I don’t even have a circle. I spent years with a group of “friends” that were the most unempathetic people I’ve ever known. Then I spent years alone. Now I have a few very close friends that are scattered. I’d rather 2 or 3 ride or dies than a group of ppl who don’t get me. ❤️
I’m so glad you were able to find your people, it’s a tough journey but it’s so worth the patience:) better to wait and be around good people than to have people there just to feel less lonely for the time being❤️
When my father was alive he would always say “you will be able to count your real friends on one hand when you get older.” That always stuck with me and held true.
This is so true and that is when I learned how to really love myself. because at the end of the day, you are the only friend that you will always have within yourself
ever since highschool nobody reached out to me, i had to be the first one to reach out, i stopped bothering with ppl. i was alone for a while and surprisingly i became really happy with not having friends, just recently my coworkers have been trying to hang out with me and i first made excuses to not hang out, basically not wanting to make friends and just the other day my buddy pushed me to hang out and it felt great being around ppl making jokes, it felt like being a kid again
I’m sorry that happened:( I get how frustrating it is to be the one constantly reaching out and making plans, I’m glad you found happiness within yourself after that:) it definitely will make sure your next relationships end up more healthy! And that’s really good
I have 0 friends and I’m in my 20s. I prefer having a close circle with real people then be around fake people that create drama. You seem a lot like me. Embrace it and be happy to be your true self
I have at least two friends now. I’m losing my other friends because I feel depressed. Depression causes you to lose friendships. It sucks, but it happens. 😢
I can ABSOLUTELY relate to this video. I’ve struggled with creating/maintaining friendships as an adult. As you said, it’s hard because as adults (especially those of us who are married), we’re busy living our lives out here trying to survive. As someone growing and changing, it is harder to maintain some friendships I’ve had all of my life. I’m not the same person I was, and that is a good thing. Lastly, trust has become a bigger issue as I get older (I’m 35 btw). Because of life and some things I’ve learned, I don’t trust as easily as I used to, and that becomes another reason why making friends as an adult is so hard for me. This video was perfect, and it reminds me of why the creation of the internet is sooooo major because it reminds me everyday that someone else in the world is going through the same thing I am. Thanks again for the video!
Thank you so much for your comment Bennett:) it really helped me feel less alone in this as well. It was my pleasure, and I'm really happy your were able to relate
i realized that for adult friendships to form, grow, and continue you need people who are committed to regular socializing and see that as one of their priorities. As I got older lot of my adult friendships dwindled, which is okay because they're busy with their own families and work. I realized I'm a kind of person who needs community and needs to be around others even though I'm pretty independent and do spend a lot of time alone. So I started going out to meetups around hobbies and interests and realized there were people who were like me, who really value a sense of community and see it as one of their priorities so they put in effort and time to foster sense of community and forming that connection. I see these people more often now than my original friends who I see like...4 times a year maybe lol. I think it's about different people having different needs. I think when something is important to you you make time for it. So if you meet people who value the same things you do and have the same level of commitment then it grows into connections and friendships which I found really interesting. For me sense of community is critical so it was really great to meet other people who see things the same way. I think childhood friendships just form naturally and you dont need effort. But adult friendships I think form between those who see sense of community as essential and is willing to be committed to have that in their life. Like people I got to know and connect as an adult, they're the people who make time and effort to show up consistently. They were very committed, just like me.
You nailed it, that's why I don't mess with this video. It's rationalizing a bleak life. "Maybe different people just can't be friends." Like what kinda message bruh
I’m married, work full time and have a one year old son, and I still crave friendship/consistent communication with friends. I only have one close friend and lately she’s been distant. I think she is going through her own personal issues so I understand, but even though I am also busy, I would still make time for socializing with people if there were people to socialize with. What I don’t have is the time to build new friendships from the ground up because I don’t have the freedom to go out to events etc. It would be better if I already had a solid group of friends that I could schedule coffee with. It sucks.
