they aren't receiving supply, they become more and more depleted, and disregulated etc etc 😂🙄😐
      ( Not always funny, I still get caught out... mainly with family)....

  • @CrimsonWave89
    @CrimsonWave89 Месяц назад

    I love these educational videos and the "shaved ape in socks" comment killed me 😂 thank you for the guidance, as always! ❤

  • @DanielaGarcia-jp9mr
    @DanielaGarcia-jp9mr Месяц назад +6

    Looking back at pictures when I looked happy... was i ever happy? It's so confusing because I disassociated so often, I don't have memories other than the photos. I just can't reconcile the accounting, so to speak. How could I have been happy in the bad space where i was? Is that the unhealthy introject speaking?

  • @nicoletalmadge7276
    @nicoletalmadge7276 Месяц назад

    The shared fantasy is the ground where all of this happens…4 months out…the healing from this is brutal it’s almost harder than what I came out of…he was a Sociopath.

  • @annalisetrunzo
    @annalisetrunzo Месяц назад +4

    Helpful. Thank you for answering my question, Richard.

  • @muhlissuh__
    @muhlissuh__ Месяц назад +1

    When is your next live? I wanna make sure I can comment or email my questions

  • @ThePonyd
    @ThePonyd Месяц назад +5

    Stream starts at 2:30

  • @Linda4PartHarmony
    @Linda4PartHarmony Месяц назад

    I had to come to the conclusion I was wanting approval and validation with the mind of an 11 year old throwing tantrums and finding friends that gave him praise and approval based on his status. They even had child like mannerisms. I believe they call this their flying monkeys. The best way to get some of your self respect is don’t engage with arrest development minds because it’s like you being an adult getting in a sand box with children and getting in a sand fight. Do you really ever win by engaging? And if so what satisfaction are you really going to get. I feel so content and better about myself by moving forward and working on my goals and passions in life. Winning truly is totally forgetting them. I hope your friend genuinely finds peace and wisdom. ❤

    • @Harteo3917
      @Harteo3917 Месяц назад

      it's probably because our own parents are emotionally immature and neglectful and what i know from my parents who were born sometime in the 1960s a lot of people in their generation are super in denial about themselves, their issues, and don't want to hear anyone else's either and then their parents are the same too i wonder if people became like this because of the world wars and how it broke apart families and the trauma of it just continued. But then the other half of it is the corruption that began to take shape in the 1960s and how that's progressed since then and it's like they want nobody to progress and evolve in themselves.
      Once we get to the age of 17 though we need to start interacting and being around mature people but honestly even as a kid or teenager not many people are reaching the maturity level they should be at for their age and we're put with a lot of people with all kinds of behavioral issues, which shouldn't be happening they shouldn't be allowed around other people because it messes you up constantly being surrounded by that. Then you're automatically treated like you're one of them and behave like them just because you're in their class or something so you're treated like a bad untrustable dysfunctional person even when your not it's very frustrating and confusing and one of the main reasons i'm messed up.
      Once you start getting older though you need people to be at the right emotional maturity level but that's not how our culture has been so it's constantly like an adult trying to argue with a child. it's beyond frustrating bumping into it all the time and i just don't know how our culture is this way so why it's so hard for us these days to progress as a person.

  • @alanbennett7017
    @alanbennett7017 Месяц назад +1

    In my case I realised the "trauma "bond"" was simply my own brain torturing itself because I have O.C.D. Now I understand Narcissism and O.C.D. He who looks outside dreams, he who looks inside AWAKENS. Carl Jung.

  • @danielbonner8309
    @danielbonner8309 24 дня назад

    Lowest lows, highest highs. Ya that's wild.

  • @locaitaliana
    @locaitaliana Месяц назад

    It’s been 3 days. We are due for another Sir Richard 💯

    • @coach_amy
      @coach_amy Месяц назад +1

      Richard was interviewed for 2 hours yesterday on Liam Tuffs' channel.

  • @BlueFace33388
    @BlueFace33388 Месяц назад +2

    Sometimes still want to text them to tell them off about their unfair and gaslighting behaviour. To make my point. But it's so silly. Theres no point.

