Omg now I understand why I never did anything and even cleaning the kitchen was too much for me 😱 (nobody understands why, they think I'm lazy or mental not okay) thanks for this!!! Now I know what to do. I have cptsd and I gonna do action now! It is time to live the life I finally deserve and want! I promised myself when I was 6, I gonna be happy and I will be!!!
Lol!! “Cleaning my sandals”! Seriously!!! I resonate with this so very much!! Don’t make a big accommodation for yourself! Don’t mistake paralysis for self care! “Doing” and “being” are BOTH important!! I really like “small consistent actions”. Super vitamins!!! 🙏🏻✨✨✨✨
I’ve been excusing my paralysis for so many years. I couldn’t understand why everything felt so monumental for me when I could see others around me doing things like it was no big deal. The less I do, the more ashamed I feel; the more ashamed I feel, the harder it is to do things. Thank you, Anna, for telling the truth without condemnation. Watching videos like this one encourages me to keep trying and not be ashamed of small beginnings and slow progress.
ME TOO! I understand, I REALLY understand, you're not alone! I wish I could hug you, because I know the self loathing and shame is so painful... I'm sending you strength, support, and a reminder that you're loved- no matter what. ❤
Wow, she said my thoughts, "people without CPTSD don't know how hard we work at just being normal." I've often felt as though I work harder than most just functioning. It's a relief to hear it's not a mental illness, but sad too
@@tylerpurrden I agree. When I discovered CCFairy and found out what was (is) wrong with me, I binge watched all of her videos. I cried for a week or two while realizing how much work I have ahead. I am slowly minimalizing my belongings and imagining how peaceful it must be to have less clutter and being ready in time, while procrastinating a lot. It feels stupid, but self care is hard to do on a regular basis.
"Your strength is taking action." So true! When there's something I want to do, but I feel too scared to do it, I pretend I have a loving, wise mother who wraps her arms around me and encourages me. She tells me that I am safe, I am good, I can do anything one small step at a time. It really helps. Let's face it, the reason most of us procrastinate is b/c we have a voice in our head telling us that we're bad, we're f-ups, we can't do anything right. Confession: my loving, pretend wise mother looks a lot like Anna Runkle. Thank you, Anna, for all your videos. You have helped me tremendously.
I needed this cause I couldn’t do a simple thing like returning an item to the store. I saw this video and returned and I feel accomplished even though it’s the simplest thing.
I have lost money on several occasions because I just couldn't bring myself to do the thing I needed to do, like returning a faulty item. Totally get you but well done - it might be an insignificant little thing to others but we get you!
@@Feirin332 True, me too! And many of us have physical illnesses like ME/Chronic Fatigue/Fibro-myalgia which affect our bodies ability to actually make energy or the cortisol we are supposed to get in the morning to help us get out of bed only kicks in during the evening so we end up tired but wired and hyper. But not doing things because we can't ends up with us being able to do less and its a vicious cycle made worse by CPTSD. New science is showing that these illnesses are in our ANS (autonomic nervous system) which is located - you guessed it! in the brain... funny that. Am finding that many things I do that I thought was ME are actually due to CPTSD but I know that I was unable to get well from a simple teenage illness all those decades ago because of my awful home life. Its good to know that its not just me. Both conditions are healed by daily meditation and rewiring/resetting our thoughts when ever it goes back to the well worn paths of negative thinking. All the best everyone on your healing journeys.
@@abravebirdsaved5363 I once had to pay a £20 fine for an overdue library book. That was 15 years ago... wonder what it would cost now? Take them back and tell them that you have been struggling with illnesses/depression and they may let you off the fine. After all if you have CPTSD its kind of true but they may not understand that. Or you could get someone else to take them back for you.
It's ironic that when we shrink our world to a safe, predictable, small size in order to protect ourselves from overwhelm, our tolerance for stress shrinks with it - the opposite of what we are hoping for. I have to remind myself of this and keep trying things that are even just a tiny bit outside my comfort zone. I have to remember that the growth zone is right outside the comfort zone, but before the overwhelm zone- a tricky place to find sometimes!
I have recently come to realize that not taking the actions towards things that will ultimately make me happier, for example exercise, is actually a form of self neglect. Knowing this makes me feel more motivated to take care of that part of me that was neglected all those years. Hope it helps someone else out there too. All the best on your healing journey!
I want to acknowledge that I hear your message - about not identifying with the procrastination as self care and about taking action within your capacity. I understand more clearly because of you that my power lines in my ability to take action. I also want to acknowledge how deeply scary this is for me. To move through discomfort. To risk being seen - for better or worse. To feel present with the discomfort and pain and not to nurse it with inaction. To accept humility and to be honest with myself and the world with where I am. I wish I had more support around my CPTSD recovery within my life.
l have been thinking about this a lot recently. It's a major issue and l feel sick to my stomach before starting most projects. Wasting time and then feeling more stressed. Great to talk about it.
@@anns1921 And here I am one year on. Feeling less sick to stomach these days and the procrastination is not as bad but every project is now guaranteed to be late which is also stress inducing! :)
@@travelbug4536 God bless you TravelBug! I'm glad things are a little better for you but I am still hoping and praying that you and the rest of us find the healing and the peace that we so desperately need and deserve. No one should have to live this way. 🙏💖🙏💖🙏
@@anns1921 God bless you too my friend! Here I am with an job interview tomorrow morning. It's late and I have done nothing owing to my friend procrastination. Yes, I've had enough of living like this! Watching this video again :)
@@travelbug4536 I am praying for you and I bet you are a pretty amazing person whether you procrastinate or not. I hope and pray the job interview went well but no matter what remember to be kind to yourself and forgive yourself for the things you just can't do. 🤗🤗🤗
Currently procrastinating while watching this video 😢 The positive is this was my first video and I’m now redirecting my energy back to soap making in order to growing my business! This was extremely beneficial. Thank you!
What works for me is to think , "What is the smallest thing I can do towards whatever it is that I want to achieve" For example if I have planned on a previous day to go out for a walk for exercise, but don't want to do it on the day, I think, what is the smallest thing I could do and it might be to get out of bed, so I do that. Then what is the next smallest next thing I could decide to do and it might be have a shower, I keep making these small decisions and before I know it, getting it done takes over and I suddenly find myself half way through my walk. I sometimes think to myself "How did I gat here" and before I know it I've finished my 4 mile walk and I'm back home. Give it a go, it might work for you.
You really are a fairy godmother, Anna. You seem to say the things I need to hear just when I really need to hear them. Thank you for having taken action despite how difficult it is.
Thank you. Thank you .THANK YOU!!!! Just what I needed to hear today. After 10 years with a sash window that won't open and a landlord that wants to use non qualified odd job men.....Today I rang an expert and it won't cost that much to fix!!! Getting sorted with new storage heaters and insulation too. Am getting better but all the phone calls take hours and a lot of energy. But I will keep at it until improvements are made! Thank you for all your hard work making videos! It's really appreciated especially the one on healing CPTSD! So many helpful comments too!
Totally relate to this, Anna. When I was an undergrad and had to write a big paper, suddenly cleaning the bathroom became really urgent, and I hate cleaning the bathroom. Funny thing was, when I would actually submit the paper after weeks of suffering and procrastination, my professors would always tell me what a good writer I was.
Same exact story here, but I'd be having nervous break downs every time, it was so unhealthy. Now I have anxiety about finishing since it's been years & now there's all this fear I've racked up idk if I can at this age mentally.
