I’m not in the community, but I have a lot of black friends who are meek and shy girls. All of them got bullied for it, but some of them changed for the beauty standard and the bullying stopped for them. It’s a hard ask to tell people to be more comfortable in their own skin when people react this way.
Very very true.from what I’ve seen pressure on each Black girl differently. It could be to be expressive enough, feminine enough, and cool and thick enough. That’s why we should try to change the mindset of the bullies.
It is liberating when you no longer care to be somebody's ideal of what you should be. As a goth black woman I understand this too well, and hope others flip the bird to those who wish to change them to fit their imagined person.
I'm not sure why we care so much about society finding us pretty, I truly don't care unless they are being disrespectful about it. There are plenty of people that will date and actually prefer to date black women, even if we're not the standard of beauty. I found a partner and I like myself 🤷🏾♀️ that's enough for me
It is a big problem. It leads to other perceptions of us that effect how people (who also have to vote for the same laws) view us and our struggles. Finding us beautiful goes beyond just looks. A lot of them find us good looking. But appealing as a whole or a people is not there.
@@niameshellThe biggest reason why other races don't find us appealing as a whole has less to do with our looks and more with the stereotypes for how we act. Sure embracing our natural hair and looks would help, but that's only scraping the surface for fixing the way other people perceive us
I'm a bit older and was raised outside of the US. I'm really surprised how things have evolved. I went to school where hair extensions, nail polish, eyelashes and makeup etc were all prohibited. And older women around me didn't wear those things either unless it was maybe a special occasion. Of course they wore makeup, nail polish and did their hair, but not to the extent as it's done today. Grandma wore her Sunday wig and some ladies wore extensions and special hairstyles to go to a wedding or what not. What used to be stage makeup and hair for performances and actors, I see people wearing around daily. At the same time, clothing have become completely inappropriate. I hope all women will come to embrace their amazing natural beauty.
European, beauty are illusions, to Africans, African American, Nubians the true Native Americans,Haitian Jamaican,Dominican, Puerto Rican, Australian, whatever you call yourself stop living there illusions. be yourselfs . Be in tuned with your natural nature.❤
I hope that day comes BC it's way past the due date. I see so much beauty when I look at your face. I see what's real without prejudice. You're a true beauty. ❤❤❤
clicked the thumbnail and legit this is so true like the bar and standard for black women is soo high its like the "work twice as hard just for half of what others get". its really sad
No, the Black community is like that due to centuries of emotional, physical and mental abuse. This is what a people who have never recovered from the trauma of their horrific past looks like. Society is hard and cold toward us and so we reflect that upon our children and one another as a whole. We’re the only people in the world who are comfortable with being at odds with one another. You are a product of your environment and have no idea. That’s truly tragic.
@Beyt_El My mother disowned me because I was not tough. She hated me for being soft. So don't worry, I know about the history and I know. We even exclude people from the community who do not conform to this norm 🖕🏿 I also had black friends who had issues with this and other black people have treated me away because of this behavior so again 🖕🏿🖕🏿🖕🏿 I'm actually planning a big event and a lot of you will be removed off of this planet when I am done since you all want to pretend like someone like me doesn't exist
@@Snookyboo I don’t think you lack presence. Not in the slightest. After all you are a part of our community. You matter just as much as anyone else. I’m sorry to hear your mother treated you with such contempt. It’s unfortunate but one of the hard truths in relation to the relationships we have with our parents and elders is that it is very hard to change their mindset and way of thinking. You have to understand that these people probably experienced some pretty horrible things in order to treat their own children in such a manner. I’m not condoning what she did. Not in the slightest I am simply pointing out that trauma breeds more trauma. So it’s only normal that she would behave in such a way given the history of this country. I don’t know what your relationship with you mother is like now but I’d suggest maybe putting distance between you and her if you can? Being around toxic people can be mentally and emotionally draining. You don’t deserve that. The only thing I can tell you in regards to your issues with your family is that there is NOTHING wrong with weakness. We can’t possibly be strong 24/7. We’re human we make mistakes we feel vulnerable, we feel weak and incompetent at times. That’s normal and for anyone to make you feel otherwise is lying to you and is running away from their own weaknesses and insecurities. People tend to project their insecurities a lot without realizing it. Don’t ever let anyone tell you what you can and cannot do. You’re capable and you’re competent. You belong here. Your existence matters. I hope you really hear these words because I genuinely mean them. Take care. ❤️
