Chris Distefano's TRAUMATIC Night Out | 2 Bears, 1 Cave Highlight

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  • Опубликовано: 7 сен 2024
  • Highlight From Episode 178: • Chrissy New Glasses w/...
    Chris Distefano shares his most insane story yet, that ended with an attempted suicide and shocking reveal at a party.
    ymhstudios.com/
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Комментарии • 657

  • @calebfernandez7782
    @calebfernandez7782 Год назад +1887

    I'm so glad Bert was not around to hear this story because he would have interrupted it immediately and ruined it all 😂

    • @capncrunch6422
      @capncrunch6422 Год назад +77

      I was thinking the same thing. He definitely would have tried to make it about him lol

    • @kurt9034
      @kurt9034 Год назад +33

      I read this comment at the beginning and now at the end you are so right. He would have killed that story soooo fast

    • @wingersdingers
      @wingersdingers Год назад +9

      Because the word LIkE 40 million times doesn't ruin it already.....

    • @idontknow2stoned
      @idontknow2stoned Год назад

      It's a lie anyways.

    • @Peppavicious
      @Peppavicious Год назад +3

      I came to the comments looking for this comment lol

  • @nickdicrescenzo770
    @nickdicrescenzo770 Год назад +784

    This is one of the most wild stories I've ever heard.

    • @TheReturnOfBloodyJack
      @TheReturnOfBloodyJack Год назад +27

      yeah it’s almost… unbelievable

    • @CherrrrBear
      @CherrrrBear Год назад +2

      @@TheReturnOfBloodyJack 😂 riiight

    • @Lgo559
      @Lgo559 Год назад +4

      Definitely one of the tallest tales😂

    • @RANINGHAVOC
      @RANINGHAVOC Год назад +5

      @@TheReturnOfBloodyJack You know how comedy works right? 99% of comics stories are highly embellished if not completely made up. Everyone feels like they discovered gold when they point out the stories aren't 100% real

    • @stevc1122
      @stevc1122 Год назад +4

      Yeah but when comics are on stage telling an obviously embellished or made up story for the purposes of entertaining a crowd it's different. This is a one on one podcast where it's assumed the stories would not be made up and its a lot more personal. That's why when he goes into his stage material telling a story like that in this setting it seems a lot more like a guy just lying his ass off and making up a story.

  • @codytaylor7861
    @codytaylor7861 Год назад +226

    Chris is a real one for warning that guy about the AIDs tbh.

    • @Furio666
      @Furio666 Год назад +6

      Ikr it was the first thing on his mind🤣

  • @everything...interesting
    @everything...interesting Год назад +535

    The truth: Chrissy just told this story to try and convince his cousin Mark that he's not gay

    • @mackieincsouthsea
      @mackieincsouthsea Год назад +18

      "100%, not even kidding, all facts. It happened" 😅

    • @steph7960
      @steph7960 Год назад

      And incase the story got out. Said it himself u have to throw an atom bomb in to cover the truth lol.

    • @MrVovansim
      @MrVovansim Год назад +12

      That was some killer ranch all over his lips though.

    • @thedouglaspodcast
      @thedouglaspodcast Год назад +3

      @@mackieincsouthsea 1:44 when Bobby Lee says that literally every single story he tells on podcasts is a 100% complete lie (to save his ass 💀) ..and now comics need to preface stories with that 🤣🤣💀 I cannot. People probably hear any of these stories now and they think.. _hmmm 🤔 how much of this is utter BS?_

    • @mackieincsouthsea
      @mackieincsouthsea Год назад +3

      @@thedouglaspodcast Ikr, Bobby says some wildddd bullshit. As much as he's helped create some funny moments, I've always felt he was kinda creepy

  • @johnfuller183
    @johnfuller183 Год назад +580

    Chris is seriously one of the greatest story tellers I've ever heard

    • @idontknow2stoned
      @idontknow2stoned Год назад

      Lmfaooooo!!!!!! Hes trash and bombs on everything he does.

