I hear you, but me reaching out to him is a no no. I’m sticking to the NC for me so I can focus on my mental and spiritual wellbeing. I hope he does the same for himself. I still love him and I know he loves me but he has trauma he has to deal with.
Me to sis fawk em what's meant to be will be especially if it was a long term relationship..... If he can forget me after 4 yrs then so be it 😂good luck sis 🤞
This sure hits home. I acknowledged my issues and have been doing the work, but she thinks she has no work to do. Still reaches out regularly, and I'm always super conflicted about what to say, or whether I want to keep doing this. It's hell.
Watch the video through to get the FULL context. Do not break no contact if you are the dumpee. The video explains mainly what to do when the dumper reaches out. Especially when looking at the masculine essence in the relationship. After the dumper reaches out, how do you move things to where YOU want it to go without chasing them
@@xannecorinnex things between us had been ongoing for a while, meaning not speaking. He reached out around my birthday (Dec) to wish me a beautiful day and that he missed me. I responded nicely but didn't really feel totally secure. They're was no more communication at that point until recently on Valentine's Day that's when we had a very serious heart to heart. A lot of it was miscommunication for both of us. I'm still taking things very slowly to make sure that we're both doing the right thing and so far I feel we are. Time will tell... One thing we both know for sure is that we love each other!
I will definitely give an update, I have a very busy schedule during the day. Later on this evening I will definitely reply. Thanks! I had given an update, it's deleted, not sure what happened 🤷♀️
It's that "you have to get what you want" vs "if it's meant to be then it will happen" and that was where I struggled. But there's always a power dynamic. Breaking NC often exemplifies their reasoning in breaking up with you. I broke no contact and reached out after a year and half but it put me on that "lower pedestal hierearchy" because it gives them the impression that you are nothing without them. That you're weak and they're all that you're thinking about even if you have your life in check in all areas - job, school, family, friends, status, etc. Personally the relationship will flow better when the dumper reaches out but sometimes you can't deal with avoidants.
@@blacademicUnfortunately most of the time avoidants won't reach out first. They're convinced that there's always something wrong with others but NEVER with them.
@@ninaziva4639 not necessary. They will when they will feel save and they have a high interest level. They are not chasing but they will reach out. It can be different when the dynamic in your relationship was more that the non avoidant chased. There are severel reasons, but it doesnt mean that they wont reach out.
wow, I think there should be a timelimit of chasing. If nothing happens within the first 6 month, you have lost the battle and should move on. Maybe, you finally should move on.
Its been 3 months now, I improved SO Much, lost so much weight.. got a nice job (before no job) i m... I m getting so much stronger. I start to feel more secure. I wanna be 100% secure tho before I reach out. I wanna get my license, I wanna buy a car, I wanna have a six pack (those are material things but I want them FOR ME, cause I always wanted it). If i m confident in myself. I want her back. She loved me. I felt it but she knew i wouldnt be able to change anything and she was right. I needed it to happen.
@@alex_skyddoesnt feel like i need her anymore its more like giving her the Chance and me aswell to grt to know esch other again when i m actually my self. Its hard to explain cause u obv dont know my whole back Story. But u are def right
I’m glad you are working on yourself. I’m sure she still has love for you, but these things happen for a reason. You seem to be learning from it and it’s more than most people can say. Good for you.
Thank you for your words. I learned ton of it, honestly my life had a 180 turn - it feels good to actually get forward in life. I never felt as good in my body as now and i m not even close to what i wanna achieve with my body. Same goes for other things in life. Its just weird to see on a rational side that she kinda had no choice. Because if she stood, then i d be still the same. I needed that. Eventho I never wanted it. I m still not ready but I think if i m becoming stable then ... idk she was the right person @@Usernameblankslate
Today I finally gaveup on getting my ex back . I’m exhausted , haven’t slept well for 2 months . Now I’m working on moving on . My heart hurts . I have accepted and made peace with my heart . If someone knows any methods of moving on please help . Being a man I have responsibilities which I’m not able to fulfill . No one understands my pain not even my family . Never thought loving someone truely would be this painful .
Make a list of 101 goals and start working on them! That will make you occupied and even give you a boost of confidence and motivation. In the meantime you will heal and you will notice a change in your perspective of that person.
Find hobbies my guy. Takes your mind off of things and you can meet new people. Been 3 months for me and it does get easier, but you'll still have cloudy days. Just keep swimming and working on you. Cry when you have to, wipe the tears and keep swimming.
One method that I found to work is to. Yes, initiate and maintain no contact. But that doesn't mean no contact completely. Give them 5 or 10 days to themselves to think. Reach out once, don't be pushy to say. Hey, I've been thinking about you. I've been wondering you know. Would you like to meet up for coffee and converse? Whether they say something or not have that small conversation or not, and move on for 4 or 5 10 days if this repeats for a month Or 2 months and they don't say anything. It's really a time to move on. You need to give them the entire in space but you also need to reassure them that. Hey, I'm here. I care you're interested in them will create interest in you but to pour your power out. Every single time you talk to them is going to push them away. You have to meet in the middle. We're all human. We all miss. We all desire and we all deserve. And every couple and relationship is 100% different.
Well, as far as I understood it, everyone is going to some phases of separation. The one who left you, doesnt realise that you are gone as he first is in the relief phase. He/she/it feels empowered and shows NO Interest level. Contacting now just would do 2 thinks: 1. he/she/it wont realise that you are gone as you still stick around 2. you confirm with your action that he/she/it does the right thing. Moreover, you do not generate the needed interest level. this phase everyone is going trough. The difference only is the time every person needs for every phase. Therefore, you really shouldnt commuicate during at least the first month. However, I struggle, if there are committments like children and flatt etc.
I respect your videos. i do enjoy them. On this one, i disagree. Some people are just cold-hearted and selfish. They don't want to accept accountability for their actions of the part that they played to cause the break up to take place, nor were they willing to fix it while you were still in the relationship with them. That's a person who is showing you that the relationship for whatever reason has ran it's course 💯. We need to face reality, which is the hardest thing that the relationship is over, and that person didn't love you as much as you thought that they did. Not all the time, no contact works, and i can testify to that in getting back involved with that person. That person already has their mind made up that you were the worst person they ever met all because they don't want to accept accountability for their own actions. They don't acknowledge the good times that you had nor when you went up and beyond for them. All they remember is how you told them flat out how you felt and what you needed from the relationship that they just didn't care to do.
Naw they are too angry for that 😂 they are looking for a landing spot for their anger, hurt and misery! I was doing “no contact” but my wife and I are separated, not divorced! It wasn’t working for me because there are signs we can reconcile so no contact wasn’t working for me! Plus faith is belief AND action…
Same but all that separates you and others is a piece of paper. No contact works. Here’s why… It allows you to disconnect and THEN see the big picture, clearer.
No contact worked for me, I made and still make changes I realizes I needed to evolve. Things I thought I worked on. But he has expressed interest again so it did work as far as attraction increasing.
