"I Was Bullied For My Malformity" | How Physical Looks Affect Children

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  • Опубликовано: 21 янв 2025

Комментарии • 301

  • @theItalianshamrock
    @theItalianshamrock 2 года назад +1197

    I have a friend who had a weak chin/jaw. He was really quiet and wasnt confident at all. He got jaw surgery and his whole life changed. He was way more confident, talked to everyone, just overall way happier. How you look impacts your whole life

    • @PandaPower511
      @PandaPower511 2 года назад +20

      Personality and confidence matters more then looks teehee

    • @dagoat5232
      @dagoat5232 2 года назад +111

      @@PandaPower511 no it doesn’t

    • @seorwhite3333
      @seorwhite3333 2 года назад +2

      Facts.

    • @PandaPower511
      @PandaPower511 2 года назад +20

      @@dagoat5232 it was a joke

    • @thinking-ape6483
      @thinking-ape6483 2 года назад +26

      Did he try taking a shower?

  • @sabrinajnguyen
    @sabrinajnguyen 2 года назад +596

    Hi, dentist here: please bring your child to the dentist. We’re literally trained on dentofacial and craniofacial diagnoses. We’re the PRIMARY people who catch this in your children, not the paediatrician

    • @nectarshrub
      @nectarshrub 2 года назад +57

      My parents shouldn't have had kids. My teeth were neglected too long, and now as an adult I have to have a major jaw surgery to fix my bite in addition to the years of invisialign I'm going through now. I guess because I was deformed enough my parents didn't think it was worth the money. 😏

    • @GrandDuchessT
      @GrandDuchessT 2 года назад +13

      @@nectarshrub you're absolutely right. Throughout my whole childhood my whole mouth bone structure was literally making me look like a fish. After 5 years of retainers to correct my bone structure, 3 years of braces, 2 years of keeping my retainers at night to keep the result till I became 20, and lots of tears and pain, I finally have a normal looking face, can speak clearly, can close my mouth properly. It changed my whole life. If my parents didn't take me to the dentist and orthodontist back when I was in elementary school, I would require serious maxillofacial surgery later, and nobody could tell if it would be successful or not. I'm forever thankful to my parents for paying for my retainers and braces.

    • @jeffjackson5850
      @jeffjackson5850 2 года назад +1

      Look up mewing crooked teeth is 95 % environmental not genetics

    • @mely5580
      @mely5580 2 года назад +1

      @@nectarshrub same here. My parents didnt care about my huge overbite when i was i child. Unfortunately i dont have money for jaw surgery.

    • @abroom3908
      @abroom3908 2 года назад

      true!

  • @JD-hh2qb
    @JD-hh2qb 2 года назад +612

    I'm from an area in England where I was one of the only black kids in school.
    I was called ugly and names a lot in primary school. In secondary school I was not seen as ugly but not attractive. By the time I was 17 I had been asked to model and for the first time felt attractive and had girls after me.
    I think race and where you are positioned in the world plays a big role in how you are treated has a kid and an adult as well. Looks matter a lot but a good looking white person is always rated the highest compared to their ethnic counterparts.

    • @IONov990
      @IONov990 2 года назад +83

      As a black woman, I teased for having dark gums which is just a result of melanin. I had buck teeth I think from sucking my thumb too much and mouth breathing. I have a wide flat nose which I was teased about from elementary school up until high school. I was teased for having full lips but then Angelina Jolie popularized plump lips. I have an outie navel which I was teased about.
      I sometimes wish I was one of the popular pretty girls growing up.
      Some people have always received positive attention for their looks.

    • @JD-hh2qb
      @JD-hh2qb 2 года назад +28

      @@IONov990 you can tell the people who were always treated like they were good looking compared to the people who became good looking later on in life.
      What happens in life shapes you for a reason :)

    • @IONov990
      @IONov990 2 года назад +7

      @@JD-hh2qb Do you think people who were beautiful their whole life become arrogant as adults?
      I don't think I'm hideous now.
      I think I grew into my features but I still feel like an outcast or ugly sometimes

    • @JD-hh2qb
      @JD-hh2qb 2 года назад +14

      @@IONov990 not all of them but they can be arrogant, narcissistic, naive or a combination of the 2 or 3! A lot are raised into very good people. But with the age of social media it's very easy to fall into that trap for good looking people who come from good families or bad ones (especially females due to female nature).
      Everyone feels ugly sometimes, finding a style that suits you is key! What the most important is building a good skills in crafts that you love, good morals and friends. I wish my parents had the time to take me to play sports or play instruments I feel behind now but there is all my life to still develop!

    • @quietcell
      @quietcell 2 года назад +5

      I just wrote a very similar reply on a post above. Clearly many people of us have had this experience. I didn't become a model tho 😅

  • @Sandy-pm6kk
    @Sandy-pm6kk 2 года назад +433

    It can literally shape your entire personality and life. I was a super confident child, but I started getting acne around the age of 10 before all my peers, and as a result, I was self conscious before I even got to high school. I was literally wearing concealer in primary school! Today (age 21) I'm still super insecure even though I've never really been bullied and am usually considered attractive, and I'm convinced it's from getting acne so young. I would say children can be very aware of their appearances, even if adults might not realise it.

    • @Handereli
      @Handereli 2 года назад +14

      Dude, so true where you realise you are different in a "bad" way as a changes the way you see yourself in a big way. Was the same for me and my dry skin.

