You are a wise man, James. I had a boyfriend (fortunately, not a husband!) who got annoyed with me when I called him out on some bs, and he disappeared for about a week. No phone calls, no texts, nothing. It took me 2 days to realize, that 1) I didn't miss him and 2) I didn't even like him any more. He came around after a week and was confused that I didn't want to see him any more. I consider his use of the silent treatment on me to be the best, and really, the only gift he ever gave me.
The thing about cults, and narcissists, is that they both work very hard to separate you from your natural instincts. The Browns struggled to live this religion but the cult convinced them that the struggle was part of the spiritual journey, not that they were in a cult made up by an 19th century philanderer. This is why the relationships between the parents and kids, husband and wives become so transactional. Love becomes Obey. Trust becomes Tow the Line. If your gut is telling you something is wrong, it's because you're not faithful enough. I commend anyone who goes through the deconstructive process to get out of that kind of thinking and find their truth!
I feel that they are 'All' victims of their Religious Belief System! Now they are trapped on this terrible reality show! I feel Bad for all of them, while they are all just trying to figure things out, and find their way! All of these Shows are Scripted 🎥🎬 for Drama!
You hit the nail on the head Mayah-that is exactly what this is an 19th century philanderer who wanted to justify his cheating what he basically is as a philanderer and a jerk
Exactly. Everyone talks about this show and tries to analyze but rarely do they take in account the culture & religious cult that they have been indoctrinated into most of their lives.
It bothers me that when Meri is upset and upset and crying that Robyn just sits there and stares at her. She doesn't offer any type of compassion to comfort her, it's disgusting
I've really wondered about the eternity belief. It was talked about A LOT when they were all together, but now it's never discussed. If being married for eternity is a core belief for this cult, and Ramen was "married" to these three women, then don't they have to deal with each other for an eternity now? Or is their God a real brethren from the man-o-sphere that says, hey - all these demands from chicks like, I want food, my kids need to eat, it's cold in an rv in a field, blah blah blah....that eternity thing doesn't count anymore if they get all demand-y.
Watched latest episode. Meri looks almost scared to interact with Kody. It’s disturbing. She giggles nervous laughter w Robyn as if they’re 11 years old. Most women married for 30 years have no issues telling their husbands exactly what’s on their minds. Even if the husband isn’t interested in hearing it 😂
I saw that too, and it was sad. I hated how she almost asked Robbin's permission to go. Acted like a little kid talking to a parent, or an employee talking to a boss for time off. I HATE the looks the gruesome twosome kept exchanging, sort of insinuating, there she goes again. Those two are so toxic.
So Meri believed that Robyn really was advocating for her with Kody. And because Robyn manipulated her, she stayed. Janelle didn't require much. And when he tried to turn her against her older children, she decided to leave. I believe she would have left sooner if she was financially able to. Christine i believe she stayed out of fear. He beat her down so much she stared to believe it. How could she make it. She's too ugly to love. But when she was done, she was done. That is my take
@@highjinx6519 love is actually the biggest reason people stay. Then money or lack therefore would be the second. But it depends on what they mean by "for the kids" If the perception is that the kids have a great relationship with this awful person, then it could be difficult to leave
@@grf5 if that’s the case a lot of people have a really messed up idea of “love”. I always hear people want to stay so the kids won’t have a broken home but then the whole house is miserable. I’ve always thought it’s a lot better for kids to have 2 happy families than 1 miserable one.
@@highjinx6519 Dysfunction knows dysfunction. I have seen women with black eyes tell me their man loves them. I've heard them say they don't want them in "broken " homes. You tell me
Too bad. I think the tell all would get its highest ratings ever if you did it and kody would only get paid if he answered all the questions to your satisfaction!!!!!!!!
This latest show, sitting in the kitchen with Robyn and Kody trying to talk Meri into living in a storage shed on Coyote Pass.... They just want her to pay for it for them. Then Kody takes Janelle out for her birthday and complains because he believes he's "just an object" to her. Are you kidding? I almost cannot watch this evil couple -- K and R -- any more.
The storage shed apartment where Kody keeps his stuff down below & Meri, the wife, he keeps on top for her money was just appalling. He wants to store Meri all alone on the property?
James, I left after twenty-one years. I loved him very much but, it was a difficult marriage, we both didn't communicate well. Seven months after I left, he passed away. I had to mourn twice, I still do. I appreciate your comments about valueing yourself. I left him at a low in his life but I could no longer be with someone that could ignore his family and deny love and affection. Thank you. I appreciate how you use the show to bring insight into situations in a reflective manner.
Sending you positive blessings. I know when I had my 3 kids had to leave my husband. I refused to raise my children around a father who drank all the time we remained very close friends I never denied him the right to see his kids and we stayed friends until the day he passed good luck to you and I hope everything works out for you❤❤
To all my codependent friends: this doesn't mean you should put up with your partner's alcoholism, verbal abuse , etc... the message is be willing to let them go to hold on to you.
@@grf5but it can be done. I left an abuser with. I thing but my kids, dog and one laundry basket. I didn’t even have shoes- they broke as I was running out the door and I kept running. Best of luck to you
@@Bekind94 i salute you for doing a difficult thing. I personally have never gone through a situation like this but you have my utmost respect for your courage. In fact I have daughters who, because of the Kody's in the world I make sure they have their own....I stand by my comments. Love is the main reason people stay in bad relationships. And money.....which I guess can be translated to fear. I try to understand and emphasize. Never judge
Try to find resources in your community. Make a plan and when you can get you and your children out. It's not easy. But it will get better. I hope you are able to do that when you are able. Stay safe until then. ❤
Because he gaslights them. He gets angry and then lets it sit in their minds and ghosts them. And then when he wants something from them he showers them with love and does special things for them. Look at this last episode "Janelle's Birthday surprise reservation dinner" 😩 I can't stand him!
I’ll say it for you James…they should leave. I’m sorry at this point Meri is a stalker. I never agree with Kody but this time it’s all Meri’s fault that the she keeps getting her feelings hurt. He has not strung Meri along he blatantly told Meri some years ago that he no longer wanted to be with her. Kody was honest with her. Meri needs to get some dignity and integrity for herself and move on. This is why women celebrated Christine when she picked up the pieces and showed Kody her strength and her dignity.