@@missfefeloves I tried a lot of things like Ive looked into my interests and hobbies, like local meetups, fb groups, classes, church....it took a while to find people that I really resonated with and fit well in and also feel safe around. It takes time and lot of different tries. It also has to be an activity/area that you're very interested in and you can be dedicated for a longggg time, because consistency and patience is everything. Real friendships take time to build, it's really not this instant thing social media portrays to be like u just click a button and follow them i really realized you dont need to go to loads of different things, just find 1 or 2 groups/club kind of thing that you really like and can stick to, and just show up consistently and be around same group of people regularly. and remember you just need to make 1 or 2 new friends. Being an adult is so busy we dont really have time for loads of friends and parties anyway. Contrary to what media lets us believe having few close friends is all we need to get by
It’s just recently, I realized that I only have “good time friends”. I thought I had good ones, but actually I never needed help most of the time though I’ve always been the one call away friend. I’m the kind of person who would give financial support to my friends and I am a good listener. And lately, I have come up to a realization that all I ever needed from them was a good quality time and a substantial conversation. But you know what? I never had one, because I always end up being drained from the conflict of interest we had. They would always talk about boys or other people,invite me to party but I wanted to do was share a cup of coffee with them. Sometimes end up adjusting just to fit in. And now that I’m older and had a little more space for myself, I have decided to cut them off and be more comfortable being alone. So the truth is, we were just friends because I had something to share to them, but once I have nothing to give, they won’t even spend time messaging how am I. But my life is better now. It’s more meaningful now that I don’t have to try fitting in. So yes, it’s okay to have little to no friends! ❤️
I’m really sorry you went through that❤️ I’m really glad you were able to find peace in happiness within yourself:) it is so important to be content with ourselves without any external forces:) doesn’t mean we don’t let anyone into our lives, just that we are selective and okay with being alone until we truly find the people that are worth it
For me I was actually addicted to social interaction because I was ignoring what was truly going on inside, I was a social butterfly to the max. Now I totally get what you’re saying in that you feel drained if you know everyone all the time. I had to find beauty in solitude and I did. Thanks for this video!
I used to feel bad for not having a large scale and for not being that good at making new friends. But now I’m good with it because I accepted that we’re built different and there’s no need to rush into things. The right ones will come when the time is right.
Totally agree with treating friendships with the care and respect you'd put into a romantic relationship. I feel like without even realizing, you are made up of all the little pieces of the people you surround yourself with - which is why I think it's so important to surround yourself with good company. So proud and happy to see your growth, and that you're able to share this with others so they don't feel alone. 🥺 PS: These are my favourite kind of videos
Exactly🥰I never realize how much the people around influence me until I really look back at it or hang out with new people that are different from what I’m used to:) Thank you girl, I love you sm, you are 100% the friend I was talking about that I can’t see often but still cherish sm❤️ I’m glad you liked it, I always get nervous posting just talking ones hehe 🤭
I haven't got a circle of friends in school that hears, and makes me feel important in a group. I am the type to be shy meeting people from the start but will be slowly comfortable to them. Unforunately I am soft spoken. I am courageous to try to stand out to my friends but then I'm too small and soft to hear that I don't get the attention or someone can easily cut my conversation. It sucks because you feel like a ghost. I wish to have at least one friend to supports me and talk to me.
You're not alone. Feeling invisible can be tough but I hope you know you're loved and deserve friends who support you. If you ever need someone to talk to, you can talk to me, if you want
You really aren’t alone❤️I was also very shy and soft spoken growing up and it was hard to get people to hear me or listen to me. I hope you don’t give up trying to have your voice heard, because trust me I know what you have to say has value. I never thought that people cared about me or what I had to say for so long and it felt pointless, but please don’t give up, you will find your people one day I promise❤️
i’m glad i found this channel. this video is very soothing and it made me cry. I’m 25 and a mom of two but ever since I’m very introvert. I don’t really have friends. I only have my partner and my babies which i’m very happy and motivates me everyday. its kind of sad sometimes not having real friends but still hoping to find one ♥️🇵🇭🌸
Hi❤️ im so glad you’re here:)) & im happy I was able to give you some comfort, you are so strong and I know you must be a great mother by the way you describe what your kids mean to you
I definitely relate to this video. I realized the "friends" I had in the past weren't actual friends at all and I kept them in my life and did what they want regardless of my feelings so I could have a "friend" but now I have 2 friends who I actually consider my friends and shown that I do matter and that they value my friendship and I value theirs even thought they are miles away. I truly don't have time for meaningless friendships now that I am 25.