    • @steggyweggy
      @steggyweggy 2 года назад +1

      Definitely true. Especially since the way you think is formed a lot during the adolescence into adulthood stage

    • @whatsnew955
      @whatsnew955 2 года назад +2

      Omg this comment hits hard cause I have just experienced the same thing. I mean even you are an adult the unpleasant change of your appearance can have very profound and long lasting effect on you as well. Throughout my childhood and teenage years, I am considered as attractive and have a clear skin as well. But when I reached my 20s I’m clinically depressed and it messes up my hormone production causing me to have severe acne. This shit wrecked me, really fuck my self-esteem up completely. Not people around you treat you really differently but just how you perceive yourself from then. Glad that I been through that when I was at a more emotionally mature age so I know how to adjust my mindset towards the positive. But damn I can’t imagine experience this as a child. It’s legit fuck up.

  • @madhumita4377
    @madhumita4377 2 года назад +244

    I remember as a kid I was never given chance to participate in school competitions by my teachers because I was very average looking, the good looking kids were encouraged to take part in those competitions even though I would know more than them. Ik it's very insignificant but we had this dance competition where I told my teachers that I want to dance in front. She didn't even give me a chance but there was this girl who was really good looking and was given the spot. I danced in the back during rehearsals and in the final stage looking at the kids in front feeling so bad about myself. I was 6 but I knew why I wasn't given a chance.

    • @PhysiqueIndexdotcom
      @PhysiqueIndexdotcom 2 года назад +4

      it has happened with me as well.I was crying in my class room that time.

    • @audrey9able
      @audrey9able 2 года назад +1

      That's really so upsetting. Idk what place or culture you come from, but the opposite is different in where I am. Needless to say, I realized that people get on better with life if and when they're treated for their abilities besides their looks. So I'm happy for them. As for me, well I was always too shy and knew I look ridiculous doing activities being talentless.

    • @GothVibeWars
      @GothVibeWars 2 года назад +17

      @- Astor - it’s not a necessarily pedophilic thing (tho it is a problem in many institutions) it’s a natural human thing to just prefer better looking ppl in general regardless of age, putting good looking kids up front just makes the school and community look better in general and gives said community a better chance to be treated better (and perhaps get more funding)

    • @audrey9able
      @audrey9able 2 года назад +1

      @- Astor - I'm from the Philippines. Most of us are average looking...like really plain. But even if someone looks exceptionally good, most of the time someone's caliber is gauged (?) by their abilities and being able to socialize. I was mostly a quiet kid without a lot of the skills that are praised, like sports or being smart, and looked average. I think it's safe to say after all these years, a well-rounded teen is still seen as better in most schools and in students I observe before the lockdown happened. I'm sure bullying someone for their looks still happen, but that's thankfully frowned upon in most schools and the culture today, than even when I had been in school.

    • @viletoxxie
      @viletoxxie 2 года назад +13

      @- Astor - the halo effect is real. like she said, it doesnt even have to be sexual, just the way people approach you and act around you can come down to looks. people approaching you at all, really.

  • @weirdsock3032
    @weirdsock3032 2 года назад +336

    I think it's the most brutal when you were an attractive kid and slowly became increasingly more unnatractive during your adolescence.

    • @mavisdom-animeonpiano
      @mavisdom-animeonpiano 2 года назад +5

      Fr

    • @loth4015
      @loth4015 2 года назад +21

      Very true. In elementary school, you never even have to try, girls will want to be your friends, just as much as guys do. So you never develop any skills. Everything just comes to you effortlessly, and then puberty hits you like a truck and you suddenly become unattractive. Even worse: You never developed any social skills to make up for it.

    • @BitchChill
      @BitchChill 2 года назад +26

      I was ugly as fuck 11-14

    • @Thomas48484
      @Thomas48484 2 года назад +15

      @@loth4015 I wasn’t attractive as a child, but I have experienced that and it sucks. In elementary school I made friends without having to try. Later when I went to middleschool, I was suddenly hit with reality. Took me years to build up social skills.

    • @loth4015
      @loth4015 2 года назад +26

      @@Thomas48484 Some never develop social skills after that. Especially if you are so ugly that you only get bullied as a teenager.
      Even if you eventuall look average, it will have long-lasting effects. Brutal stuff

  • @suyogmagar193
    @suyogmagar193 2 года назад +334

    Sadly, the criticism often comes from the parents themselves

    • @janaekelis
      @janaekelis 2 года назад +34

      yes, my parents would constantly say side remarks about my features as though i could change them, set me up poorly for life and i still struggle today with my looks

    • @bunnyvoid
      @bunnyvoid 2 года назад +23

      yeah my mom always called me names cause of darker skin color... she had lighter skin color than me... just that i got my dad's tone...
      now it doesnt matter that much, since being fit and tan is better than being flabby and white like her.

    • @allin4one
      @allin4one 2 года назад +15

      @@bunnyvoid that's racial discrimination and it's a learned behaviour, your mom sucks. Subconscious evaluation of people's facial structures, however, is an evolutionary adaptation. It's a bit barbaric but served the purpose of avoiding deformities during sexual selection and ensuring that those without deformities would have the advantages in passing on their genes.

    • @bunnyvoid
      @bunnyvoid 2 года назад +6

      @@allin4one aww yeah i hope parents know better now... it rly destroyed my confidence thru teens and early twenties... she would tell me to not even try pretty dresses cause i had dark legs. I only felt beautiful now in my late twenties when i stopped caring what she thinks...

    • @missygirl5316
      @missygirl5316 2 года назад +1

      Yep...

  • @harsh3948
    @harsh3948 2 года назад +170

    I still hold a grudge on my mom for not getting me braces as a teen. We even had the money

    • @extravale
      @extravale 2 года назад +8

      get it now

    • @stronk8107
      @stronk8107 2 года назад +19

      Same. My family only did braces on my sister and I'm still bitter because she looks even better than I ever did.

    • @harsh3948
      @harsh3948 2 года назад +22

      @@extravale I need braces + jaw surgery now to undo the damage done….don’t have the cash for that.