    • @ludmillagutomo
      @ludmillagutomo Год назад +7

      yes! i still laugh every time i watch his 9/11 story 🤣🤣🤣

    • @jacobbrown3242
      @jacobbrown3242 Год назад +3

      its fake

    • @kevinlajoie2966
      @kevinlajoie2966 Год назад +1

      like, like, the worst, like, like, I can't even like, believe you like, said that, like..

    • @johnfuller183
      @johnfuller183 Год назад

      @@kevinlajoie2966 umm.. ok

  • @tychols
    @tychols Год назад +422

    I forgot this was a suey wuey story until “I bid you both, a farewell!” 100% I loose my bowels.

    • @xRip666x
      @xRip666x Год назад +16

      Yeah it was such a fucking great story and my fat ass was salivating over the ranch dip and warm pita, I forgot it was a suey wuey too x)

    • @ludmillagutomo
      @ludmillagutomo Год назад +3

      aaah..so that's how we spell suey wuey 😂😂😂

    • @jusbamathy1355
      @jusbamathy1355 Год назад +1

      @@ludmillagutomo I was thinking the same! 🤣🤣🤣

    • @TL2354
      @TL2354 Год назад +2

      Lose

    • @MyhorseInthegravy
      @MyhorseInthegravy Год назад

      Only Chrissy could call suicide suiee -wooey lmao

  • @elijahleeking5648
    @elijahleeking5648 Год назад +123

    I just love Tom. So good at facilitating the story. King of the, “yes and…”
    Not to mention, Chris is one of the best story tellers of all time.

  • @TonyC317
    @TonyC317 Год назад +74

    When Chris drops that bomb at 8:19.. I immediately got an ad and then my face looked exactly like Tom’s 💀

    • @KaninTuzi
      @KaninTuzi Год назад +3

      They must have placed the ad there on purpose

    • @matthewroreilly
      @matthewroreilly 7 месяцев назад +2

      That ad was kinda nice, gives you a good 10 seconds to process it lmao

    • @EvilProductions425
      @EvilProductions425 28 дней назад +1

      I literally got an ad for PreP when this happened😂

  • @ryansavoy469
    @ryansavoy469 Год назад +322

    wait does that mean berts gay? he loves his body and taking his shirt off. its starting to make sense now.

  • @JDHURF
    @JDHURF Год назад +114

    One of the wildest stories I've heard in a while and goddamn can Chris tell a gripping story, masterful story telling here!!

  • @DesertDweller1776
    @DesertDweller1776 Год назад +39

    13:38 anytime a comedian says “I swear this is a true story” I immediately think he’s making it up on the spot.

    • @TL2354
      @TL2354 Год назад +2

      I don’t

    • @supremebuffalo6322
      @supremebuffalo6322 Год назад +2

      Yea, I have the same thought. Chris says that a lot. But I'm pretty sure I've heard him tell this story identically a year or two ago. It would've changed slightly if it was made up. I'm open to the possibility its made up but I *think* its true

  • @andreanaylor4773
    @andreanaylor4773 6 месяцев назад +3

    Chris was born for literally this reason. To tell stories and be who he is. I have no words for how hilarious this man is 😂😂😂 unbelievable

  • @nighttrain1565
    @nighttrain1565 Год назад +24

    This was probably my favorite segment of two bears ever. The way he told this story had me enthralled at work, I was dying laughing and forgot where I even was

  • @-KYUSS-
    @-KYUSS- Год назад +12

    I have not laughed out loud to a story on a podcast in so long. The way it was told was gold.
    Thank you for sharing this Chris, I’m genuinely in tears 😂

  • @lukefarness4593
    @lukefarness4593 Год назад +38

    I love Tom but the response to the most insane story ever…”has your thumb ever slipped and accidentally followed someone?”

