My Husband Refuses to Get a Job (Should I Leave Him?)

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  • Опубликовано: 18 янв 2025

Комментарии • 592

  • @meesh1002
    @meesh1002 Год назад +331

    “No he’s not like this” but also “he got fired from other jobs for stealing”. Yes honey, that’s who he is

    • @devadii24
      @devadii24 Год назад +14

      ☠️

    • @MuzzyBarker
      @MuzzyBarker 2 месяца назад +2

      That's why she corrected herself.

  • @Catelynmeow
    @Catelynmeow Год назад +408

    I can’t imagine being too lazy to work and being at the mercy of everyone else. A job provides independence and security.

    • @umiluv
      @umiluv Год назад +27

      That’s not laziness. It sounds like depression to me.

    • @Erica-wz8yv
      @Erica-wz8yv Год назад +27

      Sometimes it is just pure laziness.

    • @user-if4ke6en9r
      @user-if4ke6en9r Год назад +1

      @@umiluvbro he’s been fired from multiple jobs for stealing cash-value items, and now refuses to work. He may be depressed, but he’s also just a lazy pile of garbage

    • @salonsavy6476
      @salonsavy6476 Год назад +12

      I’ve been through it ,, my sons father,,the guy was too entitled to work!

    • @jet4415
      @jet4415 Год назад +19

      That’s why women should work as it does “provide independence and security”.

  • @bria2596
    @bria2596 Год назад +65

    My grandmother, Opal Mae, always said, "Never keep a man who will not work." I worked in disability, and you would be shocked at how many men in their 30s and 40s would file for disability, but had ZERO earnings on record. When I asked, they all told me the same thing, women took care of them. Those ladies needed to meet my grandmother. She would have explained that they could do a LOT better, than a man who only wanted to use them. None of those men were found to be disabled - they were healthy and well cared for.

    • @paulababula9621
      @paulababula9621 Год назад

      I've met men who don't have $20 to their name. Lazy fucks

  • @jh26pt2
    @jh26pt2 Год назад +273

    The dude hasn't bothered to support his family for almost a year, has been fired three times for stealing, repeatedly gets angry (and trending towards violent), and always has an excuse for why he isn't doing what he should. Uh, why exactly would you want to stay with him?

    • @Anonymus-xr5ee
      @Anonymus-xr5ee Год назад +24

      Because she is an "addict". Why do some people not only stay in terrible relationships but end up with them repeatedly? Because the relationship gives them something that they desperately want. Most e.g., gambling, alcohol, or drug addicts understand at some level that their behavior is destructive, but still, they do not stop or fail to stop. Drugs, gambling, or whatever gives you something that you want. Without dealing with that, it will be hard to break the pattern. There is a real risk, that she will eventually leave this guy, but after some time end in a similar relationship again.

    • @jh26pt2
      @jh26pt2 Год назад +14

      @@Anonymus-xr5ee Sadly, you're right. The fact is, this caller was attracted to this man, married him, and has been with him for years. If you keep picking lemons, that's on you.

    • @tonytoni1150
      @tonytoni1150 Год назад +11

      They have a fear of being alone. Being with an unstable man provides her with the emotional chaos she NEEDS in her life, that’s why she stays. This lady ain’t going nowhere.

    • @faithli2131
      @faithli2131 Год назад +6

      Idk whether y’all have the truth of it or not, but for every person who is reluctant to leave a bad relationship, there are multiple people way too ready to leave relationships that just need some work out into them. Don’t be mean to the people who are reluctant to give up on someone. More people should be a little more reluctant. That said, I’m not saying she should stay with him either.

    • @lot2196
      @lot2196 Год назад +7

      Sadly, I agree. I've seen women walk away from wonderful situations to live in trailers with trash. They need it, they love the drama and the bad boys.

  • @brightpage1020
    @brightpage1020 Год назад +184

    This is not a “should I leave him?” Situation. This is a “How do I get out from under this mess, now?” Call. I hope We The Internet For Good can help her and her kids. I called the show and left a message asking how to help donate something to support this family. I would encourage others to stand up for these kids the same way. Thank you!

    • @jasonleatherwood2172
      @jasonleatherwood2172 Год назад +5

      Dont donate a dime she can get welfare she aint working either remember

    • @vanmamawannabe6360
      @vanmamawannabe6360 Год назад +39

      @@jasonleatherwood2172Did you miss the part where she said she’s on maternity leave and going back to work in a week?

    • @NRQ-zv5bp
      @NRQ-zv5bp Год назад

      ​@@jasonleatherwood2172first of all she is working because she mentioned how she worked until pretty much the day the baby was born since her husband wasn't working. She's on maternity leave and now her maternity leave is almost up. Secondly, even if she wasn't working that's even more reason to help her. If she was on welfare all of a sudden and she's a mother of four with a 2 year old and a newborn we should want to help her. May you never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever need help a moment in your life because I feel bad for you. What you put out there for that woman will probably come back 100 fold on you which is to get a whole bunch of nothing not an inch from anyone no empathy nothing

    • @drn13355
      @drn13355 Год назад

      I am not donating money to lazy scrubs. There are a gazillion jobs out there. I am not working to send my money to grow ups sitting on their couch watching tv all day.

    • @MN-br5nb
      @MN-br5nb Год назад +4

      She can definitely get assistance and start a gofundme last thing we need is a pregnant mom on the streets. He’s not a man if he’s stealing money and gift cards, I understand ppl do strange things. But this is not a man of character. And if strangers want to donate to her that’s their right. That’s your good deed with God don’t let the negative ppl tell you otherwise. They are just bitter.

