John Larsen on Marriage & Divorce in Mormonism and Beyond
HTML-код
- Опубликовано: 24 авг 2024
- John Larsen, of Mormon Expressions Podcast, opens up about his own experience with marriage and divorce within the LDS church, and discusses how these issues can persist independent of Religion, as well.
This excerpt is from Mormon Stories episode number 1389 - “Catching Up with John Larsen (2021)”
The full interview can be found here: • Mormon Stories 1389: C...
If you enjoyed this video, please consider supporting the channel in the following ways:
* Donating to Understanding Mormonism at: donorbox.org/u...
* Sharing this video on social media
* Subscribing to this RUclips channel
* Emailing us at UnderstandMormonism@gmail.com with your questions, feedback, and suggestions!
#LDS #Marriage #Divorce #Family #Relationships
The older that Larsen gets, the more wisdom he has to share.
I wish I could like this a thousand times! I love this perspective on relationships and marriage! It's so freaking hard and a tragedy to force oneself into the wrong mold!
Larsen, an entertaining and validating part of my life in 2012, 13 and 14 as I struggled with my dying faith. Thanks Mormon expression.
This was a great interview.
This is my first time seeing this. As a child of one of those marriages: staying together for the kids isn't necessarily doing them any favors! I love both of my parents. They seem to make each other very unhappy and, from what I can tell, that has been the case for a long, long time. Like since I was a kid. I feel like each of them would have been happier not married to the other. And as their adult child, trying to get them into housing they can maintain for the rest of their lives, it's not easier or better dealing with the two of them together than each of them separately.
This may not make a lot of sense without details, but my bottom line: staying together for the kids is over rated and may not be doing your kids any favors.
The effects from a divorce are felt more in areas with a high LDS population. Plus the church focuses on eternal marriage and families together forever. Personal identities are entwined in this concept. So when marriages fail it is devastating to both parties. Social networks may include LDS members, and even fellow workers may be LDS. There is also stigma with divorce, particularly women who are divorced (single or single mothers). There is also the cancellation of the sealing which in the past was not cancelled until one of the two remarried. At one time, women had to write letters to the first presidency detailing why the marriage broke down. This furthered the shame and stigma attached to marital breakdown. The result of all this is that many women and men go inactive after a divorce.
This guys really gets it! I married when I was 20. Married in the temple, not one of my best friends was able to attend. I had no Mormon friends but they were the kindest, sweetest, most loving people I had the privilege of knowing. I was married 38 years...9 kids. I went to counseling to try and get some insight into where I was going if I continued with the divorce. My 2 youngest were 8 and 10 so they were my biggest concern. But I was miserable. I was also leaving the church at that time. I decided I could not live with my husband anymore and knew, for my kids best interest I had to get a divorce. The kids and I (all 7 of my oldest were out of the house) moved out, and my ex remarried 2 months after our divorce was final. My 18 yr old daughter wants nothing to do with my ex...her dad. And my 21 year old son is so conflicted. But the ex has been no kind of father to our 2 youngest. Breaks my heart. And yes, while we were going through the separation, the bishop "took my ex's side" on everything. This just added to the fire that was raging in me about the church.
I wish I could show this video to myself in 2006. After getting divorced the members of my ward and the bishop of the singles ward all made me feel very unwelcome. I left not long after and have never looked back. I got married a year and a half later to another former mormon. That lasted less than two years.
It wasn't until several years later that I realized that I was subconsciously trying to fix everything that went wrong the first time. Fortunately didn't have any kids with either of them. It was a really hard way to learn that marriage is not for me, and it's okay.
The next time I think I might want to get married again, I'll find someone I don't like and buy her a house.
The best way "being married untill you both die" was explained to me was not a physical death but the death of your love for each other and it is that couple's love and the death of your marriage. I agree if a relationship just can't be fixed why stay together and torture each other and yourselves?
Religions train smart people to act stupid. That is so true. Well, after I left the church I went through 2 divorces, so I'm sure my Mormon family's confirmation bias is ringing loudly.
