How To Make Small Talk Interesting And Fun
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- Опубликовано: 27 сен 2024
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This video will give you 4 go-to techniques for making small talk with anyone :-) goo.gl/KEbUrj
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What’s the goal of small talk? Think of small talk as a way to A.) learn about each other or learn what’s new with each other, B.) see if you connect on anything and want to form or strengthen a relationship, and C.) enjoy yourself.
This video will show you how to do that without asking a bunch of questions and making it feel like an interview, and avoid forced conversation or awkward silences.
0:56 What's the point of small talk?
1:37 How to combine a compliment & a cold read to replace a boring question with interesting, fun conversation
2:59 The kinds of questions that lead to excited conversation that flows naturally vs. the questions that lead to awkward silences
4:36 My favorite conversation game that is easy to work into conversation without it seeing weird, and makes small talk enjoyable for both people
5:44 How to guide the conversation towards things you're interested in, by eliciting their advice/opinion
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lol worth $500 dollars? i'll continue with the common google search for information or simply asking the people I know and don't know on the topics xD And not expecting to be $500 out of pocket out of 3 hours of genuine attempts of learning from others.
I want to work with you just so badly man. Let me in as your VA.
Not certain about the points made but ,if anyone else wants to learn about best books for getting over shyness try Wiltapar Simple Shyness Secrets (should be on google have a look ) ? Ive heard some super things about it and my cousin got excellent results with it.
Charisma on Command The where are you from question guessing game pisses me off. It stereotype based and in my opinion it can get rude if not careful. Talk about yourself and if they want, they will engage and talk about themselves.
Mias Vera yea you have a good point miss, in directly conversation that kinda guessing game can be misunderstood as assuming their origin based on stereotype. I never practice it in real life, but I did ever have this kinda game while talking to people online, I was initiative to make them guessing where am I come from, but I think I should consider about implementing it irl 🤔
that moment when you're so awkward you need to watch a tutorial on how to socialize
Bridget E. I’m worse. I’m awkward and also have a stutter. Pls pray for me 😂
lol me too mate
do u wanna to be my friend? :v
Cole Parker ..... you and I both lmao and I have a phone interview in like 13 minutes. Yayyyyy lol!
There's nothing wrong with that some people just aren't born with the ability to socialise well don't worry about it at least you're trying to improve
"oh my god you're so funny are you a comedian"
i can't say that without coming of as sarcastic
Bin al-Flecki, that’s not just you
Same ppl think I’m sarcastic even if I’m not 😂
IKR
😂😂
I tried saying this line soooo many times and it always comes out weird
1. Compliment + Cold Read
2. Open-ended Questions
3. Turn it Into a Game ("Hang on, let me guess")
4. Elicit their Advice or Opinion
jeffersfilms you just saved me 9 minutes
What is an open ended question?
Anything that isn't answered with yes/no
Quantum Leap Funnily enough, you just asked one. A question that takes more to answer than just a standard "yes", "no" "I think", etc. A question that can be answered with either a fact, opinion, or guess.
Kyle Harmieson I think you nearly cought on to my subtle humor.
5. Realise that is't not only your responsibility to keep the conversation going. The other one has to put some effort in it too. So if a conversation turns out into an akward silence, it's not only your fault, but also his/hers. Don't blame yourself too much if it doesn't work out every now and then.
Thanks
😊
You can get ANY PERSON to talk if ur social enough
Not His/Hers, They/them
@@the_kleetus-yeeyee48 "theirs" will be either a "his" or a "hers".
very occasionally there might be a "him" or "her" that has a physiological deformity, but exceptions do not create the rule, they prove the rule.
@@Ghryst bro came back 4 years later to correct someone 💀
I hate when people ask what I do for fun. I have to tell them I watch youtube videos.
Pretty obvious solution. Get a hobby
Pik Osyris sounds boring
rbg 1827 then... go find yourself a sport or start drawing or get yourself a pet or start a diary or try at photography
Someone once asked me what my passion was. Told them I couldn't think of anything and they proceeded to talk about their love of photography. That's my experience of smalltalk, it's a gateway for people to talk about themselves.
I tell ppl my hobby is watching youtube videos and constantly learning things. Like dafuq good for you Judy who likes to paint, I watch psychology and social based videos out of curiosity.
All these comments are really funny
Wish we could be like this irl...