    • @burpie3258
      @burpie3258 2 года назад +4

      @@extravale Braces in adulthood is not as effective

    • @SuperAnimecity
      @SuperAnimecity 2 года назад +9

      @@burpie3258 you should still get it done. I got it

  • @sumwitegurnm6558
    @sumwitegurnm6558 2 года назад +39

    In my high school district, all children read the book wonder in the fourth grade as a means to teach of how to treat other children with kindness. At the end of the year, we watched it in theaters. It’s so important that we teach kids to be kind because being bullied ruins a whole new batch of adults. Wonderful mention

    • @ultimateloser3411
      @ultimateloser3411 2 года назад

      But we let the adults treat each other like shit thus influencing these young children. Amazing world we live in

    • @teeohnetasse
      @teeohnetasse 2 года назад

      @sumwitegurnm6558 I agree with you that treating everyone kindly should start at a young age. Despite what the studies show, children are not as bothered by anomalies as we think. They are curious about someone else being different but usually brush it off as just a characteristic and would continue to play with them. I find the content on this channel interesting but we as a society should focus on remedying discrimination based on looks rather than telling people who look different to change what they are born with. I say all this as a mother with an eight year old daughter who has a port wine stain on one side of her cheek. As parents we have always taught her to love her stain and herself. She loves her port wine stain and identifies herself with it. At times she cries when she thinks that it might go away if she were to rub it too hard. Her friends in school are curious and usually ask if it hurts but it always ends there. They treat her just like all the other kids in school.

  • @nehalpradhan2229
    @nehalpradhan2229 2 года назад +114

    I'm 23 and just because of having bad teeth my teenage years was ruined. I never laughed openly or even smiled. memories are only filled with insecurities, . Don't even have social media because of awkward smile in every photos, never wanted to post them or delete soon after posting it. But things are looking positive as I have braces for last 2 years.

    • @khanyisilemakhubane9098
      @khanyisilemakhubane9098 2 года назад

      Wishing you'll the best. I have the exact same issue as you, just haven't gotten braces yet but once I get that money best believe I'm heading to the orthidontist

  • @NewCanadianTurtle
    @NewCanadianTurtle 2 года назад +68

    I can speak on this personally. It affected my world view and made me very bitter against other humans because people saw me as a freak.

    • @kyle4563
      @kyle4563 2 года назад +9

      I remembered this one tall kid who was my friend back in middle school, Wolfgang. He’s German, blond, brown eyed, but he had a lot of acne on his face, almost like a pizza. I think he still has it to this day.
      I could tell he was much more out going and had fun when he was younger. But ever since his acne breakout, he stopped smiling a lot and he called everyone a dummkopf, a few classmates made fun of it just to joke but he didn’t like it. He was more reserved and didn’t like the way he looked.
      I had acne too, but not as intense as his. But being friends regardless I think helped.
      But yeah, kids are brutally harsh. They’ll pick out anyone that stands out and analyze them. Their empathy isn’t as developed so they’ll just be brutally honest.
      Some parents, even well-intentioned ones aren’t fully aware of how important looks can be for kids. It changes people’s perception on life.

  • @Cosmic_Solace
    @Cosmic_Solace 2 года назад +51

    I was very tan, thin and clumsy as a child. One time I wanted to play a main character, and was told that I'm too ugly to be on stage even. Honestly, even teachers gravitate towards good looking kids. And once your self-esteem breaks, it takes years to unlearn.

  • @UghSheGiggin
    @UghSheGiggin 2 года назад +63

    I WOULD CONSIDERING USING THE WORD "MALFORMITY" INSTEAD OF "DEFORMITY". WHEN THE TEETH AND JAW BECOME USELESS OR UNRECOGNIZABLE CAN THEY BE CONSIDERED "DEFORMERD".

  • @eiffel108
    @eiffel108 2 года назад +47

    Also people(especially parents) need to be aware that people develop awareness on their attractiveness very early on in life so please stop making unnecessary comments about children’s appearance thinking they have no idea what you’re talking about that sticks with them forever

    • @GrandDuchessT
      @GrandDuchessT 2 года назад

      Exactly. I was constantly indirectly called ugly by my mother and it has scarred me. Even though I'm an adult, years later, I still believe I'm ugly, despite fixing my teeth etc. It's ridiculous how they think we don't take it by heart.

  • @annewilkinson9611
    @annewilkinson9611 2 года назад +173

    I was bullied for being "too skinny" as a child (in the 90's when we are told thin was supposed to be in) and others kids especially girls told me I was gross and they didn't want to be my friend or be seen with out with me because I was "too skinny". It felt like something totally frightening and out of my control since I ate exactly as much as the other kids and in so way consciously tried to be "skinny", in fact I would eat until I was painfully full trying to gain weight.

    • @BitchChill
      @BitchChill 2 года назад +3

      Now today you would probably be praised

    • @reilarus
      @reilarus 2 года назад +16

      @@BitchChill no

    • @lukebruce5234
      @lukebruce5234 2 года назад

      you didn't eat the same as other kids, your parents failed you

    • @carpet498
      @carpet498 2 года назад +23

      @@BitchChill Definitely not

    • @annewilkinson9611
      @annewilkinson9611 2 года назад +24

      @@lukebruce5234 Lol my parents gave me as much food as I could eat STFU. If it makes you feel any better Im currently considered overweight.

  • @afrostar7069
    @afrostar7069 2 года назад +74

    I was really ugly growing up fixed my face in surgery in my 20s. People now are super nice, women showing strong interest. Before my face made people angry, rude towards me and now they are doing the opposite.

    • @missygirl5316
      @missygirl5316 2 года назад +1

      What surgeries did you get?

    • @AnaSofia-xe2wg
      @AnaSofia-xe2wg 2 года назад +19

      Same for me but I'm a woman. Made me see the real way of the world.