@@Beyt_El It wasn't just my mother. My older sister, who my mother would call "big ole tough gyal," also treated me like I was less than her because of it. And I didn't say anything about being weak 🤨 why did you mention that? It was also the blk female friends I met growing up. One called me a brown noser for being sensitive with a bubbly attitude. I liked being positive, especially since I had it so hard at home. She was someone I even reached out to when I became really overwhelmed with my home situation, which went nowhere. She was the more adventurous one who went out all the time and started traveling by the time she was 21. She was the oldest child from a loving home with both her parents together in the home. A mutual friend of ours checked up on me a couple of years ago and told me how hurt she felt about being easily forgotten. She also had an older sister who was really tough like mine, and she was also more like me but funnier. We connected, and she even understood what i was saying, but the second time I saw her, she told me I shouldn't act the way that I do around other bp. I'm like, wtf? I randomly opened Instagram around this time and saw her in a picture with them. I'm like, oh, she's now included lol I've had similar situations with other bp I felt like I was in the twilight zone but later remembered my older sister told a bunch of people she couldn't date gangsters because she's soft and will cry if she ever gets interrogated by a police officer. This was when she was around 18 or 19. By the time she was 20, she was pregnant by one of the guys in the hood who was about 10 years older than her. About 10 years later, she told me she likes guys in jail. I asked her why and told her that's weird, and that was the last time I questioned or called her out. She cut me off, too. I didn't really care because she always liked being the more responsible one, and she got more attention for it since my mom always praised her for being more assertive, independent , and street smart. I just told myself that if she likes all of that responsibility, then she's going to be the one carrying everybody, and that can get tiring in life. Especially for women. You don't get to rest in your femininity if your loving the attention of being the responsible one people should listen to and follow all the time. My sister's behavior rubbed off on me because I was with her all the time, trying to mimic her but since she's cut me off i have had a hard time being like her (not really a bad thing). A guy barely yelled at me yesterday, and he made me start shaking and crying, so I completely lost everything that rubbed off on me lol. She helped increase my toughness since I tried to be like her, like younger sisters tend to do but I guess should not have questioned her. At this point it's just getting harder and harder to connect with bw. That's just part of my experience as a bw, tho so I'm just not surprised with the representation. When I noticed it at first I was like wtf but then I looked at my experience and shut right up
It's crazy that the very people that require you to be an angel refuses to create a heaven for you! Then drag you through hell, and get surprised when you turn into a demon.
Great subject, keep talking about this! Your hair is quite flattering to your face, I'd like to see the side and back views. Also, I was distracted by the amount of space over your head. A better positioned camera angle will give you a more inviting presentation. The cat was a nice touch! 🐈⬛
@@ms.evegene yo chill... I got a 6head but I promise you this person was talking about the position in the frame of the device you are viewing it from. She sits in the lower right portion with a lot of space above her head. Not every comment is a dig. Your insecurities are jumping out.
@@ms.evegene Oops! 😄 Actually I was referring to the space between the top of her head and the ceiling. There should be more of her and less of the wall above her head on camera.
The European beauty standard is also the gold standard and it's just a fact of life. It is what it is no matter how much people complain. Sometimes we just have to accept certain facts in life and find other things to bring attention to ourselves such as good manners and hard work. Don't try to be something you're not. It always falls flat and looks foolish in the bargain.
European standards may be percieved as the gold standard....Doesn't make it true. It's freeing to just be yourself and embrace what makes you, YOU. I have nothing to prove to any other human, especially not ones prone to mass genocide used to enforce their ideals. Wouldn't have to force it if it were actually the cream of the crop, right? If we understood that, nothing could stop us.