  • @jennifert2953
    @jennifert2953 Год назад +131

    I’m with you. I have lived this. I wish I could buy you coffee and just listen to you. Wow this got to me. It hurts so much doesn’t it. I know you don’t want to be a single mom, but you already are.

  • @tammyreise
    @tammyreise Год назад +121

    Men like him are unhinged… I wouldn’t even give him notice. Or get law enforcement involved. Her husband is pretty much a criminal.

    • @daryltgeorge
      @daryltgeorge Год назад +5

      None of the men in my close inner circle have ever been fired from a job, never been charged with any crimes, make above average income, and have children only if if married. So let's not go down the generalisation route.

    • @tammyreise
      @tammyreise Год назад

      @Ivan_5150 you should too.

    • @tammyreise
      @tammyreise Год назад +2

      @@daryltgeorge good for you 👍🏼

    • @tammyreise
      @tammyreise Год назад +2

      @Ivan_5150 I corrected my comment. I maintain my disposition.

    • @talyahr3302
      @talyahr3302 Год назад +8

      He literally is a criminal. And a repeat offender. It's amazing he's shocked he got caught the 3rd time. Maybe he thought he'd become such a better thief, but missing money is always going to leave a noticeable gap.

  • @jennpul1015
    @jennpul1015 Год назад +80

    A man refuses to perform his most basic duty. And he steals🙄🙄. She should run. When my uncle who is a qualified accountant couldn't find a job on his field, he did construction for 2 years before he got employed as an accountant again.

    • @emperorpalpatine9841
      @emperorpalpatine9841 7 месяцев назад +1

      It’s 2024.

    • @italianozuzu1232
      @italianozuzu1232 Месяц назад

      I did construction 20 years there its no money on construction anymore.

    • @jennpul1015
      @jennpul1015 Месяц назад +1

      @italianozuzu1232 if there is no money, are people doing it for free? There maybe alot less money but there is some.

    • @italianozuzu1232
      @italianozuzu1232 Месяц назад +1

      @@jennpul1015 not free . But almost .

  • @janwells2199
    @janwells2199 Год назад +98

    Her reaction to "Are you safe?" is telling. Yikes.

    • @Sheryl777
      @Sheryl777 Год назад +2

      @janwells2199 👍

  • @Walkingwithjordan214
    @Walkingwithjordan214 Год назад +56

    I was once an unemployed husband of a pregnant wife. The shame still haunts me. I now hold 3 jobs and volunteer weekly at church and somehow carve out family time with that beautiful wife and daughter she was carrying all those years ago. It only gets better if you get moving. ❤

    • @JessSJ2DC
      @JessSJ2DC Год назад +6

      My husband’s been fired twice - basically unemployed for over 4 years. I hate it. I can only ask folks for prayers. I pray every single night that my husband can turnaround the way you did.

    • @Walkingwithjordan214
      @Walkingwithjordan214 Год назад +3

      @@JessSJ2DC I will pray for both of you. 🙏🏽

    • @MyCatsChannel841
      @MyCatsChannel841 7 месяцев назад +1

      Ya no a man needs to provide when a women is pregnant my gosh women are not cared for in todays world like it’s hard to work as a pregnant women it’s terrible u let her carry you guys so long and did nothing heck no I woulda divorced along time ago I understand things happen but it doesn’t matter your wife was pregnant 🤰 but I would divorce and leave and get a Real man man crazy times in todays world 😂

    • @Walkingwithjordan214
      @Walkingwithjordan214 7 месяцев назад +4

      @@MyCatsChannel841 if she would have taken your bad advise and not stuck by me while I was on a job hunt she would have missed out on being a stay at home mom for the past 12 years. Not to mention our daughter would be living in a broken home. For better or worse, you don’t just walk because someone loses a job. Thats silly.

    • @coriemmett1363
      @coriemmett1363 4 месяца назад +3

      At least you have integrity and work ethic. Sometimes ppl don’t. 😢

  • @talkindurinthemovie
    @talkindurinthemovie Год назад +74

    When my husband lost his job he worked making cabinets and as a personal trainer while getting his MBA

  • @dangerzone24
    @dangerzone24 Год назад +43

    It blows me away what some women are willing to settle for these days. I had a close friend in almost the exact situation, and she got mad at me for trying to help rather than her deadbeat husband.

    • @CyeOutsider
      @CyeOutsider 8 месяцев назад +1

      How is she setting? She didn't know about his previous stealing and she's trying to leave him now.

  • @whatintheheck4692
    @whatintheheck4692 Год назад +53

    This man-child will not change and I hope she can move on and live her best life.

  • @gabbyyyyy5452
    @gabbyyyyy5452 Год назад +72

    He’s a loser, ma’am. How can any man watch the mother of his children struggle and be so stressed out right under his nose. He’s getting angrier because he’s realizing how much of a burden he really is as time passes . I’m sorry this is your situation I hope you have some relief soon dear ❤️

    • @andrew8168
      @andrew8168 Год назад +1

      She chose this and she's been making bad choices in men her whole life (or she would be married to the first man she spoke an unbreakable vow to stay with til death did them part).

    • @alladreamwedreamed
      @alladreamwedreamed 7 месяцев назад

      It's embarrassing to admit you picked a loser, or someone that turned into a loser. You can hear the embarrassment in her voice! I wish I could give her a fast forward button to see her better future without him.

  • @umiluv
    @umiluv Год назад +43

    Lots of restaurants employ convicts as cooks.