You teach very well. Everything you say makes sense and is well balanced. Both keeping dignity and also respectfully seize opportunity with intelligence
It’s been nearly 2 months since she dumped me and her last words were “we both needs to move on as we both deserve”. She appears to have moved on. I’ve been in no contact, but she has unfriended me on all social platforms and probably blocked my number. I’ve lost 25 pounds since breakup. I’m anxious, she’s a DA. I don’t think she will have a change of heart.
Do not break no contact if THEY have not reached out to you first. Please watch the whole video. Don’t set yourself back by breaking no contact unprovoked
This is maybe relevant for guys but not ladies. If your ex boyfriend (dumper) reaches out several times, as a woman you don't help him by offering a meet up or anything, nor do you say "let me know if you change your mind" : do not helps men (dumpers) to put you on the shelf and back burner. Especially if your dumper is avoidant attached or emotionally unavailable. If you position yourself like that, you set yourself up for ever breadcrumbs potentially. Coach I think you underestimate how male dumpers will reach out over months and even years to their exes, (and no, not within one month like you suggest, but more scattered reach outs), because they are still undecided, confused and like the validation.
Agreed completely. Even though I was the dumper and my ex boyfriend the dumpee he broke promises and did some pretty shitty things towards the end of our relationship. If you're a woman who broke up with a guy due to bad behavior/unchanged behavior or some betrayal then I don't think opening up the space for him to send breadcrumbs of insincere remorse is the ticket. This advice works if a relationship was more or less good but stuff like timing, lack of alignment or different goals pulled you guys apart. And even then in some cases these relationships come to and end and should stay that way. Reconnecting? Maybe. Getting back together? Probably not.
I JUST had the thought that synchronicities are happening to me and like attracts like etc. The literal MOMENT you said you have a plane flying over you i looked up and saw a plane flying over me walking home rn. I CACKLED 😂✨️
I am the woman who was dumped. He pursued me for a year and a half after totally loving him for a year next month he wanted to marry then all of a sudden before valentine's day he said we are done. I am devastated but no way am i going to reach out to him. Unfortunately i have to see him at a hospital where i go for a brief time everyday so he still visually sees me but wont speak or text. 😢
Im trying to attract my wife and family back I first thought experience in our marriage she runs out and it's was something that could be fixed I'm just hoping I get another chance with her again
I chased on and off for almost 2 months post break up.. she’s severely avoidant. We hooked up after I broke NC the first time. Now 3 months post break up. 3 weeks back in full no contact. She keeps randomly unblocking me on IG for a day or two then reblocking. It’s happened two or three times now. She always has a story posted. I’ve never looked. I’m not feeding in to her. Those small signs make me feel good. Even if they shouldn’t and it’s not a big enough reason. At least I know she has feelings. Whatever they may be.
My situations a little different. We have been together for 1 year and 9 months, almost 2 years. He has been legally separated for 2 years and his divorce is final at the end of this month.... He said he has been fighting hate in his heart the past couple weeks and needs to work on himself alone... He said hes not looking for anyone or anything different and doesn't know if this is the right decision and is leaving it up to God to lead him in the right direction. Our relationship was great, but a few things were not ideal at the moment. He did get in his head from time to time and would go silent and I know that would upset him. He just asked me to please let him go and let things work out they way they are meant to. It's only been a day, and im strong enough not to reach out to him, but it's not what I want, and it is so hard... I know in my heart it's not what he wants. Any advice would be so helpful ❤
@coachblac My wife and i are temporarily separated and doing no contact we have 2 boys. We set a date from the gate to meet up to see where we stand. What are your thoughts was that the right thing to due? By setting a date prior to going into our no contact
An EX is an EX for a reason. What split yall up will always come back at some point. Please make a video about moving on, self improvement and how to be ready for the next relationship at the right time. I love your content but why is it always about an EX and not the next chapter of life
Well, during no contact you are suppossed to work on yourself (aka self improvement) otherwise you will have trouble to get your ex anyway. And there are several reasons for a break up eg depression or overwhelmness- why should you end a more or less good relationship because of temporary issues? Nontheless, there are ppl who will always fight for love- this way they are able to proceed better (for a next relationship).
I have read in many articles that avoidants never reach out even if they miss you. They expect you to chase them even if they are the dumper. What should I do in this?
Why should you pursue someone who left you in the first place? You showed them how much you loved them but they left anyway. If anyone one should be doing the pursuing then it's your ex. And if they choose not to, then you forget about them and move on.
Tell em why your mad Son 😂😂😂 u know u can simply NOT follow this page right? You know u can simply keep it moving right? I never understood folks blasting people on their own page but yet you made the choice to click on his page! Goofy 💩
Unfortunately life and relationships aren’t black and white. Women expect men to pursue. And sometimes women break up because they want to feel like the man cares enough to put his pride aside and go after her. Believe me, it baffles me too
My advice coming from my experience just move on it's a peaceful feeling when u surrender to the loss of them there is healing power in letting go just like death we all gotta go at some point let go
I watched all your videos and as hard as it was of not talking to him I still maintained my distance… today I tried to reach out but I get from him is silence. and it’s killing me inside I’m really hurt I wish I saw this earlier to hear your advice today.
"If your ex reaches out it is okay to reciprocate" should be the title of this video, any how is going 12 months no contact and I have fallen out of love and on to better things, should the ex reach out I am not taking her back....i needed this detachment..it was very unhealthy for me and my mental wellbeing
This is just too much. No contact, then do contact. Pull back, but then don’t pull back too much. Smile but don’t smile too much. Sounds like to many games to me. Why can’t you just be honest instead of playing these mind games. Playing these games, will cost your relationship and your future with them. Just be honest and upfront. If it’s suppose to be, it will be. All of this is confusing, and can cause more harm trying to do or be something you’re not. Just be transparent with them, let them know how you feel, and if it’s meant to be it will be. If you didn’t think they were of value or deserving, you wouldn’t have given them the opportunity to be your partner to begin with. Just my two cents. Especially since everyone operates differently. My ex is completely different than most men, so these tactics, games, and strategies will not work on him.
My ex n I broke up 3 months ago, we’ve talk and met up sometimes and he was still hurt and upset about the things I’ve said after the breakup. We’ve only done at least a week no contact since then and he broke it. We spoke this Monday and he told me that he still healing from the things I said and that he don’t see a future with me. I told him if he truly believes that and want nothing to do with me to block and delete my number. He said okay, we slept together the night before he left. In the next day I sent him a little text to see if he blocked me, he didn’t. I’m applying no contact now hoping that’s going to give him sometime to heal from the hurtful things I said to him.
I had this interesting thought that was confirmed through a video I saw a few days ago...When a relationship starts with all the excitement and it feels like it's "the relationship ",when the excitement fizzles out,I believe that is when the relationship is actually starting it's permanent beautiful journey. The problem is people think it's a sign that they have fallen out of love. People give up so easy on love these days. If one truly falls inlove,there is no way you can fall out of love...If you feel you don't love that person anymore, you actually never loved that person in the first place. Hooking up after a breakup without knowing where you actually stand is an unhealthy place to be. You are both adults and should be straightforward with how you both feel about each other. One of you is in it for a good time and the other is in it for the long time. The answer lies in who initiated the horizontal dance...