  • @adamgee7755
    @adamgee7755 Год назад +36

    Love this story. Heard the podcast today and had to see the video to go along with it. Was not disappointed. Made my gf cry laughing and she usually pretends to hate the stuff i'm into. Well done Chris, will see you in Aus soon. Tom, thanks for making the trip down, you were great!

    • @joeyjuiice
      @joeyjuiice Год назад

      Maybe your girl hates like just you.

  • @nachomansandyravage2346
    @nachomansandyravage2346 Год назад +6

    Listened to this story 3 times, still locks me in. Chrissy is one of the best story tellers

  • @deneilbaker
    @deneilbaker Год назад +3

    This was one of the most breathtaking stories I’ve ever heard. I was so tuned in the entire time. I’m so glad he was able to tell it without interruption.

  • @Hostile_Ink
    @Hostile_Ink Год назад +5

    Best ad break I've ever witnessed.

  • @maatnessmonster7603
    @maatnessmonster7603 Год назад +107

    I had to stop in the middle of my workout and damn near barf because the phrase "sooey wooey" had me laughing so hard.

  • @LongNeckLives
    @LongNeckLives Год назад +44

    I have a headache from laughing so hard after
    "Careful! He has AIDS!"

  • @johndreasher5300
    @johndreasher5300 Год назад +9

    Sounds like a Quinton Tarantino movie to me! Had me on the edge of my seat waiting to see what's going to happen next! Has to be the craziest story I've heard in a while!

    • @TL2354
      @TL2354 Год назад

      Does it?

  • @MrsEarthtoEmily
    @MrsEarthtoEmily Год назад +10

    After 13 minutes of unbelievable stuff... "This is where it gets unbelievable..."

  • @travisfox
    @travisfox Год назад +16

    As Chrissy said "I also gave you aids" - it cut to an ad... RUclips has finally achieved comedic timing.

  • @chrisdavis273
    @chrisdavis273 Год назад +38

    “Careful he’s got AIDS” lol

  • @bambus_ross
    @bambus_ross Год назад +6

    Chrissy StoryTells. He's so good at telling stories man. Also that is wilddd.

  • @johnbroe
    @johnbroe Год назад +10

    Sui-woowy had me dying. "Fuck I think I broke my legs." buried me six feet under.

  • @kalki-13
    @kalki-13 Год назад +2

    Yo, the timing of the Ad is insane. 🤯

  • @kermainejelly
    @kermainejelly Год назад +20

    This is easily the craziest story I've heard in my life so far

    • @EikottXD
      @EikottXD Год назад +1

      Haven't lived much life yet huh?

    • @EikottXD
      @EikottXD Год назад

      Never seen a school shooting on the news or read about a serial killer? This is easily the craziest story you've heard huh... Jews in gas chambers? Stop saying stupid things.

    • @kermainejelly
      @kermainejelly Год назад +2

      @@EikottXD I mean in recent years it is but like...I guess I haven't hahahaha

    • @braydenfury9272
      @braydenfury9272 Год назад +7

      ​@Eikott you really acting like this story is a common occurrence

    • @kermainejelly
      @kermainejelly Год назад +2

      @@braydenfury9272 RIGHT!

  • @Bowlos0428
    @Bowlos0428 Год назад +21

    This is one of the funniest story I’ve heard 😂

  • @alec6948
    @alec6948 Год назад +9

    Anybody else realize that Frank is actually Tim Dillon?

    • @joeo5484
      @joeo5484 2 месяца назад

      I figured one of them was Matteo Lane

  • @harrisongreenway2592
    @harrisongreenway2592 Год назад +1

    Medic in NYC, this is one of the best EMS stories I’ve ever heard.

