Thank you for talking about toxic femininity!!! I’m so tired of people acting like it doesn’t exist. We can be just as unhealthy for men as some men can be for women.
16:26 what about weaponized incompetence? I’ve grown up seeing the women in my family have to take on tons of responsibilities, not because they’re doing it just because they feel like it or they can’t let go, but because the children NEED to be fed and the kitchen NEEDs to be actually clean and not food stuck to everything (that’s *his* version of clean). They explain the right way something has to be done and why 450 times only for them to ignore it. Are they supposed to have a crystal ball to know what their partner will act like once they have children? No. Like, love means shared responsibility and when you have children and a family you can’t just let bygones be bygones so that the man feels loved and tolerated enough and as to not be a “nagging” and “controlling” woman. When you have all of these things in place like marriage and a family it’s not as simple as just pack up and leave and detach and let him be “who he is”. I don’t know. I understand that you probably don’t mean it in that way but to me it seems like you have this inaccurate notion that women take on all of these responsibilities as a choice as opposed to out of necessity. Women “”nag”” because they want a partner and they want to NOT have to always be in control. They DON’T want all the responsibility. They NEED the partner to step up and be an adult. It’s not something that’s done for fun or because they are shrew. Sure, women can be toxic, but I don’t really see that in the kinds of situation that you’re describing because it’s not a treat or something enjoyable to have to do everything or to have to do everything OVER because it’s not adequate. What incentive would women have to bring that on themselves? Why is there more emphasis on how loved the man feels as opposed to how loving he actually shows up?
I agree with you, and I definitely got a little uncomfortable as well once I heard "nagging" because I know a lot of women have this experience and end up being demonized for trying to stand up for themselves. I think though that in the context of the video she's talking about dating rather than already being in a committed relationship or marriage possibly to avoid getting to that point. If two people are only dating, they should have a discussion or possibly end the relationship if it comes down to one person being stuck with all the responsibilities and the other not hearing them out, but I definitely agree that in a marriage/family situation, it's a lot different and unfair to call it nagging. I think she's trying to say it's better to have a conversation than get angry with your partner about it immediately, but if it's something that's already been discussed and the person still continues, that's a larger problem.
@@nina93102 Ya I mean part of the problem too is it can be pretty hard to tell if your bf is gonna be that kind of person or not, it’s not always avoidable. They SEEM responsible but once you settle down w a family, suddenly they’re different. I hear women say all the time “he wasn’t like this before”, “he isn’t the man I married”. We need to stop perpetuating the stereotype of the nagging and controlling women and instead have some compassion for a very difficult circumstance. The problem is the kind of society that makes so many men feel comfortable in that behavior or that they shouldn’t have to do xyz because they’re a man. That’s what needs to change.
Hey Nika really enjoyed this topic! Could you maybe do another Let Them video but with freindships? This is an area where I've really been strugaling lately...
Hi Nika. I never comment on your youtube video but I am subscribed to your channel since you were doing try on haul, story telling your experience in mental hospital, and I felt so inspired by your routine. You fought all of those. Now look at you. You are a different person, sometimes I feel so bad about myself because I feel so trash. I don't watch your video anymore, not because I dislike your content but I just feel so trash hearing the things that I should do. I love you nika!
Actually I'm really interested in the topic you mentioned "toxic masculinity and femininity". I appreciate it if you make a video on this subject. Kinda waiting for 👀
i’ll say this as someone who has ptsd (and i believe nika has had a traumatic childhood herself, from what she has told us) this is NOT the detachment she is talking about. you are thinking about dissociation, but emotional detachment is actually a technique used in therapy to treat trauma and it is very helpful for trauma survivors, because trauma makes people extremely emotionally reactive.
This was so insightful! This is my parent's marriage in a nutshell and i have certainly carried this over into my own relationships. I really needed to hear this and will reflect on what you said.
hey nika! hope u are fine i watched your video on self development that wheel cycle of life it was really helpful and motivating but this one wasn't that action based on informative
The first 500 people to click my link will get a 1 month free trial of Skillshare skl.sh/nikaerculj06241
Girl, can you make a video on friendships? How to attract healthy friendships? Red flags in friendships
Agreeing with this! I'd love to see a video on that
I would also like to have a video about fake friends
I would like to watch a video about that
Thank you for talking about toxic femininity!!! I’m so tired of people acting like it doesn’t exist. We can be just as unhealthy for men as some men can be for women.