    • @aubreyjames8795
      @aubreyjames8795 2 года назад +4

      @@AnaSofia-xe2wg Same but I’m so glad to not be blind about the world

    • @aubreyjames8795
      @aubreyjames8795 2 года назад +14

      Yep it’s like that when you’re black. People literally get angry when they see you (including other black people).

    • @schoolofhot
      @schoolofhot 2 года назад +2

      I’m so sorry for your experiences 🙏🏻 Thank you for sharing

  • @schoolofhot
    @schoolofhot 2 года назад +137

    I got made fun of sooo much. Mostly for my flat nose and the fact that I was very pale. I was born with SIDS and was a resussed baby. I lived on a breathing machine and lost all my front teeth from all the medication I was on. So my top jaw didn’t develop properly. I only grew front teeth at 8-9 and I spoke with a lisp. I was SO confident despite all of this 🤣 but I was 100% aware of how people treated me and it stuck with me forever. My brother made fun of me and used to tell me to wear a peg on my nose. Society needs help.

    • @alexmikaelson3509
      @alexmikaelson3509 2 года назад +1

      @@mikemondano3624 stupid troll

    • @aymanalamoudi1039
      @aymanalamoudi1039 2 года назад +8

      @Nesli Efendi I'm soo sorry, you deserved better.

    • @mhmmhm5995
      @mhmmhm5995 2 года назад +1

      That’s so cruel! I hope the brother gets humbled

  • @Zimuahaha
    @Zimuahaha 2 года назад +8

    I had an underbite as a young child. My dentist told my mother that if I didn't get braces ASAP, I would either have to get jaw surgery in the future, or pretty much be deformed-looking and have a lot problems, lol. I hated my braces at the time (I had to wear them from age 7 to age 16), but now, I am so grateful for them. Thanks, dentist! Thanks, mom!

  • @an6350
    @an6350 2 года назад +73

    wow this isn't something i ever really thought about since I was a good looking kid and all my physical insecurities only started in my teens. Very interesting and nice to hear a unique perspective

    • @IONov990
      @IONov990 2 года назад +2

      Wow. You're lucky you were a cute kid

    • @an6350
      @an6350 2 года назад +10

      @@IONov990 ehh true but i'd prefer to be a cute adult

    • @IONov990
      @IONov990 2 года назад

      @@an6350 oh I see

  • @personalaccount4971
    @personalaccount4971 2 года назад +10

    My mom made mistakes as a parent, but one thing I appreciate in hindsight is she never complimented me on my looks. I'm below average and might have improved to average, but I looked rough for a very long time. Instead, she complimented other things about me. I do wish I would've gotten medical treatment when I needed it, though, as peer abuse is really an awful thing to go through

  • @veganphilosopher1975
    @veganphilosopher1975 2 года назад +6

    This is your most important video yet.
    Thanks for having the courage to critically address such a difficult topic.

  • @laci2966
    @laci2966 2 года назад +20

    I feel like dentists play a more important role in this rather than a pediatrician.

  • @liftedjoshua1332
    @liftedjoshua1332 2 года назад +30

    Can you do a video on the difference in attractiveness as a child and as an adult and could you talk about whether attractive adults are usually attractive kids or whether most attractive adults have to go through a glow up stage

  • @icarus6087
    @icarus6087 2 года назад +16

    And then you have cases like me when a professional orthodontist screws your jaw over and now you have TMJ and facial asymmetry not even mentioning all that pain the stupid treatments caused growing up. I guess it hurts the most when they don't admit to their mistakes but their employees admit that it was his fault and then he gets to yell at you for nothing. That experience scarred me for life.

  • @missygirl5316
    @missygirl5316 2 года назад +40

    I was terribly bullied for being ugly especially by boys

    • @arunmoses2197
      @arunmoses2197 2 года назад

      If you are still ugly and it is because of your structure, maybe you should consider plastic surgery?

  • @BigV24
    @BigV24 2 года назад +88

    Attractive as a young child, overweight and unattractive through middle school and high school and glowed up and attractive again at University. My mum always encouraged me (positively to lose the extra weight). She must’ve known the potential 😩😂❤️ she is so proud now 🤣

    • @akiraasmr3002
      @akiraasmr3002 2 года назад +6

      Same haha I got guys on tinder wanting to hang out with me all the time telling me im so hot or beautiful now and im still a loner from being unconfident when I was an unattractive teen so its hard for me to come out of my comfort zone.

    • @akiraasmr3002
      @akiraasmr3002 2 года назад

      But right now it doenst even matter because im in love with one boy only and he happens to be my best friend. It sucks because im so in love with him and he is literally the most beautiful boy in the whole world he is so sexy and Im just so in love with him and he doesnt know it. We do tell each other that we love each other but its only as close friends. He does trust me enough that he is coming to america for the first time and stay with me so hes going to be sleeping in the same room as me for 3 or 4 weeks which is making me nervous. I just want to grow our relationship and get closer to him but im super nervous and cant tell him I love him romantically yet.

  • @sisi9948
    @sisi9948 2 года назад +60

    My sister told me once that I would be so pretty only if my mouth will not protrude so much. She says it sticks out too much. And I agree. It's dentofacial deformity. Only if I knew mewing back then huhuhuhuhu

    • @Woodsaras
      @Woodsaras 2 года назад

      Surgery

    • @Alpffine
      @Alpffine 2 года назад +4

      Braces+extraction fixes it in 2 years.

    • @onlygameplay134
      @onlygameplay134 2 года назад +3

      @@Alpffine With permanently ruining her face... -_-"

    • @Alpffine
      @Alpffine 2 года назад +7

      @@onlygameplay134 Trust your orthodontist, trust the science :D

    • @onlygameplay134
      @onlygameplay134 2 года назад +2

      @@Alpffine I trust science. You trust your orthodontist...