  • @May-qb3vx
    @May-qb3vx Год назад +44

    Red flag. This sounds exactly like what my sister was saying about her husband of 20 years. Come to find out, he was physically abusing her behind closed doors the whole time. I’m just afraid there is more going on in the background here. Her husband (and my sister’s soon to be ex) both have very real mental health issues, but it’s still their responsibility. He needs to seek help (and stop stealing) AND get a job. If he refuses one or both, I’d say he needs to be out of the picture. I’m praying for y’all and your babies

  • @YcMdattGUY
    @YcMdattGUY Год назад +35

    My mom's husband is this same way. Hasnt had a job for 5 years. My mom was gifted a car from a coworker and she gave it to him because otherwise he would be stuck in the house. He wrecked it in 2 weeks lol. She pays all their bills and complains to us (her kids) about it. I dont really know what to say about it any more.

    • @hansonallie
      @hansonallie Год назад +4

      Ugh! I feel badly for your Mom!

    • @lynnlakotich6331
      @lynnlakotich6331 Год назад +14

      ​@@hansonallieyou shouldn't. She made the choice to tolerate that behavior.

    • @vaska1999
      @vaska1999 8 месяцев назад +1

      ​@@hansonallieI feel sorry for her kids.

    • @vaska1999
      @vaska1999 8 месяцев назад +1

      ​@@hansonallieI feel sorry for her mom's kids.

  • @alihall676
    @alihall676 Год назад +117

    It’s very easy to judge this woman when you have never walked a mile in her shoes. She has my prayers for a better tomorrow. I commend her for making this phone call. I hope she is able to keep moving forward. She needs support, kindness and help.

    • @rebeccaoprea9917
      @rebeccaoprea9917 Год назад +10

      She has made very poor judgements.

    • @angelafair6492
      @angelafair6492 Год назад +20

      I agree. We have *ALL* made decisions and chose people that we “ shouldn’t have .” She was just brave enough to share it. She has a hard road ahead , but I wish her nothing but the best.

    • @kiwiskiwi
      @kiwiskiwi Год назад

      wow so many victim blamers here. HE has made very poor judgements. Fortunately, she is leaving him.@@rebeccaoprea9917

    • @jamaicaninthekitchen4358
      @jamaicaninthekitchen4358 Год назад +1

      She needs to leave him he cant expect ger to take care of him.go get help be a man.

    • @stephaniwagner637
      @stephaniwagner637 Год назад

      ​@@rebeccaoprea9917sounds like you've never made a bad decision in your life

  • @siegfriedbraun5447
    @siegfriedbraun5447 Год назад +71

    What happens, when you clearly see a problem, ignore it and hope life gets better.

  • @thegatesofdawn...1386
    @thegatesofdawn...1386 Год назад +23

    Well, the husband is not a great loss if he is abusive and has no job! She's going through a traumatic time, God bless her.❤
    Prayer warriors need to get on board the prayer train! 🙏

  • @SeanGunz
    @SeanGunz Год назад +43

    Couldn't imagine being like this. I couldn't stand even being on short term disability after a surgery and got back into the gym and work as fast as possible even though I was still being paid. I had the house in tip top shape while watching the kids to feel somewhat normal

  • @danielnickerson1762
    @danielnickerson1762 Год назад +56

    Stop choosing these men that don't work! There's no excuse for it period. Choosing a man that's not a good provider will destroy ur life. I haven't been without an income since I was in high school. There's no excuse!

    • @naca1553
      @naca1553 Год назад +4

      Yes it has impacted my life not having a man who was a good provider

    • @CyeOutsider
      @CyeOutsider 8 месяцев назад +3

      She didn't choose a man that didn't work. She chose a man with a job who then got fired.

    • @lavenderandgold8588
      @lavenderandgold8588 6 месяцев назад

      A lot of these guys will blame their mental health issues (depression, anxiety, etc). So, they have enough self awareness to understand that they’re struggling but don’t want to take the first step to seek treatment so they can get their motivation back. Unfortunately, some people just need to hit rock bottom in order to get it.

  • @marciabernard3820
    @marciabernard3820 Год назад +76

    It's ok to be single.

    • @MsMagav
      @MsMagav 2 месяца назад +3

      Its amazing to be single 🎉😂 but I guess its harder once there are kids involved

    • @marciabernard3820
      @marciabernard3820 2 месяца назад

      @MsMagav that's y u. Run. Fast as u can

  • @wf4983
    @wf4983 Год назад +25

    Dr. Delony is very good at his job! Well done 👍

  • @Lil-Whiskies
    @Lil-Whiskies Год назад +14

    A friend of mine called this type of dysfunction, paralysis. The complete inability to have forward progress in one's life, just stagnating in unhappiness.

  • @hf110510
    @hf110510 Год назад +20

    Sara - pllllease leave. Its going to be REALLY hard. You will have to pull strength you dont know from where. But I promise that it will be worth it.

  • @chrisckvan
    @chrisckvan Год назад +54

    Ladies and gentlemen. Please make better choices in who you marry and have children with. Straight up this man is a bum, and I am sure there were signs of this before she had children with him and married him.

    • @daryltgeorge
      @daryltgeorge Год назад +11

      The fact that he was fired TWICE before for stealing suggests that these character flaws were always there, and she really should have done some good digging before getting married and having kids. I suspect that this woman has been through a lot of trauma and rushed from one bad relationship to another.

    • @terriesmith2616
      @terriesmith2616 Год назад +3

      The signs were always there, people simply choose to ignore it because they are at the beginning love stage and don't want it to end, nor face it, so they ignore the obvious red flags.

    • @galaxyglitterlatte4664
      @galaxyglitterlatte4664 Месяц назад

      I have realized that who you choose to marry is literally the MOST important decision of your life because it affects every aspect of your existence including your kids' lives!!!