  • @clairekyriakou591
    @clairekyriakou591 Месяц назад +5

    ,Can a narcissist pretend he has seizures whenever he wants to win a fight? Cause i used to pay attention but when i stopped, seizures stopped too

  • @enkelix
    @enkelix Месяц назад +1

    14:24 this is my reaction whenever someone mentions my narc ex’s name totally randomly 😅😅😅😅

  • @dj_spinfire_d-.-b
    @dj_spinfire_d-.-b 15 дней назад

    I would just like to leave this here see what people think. In regards to the modern day psychological diagnosis of cptsd, would it be outside the realm of possibility going forward with a diagnosis have the same nature that specifically focuses on cases of narcissistic abuse? Just had an epiphany pondering about how the 6 qualifiers that we currently use did derive from & include the original 3 based qualifiers for determining Ptsd.
    CC-PTD - is what my Richard Grannon persuaded thought concluded.
    Complex Codepedent -- Perpetuated/Post Traumatic Distress
    Would a diagnosis of this nature be beneficia,l applicable, relevant, or even possible?
    Much gratitude for all the knowledge & wisdom you share. It's almost been a year since I first watched one of your videos, and every time the subject matter and topics you talk about I relate to and empathize with. Thank you for delivering such balanced insights that continue to assist me bridging the abyssal gap of dissonance on trusted path to my authentic self. Cheers =]

  • @helder3951
    @helder3951 Месяц назад +3

    I’m not histrionic but I would love to date you Richard no cap 😂
    Can listen to you for … uhhh months … thanx for this long deep one, again very interesting and thank God with a sense of humor yet clear & direct.
    X Kris

  • @SoulForce_
    @SoulForce_ Месяц назад +1

    And what I also remembered recently was my father who hid behind his wife and I come into contact with men who only hide behind a jealous woman with a weak character, 'want to help', but only in the excuses for not coming and blame the weak character on a jealous wife. That is also a very observant fact in my life. Are they also introjects that I believe in help? I don't even ask for it, they offer.

  • @cosimavonliebenau8317
    @cosimavonliebenau8317 Месяц назад +5

    I love the word fantasm - combination of fantasy, orgasm and phantom.

  • @geraldineskinner5941
    @geraldineskinner5941 Месяц назад

    I think that’s the first time I’ve heard Richard remind us to like his video 😂 don’t know why I find that interesting lol😊

  • @sparkedperspective
    @sparkedperspective Месяц назад +7

    Luke 17:32, Jesus said, "Remember Lot's wife." He says that she sought to save her life but lost it. The first lesson is that when the time comes to flee, flee!
    Do not let that life/relationship consume your soul. Do not look back.

  • @bingoandtoto
    @bingoandtoto Месяц назад +2

    narcissistic abuse must cause the PTSD, as a child of narcissistic biological parents, I feel like human is the trauma itself for me. Since this abusing has been started since I was born.

    • @Harteo3917
      @Harteo3917 Месяц назад

      it causes huge social anxiety when all you've been surrounded with is these kind of people you just expect it from people and of course they rarely fail to disappoint, the ostracisation we all go through from other human beings it creates huge trust issues and betrayal trauma especially when our parents just don't want to actually know the things we go through.
      My limit on how much time i can spend around other people is slim like after 2 days i'm done until like 3 days later which i wish i could do and some days it's a struggle i don't want to be around people for a whole week before i come out again lol.

  • @annemarie9980
    @annemarie9980 Месяц назад +1

    Thanks Richard...🙌

  • @nicoletalmadge7276
    @nicoletalmadge7276 Месяц назад

    Bingo 20:00….i claim the narcissistic relationship as far as the significance factor is the closest I’ve ever been to experiencing a sort of infantalization experience wherein I was brought back to childhood where I internalized them to a very similar degree to how I experienced the parent from childhood. They became god like how a parent is to a child.