Growing up I was always being called „lazy“. But what I was actually feeling was this „paralysis“ you‘re talking about. Even as an adult, I struggle to get out of it, and I do it one little step at a time. And, boy, are you right! Binging series on Netflix Does feel so good, hehe.
I’ve felt this for sure, more so in the past; at tines, it felt like I was climbing a mountain simply to ‘catch up’. Feeling more integrated than ever, now, it can hard to be patient. I don’t want to wait. It feels like I have waited LONG enough.
Thanks for mentioning that it took you 20 years to start crappy Fairy !! This helped me to get out of a rut and start something I put off for many years. Keep up this great work !!
This was really helpful. I've noticed I procrastinate a lot when stressed. Eg. Whenever assignments come up at uni, I am suddenly glued to the TV, online shopping, cleaning and binge eating. The whole time, feeling horrible and ashamed, but just not being able to. I think I just build up what I want to do in a perfectionist way and then cripple from the pressure. Exercise? I'm so scared of failing to lose weight, so let's binge eat. Study? I don't feel strong enough to be the motivated and successful person I want to be, so let's just watch TV. I seem to just be unable to "just do it" like this advice suggests though
Far and away my worst problem; okay - my only problem perhaps - is procrastination. There are days I can barely get dressed or brush my teeth, let alone clean or do anything productive. I want to live creatively and this isn't it. I will say, this work is helping tremendously in a short time. I'm hopeful. Jack Boland said "Action is the antidote to fear." Thank you. I can't thank you enough for your work.
Paralysis - I have used that term to describe myself. This hit me like a ton of bricks. Hope you can keep this conversation going... Thank you for these videos
Ive watched countless videos on this topic. Ive lived so long in the freeze response and paralysis. I know the feeling of life passing you by. Marathon sessions to get things done is how my family of origin did things, with lots of stimulants to get it all done. It was revelatory to realize that it can be disregulating! As an adult, I watched my mother in a total panic trying to clean the house on day. Its a painful memory, hard to see her that way. Its relieving to give it a name in regards to that memory, and my own struggles with serious debilitating procrastination. I used to always roll my eyes at the suggestion to do small bits at a time. Oh okay. It just seemed so out of reach to be that consistent with anything. Im trying to do the meditation again, and the concept of making that mental space for myself is just changing me some how. After being awake for over 24 hours, with a stressful situation at the end of that, feeling a bit off physically, I woke up this morning still on little sleep, and got up, and stayed up, and began my day like a normal person instead of obeying the urge to go back to sleep and hybernate and avoid. Like Im awake, and feel like being awake. All signs point to hybernation! But I'm awake! And Ive been doing small bursts of things over the last couple days. I just needed to have it framed in terms of regulation and also get some, and then miracles happen. The mountain is still very large but now I know how to climb. The shortest and most helpful video of its kind.
Thank you for choosing to be the crappy childhood fairy. No words right now to express how much you have helped me and everyday I see how I am growing and healing. Eternal gratitude you came to assist my healing xxx
I found you a couple of weeks ago and this has changed my life. I'm not going to lie, I did wonder about how you pull this off. What miraculous breakthrough it was to be able to do this and this video today showed me just how honest you are about your own struggles. Thank you for not pretending to be"fixed". Thank you for teaching me that I can't talk the trauma away. I also found therapy to be reliving my trauma instead of relieving. I had a doctor once who told me he had a patient that "walked her fibromyalgia away" to which I said "she obviously didn't have fibromyalgia" I know my pain won't vanish if I walk more. If I over do it on a good day then I'm down two days trying to recover. So I have learned coping mechanisms like yoga, and water therapy that do help with mobility. My trauma is the same. If I get on a tangent whether in therapy or in social situation talking (diarrhea of the mouth) about my past traumas I find I need a few days to mentally recover. Not only from the dismembered past I dug up and laid out piece by piece but also the new trauma I just caused by horrifying the listener and embarrassing myself. Thank you for teaching me coping skills. Thank you for your honesty about how others see my symptoms and how they may react to me by pushing away or taking advantage. I'm 41 and for the first time in my life I feel like I know ME. Since being introduced to myself I now can help that hurt child I was and in doing so I see what I did as a young adult to drag that child with me. My whole life has been defined by CONTINUOUS traumas one after another feeling completely out of control. Now I know that only I can control me. I define myself today. I know I can't control when bad things happen in life but I can now control my choices and reactions without dragging my past into the present and continuing to neglect and abuse that precious child I once was.
Thank you for your honesty!!! You might some resources on the website that you connect with crappychildhoodfairy.com/, in particular, the free 'Daily Practice' course :) Welcome!
Sadly I struggle with this all the time. I hate being this way and I wouldn't wish it on anyone but it gives me such comfort to know that I'm not the only one who is dealing with this issue. I truly hope and pray we all find our way to a better and happier life. God bless!!!
You to me are a blessing, a hero, a lifesaver, proof of synchronicity. You make me cry for feeling understood. You make me laugh describing those things I recognize in myself. "Thank you" cannot describe the gratitude I am feeling, but Thank You! Imma keep on - not giving up. XO from Amsterdam
@khle82 and @HealienNation1 Thank you for filling my heart with what you just said. So glad you are here, and so glad I found a way to do something helpful!
My CPTSD has had me procrastinate pretty deeply. I’ve always gotten things done, however since ending my relationship and going no-contact with an abuser last year I have been feeling so stuck. This past year I made the decision to avoid meeting another man man because In my past my pattern was to always meet another man and jump in right away. I knew that in order to heal I had to learn to be single. I’m happy that I’ve learned to be comfortable with myself however my in-headed trauma has caused deep procrastination. I can heal from this, I am worthy to heal and so are you 🤗
Anna-over and over again you continually surprise and comfort me with how accurately you can articulate my dysfunctional living! I really needed to hear this today and I have a couple of friends I could send this to as well, but this is the kick in the pants I really needed. Thank you as always.
Thank you so much. I believe finding your channel is an answer to much prayer. I have been trying to overcome my issues of fear, procrastination and isolation for so long. I have spent so many years hiding these issues from others and it have brought me to the point of near suicide because I believed I was just defective and would never be able to overcome it and should just give up. Your RUclips videos are giving me true hope and real solutions to deal with what is going on with me. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for hope. 💜
I'm finding that having a hobby that I enjoy helps me when I feel like I'm on the downward spiral into mental paralysis. For instance, I have turned a bookshelf into a doll house. The past 3 days, I was an unstoppable force, totally motivated and I accomplished so much. Today, I feel the weight of wanting to couch surf. So I worked on a tiny project on the dollhouse, which brings me joy. I'm also learning to break bigger tasks into smaller segments of the same task when I'm feeling stuck. For example, if I need to clean the bathroom, I'll just clean the toilet and tell myself " good job, we will clean the sink in a while." That allows me to feel accomplished, and by days end, the bathroom is clean.
Your a blessing to so many people myself included. You have made such a difference in so many peoples lives. We all thank you for your work that you do for us. 🥰🙏🌻
I need to hear this SO much right now. I’m highly creative was blocked for a long time. Did The Artist’s Way. It massively shifted me. I have been returning to doing morning pages again now as I am self employed and my job is suffering now because I cannot create and put out content fast enough during this pandemic.