  • @nectarshrub
    @nectarshrub 2 года назад +18

    I grew up with acne, bad teeth, and excess weight. They didn't begin to resolve until I was 15 or so, and the damage from the social problems is definitely permanent. Even when I'm super thin I will always feel like I need to be smaller, and the tiniest blemish on my face will make me feel hideous. It is really scarring and traumatic getting made fun of not only by your peers but also your parents for the way you look.

  • @PossiblyAzrael
    @PossiblyAzrael 2 года назад +18

    Not being allowed to have hair growing up really messed me up. Now I’ll basically never cut my hair even if I look better now.

    • @BitchChill
      @BitchChill 2 года назад +8

      I love having my hair long. Though my family still tries to countrol. If you're black, you know how it is. Short fades only

    • @Mary-dk7mc
      @Mary-dk7mc 2 года назад

      Wow, so interesting. Please explain how it messed you up and your experience.

    • @PossiblyAzrael
      @PossiblyAzrael 2 года назад +4

      @@Mary-dk7mc I will first say that these issues arent as major now that im older but for the last decade and a half of my 21 years of life:
      Identity crisis.
      -lack of choice/autonomy
      -stereotypes in the early 2000s when it comes to being a black male/child with hair
      -Struggling to express myself and being made to blend in; futile struggle.
      Being a child without any say in how you look. Being teased for said result appearance. Truth be told the opinions of others didnt matter; the real tragedy was that i extremely agreed with the sentiment. Subconscious things, being told I couldnt have long hair due to my background and so on. And even as I gained more freedom learning about to manage my hair on my own was much trial and error.
      Also constantly being misunderstood due to my voice not sounding ghetto and the like (all of these things work in my favor now but in the past I was made a target for it)
      If you want something a little more serious--
      Hair became a free/ attainable life achievement for me, and Ironically ive never had very long hair.
      Ive tried many times but the most recent time I gave it away to join the military (it might seem small to others but i spent my whole life desiring that)
      I got out early and I havent had a haircut since. I doubt Ill ever sit in a barber's chair again. Although ive learned to take care of my own hair. My current pfp is my current, successful attempt.
      Ive studied addiction and perhaps I may share key traits when it comes to a feedback loop. My self image completely alters depending on the length of my hair; this is why In my current attempt ive chosen dreadlocks as its probably the most efficient way.
      I could say much more given all the things I did for and didnt do because of not having hair. i,e, refusing to go outside and participating in anything when I didnt have any.
      It would seem I might be traumatized from my childhood experiences of not having hair.
      also this might also sound morbid but Hair was for a very long time, my will to live. It was something that was almost a guarantee so i became attached to it in my late middle school- high school years. and given that I made the choice to let it go and join the military sort of speaks for my expectations in the military (very miserable)
      Children have voices too- I became a rebellious thief that didnt care for consequences despite being a straight A student. "Forget being right, forget being wrong. It wont matter if you dont live long" -mindset I would take on when I found myself feeling incompetent due to not being able to achieve the one free guranteed thing I could have as a human. Having it stripped away from me. If I didnt have control over my identity - why fight to maintain it?

  • @ChandraQP
    @ChandraQP 2 года назад +56

    I remember detesting all the hyperactive and rude little boys in kindergarten. I always thought they were ugly because of their personalities, and in hindsight only about half of them would have been considered unattractive anyway. I decided I liked the one boy who wasn't constantly showing his boogers and pulling down his pants, because he just wasn't a jerk to me at nap time. Once before recess he asked me to be his "queen" since he liked to play knights, and having achieved that I forget about having a crush 😂

  • @binary964
    @binary964 2 года назад +12

    this hits straight at home :( my orthodontist save my life

  • @yin9647
    @yin9647 2 года назад +3

    I was always a cute kid, but my self confidence and looks took a huge hit throughout middleschool. It was braces, working out seriously, obviously just growing up, and realizing the clothes and hair and makeup that made me feel and look good which really fixed my expectations for myself and self confidence.

  • @youheartmel
    @youheartmel 2 года назад +9

    The most common surgery on children I read (or something to that effect) is Otoplasty or “ear pinning surgery”.

  • @marwaderfoufi5059
    @marwaderfoufi5059 2 года назад +88

    I was pretty as a child, after growing up i became unattractive, it was quite traumatic for me.

    • @lorenzoreynolds2512
      @lorenzoreynolds2512 2 года назад

      True

    • @akiraasmr3002
      @akiraasmr3002 2 года назад +8

      I was cute as a child then ugly as a teen since I let myself go and got chubby now that im an adult im back to being kind of attractive since I lost all my weight and exercise. Ive even noticed my friends are different they were all ugly and kind of losers like me when I was a teen and now all my friends are super attractive and models and they keep telling me im cute and I have beautiful eyes and hands and stuff which kind of sucks because im super in love with my boy best friend.

    • @steggyweggy
      @steggyweggy 2 года назад +1

      @@akiraasmr3002 Tell him you like him and see what happens.

    • @sarahfranco6802
      @sarahfranco6802 2 года назад

      @@akiraasmr3002 "which kind of sucks because im super in love with my boy best friend." Why does it sucks?

    • @akiraasmr3002
      @akiraasmr3002 2 года назад +1

      @@sarahfranco6802 Well because im a boy and he doesnt know I love him lol even though I make it kind of obvious with sending him gifts all the time and always telling him how amazing he is Im really scared to tell him how I really feel.

  • @hetastic_bro
    @hetastic_bro 2 года назад +9

    I loved the movie ‘Wonder’. Such a beautiful film 💛

  • @nasreenh7888
    @nasreenh7888 2 года назад +33

    Can you do a video explaining the dominant fascination of 'blonde hair and blue eyes?'

    • @basmataoussi2450
      @basmataoussi2450 Год назад

      I think it's a regional thing. I live in Germany and my family is maroccan. I feel like curly hair and tan skin is seen a as pretty here meanwhile it's the opposite in marocco where it's more common.