My ex came back and we hit it off for 3 months, and she told me she loves me. Then she backed away (she’s avoidant) and said we should just pursue with caution and play it by ear. Pretty sure she was also dating another guy casually. Since then, she’s told me she thinks we need to move on completely 3 different times, but she isn’t serious with anyone.
No contact is ONLY good for realizing that you definitely are NOT in love , NOR do you love your ex partner. You never walk away from the person you love. Only love defeats evil so figure if everybody is into "let them go" motto and thats what everybody is doing think how much evil is winning between good and bad. I repeat, NEVER LET GO OF YOUR LOVE.You think Jesus ever walked away from Love? It stops the flow of love throughout the world and these days i can tell.
My ex is falling for the rebound. We were together for five years. Just last summer she told me I was her soulmate, now I don't even exist in her life.
Move on! But remember this. They always come back. You just wont want them when they do. Move on and be the King you were meant to be! Trust me I''m going through it now to bro. Fight through it. When you start remembering and hurting go straight to the gym. Put in the work out music (eye of the Tiger for me LOL) and wear yourself out. Then go home exhausted and rest then wake up and do it again the next day. You will never forget but you will get to a point where it gets numb and you're able to go and daily without thinking of them. Once the relief stage passes they will start to re-think their decision. Granted you we're not some abusive a-hole or something :) Hold your head! Peace King!
Hi Coach blac, I follow your series on RUclips and must say you are amazing and your teachings work like magic. I went on NC with my ex and he reached out to me countlessly to check up and to ask for meetings of which we met thrice and hooked up and recently? The last time we met? I got to know that he wants to start a new relationship and is considering one guy and one girl he is presently hooking up with and he spoke highly about them and wants to make a decision on who to go with this week coming, as he is bi and we were together for almost 5 years. We even got into a brief argument concerning him saying as a bi guy? He cannot just be with one gender sexually and that it’s impossible but I kept telling him that it was not and I we had a back and forth and I left his place and he sent a message to me that he is setting me free and that we were having a back and forth again and all he wanted was peace and that I can do whatever I want and hopes I find love again. What can I do?
On the other videos you said to text them back and show no fear of losing and wishing them good life. And know u saying to make a time and meet when she reaching out
Well..I messed up. He reached out maybe 4 or 5 days into no contact. There was alot of hot and cold from him. He ended up losing his job and had a near family death so he requested I come see him. I did bc I do love him considerably. We spent an hour just talking and laughing. We kissed and hugged and I left (although we also hugged and kissed at the end of the breakup which became a mutual thing but more so me just giving it to him) then he had another bad night not long after saying he missed me and he wanted to see me. I tried to initiate a time but then he canceled last minute so I went back into no contact. I ended up leaving the country and his last text to me was no matter how I felt about us and the future to keep him updated. At this point I felt severaly breadcrumbed with the whole hot and cold stuff so I just didn't respond. I had asked previous to this with all the reach out what his intention was and he said he didn't know. And then I ignored that last sweet message...it's been 30 days since then. I doubt I will ever hear from him again but either way I hope he is happy and whole🖤
It's been 10.5 weeks and he's been trying to get my attention by actions on line, and trying to befriend mutual people he couldn't stand before. Because he knows I hang out with them. I'm going to finally "bump" into him. As my sign I'm open to let him contact me.
Move on. Once she left, the bond is broken. No contact is for yourself, it’s not to hopefully she comes back one day bullshit! Have some integrity for yourselves.
Hmm how so? I do not say not to do the no contact rule, just don’t miss opportunities when your ex comes around. If they are showing high interest, that is the time to take action without fearing rejection
Me my ex split up like 5 mouths ago as a man I was taught that the man Pursue the female I have done the no contact I tried pursuing her but no Interest she hated me she also a taurus after not showing any interest I stop trying just working on myself now
If we’ve been in no contact for almost 10 months, separated for a year and he had a new gf that was a mutual friend within a week of us “breaking up” BUT we’re technically still married, should I just give up hope entirely and just get the divorce after we were and technically still are married for over 10 years?
What do you do if you were the one dumped and they are in a new relationship and tell you on numerous times they unhappy and come knocking on your door. You’ve hung out a few times but every time they are “good” in their relationship they sort of ghost you. They say they miss you and are open to an “us” in the future but are still in an unhealthy relationship. 😕
This channel does talk about a final “hail mary” (what I thought this video might be about) but there are still some other things to consider when doing this Hail-Mary
hello coach. its now a little over a month of nc, and my ex has reached two times, one time just saing how are you, and now asking me if i was home. in witch i responden "no im on vacation" followed by a response saing "oh okay, never mind then" is this a good sign or is she just playing with me? i appreciate all you have done for me, thank you
What if he cheated. I'm not reaching out even though I love him. He has not tried to say sorry or explain. I know he is enjoying that other person. Man this hurts. It's been three weeks and last we he messaged me saying see about getting money of the cruise we were supposed to go on . I message back and just said okay I will check into. I need this feeling to go away
Hey coach I completely understand what you mean by initiating whenever the opportunity presents itself however, what if you know there’s a 3rd party involved and that she’s not only knocking when she’s bored or want her cake and eat it too? Me and her discussed setting a date recently to talk on the phone and catch-up but the night we were supposed to talk she hit me with the “I was going to call you but I’m sleepy now” and went back to living her life. I didn’t respond and I left her on read due to frustration and disappointment 😢 this has been one of the challenges I’ve been facing ever since she broke up with me and me being in NC. Would you please be willing to explain what I should do in situations like this
*So she dumped me but indirectly hitting me up as she's already posted a profile on a dating website! What is it all about? She now even speaks like she has an abundance of men! Why do people do this and they don't just move on?*
What if them reaching out is extremely low effort (essentially breadcrums)? My ex sent me memes twice during no contact. We had some back and forth but she didn't even ask me about my life or anything like that.
Question..we wete in no contact for a week and half. He texted me and ask what i was doing sleep(at 3am) i respond.."i was". He says "k"😏 so i didn't respond. Then he responded 10 min later and said...i thought about you and was going to come over but were definitely done..no need to text back its definitely over😢So now as of today its been exactly a month and i heard nothing from him. Only thing he done.. i caught him ride by my house twice. So not sure what's going to happen now. And i literally dream about him every night.
At the moment we were still together but just kind of distant bc previous argument. I also dreamed after he texted that he was going to text..then 2 weeks ago i dreamed he texted again then just 2 days ago i dreamed he texted again. Idk if its because thats what i want or what. But usually my dreams come true in a day to a week. These dreams taking forever to make me think it will not happen. @blacademic
I was the one who broke up with my boyfriend and later regretted it. Now I want him back, he still some what responds to my text messages but he’s very vague. Is there a video for my particular circumstance?