  • @scottmanring4768
    @scottmanring4768 10 месяцев назад +1

    Omg this has to be my favorite episode

  • @Selmeister15
    @Selmeister15 Год назад +18

    I was drinking boba while listening to the podcast and when he mentioned he’s got aids i spat out a few pearls 😂😂

  • @speedrob
    @speedrob Год назад +15

    love to see the bodycam from the cops lol Chris panicking telling the EMTs the guy's got AIDS with the dude yelling in the background

    • @scambaitnaansense512
      @scambaitnaansense512 Год назад +1

      Good luck if it actually happened could be FOIA requested

    • @shilohwehrmacht2947
      @shilohwehrmacht2947 Год назад +1

      ​@@scambaitnaansense512 this was pre 2018 there might not have been cam footage

    • @lilguaro
      @lilguaro Год назад

      He told the guy whose balcony it was when he came out the the guy had AIDS not the EMTs

  • @seemeburn
    @seemeburn 7 месяцев назад

    I randomly came across this video and listen to the whole thing, and I have to say it was a quite captivating story!

  • @Moon-be6wp
    @Moon-be6wp Год назад +1

    This might be the craziest story I’ve ever heard on ymh
    This needs millions of views

  • @Blizrd
    @Blizrd Год назад +8

    Frank: “you know what Johnny, I am cheating on you, and guess what, I gave you aids”
    Ad: “hersheys cookies and cream is filled with everything”

  • @coopersmith8216
    @coopersmith8216 Год назад +7

    Thank the lord Bert wasn’t here to interrupt this wild story

  • @mikealwisdom5167
    @mikealwisdom5167 Год назад +15

    “That’s why you would always like fkn rub my leg on the road and shit. Just slowly massage my balls. I thought it was bcz we were boys and you said you were into like you know healing.”
    💀💀💀 I spit my fkn drink out I swear! 😂

    • @TL2354
      @TL2354 Год назад

      Why are you swearing?

  • @3005lives4you
    @3005lives4you Год назад +1

    This is better than "The Machine" story.

  • @dakotalowe1194
    @dakotalowe1194 Год назад +4

    8:19 "I also have you AIDS!" There's never been a more perfectly timed ad interruption! Damn that was like the cliff hanger ending to a great TV episode! 😂

  • @jlllx
    @jlllx Год назад +3

    WAYYY better than The Machine story.

  • @peterkovic2241
    @peterkovic2241 Год назад +1

    This is the best story I've heard Chris tell, and he's told some bangers. WILD night!

  • @CherrrrBear
    @CherrrrBear Год назад +2

    8:25 I’d stop eating too 😂😂😂 what the actual fuck toms reaction got me

  • @NecroBurt
    @NecroBurt Год назад +10

    Chrissy’s dad has the answer “make the sign of the cross!”

  • @R.m.laughin
    @R.m.laughin Год назад

    20/10 clip. Chris was INCREDIBLE and Tom was a great host. Please please PLEASE have Chris back on someday 🙏 Too funny

  • @rawsko0316
    @rawsko0316 Год назад +6

    We need Nadavs live reaction vid to this

  • @mysstories2533
    @mysstories2533 8 месяцев назад

    i came back to this multiple times this is the sixth time, and i love the the delivery and i am french.... this is how you should tell the story!!! all the time i was like how th'ats gonna end? lol

  • @carolinHR
    @carolinHR Год назад +1

    this might be the best story i’ve ever heard

  • @psytron939
    @psytron939 Год назад +6

    When Chrissy's Psychologist told him he should be a Comic, they were fucking dead on 😂 you cant NOT be one with stories like this, too muhc of a wild life to let it to to waste without telling the world theses crazy stories.

  • @BigWrangler
    @BigWrangler Год назад +2

    Gonna write my Suwey Wuwey letter tomorrow.

  • @FoxIslandRailroadCo
    @FoxIslandRailroadCo Год назад +9

    Chrissy is simply the best storyteller in the game

  • @josephedwarddowling5919
    @josephedwarddowling5919 10 месяцев назад

    Greatest story ever. The first cousin showing up is the best.

