Do men scholars want women to feel pain?

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  • Опубликовано: 2 фев 2025

Комментарии • 89

  • @kb4432
    @kb4432 2 месяца назад +14

    "And the pains of childbirth drove her to the trunk of a palm tree. She said, "Oh, I wish I had died before this and was in oblivion, forgotten."
    The Noble Quran (Surah Maryam verse 23)
    Our Majestic creator who created everything with hikmah (wisdom), chose to preserve the words of a pious lady, whom he chose to elevate above all women.

  • @AkhtarM28
    @AkhtarM28 2 месяца назад +63

    This is why women need to enter religious seminaries and become scholars. Because as long as “only” men are allowed to be scholars and give rulings on Islam, they are gonna create biased interpretations of our religion. It doesn’t help Muslims in general because men and women are connected in such a way that a father cannot escape the pain of his daughter and mothers feel the struggles of sons. We need to stop putting men against women. It only creates discord. Unfortunately, as far as I have seen men are very reluctant, even in the religious scholars community to acknowledge and stand up for Muslimahs. This needs to change and change fast. I think more and more women need to enter the profession of faqihs.

    • @BlackJack-lg3vx
      @BlackJack-lg3vx 2 месяца назад +3

      You can just become scholar 😅. You have to be recognized by other scholars then you will be a scholar. In the all history of Islam after the first three generations there were no female scholar. And it has been that way from the hikmah of Allah. Now your feminist saitanic mind thinks it’s bad if men are scholars. All prophets were man for a reason.

    • @shimmer4771
      @shimmer4771 2 месяца назад +7

      ​@@BlackJack-lg3vx she never said it's wrong for men to be scholars. Why're you saying this?

    • @noumiiidia
      @noumiiidia 2 месяца назад +2

      @@BlackJack-lg3vx well you said it yourself , after THREE generations , I think you should read about history about that specific period and who took control , female scholars weren't allowed for politic reasons and because it didn't benifit the ones who were in control , the same ones who wanted to harm the prohet's (salla allah alyhi wa salam) descendants and killed abu bake, omar, ali and othman ...

    • @Maimuna03
      @Maimuna03 2 месяца назад +5

      Who said that only men are allowed to be scholars? Aisha was the best woman scholar among both of men and women

    • @Maimuna03
      @Maimuna03 2 месяца назад +4

      And no real scholar said a biased interpretations about islam only the munafiq would change the words of allah and his messenger to satisfy his desires

  • @Fclwilson
    @Fclwilson 3 месяца назад +45

    I am not Muslim yet. I appreciate your work.

    • @AAslan-wd2ze
      @AAslan-wd2ze 2 месяца назад +6

      In sha Allah you will be muslim too Ameen Ameen Allahumma salli wa sallim wa barik ala sayyidina Muhammad wa ala alihi wa ashabihi ajmaeen

    • @Fclwilson
      @Fclwilson 2 месяца назад +9

      @ thank you very much. I’m going to negotiate taking some prayer times with my supervisor at work. I already show up at prayer times even though I do not know how to do Salah yet.

    • @c-baazb5668
      @c-baazb5668 Месяц назад +1

      I hope you find your way inshallah

    • @Fclwilson
      @Fclwilson Месяц назад +1

      @ thanks. I have been Muslimah for a little over three weeks. I am happy to have joined the deen.

    • @AAslan-wd2ze
      @AAslan-wd2ze Месяц назад

      @@Fclwilson masha Allah sister. Alhamdulillah. May Allah azza wa jall reward you and all of us with Jannatul Firdaws. Ameen And sorry for the late reply. 😣🫣

  • @somayaakter7074
    @somayaakter7074 3 месяца назад +27

    Thank you for explaining so beautifully this serious issue. I am from Bangladesh and where I see 80% women have to go Through c section for complicated issues either mother's life are in danger or child's which is regularly happening around us...
    Even my sister in law didn’t wish for c section but at last moment we had to take her hospital for the baby's safety...
    May Allah subhanallah tallulah Bless u...