I hear you @M R! Putting out content is an ENORMOUS act that takes a great deal of ... everything.The pandemic has mysterious powers to discourage us. Be encouraged. Hold fast to your good vision!
A technique I use, along the lines of EMDR, - super simple and surprisingly helpful: to gain respite from the cauldron of thoughts and feelings and emotions, I just hold my gaze above the 'horizon line' (eyes open OR closed) - the 'stuff' stays BELOW the line...nice and quiet above the line - the hard part is resisting the urge to dive back into the juicy, tempting broth...! - handy during meditation -
I have been listening to the CCF videos for a couple of weeks now and applying all the tools in helping to manage my CPTSD symptoms (dysregulation). However, I have been paralyzed with.... I did not know what, but it was procrastination that kept me stuck at home, and was keeping me sick. I did get much better at dealing with dysregulation but this ONE thorn in my side was keeping me from the REAL happiness that Anna talks about in this video. After listening to this video, I got up off my ...couch, made a decision to take a small action step and visited the motorcycle shop that I had been volunteering at. (I had actually made friends there while hanging and helping out). To my astonishment, they were actually happy to see me, and that opened up the chance to make the commitment that would help set in motion, the active, freeing, routine I am now experiencing, and now, this is turning out to be the adventure I imagined it could be, when I first started at the shop. I am now experiencing some true and real happiness these days by breaking out of my procrastination. Thank you CCF!
During pandemic quarantine I pressured myself so much to *finally* do ALL The Things....what I did do was start making a Have Done list higher priority than To Do, and it helped reduce the negative self talk. Increased the positive self talk. And made it easier to add little accomplishments like Light A Candle (which would usually lead to positive things like some additional gratitude thoughts and calm breathing etc). It's just amazing to make little promises to yourself and keep them.
Thank you! I didn't even know what words to use to google search what has been happening to me. I'm so grateful for this video-the work you do and I'm so thankful I stumbled upon this insight!
Knowing about cptsd like you explain it was the first step to being concious about the mistakes I was doing always in stress, magical thinking, poor self care and exaustion, completly identified with trauma. Knowing intelectualy , but not knowing how to not be a hamster on the wheel. It was just after a collapse and many diseases later that I found you.
Your videos have been immensely cathartic. While I’m upset from time to time that C-PTSD took my childhood, teen years, and early 20s, at 26 I can say I’m blessed to find your content because I can start the path to enjoy the years to come! Thank you :)
@Russell yes! 26 is a beautiful age full of possibility, and a good time to shed the old stuff and become who you were made to be. Glad you are here! And btw, as hard as it has been for you, as much as it's taken, the CPTSD has also given you something -- a wisdom about the ways people suffer -- and this will inform all you give to the world throughout your life. You'll know what it's like.
I am so physically unwell all the time. Vertigo every day, migraines that can last two to three weeks, neurological pain. I get sensory overload. I can't make any commitments because of these things, plus the cptsd. I started with going for a walk every day no matter what unless I was too Ill. It's helping, but even just getting out of bed is the fight lol. I am trying so much to heal. I started your daily practise I could do it because it was free, so thank you. I do not have money for your other courses or therapy. This is part of the big issue for us. We cannot afford to pay for healing support because we cannot work at this point in game. The isolation is horrible. The doctors could never figure out my mysterious illnesses and pain as a child. I am so grateful that that is finally changing so hopefully young children can get the support early now instead of being medicated for being misdiagnosed. 💜
OOOoooh! I will do it tomorrow, or when my head is clearer, or when I have more energy. I would make a list...that got longer and longer then I would be overwhelmed and dispair. I have to learn various ways to either get myself or make myself do things. Such as thinking 'well if I can just get that one thing done then it is done'. I learnt to limit the items on the list, also the amount of time I would do certain things. I still struggle but it is just getting started sometimes. You mentioned something that it took me a long time to realise....often being good at something or actually just being someone who trys to get stuff done an result in more pressure and/or workload. So let me thank you for putting your heart and soul into trying to help the rest of us.
Thank you, Anna! I think that what I am dealing with might be better described as - 'CP'C'SD' - Childhood Post Chronic Stress Disorder...not so much trauma, but always swimming against the rip currents of dis-permission... My father was a narcissist/sociopath, so I was always just a bit player in his show...!
Well, not getting needs met as a kid -- to be seen, heard, to get a response and a reality check when needed -- does count as trauma. But I take your point, that chronic stress is real and it's significant enough to cause this "thing" we have. And "dis-permission." Great word! I get it!
I've been in therapy for years trying to figure out why I am the way I am, and you nailed it to a "T" in 5 minutes😂❤ THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU! "If nothing changes, nothing changes." It's time for me to do!!❤
It truly is such a challenge to even start, but starting is the way to move. So very hard to not be rolled up in a fetal ball, but when i eventually can, i do breathe better and my spirits do lift. Thank you fairy anna, for your kindness, compassion and understanding.💜
thank you so much for all you do. I can so relate to this. often the simplest tasks, even the most fulfilling tasks seem to require so SOOO much effort, planning, strategy ...and usually that is not at all true. you make these videos look effortless. knowing that you are wringing your hands for weeks prior makes me feel not so alone.
wanted to sleep. And going to anyway knowing that your right, I’ll dream about doing that. definitely depressed. Went home with the new eyes, came home sad. Silver lining, there is a way out. Thank Anna, I thought about you while I was there 🌻 P.S. I’ll do something in the right direction today, clean up the house. I’ve heard you mention that before, small steps to get this guy rolling again 🙏🏼 worked before I left. Confident it will again.
Oh thank you dear Ana! I haven't been procrasting for years and suddenly it happens. Litle by litle I found out that social mediay netflix, movies, series, music, talking for hours with friend is making me stuck I don't do the work. I have like so much things that I want to do and don't do it or I do it but not fully (if you know what I mean). So I am getting back to my to do list qnd stick to plan, bringing my energy inside. Thank you so much for this video, it was reaaaly helpful. God bless you ❤❤
it's taken me a lifetime to unpack this. that paralysis is 'learned helplessness'. that is the core result of over-controlling disapproval, neglect, shame and abuse. how to recover from that is all about self-empowerment - the core of confidence and living the life those that sought to control you ended up denying you.
I'm very grateful you chose the action and continue to choose to put your voice out here into the 🌎, Anna! I've been procrastinating for 30 yrs on having a website and creating resources for the people in the world of movement. It's helped to spend time imagining the look and feeling of getting the site done. Imagining getting through tech challenges! That WILL be a major sense of accomplishment. Thanks for all you do and are Anna!
Good point about making small, consistent progress. A lot of us struggle with all-or-nothing thinking, so if we can't do everything on our to-do list, we feel discouraged from doing anything at all. What helps me is to break my goals into teeny tiny tasks. No task is too small! For example, to make a Dr's appt: Day 1, open a drawer. Day 2, find the paper in the drawer with the Dr's phone # on it. Day 3, call to make an appt. Seems ridiculous, but this is a real situation I had. And once I get started, I can usually get more done than I planned. Another thing that helps me is to set myself up for success. If I'm having a bad day where I know I'm not going to get the stuff done that I wanted to, instead of giving in to despair I will at least set myself up for success the next day. For example, I will put my gym clothes right by my bed, or pack tomorrow's lunch, clean the kitchen, call that friend I've been meaning to call, or even watch comedy (not productive at all but it's better than despairing!) -- whatever easy, beneficial thing I can do that will free me up to focus on more important things the next day.