Adult friendships are complex, much like friendships we’ve formed as children. I too don’t have a lot of people in my life whom I can genuinely call my close friends. You just can’t tell whether those people are actually true to you or not or if those people actually have good intentions in mind. Since the pandemic began, I kinda lost touch with my friends. I ended up focusing on myself instead. Anyway, your insights are raw and honest. Would love to hear more from you.
this really resonates with me. i feel less alone knowing there's others going through the same things as me. i only have one true friend now. but i wouldn't trade that for a huge circle of superficial friendships.
as im navigating early adulthood, and im nearing the end of my undergrad journey, I've been thinking more and more about friendships. this is something that I've struggled with throughout my life. i used to tolerate a lot of mistreatment and people over-stepping my boundaries because i didn't want to be alone. but as i got older (and with the help of therapy) i realized that i need to be more selective because im like a sponge as well; it's super easy for me to absorb people's energies and emotions. i've never been drawn to surface-level friendships and the moment i notice that we're not clicking as deeply as i'd like, i would almost subconsciously decide that it wasn't going to work out and i'd move on. i was told that maybe i was being too picky, but honestly? there's nothing wrong with that. not having lots of people in my life who i can comfortably call my friend does get lonely sometimes, but it's way better than putting myself through all the mental anguish i put myself though when i was younger.
People come and go. It's so interesting seeing people share their life stories and experiences. I can definitely relate with this. I'm 20 years old (can't believe it lol) and I realized that I gotta judge things so that they'll follow along as I like them to. I too can be very, very nostalgic and that is kinda how I retreat from the fast-paced, hustling and bustling world we live in today, and it's also my drive and motivation (weird. I know.) Besides that, it's great to relate and connect with others, especially on this platform since we come from different backgrounds and go various paths, ultimately connecting us at the end of the day. Stay blessed and awesome. Have a great day.
I feel so relieved and less lonely now. Thank you so much for talking about this! This transition from teenage years to adulthood feels so hard.. Forcing old relationships to keep working when values and ideas don't align anymore is stressful. Thank God now I'm okay with my loving boyfriend and a few friends, and new boundaries too. I'm also guilty of forgiving people that I've known forever just to keep the peace and avoid drama, but it was making me sick and contributing to my anxiety as well. We have to take care of ourselves.
ty so much made me realize my one sided friendships. those friendships were " unequally yoked ”. Accept both sides growth and let them go. And I realize that I was just not accepting my growth and their growth too.
Hi Michelle! I appreciate your message. When I was in high school (which was a long time ago haha), someone looked at my yearbook and saw I didn't have that many signatures yet. I had just gotten the yearbook. He said you must not have that many friends. It really hurt and maybe cut more because I too am the type to prioritize quality rather than quantity of friends. Our culture seems to prioritize size and quantity of social circle. As I grew older (I'm in my thirties), I'm able to realize that the investment I made in the smaller circle I have has paid off. I have friends that I've known for 20 years. I didn't realize that was not common. I've seen them go through many seasons of life, and I too have gone through different stages. And I keep meeting new people along the way. I think everyone has a pace and style, and I learned to honor that for myself. Thanks for this empowering message!
my circle of friends keep changing ever since childhood. I only have small circle of friends at a given time and usually we do common things that's why we hang out together. It came to a point that most of them had different path and some had already started a family. Right now, I only have this one friend which I share the same journey and path in life. But for the most part, I don't have any friends to hang out with. To be fair, it's my own doing I don't have much people surrounding me, it's a life long insecurities that I had that's keeping me away from lots of people. I'm 32 years old btw so the insecurities kept on building up because I feel like I'm getting left behind. I'm currently trying to change it, and my only friend is there helping me.