  • @noumiiidia
    @noumiiidia 2 месяца назад +60

    I think that since women are the ones who give birth, so at leat we can chose how we give birth ! A c section is painful and a normal birth too , allah never ever said something about how yo give birth !!

    • @taehyungsabandonedshoes7625
      @taehyungsabandonedshoes7625 2 месяца назад +23

      Exactly. Why someone who never gave birth or experienced the struggles of woman dictate how woman should live , I don't get it ?

    • @kb4432
      @kb4432 2 месяца назад +2

      "And the pains of childbirth drove her to the trunk of a palm tree. She said, "Oh, I wish I had died before this and was in oblivion, forgotten."
      The Noble Quran (Surah Maryam verse 23)
      Our Majestic creator who created everything with hikmah (wisdom) chose to preserve the words of a pious lady, who he chose to honour above all women. Who are we to decide other than what Allah SWT has already destined for us

    • @noumiiidia
      @noumiiidia 2 месяца назад

      @@kb4432 did allah decided for us to live in pain ? i don't understand your comment ? there's nothing saying that women should give painfull childbirth or anything like that in the quoran , I as a muslim from a muslim country never heard of something like this until i heard it from convert muslims ... thoses ideas came with a lot of them

    • @kb4432
      @kb4432 2 месяца назад +2

      @@noumiiidia "Did Allah decide for us to live in pain". Yes my sister, pain is part of our life. It is written for us. We can try to limit it but we cannot take it completely out of our life. Choosing a C-section birth (without an important reason) can have long term effects on the health of mother and child in the future.

    • @Megaspinosaurusrex
      @Megaspinosaurusrex 2 месяца назад

      The only thing the verses show is Mother Mariam's state at the time.
      Childbirth is painful and Allah rewards women for their patience. It doesn't mean you have to suffer when you don't have to​@@kb4432

  • @mobiusloop1405
    @mobiusloop1405 2 месяца назад +3

    AsA,
    Discovered your videos recently, Jzk for being thorough and mentioning the need for context. I'm a Muslim guy and I've had my own religious trauma growing up and it was due to dogma and the absence of context- and the lingering ghost of colonization of the bacon bits, "swine in suits" as I like to say... and the big R word you used, "responsibility", which really needs to be put to the forefront of our Muslim communities.
    Insha'Allah I hope the Ummah is able to get the healing it so very much needs, unites and stands tall, proud. Ameen.

    • @Strandlights
      @Strandlights 2 месяца назад

      Akhi if you have the time, what are religious traumas Muslim men go through?

  • @_-FreePalestine-_
    @_-FreePalestine-_ 2 месяца назад +18

    C sections are necessary in certain situations and unnecessary+ cause needless complications in others. It's up to the woman and her doctor to decide which is best for her and to move forward with that. I agree that people have completely forgot about nuances and jump to the extreme whenever something is said. The sheik gave his answer based on context which people completely took out and made their own opinions based on them. Which is not only wrong but dangerous when it comes to forming your own beliefs about religious rights and wrongs.

  • @alexathecanadianconvert
    @alexathecanadianconvert 2 месяца назад +3

    Jazakallah khair. I definitely agree that the sheikh discouraging elective c-sections is not the same as calling all c-sections makhruh in general. Wild that the topic is even being debated! There are many emergency situations where a c-section is the only option for the safety of mother and/or child. Mothers shouldn't be made to feel guilty about that. 💖

  • @tiarasapp1410
    @tiarasapp1410 2 месяца назад +12

    Birth does not have to be painful, there are ways to make it significantly less painful or even pain free with or without medication. The same way how changing your diet can get rid of period cramps. Our bodies are amazing. Do your research please ladies. If your willing to do the research and work necessary to have a easy labor and birth, then inshallah you can have a less painful or pain free birth

    • @FluffyStackofPancakes
      @FluffyStackofPancakes 2 месяца назад +5

      I'm so glad someone said this. I studied pregnancy and infant development in university. Giving birth will always have some sort of pain at times, but if you are prepared, have a support system, and work with your body instead of against it, it doesn't have to be super painful. Water births have been amazing for so many women. Choosing to not lie down and instead stand or squat can really help (let gravity do some of the work!) I think it's super depressing to think of giving birth as something just painful. It's actually kind of amazing.