Ikr
mood
i thought you would say we should all be comedians
I had to pause the video because the comment are so funny...I’m just scrolling through dying of laughter.
I wish 😭
This is what helped me:
The main solution to conversate without it being awkward is not over analyzing so much. Stop focusing on small things like “how to talk to people” and stuff and you will naturally become more good at speaking to other people because the reason we are so awkward is, our head goes blank and you end not knowing what to say, if we do have something to say we overthink that its not a good question or response so we sit their silent or we have serious social anxiety that makes us think everything we say or do is wrong and every one is judging us. We over analyze people so much but if you really help yourself realize these are just humans they are not superior for you to get nervous to just talk to them the conversation will literally flow as if you were talking to a close friend. I remember watching this video a long while ago and I was binge watching videos on how to act in public and all and non of the advice stuck in my head when it was time to talk or something I literally forgot what to do and how to act and than I realized if I just stop over analyzing everything, everything wouldn’t be so fu**ing hard! YOU GUYS DONT NEED HELP TALKING TO PEOPLE YOH NEED HELP BEING MORE CONFIDENT🤎
I've to thank you for this, felt like a huge burden just lifted off from my shoulders.
I can't agree more with you.
effing true
Woah that is a lot of words.
Thanks so much!
Facts!
Her: you’re so funny, like my brother!
Me: so why do you have a Brother??
Try - Thank you for the compliment. Would you like to hear a joke? or Would you like to (insert activity here - go for walk/coffee) so I can make you laugh even more? or, tell me about your brother. This allows her to mention things that you might share with her brother - which allows her to get to know you a little more and you might find that some of those things are qualities or interests she shares as well. Like, well he likes to create his own funny lyrics to songs... and she might say we do that together (tells you something about her). Asking about someone in her world, that she brought up, allows you to learn more about her and the people she likes. Opportunity to find shared interests or things that she gets animated about - when someone becomes animated talking about something, that is a great topic to start asking questions about.
@@travelcoaching "Would you like to go for a walk so I can make you laugh even more?" has to be the creepiest conversational response I've read this week.
Omg 😂😭
I love the comments
@@jaroslavsvaha6065 DEADASS 🤣 like bruh I dont see ppl actually saying this in real life without coming off as cocky u don't say let's hangout so I can make you laugh more that just sounds cocky
This is my #1 goal to master in the next year. I’m not necessarily shy but I NEVER know what to say and I come off so awkward and shy when I’m not
Omg you’re not alone, same here actually!
Great goal.
How did it go?
How did it go?
Going well??
Me irl
"Wow your dress is nice, you must be a swimmer"
me tho. I am awful at talking to people. The main way I make friend is essentially by someone "adopting" me into their group of friends like a stray puppy.
@@Lycan_the_deerdog sameeeeee
Therese
Exactly, you have to be super self aware to use that technique
Your profile pic is nice. Hmm...let me guess....your an...uh, artist? 😂
BORC I’m sorry that made me lol but in a good way
Therese Cadalzo Wow are you a comedian
I don’t get it, how to you carry a conversation? When I’m around people, I’m usually the quiet one, and when they talk, it usually either goes
1. *friend says something*
Me: why didn’t I think of that
Or
2. *thinks of something potentially funny to say after conversation has ended*
U just legit ask about everything. They say something that could be built more in conversation, you ask about it. You see something they wore that interests u or could have an impact on the other person, ask them about it
@@LukeSkyblocker I think the problem is that we just don't know _what_ to ask on the spot.
For instance, if I find out that my classmate plays Super Smash Bros Ultimate, I ask them what character they main, how far have they gotten in the game... and that's about it.
We're like robots, we need a script of questions to ask instead of improvising. xD
Luaxon it’s funny that you mention improvising, I’ve thought about joining or making an improv group to help myself be more creative in the moment. I struggle to respond to people, but if I can sharpen my mind, things will come more naturally, instead of me thinking of something 12 hours later 😂
Very funny
Im pretty a quiet person myself. But u actually can learn something about them by watching them too. Like what they like to do, what hobby they love to do, their behaviour and their body language, their dislike and likes. Observe that n u can actually trigger a conversation. People loves it when u actually notice a little thing about them or compliment them. Even if you not good in talking , u can always be a good listener. From there, u can actually converse to help them out or creating a simple joke to help them out.