Such a relatable video as I enter my mid 20s soon, Im honestly fine with just a small friend group that I still connect with after Highschool. That's just life, friends come and go but the real ones will find their way back to you wanting to rebuild that connection. Thank you for posting this video, keep up the great work.
this coming up on my recommended right after seeing the close friends i grew apart from moving into a flat together... ooft i knew it was happening, i had come to terms with it happening, but _seeing_ it happen? was definitely a knife to the chest. it's been a long year of discovering who i am and who i'm not but i hope now i can finally move on.
We exist in groups that are too big. We evolved to be in groups of 100-200, once we got bigger than that we split up. Now we live in enormously packed city centres, often meeting tonnes of new people every day and making "friends" with people who really don't know us at all and have no reason to be loyal. The problem is that people are by our nature status obsessed, so the possibility of all these new "friends" also presents the possibility (or perhaps illusion) of increased social status, and so it's normal now to chop and change your friend groups pretty regularly, which means that when times are good you have all sorts going on, but when times are bad you realise you have no one around that actually cares.
This video resonated so much it’s crazy 😭 Now that I’m an adult, I only have so much time to invest in my relationships, so I have no choice but to be selective with who I surround myself with. I’m really grateful for what you said in this video, because it’s just further confirmation that the direction I’m heading in navigating my friendships and relationships is the right way to go! 💕
This video vocalized a lot of what I've been feeling lately with one friend in particular. We've been friends for years and as we're growing up we don't have time to see each other like we used to. Then I remember, like you, I have gone through many friendships where this is bound to happen. So I think it's important to add to the conversation, that along with choosing whether or not to fight for certain relationships, you can't force anything. Sometimes friends just grow apart and people gradually fade out of your life.
not an adult yet, but this video was rly comforting and relatable to think about it now, the people I am very attached to sometimes don't actually seem like the best friends to me anymore and I dont wanna continue to be their second options when their other friends aren't with them, or to be practically under their control in the friendship. Ive lost a lot of my best friends and it's helped me realise things. I just need to work on myself and should stop trying to find a friend in everyone I know because no one rly understands me at the moment and I should suck it up :') ps the mic is perfect for me :)
It only makes me appreciate the real friends that I have. The ones that are happy to just see me, they’re interested in whats going on in my life, they take care of me. You don’t need a whole lot and thats a good thing
Your videos are oddly comforting to me, i can listen to you ramble and still be able to keep up with what you say because its like your taking my thoughts from my brain and saying it out loud
You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting for something I never knew I was waiting for! This reminds me of the saying, “There are people who are the journey but not the destination.” My thoughts are enlightened! Hope to see more x Thanks Michelle
To me, I used to please everyone because of insecurity. But at the end I want to maintain relationships with people who appreciate me for being me. Having laughs and laid back are what I value the most.
I really needed to hear this today. I've been struggling with finding friends of my own after losing touch with my core group of friends when we all went to college. I made new friends, but in that, also got into a relationship with my now partner, who was "friends with them first." Because they were a group of friends first, I've really been struggling with feeling like I don't belong, even though they have always treated me as important and valuable. I started a somewhat desperate attempt to find friends that were completely separate from that friend group, but haven't really clicked with anyone beyond a surface level, which has been really weighing me down lately. Hearing your experiences about a small friend group and values of friendship rather than quantity as well as the difficulty of adult relationships really resonated with me, especially since I've been operating under the assumption that everyone makes friends so easily or that everyone keeps their childhood friends close. I hope you and anyone reading this is doing well and taking care. Rooting for all of us on our journeys into adulthood and the beautiful, meaningful relationships to come!!
I really struggled with my friend groups in high school. Every year it was like I had to find a new group, because I either drifted away from the old one or the old friends became toxic towards me. In college, I've made few friends and I just got out of a 1 1/2 year toxic relationship where I became more and more isolated from existing friends and even my own family. Now I'm trying to rebuild those connections. It's tough! I relate to so much of what you said in this video. Thank you for sharing your experiences.
