End Your Meaningless Relationships
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- Опубликовано: 7 фев 2025
- We have collected material possessions and friendships that really don't fit anymore. As time becomes more valuable, spend time with those who fill us up.
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By Laura Downey Hill
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Just because i have free time doesn't mean I'm available.....love that
I just have to keep reminding myself🤣
My best friend of 40+ years couldn't be bothered to attend my son's funeral. I assisted and supported him over the years when his life was in the toilet. But the day before the funeral, he left town on a pleasure road trip where he admitted he didn't even have a specific destination in mind; just a trip to get out of town... His father and mother in law showed up as if to say 'we're sorry he is not here.' At the reception after the funeral, I looked around and had an epiphany; I realized the most toxic people in my life had come disguised as friends and family. These people have long been edited out of my life and I am very, very selective as to whom I let into my life now. At almost 70 years of age, life a lot better with fewer people in my life adding baggage and drama to my existence. I've always preferred solitude. Now I live it completely.
I love how you said you have edited them out of your life. So profound. Thank you for sharing this
Hello, can I just say so very sorry you were treated so poorly, and also for you tragic loss. Blessings to you and your loved ones.
🇬🇧🇨🇦🌺🌸🙏
Spot on!! Once you wake up and really see these people in your life for who they REALLY are, it's easy to cut the ties and move on. Then, the REAL people who treat you how you should be treated walk into your life.
Agree💯thanks so much for the comment
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Whenever you feel that feeling of hesitation when you see their name on the phone, listen to your inner voice and take appropriate action. Release the stress and anguish from your body. I spent almost 6 months dodging my half-sister's phone calls instead of dealing with my issues with her the first moment of uneasiness. Once I explained to her how I felt and could articulate my awkwardness, the phone calls/texts stopped and she is essentially a Facebook friend.
Nice greenhouse and your brother-in-law is talented.
Good advice!!
I got all of them out of my life!
I’m right behind you 🎉
I’ve known my friend for 10 years, had fall outs twice and did not speak for 3 years, she contacted me and a long story short we got back together, its been two years and just 3 weeks ago i was judged and made to feel i dont do much for her, i have always been there for her, picked her up when she had an eye op and made sure she stayed with me ect…..im the good friend until her other good friend comes along then im left out, we both in our 60s , she is very demanding, i was shocked when she judged me and made me feel so bad, i have not heard from her, if she has not apologised by now im guessing she wont and i don’t care im done, tied of being the door mat, she loves playing the victim!
PS came across your channel last week and it has helped me thanks.
I’m so sorry this happened. There are people who get some kind of enjoyment out of being unkind, even cruel. She showed you who she really is and getting as far away as possible is healthy!!
I am very cautious about reconciling with people who have not made amends and want to pick up where they left off without any explanation whatsoever. Behaviour from the past is likely to rear its ugly head again in the future if issues have not been addressed. I am sorry for your predicament. I too have gone through something similar with a sibling for the sake of "family" but these days I am a lot more prepared and have boundaries in place. Time to find some "safe" friends.
Thank you Laura
I agree i decluttered people out of my life they weren't there when i
Needed them
Agree💯glad I’m finally doing this too!
I only have 3 really good friends that I’ve been with for years. My best friend I’ve known since age 5. I’ve never been much of a friend collector. There have been many times over the years where I’ve envied people who have a large friend group. I don’t need to declutter friends but my closet is a different story. 😂
Your brother in law is very talented. Thank you for sharing his beautiful painting with us.
🤣🤣my closets are bad too. I was always an acquaintance collector. Too many surface relationships but not many deep ones. I think I realize now that is who I am so part of this process is trying to own it.
Wonderful advise to declutter - I’ve dropped a few friends & have been wondering what to say when they call. Hmmm the phone has not been them. Perhaps the feelings were mutual…. Happily noted
Thanks!!
Hello from a freezing Scotland
Oh I just looked!! I keep Glasgow on my weather app. Stay toasty warm🥶
I have never had a tremendous amount of friends, I have only about 4 friends that make time for me in their lives, so I consider them my besties. Anyone else who has that false “ oh we need to get together, call me ! “ saying is not really a friend in my opinion. Such a beautiful place you are in and your brother in law is an amazing artist ! It is on my bucket list to see Scotland and Ireland someday !!! 💖💖💖💖
Thanks so much! Appreciate you taking the time to share
What a beautiful property and greenhouse
Isnt it gorgeous. It’s in Loch Lomond wish the time of year was different. It’s incredible in the spring🌸🌹🌺
Hello from Wiltshire Laura😊🌹
I realized in recent years how much of my life was spent volunteering. I am over it. It is always the same people that "volunteer" for things as well. Some people never donate their time for anything.
I hope you enjoyed your trip. My Dad's parent's were from the West coast (Ayrshire) and we still have family there that we are close too. My ankle surgery made my trip there not possible this year!