The moment I realized that I've done some weird "interview" instead of conversation. Thank you for the tips
Yeah I either ask to many questions or none at all
Dont ask too many questions because the person can feel irritated
I should be studying but somehow mastering the art of small talk just feels more important at the moment
@Joe Mama 3 days later but same
@@oDuckology one month later but same
@@Jk-qd4yr 2 months later but same
@Hari one month later but the same
@@IXGIGACHADXI 9 days later but same
People should stop thinking awkward silences are undesirable. Live with it. Russians never worry about awkward silences, it's basically a part of conversation.
Sam Knaip good thing over there
What are you talking about? Have you met any Russians like that? I'm just asking because I've never ever experienced that in my entire life, maybe it has to do with my personality but still.. Russians seems to be outgoing
Yep, Russians have a saying "if you dont have anything to say, then don't"
Russians, both men and women, can be very talkative when talking is interesting to them, but they don't mind keeping silent otherwise. They don't need to keep talking continuously no matter what.
Sam Knaip you see this in inexperienced public speakers. They feel like they have to fill every second of their speech time with them talking or making noises. They end up using more vocal fillers, speaking too quickly when they do that. The real expert speakers and storytellers use silence and pauses as a device to command control of the audience and punctuate their strong points.
Everyone’s a introvert here....
I'm not, I just love learning more things about communicating with people :D
No
Yes I'm
:D
Ambivert actually, just socially awkward :)
So how long have you been 23?
Wait no
Shite
Nvm
Lmao
😂
“ wait no gimme hints “
I mean, this is fixable. Just try to find a way to angle the question to the month they were born. Go like: So how long have you been 23? I want to see if our astral signs/birthdays line up. Maybe add a joke in after about your perception of people born that month.
Compliment + cold read “oh my god ur shoes are so nice, are u illegal?”
umm :D
Is it legit or fake? xD
Sounds underage
my friend:*tells an interesting story*
me
"öhh"
Lmao that's so me
Drab Lad, same, I’m getting better with it though
That's me
Same but I say “Damn that’s Crazy” After I payed absolutely no attention...Lmao
Say something like oh wow, i find(whatever you found interesting in the story) and then talk about it? You could then switch it and ask them things like why did that happen, or has it happened before?
Me: Hi
Her: Hi
Me: so, how you doin?
Her: pretty well
Me: .. ok
Her: ok
Me:...bye
Her: bye
Daniel Felipe in that case, it’s the girls fault lmao 😂
Oblivion dialogue system
A minute of silence for the fallen brother...
Daniel Felipe me in 6th grade 😂
Daniel Felipe right???? Like what are you supposed to say after that?? I don’t understand how people carry conversations
* me as a doctor in hospital *
Me: how are you? What brings you here todayy? Oh no, actually I want to guess!!
“So... How long have you been 24? Ooh, no wait lemme guess... 24 years?”
🤔
1 year? You're 24 only once😂
@@alexx9058 LMAOOOO
Lmao, I'll end up saying- *"why are you 23 years old?"*
@What a beast lmao
It was a leap year.
*why aren't you 60!?!?*
Could make it fun
Lmaoooo
"No more awkward silences."
Step 1: stop thinking silence is awkward.
It's not akward but according to script they should talk to us more when we talk to them
@@mrcool2107 and it's also their fault if there is somehow awkward silence. Anyways, that is inevitable and therefore take it as a learning experience and learn to be comfortable.
"what do you do for fun" is an annoying question. It's right up there with, what kind of music do you like?
Why are you always quiet?
Is the most annoying question to me
the only thing I would like people to ask me about would be: What kind of music do you like and I would never stop talking.
@@linked3970 why are you so quiet
@@noeliarte6783 For me it would be kind of a bad question, since I don't like the same music genre as the majority of people here. But while I'm at it what kind of music do you like? :) haha
When I hear questions like this I forget who I am and just say " idk"
I'm always practising when I take an Uber or Lyft. I'd say that's the best place to practise.
Aku brilliant idea, great way to practice
Oh my gosh! I use it for practice too lol Its great, I've gotten into really good conversations before too
practiCe
Dr. Marvel, it's both. Practise is British English, whereas practice is American.