What do you mean "is the gold standard"? Like it's objectively true? Because if so that's not what objective means. Not everyone find Europeans beautiful. Most probably don't. It's okay if you do, but there is no such as objective beauty just like there is no such thing as objectivity better flavors. Such a low-IQ hot take. Just because you feel strongly about something doesn't make it true.
@@user-xf1ms8pm8yWhere at all in the original comment did they mention anything about objective beauty? They simply said that white people are considered the beauty standard worldwide, which is the truth whether you want to admit that or not. Does that mean that people can't find other races more beautiful? No
@@miram2053 "Ones prone to genocide", glad to see this RUclipsr likes racist comments. Going by your logic, I'd have to call Africans, the ones prone to tell out their own people into slavery.
@@miram2053 Keep pretending as if every culture in the world has not used brutality at one time or another thruout history. What a false argument that has absolutely nothing to do with the topic at hand. However, considering that whites only make up 8-10% of the world's population (a true minority) you have to admit that we rock the nations if indeed we have conquered the other 90% of the world, as you suggest. Of course our culture is amazing and impossible to copy and also the envy of every other race (with good reason), hence the continued criminal break in of the white/European nations now being invaded on an unprecedented level. You never see anyone trying to break into Nigeria or Somalia. Just saying. Back on topic, according to every study ever done over the decades, and now with the advent of AI, European beauty always tops the list of most attractive-period. Asian women get eye surgery. Jewish women get nose jobs. In addition, we don't need studies because we all have eyes to see. Whites have hair of every color-black, brown, blonde, red and every shade in between. Our eyes can be blue, brown, green, grey. Sadly, people of color have brown or black hair and brown eyes- the end. Research also shows that of every race on dating apps today black women are the least picked. Not my opinion, just a cold, hard fact. If women of color truly believe they are more beautiful why this asinine, unattractive and fake trend of copying white hair? I mean, it never looks odd to see a black woman with straight hair down to her rear end. Or a black women trying to dye her hair blonde (which just comes out a brashy reddish gold). And now I see black women cramming contact lenses into their eyes to try and give the appearance of a blue or green eye. Again, that doesn't look weird at all. The jealousy is off the charts. While I do see videos like this one all over the internet I have yet to see a woman of European descent making a video questioning if their race is attractive. So, to answer your original thought, please just accept yourself as you were born and work with whatever the Lord gave you naturally, even if it never rises to the level of European beauty. Then we will never have to see another insecure video like this one.
so your answer is respectability politics? not my business but idk if that’s the road you want to go down cause it comes with some weird victim-blamey conclusions. trust me honey if my fuckass kin want to stereotype and prejudge a person of color, they will find a reason. best of luck to you though.
yes, politics and media go hand and hand. The issue is more than how White people perceive us...it's how we perceive ourselves and accept others to perceive of us.
@@niameshellI think It starts in the house hold, honestly. I think politics could benefit us but I do believe that creating an environment at home and in the community that teaches self love and acceptance of self, as in Blackness and Black beauty/talent then I think we could deal a deathly blow to the whole colorism/racism issue within our own community.
Yes it does start in the house, we could bring it down and say it start with the individual. Although politics is what will give us the space, opportunities, etc. if they still capitalizing of the ghetto then Black community needs to be more politically in charge of those communities. But yes it does start with ourselves.
I’m not in the community, but I have a lot of black friends who are meek and shy girls. All of them got bullied for it, but some of them changed for the beauty standard and the bullying stopped for them. It’s a hard ask to tell people to be more comfortable in their own skin when people react this way.
This is definitely what happened to me
I was that girl. We don't fit the beauty standard personality wise
Very very true.from what I’ve seen pressure on each Black girl differently. It could be to be expressive enough, feminine enough, and cool and thick enough. That’s why we should try to change the mindset of the bullies.
It is liberating when you no longer care to be somebody's ideal of what you should be. As a goth black woman I understand this too well, and hope others flip the bird to those who wish to change them to fit their imagined person.