This latest episode tonight was just painful i dont understand why meri keeps hanging on she needs to just take her business and her money and go do something for herself that makes her happy. Kody is just a horrible person who doesnt see value in anyone who doesnt get his particular currency right. Its getting real toxic to watch. I do think janelle went on that date to test the waters and found out she didnt feel anything. makes sense
I knew it was that way but I suppose it didn't dawn on me that he is actually holding her spiritual salvation in his hands. Yeah. Its no wonder she is so differential towards him. I just saw a sad small man stringing a desperate woman along. Forgetting their religion is a mistake. We all know she was mostly invested because of her Moms influence. Now imagine if she leaves Kody, Meri's beliefs tell her she will never see her Mom again. Kody knows this and has no sympathy for her at all. It's so much worse.
@tifwilliams8327 “it’s so much worse” is so on point, excellent perspective! Without understanding of their deep religious beliefs, people can’t understand why these women stay and hang on so hard. And as you said about Kody, let me take it a bit further…people don’t realize how horrible of a human being Kody actually is to do this to these women.
When I left my abusive husband and I was in therapy , she gave me something that resonated with to this day. She said when you walk into a room, party etc, and you see someone you’re attracted instantly , stay away. Because he will be exactly the same as the person you have left. It’s you’re MO . You need to train yourself to go for a different type. Which I did. I married a friend and fell in love and we will be celebrating 30 years next year. Heed the advice ladies, it’s a good one 💞🌸💞
I can relate …There’s an analogy called “the frog in boiling water” that addresses why a person may stay in a toxic relationship - the water starts our room temp so you’re comfortable and then the temperature goes up slowly that one day you are in boiling water and you’re stuck. That they have the religious beliefs about compromising their eternity has got to be so much worse 😢 #partnernotaproject
I described the toxicity at my last job that way. I was the frog and it happened so gradually that by the time I realized how destructive it had gotten, I had been damaged.
I appreciate your take. You may not be a licensed psychologist (or you are?) but you see through Robyn and Kody and TLC and you don’t excuse abusive behavior and that take is needed in the world.
I appreciate this video, but the answer to why they stay is so much more simple and awful - truthfully, if you’ve been the victim of narcissistic abuse for upwards of 30 years the damage to your body, soul and spirit can take years and years to get out of, and some people never get out and even if they do a lot of them never get over it. Add the fear of that particular religious doctrine on top of that and it’s a miracle any of the wives ever got out. But it’s really difficult to understand it if you haven’t gone through it.
You are absolutely right. It’s always easier to see things from the outside looking in verses being in the eye of the storm yourself. Leaving is easier said then done.
I think it’s easy to see what’s going on; it’s just difficult to take the consequences of standing up for yourself in an oppressive system. You always pay a price, even if you are in the right. The Patriarchy will see to that!!!
James you are a jewel! I am convinced that you are a psychologist or counselor in real life! Your advice is always spot on and I hope that the OG3 are listening to you! Even if they aren’t, I know countless people are, and I hope that they apply your good counsel to their lives. Keep up the good work brother! I don’t have a brother, so I’m adopting you!
James, I have also hung onto relationships longer than perhaps is necessary for much of my adult life. My own dad taught me "not to burn bridges" with people and I over-incorporated that into my life. Probably one of the reasons I stayed in a marriage for 31 years that was difficult. I did grow and change and learn to trust and love myself enough to say "I don't deserve this treatment and I'm out!". It was the hardest, but BEST, decision I ever made. My own children applauded my loyalty to their dad, but celebrated my newfound identity and life. This second half of life has been wonderful and a blessing. I am now married to a man who is just right for me. We share respect and love and I know that I will no longer accept less than that from friend or loved ones.
I love your videos! Glad you were inspired by his thumbnail question. He has some good perspectives, but his ignorance about domestic violence made it hard to watch some of his videos. He has some learning to do about abusive situations. I guess we all do, but a lot of us have had more experience than others.
I agree! I used to like Poppsych's videos as well. However, the comments he made to his wife when they discussed the Jonah Hill situation gave me an entirely different view on him. His whole outlook on what happened with Jonah Hill made me question his judgement entirely. I no longer follow him. I do love James so much though. And Dr. Kirk Honda from Psychology in Seattle is amazing as well.
I have been asked why I stayed? (Not cult, just abuse. I heard myself.) At some point we resign ourselves. We say we can deal with this. We got this. So we ask ourselves, what is the big deal. This is life,, right? This is it. Yeah, you got this. Until that day or night when you say, no. And you risk it all and leave with nothing and live in even more fear but you do it. It"s always about the kids. It is a dangerous crux.
What an eye opener that people do stay in such terrible situations. Makes me so grateful for the past 35 years with a great man with whom I’ve raised a family and continue to plan a future. Choosing wisely paid off. ❤
STANDARDS BOUNDARIES EXPECTATIONS when you don’t meet my qualifications & requirements to HAVE access to ME, It then becomes really easy for me to move on… KNOWING your VALUE & your WORTH will never allow you to cast your pearls before swine… peace & blessings y’all.😉🌸🫰🏾
You are absolutely correct. I was there 10 years ago. One day, I just had it. Left after 35 years, he was so mad. I got a divorce and have never been happier.
No one's situation is cut and dry. There are many nuances (trauma bonds, love- bombing, etc) that factor into someone's decisions. We watch in hindsight.
Love it. You’re a real gem. Your insights are getting refined and I appreciate how much CARE you express to and about people. These women are figuring out what a lot of women are coming to see - to be happy you have to put your needs at the center, not a man, especially one with deep toxic traits. I love who the OG’s are becoming. Thx again!
I hope Meri has realized WHY Christine left and has empathy towards her. He abandoned Christine just as he abandoned Meri and he threw scraps at them just to keep them hanging. The same reason, the same treatment. Christine’s tolerance of Kody’s BS was just alot less. Why Meri didn’t see or realize what was happening to Christine and Janelle, was what has happened to her makes me think her separation from the family has been quite extensive for all these years.