Sadly doesn't work if you own a car and therefore have no need for such a peasant lifestyle
I don't like that so many comments here focus on Ben's appearance, so I just want to say:
Your video is really helpful and I like that you became a part of this channel :)
maggithepink thank you! I think I underestimated the amount of critique I was opening myself up to by starting to contribute to the channel, so thanks for saying so :-)
Benjamin Altman I guess people just need time to adjust, so don't take it personal :) Merry Christmas btw :D
Nobody cares what you think MEGAN >:(
Yeah, it seems that most things are based on appearance as you try to appeal to certain people, yet fail when you lack appearance.
Me: Wow nice hair
Them: Thanks
Me: How old is your hair?
*Awkward silence*
Hey Ben, I just want to say that you are really good at what you do. A lot of people have been commenting about them missing Charlie; but that's probably because of them being more used to him - I can understand that. Nevertheless, you are doing an equally amazing job. Introducing a new face to the audience is never easy, but you DO fit in this channel's theme as if you've been here since the very beginning. Great work and keep it up!
Thanks Alex! I really appreciate your comment :-)
I totally get the growing pains and understand where they’re coming from, but it isn’t always fun to read. Comments like yours really bring me up and inspire me to try to make great videos for you :-)
@@benjaminaltman4895 I am new to this channel and I would have never said that you were new to the channel either. I appreciate what this channel provides to those as myself who are feeling trapped by not being able to socialize. I was only able to socialize easily when I was drinking and when I stopped drinking I started feeling stuck, shy and unconfident like I have no personality. I am learning so much from you and this channel thank you, you are an a amazing soul.
Ben’s teeth are whiter than his shirt!!! Do you drink coffee/ wine?
Nick Thorpe hahaha thanks Nick. So I’m just gonna out myself here, I do drink coffee but I use a Koffee Straw (from Amazon). I feel like a goofball doing it but it keeps my teeth from going brown haha
did u just use the first technique
Compliment plus cold read
Damn, boy, you learn fast 😁
I didn’t even realize I did it 😂
As someone who struggles with their social filter and for that reason loathes small talk because of the accompanying awkwardness, I appreciate this video.
i hate small talk
Same, same.
Perhaps that's why we watch such videos.
I'd rather avoid small talk than "get better at it". I was just curious what he was going to say.
Noblesse Oblige same but it's hard to avoid it
and yet you are engaging in a small talk on youtube... don't delude yourself. You don't hate small talks, you can't hate small talks (that's like hating the fact you need food to survive), you just hate the fact you suck at small talks, that your social skills are shit.
If you think you hate it then you don't understand what small talk is and what is its function in society. Stop that "new-edge" crap that you are a lost individual in this stupid world in which nobody gets you, everybody else is stupid, rules suck, adults are idiots and stuff like that. There are evolutionary reasons, written deep in your essence of being, for why small talks exist. So stop that crap and take control over your steering wheel.
I recommend reading "Selfish Gene" by Richard Dawkins. It puts your life in perspecitve.
What always impresses me about COC videos is that the hosts always clearly do the video in one (or just a couple) take(s). This proves that they know what they're on about, because they have the confidence to happily speak for 10 minutes at a time on a topic.
This helps because I am an introvert. I DISLIKE small talk but talk to me about life, what makes you happy, etc & ill be talking for hours.
I'm so bad at talking
Hey
Hey
How are you?
Good, you?
Good
Cool
Yeah
Ok
Bye
Bye
I'm a new direct seller and I just had the worst conversation I've ever been through of my life.
And I'm here
This seems way too hard. I would never remember any of this in the high stress situation of interacting with a human being.
Just today I had a very nice conversation with someone I didn't know very well and it's hilarious as almost all the points mentioned were present at the time. I'm watching this video just 6 hours after that conversation, and I find it funny to identify each point as a reason why I enjoyed it so much xD Great job dude
A pretty good conversation question is “what’s a favourite book of yours?” Either you get some good book recs or you can give some book recs if they don’t have an answer
I have Aspergers and trying to improve my small talk skills. Perhaps I am too critical but I'm not feeling too sure about some of what you say. Like the first one, compliment and then make a sort of guess, it feels like it can come off as really cheesy. It made me instantly think of creepy dudes who message me on Facebook with stuff like "you're so pretty, are you a model?" which is really just insanely cringey - even I with my terrible social skills know this. The guessing game also feels pretty weird, like the kind of thing super outgoing people do that makes everyone else slightly annoyed or uncomfortable.