These unrealistic standards are becoming a thing in South Africa.
Sad
Yes capitalism at its finest
I'm not sure why we care so much about society finding us pretty, I truly don't care unless they are being disrespectful about it. There are plenty of people that will date and actually prefer to date black women, even if we're not the standard of beauty. I found a partner and I like myself 🤷🏾♀️ that's enough for me
It is a big problem. It leads to other perceptions of us that effect how people (who also have to vote for the same laws) view us and our struggles. Finding us beautiful goes beyond just looks. A lot of them find us good looking. But appealing as a whole or a people is not there.
@@niameshellThe biggest reason why other races don't find us appealing as a whole has less to do with our looks and more with the stereotypes for how we act. Sure embracing our natural hair and looks would help, but that's only scraping the surface for fixing the way other people perceive us
@@LifeisaBeautifulting iii- I’m believing strongly that we’re meaning the same thing.😭😂
I'm a bit older and was raised outside of the US. I'm really surprised how things have evolved. I went to school where hair extensions, nail polish, eyelashes and makeup etc were all prohibited. And older women around me didn't wear those things either unless it was maybe a special occasion. Of course they wore makeup, nail polish and did their hair, but not to the extent as it's done today. Grandma wore her Sunday wig and some ladies wore extensions and special hairstyles to go to a wedding or what not. What used to be stage makeup and hair for performances and actors, I see people wearing around daily. At the same time, clothing have become completely inappropriate. I hope all women will come to embrace their amazing natural beauty.
European, beauty are illusions, to Africans, African American, Nubians the true Native Americans,Haitian Jamaican,Dominican, Puerto Rican, Australian, whatever you call yourself stop living there illusions. be yourselfs . Be in tuned with your natural nature.❤
You're a beautiful natural sister 😍
Thank youuu💙
I hope that day comes BC it's way past the due date. I see so much beauty when I look at your face. I see what's real without prejudice. You're a true beauty. ❤❤❤
Thank you😊
Young Lady you have knowledge beyond your age. Excellent points. Keep doing what you do. Thank you
Thank you so much🥹
clicked the thumbnail and legit this is so true like the bar and standard for black women is soo high its like the "work twice as hard just for half of what others get". its really sad
Twice as hard for half us very true!
I’m mixed and I get that too….it makes me angry.
Perfect bullet points and natural is true beauty🌿💯
!thank you
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder 😊❤
You won't survive in the blk community being soft. That's why we are never portrayed as soft. We value toughness
No, the Black community is like that due to centuries of emotional, physical and mental abuse. This is what a people who have never recovered from the trauma of their horrific past looks like. Society is hard and cold toward us and so we reflect that upon our children and one another as a whole.
We’re the only people in the world who are comfortable with being at odds with one another.
You are a product of your environment and have no idea. That’s truly tragic.
@Beyt_El My mother disowned me because I was not tough. She hated me for being soft. So don't worry, I know about the history and I know. We even exclude people from the community who do not conform to this norm 🖕🏿
I also had black friends who had issues with this and other black people have treated me away because of this behavior so again 🖕🏿🖕🏿🖕🏿
I'm actually planning a big event and a lot of you will be removed off of this planet when I am done since you all want to pretend like someone like me doesn't exist
@@Snookyboo I don’t think you lack presence. Not in the slightest. After all you are a part of our community. You matter just as much as anyone else. I’m sorry to hear your mother treated you with such contempt. It’s unfortunate but one of the hard truths in relation to the relationships we have with our parents and elders is that it is very hard to change their mindset and way of thinking.
You have to understand that these people probably experienced some pretty horrible things in order to treat their own children in such a manner. I’m not condoning what she did. Not in the slightest I am simply pointing out that trauma breeds more trauma. So it’s only normal that she would behave in such a way given the history of this country.
I don’t know what your relationship with you mother is like now but I’d suggest maybe putting distance between you and her if you can? Being around toxic people can be mentally and emotionally draining. You don’t deserve that.