Coach.. hoping you’ll reply to this. my ex just dumped me 3 days ago. We been living together, even engaged, planned a wedding and all, to end up breaking up due to some heavy arguments. I have abandonment issues, I couldn’t accept it. Been watching your videos ever since the breakup, but it’s very hard to do No Contact. I been reaching out since day one till today. I got drunk tonight , texted and called him but he wont answer and i even went to his apartment and leave a short note letter saying ‘i’m sorry, i love you and please forgive me’. I went back home and just feeling the lowest thinking that he might think im super crazy and all. 😢 What should i do? I really love him and i still believe in our relationship. I believe that he did love me very much before. Please help me. Been crying since the breakup and im really helpless! I love him so much, I can’t even imagine living the lives without him.
My ex text me last week after 5 months no contact, we had a really great date a couple of days ago. Should I text him to organise a second date or should I let him chase me since he was the one who broke things off?
So if she’s already reached out and said she missed me and thinks about me every day but in the same convo said she still doesn’t think it’s a good idea that we talk what do I do in this situation . I never offered to meet but I did hint at it saying it would be nice to see you and she responded with I’d love to in a month or two when we’re fully healed. Haven’t heard from since and this was 8 days ago . I’m just wondering if I should initiate the next text or just wait for her to text me again
I have been on no contact for 1 year 3 month after a relationship of 1year 6 month, but I still have the feeling for her, the major problem in our relationship is that she listens to her friend and she doesn’t have respect anymore like before since her friend start coming to me house. From my observation I can see her friend is jealous of her but I keep telling her that I don’t want to see her friend in my house for sometime she keep upset, because of that I left her but I still communicate with her mom and her siblings I just want to discipline her if she can changes coach? From your experience what’s the way forward.
Hey coach, was looking for advice I've recently been dumped out the blue when I thought everything was great on both sides, I'm struggling, but she said she won't change her mind and we haven't spoke since the breakup, I'm just in so much shock, is there a way back ? Thanks
Been about a little over a year, I screwed up after the initial 60 days (we broke up back in September of '22). At that point I recognized if I kept pursuing, I would have made her recognize that I'd learned nothing. I went full NC afterwards, removed her from my social media, no friends, no stories, no nothing.
Hi coach, I have a question. I have avoidant ex, we lived together for a year, moved out 3 months ago not having a reason, talked few times and agreed to start dating but he didn’t reach out on that date and I stopped contacting, it’s been two months since then, my question is can I reach out at any time ? I genuinely love him and want him back, I appreciate your input and advice!
@blacademic What if the only direct reach out was 6 weeks ago saying they missed me and hoped i could forgive them and then 2 indirect messages a few weeks apart when they pretended they sent an "accidental" message? Breadcrumbs im whici I ignored but now it's been almost a month and nothing at all. Even tho its been a while and it wasn't direct, should i reach out? I think she took it as if i rejected her when i ignored the breadcrumbs. I'm hurting bad missing her and confused. What do I do now? Thank you. Great channel.
He’s called me once every week. I’m in NCT. I want him to value me and to start anew. Setting all my boundaries that are non negotiable. What are your thoughts? I’m happy he’s is not a texting person when we’re not talking.
Hi Coach! My ex broke up with me. He text me on 12/07, 12/24 and 01/02 The 3rd text I asked him if he was available that day to meet up? He said he wasn’t available. He text right back and said let’s get together soon. I said sounds great! He hearted the text. I haven’t heard from him since? What does that mean? I noticed today on FB that he unblocked me. I had deleted him when we broke up bcuz it was too much for me to handle so he blocked me but today I noticed I was unblocked on FB. What does that mean? My birthday is on Sunday 2/18 will he call or text me?
I hear you, but me reaching out to him is a no no. I’m sticking to the NC for me so I can focus on my mental and spiritual wellbeing. I hope he does the same for himself. I still love him and I know he loves me but he has trauma he has to deal with.
Me to sis fawk em what's meant to be will be especially if it was a long term relationship..... If he can forget me after 4 yrs then so be it 😂good luck sis 🤞
This sure hits home. I acknowledged my issues and have been doing the work, but she thinks she has no work to do. Still reaches out regularly, and I'm always super conflicted about what to say, or whether I want to keep doing this. It's hell.
"Scarcity creates value." Boom.
Watch the video through to get the FULL context. Do not break no contact if you are the dumpee.
The video explains mainly what to do when the dumper reaches out. Especially when looking at the masculine essence in the relationship.
After the dumper reaches out, how do you move things to where YOU want it to go without chasing them
👏👏👏
what if i'm the reason that's why we broke up? because of disrespect and anger. can you make a video about it?
No contact gives me peace
Agreed 💯
Agreed
I aint never going back. I am never gonna chase. Sure Its hurts. But It will hurt more if i let her do this again to me.
Narcissistic people are not avoiding us, they are avoiding accountability for what they do and how their actions affect us.
I feel this^
The last 5 minutes, EXTRA IMPORTANT information on how to handle things. ❤
Oh my goodness, it works! My guy and myself are back on track again! I thought we were done but communication is KEY!
How long did it take him to reach out to you?
@@xannecorinnex things between us had been ongoing for a while, meaning not speaking. He reached out around my birthday (Dec) to wish me a beautiful day and that he missed me. I responded nicely but didn't really feel totally secure. They're was no more communication at that point until recently on Valentine's Day that's when we had a very serious heart to heart. A lot of it was miscommunication for both of us. I'm still taking things very slowly to make sure that we're both doing the right thing and so far I feel we are. Time will tell...
One thing we both know for sure is that we love each other!
Can you describe your situation?
I will definitely give an update, I have a very busy schedule during the day. Later on this evening I will definitely reply. Thanks!
I had given an update, it's deleted, not sure what happened 🤷♀️
Updates please? 🙌 also, yes communication is important but •comprehension• is MOST important 😉
I don’t want him back. I truly know my worth and he never deserved me or my time🙏🏾✌🏾💪🏾
Period same sis fawk em
@@SkylarMangun You already know 🥰💪🏾‼️
Yes 🙌
@@Usernameblankslate 🥰🙏🏾
think about da d sis
It's that "you have to get what you want" vs "if it's meant to be then it will happen" and that was where I struggled. But there's always a power dynamic. Breaking NC often exemplifies their reasoning in breaking up with you.
I broke no contact and reached out after a year and half but it put me on that "lower pedestal hierearchy" because it gives them the impression that you are nothing without them. That you're weak and they're all that you're thinking about even if you have your life in check in all areas - job, school, family, friends, status, etc.
Personally the relationship will flow better when the dumper reaches out but sometimes you can't deal with avoidants.
Watch the video, I am not saying you should break no contact first. This is ALWAYS after they reach out to you
@@blacademicUnfortunately most of the time avoidants won't reach out first. They're convinced that there's always something wrong with others but NEVER with them.
@@ninaziva4639 not necessary. They will when they will feel save and they have a high interest level.
They are not chasing but they will reach out.
It can be different when the dynamic in your relationship was more that the non avoidant chased.