" you may find that having, is not so pleasing a thing, as wanting" 🖖 I LOVE this man so much 😂😍😍 I already was a fan, but the fact James is a trekkie too?!! 😍😍😍
I can't say I really like Meri but I hope she realizes Kody is done with her. She is worth more than what he is offering and she doesnt need Robyn as a friend. Everyone deserves a chance at happiness even if its just living single. I hope that Janelle doesn't go back. I was worried Kody was going to love bomb her with the birthday dinner and everything would go back to the way it always had been with them. I was encouraged she said it didnt feel right to hold his hand. She's pulling away. Sometimes it takes one step at a time. Meri will probably find out shes happier away from all that mess as well. I love your take on things! I have to come here to chat about sister wives because I don't have anyone else to talk to about it. 😅
Yes!! Thank you! I stuck around in a bad marriage for much longer than I should have partially for religious reasons, partially financial, partially hoping that things would change, partly because we had kids. It takes a while to sort through all of this, especially when someone is constantly demeaning you and wearing away your self-esteem. I never judge someone who is staying in a bad situation. I may help them with advice or show them what the situation is, but I never judge. It is hard to sort through all of this and you have to strip away emotions that you are hanging on to. People need to know that they will be ok.
My theory(especially when it comes to Meri) is that not only do they get the direct income from the show but their other businesses are more successful because of their publicity from the show. Without the show and their social media followings they wouldn’t be able to sell near as much of their MLM stuff and Meri wouldn’t rent as many B&B rooms. I truly think that’s a lot of the reason Meri hasn’t left yet(according to the show timeline). I think Christine and Janelle will be just fine as Christine already has her cooking show and Janelle has never been afraid to work hard but Meri will be just fine as well as long as she makes smart decisions. Kody and Robyn will be the ones hurting once they lose all of the other wives’ income since they have such expensive taste. It will be downright poetic to watch.
There are push and pull factors in every relationship. Whatever is keeping you in it has to be a greater force than what is pulling that relationship apart. For some people that will be infidelity, others suffer abuse, still others emotional dissatisfaction. Some people just don't want to be alone. They will suffer tremendous anxiety and and pain to keep from experiencing solitude. I can't say I understand that because I have spent many many years of my life unattached. I think the reason I am happy is because I like my own company more than I like the company of others. What I have found is that when I have ignored that voice James talked about(I call that intuition) it has led me to pain and suffering. I do not ignore that voice anymore. I think we need to teach people how to be alone so that they can be together. I remember hearing someone say "Two halves make hole to fall into" because we think we need someone else to complete us. That is the exact opposite of what we need. We need the ability to be alone with our own thoughts.
My husband told me once when we were arguing that "we make it hard to love one another." It is not just him and not just me but both of us together along with our families. All of us grow up with different family values, religious beliefs, work ethics etc. It is the melding of everything that makes us work toward a greater goal. A healthy, happy family and life.
That is so sweet, I have PTSD and night terrors use music therapy to calm down but my music is heavy metal my husband does not care for it all but he can tell just by looking at me that I need to go deal with it because he can see me going into a panic attack he should just go back there and listen to your music. And he's a right. Well today was the same thing for him the music is reggae I don't like it but I know it calms him down so I go along with it that's what we do we have that connection we know each other. It is wonderful. Our work ethics are the same, right now I'm going through testings and surgery he's been such a wonderful help and I treat him to all of the little favorite things I can find them. I will sit through a cheesy movie with him and just cringe but that's life and that's just how it goes.
Who told James to stop saying “when rubber meets the road?” Those are my favourite moments. I wanted merch that said that! Bring back the When Rubber Meets the Road!
Mr. James spitting facts!!! Unless you're in the situation, you don't know how hard it could be to leave an abu~sive relationship especially when you have children.
What an incredible viewpoint you have and I thank you very much for starting my Monday morning in the right way I was married to a very narcissistic man who made me feel exactly the way that Kody makes these women feel, and it took me a long time to leave him and even a longer time to get over him, and it's true. When you wake up one morning and you're alone but happy. And then years later, we're talking almost 15 years later. I have finally found happiness with someone else. But you really need to find Happiness within yourself., because you don't want to share anger, frustration or hurtvurt with anyone else, c
i just stumbled across your channel today and i'm very glad i did - i'm loving the energy, as your personality and humor truly shine thru your videos. your insight & compassion are greatly appreciated :)
@mytakeonreality James as I watched the show last night I questioned whether or not they watch the show after it's aired because if so in Kody's confessionals Meri will get all the answers she needs. Also if he were a true PATRIACH he would tell her how he really feels BUT he said it basically he's stringing Janelle & Meri along because he doesn't want Robyn to lose respect for him. It's all about Robyn's wants & needs.
You’ve become my favorite content creator. I’d follow you even if you were doing videos about other subjects. Love your sense of humor. Sense of what it means to be a sincere man. Makes me wish I had a big brother like you for advice.
Late on this comment, but I love what James said: You can't love someone for who they were, you need to love them for who they are. I'm reminded of Kody delusionally believing he and Janelle could still reconcile: "I've been in love with Janelle before, I can be in love with her again." This was prior to him saying he never loved anyone but Robyn, but what it shows what Kody really wanted was for Janelle to not rock the boat or ask for anything which is what she had always done.
James, thanks so much for following the leading of the Spirit! Your message was what I needed to hear!!! I recently ended a relationship due to realizing that I wasn’t being treated the way I deserved and they were inconsistent. There are moments where I question if I did the right thing and if I should have given them yet another chance. I was having one of those questioning moments right before I came across this video. Your words were reassuring and I’m going to keep them in mind going forward!! Thanks again for sharing your insight with all of us. Keep being the amazing you!!
I am so sorry to hear about your loss. Take your time and try to love on yourself. I wish there was something I could say to make it easier. My heart goes out to you and your family.