I liked your tips. I would add "be fully present during the conversation" because many times I feel like we just don't pay attention to someone so there's just some strange "energy" going on that shows you might be not real interested because you are worring if you are doing right and trying to think about the next question so you end up being disconnected, which is the opposite of what you wanted.
A big hello from Brazil. Thanks!
In the beginning, you said "Merry Christmas" and I was like "Oh this again..."
But then you said "If you celebrate it", and I felt included and considered.
Thank you.
Small talk is difficult because there is not a real subject and goal.
My way of making small talk: "Hey, so I just watched a tutorial on small talk. Can I try some techniques on you?"
Damn thanks for that, because, well, Introvert things like small talk, right?!
I am a project manager's assistant at an architect company, and sometimes I have to go with her to construction sites in her car. I had to learn to hold a small talk VERY quickly. At first, it was awkward, and I felt as if I was in a social experiment (she is my boss and it made everything even more awkward). Thank god she usually has a lot to say, and in the meantime, I can think about questions and what to add to this conversation. It is like a real-life IQ test. It is hard and it is a skill I certainly need to master. Nobody told me that I would have to handle small talk situations when I applied to this job :D
Merry Christmas Ben! I'll be seeing family today so I'm excited to use these tips!
Jennifer Micek Merry Christmas to you too Jennifer! Hope you have fun with this :-)
J
H.e.l.l.o
Merry Christmas!
I have a nagging issue that I know you could make a video about. You do a lot of videos about how to be more attractive and escape the friend zone but what I need, as a female is how to be friendly without people thinking I'm interested in a relationship.
I am naturally a people person and have never struggled with conversations or charisma, but what I find happens a lot is that it's often mistaken for me being "into" them, when I'm just being nice. I hate having friend zone people, because they ask me out and say I was giving them signs I like them. it makes me feel really bad and I wonder how many times I can get away with saying no before someone takes it badly and something bad happens. Thank you for your time, I hope this gives you a new video topic, have a great day :)
Opheliacinthelake hi! Did you see the Wonder Woman video? Charlie and I don’t have firsthand experience being a woman so to be candid we have to imagine or ask female friends for something like this, but Charlie included something on this when talking about Gal Gadot that will hopefully be helpful!
fart in front of them
Hi Benjamin Altman no I didn't see that one, I don't think it was in my feed :/ thank you so much for your reply, it's greatly appreciated for you to take time to read and reply.
I will do and check out the video now. 😁 sorry for late reply, wasn't feeling well over the last week. Have a fabulous new year BTW
Gratitude and best wishes from England
DJ Woof lmao good idea 😉
Benjamin Altman Also, a video about how to tell the difference between a girl just being nice versus her actually liking you would be very, VERY helpful.
Keep up the good work, man. You're awesome.
"why are you 23 years old?" "nice shirt, do you always wear them?" i gotta admit it's actually funny way to talk
not bad at socializing but i honestly NEVER know what to talk about
Just listening to you talk made me feel better today. You remind me of a guy I used to work with and with him small talk was super natural and I loved talking with him. I'm 17 and he was around 20 years old but we talked as if we already knew each other and I must have used all the tips you gave in this video without knowing! I guess it comes naturally with some people?
Lol, perfect video for Christmas reunions.
That first tip actually works. And I did it before without even thinking. I took English classes and there was a beautiful Korean girl I really liked, I said to her that she looked really cute in her clothes and asked her if she was a model. That absolutely made the conversation really open and without any problem I asked her for a date. It really works!
~ That's awesome!
Me: *Oh! you wear clothes are you... ENHALES*
a modern human who was probably born on 2000 and now is 25yrs old because he traveled back in time and now is drinking cofee and sucking oxygen through his mouth and exhaling carbondioxide with a mom who likes bread?
Him: Uhhh Yea.....
Me: OMG SAME WE HAVE SOOO MUCH IN COMMON
Him: ok.
Me: ok.
Him: Bye
Me: Bye
*Both ends up walking in the same direction which gets even more akward*
I had some nervous meeting with my boss, then I decide to search for this in RUclips. It never disappoints me.
I love when I learn that I'm already doing something good without even thinking about it and although I'm already doing said thing, I can develop it now that I'm aware.
Silence is seriously under rated.