There are severel reasons, but it doesnt mean that they wont reach out.
wow, I think there should be a timelimit of chasing. If nothing happens within the first 6 month, you have lost the battle and should move on.
Maybe, you finally should move on.
@@DeaDellaFortunaAn avoidant I was involved with reached out after 7 months. Then ran again after 3. It's a cycle.
Its been 3 months now, I improved SO Much, lost so much weight.. got a nice job (before no job) i m... I m getting so much stronger. I start to feel more secure. I wanna be 100% secure tho before I reach out. I wanna get my license, I wanna buy a car, I wanna have a six pack (those are material things but I want them FOR ME, cause I always wanted it). If i m confident in myself. I want her back. She loved me. I felt it but she knew i wouldnt be able to change anything and she was right. I needed it to happen.
Did She broke up with u...?
When you will achieve all that you will not need her anymore :)
@@alex_skyddoesnt feel like i need her anymore its more like giving her the Chance and me aswell to grt to know esch other again when i m actually my self. Its hard to explain cause u obv dont know my whole back Story. But u are def right
I’m glad you are working on yourself. I’m sure she still has love for you, but these things happen for a reason. You seem to be learning from it and it’s more than most people can say. Good for you.
Thank you for your words. I learned ton of it, honestly my life had a 180 turn - it feels good to actually get forward in life. I never felt as good in my body as now and i m not even close to what i wanna achieve with my body. Same goes for other things in life. Its just weird to see on a rational side that she kinda had no choice. Because if she stood, then i d be still the same. I needed that. Eventho I never wanted it. I m still not ready but I think if i m becoming stable then ... idk she was the right person @@Usernameblankslate
Man I’m so thankful that Coach is making these videos. He is helping me more than he could ever know
Today I finally gaveup on getting my ex back . I’m exhausted , haven’t slept well for 2 months . Now I’m working on moving on . My heart hurts . I have accepted and made peace with my heart . If someone knows any methods of moving on please help . Being a man I have responsibilities which I’m not able to fulfill . No one understands my pain not even my family . Never thought loving someone truely would be this painful .
The pain leaves when it’s done teaching you!
Sameeee 🎉🎉🎉
Make a list of 101 goals and start working on them! That will make you occupied and even give you a boost of confidence and motivation. In the meantime you will heal and you will notice a change in your perspective of that person.
Find hobbies my guy. Takes your mind off of things and you can meet new people. Been 3 months for me and it does get easier, but you'll still have cloudy days. Just keep swimming and working on you. Cry when you have to, wipe the tears and keep swimming.
@@jovangarcia532 Thankyou SOO much ! I’m on it 🫂
One method that I found to work is to. Yes, initiate and maintain no contact. But that doesn't mean no contact completely. Give them 5 or 10 days to themselves to think. Reach out once, don't be pushy to say. Hey, I've been thinking about you. I've been wondering you know. Would you like to meet up for coffee and converse? Whether they say something or not have that small conversation or not, and move on for 4 or 5 10 days if this repeats for a month Or 2 months and they don't say anything. It's really a time to move on. You need to give them the entire in space but you also need to reassure them that. Hey, I'm here. I care you're interested in them will create interest in you but to pour your power out. Every single time you talk to them is going to push them away. You have to meet in the middle. We're all human. We all miss. We all desire and we all deserve.
And every couple and relationship is 100% different.
Well, as far as I understood it, everyone is going to some phases of separation. The one who left you, doesnt realise that you are gone as he first is in the relief phase. He/she/it feels empowered and shows NO Interest level. Contacting now just would do 2 thinks:
1. he/she/it wont realise that you are gone as you still stick around
2. you confirm with your action that he/she/it does the right thing.
Moreover, you do not generate the needed interest level.
this phase everyone is going trough. The difference only is the time every person needs for every phase.
Therefore, you really shouldnt commuicate during at least the first month. However, I struggle, if there are committments like children and flatt etc.
I respect your videos. i do enjoy them. On this one, i disagree. Some people are just cold-hearted and selfish. They don't want to accept accountability for their actions of the part that they played to cause the break up to take place, nor were they willing to fix it while you were still in the relationship with them. That's a person who is showing you that the relationship for whatever reason has ran it's course 💯. We need to face reality, which is the hardest thing that the relationship is over, and that person didn't love you as much as you thought that they did. Not all the time, no contact works, and i can testify to that in getting back involved with that person. That person already has their mind made up that you were the worst person they ever met all because they don't want to accept accountability for their own actions. They don't acknowledge the good times that you had nor when you went up and beyond for them. All they remember is how you told them flat out how you felt and what you needed from the relationship that they just didn't care to do.
Agreed
Agreed
How about y'all wait to watch the video first before assuming
Naw they are too angry for that 😂 they are looking for a landing spot for their anger, hurt and misery! I was doing “no contact” but my wife and I are separated, not divorced! It wasn’t working for me because there are signs we can reconcile so no contact wasn’t working for me! Plus faith is belief AND action…
Same but all that separates you and others is a piece of paper. No contact works. Here’s why… It allows you to disconnect and THEN see the big picture, clearer.
No contact worked for me, I made and still make changes I realizes I needed to evolve. Things I thought I worked on. But he has expressed interest again so it did work as far as attraction increasing.
Ok
@@Originalman360and you’re the man. Men pursue.
You teach very well.
Everything you say makes sense and is well balanced. Both keeping dignity and also respectfully seize opportunity with intelligence
It’s been nearly 2 months since she dumped me and her last words were “we both needs to move on as we both deserve”. She appears to have moved on. I’ve been in no contact, but she has unfriended me on all social platforms and probably blocked my number. I’ve lost 25 pounds since breakup. I’m anxious, she’s a DA. I don’t think she will have a change of heart.
This information was ever helpful, but it’s been 2 months and 3 days and I’m at 19 days on N/C…. I believe myself it’s to early to break no contact
Do not break no contact if THEY have not reached out to you first. Please watch the whole video. Don’t set yourself back by breaking no contact unprovoked
Wow now no contact my ex said she moved on in I should to
Now she want to be friends
Im sure Coach knows what he's talking about, i believe we r reading the title wrong
Now my ex want to be friends so werid I said yeah but I don’t want to
This is maybe relevant for guys but not ladies. If your ex boyfriend (dumper) reaches out several times, as a woman you don't help him by offering a meet up or anything, nor do you say "let me know if you change your mind" : do not helps men (dumpers) to put you on the shelf and back burner. Especially if your dumper is avoidant attached or emotionally unavailable. If you position yourself like that, you set yourself up for ever breadcrumbs potentially. Coach I think you underestimate how male dumpers will reach out over months and even years to their exes, (and no, not within one month like you suggest, but more scattered reach outs), because they are still undecided, confused and like the validation.
Agreed completely. Even though I was the dumper and my ex boyfriend the dumpee he broke promises and did some pretty shitty things towards the end of our relationship. If you're a woman who broke up with a guy due to bad behavior/unchanged behavior or some betrayal then I don't think opening up the space for him to send breadcrumbs of insincere remorse is the ticket. This advice works if a relationship was more or less good but stuff like timing, lack of alignment or different goals pulled you guys apart. And even then in some cases these relationships come to and end and should stay that way. Reconnecting? Maybe. Getting back together? Probably not.