I know some people don't understand why my husband and I are together, and we look at other couples we know and wonder the same thing, but once you have raised your kids and start coasting to retirement, growing old with someone who enjoys the same lifestyle and activities is desired. My exhusband and his wife live in a condo in a city, where they cant do any gardening or landscaping, can't decorate extravagantly for Halloween or Christmas, and they only have windows in the east and west walls. I would die there. My husband and I live in an old farmhouse on an unpaved road with cats and dogs and fruit trees and flower gardens. And windows facing north, south, east and west. So as for the Browns, I think if The rest of the family had been willing to move back to Utah, Christine might not have left. Janelle seems to like living in Flagstaff so she is content to let all this other stuff slide. Meri's situation is absolutely degrading and humiliating. And I actually agree with Kody, that Meri doesnt know what she wants..Or what she wants is unobtainable, and she can't focus on anything else
I think Christine was mentally leaving ramen-head for many years. Every time he hurt her another part of her was packed and ready to go until she was done so finally it was easy for her and hit Scrotie like a ton of bricks.
Kody has made it abundantly clear he does NOT want Meri. He does not love her, does not care what she does or where she lives. I don’t know what more Kody should do or say. This is on Meri…GURL, put on your big girl panties and take your life, love and money to the next phase. And as for Robin…girl bye!!!
This was refreshing, very anti-judgmental. I listen to the other 2 podcasters mentioned as well. Again, a refreshing take and reminder to us all. I recently curtailed my commentary, and have allowed for more grace as well, hell we've all played the fool before😂 sans the cult pressure. I don't play, act crazy, and lose all access to me, however, we all have our level of tolerance that we learn and grow from.
Just to speak from my own experience, when I was married 17 years I found out my husband had been cheating on me for the last three years. It took me another three years to end it because I believed that you stick together through good and bad. I felt he was going through a bad time and I would be a horrible person if I left when he was at a low point in his life. It took three more years for me to see what it really was and walk away. I had to leave when my own brain understood I wasn’t abandoning someone in their time of need but end the abuse I was going through in that relationship. I had to see him and the situation for what it really was on my own. I was very fortunate to have understanding and supportive friends and family who stood by me those three years of pure abuse not judging me and ready to help when my eyes were open and I was ready to walk away not looking back. I had to own my guilt and understand there was actually nothing to feel guilty about before I could leave him.
James! I knew I loved you, but today you quoted Spock, and now I will love you forever. From my prospective, as an ex-Mormon, I feel like Mary is hanging on because, way back when, she was promised, that if she'd just 'endure to the end' she would be rewarded in heaven. It's possible she views that 'still, small voice' as temptation from the devil, and not her own better judgement telling her to get away from Cody and his Medusa hair.
Love ya James! I HOPE Meri is staying for the money from the show. Maybe they have worked out a deal where each season a different wife will leave and they keep ratings up. It is painful to watch Robyn tell Meri to keep hanging on and they have to rebuild - Kody can't stand Meri and makes no secret of it. Hope Janelle can decide to leave soon. She's much too good for how she's being treated.
OH OH OH!! I love it. That is awesome. James don’t mess around. And he sure as shit won’t let Cody get away with anything Cody’s a philanderer point-blank. And James will hand Cody his own ass.
You are a wise man, James. I had a boyfriend (fortunately, not a husband!) who got annoyed with me when I called him out on some bs, and he disappeared for about a week. No phone calls, no texts, nothing. It took me 2 days to realize, that 1) I didn't miss him and 2) I didn't even like him any more. He came around after a week and was confused that I didn't want to see him any more. I consider his use of the silent treatment on me to be the best, and really, the only gift he ever gave me.
LOL. Ooops! A big miscalculation on his part. Love it!
That’s awesome, good for you! Hopefully for his own good he learned not to make that mistake in the future.
What a manipulator! You are SO lucky to have recognized that.
@highjinx6519 , I don't know. I haven't seen or heard from him in years. For his sake, I hope he has become a better person, but I doubt it.
my dtr had the exact thi g happen to her recently!! he was like wait....she was like naw!!! I'm good lol!! love it for u!
For those who don't know, Christine Brown and David Wooly tied the knot this weekend. I'm so happy for them!❤
Absolutely!
She looked so beautiful and love that he had a Darth Vader grooms cake. He sounds like fun and the perfect match for her.
Congratulations to Christine and her wonderful first husband ❤️ 💖 💕 💗
@@virginiamoore7323 first, only and always
The thing about cults, and narcissists, is that they both work very hard to separate you from your natural instincts. The Browns struggled to live this religion but the cult convinced them that the struggle was part of the spiritual journey, not that they were in a cult made up by an 19th century philanderer. This is why the relationships between the parents and kids, husband and wives become so transactional. Love becomes Obey. Trust becomes Tow the Line. If your gut is telling you something is wrong, it's because you're not faithful enough. I commend anyone who goes through the deconstructive process to get out of that kind of thinking and find their truth!
COGNITIVE DISSONANCE…
when keep’n honest goes horribly wrong.😏🌸🫰🏾
Kody is now Love 'Bombing' Janelle for her Birthday! I am just glad he is not yelling at Her 🗣️😣
I feel that they are 'All' victims of their Religious Belief System! Now they are trapped on this terrible reality show! I feel Bad for all of them, while they are all just trying to figure things out, and find their way! All of these Shows are Scripted 🎥🎬 for Drama!
You hit the nail on the head Mayah-that is exactly what this is an 19th century philanderer who wanted to justify his cheating what he basically is as a philanderer and a jerk
Exactly. Everyone talks about this show and tries to analyze but rarely do they take in account the culture & religious cult that they have been indoctrinated into most of their lives.
It bothers me that when Meri is upset and upset and crying that Robyn just sits there and stares at her. She doesn't offer any type of compassion to comfort her, it's disgusting
I've seen warmer conversations with people who can't stand each other.
I agree with you. If they treat you poorly in this life, WHY would you want to spend eternity with them?
I've really wondered about the eternity belief. It was talked about A LOT when they were all together, but now it's never discussed. If being married for eternity is a core belief for this cult, and Ramen was "married" to these three women, then don't they have to deal with each other for an eternity now? Or is their God a real brethren from the man-o-sphere that says, hey - all these demands from chicks like, I want food, my kids need to eat, it's cold in an rv in a field, blah blah blah....that eternity thing doesn't count anymore if they get all demand-y.