  • @aleksiniko
    @aleksiniko 2 года назад +85

    tips how to improve facial attractiveness
    1. mew
    2. do not mouth breath unless being in a stressful situation like running
    3. Wash teeth, have a shower and sleep well
    4. Drink water
    5. If one has high bodyfat, must the one lose weight and that's how facial bones will come more recognizable
    6. chew gum or chew hard food and chew it multiple times before swallowing it

    • @janaekelis
      @janaekelis 2 года назад +32

      about the 5th tip, i noticed some people look attractive with body fat, but that depends HIGHLY on fat distribution and the features you already have

    • @thegodofthegods1084
      @thegodofthegods1084 2 года назад +5

      @@janaekelis i swear to go when some of these guys lose weight they look like models

    • @jaedii7287
      @jaedii7287 2 года назад +2

      @@janaekelis Girls for sure but I've never seen that on guys

    • @loth4015
      @loth4015 2 года назад +11

      7. Get surgery

    • @ediblecrayons2382
      @ediblecrayons2382 2 года назад +8

      The gum one i wouldnt advise, if done too much it can make one side of your face stronger, resulting in facial asymmetry

  • @reilley4268
    @reilley4268 2 года назад +6

    I’m always so conflicted bc I could see myself doing a lot better with a few minor cosmetic adjustments, but if I had kids I would feel so bad if they inherited those traits and then learned I changed them, like what kind of message would that send them 😢 I’m fine with how I look and I have no problem with my features, i like looking at pictures of my ancestors and trying to figure out where I got different features from (even tho my grandma got a nose job lmao). I just understand how other people might perceive me and even the difference in how I’m treated when I wear makeup vs when I don’t, and I see how I could benefit from a few tweaks. But the hypothetical children 😩😩😩😩

    • @m0ri461
      @m0ri461 2 года назад +2

      In the end, its your life, do what you want. If you are concerned for your children, simply explain to them that there is nothing wrong with their face and they are perfect how they are. However, when they get older they will be allowed to choose what they do with their body. If thats what they want to do, let them know youll support them. But always reassure them theyre beautiful no matter what.
      Basically let them know what you did isnt shameful, but neither is the natural look from your genes. Its all preference.
      Hope this stranger helped your dillemma with your hypothetical children. 😂

  • @seif9923
    @seif9923 2 года назад +48

    I was fat as a kid till 17i was bullied really bad because of it I developed really bad body dismorphia and I still have it even tho I lost 27kg and I look decent now ( even been hit on by some girls )
    The damage is done tho I will always have body dismorphia and I will always think I am not fit or attractive
    So yeah it does affect kids I think

    • @marieppe4609
      @marieppe4609 2 года назад +9

      Yeah, it does. Growing up, my sister was darker than me. Now, since she does skincare and take care of herself, she's lighter than me but still views herself as 'dark' it's like engraved in your mind that you'd alwaye be 'this' or 'that' so you try to improve yourself but you won't be content. You'll feel like you're still the 'ugly duckling' you were from before even though you've broken out of that shell already. Only physically :/ the memories and words will always stay, no matter what. Moving forward, it'll always be there. Well, that's at least my experience with ift.

    • @arian6565
      @arian6565 2 года назад

      I was bullied cause I was skinny

    • @hotto5150
      @hotto5150 2 года назад +3

      @@marieppe4609 My pet theory is that it's the same thing or the same part of the brain that makes veterans have ptsd and flashbacks. Being unattractive is more likely to make you socially outcasted, bullied, treated badly so your brain panics and registers it as a threat and even though it no longer applies to you, your brain hasn't gotten over it.

    • @smallypuppy22
      @smallypuppy22 2 года назад +1

      I have bdd as well. I literally don't know what my body looks like. I spent around 3 to 4 hours everyday looking at myself in the mirrow and I always end up feeling stomack sick after it. And yes the parts of my body that I hate the most are those others made fun of when I was a kid/teenager

    • @seif9923
      @seif9923 2 года назад +2

      @@smallypuppy22 yes, I would do that on a daily basis, it got less now tho only happens when something triggers my bdd
      And it's a really shitty feeling

  • @luckygirl1able
    @luckygirl1able 2 года назад

    Such an interesting video… I was bullied for looks in elementary/middle school and it really took a toll on me. Basically became a recluse through high school because I was just so insecure. I guess I’m better now, I’ve had attractive men compliment me, and I’m treated much better, but it’s crazy how events at 10-13 can still have me so insecure at 23.

  • @Lilas.Duveteux
    @Lilas.Duveteux 2 года назад +6

    I look rather average, with intense dark circles. Maybe because I live in Canada and I am autistic, but I am happy with my looks. I have both buck and crooked teeth, which give me slight insecurity, but other than that, I like it that way. Sometimes, I forget to shave before going to the pool. Living in a cold place makes it less of an issue, since I'm covered from head to toe most of the time anyways. Oddly enough, the only part of my looks I consider important is my long hair and I was more coquettish at five years old than now as a young adult.

  • @extravale
    @extravale 2 года назад +2

    this is such an important topic. bravo!

  • @historymaven
    @historymaven 2 года назад +6

    Parents don’t need help identifying any malformations their child might have, they need help paying for it.

  • @Prince-qr1te
    @Prince-qr1te 2 года назад +6

    Could you do a video on hollow cheeks, why this aesthetic is considered attractive and how to achieve it?

    • @lifespanwellnessbeauty-60i64
      @lifespanwellnessbeauty-60i64 2 года назад

      Lose weight and/or learn how to apply facial contour makeup. You could also have buccal fat removal surgery if you are really desperate for that look.