I don’t have any friends except my dad and I’m FINALLY good with that at age 38! In fact, embracing it has me feeling more like my authentic self than ever before.
Holy crap you honestly put out a lot of how I felt about my friends in these past years. Although I'm just a freshman in highschool I've had such an unlucky time with friends. I ended up dropping toxic people who I didn't want to associate which left me empty for a time period until I figured out I could rise above them and really talk to the people who have the same values as me. And yeah it can get lonely for sure but I'd rather be lonely then surrounded by people who don't make me a better person 5:46
I resonate with this so much. After few years ago, I had a bunch of friends and more than half of them didn't care about me. Now, in my mid 20s I've realised that it's okay to have 2-3 close friends rather than 10-20 who don't care about you. But it's difficult, difficult to maintain friendships and resolve differences. I'm going through this with 2 of my friends. We meet once it twice a year after a dozen plans get cancelled. I held on to a few things that disappointed me but I didn't address it. Until now. Which is why we're having differences. I fear loosing them. I really do. I hope things work out between us.
I resonate with this a lot. Recently turned into an adult, and some of my closest friends from highschool are going into different universities. It feels like I’m going back to square one. Creating friendships is only half of the struggle that maintaining friendships entails, which made me realize why I don’t keep a lot of people in my circle. I’m always thankful though for the ones who stay. Btw, this might be really random, but I’m curious about your MBTI type since I feel like I resonate with your thoughts a lot. Would you mind sharing it if you like? Anyways, thanks for this wonderful video!
I feel you, that was my exact experience. I think people don’t realize how much it actually takes to create a healthy friendship until you’re actually in the midst of it, but I’m glad you have the few people who stuck around
I only have 2 good friends. 🙂 And that's that. It's difficult but if someone wants you in their life...they make time for you. Even a simple text is good if you're a busy person. But meeting every now and then is a must if you're willing to keep somebody around.
Thank you for this video! I'm 26 and it has been 3 years as I'm struggling with friendship. I had to relocate to another country when I was 19 due to the war in my home city and had to build my life from the scratch so when things finally started to feel better after 5 years, I realized I lost my old friends and I didn't gain new ones. After that I started to try to connect to old friends and make new ones but it is very difficult. Everyone has already close, best friends and in the country where I live it's kind of difficult cuz the society is quite closed (I live in Finland) and in general meeting people is quite difficult plus pandemic. I endured into self-pittines and used to say myself that I don't have friends because I'm a bad person and something is wrong with me. I try not to think this way too much even though I still have these thoughts. I still haven't made close friends, but I really tried at least, not like I was doing nothing. The more I tried the more I realize that having good people in your life is a big blessing but it also could be disturbing to find yourself in a way. I have seen throughout my life how God was blessing me and carrying me on so I just hope it is not the situation forever and God will show me the way. May God bless us all and give us a good and true friends!
Damn this really resonates with me. Next year, I’m going to another country to finish my senior year of college and kinda nervous I’ll be alone with no friends. Glad to see I’m not alone.
Quality is over quantity, being around the wrong people can be draining and can make you view yourself in a dark light when in reality it’s not you those people just don’t align with your values.
This video was beautiful, it really made me get clarity on a lot of decisions I've recently made. Initially I did not regret it, I was happy and proud of myself for growing and letting go of relationships that were not meaningful for me anymore. Once time started to pass, I wondered if I did the right thing. But this video gave me clarity. I did do the right thing, and it's ok even if I don't have a large circle. My small circle is healthy and good for me. Thank you so much for this video :)
I have a few friends that I only see a couple times a year and one very close childhood friend who I see every few weeks but I would say my best friend is my younger sister. I love spending time with her and over the past few years our relationship has only grown stronger. She’s someone I can put my full trust in and I don’t know what I would do without her!