Watched latest episode. Meri looks almost scared to interact with Kody. It’s disturbing. She giggles nervous laughter w Robyn as if they’re 11 years old. Most women married for 30 years have no issues telling their husbands exactly what’s on their minds. Even if the husband isn’t interested in hearing it 😂
It was so sad. She is a victim of emotional abuse.
Indoctrination. In Meri’s mind Kody is still the head. She’s breaking rule. Plus she still wants to be in his favor.
I saw that too, and it was sad. I hated how she almost asked Robbin's permission to go. Acted like a little kid talking to a parent, or an employee talking to a boss for time off. I HATE the looks the gruesome twosome kept exchanging, sort of insinuating, there she goes again. Those two are so toxic.
So Meri believed that Robyn really was advocating for her with Kody. And because Robyn manipulated her, she stayed. Janelle didn't require much. And when he tried to turn her against her older children, she decided to leave. I believe she would have left sooner if she was financially able to. Christine i believe she stayed out of fear. He beat her down so much she stared to believe it. How could she make it. She's too ugly to love. But when she was done, she was done. That is my take
Funny how so many people stay “for the kids” and then finally realize that’s one of the biggest reasons they need to leave.
@@highjinx6519 love is actually the biggest reason people stay. Then money or lack therefore would be the second. But it depends on what they mean by "for the kids" If the perception is that the kids have a great relationship with this awful person, then it could be difficult to leave
@@grf5 if that’s the case a lot of people have a really messed up idea of “love”. I always hear people want to stay so the kids won’t have a broken home but then the whole house is miserable. I’ve always thought it’s a lot better for kids to have 2 happy families than 1 miserable one.
@@highjinx6519 Dysfunction knows dysfunction. I have seen women with black eyes tell me their man loves them. I've heard them say they don't want them in "broken " homes. You tell me
Christine had done the internal work before we saw her leaving Kody and before she told him...She was done and had worked it out in her head...
Hey James… been reading that you would be a pretty popular choice to run the next Tell All. Would love to see it!!!
Oh that would be GREAT! I'd love to see it!
Definitely! He hold some people's feet to the fire!
Id love to do it but I have a feeling TLC won't let me anywhere near the Kodster. LOL
Too bad. I think the tell all would get its highest ratings ever if you did it and kody would only get paid if he answered all the questions to your satisfaction!!!!!!!!
@@mytakeonrealityI might actually watch it if you hosted it lol. Otherwise, I'll just get the dirt here afterward.
This latest show, sitting in the kitchen with Robyn and Kody trying to talk Meri into living in a storage shed on Coyote Pass....
They just want her to pay for it for them. Then Kody takes Janelle out for her birthday and complains because he believes he's "just an object" to her.
Are you kidding?
I almost cannot watch this evil couple -- K and R -- any more.
The storage shed apartment where Kody keeps his stuff down below & Meri, the wife, he keeps on top for her money was just appalling. He wants to store Meri all alone on the property?
You’re right, James. It’s easy to tell other people what they need to do but it’s a lot harder to figure out what’s best for ourselves.
James, I left after twenty-one years. I loved him very much but, it was a difficult marriage, we both didn't communicate well. Seven months after I left, he passed away. I had to mourn twice, I still do. I appreciate your comments about valueing yourself. I left him at a low in his life but I could no longer be with someone that could ignore his family and deny love and affection. Thank you. I appreciate how you use the show to bring insight into situations in a reflective manner.
I'm wishing you peace on your journey.🕊️💙🐦
Sending you positive blessings. I know when I had my 3 kids had to leave my husband. I refused to raise my children around a father who drank all the time we remained very close friends I never denied him the right to see his kids and we stayed friends until the day he passed good luck to you and I hope everything works out for you❤❤
JAMES your speaking to my soul. I need people like u around me. Preach
To all my codependent friends: this doesn't mean you should put up with your partner's alcoholism, verbal abuse , etc... the message is be willing to let them go to hold on to you.
Leaving is hard. Especially if you have children and no money.
@@grf5but it can be done. I left an abuser with. I thing but my kids, dog and one laundry basket. I didn’t even have shoes- they broke as I was running out the door and I kept running. Best of luck to you
@@Bekind94 i salute you for doing a difficult thing. I personally have never gone through a situation like this but you have my utmost respect for your courage. In fact I have daughters who, because of the Kody's in the world I make sure they have their own....I stand by my comments. Love is the main reason people stay in bad relationships. And money.....which I guess can be translated to fear. I try to understand and emphasize. Never judge
@@Bekind94I hope you are in a great place now. It's hard but it gets better.
Try to find resources in your community. Make a plan and when you can get you and your children out. It's not easy. But it will get better. I hope you are able to do that when you are able. Stay safe until then. ❤
Id love to be a fly on the wall this weekend. Christine's wedding photos everywhere, lol salt on the ego of Kotex.
Because he gaslights them. He gets angry and then lets it sit in their minds and ghosts them. And then when he wants something from them he showers them with love and does special things for them. Look at this last episode "Janelle's Birthday surprise reservation dinner" 😩 I can't stand him!
Robin sent Kody out to get the wives back for the money so she don't have to work
Plus they might not have a show any more. Dumbies
I’ll say it for you James…they should leave. I’m sorry at this point Meri is a stalker. I never agree with Kody but this time it’s all Meri’s fault that the she keeps getting her feelings hurt. He has not strung Meri along he blatantly told Meri some years ago that he no longer wanted to be with her. Kody was honest with her. Meri needs to get some dignity and integrity for herself and move on. This is why women celebrated Christine when she picked up the pieces and showed Kody her strength and her dignity.
You and @PopPsych are are my favorites! In my opinion, you understand on a deeper level what is actually happening! Thank you for your insight!
This latest episode tonight was just painful i dont understand why meri keeps hanging on she needs to just take her business and her money and go do something for herself that makes her happy. Kody is just a horrible person who doesnt see value in anyone who doesnt get his particular currency right. Its getting real toxic to watch. I do think janelle went on that date to test the waters and found out she didnt feel anything. makes sense
Just placating him. She wanted him happy with her. She needed her money back.