So many of your videos are about me! This one particularly today - I've got a flat full of clutter after lockdown started (I've had twenty one years of fibromyalgia ongoing) so I need to start uncluttering and contact a cleaning company who will help. This morning I have a kitchen sink full of washing up and I need to clean the things I need for breakfast, So that's doable! To clean a bowl and some glasses and leave the sinkful left in clean soapy water. And to stop beating myself up about it all... Thank you, Anna, and keep at it! Your wisdom and learning is valuable beyond description!
You're doing a great job...You're helping people to overcome their taruma...instead of watching Netflix you're helping people like me..may God bless you with happiness 😊
This is absolutely brilliant. In the middle of this video I got up and cleaned up the garbage in my bedroom to see what it feels like. I resonate so deeply with the idea of viewing paralysis as a form of self care.
Binging on your videos while insomnia rages on and finding so much benefit from your clarity and easy delivery, despite your own personal experiences with procrastination. Thanks again for sharing this with us. Appreciate it beyond words.
I'm so grateful that you created your channel. I have yet to come upon such an open & honest presenter. You are very courageous to share ALL of your painful stories & memories. Due to my dysfunctional family life, l am left with very very poor social skills, l may even have Asperger's but I have yet to be tested. Thank you!
Wow, this video was also perfect! It is so very familiar, the need to hide away, isolating, passiveness, trouble with decision making. Highly sensitive people have it as well but another part of me is just avoiding, self-sabotaging. Don't want to take care of me or take care of anything just like the way I was treated as a kid, neglected and abandoned. As if I'm tired of everything. I remember being still quite young when I envied old people because they know it all and have done it all and they are " ready", and what a peace is that! How sad not to look forward to your life but wishing to be close to the end of it, out of exhaustion and avoidance. And as you say it is a struggle to take action and just do it, and although it goes better, there are setbacks in difficult times and it stays a struggle. And that's stressful and costs a lot of energy, lot of ups and downs. Just only hearing how much energy it costs you to make these videos and how you also struggle with yourself gives me hope to start something bigger which I always wanted but thought it'd make me even more exhausted. I walk around with an idea in my head for at least 20 years too. I guess we are all little heroes... stumbling down and standing up every day a couple of times. I guess it was a Big think- video about childhood traumas ( a very shocking one) in which It was told that the life of such people is mostly much shorter due to early body changes, nerve system changes and therefore illnesses. In any case most of them are physically and/ or mentally not very healthy. But you are so on point, the conclusion mustn't be not trying - there are plenty of things we CAN do, even in small steps. And give ourselves a compliment if we succeed.
I forced myself in many things, but always exausted, brain fog, and not noticing that I wasn't taking care of my health. And then BUM! It's so scary not even noticing...After seeing your videos it was a relief and narrative of trauma voice made BUM! too.
Thank you so much Anna I was always told that it was ADHD that kept me from doing the things I should do particularly in the self-care department but now I know. this video fits so well with how I act. Awareness is the first step in healing♥️👍
Listen , Unless the hurry-up-wolves are chasing me into action , I lie around feeling utterly overwhelmed on every level . I wallow in muddy puddles of sloth . Uuuuggghhh. Thanks for the much much MUCH needed insight and guidance .
I know exactly how you feel. I could get weeks to do an assignment, I dont start till the day or two before. Its so stressful but I never seem to get the drive or willpower to do thimgs until disaster is about to strike
Thank you so much for your beautiful, invaluable work! So encouraging to understand the reasons and proactive solutions for trauma-related procrastination! 🙏
It may be hard work. It may be many hours. However, you're really good at breaking it down into simple, easy to understand, and implement tools. That is a gift!💜
Omg now I understand why I never did anything and even cleaning the kitchen was too much for me 😱 (nobody understands why, they think I'm lazy or mental not okay) thanks for this!!! Now I know what to do. I have cptsd and I gonna do action now!
It is time to live the life I finally deserve and want! I promised myself when I was 6, I gonna be happy and I will be!!!
Wow.. Same here. We will overcome.
It's amazing , right ?
Once you get some insight , it's liberating !
HOW does that work ?
Nevermind 😊
I'm just grateful that it does .
I understand. You are not alone
Lol!! “Cleaning my sandals”! Seriously!!! I resonate with this so very much!!
Don’t make a big accommodation for yourself!
Don’t mistake paralysis for self care! “Doing” and “being” are BOTH important!!
I really like “small consistent actions”. Super vitamins!!! 🙏🏻✨✨✨✨
Aww I hope you are doing well !
Don’t mistake paralysis for self-care. Great message. Thank you.
Yes, I just put that on a card to post. Thank you, indeed, Anna.
I’ve been excusing my paralysis for so many years. I couldn’t understand why everything felt so monumental for me when I could see others around me doing things like it was no big deal. The less I do, the more ashamed I feel; the more ashamed I feel, the harder it is to do things. Thank you, Anna, for telling the truth without condemnation. Watching videos like this one encourages me to keep trying and not be ashamed of small beginnings and slow progress.
Thank you for this kind comment. I wish you well!
you summed this up so well i screenshotted your comment as a reminder for myself
THIS!!!
I have exactly the same 😢
ME TOO! I understand, I REALLY understand, you're not alone! I wish I could hug you, because I know the self loathing and shame is so painful... I'm sending you strength, support, and a reminder that you're loved- no matter what. ❤
Wow, she said my thoughts, "people without CPTSD don't know how hard we work at just being normal." I've often felt as though I work harder than most just functioning. It's a relief to hear it's not a mental illness, but sad too
Meant to be a relief :)
-Cara@TeamFairy
It's liberating af but also makes me wanna burst into tears. You are not alone 💝
@@tylerpurrden I agree. When I discovered CCFairy and found out what was (is) wrong with me, I binge watched all of her videos. I cried for a week or two while realizing how much work I have ahead. I am slowly minimalizing my belongings and imagining how peaceful it must be to have less clutter and being ready in time, while procrastinating a lot. It feels stupid, but self care is hard to do on a regular basis.
"Your strength is taking action." So true! When there's something I want to do, but I feel too scared to do it, I pretend I have a loving, wise mother who wraps her arms around me and encourages me. She tells me that I am safe, I am good, I can do anything one small step at a time. It really helps. Let's face it, the reason most of us procrastinate is b/c we have a voice in our head telling us that we're bad, we're f-ups, we can't do anything right. Confession: my loving, pretend wise mother looks a lot like Anna Runkle. Thank you, Anna, for all your videos. You have helped me tremendously.
Aw, I'm honored, @Kiki_Lynn. I like your technique too!
I needed this cause I couldn’t do a simple thing like returning an item to the store. I saw this video and returned and I feel accomplished even though it’s the simplest thing.
Sahara AP I still have library books from last yr ! 😑
I have lost money on several occasions because I just couldn't bring myself to do the thing I needed to do, like returning a faulty item. Totally get you but well done - it might be an insignificant little thing to others but we get you!
@@Feirin332 True, me too! And many of us have physical illnesses like ME/Chronic Fatigue/Fibro-myalgia which affect our bodies ability to actually make energy or the cortisol we are supposed to get in the morning to help us get out of bed only kicks in during the evening so we end up tired but wired and hyper. But not doing things because we can't ends up with us being able to do less and its a vicious cycle made worse by CPTSD. New science is showing that these illnesses are in our ANS (autonomic nervous system) which is located - you guessed it! in the brain... funny that. Am finding that many things I do that I thought was ME are actually due to CPTSD but I know that I was unable to get well from a simple teenage illness all those decades ago because of my awful home life. Its good to know that its not just me. Both conditions are healed by daily meditation and rewiring/resetting our thoughts when ever it goes back to the well worn paths of negative thinking. All the best everyone on your healing journeys.
