If my father didn't pass 15 years ago, I would swear that Chris and I had the same father, one year my dad stole my bike 4 days before my birthday, spraypainted it and gave it back to me, he couldn't afford a gift so he just said my bike got stolen, and then pretended to have solved it by buying me a new bike.
Yo imagine what would happen if some criminal was trying to bury something else on the side of the NJ highway only to find a penguin 🐧. Man, people are weird we need to make a Nature's documentary about Humanity
“Feeding the penguin cheese” is one of the funniest things I’ve ever heard. Coincidentally, I’m going to start using that as a euphemism for everything.
@@terrydevlin3486 "Hey man I'm outta town next week can you feed my penguin?" "Sure where do you keep it's food?" "There's some provolone in the fridge."
I remember having a stroke being in the ICU in crippling pain alone at night and couldn’t sleep despite the drugs they were pumping me full of, and watching this was the only thing that made me laugh the whole time I was in there. Legit helped me get through it. Laughter is great medicine
No jokes, no set ups, no punchlines, just 100% hilarious dude. Best storyteller ever🤣🤣🤣 This guy HAS to get his own Netflix special.... WITH hia dad on stage👍🏼🤣
Chrissy and Tim Dillon restore that absolute love/hate relationship I have for Long Islanders. Just a seething hatred, but a real admiration for the carelessness they have for everyone but themselves.
@@avg.madman8227 Yes, burying a dead penguin off the New Jersey turnpike that your nut bag uncle was feeding cheese and trying to keep cool with a shitty AC is less fantastical than a Theo story lmaoo. I think the bigger difference is that Theo will very much just say some of the craziest shit you've ever heard and act like he was talking about grabbing the mail at the end of the driveway.
@@BrokenGodEnt Well penguins can be bought. It would probably die if you fed it cheese and kept it too hot. And I’d hide the body too, I’m sure it didn’t happen but still. Theo makes up impossible stories that aren’t even possible at all.
I've come back to this story so many times. I miss my dad. If he would've survived cancer, he and my mom might of gotten divorced. Lol. I love both of them.
Hearing stories like this makes me wish I grew up with my dad. I continue to hear stories of my old man that only can bring a smile to my face. Enjoy your loved ones while you have them around. Forget about what ever problems you have with them. None of it is worth not having the love from a son/daughter or a mother/father. Trust me
My dad did the same type of thing at a Lakers game at the Forum and a Dodgers Game in the 90s. I returned the favor years later at a couple of ProBowls in Hawaii. Family have such a strong position in the molding process. Love hearing stories like these.
The funniest part of this whole thing is that his therapist THERAPIST was like eh I can’t fix you but your problems are HILARIOUS! Please go tell them on a stage somewhere! Lol
Theo and Chris need to write a movie about two kids being best friends and all the childhood antics growing up to adulthood that would be a good comedy!!!
“Nothin’ Chinese is ever gonna take me down...”😂
True American :D
Lmao😂
RED WHITE N BLUE!
THE BEST LMAO
@@sweatnosweat yet we never were taken down
I wanna see Joey Diaz talk to Chris and his dad
duuuuuude!
Two guys repeatedly saying “i dont know nuttin”
Dude Joey Diaz IS Chrissy's dad
This is brilliant
I would pay good money for this interaction lmaoo
“You did good kid, the drool was a good touch” 😂 i almost pissed my pants
If my father didn't pass 15 years ago, I would swear that Chris and I had the same father, one year my dad stole my bike 4 days before my birthday, spraypainted it and gave it back to me, he couldn't afford a gift so he just said my bike got stolen, and then pretended to have solved it by buying me a new bike.
Tampa Tony would have stolen you a new bike!
That’s hilarious. The man was a problem solver for sure
Honestly, that's kinda heart warming.
Legend!!!!