I see cats for your future ladies and that's ok.
@robicelus I see you don't understand that isn't an insult anymore lol
@@nicoleevaherbst7306 you're right dear. Cats need loving too
@@nicoleevaherbst7306 you are right dear. Cats need loving too
I JUST had the thought that synchronicities are happening to me and like attracts like etc. The literal MOMENT you said you have a plane flying over you i looked up and saw a plane flying over me walking home rn. I CACKLED 😂✨️
No contact let me don’t have to deal with a delusional individual immaturity disrespect and it bring me peace ☮️
I am the woman who was dumped. He pursued me for a year and a half after totally loving him for a year next month he wanted to marry then all of a sudden before valentine's day he said we are done. I am devastated but no way am i going to reach out to him. Unfortunately i have to see him at a hospital where i go for a brief time everyday so he still visually sees me but wont speak or text. 😢
Im trying to attract my wife and family back I first thought experience in our marriage she runs out and it's was something that could be fixed I'm just hoping I get another chance with her again
Good luck, bud. I'm in the same boat
I chased on and off for almost 2 months post break up.. she’s severely avoidant. We hooked up after I broke NC the first time. Now 3 months post break up. 3 weeks back in full no contact. She keeps randomly unblocking me on IG for a day or two then reblocking. It’s happened two or three times now. She always has a story posted. I’ve never looked. I’m not feeding in to her. Those small signs make me feel good. Even if they shouldn’t and it’s not a big enough reason. At least I know she has feelings. Whatever they may be.
My ex also unblocked me on ig but never has reached out or seen my stories so I’m not sure what I should do
My situations a little different. We have been together for 1 year and 9 months, almost 2 years. He has been legally separated for 2 years and his divorce is final at the end of this month.... He said he has been fighting hate in his heart the past couple weeks and needs to work on himself alone... He said hes not looking for anyone or anything different and doesn't know if this is the right decision and is leaving it up to God to lead him in the right direction. Our relationship was great, but a few things were not ideal at the moment. He did get in his head from time to time and would go silent and I know that would upset him.
He just asked me to please let him go and let things work out they way they are meant to. It's only been a day, and im strong enough not to reach out to him, but it's not what I want, and it is so hard... I know in my heart it's not what he wants. Any advice would be so helpful ❤
@coachblac
My wife and i are temporarily separated and doing no contact we have 2 boys. We set a date from the gate to meet up to see where we stand. What are your thoughts was that the right thing to due? By setting a date prior to going into our no contact
Every video i watch of yours i end up liking! My new relationship coach. Subscribed!
🙏
An EX is an EX for a reason. What split yall up will always come back at some point. Please make a video about moving on, self improvement and how to be ready for the next relationship at the right time. I love your content but why is it always about an EX and not the next chapter of life
Well, during no contact you are suppossed to work on yourself (aka self improvement) otherwise you will have trouble to get your ex anyway.
And there are several reasons for a break up eg depression or overwhelmness- why should you end a more or less good relationship because of temporary issues? Nontheless, there are ppl who will always fight for love- this way they are able to proceed better (for a next relationship).
Key point 19:15 .... that’s the crux to understand
My brother from Nigeria 🇳🇬 you are very right ▶️ of this issue ⚠️
My bro! 🤞🏿
I have read in many articles that avoidants never reach out even if they miss you. They expect you to chase them even if they are the dumper. What should I do in this?
Same question from me! My ex gf is an avoidant but I can’t chase her after she broke up with me. She needs to do most of the work
Why should you pursue someone who left you in the first place? You showed them how much you loved them but they left anyway. If anyone one should be doing the pursuing then it's your ex. And if they choose not to, then you forget about them and move on.
Tell em why your mad Son 😂😂😂 u know u can simply NOT follow this page right? You know u can simply keep it moving right? I never understood folks blasting people on their own page but yet you made the choice to click on his page! Goofy 💩
6:25
EXCATELY and manipulators & narcissistic people have no heart they are cold. They also have double standards best to keep it moving!!
Unfortunately life and relationships aren’t black and white. Women expect men to pursue. And sometimes women break up because they want to feel like the man cares enough to put his pride aside and go after her. Believe me, it baffles me too
My advice coming from my experience just move on it's a peaceful feeling when u surrender to the loss of them there is healing power in letting go just like death we all gotta go at some point let go
I watched all your videos and as hard as it was of not talking to him I still maintained my distance… today I tried to reach out but I get from him is silence. and it’s killing me inside I’m really hurt
I wish I saw this earlier to hear your advice today.
Update?
Ooooh lunch break about to be FIRE! Coach Blac trolling us now!? 🤣🤣🤣
lol watch the video, my philosophy has not, and will not change. No Contact certainly works
@@blacademic I was there for the live, you're the best at what you do Coach :)
I was so shock when i saw the Title of this video that i had to sit and listen😂😂😂😂 to it
Coach….Mr. Stylin and Profilin! 👍 Spittin facts and looking great doing it. Have a great weekend. ☺️
🤞🏿
Don't do this. Reach out if you're the dumper, yes, but then just let them do their thing.
Did you watch the video?
Bro you got me confused
Come to my live tonight! Definitely watch the whole video first. But come to the live. 7PM CST
You are amazing man. The way you present and explain is great value for me...
OHHHHH FRESH CUT, FRESH CAMERA 🔥🔥
Hey coach it's Issac sorry I showed up late but you're advice has helped me a lot and really changed my perspective I appreciate you
Great to hear man! Keep it going 🙏
"If your ex reaches out it is okay to reciprocate" should be the title of this video, any how is going 12 months no contact and I have fallen out of love and on to better things, should the ex reach out I am not taking her back....i needed this detachment..it was very unhealthy for me and my mental wellbeing
This is just too much. No contact, then do contact. Pull back, but then don’t pull back too much. Smile but don’t smile too much. Sounds like to many games to me. Why can’t you just be honest instead of playing these mind games. Playing these games, will cost your relationship and your future with them. Just be honest and upfront. If it’s suppose to be, it will be. All of this is confusing, and can cause more harm trying to do or be something you’re not. Just be transparent with them, let them know how you feel, and if it’s meant to be it will be. If you didn’t think they were of value or deserving, you wouldn’t have given them the opportunity to be your partner to begin with. Just my two cents. Especially since everyone operates differently. My ex is completely different than most men, so these tactics, games, and strategies will not work on him.
Tbh no contact is not for all
My ex n I broke up 3 months ago, we’ve talk and met up sometimes and he was still hurt and upset about the things I’ve said after the breakup. We’ve only done at least a week no contact since then and he broke it. We spoke this Monday and he told me that he still healing from the things I said and that he don’t see a future with me. I told him if he truly believes that and want nothing to do with me to block and delete my number. He said okay, we slept together the night before he left. In the next day I sent him a little text to see if he blocked me, he didn’t. I’m applying no contact now hoping that’s going to give him sometime to heal from the hurtful things I said to him.