I have 0 friends. Sometimes I crave for someone who'd listen what happened to me whole day. But then it's okay,life goes on and good people will find you of you stay humble and you'll also recognise who is real 😊
I genuinely love when creators make videos like this because it creates a space for similar people to share their experiences. Everyone I interact with in my life is very social except for me so I feel very out of place most of the time and tbh many days I ask myself why I’m like this. I grew up with people asking me why I have no friends and still to this day the question comes up. Truth is, I have no energy to socialize with people unless I feel that I can trust this person (which doesn’t happen often). Watching this video and reading the comments makes me feel so understood 🥲❤
Love your videos!! I'm currently going through this right now and I relate to everything you've said ❤. Thank you for always being so insightful and providing such great advice and perspective each video. I love listening to people my age with the same views or experiences and learning from them ❤
I want to reach out to maintain the friendships I had, but it sucks when you don't drive. My goal this year is to drive on my own and be able to meet up with old friends and make new friends wherever I can go
growing pains are so difficult!! I’m at a stage in my life where I am constantly questioning all my relationships. My therapist said you can outgrow your friends and still be their friend but I feel like I’m at a point where I feel like I can’t. It really does hurt to acknowledge that though. We all grow up and want different things because we are different people, but acknowledging that and letting go of the comfort you’ve known for a good portion of ur life is hard 🥲 but it’s so mentally exhausting staying in these relationships, especially when it doesn’t feel fulfilling anymore.
As a 25 year old the only reason I have a big social circle now compared to a few years ago is I just got lucky meeting cool people at concerts/events. A lot of friendships and relationships are based on luck
Stuff like this is why I subscribed to you....we've been going through pretty much the same realization processes. It's beautiful to see someone else who understands these things.
First of all, sorry for my English, I use google translate. I don't have any friends. It used to be, but it's getting less and less. I'm 20 years old and I have no one. I'm always at home because I'm bored of going out alone. I realized that I like to be alone because that way no one can upset me. I am happy alone. But when I'm alone among people, I feel bad, they all look at me and it feels like they're hurting. I went into depression thinking that I was a problem person especially for 2 years. I thought a lot about dying because my existence was meaningless. but i accepted that i can't do that, i'm not that brave. I feel so helpless right now, I'm looking for a solution but I can't find it.
hey ece, I also don’t have friends and I’m 19. Hang in there! I know it’s hard, but just know I feel the same way and that there is someone who’s dealing with the same thing as you. hopefully that makes you feel less alone :)
No be the spiritual girl!! I get that 💯% energy is everything and ever since meeting a good friend of mine whose energy is high positivity it's hard for me to find value in any other kind of relationship with others. It's amazing you have a small circle I'm at 1 but I do get wanting a bit more 🙂 also the difficulty of finding said people is something. I've put myself out there a lot lately and people have not been matching the frequency I'm at but I trust the universe to bring me my people and hope the same for you if you do want more that is!
As an only child i grew up to become very independent. It’s a common saying that the people you surround yourself with are indeed the people that influence you and for some people its true. But because ive become so independent my friends are very diverse in terms of interests, personalities and traits and I’ve become so comfortable on my own that i have by now a solid foundation in who i am that my friends dont really have an influence over me.
I havent finished the whole video yet but even the caption itself and watching it even just halfways helps me for I feel like I am talking to someone that knows what I am currently preasuring myself into, I just wanted ti say thank you and may my feelings and hearing heal and return to me💐
I agree with you so much. I know lots of people and sometimes I feel myself drained talking to them. Like it’s not like their boring people but sometimes I just feel tired and I want to be alone and I find it funny because last year I was that person who was alone yet now that I have friends I feel drained, tired, and a bit empty to be honest.
I'm 25 and have 6 people who I consider my closest friends. All of them I met before college. I would love to make some new friends, but I feel that I cannot open up to new people... On one hand, I'm grateful to have these two circles of friend groups (one from high school, one from childhood), on the other, it makes me anxious that maybe I will never make any new friends again. I hope it's not the case... but only time will tell.