  • @StuGo1013
    @StuGo1013 Год назад +13

    Sara, move on! You will get stronger each day that goes by and as you get closer to your goal. Your husband had his chance. Your main concern is the children. These children need YOU!

  • @tspencer661
    @tspencer661 Год назад +17

    She needs to get out ASAP. No ultimatums. She needs to plan her departure without his knowledge. She needs to talk with her local domestic violence shelter. She needs to make sure that he can’t access the bank accounts. (My ex husband almost left me penniless.)
    Some people are unwilling to change themselves for the better. He sounds like one of these people. No self respecting man would strand a 15 year old on the side of the road. This man is DANGEROUS.
    She may need to be prepared to pay him spousal support. She’s been providing for him financially for almost a year.
    My ex husband had been unemployed for two years at the time I left. Because of this, the judge in my divorce case ordered me to pay spousal support for nine months. I had a great attorney, so I didn’t have to pay him the $2200 a month he initially asked for.
    I wish this woman the best of luck.

  • @Lover30583
    @Lover30583 Год назад +45

    Maybe I watch too much TV, but I feel like these are the situations where the woman tries to leave or does leave and the man comes back and murders her and/or the kids. All the obvious red flags are there. Scary situation for a woman to be in.

    • @Sheryl777
      @Sheryl777 Год назад +4

      @Nicholas8282 When you say "watch TV" I'm thinking TV news...it happens every day almost in the town I live in. A day doesn't seem to go by that we don't hear on the news where someone has murdered someone else, and a lot of times it's a man who has done the murdering to family members. (I didn't say ALL the time, but many times it is the man who does that type of thing, including committing suicide once he's murdered others in his life, if we go by what the news is saying that is).

    • @rory644
      @rory644 Год назад

      @@Sheryl777it’s pretty much always the man who kills very rarely the woman

    • @hansonallie
      @hansonallie Год назад +4

      I had the same thought! From the story (her side anyway) I definitely sense a personality disorder that could turn dangerous…

    • @Sheryl777
      @Sheryl777 Год назад +1

      @@hansonallie Yes I agree that's a possibility for sure.

  • @jillianwilliams1
    @jillianwilliams1 Год назад +15

    I'm so sorry..... I'm in the same position. I work full time,we have two kids and my husband has been out of a job for over a year. It's disheartening. My heart goes to this woman.

  • @coolaunt516
    @coolaunt516 Год назад +86

    She should leave? She's got four kids who need a place to live. Kick HIM out and let him figure out where he is going to live.

  • @araineacutebrownnurse7315
    @araineacutebrownnurse7315 Год назад +28

    I would have been on so much birth control, rhythm method , body condom …. JUST PROTECTING MY FERTILITY and sanity. An adult man child husband 🤯no use in me adding to the madness. At some point you also have to take accountability
    RUNNNNNN

    • @keylacmckemp1309
      @keylacmckemp1309 11 месяцев назад +2

      I was thinking about that. Do not bring children into this.

    • @rockerwoman
      @rockerwoman 8 месяцев назад +5

      That really did stand out for me…STOP HAVING KIDS!

    • @tsumebones13
      @tsumebones13 2 месяца назад +1

      My mom once said you don't need to have a child with every man youre with.

    • @futuremelina
      @futuremelina 2 месяца назад

      ​@@tsumebones13 the woman on the call wants to challenge that quote

  • @cyoohoos
    @cyoohoos Год назад +18

    Run far, far, away
    I tiptoe because one day they want to leave, the next they are defending the spouse. There is immaturity on both sides, so... if you like it... I LOVE it

  • @amberklein1560
    @amberklein1560 Год назад +7

    I'm SO sorry for what you're going through.

  • @Cyblps
    @Cyblps Год назад +4

    Don’t wait! Protect your children and yourself!!!! Be brave and leave. He won’t change in 30 days.

  • @paulaqueirosz
    @paulaqueirosz Год назад +12

    Minus the kids, I'm in a similar situation. Husband not working for a year, getting more unstable by the hour, refusing to get help or own his mistakes (not dishonesty though).
    I haven't left yet because I have nowhere to go. My family lives in another country and there is a housing crisis in my area, so I cannot afford most apartments - the ones I can, have 200 applicants.
    It's nerve-wracking... my thoughts are with this lady...

    • @mle011
      @mle011 Год назад +2

      Move out, rent a room in a house or an apartment- you maybe can’t afford to live by yourself but you can live with roommates instead of a toxic partner.

    • @keylacmckemp1309
      @keylacmckemp1309 11 месяцев назад

      Do you have a coworker or friend you can move in with? Worse case, move to the country where your family is.

  • @abcdlilbit11
    @abcdlilbit11 Год назад +48

    Sounds like his dishonest thievery is catching up to him.
    Leave leave leave

  • @julieosmondson5180
    @julieosmondson5180 Год назад +29

    My opinion is this guy love bombed you and you didn’t realize who he really is. Now you are seeing the real him. He is lazy, doesn’t want to work, and is a thief. He is abusive. With a new baby you are overwhelmed. But you and the kids deserve better. Make good choices every day and keep moving on! Better days are ahead just keep putting one foot in front of the other. You sound like a sweet good person and a good mom.

    • @jones2277
      @jones2277 Год назад

      bingo. women with low self-esteem and lack of boundaries or discipline fall hard for love bombing.

  • @queensavage9896
    @queensavage9896 Год назад +6

    I started crying before she did. You are not alone. Please leave him and free yourself. 😢❤

  • @hanney3194
    @hanney3194 Год назад +3

    I appreciate the amount of time John spent on this call

  • @stephaniejensen4596
    @stephaniejensen4596 Год назад +11

    My heart breaks for this lady; it sounds as if her husband is close to harming the family even further. This is really dangerous. I hope they find safety soon. Also, what happens with his bio kids?