@@abravebirdsaved5363 I once had to pay a £20 fine for an overdue library book. That was 15 years ago... wonder what it would cost now? Take them back and tell them that you have been struggling with illnesses/depression and they may let you off the fine. After all if you have CPTSD its kind of true but they may not understand that. Or you could get someone else to take them back for you.
Mandy G - Thank you for your insight and sharing; I am new to this so have much to learn. All the best to you.
It's ironic that when we shrink our world to a safe, predictable, small size in order to protect ourselves from overwhelm, our tolerance for stress shrinks with it - the opposite of what we are hoping for. I have to remind myself of this and keep trying things that are even just a tiny bit outside my comfort zone. I have to remember that the growth zone is right outside the comfort zone, but before the overwhelm zone- a tricky place to find sometimes!
Yes yes yes!
This comment just healed something for me. Thank you for wording it this way.
I have recently come to realize that not taking the actions towards things that will ultimately make me happier, for example exercise, is actually a form of self neglect. Knowing this makes me feel more motivated to take care of that part of me that was neglected all those years. Hope it helps someone else out there too. All the best on your healing journey!
Wow, you are so right. I never realized that. Thanks so much!
So answer to not being able to do stuff is to do it. Brilliant
I want to acknowledge that I hear your message - about not identifying with the procrastination as self care and about taking action within your capacity. I understand more clearly because of you that my power lines in my ability to take action.
I also want to acknowledge how deeply scary this is for me. To move through discomfort. To risk being seen - for better or worse. To feel present with the discomfort and pain and not to nurse it with inaction. To accept humility and to be honest with myself and the world with where I am.
I wish I had more support around my CPTSD recovery within my life.
This is the only comment I’ve found that I can identify with.
l have been thinking about this a lot recently. It's a major issue and l feel sick to my stomach before starting most projects. Wasting time and then feeling more stressed. Great to talk about it.
Same here. I get to the point I want to throw up at even the thought of doing so many simple things.
@@anns1921 And here I am one year on. Feeling less sick to stomach these days and the procrastination is not as bad but every project is now guaranteed to be late which is also stress inducing! :)
@@travelbug4536 God bless you TravelBug! I'm glad things are a little better for you but I am still hoping and praying that you and the rest of us find the healing and the peace that we so desperately need and deserve. No one should have to live this way. 🙏💖🙏💖🙏
@@anns1921 God bless you too my friend! Here I am with an job interview tomorrow morning. It's late and I have done nothing owing to my friend procrastination. Yes, I've had enough of living like this! Watching this video again :)
@@travelbug4536 I am praying for you and I bet you are a pretty amazing person whether you procrastinate or not. I hope and pray the job interview went well but no matter what remember to be kind to yourself and forgive yourself for the things you just can't do. 🤗🤗🤗
Currently procrastinating while watching this video 😢 The positive is this was my first video and I’m now redirecting my energy back to soap making in order to growing my business! This was extremely beneficial. Thank you!
Ha ha! Growing your business is an excellent thing to do. And it will go better with healed trauma, so I still say you spent your time well!
“Action take in right proportion to you capacity”❤️
What works for me is to think , "What is the smallest thing I can do towards whatever it is that I want to achieve" For example if I have planned on a previous day to go out for a walk for exercise, but don't want to do it on the day, I think, what is the smallest thing I could do and it might be to get out of bed, so I do that. Then what is the next smallest next thing I could decide to do and it might be have a shower, I keep making these small decisions and before I know it, getting it done takes over and I suddenly find myself half way through my walk. I sometimes think to myself "How did I gat here" and before I know it I've finished my 4 mile walk and I'm back home. Give it a go, it might work for you.
Beautiful, simple advice that works. Thanks!
this is great, thanks!💖
Fantastic practical advice thanks
What an incredible advice! Thank you ! ❤😊
Absolutely. This helps me too.
I literally thought I was the only one "unable" to do something or anything. Wow, thank you for this video!
Same here. It's so nice to know we're not alone in this fight. God bless!!
Wonderful. I could never explain this crippling paralysis but knew it was not normal. Makes perfect sense with the CPTSD.
You really are a fairy godmother, Anna. You seem to say the things I need to hear just when I really need to hear them. Thank you for having taken action despite how difficult it is.
Thank you! Thanks for this sweet comment!
Thank you. Thank you .THANK YOU!!!! Just what I needed to hear today. After 10 years with a sash window that won't open and a landlord that wants to use non qualified odd job men.....Today I rang an expert and it won't cost that much to fix!!! Getting sorted with new storage heaters and insulation too. Am getting better but all the phone calls take hours and a lot of energy. But I will keep at it until improvements are made! Thank you for all your hard work making videos! It's really appreciated especially the one on healing CPTSD! So many helpful comments too!
Mandy G omg sooooo me! It’s those little things! So many times I’m like... why?! the dread. The invisible mountains.
Totally relate to this, Anna. When I was an undergrad and had to write a big paper, suddenly cleaning the bathroom became really urgent, and I hate cleaning the bathroom. Funny thing was, when I would actually submit the paper after weeks of suffering and procrastination, my professors would always tell me what a good writer I was.
Same thing happened to me. Lol My professors would say mine was the best paper meanwhile I stayed up all night to write it last minute 🤦♀️
Same exact story here, but I'd be having nervous break downs every time, it was so unhealthy. Now I have anxiety about finishing since it's been years & now there's all this fear I've racked up idk if I can at this age mentally.
Growing up I was always being called „lazy“. But what I was actually feeling was this „paralysis“ you‘re talking about. Even as an adult, I struggle to get out of it, and I do it one little step at a time. And, boy, are you right! Binging series on Netflix Does feel so good, hehe.
I’ve felt this for sure, more so in the past; at tines, it felt like I was climbing a mountain simply to ‘catch up’.
Feeling more integrated than ever, now, it can hard to be patient.
I don’t want to wait. It feels like I have waited LONG enough.
Nice problem to have!
Crappy Childhood Fairy:
Thanks, Anna, provided I don’t allow myself to become dysregulated❤️
Ooof.
Truth. Procrastinating now. Bullied as a young person seems to have messed up a lot of areas of my life.
Messed up, but it can be healed!
So glad you chose this over Netflix! You’re making a huge difference and helping people. You just can’t put a price tag on that! 💖
Well, sometimes when all the work is done, Netflix is pretty nice!
Thanks for mentioning that it took you 20 years to start crappy Fairy !! This helped me to get out of a rut and start something I put off for many years. Keep up this great work !!
Thank you!
This is my life. Don't know how I'll survive in this world. Life is tough. But I hope to get through and see myself fulfilling my goals
Good. One action at a time is what it takes. Not everything at once.
This made me cry. Thanks for all your efforts in making your videos.
Thank you. I also want to say that I feel better when I do the thing that I have been procrastinating about.
Keep in mind all of the people you have helped. Thank you!!!