I've said it before and I'll say it again. The difference between a religion and a cult is that cults always have strings attached. True religions are spiritual guidelines that are laid out so that people can live fulfilling lives based on philosophies and time-tested values. However, with true religions, there is no one to answer to, there are no strings attached (resources, etc.), and there is no specific laws you have to keep. Like Jesus said, it's about the spirit of the laws. So the one thing I disagree with John Larsen with is that I don't think religion and spirituality should go away, but rather cults. True religions, like the teachings of Jesus or Buddha, are some of the most useful and beautiful things on the planet. But yes, in most cases religions in our world make smart people act dumb.
What is the divorce rate on celestial(polygamous) marriages?
Religion is poison to the core.
@@drumdude10 About ( 1 in 4 ) of the national average ( 1 in 2 ).
@@RB-zh1eq Religious people would obviously disagree, and countries void of Religious freedom, are really not happy places to be.
That scripture was in the movie The Trial of the Chicago Seven.
Overall I DEFINITELY agree with what's being said about mormonism and how they treat sexuality. Even to this day it is OBSESSED with sex, but they teach it in the most unhealthy way possible. I remember as a 10 yr old kid being chased through the house by my dad who was screaming at the top of his lungs as he was trying to physically beat me because I got a love letter from a girl at school. I had to hide under my bed where his fat arms couldn't get me. And btw he was a super normal mormon. He was just super duper brainwashed and was so angry because his son wasn't "obeying the words of the prophet" by flirting with girls before I was 16. It was insane. And on tops of that they teach you to hate yourself, even as a heterosexual person. They hate straight people's sexuality just as much as they hate gay people's. So at least they're fair, I suppsoe.
Marriages create functional societies but divorces create dysfunctionally societies. There are women who have children out of wedlock without men and it is very sad for these children.
Was told I was going to hell for wanting to divorce my wife because of HER cheating. Ya. Fuk that.
Human sexuality at 5:12. The church rarely discussed anything to do with human sexuality. That is except to tell members "don't do it". And if the members do it, it is seen as shameful. Hence the person gets brought before a membership council.
💜
1 Nephi 11:36 Thus shall be the destruction of all nations, kindreds, tongues, and people that shall fight against the twelve apostles of the Lamb.
John on waiting for failure of ex-mormons at 0:27. Ex-mormons do the same thing, with their criticism of the church, waiting for its ultimate demise, and LDS discovering the "truths" they present as enough evidence for people to leave. I think the head trip ride ex-mormons were taken on is a Utah, Arizona or Idaho thing. The fact that your neighbors, family, friends and co-workers are LDS can't always be a good thing. People need some breathing space away from church. I live in an area where there are so few LDS I can go week without running into other members. The church has a been a refuge from the cruel world, and feels like another family. It's sad so many on this channel have negative experiences with the church.
Living together is not good regardless of religion. There is no real commitment from the beginning. As a divorced person I would never move in with a partner, never.
Getting engaged after three weeks at 6:40. John should not be blaming the church for that. There was no training of you to get engaged in three weeks. That stupidity on John's part. My Nana always said a one year courtship is best before engagement so you see how people are in every season. However there are people who got engaged in shorter time and the marriage worked out.
Mission Presidents often tell missionaries as they return home that their new mission is to marry and have children! I've met return missionaries who have done this! Tough to raise a family when they are struggling to support themselves! I met a return missionary who became engaged at the first church dance he attended the week he got home! Married soon there after! .Tell a return missionary to jump off a cliff and his brain kicks in! Tell him to marry and have a family and God will provide and no brain kicks in! Wisdom in return missionaries is severely lacking, they need leadership to tell them what to do! I was once a Mormon missionary, I'm not postulating my navel, I've seen it happen to those who follow every word and refuse to think! Its not unusual!
@@sidvicious2845 Yes MPs do tell missionaries to get married a year after they return. Not in three weeks! I think that's a world record even for an RM.
I think his intention is good, but this is bad council. Not that people should be sexually repressed, but he’s obviously biased when it comes to his perspective on marriage, and I think he’s fundamentally wrong.
Lol
How do you reconcile Joseph Smith, a grown married man, grooming and marrying children and other mens wives?
The problem is you think he's wrong but you cannot argue with good reasons. That's how you fail.
@@georgezeller6046 Still waiting for uzi to respond....