  • @DominickSpano
    @DominickSpano Год назад +15

    I am all about redemption and perhaps the husband can change at some point, (I hope so) but for now get rid of him, no question about it. She does need a plan.

    • @brightpage1020
      @brightpage1020 Год назад +2

      Yes, a safety plan. Within 24 - 48 hours.

  • @TheCratsky
    @TheCratsky Год назад +11

    The husband of a friend has been unemployed for 4 years so far. She refuses to have the tough conversation and ask him what/why he continues to do nothing. Little dies she realise she is enabling him by continuing to do everything around the house so he doesn't realise she is resenting him. His life has not suffered as a result of quitting his job. Some people like to complain and do nothing about it sadly. She complains to us but continues to play the obedient wife.

    • @JessSJ2DC
      @JessSJ2DC Год назад

      Hey that’s me! 👋

  • @kcourtney6826
    @kcourtney6826 Год назад +21

    I was wondering what was the reason for his termination from his last job, which explains why he isn't looking for another he probably has a record.

  • @FrankS111
    @FrankS111 Год назад +105

    She’s already had a failed marriage. Now another one with a bum who can’t work but decided to have 2 kids with him knowing this. He’s a loser and she picks losers. Keep picking men who give you the emotional rollercoaster tingles and expect this for your life. He needs to see a psychologist as she does as well.

    • @sanitary103
      @sanitary103 Год назад +16

      Yup she keeps choosing losers. She’s part of the problem as well.

    • @citrustaco
      @citrustaco Год назад +16

      Correction: She is a loser too. You are what you eat and you are what your pick. If this were a guy choosing loser women repeatedly, we’d point the finger at him and call it what it is. He’s a loser.
      Loser men have only loser women to pick from. And vice versa. He talked to her and she accepted and gave him kids. She has to find a way to change her loser mentality if she wants to move on.

    • @Dark_Souls_3
      @Dark_Souls_3 Год назад +3

      @@citrustacoit’s rough and many people would want to support her all the way. I think that’s because we tend to side with the protagonist of a story, even if they’re wrong. This lady picks losers and at the end of the day, it’s not her fault for dealing with her outcomes, but it is her fault for not being wise enough the second time to follow the same outcome a second time

    • @probablynot1368
      @probablynot1368 Год назад +14

      Did you not hear her say that after he was fired from the recent job (the week after she found out she was pregnant), she then discovered he had been fired from two prior jobs? Although he hid these behaviors from her, she was responsible for doing more ‘research’ prior to marriage to figure out if he was good husband/father material.

    • @wf4983
      @wf4983 Год назад +6

      He might not even given her the roller coster tingles. I doubt he did. She needed someone and ... some people are not the logical type. I feel sorry for her. She's exhausted.

  • @chrisgast
    @chrisgast Год назад +12

    It's paramount to get to know people you get involved with. If they lack maturity or they are only pretending to be mature, then either tell them that so that they change for the better or move on. People who don't end up in situations like these.

  • @Ohkay5613
    @Ohkay5613 Год назад +14

    I bet if her family and friends were asked about it, they would say this was 100% predictable. The man was a bum from the start. The caller obviously makes stupid choices.
    She needs therapy and get on permanent birth control so that she doesn't have more babies with another bum baby daddy.

    • @alberttang6955
      @alberttang6955 Год назад +3

      What are the odds she gets pregnant with a 5th kid by a future baby daddy.

    • @terriesmith2616
      @terriesmith2616 Год назад +7

      She needs to stop having kids period. Five kids is more than enough for a lifetime.

  • @JackAceINC
    @JackAceINC Год назад +13

    Here's the deal, if he has ever been physically abusive towards you or the children... YOU ARE 100% DONE!

    • @kayabe856
      @kayabe856 Год назад +2

      She should be done regardless. He is a deadbeat.

    • @stickybandit2346
      @stickybandit2346 Год назад

      Maybe he spent the last 20 years paying for the house they live in and she is the deadbeat that is finally having to pay for things.@@kayabe856

  • @laurahall5182
    @laurahall5182 Год назад +4

    He’s not going to change and have some light bulb moment. He is showing you who he is, believe him, and run!

  • @alladreamwedreamed
    @alladreamwedreamed 7 месяцев назад +3

    My 1st husband developed a shoplifting problem. It got worse and worse and he tried to hide it from me but i figured it out and confronted him. He did not want to stop stealing. So i left him. Sad but disappointing. Some people put so much effort into tricking others, and zero effort into being a better person.

    • @MyCatsChannel841
      @MyCatsChannel841 7 месяцев назад +1

      Well at least you Left 👏👏👏👏👏smart

  • @intuitive_duck
    @intuitive_duck Год назад +47

    You know it’s real bad when his own family doesn’t support him over the wife.

  • @deed449
    @deed449 Год назад +15

    He’s afraid to go back to work obviously. He’s a thief and he knows it. Why would he put himself in the position to get fired again. On the other hand this may be his wake up call to actually get the help he needs. She really should leave him for her own mental health. The children do not need to be subjected to this or the potential abuse.

  • @mysterio1570
    @mysterio1570 Год назад +11

    Sara has no romantic prospects in her life. Her current Hubs is self destructive. She needs to get out. Its not like he is going to change any time soon. She needs to not have any romantic relationship with a man for a good two years to recalibrate. All I hear in this is that she does not want to be alone and being just a mom and working woman with out some sort of romantic relationship.