This was really helpful. I've noticed I procrastinate a lot when stressed. Eg. Whenever assignments come up at uni, I am suddenly glued to the TV, online shopping, cleaning and binge eating. The whole time, feeling horrible and ashamed, but just not being able to. I think I just build up what I want to do in a perfectionist way and then cripple from the pressure. Exercise? I'm so scared of failing to lose weight, so let's binge eat. Study? I don't feel strong enough to be the motivated and successful person I want to be, so let's just watch TV. I seem to just be unable to "just do it" like this advice suggests though
Small steps :)
-Cara@TeamFairy
Far and away my worst problem; okay - my only problem perhaps - is procrastination. There are days I can barely get dressed or brush my teeth, let alone clean or do anything productive. I want to live creatively and this isn't it. I will say, this work is helping tremendously in a short time. I'm hopeful. Jack Boland said "Action is the antidote to fear." Thank you. I can't thank you enough for your work.
You're comments are always a joy for me. Thanks.
My list for today😁
Make bread
Make lemon cake
Prepare a room for painting
Clean bathroom
Listen to music while working
too much maybe...? Be blessed!
.....wow....?!?.....if i got all of that done in a week, id be thrilled?!!!~☆~
Paralysis - I have used that term to describe myself. This hit me like a ton of bricks. Hope you can keep this conversation going... Thank you for these videos
Ive watched countless videos on this topic. Ive lived so long in the freeze response and paralysis. I know the feeling of life passing you by. Marathon sessions to get things done is how my family of origin did things, with lots of stimulants to get it all done. It was revelatory to realize that it can be disregulating! As an adult, I watched my mother in a total panic trying to clean the house on day. Its a painful memory, hard to see her that way. Its relieving to give it a name in regards to that memory, and my own struggles with serious debilitating procrastination. I used to always roll my eyes at the suggestion to do small bits at a time. Oh okay. It just seemed so out of reach to be that consistent with anything. Im trying to do the meditation again, and the concept of making that mental space for myself is just changing me some how. After being awake for over 24 hours, with a stressful situation at the end of that, feeling a bit off physically, I woke up this morning still on little sleep, and got up, and stayed up, and began my day like a normal person instead of obeying the urge to go back to sleep and hybernate and avoid. Like Im awake, and feel like being awake. All signs point to hybernation! But I'm awake! And Ive been doing small bursts of things over the last couple days. I just needed to have it framed in terms of regulation and also get some, and then miracles happen. The mountain is still very large but now I know how to climb. The shortest and most helpful video of its kind.
Aw, this is such a pure good story. Thanks for sharing some of the details of what it's like to climb out. Very glad you found me.
Thank you for giving up your nights and weekends to make these videos, they make a HUGE difference for people like myself, thank you 🙏
I don’t have them often but, for a few moments there I didn’t feel so alone.
Thank you 🙏🏼
Thank you for choosing to be the crappy childhood fairy. No words right now to express how much you have helped me and everyday I see how I am growing and healing. Eternal gratitude you came to assist my healing xxx
Beautiful comments, thank you!
-Cara@TeamFairy
I just got up and brushed my teeth... you are an inspiration ! Thank you !
I'm glad you created this channel. Thank you!
Very important subject. Because of paralys we're getting poor, bored and it's Perfect ground for uhnhealthy relationships
I found you a couple of weeks ago and this has changed my life. I'm not going to lie, I did wonder about how you pull this off. What miraculous breakthrough it was to be able to do this and this video today showed me just how honest you are about your own struggles. Thank you for not pretending to be"fixed". Thank you for teaching me that I can't talk the trauma away. I also found therapy to be reliving my trauma instead of relieving. I had a doctor once who told me he had a patient that "walked her fibromyalgia away" to which I said "she obviously didn't have fibromyalgia" I know my pain won't vanish if I walk more. If I over do it on a good day then I'm down two days trying to recover. So I have learned coping mechanisms like yoga, and water therapy that do help with mobility. My trauma is the same. If I get on a tangent whether in therapy or in social situation talking (diarrhea of the mouth) about my past traumas I find I need a few days to mentally recover. Not only from the dismembered past I dug up and laid out piece by piece but also the new trauma I just caused by horrifying the listener and embarrassing myself. Thank you for teaching me coping skills. Thank you for your honesty about how others see my symptoms and how they may react to me by pushing away or taking advantage. I'm 41 and for the first time in my life I feel like I know ME. Since being introduced to myself I now can help that hurt child I was and in doing so I see what I did as a young adult to drag that child with me. My whole life has been defined by CONTINUOUS traumas one after another feeling completely out of control. Now I know that only I can control me. I define myself today. I know I can't control when bad things happen in life but I can now control my choices and reactions without dragging my past into the present and continuing to neglect and abuse that precious child I once was.
Thank you for your honesty!!! You might some resources on the website that you connect with crappychildhoodfairy.com/, in particular, the free 'Daily Practice' course :)
Welcome!
It made me cry. It is all about me. Thank you, I needed this encouraging words ❤
You're going to make ME cry. I'm really glad you're here!
Me too Svetlyachok... me too.
MAN OH MAN !
THANK YOU for being the Crappy Childhood Fairy instead of glut watching net flicks all the time .
You're saving lives !
Thank you for awesome comment 💪💜t
-Cara@TeamFairy
Sadly I struggle with this all the time. I hate being this way and I wouldn't wish it on anyone but it gives me such comfort to know that I'm not the only one who is dealing with this issue. I truly hope and pray we all find our way to a better and happier life. God bless!!!
Glad you're here, thanks for watching!
Aren't you amazing. We need you. Don't identify with the trauma.
What a kind comment. Thank you @Beryl.
You to me are a blessing, a hero, a lifesaver, proof of synchronicity. You make me cry for feeling understood. You make me laugh describing those things I recognize in myself. "Thank you" cannot describe the gratitude I am feeling, but Thank You! Imma keep on - not giving up. XO from Amsterdam
Beautifully stated, and I agree!! I am so glad I stumbled upon this channel by accident. Thank you, God, & Anna!
@khle82 and @HealienNation1 Thank you for filling my heart with what you just said. So glad you are here, and so glad I found a way to do something helpful!
And from Ohio
My CPTSD has had me procrastinate pretty deeply. I’ve always gotten things done, however since ending my relationship and going no-contact with an abuser last year I have been feeling so stuck. This past year I made the decision to avoid meeting another man man because In my past my pattern was to always meet another man and jump in right away. I knew that in order to heal I had to learn to be single. I’m happy that I’ve learned to be comfortable with myself however my in-headed trauma has caused deep procrastination. I can heal from this, I am worthy to heal and so are you 🤗
Great self-awareness! So glad you were able to try something new :)
Anna-over and over again you continually surprise and comfort me with how accurately you can articulate my dysfunctional living! I really needed to hear this today and I have a couple of friends I could send this to as well, but this is the kick in the pants I really needed. Thank you as always.
I'm so glad!
“Your strength is action”! Love that.
Glad that felt good to hear!
Thank you so much. I believe finding your channel is an answer to much prayer. I have been trying to overcome my issues of fear, procrastination and isolation for so long. I have spent so many years hiding these issues from others and it have brought me to the point of near suicide because I believed I was just defective and would never be able to overcome it and should just give up. Your RUclips videos are giving me true hope and real solutions to deal with what is going on with me. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for hope. 💜
This is a beautiful message -- thanks so much for sharing this and I'm SO glad you're here.
