How to stop wasting time when finding a spouse
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- Опубликовано: 18 сен 2024
- As soon as you match with someone you like, it's time to get serious.
What questions do I need to get answered? How can I bring this up so that it doesn't feel too pushy?
Have an honest conversation about it, and practice being vulnerable.
Wanna work with me to find your spouse? Here's my website, book a consult and let's talk:
www.lamaaboubakr.com/book-online
You are my new favourite RUclipsr! Please continue posting, your videos are helping me so much. JazakiAllah Kheir 🩷✨
Loved it thank you so much
I met a potential back during Ramadan, and we both liked one another. The process we took was essentially what u stated in this video. We both built somewhat of a connection with each other, but her father then called everything off because I wouldn't agree to have music at our wedding. I genuinely liked her, so after that, for the next 2-3 months, I couldn't stop thinking about her.
Alhamdulilah, I have now moved on for the most part, and i have met with a couple of potentials, but none were as religious as the first. I view marriage as a "transaction" in the beginning stages, as u stated, but the girls i spoke to just aren't as practicing, and this is a big issue because I havent been able to get married as a result. I dont have high expectations of a potential, just has to be practicing the deen, and my own personal preference is that she be an Arab like me.
But, It's been so hard to find practicing women here in America.
I have also exhausted all possible methods in looking for a pious spouse, but it's been to no avail
Would u recommend to look overseas, because i honestly dont know where to look anymore.
I am so sorry this happened to you. When the family did not agree with you about the music part, then they and her most probably also, were not a fit for each other anyway. When you are a person who does not listen to music, but she is, your regular lives will clash into each other. That's at least how I think as someone who does not listen to music as well. Even a close family member who listens to music most of her time does not accept this part of me and would always blast music in my car, whenever we are driving somewhere together. Now imagine being with that person all the time. She found her own match and they're also attending concerts together, so to each their own.
I hope you do not give up on your own morals because you have not found the right one yet. Maybe you should not focus on the Arab part as much as this further limits your options. What's more important is the religion. I am not disregarding the culture part though, as it can also play a big factor and as someone who also thinks that I should marry someone out of my own culture, this sounds hypocritical but this would be the advice I would give you.
@MissSraG she didn't listen to music as far as I knew. But she didn't attend our cultural Arab weddings which do have music and freemixing, but I had stated to her that I don't attend this weddings anymore and that I wouldn't want my wife to do so either, and she had agreed to this.
But her father was adamant about having music because he said, "I don't want to attend a funeral." She was the only daughter that he had and he wanted to do a traditional Palestinian wedding for her, but I obviously would never agree to that, even though I did genuinely like her. It honestly pained me to see her hurt after her father ended it, but for personally Allah (SWT) comes before anyone.
Alhamdulilah, I would never waiver on this. My family all called me "hard headed" for not giving in. Some even said that "u don't even like her", but that couldn't be further from the truth. I just don't give and take when it comes to haram, that's a line that I will never cross.
Lastly, I personally am mainly attracted to Arab woman and I also want Arabic to be the main language that's spoken in my house. Marrying a non-arab will honestly make that difficult because non-arabs don't learn Arabic to speak to us native arabs, they learn it for the quran, which is good. But I also need a wife who understands conversational Arabic dialects as well.
I just honestly don't know where to find a good woman anymore.
@MissSraG @MissSraG she didn't listen to music as far as I knew. But she didn't attend our cultural Arab weddings which do have music and freemixing, but I had stated to her that I don't attend this weddings anymore and that I wouldn't want my wife to do so either, and she had agreed to this.
But her father was adamant about having music because he said, "I don't want to attend a funeral." She was the only daughter that he had and he wanted to do a traditional Palestinian wedding for her, but I obviously would never agree to that, even though I did genuinely like her. It honestly pained me to see her hurt after her father ended it, but for personally Allah (SWT) comes before anyone.
Alhamdulilah, I would never waiver on this. My family all called me "hard headed" for not giving in. Some even said that "u don't even like her", but that couldn't be further from the truth. I just don't give and take when it comes to haram, that's a line that I will never cross.
Lastly, I personally am mainly attracted to Arab woman and I also want Arabic to be the main language that's spoken in my house. Marrying a non-arab will honestly make that difficult because non-arabs don't learn Arabic to speak to us native arabs, they learn it for the quran, which is good. But I also need a wife who understands conversational Arabic dialects as well.
I just honestly don't know where to find a good woman anymore.
Awesome - been watching your videos as I’m meeting this new girl iA for marriage. Thank you
Nice ❤
Absouletly correct.❤
❤from Bangladesh
Question is how do you even find people? please don’t recommend apps.
I want to also know how. I’m stuck.
Salam sis, how do I know what are my needs? And how do we talk to one another to know if our needs would be met?
Sister, find a man you feel attracted to, has family relationships and has accountability and can make decisions. You feel safe in their company.
Marry that person. Simple. None of this theoretical wasting time.