    • @daryltgeorge
      @daryltgeorge Год назад +4

      This exactly. No relationship with her former partner (husband? baby daddy?) and their children says it all - her previous choice in partner was bad, and this choice in partner is equally bad (or worse). Sara needs to leave this relationship IMMEDIATELY, get intensive therapy, and forget about any type of serious romantic relationship for the next few years.

  • @Sheryl777
    @Sheryl777 Год назад +16

    If her husband has been getting more and more angry lately, it might not be safe for her to do the things that Dr. John is telling her to do...as far as talking to him and telling him that there's going to be a separation unless such and such is done. I sort of fear she may be in danger if she does tell him that. Don't get me wrong, I think they should separate under the circumstances, it's just that I'm not sure how badly he's going to take it, and I hope and pray he won't take it out on her in a physical way, potentially causing harm to her and/or her children.

    • @flashthecorgi2053
      @flashthecorgi2053 Год назад +1

      She’s working with a counselor so that will help and also she’s not pregnant, she already had the baby!

    • @Sheryl777
      @Sheryl777 Год назад +1

      @@flashthecorgi2053 I hope that things will work out for her and the kids for sure! The fact that she's seeing a counselor will help her, but in my mind at least, unless something major changes, it probably won't help him any that she's seeing a counselor...I doubt he cares much about that, the way the phone call sounded. When you said, "She’s working with a counselor so that will help and also she’s not pregnant, she already had the baby!" I didn't hear that she'd already had the baby and wasn't pregnant anymore...guess I missed that part...so thanks for mentioning it. 👍

    • @Sheryl777
      @Sheryl777 Год назад

      @@flashthecorgi2053 I hope working with a counselor will help her yes, but I doubt it will change her husband any, unless he finally wakes up and does the right things (as he should).

    • @Sheryl777
      @Sheryl777 Год назад +1

      @@flashthecorgi2053 I'm glad to hear she already had the baby...I missed that part of the convo...so thanks for telling me that.

    • @girlygirl1890
      @girlygirl1890 Год назад +3

      @sheryl777 I agree with you. Talking to him like John says is not wise advice. i don't trust him with "a talking to."

  • @abrazoybesito01
    @abrazoybesito01 Год назад +13

    God Hinself says,
    "A man who does not work...DOES NOT EAT"...
    2
    Thessalonions 3:10
    "What we permit...we PERMOTE...
    what we allow we ENCIURAGE ...
    what we condone...we OWN"!!! 👍🏼

    • @greenAbbot
      @greenAbbot Год назад +1

      Thessal onions are my favorite type of onions.

  • @gabriellacallahan2649
    @gabriellacallahan2649 Год назад +1

    I am praying for you Sara. I understand you. May God Comfort You!!

  • @sw6155
    @sw6155 Год назад +5

    Violence aside, I know a family like that… The dad has a cdl license still valid and doesn’t want to work because when his older kids were little he was on the road and he didn’t watch them grow… but now his younger kids of his second marriage are homeless because the wife was let go in a lay-off batch, savings thinned out and the rent went up… The mama has an 18mo, 3yo, 5yo, 2 8yo and a 10yo… With his cdl here in TN he could make enough that she wouldn’t need to work… I’m really pissed at him for their situation…. Their kids did not deserve to be homeless in grandpa’s house.
    😓💔💔💔💔💔

    • @girlygirl1890
      @girlygirl1890 Год назад +1

      @sw6156 Wow. So sad for the children (and wife). I hope they end up o.k. Thank you for sharing that story.

    • @sw6155
      @sw6155 Год назад

      @@girlygirl1890 We’re praying for them and providing punctual support with the kids as needed. I urge everyone who can to pray for the Blair family, please. Prayers do work! Especially selfless prayers from strangers, those are a special gift of love that are always rewarded in due time… 🥰🙏💕💕

  • @anonymouse9833
    @anonymouse9833 Год назад +9

    9:50 ALSO it's not his dad, it's his mom's lazy husband. Definitely adds a layer

  • @javaskull88
    @javaskull88 Год назад +9

    I have to wonder why he’s stealing? For starters, drugs and/or gambling come to mind. Drugs would also explain why he’s sleeping half the day. What a mess.

  • @ChrystalSafariRoy
    @ChrystalSafariRoy 2 месяца назад

    MAN! I needed you about 11 years ago!!

  • @jonibusskohl8958
    @jonibusskohl8958 Год назад +15

    Why would you want to stay so you can be his mommy the rest of his life and then if you actually need something he will turn tail and run?

    • @citrustaco
      @citrustaco Год назад

      Because she chose to have two kids with him and they both are very young.

    • @terriesmith2616
      @terriesmith2616 Год назад +1

      She's pregnant with this loser bum's 3rd child.
      She has five kids total.
      She needs to stop creating more children. 5 kids is more than enough. Close them legs or get on birth control or surgery.

  • @Commanderson7
    @Commanderson7 Год назад

    Man alot of the time I feel energized and alive when I am at work. Of course sometimes I really dont ant to go but it's really good for the mind and soul.

  • @scottg3456
    @scottg3456 Год назад +1

    Sara, kicking your husband out will be difficult for a little while, but just keep telling yourself it's a short term pain for a long term gain. Once you're through with all this, your life will get so much better. Best of luck.

  • @distorbia20
    @distorbia20 Год назад +6

    Lady this is not salvageable. He has criminal past and wouldn’t get a good reference. He can’t work. You have new baby can’t imagine having all this stress on top being a new mum. I feel for her

    • @dante6985
      @dante6985 Месяц назад

      Even if he worked fast food it'd be an improvement.

  • @CC12398
    @CC12398 Год назад +12

    He can obviously find a job if he's already been fired multiple times for stealing.