I’m a serial volunteer too! You end up being. ‘Used’ because you’re a sure yes to every ask. And yes it’s always the same people doing the work. I’m burned out. The trip was fabulous. Scotland is absolutely lovely and the people are so friendly. We were right above Ayrshire at Loch Lomond🏴💙
@@laurahillauthor So glad to hear! The people are amazing!!
Thank you so much for this introspective video - Im not the best at letting go of treasures! -
but thanks to your words of wisdom - I reached out to 2 older friends to attend an Art Affair coming up in November 2 & they all agreed to go! Really trying to encourage old friends who need a new positive day trip! I'm hoping for the best experience! 💕
i reached out to 2 older
Good for you! I hope you have a great outing❤️
Hi and welcome 🏴🇬🇧🏴
Thanks!!!
Very nicely explained.thanks
Thanks so much!
Hello ❤❤❤ Laura
Welcome to Scotland ❤
Such a gorgeous country💙🏴
That's our weather roughly all year round. No wonder we drink whisky 😀
I drank a bit while I was there😂
@@laurahillauthor 😀😀😀
Such a beautiful painting I love the delicate detail in his work, thank you for sharing. I live in the highlands of Scotland. Hope you are enjoying your visit here.
It’s been wonderful! Fortunately this is my second trip the highlands are magnificent. My husband and I did the train trip up through the Highlands two years ago. I tell my friends here in Texas that someday I’m going to Scotland and never coming back💙🏴
Did you get to see the Kelpies? I love your content btw xoxo
Thanks so much! I can’t wait to see the Kelpies it’s on my bucket list. My mom is using a walker right now so she wanted to stay close to Loch Lomond. We only ventured out to Inveraray. Hopefully next trip!
This is why men just watch football!
🤣😂
Great video mom!
Thanks! Getting better at this
Thank you for the vid, if I might say so, your husband is a lucky man. Safe travels.
Thank you!
Dorset UK 😊
Awesome!!! Thanks for watching
love it!
Thanks!
Isn’t it incredible we have the same trees here in 🇨🇦and then there is a palm tree my favourite it’s a little slice of heaven in that green house wowsa ❤️I think he’s an incredibly talented artist such a unique plant 💚that succulent arrangement just beautiful ❤️Your message is a great idea to keep and revisit ! Thank you and I’m so happy you share your knowledge with all these beautiful scenes behind you ❤️
It was nice being there with him and watching him work. The greenhouse is amazing. Wish my camera did it justice. Thanks!
Exactly!
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Had an epiphany the other day. If you had a long term friendship that ended badly. Remember that there was once something good about it, but that person most likely had a wack style of communication or behavior that stems from their rough childhood. Forgive that, but move on!
Exactly. Take the lessons and move on!!
The one friend that did that to me .....did it twice. There were no third time 😎 I told her goodbye and why. Guess what.... I was the mean girl 😅😅😅😅 she made sure that was me . My fault. To everyone.
There’s nothing mean about standing up for yourself.
♥️
I am really struggling and have no one to turn to except God. I love my husband but boy do I feel alone. I so wish I had good relationships with my divorced parents, a sibling, a friend. My husband is wonderful but it’s not enough. I so long for a good quality female relationship via family or friendship. I have been feeling so down for months now. I feel like every time I try to navigate through something painful I am alone. I’m in my late 40’s with 2 teens and a little boy and I love them dearly but I am just worn out. There is nobody to go to.
I am part of a “friend group” in my neighborhood that is nice to be able to do things once on a while but I know they are not good friends. The queen of the group also treats me bad. I can’t get out of it because I live near all of them and then I would have nobody.
💔I’m sorry you are going through a tough time. Hoping others here have some suggestions.
I have also experienced the "queen bee" and her followers, not as close friends but as an acquaintance. I found the dynamic quite toxic and did not get involved. Perhaps try some volunteering or a church group for support. Being in a toxic group only makes you feel lonelier.
@@suef52 it does. I am trying to view it as it’s nice to get out once in a while but it has been a great lesson for me to understand the way it is. The one girl, lady, is a lot of fun but she can be mean. I really don’t have any other friends and we all live in the same neighborhood so I just go with it. Trying not to let it get me down
What about people from your past who you like but are not local or close friends anymore but you touch base with them maybe once a year to catch up - i’m getting the impression that people think that is not worth doing and to put energy into only good friends?
The only friends that I think need to go in my life are those that were never true. Thus ‘falships’.I think it’s totally worth the effort for people who matter to you and you to them.. Two of my dearest friends live on the east coast one in Florida the other in New England. I adore catching up with them even if it’s only a few times a years. I think we need different types of friendships some people we may only see periodically, some we only see at a class or at a specific place. Thanks for sharing!
I have a "friend" like this of over 50 years but we have nothing in common these days. I think our connection is based solely on our history but I haven't seen her in years. We are only FB friends these days. I think as we get older we get more discerning about who we want to spend time with. That's my experience anyway.
Oh how strange RUclips wouldn't let me put and English and Scottish flag
They showed up below, maybe RUclips needed a minute to think lol🏴