  • @Giustig-k6s
    @Giustig-k6s 2 года назад +9

    As someone who reached puberty stages earlier than my colleagues and had mandibular prognathism until majority age, i feel all these problems that your personal appearance perception can cause to someone. Growing up as an introvert, quiet and melancholic kid just obliterate most of your social development, shape your personality and cause other psychological problems that will always try to sabotage your path to succeed trough life.
    The feeling after growing up, surgery and start to at least have the appearance of a normal human being improve things though

  • @pinacolada1393
    @pinacolada1393 2 года назад +3

    Nutrition, Allergies, Lifestyle, Genetics

  • @shrimp3480
    @shrimp3480 2 года назад +2

    I honestly wish I could fix my teeth. They’re not “bad” but if I were to get braces, I would be more confident. I’m not ugly but being able to have straight teeth (which is my biggest insecurity) would really, in my opinion, boost my confidence.

  • @letsgomarkhyuckil3718
    @letsgomarkhyuckil3718 2 года назад +6

    the childhood bullying victim to cripplingly insecure semi-attractive BDD sufferer pipeline

  • @stefdiazdiaz7067
    @stefdiazdiaz7067 2 года назад +19

    I was considered one of the most good looking kids, but then I moved to a new school and my social life became very shitty, and yes it affects you psychologically.

    • @itotallyagreewithyou6586
      @itotallyagreewithyou6586 2 года назад +2

      Did your physical appearance when you moved?

    • @stefdiazdiaz7067
      @stefdiazdiaz7067 2 года назад +6

      @@itotallyagreewithyou6586 No, I became even better looking, I just made friends with the wrong people and developed social anxiety. It feels weird to be considered smart and good looking but being lonely and a "loser"/social outcast.
      In the wrong context being good looking can be bad, as in women who get raped or someone attack you because of envy of your looks, etc.
      You also need understanding of power/social dynamics to take advantage of your good looks.

  • @dyanasbdoriginalchannel1492
    @dyanasbdoriginalchannel1492 2 года назад +8

    I was bullied for my speech implement

  • @theoriesandscience468
    @theoriesandscience468 2 года назад +28

    Just don't have kids

  • @lerekothamae606
    @lerekothamae606 Год назад

    In primary school i was really hated and i was excluded from like playing tag and other staff, i remember one day there was this girl like i was walking infront of, i don't know what i did, she just hit me for no reason fast foward my first year in high school i don't know if i had a glow up or what but people started complimenting me on my looks then i had braces, the dentist extracted and retracted my teeth and everything went south, my looks and confidence my chin went back, my lips used to be big and full not anymore, I started losing friends and people started treating me badly, from being complimented about my looks and called handsome to being alone and isolated and scared to go out in public and getting called ugly its really depressing

  • @jacekciesiokiewicz7582
    @jacekciesiokiewicz7582 2 года назад +3

    Great video! 🙂

  • @TheEarthRealm
    @TheEarthRealm 2 года назад +3

    10:52 - If we're taking the ratings from children into consideration, then we have to blame Disney movies and TV shows for their perceptions of personality/character being positively or negatively influenced by their appearance. 💁🏿‍♂️

  • @joshuabeck2956
    @joshuabeck2956 2 года назад +10

    Hey QOVES great video as always! This is really interesting

  • @SiggEye
    @SiggEye 2 года назад +25

    Does the narrowness/wideness of the arch of your teeth influence your looks from an outside perspective when your mouth is shut?

    • @onlygameplay134
      @onlygameplay134 2 года назад +7

      Absolutely. Teeth and Maxilla wideness are one of the main elements of attractiveness. Also in lots of cases the cause of certain facial deformities.

    • @theItalianshamrock
      @theItalianshamrock 2 года назад +9

      I think he has a video on how older/natural diets as a baby/kid impacts your teeth and jaw/face shape. He compared natives who ate meat and unprocessed food with people who ate soft food like baby food. The ones who ate baby food needed braces and had weak looking jaws. Go watch the vid lol its hard to explain

    • @BigV24
      @BigV24 2 года назад

      @@theItalianshamrock yep. Hard foods helped dental facial development.

  • @maj3732
    @maj3732 2 года назад +5

    I was bullied as a kid for my huge monkey ears and looking like a rat. Now I cannot find a boyfriend because I’m still ugly af :(

  • @smallypuppy22
    @smallypuppy22 2 года назад +1

    It impacts your entire life. I have bdd now

  • @SharkFishSF
    @SharkFishSF 2 года назад +3

    Nutrition of parents before and during pregnancy is as important as the child growing up. It's pointless correcting the child's postures when you could have avoided it all together by having good nutrition and eating habits.

    • @nicholeb5987
      @nicholeb5987 2 года назад +3

      I agree but sadly the medical complex lies about which foods are healthiest to eat

  • @ultimateloser3411
    @ultimateloser3411 2 года назад

    Not just children but adults too

  • @monsterdark5329
    @monsterdark5329 2 года назад +1

    I have allergy mouth breathing for years but my jaw are okey, atleast for now

  • @doomsday7308
    @doomsday7308 2 года назад +4

    I know its a natural behavior but each one of us can be the change by treating people the same regardless of facial aesthetics

  • @__-wc5zn
    @__-wc5zn 2 года назад +6

    You should make a video about mask fishing

    • @QOVESStudio
      @QOVESStudio  2 года назад +5

      Its on our deep dive podcast, expect to see it free on spotify very soon!

  • @GalacticTater
    @GalacticTater 2 года назад +5

    I was obese as a kid and I can attest to the fact that even though it may not have been my face, I was definitely treated badly and differently directly in correlation to my weight. Once I lost weight, that all stopped.