I m a teen with 0 friends. Except, it makes me feel miserable, empty and lonely. I cry almost every other day, cause I have no one to lean on, no one to take support from. No one, to have fun conversations with, and just have regular fun. I wish I was happy being alone
I’ve lost my friend group recently, I felt disposable when I left saying I needed some time, only to be spammed very very untrue things about my character. I do not wish harm on them the same way they did for me. I hope the best for them, even if they’ve left me on my own.. they aren’t my only lifeline and I am happy with my own company. I trust I will find people who will value and care unconditionally :)
Ran into your video about leaving social media because I was aimlessly scrolling through RUclips because I’ve been letting go of social media… glad you pointed out how your mindset and environment can control your life because it’s just been one of those days where I’m trying to focus more on the positive. But the energy will eventually even itself out and life will go on as it was meant to be for all of us 🙏🏽
Thank you Michelle for this video. I can definitely relate to this a lot. I have struggled maintaining friendships most of my adult life (Years alone with no firends, never got invited to events or parties), especially now I am 32 years old. 5 years ago, got married and moved from the UK to Germany to live with my husband (who works as a doctor) . It was really hard for me to adopt the culture, especially with the language itself. (German is not an easy language btw). As we get older as adults, our lives are busy with responsibilities and trying to accept change. I am so tied introducing myself from the start when trying to make friends. I have realised less circle of friends is better than more. Again thank you for sharing ;)
Hey , so I’m 16 and when I was 13 I moved to live in another country and then I had a few friends that we don’t talk anymore and now I don’t have any friends but I’m in really good connection with my mother and siblings (my mom is very open and me and my siblings are almost in the same age), and all my life I spent a lot of time with my family, but I feel bad for not having any friends and I tried to make friends in school but they are fake and I feel lonely and different
michelle, thank you. i just went through a hard time recently recounting how i have a very small circle and how it is not very well normalized, so i used to feel like i need to be more extroverted and force myself to make more friends? like, i love doing so, i still prefer a smaller and much more meaningful friendships 💗💗
This Was Relatable , I Always Say I Rather Have 2 Real Friends Than 200 Fake Friends Yasss Making Friends As An Adult Can Be Emotional Draining , It’s Important To Stay True To Who You Are & Great Video 💛❤️💙
thank you so much for sharing these kinds of videos on the internet. watching you is just like having a conversation with a friend about life and relationships. looking forward to more videos like these!
This video gave me such an amazing vibe, its so calm and lovely and quite profound. Its so nice to listen to someone talk about this subject. And u made it really wholesome. Thank youu♡
I love how you've framed friends with the same thoughtful we'd frame a relationship. I think that's really beautiful. My favourite quote you shared was "It's easy to forget the things we can control -- our mindset and our environment -- because we focus on what we can't (e.g. other people's emotions)"
I've never wanted a large circle of friends, not my thing I wouldn't be able to keep up. All I want is loyal and supportive ppl that give back what I give in, but I'm beginning to think I'm just supposed to be alone for now, maybe later idk when, maybe then I'll form meaningful attachments
Recently I just went through a fall out with my Friend Group Since High School. Nothing crazy happened, but after the actions of some people, I no longer talk to them like how I used to before the events. No one really ever talks about Friend Break Ups, because those hit just as hard if not HARDER than a romantic break up. While most of the time we focus on the people we lost, and how we no longer talk to them, or create memories the same way we used to, we tend to find more time for ourselves. Like Michelle said, we don't have these boundaries developed when we're younger, so when we're older and we do create these boundaries, some people might get upset. But it's important to understand that these Boundaries are for you to use so you can choose who you allow into your life. Because the people you choose to allow in your life, are the people who will make you who you are.
wow i never thought anyone else would understand what i feel, i always see people with huge friend groups and are able to maintain those groups honestly my only friend is my boyfriend
I related to this video so much. I’m in my senior year of high school. My boyfriend and best friend, whom I’ve known since middle school broke up with me. It feels weird not talking to them anymore when I used to daily. I focused all my attention on my relationship more than friendships and lost touch with many. With college applications approaching and the thought of sitting alone at lunch without a support system or friend is making me anxious.
hehe sorry for the reupload
I loved it🥺❤️ btw I think the odio was good💫
What mic did you use in this video?