I detached without trying but i don't want to be so cold
16:26 what about weaponized incompetence? I’ve grown up seeing the women in my family have to take on tons of responsibilities, not because they’re doing it just because they feel like it or they can’t let go, but because the children NEED to be fed and the kitchen NEEDs to be actually clean and not food stuck to everything (that’s *his* version of clean). They explain the right way something has to be done and why 450 times only for them to ignore it. Are they supposed to have a crystal ball to know what their partner will act like once they have children? No. Like, love means shared responsibility and when you have children and a family you can’t just let bygones be bygones so that the man feels loved and tolerated enough and as to not be a “nagging” and “controlling” woman. When you have all of these things in place like marriage and a family it’s not as simple as just pack up and leave and detach and let him be “who he is”. I don’t know. I understand that you probably don’t mean it in that way but to me it seems like you have this inaccurate notion that women take on all of these responsibilities as a choice as opposed to out of necessity. Women “”nag”” because they want a partner and they want to NOT have to always be in control. They DON’T want all the responsibility. They NEED the partner to step up and be an adult. It’s not something that’s done for fun or because they are shrew. Sure, women can be toxic, but I don’t really see that in the kinds of situation that you’re describing because it’s not a treat or something enjoyable to have to do everything or to have to do everything OVER because it’s not adequate. What incentive would women have to bring that on themselves? Why is there more emphasis on how loved the man feels as opposed to how loving he actually shows up?
I agree with you, and I definitely got a little uncomfortable as well once I heard "nagging" because I know a lot of women have this experience and end up being demonized for trying to stand up for themselves. I think though that in the context of the video she's talking about dating rather than already being in a committed relationship or marriage possibly to avoid getting to that point. If two people are only dating, they should have a discussion or possibly end the relationship if it comes down to one person being stuck with all the responsibilities and the other not hearing them out, but I definitely agree that in a marriage/family situation, it's a lot different and unfair to call it nagging. I think she's trying to say it's better to have a conversation than get angry with your partner about it immediately, but if it's something that's already been discussed and the person still continues, that's a larger problem.
@@nina93102 Ya I mean part of the problem too is it can be pretty hard to tell if your bf is gonna be that kind of person or not, it’s not always avoidable. They SEEM responsible but once you settle down w a family, suddenly they’re different. I hear women say all the time “he wasn’t like this before”, “he isn’t the man I married”. We need to stop perpetuating the stereotype of the nagging and controlling women and instead have some compassion for a very difficult circumstance. The problem is the kind of society that makes so many men feel comfortable in that behavior or that they shouldn’t have to do xyz because they’re a man. That’s what needs to change.
@@bewitchedbylena Yeah I get that. It's definitely a lot deeper of an issue than the video makes it seem like
Wow, definitely going into my essentials playlist. Thanks so much for opening our eyes ❤
Hey Nika really enjoyed this topic! Could you maybe do another Let Them video but with freindships? This is an area where I've really been strugaling lately...
“Let them” has been my mantra lately and WOW it’s been lifechanging! Btw, your hair is GIVING
thank you for this video❤ very helpful
a video about toxic femininity would be super interesting!!
Toxic Femininity video please!
Loved this Video!
Hi Nika. I never comment on your youtube video but I am subscribed to your channel since you were doing try on haul, story telling your experience in mental hospital, and I felt so inspired by your routine. You fought all of those. Now look at you. You are a different person, sometimes I feel so bad about myself because I feel so trash. I don't watch your video anymore, not because I dislike your content but I just feel so trash hearing the things that I should do. I love you nika!
Perfect video for me to watch first thing this morning! 😊
Unrelated, but what is the name of the plant behind you?
Actually I'm really interested in the topic you mentioned "toxic masculinity and femininity". I appreciate it if you make a video on this subject. Kinda waiting for 👀
AMAZING
i really appreciate your honesty on this topics
Detachment shouldnt be a trend, it is actually a form of coping normally related with different traumas...
i’ll say this as someone who has ptsd (and i believe nika has had a traumatic childhood herself, from what she has told us) this is NOT the detachment she is talking about. you are thinking about dissociation, but emotional detachment is actually a technique used in therapy to treat trauma and it is very helpful for trauma survivors, because trauma makes people extremely emotionally reactive.
Yea make that video
Ola güerita eres un amor felicidades.por tu video 💖👐✨😍🇱🇷🇲🇽🎥💯✨
This was so insightful! This is my parent's marriage in a nutshell and i have certainly carried this over into my own relationships. I really needed to hear this and will reflect on what you said.
I really love your videos they are helpful ,easy to understand and joyful
Toxic femininity video would be a great idea 👏🏻
You are my little sister who learning me some basic relationship tips. Danke Nika
hey nika! hope u are fine i watched your video on self development that wheel cycle of life it was really helpful and motivating but this one wasn't that action based on informative
I would love for u to talk about hyper independency and how to let people help u if possible. Plz
I got tears from watching that,
Thank u so much❤
😢
Can you recommend any good book about toxic feminity please? 🙈
Video on toxic feminity please 🎉❤ this sooo important to know about
Can you make a video about childhood trauma? ☺️
Wow 👁️ big eye opener thank you 💕
Hi 👋 Nika Come to Morocco 🇲🇦 make vlogs ❤❤
Please make a video on toxic femininity.
I would like to watch a video about toxic feminity 😇💗
You need busy make good video on this channel
Una hope tengo de agua nacho nika? 🤔 manucha lombre una danho temola
Thank you so much for skil share 🎉❤
I get motivated and do nothing after some days
I needed to hear this
Good morning Nika. Cute top
Thank you for sharing!
Thank you, Nika. :)
I love this video!
Queen is posted 🎀🪄