  • @SarahJones-sl3en
    @SarahJones-sl3en Месяц назад +2

    If I buy an unplugged matrix Richard, can I pretty please carry you on my shoulder forever like a little grandiose devil and angel, how sweet my life would be if you were there 😮

  • @SoulForce_
    @SoulForce_ Месяц назад +1

    Omg thanks. Unconscious in competition with him making my bought house liveable while he promised all kinds of help before the disgard. I really worked far above my power to make it liveable, while he let me starve and on my own in a very unsafe house. And when I am there, this whole network of flying monkeys and enablers are syphon my energy even though I live detached behind a fence and mind my own business. He lives 200 mtr down the road from me and have extreme manipulation skills. I went no contact but he finds his way via via and now by you saying that about competition, maybe thats what I am doing, proving myself etc I thought I fell in love with the village but the status quo doesnt suit me. So what am I doing...

  • @evapawlowska
    @evapawlowska 9 дней назад

    Yep finally see the difference between being loved and being a high-grade drug :D All the narcs I dated, when I'd ask why they'd love me, and the answer was always the same... some version of being ideal. HUH? Ideal for what ??! Meanwhile the real ones it was intelligence, kindness, etc. It's really not that complicated lol.

  • @jennywager6228
    @jennywager6228 Месяц назад +2

    7.57 they come bak also for monetary fraud implications too!

  • @VanessaGregory-x3v
    @VanessaGregory-x3v Месяц назад +1

    Richard is fascinating and also an exceptionally good looking man.

  • @calistasanderson
    @calistasanderson Месяц назад

    I was so excited about the question regarding alcoholism vs narcissism. I’ve been having the same question, can’t find an answer. My ex is 16 yrs sober (aka in recovery) and narcissism fits like a glove, but have heard inactive in AA although sober (Dry Drunk) is almost identical. But is it?

  • @mezlandia
    @mezlandia Месяц назад +1

    36:59 this makes sense 🙏🏻

  • @lowkeyk336s9
    @lowkeyk336s9 Месяц назад +1

    I'd say the comment about not being previously introduced to the 'good looking friend' is also coming from narcissistic coordinates..
    It has a pungent waft of triangulation about it..

    • @coach_amy
      @coach_amy Месяц назад

      Agreed. A transparent partnership type comment could be something like, "Your friend is attractive. He has strong facial features. Do you think so?"

  • @dougdeepdown
    @dougdeepdown Месяц назад

    Ah...Dumbass Doug here..
    I sent you a question..
    To yesterday's Email...lol
    Maybe next time!!?
    Thanks Richard and your crew for your resource...great job!

  • @Whispers-ro9xb
    @Whispers-ro9xb Месяц назад +1

    First I taught it was love then I saw it was narcissist - codependent relationship, then I learned abouth the trauma bond and I taught it was it. and it definitely was. but then I keept dreaming the godess, and then I learned about Jung's Anima. The picture of the godess is in me and I project it on her. And she likes it. If you got a negative anima from your mother, then the woman within you is against you. the narcissistic woman who plays the anima is somebody else, who knows who...

  • @RobertEsparza-zc2ou
    @RobertEsparza-zc2ou Месяц назад +2

    Bring your own socks, I'm your sidekick,

  • @AmyEdward-ke5et
    @AmyEdward-ke5et Месяц назад

    Richard, how do we stop making narcissists?
    Is there total hope for them or our nation....

  • @Thedisgardedoptimist
    @Thedisgardedoptimist Месяц назад +5

    Once i woke up, obsession turned into revulsion.. im working on turning that into integration therefore peace...
    Its worth the effort...

  • @estefaniafebo8113
    @estefaniafebo8113 Месяц назад +1

    My coparent is a covert narcissist, how can I handle ( mind games, not responding behavior?
    Especially when he has my daughter , he has blocked my number from grandparents so I don’t contact my daughter.
    I’ve stopped responding to the behavior but, how can I train my coparent to not behave that way?

    • @coach_amy
      @coach_amy Месяц назад

      If your coparent is anything like the NPDs in my past, the more they know you want something, the more they don't want you to have it (and they are able to sense even our energy without our saying a word...probably like an animal can sense fear). I love how Richard says to reduce the significance of the NPD.
      (I don't understand how he can keep you from your own daughter. At minimum, I'd find a mediator to handle that part.)