I had this interesting thought that was confirmed through a video I saw a few days ago...When a relationship starts with all the excitement and it feels like it's "the relationship ",when the excitement fizzles out,I believe that is when the relationship is actually starting it's permanent beautiful journey. The problem is people think it's a sign that they have fallen out of love. People give up so easy on love these days. If one truly falls inlove,there is no way you can fall out of love...If you feel you don't love that person anymore, you actually never loved that person in the first place. Hooking up after a breakup without knowing where you actually stand is an unhealthy place to be. You are both adults and should be straightforward with how you both feel about each other. One of you is in it for a good time and the other is in it for the long time. The answer lies in who initiated the horizontal dance...
My ex came back and we hit it off for 3 months, and she told me she loves me. Then she backed away (she’s avoidant) and said we should just pursue with caution and play it by ear. Pretty sure she was also dating another guy casually. Since then, she’s told me she thinks we need to move on completely 3 different times, but she isn’t serious with anyone.
No contact is ONLY good for realizing that you definitely are NOT in love , NOR do you love your ex partner. You never walk away from the person you love. Only love defeats evil so figure if everybody is into "let them go" motto and thats what everybody is doing think how much evil is winning between good and bad. I repeat, NEVER LET GO OF YOUR LOVE.You think Jesus ever walked away from Love? It stops the flow of love throughout the world and these days i can tell.
Im sure he will explain the exceptions in which this is applicable..
My ex is falling for the rebound. We were together for five years. Just last summer she told me I was her soulmate, now I don't even exist in her life.
MOVE ON
Move on! But remember this. They always come back. You just wont want them when they do. Move on and be the King you were meant to be! Trust me I''m going through it now to bro. Fight through it. When you start remembering and hurting go straight to the gym. Put in the work out music (eye of the Tiger for me LOL) and wear yourself out. Then go home exhausted and rest then wake up and do it again the next day. You will never forget but you will get to a point where it gets numb and you're able to go and daily without thinking of them. Once the relief stage passes they will start to re-think their decision. Granted you we're not some abusive a-hole or something :) Hold your head! Peace King!
As a woman, offer that you move on. Take all that energy and rebuild yourself. Learn the spiritual hermit path. Your heart will guide you.
Same fawk em
we’re back in contact and she’s initiating conversations and calls
Are you setting in person meet ups?
@@blacademic i plan on asking her in a few days, i don’t want to move too quickly we’ve only been in communication a few days
Hi Coach blac, I follow your series on RUclips and must say you are amazing and your teachings work like magic. I went on NC with my ex and he reached out to me countlessly to check up and to ask for meetings of which we met thrice and hooked up and recently? The last time we met? I got to know that he wants to start a new relationship and is considering one guy and one girl he is presently hooking up with and he spoke highly about them and wants to make a decision on who to go with this week coming, as he is bi and we were together for almost 5 years. We even got into a brief argument concerning him saying as a bi guy? He cannot just be with one gender sexually and that it’s impossible but I kept telling him that it was not and I we had a back and forth and I left his place and he sent a message to me that he is setting me free and that we were having a back and forth again and all he wanted was peace and that I can do whatever I want and hopes I find love again. What can I do?
On the other videos you said to text them back and show no fear of losing and wishing them good life. And know u saying to make a time and meet when she reaching out
After my 20 days i realize i don't want her back
Well..I messed up. He reached out maybe 4 or 5 days into no contact. There was alot of hot and cold from him. He ended up losing his job and had a near family death so he requested I come see him. I did bc I do love him considerably. We spent an hour just talking and laughing. We kissed and hugged and I left (although we also hugged and kissed at the end of the breakup which became a mutual thing but more so me just giving it to him) then he had another bad night not long after saying he missed me and he wanted to see me. I tried to initiate a time but then he canceled last minute so I went back into no contact. I ended up leaving the country and his last text to me was no matter how I felt about us and the future to keep him updated. At this point I felt severaly breadcrumbed with the whole hot and cold stuff so I just didn't respond. I had asked previous to this with all the reach out what his intention was and he said he didn't know. And then I ignored that last sweet message...it's been 30 days since then. I doubt I will ever hear from him again but either way I hope he is happy and whole🖤
Coach, appreciate your wisdom! Are you able to do a sucess story series or two seperate episodes of these stories for each gender pls
It's been 10.5 weeks and he's been trying to get my attention by actions on line, and trying to befriend mutual people he couldn't stand before. Because he knows I hang out with them. I'm going to finally "bump" into him. As my sign I'm open to let him contact me.
Move on. Once she left, the bond is broken. No contact is for yourself, it’s not to hopefully she comes back one day bullshit! Have some integrity for yourselves.
this was such a plot twist: after all the NC rule was so strong.
Hmm how so? I do not say not to do the no contact rule, just don’t miss opportunities when your ex comes around. If they are showing high interest, that is the time to take action without fearing rejection
I don't think it is. It's more about how to progress beyond initial no contact, something most channels don't seem to address
Thank you 🙏
Love your videos and your coaching techniques but I’m sorry the title was very convoluted
Thanks for the feedback! I appreciate the honesty. Did you watch the video all the way through?
All of your videos add value. I did almost 1 months of no contact but I wished him
A happy Valentine’s Day and broke it 😥
Did he respond
@@michaelvokes921 nope 👎
@@misscooks601 well, than you start all over, dont worry.
Me my ex split up like 5 mouths ago as a man I was taught that the man Pursue the female I have done the no contact I tried pursuing her but no Interest she hated me she also a taurus after not showing any interest I stop trying just working on myself now
This is very helpful, thanks
If we’ve been in no contact for almost 10 months, separated for a year and he had a new gf that was a mutual friend within a week of us “breaking up” BUT we’re technically still married, should I just give up hope entirely and just get the divorce after we were and technically still are married for over 10 years?
What do you do if you were the one dumped and they are in a new relationship and tell you on numerous times they unhappy and come knocking on your door. You’ve hung out a few times but every time they are “good” in their relationship they sort of ghost you. They say they miss you and are open to an “us” in the future but are still in an unhealthy relationship. 😕
Im just gonna reach out in 6 months if i dont hear from her till then
This channel does talk about a final “hail mary” (what I thought this video might be about) but there are still some other things to consider when doing this Hail-Mary
My suiation so weird i dont known where to start but hummm dont want to get playied 😊
hello coach.
its now a little over a month of nc, and my ex has reached two times, one time just saing how are you, and now asking me if i was home. in witch i responden "no im on vacation" followed by a response saing "oh okay, never mind then" is this a good sign or is she just playing with me?
i appreciate all you have done for me, thank you
Sounds like he's teaching out
That makes a lot of sense you're right. But what about if she's already dating someone?