    • @tiarasapp1410
      @tiarasapp1410 2 месяца назад +5

      @ exactly thank you, I hate the narrative that birth is supposed to be very painful and we’re just supposed to accept that. It only presents the idea that there is nothing to prepare for except for excruciating pain, there are so many ways to significantly reduce pain both in preparation of labor while pregnant and during labor. An easy labor is 100% possible

    • @daebak_hana
      @daebak_hana 2 месяца назад

      Agree you can make the process easier but it's not ever gonna be a breeze anyway you do it. I had the easiest pregnancy and recovery but the actual birth was very painful ❤though very short.

    • @tiarasapp1410
      @tiarasapp1410 2 месяца назад +1

      @ no you can in fact make it a breeze. It has been done, there are many factors that go into making a breezy birth though

  • @anik.9215
    @anik.9215 2 месяца назад +17

    This is an area for doctors to discuss, not necessarily a Muslim scholar who is lacking context. There are many women who have chosen c-sections because vaginal birth scares them, but mortality with pregnancy has increased because c-section is not always better, it carries risk too. Recovery timeline is longer too. Seems to be some misunderstanding about pain, avoidance of pain, people making poor choices out of fear, greedy hospitals pushing c-sections, etc.

    • @shimmer4771
      @shimmer4771 2 месяца назад +1

      Sometimes, emergencies happen and they have no choice.

  • @StrawberrySparkle-o9n
    @StrawberrySparkle-o9n 2 месяца назад +1

    Jazakallah khairan my sister, love you for the sake of Allah.

  • @kb4432
    @kb4432 2 месяца назад +6

    Abu Huraira reported: The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Nothing afflicts a Muslim of hardship, nor illness, nor anxiety, nor sorrow, nor harm, nor distress, nor even the pricking of a thorn, but that Allah will expiate his sins by it.”
    Source: Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī 5641, Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 2573
    Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim

    • @Strandlights
      @Strandlights 2 месяца назад

      Doesn't mean you should seek pain unnecessarily, that what's you mean too right?

  • @cheryl7095
    @cheryl7095 2 месяца назад +4

    Pain is subjective and we all have different thresholds. Both my natural births were horrendously painful… there is nothing like it… my third was via c section because I couldn’t face the pain that would come. I was trumatised. I can say comparing both that c section is not a walk in the park and recovery is extremely challenging and is not without risk. C section just allows you to control your pain to some degree . But again this varies from woman to woman. You know your body and what you can handle and men need to listen without judgement.

  • @fp7911
    @fp7911 3 месяца назад +9

    Well said Maryam.

  • @manijhaparsa
    @manijhaparsa 2 месяца назад +5

    My dear sister I love you so much!!! You remind me of my little sister. Thank you for your work. Hopefully one day we’ll see each other. Inn Shaa Allah

  • @deedeee6271
    @deedeee6271 3 месяца назад +12

    I saw the post and it was wild. I just don't know why we are in this place as a community.

  • @IslamicMarriageCoach
    @IslamicMarriageCoach 2 месяца назад +1

    Beautiful explanation 💜💜

  • @michp571
    @michp571 2 месяца назад +19

    The vagina is meant to accommodate having a baby go through it, they have to cut through (7?) layers of the stomach to take a baby out… the recovery for it is not easy.
    I agree that due to gender wars woman often write off men as evil beings, Allah made men & woman, we should work together & not compete like that.
    I am glad you are taking the balanced approach here.
    Edit: I want to add this since people automatically like to take people’s words for things before doing the research themselves, do look it up yourself & don’t take my word or anyone else’s for it without the checks & balances. That being said, the research says that vaginal birth has a lower mortality rate than c section; someone else commented otherwise & people liked it, it sounds nice but the statistics do not reflect that, so be careful before nodding along as it it may misguide others to take risky decisions due to pop culture fear mongering related to vaginal births.