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣this is fuckin great
The Hakuna Matata kills me every time
Bro EVERY time
Every fuckin time
Its so funny because his dad honestly meant it from a good place! But its so blunt insensitive & jarring. 🤣🤣😁
it's 1 in the morning and I'm in tears cackling like a donkey...
holy fuck dude, loosing my shit here
“My dad and Bobby pets buried the penguin off the side of the New Jersey turnpike” might be my favorite sentence of all time
Ironically...the penguin doesn't sleep with the fishes.
It sounds the beginning of a Stephen King novel
Out of context it's just like wtf hahaha
@@dubugga In context it’s still wtf lol
It seemed like the thing to do at the time.
Dude. When you’re burying a penguin on the NJ turnpike, things have gone terribly wrong 😂
Yo imagine what would happen if some criminal was trying to bury something else on the side of the NJ highway only to find a penguin 🐧. Man, people are weird we need to make a Nature's documentary about Humanity
@@zk9494 worse things have happened off the NJ Turnpike
My god lmao imagine historians from the future try to figure out how it got there 😂
I can't breathe from laughing so hard to "nothing Chinese is going to take me out"
*Comes back home late*
*mom is furious*
Dad: the kid has special needs
Perfect
"it wasn't voluntary, but some drool came out of my mouth." - Chrissy D.
Ahahahaha
😂😂😂
👏🏽 you’ve found his closing sentence for the bit!!
“Feeding the penguin cheese” is one of the funniest things I’ve ever heard. Coincidentally, I’m going to start using that as a euphemism for everything.
"Wanna go out tonight man?"
"Can't man, feedin' the penguin cheese."
"...the fuck does that even mean?"
Whoa take it easy now you're just feeding the penguin cheese
Yeah dude was fucked up last night, really fed the penguin cheese
Gonna be my next fantasy team name
@@terrydevlin3486 "Hey man I'm outta town next week can you feed my penguin?"
"Sure where do you keep it's food?"
"There's some provolone in the fridge."
Chrissy Dad Complex
Laughed the vape smoke out and got whooped
Chrissy Daddyissues
Ermuhgerd 💀 ☠
Christopher ManySaints
I remember having a stroke being in the ICU in crippling pain alone at night and couldn’t sleep despite the drugs they were pumping me full of, and watching this was the only thing that made me laugh the whole time I was in there. Legit helped me get through it. Laughter is great medicine
Damn bro
Hope you make a full recovery
I hope you are doing better dude
Glad to see you're okay. Hope you're doing well/better/ Laughter truly is the best medicine.
Damn bro I hope You recovered fully. And your right about laughter.
Dude. You just got me teary. I’m so happy you’re ok. ❤️🙏🏻
Scientists 100 years from now…
“ fucking penguins , in the middle of Brooklyn “
“Nothing Chinese will take me down red white and blue are in my veins” is the funniest quote ever 🤣
No jokes, no set ups, no punchlines, just 100% hilarious dude. Best storyteller ever🤣🤣🤣 This guy HAS to get his own Netflix special.... WITH hia dad on stage👍🏼🤣
He actually is releasing a Netflix special may 3rd if I’m not mistaken
I absolutely love it when I can hear the crew laughing in the background! 🤣
When he said to mr perfect “hey Perfect, kids got special needs” I spit out lemonade. Almost choked. Need more dad stories
Chrissy and Tim Dillon restore that absolute love/hate relationship I have for Long Islanders. Just a seething hatred, but a real admiration for the carelessness they have for everyone but themselves.
I need Chris to ask his dad how and why he lost God September 21st 1979 😂🤣
I don’t think we wanna know😂
If you’ve ever seen American history X, it’s probably the same way as Edward Norton stopped being a Neo Nazi.
Yes
@@GoldenBoar that’s so helpful
Shower situ
Wtf.. As he was talking, everything just got animated in my head like if it was a cartoon 😂
thats the mark of a good storyteller right there
Youre on acid
@@juantellez2633 nah lol
@@colinkeanful he can get who ever did Bill Burr's 👍
@@chosenArchitec that guy ended up in prison
1:59 Tom's laugh at the end of this anecdote is delightful
*Hakuna Mattata!*
This guy's after my heart. His Mountain Dew story is exactly what I normally do when I go out with the kids, down to "don't tell mom".