Nope. Do nothing unless she reaches out first
What if he cheated. I'm not reaching out even though I love him. He has not tried to say sorry or explain. I know he is enjoying that other person. Man this hurts. It's been three weeks and last we he messaged me saying see about getting money of the cruise we were supposed to go on . I message back and just said okay I will check into. I need this feeling to go away
Hey coach I completely understand what you mean by initiating whenever the opportunity presents itself however, what if you know there’s a 3rd party involved and that she’s not only knocking when she’s bored or want her cake and eat it too? Me and her discussed setting a date recently to talk on the phone and catch-up but the night we were supposed to talk she hit me with the “I was going to call you but I’m sleepy now” and went back to living her life. I didn’t respond and I left her on read due to frustration and disappointment 😢 this has been one of the challenges I’ve been facing ever since she broke up with me and me being in NC. Would you please be willing to explain what I should do in situations like this
*So she dumped me but indirectly hitting me up as she's already posted a profile on a dating website! What is it all about? She now even speaks like she has an abundance of men! Why do people do this and they don't just move on?*
She needs to reach out directly for sure. Like text or phone call
What if them reaching out is extremely low effort (essentially breadcrums)? My ex sent me memes twice during no contact. We had some back and forth but she didn't even ask me about my life or anything like that.
Ty! 💜🙏
Question..we wete in no contact for a week and half. He texted me and ask what i was doing sleep(at 3am) i respond.."i was". He says "k"😏 so i didn't respond. Then he responded 10 min later and said...i thought about you and was going to come over but were definitely done..no need to text back its definitely over😢So now as of today its been exactly a month and i heard nothing from him. Only thing he done.. i caught him ride by my house twice. So not sure what's going to happen now. And i literally dream about him every night.
He is using this to keep you under his control, either use iit in your favor or ignore him completely
Definitely do not respond to your ex’s texts at 3am in the morning. Even if you see it. You can wait till the next day
At the moment we were still together but just kind of distant bc previous argument. I also dreamed after he texted that he was going to text..then 2 weeks ago i dreamed he texted again then just 2 days ago i dreamed he texted again. Idk if its because thats what i want or what. But usually my dreams come true in a day to a week. These dreams taking forever to make me think it will not happen. @blacademic
@@abcdaamazoniaause to my favor by just giving short answers until I want to get back with him all the way orrrr??? Can you elaborate on that pls
Once you conquer the no contact rule, you'll win either way..
I was the one who broke up with my boyfriend and later regretted it. Now I want him back, he still some what responds to my text messages but he’s very vague. Is there a video for my particular circumstance?
Coach.. hoping you’ll reply to this.
my ex just dumped me 3 days ago. We been living together, even engaged, planned a wedding and all, to end up breaking up due to some heavy arguments. I have abandonment issues, I couldn’t accept it. Been watching your videos ever since the breakup, but it’s very hard to do No Contact. I been reaching out since day one till today. I got drunk tonight , texted and called him but he wont answer and i even went to his apartment and leave a short note letter saying ‘i’m sorry, i love you and please forgive me’. I went back home and just feeling the lowest thinking that he might think im super crazy and all. 😢
What should i do? I really love him and i still believe in our relationship. I believe that he did love me very much before. Please help me. Been crying since the breakup and im really helpless! I love him so much, I can’t even imagine living the lives without him.
What ...he has a wife but still I waited until I seen n realized he went to his rebound ex...😢😮...I'm still trying to figure this out
Can you do a video about working with an ex? We both are in new relationships but see eachother everyday and can’t get completely over eachother
Well sometimes people break up because of an argument not that they are not interested
My ex text me last week after 5 months no contact, we had a really great date a couple of days ago. Should I text him to organise a second date or should I let him chase me since he was the one who broke things off?
So if she’s already reached out and said she missed me and thinks about me every day but in the same convo said she still doesn’t think it’s a good idea that we talk what do I do in this situation . I never offered to meet but I did hint at it saying it would be nice to see you and she responded with I’d love to in a month or two when we’re fully healed. Haven’t heard from since and this was 8 days ago . I’m just wondering if I should initiate the next text or just wait for her to text me again
How am I supposed to respond if he wants us to talk then does not come back
I have been on no contact for 1 year 3 month after a relationship of 1year 6 month, but I still have the feeling for her, the major problem in our relationship is that she listens to her friend and she doesn’t have respect anymore like before since her friend start coming to me house. From my observation I can see her friend is jealous of her but I keep telling her that I don’t want to see her friend in my house for sometime she keep upset, because of that I left her but I still communicate with her mom and her siblings I just want to discipline her if she can changes coach? From your experience what’s the way forward.
What if the family mad at you specifically her daughter
Hey coach, was looking for advice I've recently been dumped out the blue when I thought everything was great on both sides, I'm struggling, but she said she won't change her mind and we haven't spoke since the breakup, I'm just in so much shock, is there a way back ? Thanks
Coach, it'll probably be a while before my Ex reaches out as she exhibits textbook signs of an avoidant attachment style.
How long have you been in full no contact? No mistakes, no watching stories, nothing?
Been about a little over a year, I screwed up after the initial 60 days (we broke up back in September of '22). At that point I recognized if I kept pursuing, I would have made her recognize that I'd learned nothing. I went full NC afterwards, removed her from my social media, no friends, no stories, no nothing.
It’s 11 🎉 let’s fucking hear this!
Hi coach, I have a question. I have avoidant ex, we lived together for a year, moved out 3 months ago not having a reason, talked few times and agreed to start dating but he didn’t reach out on that date and I stopped contacting, it’s been two months since then, my question is can I reach out at any time ? I genuinely love him and want him back, I appreciate your input and advice!
Break no contact only when the dumper has had reached out. If not, then stick to no contact until the contact happens from the dumper… correct?
Correct
I appreciate your response, Coach B…
@blacademic What if the only direct reach out was 6 weeks ago saying they missed me and hoped i could forgive them and then 2 indirect messages a few weeks apart when they pretended they sent an "accidental" message? Breadcrumbs im whici I ignored but now it's been almost a month and nothing at all. Even tho its been a while and it wasn't direct, should i reach out? I think she took it as if i rejected her when i ignored the breadcrumbs. I'm hurting bad missing her and confused. What do I do now? Thank you. Great channel.
He’s called me once every week. I’m in NCT. I want him to value me and to start anew. Setting all my boundaries that are non negotiable. What are your thoughts? I’m happy he’s is not a texting person when we’re not talking.
Maybe they are not worthy of being pursued! After breaking someone's heart and abandoning the person ,they can get stuffed!
Hi Coach! My ex broke up with me. He text me on 12/07, 12/24 and 01/02
The 3rd text I asked him if he was available that day to meet up? He said he wasn’t available. He text right back and said let’s get together soon. I said sounds great! He hearted the text. I haven’t heard from him since? What does that mean?
I noticed today on FB that he unblocked me. I had deleted him when we broke up bcuz it was too much for me to handle so he blocked me but today I noticed I was unblocked on FB. What does that mean? My birthday is on Sunday 2/18 will he call or text me?
Never go back
My ex works with me it's so hard.I have no contact with him.