The only thing I can tell you in regards to your issues with your family is that there is NOTHING wrong with weakness. We can’t possibly be strong 24/7. We’re human we make mistakes we feel vulnerable, we feel weak and incompetent at times. That’s normal and for anyone to make you feel otherwise is lying to you and is running away from their own weaknesses and insecurities. People tend to project their insecurities a lot without realizing it. Don’t ever let anyone tell you what you can and cannot do. You’re capable and you’re competent.
You belong here. Your existence matters.
I hope you really hear these words because I genuinely mean them.
Take care. ❤️
@@Beyt_El It wasn't just my mother. My older sister, who my mother would call "big ole tough gyal," also treated me like I was less than her because of it. And I didn't say anything about being weak 🤨 why did you mention that?
It was also the blk female friends I met growing up. One called me a brown noser for being sensitive with a bubbly attitude. I liked being positive, especially since I had it so hard at home. She was someone I even reached out to when I became really overwhelmed with my home situation, which went nowhere. She was the more adventurous one who went out all the time and started traveling by the time she was 21. She was the oldest child from a loving home with both her parents together in the home. A mutual friend of ours checked up on me a couple of years ago and told me how hurt she felt about being easily forgotten. She also had an older sister who was really tough like mine, and she was also more like me but funnier. We connected, and she even understood what i was saying, but the second time I saw her, she told me I shouldn't act the way that I do around other bp. I'm like, wtf? I randomly opened Instagram around this time and saw her in a picture with them. I'm like, oh, she's now included lol I've had similar situations with other bp
I felt like I was in the twilight zone but later remembered my older sister told a bunch of people she couldn't date gangsters because she's soft and will cry if she ever gets interrogated by a police officer. This was when she was around 18 or 19. By the time she was 20, she was pregnant by one of the guys in the hood who was about 10 years older than her. About 10 years later, she told me she likes guys in jail. I asked her why and told her that's weird, and that was the last time I questioned or called her out. She cut me off, too. I didn't really care because she always liked being the more responsible one, and she got more attention for it since my mom always praised her for being more assertive, independent , and street smart. I just told myself that if she likes all of that responsibility, then she's going to be the one carrying everybody, and that can get tiring in life. Especially for women. You don't get to rest in your femininity if your loving the attention of being the responsible one people should listen to and follow all the time.
My sister's behavior rubbed off on me because I was with her all the time, trying to mimic her but since she's cut me off i have had a hard time being like her (not really a bad thing). A guy barely yelled at me yesterday, and he made me start shaking and crying, so I completely lost everything that rubbed off on me lol. She helped increase my toughness since I tried to be like her, like younger sisters tend to do but I guess should not have questioned her. At this point it's just getting harder and harder to connect with bw.
That's just part of my experience as a bw, tho so I'm just not surprised with the representation. When I noticed it at first I was like wtf but then I looked at my experience and shut right up
It's crazy that the very people that require you to be an angel refuses to create a heaven for you! Then drag you through hell, and get surprised when you turn into a demon.
Great subject, keep talking about this! Your hair is quite flattering to your face, I'd like to see the side and back views.
Also, I was distracted by the amount of space over your head. A better positioned camera angle will give you a more inviting presentation.
The cat was a nice touch! 🐈⬛
Thank youu
Big space? Forehead? Just say her forehead is big. Mine is bigger and I'm very cute and fun😊😂
@@ms.evegene 😂😂😂
@@ms.evegene yo chill... I got a 6head but I promise you this person was talking about the position in the frame of the device you are viewing it from. She sits in the lower right portion with a lot of space above her head. Not every comment is a dig. Your insecurities are jumping out.
@@ms.evegene Oops! 😄 Actually I was referring to the space between the top of her head and the ceiling. There should be more of her and less of the wall above her head on camera.
Great discussion Nia👏🏽
Thank youu
❤❤❤
VERY SOUND ! THANK U !
Have you heard of Sunn M'Cheaux? He's absolutely amazing and a true champion of countering misogynoir!
No I haven’t, I look them up
@3:07, Hi Kitty. 🥰
U r so real.