I love a good Star Trek quote! Here’s another from Spock that I think is relevant here:
“If I were human, I think my response would be GO TO HELL.” 😁🖖
I knew it was that way but I suppose it didn't dawn on me that he is actually holding her spiritual salvation in his hands. Yeah. Its no wonder she is so differential towards him. I just saw a sad small man stringing a desperate woman along. Forgetting their religion is a mistake. We all know she was mostly invested because of her Moms influence. Now imagine if she leaves Kody, Meri's beliefs tell her she will never see her Mom again. Kody knows this and has no sympathy for her at all. It's so much worse.
@tifwilliams8327 “it’s so much worse” is so on point, excellent perspective! Without understanding of their deep religious beliefs, people can’t understand why these women stay and hang on so hard. And as you said about Kody, let me take it a bit further…people don’t realize how horrible of a human being Kody actually is to do this to these women.
When I left my abusive husband and I was in therapy , she gave me something that resonated with to this day. She said when you walk into a room, party etc, and you see someone you’re attracted instantly , stay away. Because he will be exactly the same as the person you have left. It’s you’re MO . You need to train yourself to go for a different type. Which I did. I married a friend and fell in love and we will be celebrating 30 years next year.
Heed the advice ladies, it’s a good one 💞🌸💞
I can relate …There’s an analogy called “the frog in boiling water” that addresses why a person may stay in a toxic relationship - the water starts our room temp so you’re comfortable and then the temperature goes up slowly that one day you are in boiling water and you’re stuck. That they have the religious beliefs about compromising their eternity has got to be so much worse 😢 #partnernotaproject
Excellent insight.
I described the toxicity at my last job that way. I was the frog and it happened so gradually that by the time I realized how destructive it had gotten, I had been damaged.
These wone have to be NUTS to want to spend eternity with Kooty! Ooops. You just said what I was thinking.
I appreciate your take. You may not be a licensed psychologist (or you are?) but you see through Robyn and Kody and TLC and you don’t excuse abusive behavior and that take is needed in the world.
I appreciate this video, but the answer to why they stay is so much more simple and awful - truthfully, if you’ve been the victim of narcissistic abuse for upwards of 30 years the damage to your body, soul and spirit can take years and years to get out of, and some people never get out and even if they do a lot of them never get over it. Add the fear of that particular religious doctrine on top of that and it’s a miracle any of the wives ever got out. But it’s really difficult to understand it if you haven’t gone through it.
You are absolutely right. It’s always easier to see things from the outside looking in verses being in the eye of the storm yourself. Leaving is easier said then done.
I think it’s easy to see what’s going on; it’s just difficult to take the consequences of standing up for yourself in an oppressive system. You always pay a price, even if you are in the right. The Patriarchy will see to that!!!
James you are a jewel! I am convinced that you are a psychologist or counselor in real life! Your advice is always spot on and I hope that the OG3 are listening to you! Even if they aren’t, I know countless people are, and I hope that they apply your good counsel to their lives. Keep up the good work brother! I don’t have a brother, so I’m adopting you!
James, I have also hung onto relationships longer than perhaps is necessary for much of my adult life. My own dad taught me "not to burn bridges" with people and I over-incorporated that into my life. Probably one of the reasons I stayed in a marriage for 31 years that was difficult. I did grow and change and learn to trust and love myself enough to say "I don't deserve this treatment and I'm out!". It was the hardest, but BEST, decision I ever made. My own children applauded my loyalty to their dad, but celebrated my newfound identity and life. This second half of life has been wonderful and a blessing. I am now married to a man who is just right for me. We share respect and love and I know that I will no longer accept less than that from friend or loved ones.
I love your videos! Glad you were inspired by his thumbnail question. He has some good perspectives, but his ignorance about domestic violence made it hard to watch some of his videos. He has some learning to do about abusive situations. I guess we all do, but a lot of us have had more experience than others.
I agree! I used to like Poppsych's videos as well. However, the comments he made to his wife when they discussed the Jonah Hill situation gave me an entirely different view on him. His whole outlook on what happened with Jonah Hill made me question his judgement entirely. I no longer follow him. I do love James so much though. And Dr. Kirk Honda from Psychology in Seattle is amazing as well.
I have been asked why I stayed? (Not cult, just abuse. I heard myself.) At some point we resign ourselves. We say we can deal with this. We got this. So we ask ourselves, what is the big deal. This is life,, right? This is it. Yeah, you got this. Until that day or night when you say, no. And you risk it all and leave with nothing and live in even more fear but you do it. It"s always about the kids. It is a dangerous crux.
Excellent answer for that question. Always spot on, James.
What an eye opener that people do stay in such terrible situations. Makes me so grateful for the past 35 years with a great man with whom I’ve raised a family and continue to plan a future. Choosing wisely paid off. ❤
STANDARDS
BOUNDARIES
EXPECTATIONS
when you don’t meet my qualifications & requirements to HAVE access to ME, It then becomes really easy for me to move on…
KNOWING your VALUE & your WORTH will never allow you to cast your pearls before swine…
peace & blessings y’all.😉🌸🫰🏾
❤❤❤
You are absolutely correct. I was there 10 years ago. One day, I just had it. Left after 35 years, he was so mad. I got a divorce and have never been happier.
No one's situation is cut and dry. There are many nuances (trauma bonds, love- bombing, etc) that factor into someone's decisions. We watch in hindsight.
So true. It's always 20/20. It helps to share insight so we can strengthen our own resolve and maybe help someone else.
Love it. You’re a real gem. Your insights are getting refined and I appreciate how much CARE you express to and about people. These women are figuring out what a lot of women are coming to see - to be happy you have to put your needs at the center, not a man, especially one with deep toxic traits. I love who the OG’s are becoming. Thx again!
I agree! James is a gem, and so is your comment. I love what the OG3 are becoming, too.
I love your channel - so great to watch a sane man 'splaining things!
Another fantastic take James! Thank you for your wise advice!
Nailed it again
I hope Meri has realized WHY Christine left and has empathy towards her. He abandoned Christine just as he abandoned Meri and he threw scraps at them just to keep them hanging. The same reason, the same treatment. Christine’s tolerance of Kody’s BS was just alot less. Why Meri didn’t see or realize what was happening to Christine and Janelle, was what has happened to her makes me think her separation from the family has been quite extensive for all these years.