Wait whattttt! Is that an old story? I saw him live yesterday and he said he was trying new material and told the audience the Mountain Dew story 😭
Chris is just a Yankee Theo Von
This might be the most factual statement I've ever heard.
Yea but Theos stories have the fantastic elements where this seems more rooted in reality
@@avg.madman8227 Yes, burying a dead penguin off the New Jersey turnpike that your nut bag uncle was feeding cheese and trying to keep cool with a shitty AC is less fantastical than a Theo story lmaoo.
I think the bigger difference is that Theo will very much just say some of the craziest shit you've ever heard and act like he was talking about grabbing the mail at the end of the driveway.
He is WAY funnier than Theo tho :P
@@BrokenGodEnt Well penguins can be bought. It would probably die if you fed it cheese and kept it too hot. And I’d hide the body too, I’m sure it didn’t happen but still. Theo makes up impossible stories that aren’t even possible at all.
"Show ya bush!"
- Chrissy's dad, yelled at a ballet instructor during technical difficulties.
The laughs from the people in the background are priceless 🤣
Why doesn't Chris just finally interview his dad? It would literally be the biggest video he's ever done.
Because he is a comedian and these stories are likely highly exaggerated...
@@danroberts8078 chrissy white lies
Probably because his dad doesn't sound like the type to tell stories on a podcast.
@@danroberts8078 To be fair, you'd think that about Tom's dad stories too until you hear Tom's dad and then it's like oh wow he isn't lying lol
@@jonjetmore4018 Very true
I love these dad stories segments.
Takes the bus from Florida..."The Chinese' not gonna take me down! My veins are red, white & blue!" Best Dad Ever!! Lolz 🤣🤣🤣
My dad's the same way
I think he took a local bus. It sounded like it happened before he moved and they lived in the same city at the time.
Thats what the majority of american feels thats why america is no 1 country with the most infected
@@GREGGFOWL that's mostly because of the Leftists
@@cbreezy623 as a native New Yorker, it was definitely here in nyc, especially with the Mayor "Deblasio" reference , this was gold
Who is always laughing in the background ? That laugh is awesome lol 😂.
Blue ban aka nadav
Some Jewish guy.
"Hakuna matata" lmfao my ribs are hurting man
Least funny part
@@MrPhelep for you
I've come back to this story so many times.
I miss my dad. If he would've survived cancer, he and my mom might of gotten divorced. Lol. I love both of them.
There’s penguin skeleton remains on the side of the New Jersey turnpike😂 forreal
Then scientists will say it’s from 2 million years ago when there was an ice age ...
@@enrig94 bobby fucken pets was here
There’s probably more than one lol
Hearing stories like this makes me wish I grew up with my dad. I continue to hear stories of my old man that only can bring a smile to my face.
Enjoy your loved ones while you have them around. Forget about what ever problems you have with them. None of it is worth not having the love from a son/daughter or a mother/father. Trust me
Either his therapist and him were laughing during the sessions together or the therapist was laughing at home about his stories haha
God I love Italian people.
He’s German
literally german though
Try living with them...you wont feel the same
@@kye4216 germans don’t sound like that tho
@@lb7216 You people who actually believe 23 and me like it's Gospel are cringe.
Future paleontologists are gonna dig up that penguin one day like “wtfffffff is a penguin doing in Jersey???!! 🧐” 😂😂😂
“The imam started a prayer in Muslim”
"Imam Omar, or the sultan...i dunno a nice muslim guy"
I died
Yo, give the kid some credit, he’s walkin’ here!
@@srsucioguapodelsur8845 fuckin lol
Chris needs to do a podcast with his Dad
The guy in the back just losing it in the back had me 😂😂. I live for this
Chris is so sharp and aware, I often wonder what he would have become if he hadn't been so emotionally damaged.
Something tells me Bert and Chrissy’s dad would get along.