☺️☺️thank youu
The European beauty standard is also the gold standard and it's just a fact of life. It is what it is no matter how much people complain. Sometimes we just have to accept certain facts in life and find other things to bring attention to ourselves such as good manners and hard work. Don't try to be something you're not. It always falls flat and looks foolish in the bargain.
European standards may be percieved as the gold standard....Doesn't make it true. It's freeing to just be yourself and embrace what makes you, YOU. I have nothing to prove to any other human, especially not ones prone to mass genocide used to enforce their ideals. Wouldn't have to force it if it were actually the cream of the crop, right? If we understood that, nothing could stop us.
What do you mean "is the gold standard"? Like it's objectively true? Because if so that's not what objective means. Not everyone find Europeans beautiful. Most probably don't. It's okay if you do, but there is no such as objective beauty just like there is no such thing as objectivity better flavors. Such a low-IQ hot take. Just because you feel strongly about something doesn't make it true.
@@user-xf1ms8pm8yWhere at all in the original comment did they mention anything about objective beauty? They simply said that white people are considered the beauty standard worldwide, which is the truth whether you want to admit that or not. Does that mean that people can't find other races more beautiful? No
@@miram2053
"Ones prone to genocide", glad to see this RUclipsr likes racist comments.
Going by your logic, I'd have to call Africans, the ones prone to tell out their own people into slavery.
@@miram2053 Keep pretending as if every culture in the world has not used brutality at one time or another thruout history. What a false argument that has absolutely nothing to do with the topic at hand. However, considering that whites only make up 8-10% of the world's population (a true minority) you have to admit that we rock the nations if indeed we have conquered the other 90% of the world, as you suggest. Of course our culture is amazing and impossible to copy and also the envy of every other race (with good reason), hence the continued criminal break in of the white/European nations now being invaded on an unprecedented level. You never see anyone trying to break into Nigeria or Somalia. Just saying. Back on topic, according to every study ever done over the decades, and now with the advent of AI, European beauty always tops the list of most attractive-period. Asian women get eye surgery. Jewish women get nose jobs. In addition, we don't need studies because we all have eyes to see. Whites have hair of every color-black, brown, blonde, red and every shade in between. Our eyes can be blue, brown, green, grey. Sadly, people of color have brown or black hair and brown eyes- the end. Research also shows that of every race on dating apps today black women are the least picked. Not my opinion, just a cold, hard fact. If women of color truly believe they are more beautiful why this asinine, unattractive and fake trend of copying white hair? I mean, it never looks odd to see a black woman with straight hair down to her rear end. Or a black women trying to dye her hair blonde (which just comes out a brashy reddish gold). And now I see black women cramming contact lenses into their eyes to try and give the appearance of a blue or green eye. Again, that doesn't look weird at all. The jealousy is off the charts. While I do see videos like this one all over the internet I have yet to see a woman of European descent making a video questioning if their race is attractive. So, to answer your original thought, please just accept yourself as you were born and work with whatever the Lord gave you naturally, even if it never rises to the level of European beauty. Then we will never have to see another insecure video like this one.
so your answer is respectability politics? not my business but idk if that’s the road you want to go down cause it comes with some weird victim-blamey conclusions. trust me honey if my fuckass kin want to stereotype and prejudge a person of color, they will find a reason. best of luck to you though.
yes, politics and media go hand and hand. The issue is more than how White people perceive us...it's how we perceive ourselves and accept others to perceive of us.
@@niameshellI think
It starts in the house hold, honestly. I think politics could benefit us but I do believe that creating an environment at home and in the community that teaches self love and acceptance of self, as in Blackness and Black beauty/talent then I think we could deal a deathly blow to the whole colorism/racism issue within our own community.
Yes it does start in the house, we could bring it down and say it start with the individual. Although politics is what will give us the space, opportunities, etc. if they still capitalizing of the ghetto then Black community needs to be more politically in charge of those communities. But yes it does start with ourselves.
I'm blk ?
Then go in Africa
??? its literally happening over there too?