    • @talyahr3302
      @talyahr3302 Год назад +2

      Maybe before, they didn't press charges and for this time they did. Idk. There's always a sucker out there though.

  • @annamariadipancrazio7315
    @annamariadipancrazio7315 4 месяца назад +2

    I left my husband after 2 and a half years. 9 years later he still wasn't working. He didn't have any disability...

  • @jeremyvanb821
    @jeremyvanb821 9 месяцев назад +2

    The scary thing about marriage or relationships in general is that you can never truly know that person. You might think you do but you really don’t. Especially over time people grow and change and not always in the most compatible ways.

  • @HealthCoachHayley
    @HealthCoachHayley Год назад

    I’m so sorry my friend. If he won’t get help immediately he is choosing sickness and this is damaging to you and the children. Let his family know that you need help financially but you’ve gotta kick him out too. That’s all you’ve got.

  • @daryltgeorge
    @daryltgeorge Год назад +18

    The fact that her son has already been in therapy for years, and that she has no relationship with the dad, suggests that this woman has been through a lot of trauma and has not been able to make good decisions. If this guy was fired TWICE for stealing before this means that the red flags were there, she probably was just too desirous of getting back into a marriage and being "saved" to notice. Mom needs to IMMEDIATELY separate from this guy and get intensive therapy before making any additional life changing decisions. I would bet that husband is probably abusing alcohol/drugs as well.

  • @vjs4539
    @vjs4539 Год назад +5

    Yes. Definitely leave him. You can get more help from the state.

    • @ST-rj8iu
      @ST-rj8iu Год назад

      This is why we need to stop welfare. Poor choices was not what welfare was made for....it is for people with real disabilities. It is not fair.

  • @Ricoque-u2m
    @Ricoque-u2m Год назад +6

    She got, got.
    Single mothers are targets. Now she going to have pay his child support to previous baby moms, since he’s not working and will never get a normal paying job because of his thievery.
    She will work herself to the bone in the name of keeping her 2nd family together until her mental health or physical health declines.
    The goal is to make her into a submissive provider. Her devaluation will begin in private, than amongst family & friends, lastly on social media.
    Everyone will tell her she should’ve chosen better, no one will tell these males to BE better.

  • @meg1955
    @meg1955 Год назад +2

    The first betrayal was when she met this husband and he represented himself to be someone (character-wise) that he was not. Been there. Men with attachment issues will say or do anything to get attachment. Afterward, they let fly with their poor character traits. And you can't change another person, only your own reaction to what they do.

  • @xreediculousx
    @xreediculousx Год назад +58

    The husband and wife both make GREAT life choices.

    • @addiskassa5165
      @addiskassa5165 Год назад +2

      @andsimina13 wow! Love this!👍👊🙏

    • @devadii24
      @devadii24 Год назад

      bullseye 🎯

    • @alqoshgirl
      @alqoshgirl Год назад +3

      @andsimina13she’s on her second marriage. Guess she hasn’t learned her lesson quite enough. People like her rarely change and don’t acknowledge they have very poor decision making skills

  • @kathleencooney1518
    @kathleencooney1518 Год назад +4

    OMG ! All of this & she’s not really safe. Holy cow. She’s pregnant with 3 other kids ? I hope she has a church family. I’m praying for her. 🙏❤️🙏

  • @9liveslisa
    @9liveslisa Год назад +9

    If I had a husband that refused to work and support the family at all, I would leave him.

    • @Lil-Whiskies
      @Lil-Whiskies Год назад +3

      If I had a husband that refused to work - outside of the home - he would be working inside of the home. Cooking, dishes, laundry, cleaning, grocery shopping, bill paying, meeting with the plumbers and house maintenance, running errands, taking care of the kids, taking them to school and picking them up, having dinner ready when I get home. The whole shebang. A house-husband.

    • @Kristen-ek9rz
      @Kristen-ek9rz Год назад

      and don't forget being an Uber running the kids around to all their activities and appointments...many people do not realize what goes into being a SAHM..... @@Lil-Whiskies

  • @FrankS111
    @FrankS111 Год назад +134

    Imagine picking a man to marry and have children with who gets fired for stealing THEN complain about how poorly things are turning out for your life. She needs to seek help before getting into any other relationship

    • @kimberlyrobinson1978
      @kimberlyrobinson1978 Год назад +8

      I would be so OVER relationships at that point!

    • @razmiddle9410
      @razmiddle9410 Год назад +52

      I’ve noticed you spending your time commenting on a lot of Delony videos - where the women is the one doing something wrong, you blame her actions, not the man involved with her for choosing her. When it’s the man doing something wrong as in this case, you blame the woman for choosing him. It sounds like you have issues with taking accountability in your life.

    • @strajearocks11
      @strajearocks11 Год назад

      This caller is the one stepping up, has a job & is getting counseling. The husband is a loser who needs to be dropped off on the side of the road.

    • @ILuvMyBrwnSkin
      @ILuvMyBrwnSkin Год назад +31

      If you actually listened to the video through the truth and not your own bias, you would have heard that she didn't know about his stealing until after she found out about her second pregnancy by which they had been married already. Bitterness rots the bones

    • @ruthiesmith6770
      @ruthiesmith6770 Год назад +5

      WHY DID YOU MARRY HIM

  • @eatnplaytoday
    @eatnplaytoday Год назад +2

    In life you can’t change a person, you can’t wait for someone to change either. The only person who needs to change is her and she needs to remove herself from him. She can wait for him to change while separated from him. That final conversation (if in person) can be dangerous for her considering his anger. She should remove herself first physically , then make the call. If her husband has ever abused her son, she needs to call the cops

  • @jorgebernier5d
    @jorgebernier5d Год назад +16

    I have a feeling that she knew about his stealing problem all along, but now that he is having issues getting a new job (for obvious reasons) it has become a real problem, which it makes sense, but oh well. Who knows. This is just her side of their story.