    • @dkhailiaichrak7031
      @dkhailiaichrak7031 2 месяца назад +1

      I just came from a video where a comment with many likes saying women should be obedient like our mothers so nah man are just stupidly selfish 😊

    • @anonanon2712
      @anonanon2712 2 месяца назад +17

      Asalamu alaikum. Neither is the recovery for vaginal birth. This is a womens issue, and it should stay as such.

    • @ThePlatineist
      @ThePlatineist 2 месяца назад +2

      Allah SwT made men and women and somehow men don't empathize with women and the pain they go through even when women ask for it even when they explain it. A war between men and women? Stop hurting women. From my side the reason I am at the brink of being at war with men is because men keep bulldozing all over me thinking they can get away with it.

    • @LianaSchr
      @LianaSchr 2 месяца назад +2

      Okay, yes that is true. That is the purpose of the vagina.
      Then again, there are people like me who try to be born butt first.
      In the time before c-section. I and my mother would have died.
      This needs to be clarified before women die from misinformation, and don't try to make the gender war women's fault.
      There are men out there who would run with this and some semi understanding and ruin women's lives.

    • @areejashraf7413
      @areejashraf7413 2 месяца назад +3

      Sometimes the natural way isn't an option. Maternal deaths became significantly lessened after C-sections became widespread.

  • @hirasheikh6201
    @hirasheikh6201 2 месяца назад +10

    Agreed that a mother's status isn't related to how much pain she felt in labor. That's honestly one day...what about 9 months of pregnancy and 2 years of breastfeeding and lifetime of mothering. Anyway, but yes. I have heard of high class ladies opting for C-sections without medical reasons because normal looked scarier and harder etc. It's weird since they scare me more but it is true that it happens. If it does, it's not bad to try to encourage those moms to not add unnecessary risks to themselves and their children.

  • @perfect.weather5933
    @perfect.weather5933 2 месяца назад +1

    To be honest, good and responsible doctors will never encourage a c-section. I've seen cases where mothers requested for c-section deliveries, but the doctors strongly discouraged the idea. Unlike normal delivery, the C-section leads to a longer recovery and at higher risks of complications and postpartum pains. C-section is only meant for certain cases like breech babies. These doctors I observed are the doctors from upper-class hospitals, i mean, they could have pushed the clients for money from C-section deliveries as it can be lucrative, but they strongly discouraged them. So, to all future mothers out there, bearing the pain once for a few hours is better than bearing the recovery pain for a month or two while taking care of your little one. All will be well inshaAllah.

  • @MH-bf4uu
    @MH-bf4uu 3 месяца назад +4

    Hi maryam. When will your book be available to buy?

  • @j_raidah02
    @j_raidah02 2 месяца назад +2

    Thanks a lot!

  • @rawdaahmed6594
    @rawdaahmed6594 2 месяца назад +1

    Thank you ❤️❤️❤️

  • @marziaball5089
    @marziaball5089 2 месяца назад +2

    That is true Islam does not require pain and suffering.

  • @fatimetoujaafar8634
    @fatimetoujaafar8634 2 месяца назад +1

    Salam alaikoum maryam may ALLAH bless you ,i love your vids they are so comforting and calm. Can you please do a series for us about the objectifs of sunna and quran❤

  • @sabiahamid6224
    @sabiahamid6224 2 месяца назад

    Good video my sister , thank you for enlightening us all ❤Allah knows we need knowledge very badly.