I'm finding that having a hobby that I enjoy helps me when I feel like I'm on the downward spiral into mental paralysis. For instance, I have turned a bookshelf into a doll house. The past 3 days, I was an unstoppable force, totally motivated and I accomplished so much. Today, I feel the weight of wanting to couch surf. So I worked on a tiny project on the dollhouse, which brings me joy.
I'm also learning to break bigger tasks into smaller segments of the same task when I'm feeling stuck. For example, if I need to clean the bathroom, I'll just clean the toilet and tell myself " good job, we will clean the sink in a while."
That allows me to feel accomplished, and by days end, the bathroom is clean.
Ones strength is action, positive quote. Thank you.
This is me and my struggle to get ready for bed..sounds silly, but I’ve always had trouble, which then affects my sleep, the next morning, etc etc..
Me toooooo!
Ah me too, I have so much anxiety about insomnia now that I will keep putting off going to bed, which obviously perpetuates the problem.
Just what ı am feeling right this moment!!
Your a blessing to so many people myself included. You have made such a difference in so many peoples lives. We all thank you for your work that you do for us. 🥰🙏🌻
Wow, thank you
This is my life 😭😭😭😭😭😭
I need to hear this SO much right now. I’m highly creative was blocked for a long time. Did The Artist’s Way. It massively shifted me. I have been returning to doing morning pages again now as I am self employed and my job is suffering now because I cannot create and put out content fast enough during this pandemic.
20 years! Thank you for making the effort. This is so inspiring. I love you!
XXOO
I hear you @M R! Putting out content is an ENORMOUS act that takes a great deal of ... everything.The pandemic has mysterious powers to discourage us. Be encouraged. Hold fast to your good vision!
A technique I use, along the lines of EMDR, - super simple and surprisingly helpful: to gain respite from the cauldron of thoughts and feelings and emotions, I just hold my gaze above the 'horizon line' (eyes open OR closed) - the 'stuff' stays BELOW the line...nice and quiet above the line - the hard part is resisting the urge to dive back into the juicy, tempting broth...! - handy during meditation -
I love this. Thank you.
I have been listening to the CCF videos for a couple of weeks now and applying all the tools in helping to manage my CPTSD symptoms (dysregulation). However, I have been paralyzed with.... I did not know what, but it was procrastination that kept me stuck at home, and was keeping me sick. I did get much better at dealing with dysregulation but this ONE thorn in my side was keeping me from the REAL happiness that Anna talks about in this video. After listening to this video, I got up off my ...couch, made a decision to take a small action step and visited the motorcycle shop that I had been volunteering at. (I had actually made friends there while hanging and helping out). To my astonishment, they were actually happy to see me, and that opened up the chance to make the commitment that would help set in motion, the active, freeing, routine I am now experiencing, and now, this is turning out to be the adventure I imagined it could be, when I first started at the shop. I am now experiencing some true and real happiness these days by breaking out of my procrastination. Thank you CCF!
What a great story, thanks so much for sharing!
-Cara@TeamFairy
During pandemic quarantine I pressured myself so much to *finally* do ALL The Things....what I did do was start making a Have Done list higher priority than To Do, and it helped reduce the negative self talk. Increased the positive self talk. And made it easier to add little accomplishments like Light A Candle (which would usually lead to positive things like some additional gratitude thoughts and calm breathing etc). It's just amazing to make little promises to yourself and keep them.
Nice work!
-Cara@TeamFairy
Thank you! I didn't even know what words to use to google search what has been happening to me. I'm so grateful for this video-the work you do and I'm so thankful I stumbled upon this insight!
You're very welcome!
Knowing about cptsd like you explain it was the first step to being concious about the mistakes I was doing always in stress, magical thinking, poor self care and exaustion, completly identified with trauma. Knowing intelectualy , but not knowing how to not be a hamster on the wheel. It was just after a collapse and many diseases later that I found you.
So glad that you showed up here!
-Cara@TeamFairy
Your videos have been immensely cathartic. While I’m upset from time to time that C-PTSD took my childhood, teen years, and early 20s, at 26 I can say I’m blessed to find your content because I can start the path to enjoy the years to come! Thank you :)
@Russell yes! 26 is a beautiful age full of possibility, and a good time to shed the old stuff and become who you were made to be. Glad you are here! And btw, as hard as it has been for you, as much as it's taken, the CPTSD has also given you something -- a wisdom about the ways people suffer -- and this will inform all you give to the world throughout your life. You'll know what it's like.
I am so physically unwell all the time. Vertigo every day, migraines that can last two to three weeks, neurological pain. I get sensory overload. I can't make any commitments because of these things, plus the cptsd. I started with going for a walk every day no matter what unless I was too Ill. It's helping, but even just getting out of bed is the fight lol. I am trying so much to heal. I started your daily practise I could do it because it was free, so thank you. I do not have money for your other courses or therapy. This is part of the big issue for us. We cannot afford to pay for healing support because we cannot work at this point in game.
The isolation is horrible.
The doctors could never figure out my mysterious illnesses and pain as a child. I am so grateful that that is finally changing so hopefully young children can get the support early now instead of being medicated for being misdiagnosed.
💜
So glad you have started the Daily Practice! If you left your email, you will also get notified about free zoom calls for even more support!
OOOoooh!
I will do it tomorrow, or when my head is clearer, or when I have more energy. I would make a list...that got longer and longer then I would be overwhelmed and dispair.
I have to learn various ways to either get myself or make myself do things. Such as thinking 'well if I can just get that one thing done then it is done'.
I learnt to limit the items on the list, also the amount of time I would do certain things. I still struggle but it is just getting started sometimes.
You mentioned something that it took me a long time to realise....often being good at something or actually just being someone who trys to get stuff done an result in more pressure and/or workload. So let me thank you for putting your heart and soul into trying to help the rest of us.
It is my honest pleasure :)
Thank you, Anna! I think that what I am dealing with might be better described as - 'CP'C'SD' - Childhood Post Chronic Stress Disorder...not so much trauma, but always swimming against the rip currents of dis-permission... My father was a narcissist/sociopath, so I was always just a bit player in his show...!
Well, not getting needs met as a kid -- to be seen, heard, to get a response and a reality check when needed -- does count as trauma. But I take your point, that chronic stress is real and it's significant enough to cause this "thing" we have. And "dis-permission." Great word! I get it!
I've been in therapy for years trying to figure out why I am the way I am, and you nailed it to a "T" in 5 minutes😂❤ THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!
"If nothing changes, nothing changes." It's time for me to do!!❤
It truly is such a challenge to even start, but starting is the way to move. So very hard to not be rolled up in a fetal ball, but when i eventually can, i do breathe better and my spirits do lift. Thank you fairy anna, for your kindness, compassion and understanding.💜
I'm crying. You help me so much. Thank you 🇬🇧
thank you so much for all you do. I can so relate to this. often the simplest tasks, even the most fulfilling tasks seem to require so SOOO much effort, planning, strategy ...and usually that is not at all true. you make these videos look effortless. knowing that you are wringing your hands for weeks prior makes me feel not so alone.
Thank you for this very kind message. I wondered if anyone would hear that...
Thank you so much! I feel understood now.
wanted to sleep. And going to anyway knowing that your right, I’ll dream about doing that. definitely depressed. Went home with the new eyes, came home sad. Silver lining, there is a way out. Thank Anna, I thought about you while I was there 🌻
P.S. I’ll do something in the right direction today, clean up the house. I’ve heard you mention that before, small steps to get this guy rolling again 🙏🏼 worked before I left. Confident it will again.