    • @tonytoni1150
      @tonytoni1150 Год назад +3

      Of course she knew about his stealing problems. She knows what she’s dealing with, they just like to play dumb.

    • @kilaa3417
      @kilaa3417 Год назад +2

      ​@@tonytoni1150she's being abused and so are her kids, she doesn't know self-worth, focus.

  • @Operafan1005
    @Operafan1005 Год назад

    Woohoo I’m from San Antonio, what can I say? Dr. John Delonys right!

  • @jes6161
    @jes6161 Год назад +7

    As a citizen of Bexar county, this sounds like a situation you’d run into in San Antonio. Not a lot of smart people here.

    • @tamid2225
      @tamid2225 Год назад +1

      I lived there for 20 years. It is soooo true!

  • @oc2538
    @oc2538 Год назад +2

    12:31 Her husband is not a safe place. Leave immediately, this man sounds like he's not even caring about the kids and he may lash out on her if she tries an ultimatum. She needs to go to a safe place with her kids. She had two kids with the wrong guy and had another two again with the wrong guy.

  • @juliaperri6528
    @juliaperri6528 Год назад

    Man I feel for her, I’ve been in her shoes. If you are scared of him and cannot trust his actions, it’s time to leave.

  • @hansonallie
    @hansonallie Год назад +7

    If I were 15 w/ a pregnant mom, I’d probably need a drink or a vape 💨 as well…

  • @Mommykatsvlogs
    @Mommykatsvlogs 6 месяцев назад +1

    😢❤😞😞😞😞😞😞😞 i feel this 1000000000000000000000% im in the same situation except this is my first child and his too and he has given up on life and I lost my insurance and cant go to the appointments but he gives his friend 2,000$ but wont pay for baby appointments so im forced to work at McDonald's to get my insurance back .... Please pray for me im praying for you all too .....

  • @Pocahantes
    @Pocahantes Год назад +4

    Dont trust his family whole heartly they will still side with him

  • @Deans-jm3uf
    @Deans-jm3uf Год назад +14

    My gut says husband is using

    • @umiluv
      @umiluv Год назад +1

      Good insight.

  • @umiluv
    @umiluv Год назад +5

    I’m surprised she didn’t say she had friends or family to talk to. Very sad.

    • @girlygirl1890
      @girlygirl1890 Год назад +1

      @uniluv they probably didn't like him in the first place.

  • @SandraStachowiczLtd
    @SandraStachowiczLtd Год назад +11

    She doesn't have 4 kids in the house, she has 5 😂😂😂
    Edit: She sounds as if someone put her in the washing machine and gave her a good spin. I almost feel sorry for her Except, she needs to choose better next time

    • @Christine-kq9ok
      @Christine-kq9ok Год назад +5

      Next time relationship? Choose better? A single woman with four minor children? Yes, men will be beating down her door to date her, all right.

    • @kayabe856
      @kayabe856 Год назад +4

      She should choose to be alone. Just her and her kids. Be content with being alone

  • @BG-nm5xt
    @BG-nm5xt Год назад

    Omg, what a difficult situation. Should she move closer to her family? Does she have supportive people who can help? She needs to figure out how to get him out. I wonder if he might get threatening towards her. Talk to her counselor and create a plan.

  • @grizzly5592
    @grizzly5592 Год назад

    Great advice

  • @kayn2756
    @kayn2756 Год назад +4

    And now he steals from her to feed his addiction. She married a total prince.

  • @CaToRi-
    @CaToRi- Год назад +3

    Better alone than with bad company

  • @ruanorafa
    @ruanorafa Год назад +1

    I’m surprise dr. John advice was to just leave, if rolls were switched he would advice to support his wife while going through her mental illness. Shows men only value is to provide.

  • @seanfobbs7575
    @seanfobbs7575 Год назад +2

    She would rather have company then no company.. negative attention be no attention. She has a dependent personality

  • @hillmeli
    @hillmeli 11 месяцев назад

    When me and my husband separated and I filed for divorce (after nine years found out he was messing with other women and addicted to porn leading him to pushing me away intimately), I struggled, still struggling a year later. But, getting better. All my bills piled up, almost lost my car...juggled through jobs to get a better income, got my CDL for growth...ALOT! My credit score is bummer right now...but, God willing it will get better. He, on the other hand put nothing into our livelihood because he was preoccupied with his double life: I'm sure he's doing swell...

  • @veronikabrozova
    @veronikabrozova Год назад

    Husband is horrible. But she doesn’t want to break a family as many women don’t. Kids love their dads even if they are not decent people. It will break their little hearts. Even if they understand (later), it still will be an incredibly hard thing to go through now.

  • @umiluv
    @umiluv Год назад +8

    Lol comments section is really really judgmental. They could not and should not be therapists.

    • @SaystheTruth3
      @SaystheTruth3 Год назад +2

      The comment section is open publicly for all kinds of opinions/suggestions...
      Meow lol! 😺

  • @millicentnaominaomi3178
    @millicentnaominaomi3178 Год назад +1

    I need to be on this show! How do I call in?

  • @jacquelynallen488
    @jacquelynallen488 Год назад

    Reach out to the Womens shelter. There are several incl New Braunfels, San Marcos, basically surrounding areas. And they will help you. I agree with other commenters. You need to let him go quietly and quickly. Let him figure out his problems.