  • @fmls8266
    @fmls8266 2 года назад +25

    Being attractive isn't always pleasant either, especially when you are not very masculine.
    I had lot of hate for being considered a pretty boy by girls, ranging from being avoided as a friend by other boys, to badmouth, to getting insulted or bullied, to even harassed and punched.
    At the same time, being short, I got hate for the opposite reason ahah
    The kids who have less trouble for their looks are generally those who doesn't stand out at all, the super average ones.

    • @sarahfranco6802
      @sarahfranco6802 2 года назад +3

      "Pretty boys" tend to be loved by girls and hated by boys. The biggest example I could think about is Justin Bieber.

  • @elysemcclure148
    @elysemcclure148 2 года назад

    Does anyone know what kind of work the girl in the thumbnail may have had? My gums show quite a bit… but I didn’t think anything about it could be done

  • @Gassen904
    @Gassen904 8 месяцев назад +1

    5:55 how?

    • @Gassen904
      @Gassen904 8 месяцев назад

      Anyone know how she got less gum?

  • @janindunimsara178
    @janindunimsara178 2 года назад +1

    hey, i am 14 years old. please tell me is it too late to treat my short face?

  • @eliethia_munay
    @eliethia_munay 2 года назад +1

    Very informative video!

  • @ThePresentation010
    @ThePresentation010 2 года назад +6

    Face you in here?

  • @shamikamoses6326
    @shamikamoses6326 2 года назад +23

    Can you talk about the black best friend trope especially in childhood I had a lot of friends but I notice in films they would get black people to play the main characters best friend o r they were gay

    • @BitchChill
      @BitchChill 2 года назад +30

      How is would it be related to facial aesthetics?

    • @nickkerr6068
      @nickkerr6068 2 года назад

      @@BitchChill lmao

    • @shamikamoses6326
      @shamikamoses6326 2 года назад +7

      You mean how does being black link in with your looks? Wtf

    • @RANDOM-pf1ve
      @RANDOM-pf1ve 2 года назад +8

      How is a certain trope related to facial structure?

    • @shamikamoses6326
      @shamikamoses6326 2 года назад

      Well the way you look obviously affects the way people perceives you and treats you your race is part of your looks obviously different races have similar facial features and experiences

  • @pepitopastafrola9083
    @pepitopastafrola9083 2 года назад +2

    Can you do a video analyzing kurt cobain face please?

  • @princeyadav9697
    @princeyadav9697 2 года назад +1

    Please one video on zayn Malik ❤️🙏❤️

  • @dollmallow6664
    @dollmallow6664 2 года назад +1

    Been ugly my whole life. Bullied, hidden, invisible. With an overbite, excess face fat, and acne, I somehow have a bf that actually loves me.

  • @thegodofthegods1084
    @thegodofthegods1084 2 года назад +1

    I had some dental problems when I was a kid since the age of 10 and my parents only started to get me braces and stuff at 17 (now), you think I’ll turn out fine?

  • @EriGab99
    @EriGab99 2 года назад +26

    Just don't feed your kids with a vegan diet, processed foods, soy, seed oils, sugar or drugs.

    • @jacobellis5822
      @jacobellis5822 2 года назад +9

      A vegan diet, like any diet, just needs to be properly planned and executed

    • @mordecai3366
      @mordecai3366 2 года назад +22

      @@tiagomoraes1510 you dont grow as tall on a vegan diet

    • @katitadeb
      @katitadeb 2 года назад +25

      @@tiagomoraes1510 meat requires more chewing and that leads to a more developed jaw

    • @labornurse
      @labornurse 2 года назад +8

      @@katitadeb you've never ate celery then.

    • @onlygameplay134
      @onlygameplay134 2 года назад

      @@TylerTong You recommending creatin for a growing child? WTF... And why? Makes no sense... It has no effect on growing... XDXDXD

  • @chacha-dh1gj
    @chacha-dh1gj 2 года назад +1

    6:00

  • @sarahfranco6802
    @sarahfranco6802 2 года назад

    12:00

  • @starwarsfamilyguy0
    @starwarsfamilyguy0 2 года назад +1

    9:17

  • @HillbillyYEEHAA
    @HillbillyYEEHAA 2 года назад +5

    In France, they like gummy smiles. It's fascinating how different cultures view diffrent things as beautiful or not beautiful

    • @justinenglish_5750
      @justinenglish_5750 2 года назад +8

      Mmmh no, seeing a bit of gums those around your teeth is considered a normal smile but seeing a lot of gums is not

    • @scp-se3er
      @scp-se3er 2 года назад

      @@justinenglish_5750 On point

  • @shamikamoses6326
    @shamikamoses6326 2 года назад +12

    I can tell that a lot of the people that come to this channel come from a certain sub group

  • @valeriafofa4636
    @valeriafofa4636 2 года назад

    Si

  • @ken_eszu
    @ken_eszu 2 года назад +4

    ♥️♥️

  • @veronicachic
    @veronicachic 2 года назад +1

    How to be born with good facial growth: eat meat, organs, sunlight, vitamin K2, breastfeeding and cheeses

  • @mavisdom-animeonpiano
    @mavisdom-animeonpiano 2 года назад +7

    No one is ugly, just misinformed

    • @AjaniGrim
      @AjaniGrim 2 года назад +88

      Some people are ugly don't get it twisted...
      Yes it one thing to say don't be rude to people just cause of their looks...
      But we can't say every one or every thing Is beautiful.

    • @BitchChill
      @BitchChill 2 года назад +13

      @@AjaniGrim I mean look at Donald Trump

    • @tt8250
      @tt8250 2 года назад

      The truth will set us free I hope humanity can do something about it

    • @RANDOM-pf1ve
      @RANDOM-pf1ve 2 года назад +4

      Just poor

    • @hotto5150
      @hotto5150 2 года назад +2

      @@AjaniGrim unless you have a genetic disorder, facial deformities happen due to behavioral conditioning that deteriates your natural facial growth pattern. i think that was what they were trying to say anyway.