God bless that therapist. Fucking GOLD!!
every single story is hysterical, everything
I absolutely love Chris. His dad is gold
1:49 the howling laughter in the background lmao
Christine- "Ebony and Ivory?" adorable and hilarious.
Maybe the record for most words per second in any RUclips video ever.
If you’ve never met a NYer that’s how they all talk lol
Holy shits rare that I laugh out loud at a podcast but I was just in tears over this. Hilarious
seeing tom laugh this hard is so satisfying
My dad did the same type of thing at a Lakers game at the Forum and a Dodgers Game in the 90s. I returned the favor years later at a couple of ProBowls in Hawaii. Family have such a strong position in the molding process. Love hearing stories like these.
"I had an uncle who owned a penguin". Is something you cannot make up, lol.
That Hakuna Matata shit almost sent to the er bro I’m not even lying I thought broke my rib laughing
“Hakuna Matata!” YOOO IM CRYING
'he was doing a prayer in mozlem'
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Jesus the stories never end!
I'm dying over here 😂😂😂😭
Please someone animate this story
"red, white, and blue"
I can listen to this dude tell his dad stories all day that’s comedic gold Jerry gold Jerry
The last 10 seconds of this clip had the most jaw dropping moment…lol more please
it's 2 o'clock in the morning and I'm trying not to crack up completely in laughter I swear to God!!!😂😂😂😂
I like him, he is a naturally funny guy.
Watching tom laugh at the baseball story is awesome
😂 10:24, got me too!
Hakuna matata HAHAHAHA man im dying , i love his dad stories :p
Love this guy's father. 👍
The funniest part of this whole thing is that his therapist THERAPIST was like eh I can’t fix you but your problems are HILARIOUS! Please go tell them on a stage somewhere! Lol
Great way to fuck with archaeologists when they find penguin bones 2000yrs later in Jersey.
150 years from now someone will be digging up that penguin skeleton and saying “how in the hell did a penguin get here“
6:03 - Christina P: "Ebony and ivory...IMAM!" 😂🤣👍
Those Patriot veins !! 😂 tommy segway !
I love the ppl dying In the back of laughter
Tom loved this way more than he should ve
Just the thought that someone might one day dig up a penguin Skelton just of the New Jersey turn pike is hilarious
I could listen to you both talk about your father’s forever 😂 its nonstop hilarious
The stories Chris has about his Dad are hilarious!
His dad reminds me of some of the people I met at the intersections of Eastern Parkway Atlantic Avenue in Brooklyn back in the 70s
Chris episode stands out to me amongst all the guest. I laughed hard throughout the entire episode. Loved it
The people laughing in the background though 😂
WHEN THE IMAM STARTS TO SAY ITS PRAYER "IN MUSLIM" sounded like a great moment of that ceremony
I love his dad.
The drool was a good touch. 😆
Chrissy is WILD! Definitely not an FF
Bro it’s 4am and that shit had me fucking dying bro 😂
The content I didn’t know I needed
Oh man this is gold
Chris Distefano is a National treasure
"Hakuna Matata" gets me everytime !
"Yo! PERFECT!"
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
one of the best episodes! Chris D is so funny and then watching Tom laugh makes it even better
Absolutely brilliant❤
I truly enjoy Chrissy's story time
"hakuna matata" I'm Dead 🤣🤣🤣🤣
My dad and Bobby pets buried the penguin off the turnpike in Jersey 😂😂😂😂😂
No matter how many times I watch this it still gets me to f****** crack up every time 💯🎭🙋🏻♂️ from dirty jerz
what up from jersey!
I love the laughing in the background
Theo and Chris need to write a movie about two kids being best friends and all the childhood antics growing up to adulthood that would be a good comedy!!!
"The fu*king sultan" lmfao
What i got from this is that 1000 years from now archeologist are gonna think that there was a species of Penguin that lived near New Jersey
This was a wiiiiiiild clip
It just keeps getting better and better 🤣
"Hakuna Matata" i'm dying lmao