  • @Megaspinosaurusrex
    @Megaspinosaurusrex 2 месяца назад

    If it wasn't for a c section, it's possible that neither me or my mom would be here today.
    I can never imagine what the pain of childbirth is like, but I know that c section doesn't in no way take it away.

  • @PrincessFairyGirl
    @PrincessFairyGirl 2 месяца назад

    Thank you Maryam🤍

  • @aishaceesay5649
    @aishaceesay5649 2 месяца назад +2

    Well understood

  • @MVPA-io5ee
    @MVPA-io5ee 2 месяца назад +1

    one of the thing i really hate about the men that talk about Islam, it usually would portray woman in a negative way. for example: when men are told about helping their wife and to look up to prophet Muhammad s.a.w as an example.. (our prophet are not lazy man and doesn't depend on the wife 💯 on the matters of house chore, he's very independent).. they said modern woman are lazy.. and they choose Fatimah r.a as an example. As if everyone is as poor as the people that comes before us. as if any kind of help for the wife is seen as the wife being lazy. At that point, i just avoid some of them. And so any talks about woman, i would filter them especially if we listen it from the man's side.

  • @jioufl3396
    @jioufl3396 2 месяца назад +1

    Thank you for your video

  • @shakira7301
    @shakira7301 2 месяца назад +24

    “No uterus no opinion” should be the only reply

    • @_-FreePalestine-_
      @_-FreePalestine-_ 2 месяца назад +18

      That is not how it works in Islam. These scholars do not give lectures/fatwas based on their opinions but on what they believe is right according to Islamic rulings after spending their lives studying and educating themselves on the topic. This is specifically in the context of religion. The statement you made is useless in the context of Islam and it's rulings. This is also not how any of this works and is a statement made with a secular perspective in mind.

    • @shahidabdoullakhanzorovr1564
      @shahidabdoullakhanzorovr1564 2 месяца назад +1

      Can you show me the Quran verse or Hadith you got that from?

    • @allissoftinside
      @allissoftinside 2 месяца назад +3

      ​@@_-FreePalestine-_as a muslim woman i agree

    • @mazhiang_dishia_
      @mazhiang_dishia_ 2 месяца назад +2

      ​@_-FreePalestine-_ it actually does tho. Allah made it a women's issue that should be discussed between women in relation with the quran not biased scholars who mostly just give their opinions on the issue not an actual interpretation of the quran or any hadith and use the "bUt I sTuDieD" as a cover.

    • @ZM-et7zt
      @ZM-et7zt 2 месяца назад

      This is how we shut down conversation, not how we enrich it

  • @tesnimouni6689
    @tesnimouni6689 2 месяца назад +1

    Was this sheikh a doctor? If not, then maybe he shouldn't have said anything about it. It ain't part of his expertise and he should've stuck in his lane. Women should listen to their doctor's advice in matters of their health.

  • @feliciathal4144
    @feliciathal4144 2 месяца назад +6

    Sisters must get educated. Men are not on our side. Very few men actually stand up for us Muslimahs. We must be scholars to protect us from ignorant, misogynistic, chauvinistic, predatory men and to raise good Muslim men and women

  • @aminahodzic5693
    @aminahodzic5693 3 месяца назад +1

  • @nurhanaibrahim162
    @nurhanaibrahim162 2 месяца назад

    Asalamualaykum wrb. Sister Maryam u need to know basic Islam and also abt giving birth naturally and caesarean. PLse do not give ignorant advice.No real men Muslim scholars want unnecessary pain for Muslim women.Its just that women opt for cara dor fast giving birth that's it.Thats wrong as natural way is less painful though some take hrs and bany gets nutrient than thru surgery.C cut too is painful later needs a few mths to recover while faster recovery for natural delivery though some women have days of labor.
    One does not need women to be scholars tk be fair to women nor uterus tk understand.Do u yrself have children then ? MEN scholars are more knowledgeable than women even though Aiahah RAH is a hadith scholar though not Fuquha.Plse dont be feminist for no reason.Allahyahdikum wayahdina.