    • @karinajones1121
      @karinajones1121 Месяц назад

      Grey Rock Method.

  • @Ellenmaureensheehy
    @Ellenmaureensheehy Месяц назад

    Carl Jung? Is that the name you were referring to?

    • @alanbennett7017
      @alanbennett7017 Месяц назад

      I quoted Carl Jung not Richard, I don't think.

  • @indigobarefootyoga3598
    @indigobarefootyoga3598 Месяц назад

    50:20 sounds like she is finding her own self and feels guilt in leaving the hubby in the past. Her fear sounds more of wanting to hold on to him while she gets strong. He may be vulnerable, that would make more sense.
    I wanted to make sure my husband was being taken care of before I left him for myself. It ended up him attempting everything except killing me on the streets to destroy me.

  • @shsummers
    @shsummers Месяц назад

    Richard, I can't locate the free course you mention several times here. I've looked through the Fortress Mental Health page and the descriptions in all of the vids there, but find nothing? I'd like to do the Emotional Literacy course if it can be made available.

    • @RICHARDGRANNON
      @RICHARDGRANNON  Месяц назад

      The RUclips channel is the course. Start with video 1. Assets are given in the description of the videos.

    • @coach_amy
      @coach_amy Месяц назад

      Channel is called "CPTSD Recovery Fortress Mental Health." Once there, click on PLAYLISTS. Under "Playlists," click on "Richard Grannon's Fortress Mental Health Protection" playlist.

    • @coach_amy
      @coach_amy Месяц назад

      Channel is called "CPTSD Recovery Fortress Mental Health." Once there, click on PLAYLISTS. Under "Playlists," click on "Richard Grannon's Fortress Mental Health Protection" playlist.

    • @coach_amy
      @coach_amy Месяц назад

      Channel is called "CPTSD Recovery Fortress Mental Health." Once there, click on PLAYLISTS. Under "Playlists," click on "Richard Grannon's Fortress Mental Health Protection" playlist.

    • @shsummers
      @shsummers Месяц назад +1

      @@RICHARDGRANNON Thanks for your reply. Due to the great sale you're running right now, I went ahead and bought the full Emotional Literacy course. I started this evening....I'm looking forward to it. Thanks!

  • @nessauk2786
    @nessauk2786 21 день назад

    Janet Kay : silly games.

  • @marinastant5249
    @marinastant5249 Месяц назад

    Honestly, Richard is a cute nerd 🤓

  • @allgoodeducationalresource5959
    @allgoodeducationalresource5959 Месяц назад +1

    I love you Richard

  • @JodiSamurai
    @JodiSamurai Месяц назад

    How did I know Sam Vaknin was going to be the name he said.. I am a Cancer sign, is it narcissistic to think I'm psychic? its a blessing and a curse.

    • @Helen-cl8hl
      @Helen-cl8hl 28 дней назад

      @@JodiSamurai no of course not! ✨✨✨ it's not narcissistic to be a Psychic or to use your gifts for the highest good with highest intentions.. it's a gift, to be valued and appreciated it( apparently we all have this capacity) it's a very natural and helpful gift... In so many ways, to help yourself and to help others who seek guidance /assistance ...
      many people use Psychics personally and professionally within certain industries enlist in the services of Psychics..💓💘💓💘 narcissists are afraid of them... That's why if they suspect you have good intuition, and they've managed to cast a spell before you have a chance to repell them, you're cactus until they become their very worst, and you awaken from their evil spell, the one you knew you were in but couldn't/wouldn't wake up from, then plunging head first into the stench of the pile of shit that the narcissist has been carefully crafting and tending to ever since you met, into the awakened nightmare !!! Into the fire, the burn....those raging flames, that ultimately cleanse you of their evil energetic poison....the tears, deep ancient pain, those long talks with God, your cat, your dog, your indoor plants, the moon, and yourself....
      Then it's a race to rise up from the ashes...and finding YOU, discovering YOU, enjoying that space where no other fucker can interfere with or influence your energy ( especially while your still reclaiming /discovering yourself for yourself, with only yourself, and the Universe/God )....
      It's all worth it, and take as long as you need, this is your life, and you do not need anyone else's approval as to how you live it, ( assuming you aren't hurting any other being in the process)

  • @billionwilliams8333
    @billionwilliams8333 Месяц назад

    deep

  • @anneboyle2240
    @anneboyle2240 Месяц назад

    What's the interject?