  • @OftenGreenLaflippadoos
    @OftenGreenLaflippadoos 8 месяцев назад

    Sooooooo I've actually seen a suey woowie similar to this. I watched a man climb on top of a Penske Truck (to get over the overpass safety railing) and jump off a beautiful double arched bridge in Oceanside , CA. He rag dolled when he hit the first side embankment and then landed on the south bound freeway side. I was with my dad full view going down the Southbound side of the freeway. My Dad and I ran across both freeway sides and were first to respond. He was long gone. 56 years old.

  • @tracihoeflick666
    @tracihoeflick666 Год назад +2

    This is a fantastic example of why i dont drink anymore......also, best god damn storyteller EVER

  • @mikeymainstreet569
    @mikeymainstreet569 2 дня назад

    Best story I've ever heard

  • @BonnChnd
    @BonnChnd Год назад +3

    Tom didn’t seem to enjoy this story as much as we did….I wonder why? I mean that was hilarious.

    • @phil_fr6732
      @phil_fr6732 Год назад

      That's because he smelled the bullshit

  • @d4mdcykey
    @d4mdcykey Год назад +2

    Tommy needs to come back down to NC and hangout; honestly this sounds like a regular weekend around here.

  • @CalebsCars
    @CalebsCars Год назад +1

    I love listening to his stories, and love Tom. Bert is hard to take

  • @marvinherrera3965
    @marvinherrera3965 Год назад +1

    That Pete rock and cl smooth album makes me so happy. Tom, have you ever had a Tupac album up there? Or maybe like an Arrested Development album? Happy of your music taste

  • @allrightspreserved4766
    @allrightspreserved4766 Год назад +1

    I watch this at least twice a week. It fills me with inexorable joy 😂

  • @CamperVanClark
    @CamperVanClark Год назад +1

    Hahaha! This is one of if not the most wild stories I've ever heard! Thank you. Incredible. I thought I had a wild life. I got stories but this one is wild!

  • @senecaclark5776
    @senecaclark5776 Год назад +4

    This story is hands down. The wildest shit I’ve ever heard.

  • @tonyfauci9963
    @tonyfauci9963 Год назад +1

    He did not have a compound fracture- and Chris gave it away when he said they were on vacation two weeks later

  • @kendigjl
    @kendigjl Год назад

    That was one of the greatest stories I've ever heard.

  • @toalladepapel
    @toalladepapel 4 месяца назад

    i've never seen the video only listened to the pod and this is fucking amazing

  • @leocordero2517
    @leocordero2517 Год назад +3

    Thank GOD Burnt wasn’t there to interrupt and try to top his story

  • @bryguy87
    @bryguy87 7 месяцев назад

    Chris has sooo many stories but this is by far my favorite one. (And I’m a babe fan)

  • @everything...interesting
    @everything...interesting Год назад +20

    Nadav: **always laughs**
    Chrissy: "...gay like nadav gay"
    Nadav: **doesn't laugh**

    • @thomasschweda5104
      @thomasschweda5104 Год назад

      Nadav wasn't there, he was in rehab, ya chooch.

    • @everything...interesting
      @everything...interesting Год назад +1

      @@thomasschweda5104 didn't ur mom ever teach u to never ruin a good story with the facts?

    • @boxie13
      @boxie13 Год назад

      @@thomasschweda5104 right rehab….

  • @emily4gov007
    @emily4gov007 Год назад

    “I’ve ranched it.”
    Oh, this phrase is about to get integrated into my daily life. Thank you.

  • @BigRokko5196
    @BigRokko5196 Год назад +1

    He said "Johnny, she said..." 😂😂 Tf

  • @IncomingGame23
    @IncomingGame23 Год назад +4

    I was ENRAPTURED by this story. What the FUCK

  • @bryanh9064
    @bryanh9064 Год назад

    Love the Pete Rock album in the background

  • @TheVerucAssault
    @TheVerucAssault Год назад +1

    My uncle fighting with his boyfriend was one of the most violent fights I have ever seen. Do not hang around gay men fighting. It never ends well.