So true James Kody will never change
Not for the better anyway.
The other guy doesn't get narcissism or that there are different types he doesn't understand that kody is being a puppet for Robyn.
" you may find that having, is not so pleasing a thing, as wanting" 🖖 I LOVE this man so much 😂😍😍 I already was a fan, but the fact James is a trekkie too?!! 😍😍😍
“Our humanity “… love that! Right on! Right on. You’re hysterical. Your content is so sharp and just exactly how people live their lives!
You are the BEST James! Thanks for all you do! I watch all your videos! You break it down right!
I can't say I really like Meri but I hope she realizes Kody is done with her. She is worth more than what he is offering and she doesnt need Robyn as a friend. Everyone deserves a chance at happiness even if its just living single.
I hope that Janelle doesn't go back. I was worried Kody was going to love bomb her with the birthday dinner and everything would go back to the way it always had been with them. I was encouraged she said it didnt feel right to hold his hand. She's pulling away. Sometimes it takes one step at a time.
Meri will probably find out shes happier away from all that mess as well.
I love your take on things! I have to come here to chat about sister wives because I don't have anyone else to talk to about it. 😅
Yes!! Thank you! I stuck around in a bad marriage for much longer than I should have partially for religious reasons, partially financial, partially hoping that things would change, partly because we had kids. It takes a while to sort through all of this, especially when someone is constantly demeaning you and wearing away your self-esteem. I never judge someone who is staying in a bad situation. I may help them with advice or show them what the situation is, but I never judge. It is hard to sort through all of this and you have to strip away emotions that you are hanging on to. People need to know that they will be ok.
Me too
James on here preaching!!!!! I have to show this to my daughters when they start dating!!
thank you my narcisstist x left me 5 mths ago after 23 years . i needed to hear this . we had totally out grown each other i stay wayyy to long
I think they're staying right now and staling leaving because their income comes from the show.
My theory(especially when it comes to Meri) is that not only do they get the direct income from the show but their other businesses are more successful because of their publicity from the show. Without the show and their social media followings they wouldn’t be able to sell near as much of their MLM stuff and Meri wouldn’t rent as many B&B rooms. I truly think that’s a lot of the reason Meri hasn’t left yet(according to the show timeline). I think Christine and Janelle will be just fine as Christine already has her cooking show and Janelle has never been afraid to work hard but Meri will be just fine as well as long as she makes smart decisions. Kody and Robyn will be the ones hurting once they lose all of the other wives’ income since they have such expensive taste. It will be downright poetic to watch.
I hated the way Meri acted when she was trying to tell Robin that she was leaving. I was like why do you need her approval?
There are push and pull factors in every relationship. Whatever is keeping you in it has to be a greater force than what is pulling that relationship apart. For some people that will be infidelity, others suffer abuse, still others emotional dissatisfaction. Some people just don't want to be alone. They will suffer tremendous anxiety and and pain to keep from experiencing solitude. I can't say I understand that because I have spent many many years of my life unattached. I think the reason I am happy is because I like my own company more than I like the company of others.
What I have found is that when I have ignored that voice James talked about(I call that intuition) it has led me to pain and suffering. I do not ignore that voice anymore. I think we need to teach people how to be alone so that they can be together. I remember hearing someone say "Two halves make hole to fall into" because we think we need someone else to complete us. That is the exact opposite of what we need. We need the ability to be alone with our own thoughts.
Amen to that. Learning how to be alone and listening to your gut are 2 of the most important things that will lead to happiness.
My husband told me once when we were arguing that "we make it hard to love one another." It is not just him and not just me but both of us together along with our families. All of us grow up with different family values, religious beliefs, work ethics etc. It is the melding of everything that makes us work toward a greater goal. A healthy, happy family and life.
That is so sweet, I have PTSD and night terrors use music therapy to calm down but my music is heavy metal my husband does not care for it all but he can tell just by looking at me that I need to go deal with it because he can see me going into a panic attack he should just go back there and listen to your music. And he's a right. Well today was the same thing for him the music is reggae I don't like it but I know it calms him down so I go along with it that's what we do we have that connection we know each other. It is wonderful.
Our work ethics are the same, right now I'm going through testings and surgery he's been such a wonderful help and I treat him to all of the little favorite things I can find them. I will sit through a cheesy movie with him and just cringe but that's life and that's just how it goes.
Who told James to stop saying “when rubber meets the road?” Those are my favourite moments. I wanted merch that said that! Bring back the When Rubber Meets the Road!
History. Fear of ending a long term relationship. Could be many reasons.
Two channels I really enjoy. This should be good ❤
You are so on point. Thanks 😊
Mr. James spitting facts!!! Unless you're in the situation, you don't know how hard it could be to leave an abu~sive relationship especially when you have children.
I have subscribed and your content is both interesting and very insightful. Thank you
Awesome, thank you!
I need to listen to this every day...
very well said
I love that, you have not found anyone yet, because you are still learning to love yourself. Wow
What an incredible viewpoint you have and I thank you very much for starting my Monday morning in the right way I was married to a very narcissistic man who made me feel exactly the way that Kody makes these women feel, and it took me a long time to leave him and even a longer time to get over him, and it's true. When you wake up one morning and you're alone but happy. And then years later, we're talking almost 15 years later. I have finally found happiness with someone else. But you really need to find Happiness within yourself., because you don't want to share anger, frustration or hurtvurt with anyone else, c
i just stumbled across your channel today and i'm very glad i did - i'm loving the energy, as your personality and humor truly shine thru your videos. your insight & compassion are greatly appreciated :)
I love how you explained this.
I’ve nicely tried to explain to others in comments, but it never came across as well as your explanation.
Thank you
@mytakeonreality James as I watched the show last night I questioned whether or not they watch the show after it's aired because if so in Kody's confessionals Meri will get all the answers she needs. Also if he were a true PATRIACH he would tell her how he really feels BUT he said it basically he's stringing Janelle & Meri along because he doesn't want Robyn to lose respect for him. It's all about Robyn's wants & needs.