  • @MissJT
    @MissJT Месяц назад +2

    Richard, you’re going to have to practice your West of Ireland accent because Sligo is in Connacht, not Ulster.🤭 Don’t mind your man asking the questions; your impression wasn't that bad. 🤣👍

  • @evapawlowska
    @evapawlowska 9 дней назад

    I only said something like that once to a guy. Felt bad never again :D That sort of thing is only said on purpose in revenge, obviously lol. For women anyways haha

  • @Frequency999
    @Frequency999 22 дня назад

    Why are we forced to be warriors when all we were meant to be is lovers?

  • @ManusDextraPersonalAssistance
    @ManusDextraPersonalAssistance Месяц назад

    Ive been listening to Richard for ages and he helped me a lot. But are we all just going to sit here and pretend like pretending to be interested in someone else even as a joke IS OKAY. At the very least its disrespectful to say stuff like that to your partner. Regardless whether your partner is narcissistic or not. What if he werent narcissistic. Nobody was pulling her tongue to say such nonsense. Very unfortunate example Mr. Brannon.

  • @AmandaToone-ez9hy
    @AmandaToone-ez9hy Месяц назад +1

    I had a situation with a friend. She is bipolar and a narcissist. I think I viewed grandiose and covert narcissism according to the ups and downs of her bipolar disorder. I ended up with horrible anxiety

  • @thousandpetalsproject1494
    @thousandpetalsproject1494 Месяц назад

    50:25 i realized mine was the second we meet. It's very important to him to hear the sound of his own words, regardles of the drivel contained therein. I'm doomed to meet only npds. The world is crawling with them. Yeah, it's terrible, but i'm on medicaid, so what can i expect for free? Anyway, his form of abuse involves working out his feelings with a tube of Gold Bond exactly 25 minutes after i leave. I'm pretty empathic when it comes to... strong feelings, even while i'm driving to work 15 miles away. Anyway, i'm horrifically single because i'm surrounded by americans, and it's been 2 years. Is it wrong to keep seeing him so i can share his sickness? He's energetic and t is delightful. If someone could psychically get pulled into your fantasies, would you want to know about it? Would you believe it? Would you be willing to admit it? Especially if i knew specific details like the brand of your moisturizer? This can only end badly.

    • @AmyEdward-ke5et
      @AmyEdward-ke5et Месяц назад

      If i understand correctly, this will only go down south to bad existences... keep listening find reals' prayers,,,

  • @SarahJones-sl3en
    @SarahJones-sl3en Месяц назад

    Magic mushrooms ?? Reality escapes release tears , is it clinically known to release depression??

  • @smintedinc2482
    @smintedinc2482 2 дня назад

    C’mon! - some of us care - what the hell ya doin’ vaping!?

  • @LadySmilesALot_WhyNot
    @LadySmilesALot_WhyNot Месяц назад

    ... This Biutiful OCTOBER50 code, made me finally "brake the bank"... It IS worth it... I am ON it... "wiggle - wiggle your fingers and toes" makes me Smile every single time... THANK you, Richard! ❤🎉❤

  • @AmyEdward-ke5et
    @AmyEdward-ke5et Месяц назад

    This is amazing . I finding out if im a nark or empi dihgned orew cliumnsed.
    Im lost need founding
    Looking for moderateexcuses or explanation jaunts.
    Idk yet thats iuxz vc uiok saez
    ,.9823 "●
    Zestilyw dhone
    I dont even know all this. Triads!. Machkiuvelli,?

  • @NarcissistHex-nf9eq
    @NarcissistHex-nf9eq 28 дней назад

    I might cover this on my channel, but man that's a lot to cover.