PLS guys! Make a video about 'How to meet people when you just moved', I actually need it :D
convos with ppl i hate:
them: hey
me: hey
them: how are you
me: good you?
them: good wyd
me: nothing
them: same
me: 👁👄👁 I h a t e y o u 🖤
I feel good about this video because it is useful at the same time i feel embarrassing because I'm watching a tutorial about how to talk to people.
That first technique some seller did on me a while ago. I'm into makeup and was all dressed up. So he walked up to me and said "Hi I'm x. I just wanted to say you look really good with that makeup, are you a stylist?". He also followed up with a new compliment, and I was flattered the rest of the day 😅
@Dominique Lavalle I think I can decide for myself what I consider a compliment or an insult. Thank you for your concern though.
In real life:
Me: Hahaha are you a comedian?
Person: No.
---------------
Me: Have you heard of the high elves?
Me: Goodbye.
Such an underrated comment lmaooo
I like videos like this, everyone wants to get past small talk but I always see it as an avenue to cool and interesting topics about the person. You have to start somewhere and small talk, if done right is a great way to do it.
I appreciate the effort to be much more enthusiastic and extroverted. Definitely giving me ideas of how to chill out not be so nervous and keep it light and fun like I was talking to a friend.
It seems like it’s about being really relaxed and taking those thoughts we have in our heads and saying them out loud.
I hate socializing but I realized I need it to network.Glad I landed here.
~ Glad you found our channel, Maryanne! Hopefully, we'll have lots more good stuff for you :-)
teeth are so white
are you a dentist assistant?
Seriously how do you even do that :o
@StoneDank The white teeth?
At a certain level of whiteness it boils down to genetics.
I knew a guy with teeth as white as snow despite smoking.
Other simply have more naturally darker teeth.
(Also there's usually even a difference in appearance within one person's set of teeth - the canine teeth of most people are somewhat darker, at the upside of being sturdier).
Ruben Stanišić i see what u did there
Ruben Stanišić you used the technique well lmao
how else is watching this on Christmas 2022 crazy how i searched this up and its the same month still tells you how advanced yt has gotten
I've been trying to talk to this girl and she is really hard to talk to.
Me: What exciting things have you done this break?
Her: nothing
She aknowleges that she doesn't talk a lot. Her sister says she doesn't dislike me. I don't know what to do when she does this.
I’d advise that you keep trying. It might take her some time to open up if she’s shy and/or introverted. She might enjoy listening to what you find interesting, what you do for fun, etc.
I ran into a similar problem.
What worked for me was to tell her stuff instead of asking. If we go with your example:
Me/you: what'd you do last week?
Her: nothing
Me/you: *make eye contact and giggle* okay, that's exciting haha. I went to....
Her: oh really? How was it?
This keeps the conversation going even if she is a little shy.
If you make sure she knows that you want to have a conversation she will most likely be more engaging
What to do: Find someone who's actually fun. You're welcome.
Tell her a interesting or funny story that happened to you over the break or whenever, eg talk about pets or what you did in the snow (if it snowed their that is) anything that exited you?
lucky bastard.
You don’t actually know how bad I need this
I once saw my friends play and when it was done I didn’t even notice but I gave him a compliment and a cold read by saying
“The play was really good!(compliment) you should become a actor(cold read)”
I’m 34 years old, recently been diagnosed with ASD and after all these years I am still learning how to have conversations with people, except at this point it’s more about getting by each day than making friends.
actually i rather find small talk awkward than silence
The moment when you realise despite everybody saying wow you're and extrovert you must be great at socializing... Then they talk you...and now everybody thinks you're annoying or just hate you for being you so now you're here to become better at socializing despite being and extrovert just so that a fracture of the people u know won't completely hate u.
Leaving my basement to go socialize. Wish me luck 😂😂😅
Good luck
First-time viewer here. I'm a very social person and meet a lot of people, but often find myself lacking in this area. Found this to be insightful and helpful and very easy to follow. Thanks for your efforts!
~ Glad you're finding it helpful Jacob!
Hey Ben and Charlie! I love watching your videos. I’ve seen a huge difference in my charisma and confidence since watching your videos. I’d love it if you could make a video about how to converse with and brighten a customer’s day when your interaction with them is very short (under 1-2 minutes). I work at Chipotle and while I usually converse and joke with our regulars, I often run out of questions for the average guest apart from “how’s your day going” or “how are you going to enjoy this beautiful day” or compliments. What are some good questions to make a connection with our guests? Thanks and Merry Christmas!