You’ve become my favorite content creator.
I’d follow you even if you were doing videos about other subjects.
Love your sense of humor. Sense of what it means to be a sincere man.
Makes me wish I had a big brother like you for advice.
I love your phrase a sincere man. Does James know what a tonic it is for him to be his great self and share his wonderful insights?
Late on this comment, but I love what James said: You can't love someone for who they were, you need to love them for who they are. I'm reminded of Kody delusionally believing he and Janelle could still reconcile: "I've been in love with Janelle before, I can be in love with her again." This was prior to him saying he never loved anyone but Robyn, but what it shows what Kody really wanted was for Janelle to not rock the boat or ask for anything which is what she had always done.
You have such a great voice!
Years and years of indoctrination, followed by decades of abuse and neglect from Kody….hmmm. It’s fairly clear to me why the OG3’s stayed for so long…
James, thanks so much for following the leading of the Spirit! Your message was what I needed to hear!!! I recently ended a relationship due to realizing that I wasn’t being treated the way I deserved and they were inconsistent. There are moments where I question if I did the right thing and if I should have given them yet another chance. I was having one of those questioning moments right before I came across this video. Your words were reassuring and I’m going to keep them in mind going forward!! Thanks again for sharing your insight with all of us. Keep being the amazing you!!
Omg I am first...lol jk I just wanted you to know I am a new subscriber who absolutely loves your take on this show.....❤❤
Yay! Thank you! Welcome.
James, you’re the best!!
U have helped me alot ! Sunday evening my boyfriend passed away. I am very sad & grieving the wonderful times we had together 😮
I am so sorry to hear about your loss. Take your time and try to love on yourself. I wish there was something I could say to make it easier. My heart goes out to you and your family.
Hey dude...just caught you. Haven't watched the whole thing but you seem funny. Go and best of luck 👍
I know some people don't understand why my husband and I are together, and we look at other couples we know and wonder the same thing, but once you have raised your kids and start coasting to retirement, growing old with someone who enjoys the same lifestyle and activities is desired. My exhusband and his wife live in a condo in a city, where they cant do any gardening or landscaping, can't decorate extravagantly for Halloween or Christmas, and they only have windows in the east and west walls. I would die there.
My husband and I live in an old farmhouse on an unpaved road with cats and dogs and fruit trees and flower gardens. And windows facing north, south, east and west.
So as for the Browns, I think if The rest of the family had been willing to move back to Utah, Christine might not have left. Janelle seems to like living in Flagstaff so she is content to let all this other stuff slide. Meri's situation is absolutely degrading and humiliating. And I actually agree with Kody, that Meri doesnt know what she wants..Or what she wants is unobtainable, and she can't focus on anything else
I think Christine was mentally leaving ramen-head for many years. Every time he hurt her another part of her was packed and ready to go until she was done so finally it was easy for her and hit Scrotie like a ton of bricks.
Everyone is staying for the money they make on the show. When you are “confused” means someone is conning you and you are fused into it
Kody has made it abundantly clear he does NOT want Meri. He does not love her, does not care what she does or where she lives. I don’t know what more Kody should do or say. This is on Meri…GURL, put on your big girl panties and take your life, love and money to the next phase. And as for Robin…girl bye!!!
Another home run. I cherish your wise words and compassionate insights delivered with unique original wit.
Your comment of hitting the thumbs up button on your way out made be laugh so hard. I Love your positive personality, and your content too!
This was refreshing, very anti-judgmental. I listen to the other 2 podcasters mentioned as well. Again, a refreshing take and reminder to us all. I recently curtailed my commentary, and have allowed for more grace as well, hell we've all played the fool before😂 sans the cult pressure. I don't play, act crazy, and lose all access to me, however, we all have our level of tolerance that we learn and grow from.
Thank you James I needed to hear that
Thank you for answering the question. I saw that question on PopPsych's video and I was really curious. But I don't really feel like he answered it.
I agree with the lov eyourself first - know who you are and what you need/want - what are the "deal breakers"
I love you and I love pop psychic! You both have such amazing takes on reality!
Just to speak from my own experience, when I was married 17 years I found out my husband had been cheating on me for the last three years. It took me another three years to end it because I believed that you stick together through good and bad. I felt he was going through a bad time and I would be a horrible person if I left when he was at a low point in his life. It took three more years for me to see what it really was and walk away. I had to leave when my own brain understood I wasn’t abandoning someone in their time of need but end the abuse I was going through in that relationship. I had to see him and the situation for what it really was on my own. I was very fortunate to have understanding and supportive friends and family who stood by me those three years of pure abuse not judging me and ready to help when my eyes were open and I was ready to walk away not looking back. I had to own my guilt and understand there was actually nothing to feel guilty about before I could leave him.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and knowledge
James! I knew I loved you, but today you quoted Spock, and now I will love you forever. From my prospective, as an ex-Mormon, I feel like Mary is hanging on because, way back when, she was promised, that if she'd just 'endure to the end' she would be rewarded in heaven. It's possible she views that 'still, small voice' as temptation from the devil, and not her own better judgement telling her to get away from Cody and his Medusa hair.
You are so brilliant. I can’t wait until u go live. Great video. .
Love ya James! I HOPE Meri is staying for the money from the show. Maybe they have worked out a deal where each season a different wife will leave and they keep ratings up. It is painful to watch Robyn tell Meri to keep hanging on and they have to rebuild - Kody can't stand Meri and makes no secret of it. Hope Janelle can decide to leave soon. She's much too good for how she's being treated.
You are not remembering the kids. If she pisses off Cody the "kids have to go without him for 2 weeks" your behavior effects the kids!
Kody is doing what he said. Becoming the devil.
💜💕💜 HBO 💜💕💜
Yessss James preach brother!
OH OH OH!! I love it. That is awesome. James don’t mess around. And he sure as shit won’t let Cody get away with anything Cody’s a philanderer point-blank. And James will hand Cody his own ass.
Thank you I really needed this today
Wonderful show ❤. Thank you so much for dropping this today ❤. Hope you had a great thanksgiving!
I just wanted to say that I love your content and really enjoy your perspective! Keep being awesome