Yup, small steps :)
Oh thank you dear Ana! I haven't been procrasting for years and suddenly it happens. Litle by litle I found out that social mediay
netflix, movies, series, music, talking for hours with friend is making me stuck I don't do the work. I have like so much things that I want to do and don't do it or I do it but not fully (if you know what I mean). So I am getting back to my to do list qnd stick to plan, bringing my energy inside. Thank you so much for this video, it was reaaaly helpful. God bless you ❤❤
it's taken me a lifetime to unpack this. that paralysis is 'learned helplessness'. that is the core result of over-controlling disapproval, neglect, shame and abuse. how to recover from that is all about self-empowerment - the core of confidence and living the life those that sought to control you ended up denying you.
I'm very grateful you chose the action and continue to choose to put your voice out here into the 🌎, Anna!
I've been procrastinating for 30 yrs on having a website and creating resources for the people in the world of movement.
It's helped to spend time imagining the look and feeling of getting the site done.
Imagining getting through tech challenges! That WILL be a major sense of accomplishment. Thanks for all you do and are Anna!
Just a thought -- if you want to get a website done you can hire someone on Upwork. It's easy and not very expensive. That's what I did.
Your videos really speak to me. Procrastination has always been an issue. The paralysis is real!
It is real! Thanks for being here :)
Good point about making small, consistent progress. A lot of us struggle with all-or-nothing thinking, so if we can't do everything on our to-do list, we feel discouraged from doing anything at all. What helps me is to break my goals into teeny tiny tasks. No task is too small! For example, to make a Dr's appt: Day 1, open a drawer. Day 2, find the paper in the drawer with the Dr's phone # on it. Day 3, call to make an appt. Seems ridiculous, but this is a real situation I had. And once I get started, I can usually get more done than I planned.
Another thing that helps me is to set myself up for success. If I'm having a bad day where I know I'm not going to get the stuff done that I wanted to, instead of giving in to despair I will at least set myself up for success the next day. For example, I will put my gym clothes right by my bed, or pack tomorrow's lunch, clean the kitchen, call that friend I've been meaning to call, or even watch comedy (not productive at all but it's better than despairing!) -- whatever easy, beneficial thing I can do that will free me up to focus on more important things the next day.
This is a genius comment. Thanks so much for sharing. Everyone read this -- good wisdom!
@@CrappyChildhoodFairy Thank you! I really appreciate your channel.
So many of your videos are about me! This one particularly today - I've got a flat full of clutter after lockdown started (I've had twenty one years of fibromyalgia ongoing) so I need to start uncluttering and contact a cleaning company who will help. This morning I have a kitchen sink full of washing up and I need to clean the things I need for breakfast, So that's doable! To clean a bowl and some glasses and leave the sinkful left in clean soapy water. And to stop beating myself up about it all... Thank you, Anna, and keep at it! Your wisdom and learning is valuable beyond description!
It's reassuring when we know we aren't the only ones right!?
-Cara@TeamFairy
You're doing a great job...You're helping people to overcome their taruma...instead of watching Netflix you're helping people like me..may God bless you with happiness 😊
Thanks for being so supportive of the channel
-Cara@TeamFairy
All the time !!! So hard , good days in my mind are rare 😑
Literally... did not brush my teeth today. ❤️ love this and need this ❤️ ... thanks
So glad!
you are a mom to all of us
This is absolutely brilliant. In the middle of this video I got up and cleaned up the garbage in my bedroom to see what it feels like. I resonate so deeply with the idea of viewing paralysis as a form of self care.
Great!
-Cara@TeamFairy
I have spent 21years procrastinating.
Lots of us here get that :)
-Cara@TeamFairy
Binging on your videos while insomnia rages on and finding so much benefit from your clarity and easy delivery, despite your own personal experiences with procrastination.
Thanks again for sharing this with us. Appreciate it beyond words.
Wow, thank you!
-Cara@TeamFairy
I'm so grateful that you created your channel. I have yet to come upon such an open & honest presenter. You are very courageous to share ALL of your painful stories & memories. Due to my dysfunctional family life, l am left with very very poor social skills, l may even have Asperger's but I have yet to be tested. Thank you!
Wow, this video was also perfect! It is so very familiar, the need to hide away, isolating, passiveness, trouble with decision making. Highly sensitive people have it as well but another part of me is just avoiding, self-sabotaging. Don't want to take care of me or take care of anything just like the way I was treated as a kid, neglected and abandoned. As if I'm tired of everything. I remember being still quite young when I envied old people because they know it all and have done it all and they are " ready", and what a peace is that! How sad not to look forward to your life but wishing to be close to the end of it, out of exhaustion and avoidance. And as you say it is a struggle to take action and just do it, and although it goes better, there are setbacks in difficult times and it stays a struggle. And that's stressful and costs a lot of energy, lot of ups and downs. Just only hearing how much energy it costs you to make these videos and how you also struggle with yourself gives me hope to start something bigger which I always wanted but thought it'd make me even more exhausted. I walk around with an idea in my head for at least 20 years too.
I guess we are all little heroes... stumbling down and standing up every day a couple of times. I guess it was a Big think- video about childhood traumas ( a very shocking one) in which It was told that the life of such people is mostly much shorter due to early body changes, nerve system changes and therefore illnesses. In any case most of them are physically and/ or mentally not very healthy. But you are so on point, the conclusion mustn't be not trying - there are plenty of things we CAN do, even in small steps. And give ourselves a compliment if we succeed.
I forced myself in many things, but always exausted, brain fog, and not noticing that I wasn't taking care of my health. And then BUM! It's so scary not even noticing...After seeing your videos it was a relief and narrative of trauma voice made BUM! too.
You’re an angel 👼
I had my first free lesson 2 hours ago, that's easy, pleasant and I must say I feel fantastic! 😊 Thanks Anna!
Wonderful!
So much kindness in this woman eyes ❤❤❤
You're making a difference in my life, Anna. How can I ever thank you?
I have tons of things I want to do and I just CANT or won’t. Thanks for letting me know I’m not alone.
Thank you so much Anna I was always told that it was ADHD that kept me from doing the things I should do particularly in the self-care department but now I know. this video fits so well with how I act. Awareness is the first step in healing♥️👍
YOU ARE INCREDIBLE. I LOVE YOUR VIDEOS
Thank you @Allyson!
Listen ,
Unless the hurry-up-wolves are chasing me into action , I lie around feeling utterly overwhelmed on every level . I wallow in muddy puddles of sloth .
Uuuuggghhh.
Thanks for the much much MUCH needed insight and guidance .
I know exactly how you feel. I could get weeks to do an assignment, I dont start till the day or two before. Its so stressful but I never seem to get the drive or willpower to do thimgs until disaster is about to strike
@@michelleclarke646
Exactly !!!
Thank you so much for your beautiful, invaluable work! So encouraging to understand the reasons and proactive solutions for trauma-related procrastination! 🙏
For me, you were dead on correct. I did suffer CPTSD and I do procrastinate and cocoon. Thanks for aking these videos available.
Thanks so much for watching!
-Cara@TeamFairy
Thank you so much for all the hard work you put into these videos. I enjoy them so much!
You are such a great communicator! They way you brake things down into understandable pieces.
It may be hard work. It may be many hours. However, you're really good at breaking it down into simple, easy to understand, and implement tools. That is a gift!💜