  • @brooke6198
    @brooke6198 Год назад

    It is CRAZY that I got an ad at 8:19 😂who made that decision

  • @jackdoe552
    @jackdoe552 Год назад +1

    Distefano is a top tier guest.

  • @jackogood
    @jackogood Год назад

    decently big distefano fan here, i cannot believe ive never heard this before. This is absolutely insane

  • @The.deusexmachina
    @The.deusexmachina Год назад +1

    Pete Rock album in the back, nice

  • @albinorhino7779
    @albinorhino7779 Год назад +3

    Chris has way to many “I swear I’m not gay” moments.

  • @saulalta75
    @saulalta75 Год назад

    Yo, they should animate this story. Talk about an emotional roller coaster comedy!

  • @royvelazquez4275
    @royvelazquez4275 11 месяцев назад

    “Cus we were boys” 😂😂 the best!

  • @OneBentMonkey
    @OneBentMonkey Год назад +2

    Ya know, Chris, sweetie you could still be bi, no shame, no guilt. You don’t have to definitively, conclusively chose one of end points of the spectrum.

  • @Firewingg95
    @Firewingg95 Год назад +1

    There is nothing crazier than that straight up.

  • @jakecongleton7108
    @jakecongleton7108 Год назад +1

    This has to be one of the funniest stories I’ve ever heard

  • @1800-FAT-CHICKS
    @1800-FAT-CHICKS Год назад +1

    bro those glasses lol anyone know where I can cop a pair of those or ones similar

  • @dolphin7860
    @dolphin7860 3 месяца назад

    Chris is an extremely talented story teller

  • @RamseyArt
    @RamseyArt Год назад

    Greatest story I have ever heard!

  • @TheAgentmigs
    @TheAgentmigs Год назад +1

    Love the fact that Nadav isnt laughing over everybody and making it about himself.

  • @tamikajoseph6127
    @tamikajoseph6127 Год назад

    Chris has the best stories.

  • @crashfistfight
    @crashfistfight Год назад +1

    1:40
    Anytime someone says this before telling you a story they are about to tell you a fake story

  • @thebronbronshow
    @thebronbronshow Год назад +1

    Now that's a story

  • @NinjaNerosis
    @NinjaNerosis Год назад +4

    And to be fair, saying "don't touch him he has aids" is the only acceptable thing you could have said in that moment lol

  • @ImAshlynnCarter
    @ImAshlynnCarter Год назад

    Honestly, this is the literally conversation my MIL had w me about my weight 😔 “stop eating so much”… well we live in different states. I work 10-12 hours days, 4-6 days a week, I get home after 8 pm and eat my one meal, sometimes a maruchan ramen, or Kraft Mac and cheese. So no, I’m not eating all day like she, or y’all, think. I’m not eating enough… I’m busy taking care of orders all day with no help, energy , or desire to take care of myself. I’m just exhausted, stressed, and on steroids and anti depressants. I don’t expect accommodations. I just want to be allowed to exist without being ridiculed for existing… that’s it. I hate myself and my existence enough. I don’t need to hear it from everyone around me too.

  • @skid1988
    @skid1988 5 месяцев назад

    This has got to be the craziest story I’ve ever heard

  • @BenAoA
    @BenAoA Год назад

    One of THE funniest stories I’ve ever heard. Seriously almost popped a bollock from laughing so hard!!!!😅😅

  • @maddiemorales4265
    @maddiemorales4265 Год назад +1

    “I was in Tuscaloosa and ate some farmers ass” 😂

  • @livinglifehere
    @livinglifehere 10 месяцев назад

    De Stefano is a real person.. tks for being u

  • @zillozitto
    @zillozitto 9 месяцев назад

    ca someone name me the brand of the glasses that chris is wearing ?

  • @scottsouth68
    @scottsouth68 Год назад

    I call unexpected/accidental death "early release." "Sui Lui" I refer to as "Releasing oneself on your own recognizance." ;-)