A listing:
1. Compliment + Cold Read
2. Open ended questions they might be passionate about
3. Ask for points of view or interests or opinions on subjects
Person: What do you do for fun? How long have you lived in LA?
Me: None of your damn business...
people need to learn that silence is no akward to balanced contented people. Like Native Americans long ago knew
"OMG, you're so funny. Are you a comedian?"
NO DUDE THAT'S NOT A COMPLIMENT. LMAO
The fact that I’m not alone makes me feel better. Thought it was just me who can’t human properly
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, Ben & Charlie! I hope that you had a great holiday! ...I just thought I'd share this with you...
People on the autism spectrum could really benefit from some of the life lessons that you guys teach, especially in regard to conversational etiquette. Autistic people often have an inability to judge what kinds of interactions are appropriate, and which are not. They have to learn the appropriate responses to each individual situation, and often have trouble applying what they've learn to other situations. I think that the format you have might be helpful to individuals that have trouble interacting on the fly. This'd be especially true if they have difficulty reading facial expressions. Obviously, it's not going to fix all of the challenges that autism comes with, but it could be a step in the right direction towards living a fuller life. Workplace etiquette, appropriate social interactions, how to know when someone isn't interested in your chosen topic of conversation, etc. You guys give very specific suggestions that may help people with autism, for whom simple interactions can be confusing and intimidating. I don't know how you would attract this particular audience, or how (or if) the focus of the company would change if you did. But, it's a whole new target market that might really benefit from the work you do. Could even be an opportunity to do some non-profit work. Just throwing the idea out there.
This is the kind of video I like. Brief enough. Knows his stuff. Review at the end. Good, useful material. 👑
I’m mad y’all are handsome af like “oh yeah just do this and people will like you!” Look at your face. People are going to like you.
Man I can't wait to become a human this is a really good revision resource for learning to person
I tried this and got arrested for sexual assault
Zyn hahhahaha
Another video should be made about how to avoid small talk from strangers. Especially when it's men who do this more so.
Stranger: so what do you do for fun?
Me: oh haha I watch RUclips videos on how to socialize
Stranger: oh..
*awkward silence*
Man i just want to make a small talk, not manipulating them to liked me. I may be an awkward misanthrope but i believe that i'm also a realist. I don't want to spend the rest of my life pleasing and seeking validation from people who actually don't like me for who i am.
500$ an hour? Hire me
that's lawyers too xd
trashonspeed lawyers go up to 850 per hour, top tier lawyers ☻
It'd be like
*wanting to actually socialize for once*
*goes up to random person to socialize*
Them: "Hello how are you "
Me: "Compliment, cold read so yea....."
*unbearable akward silence*
Me: "what???"
Them: ..........nothing
*realizing wut I just said*
"ight ima go kms now"
Most of the time it's just a compatibility issue, if you're not compatible with someone just don't push it that conversation isn't gonna work, there's plenty of people out there that you'll be able to talk to naturally without trying to make an effort you don't have to be able to do that with everyone
Good video! Just a technical observation: your face seems a bit dark (not well lit enough), especially in contrast to your white shirt. Maybe try to minimize shadows on your head/face somehow (rearrange lighting or whatever)....?
This is the first video on small talk that has actually helped me
I hate small talk & going to work with humans I have no interest in lol
I'm anxious even watching this
$500 for an hour session guys
Where do I pay?
For us non-gregarious introverts interested in deep conversation quickly, and quickly tired by small talk, what might you suggest? Or, does it seem a rhetorical question, and we should simply ping their interest on a given topic? I am not bothered by silence itself, but do quickly begin worrying if others are uncomfortable, which means I attempt to rectify their perceived displeasure.
me: where do u live
other person: oh i live in.....
me : oh wait! Lets play a guessing game !!!!!!
other person: umm i gotta go..(_slowly backing away_)
me: _(awkwardly walks away)
:/ yeah not happening
I don't think your supposed to say it like that? I'm pretty it's more like "oh wait! Let me guess! You live in Utah?" Pretty this would be more acceptable
This can be put into practice with Uber or Lyft drivers. Just strike up a random (and appropriate) topic and before you know it, you've talked about 8 things already!
I actually talked to a lyft driver from eating spaghetti to spaghetti in Shakey's in the Philippines out of nowhere. Friendly people really!