I can edit your videos for you I just need the right price
@@albertsstuffreuploads4844 hi:) im not really looking for an editor rn but thank you!
@@rosrae7971 thank you sm
I don’t even have a circle. I spent years with a group of “friends” that were the most unempathetic people I’ve ever known. Then I spent years alone. Now I have a few very close friends that are scattered.
I’d rather 2 or 3 ride or dies than a group of ppl who don’t get me. ❤️
same here i don’t have a circle too. which is kind of sad sometimes but still hoping to find real friends 🌸
I’m so glad you were able to find your people, it’s a tough journey but it’s so worth the patience:) better to wait and be around good people than to have people there just to feel less lonely for the time being❤️
Strongly relate
Yo group friends that were unempathetic is so relatable like I was just going back for a connection that wasn't there
Same. Spent years together since we're '"squad" but felt secluded.
When my father was alive he would always say “you will be able to count your real friends on one hand when you get older.” That always stuck with me and held true.
Your Dad was very wise and 100% correct. Describes me to a T at age 56...and I couldn't be happier 👍🏼
wow.. your father sure was amazing!
This is so true and that is when I learned how to really love myself. because at the end of the day, you are the only friend that you will always have within yourself
A small group of close friends is better than a large group of not so close friends.
ever since highschool nobody reached out to me, i had to be the first one to reach out, i stopped bothering with ppl. i was alone for a while and surprisingly i became really happy with not having friends, just recently my coworkers have been trying to hang out with me and i first made excuses to not hang out, basically not wanting to make friends and just the other day my buddy pushed me to hang out and it felt great being around ppl making jokes, it felt like being a kid again
I’m sorry that happened:( I get how frustrating it is to be the one constantly reaching out and making plans, I’m glad you found happiness within yourself after that:) it definitely will make sure your next relationships end up more healthy! And that’s really good
I have 0 friends and I’m in my 20s. I prefer having a close circle with real people then be around fake people that create drama. You seem a lot like me. Embrace it and be happy to be your true self
Same here
Same
I have at least two friends now. I’m losing my other friends because I feel depressed. Depression causes you to lose friendships. It sucks, but it happens. 😢
i have 0 friends too but i’m 17 😅
I recommend meeting people through interests, classes, and clubs.
I can ABSOLUTELY relate to this video. I’ve struggled with creating/maintaining friendships as an adult. As you said, it’s hard because as adults (especially those of us who are married), we’re busy living our lives out here trying to survive. As someone growing and changing, it is harder to maintain some friendships I’ve had all of my life. I’m not the same person I was, and that is a good thing. Lastly, trust has become a bigger issue as I get older (I’m 35 btw). Because of life and some things I’ve learned, I don’t trust as easily as I used to, and that becomes another reason why making friends as an adult is so hard for me. This video was perfect, and it reminds me of why the creation of the internet is sooooo major because it reminds me everyday that someone else in the world is going through the same thing I am. Thanks again for the video!
Thank you so much for your comment Bennett:) it really helped me feel less alone in this as well. It was my pleasure, and I'm really happy your were able to relate
I hope you get to meet Friends who truly are nice and empathetic!
i realized that for adult friendships to form, grow, and continue you need people who are committed to regular socializing and see that as one of their priorities. As I got older lot of my adult friendships dwindled, which is okay because they're busy with their own families and work. I realized I'm a kind of person who needs community and needs to be around others even though I'm pretty independent and do spend a lot of time alone. So I started going out to meetups around hobbies and interests and realized there were people who were like me, who really value a sense of community and see it as one of their priorities so they put in effort and time to foster sense of community and forming that connection. I see these people more often now than my original friends who I see like...4 times a year maybe lol. I think it's about different people having different needs. I think when something is important to you you make time for it. So if you meet people who value the same things you do and have the same level of commitment then it grows into connections and friendships which I found really interesting. For me sense of community is critical so it was really great to meet other people who see things the same way.
I think childhood friendships just form naturally and you dont need effort. But adult friendships I think form between those who see sense of community as essential and is willing to be committed to have that in their life. Like people I got to know and connect as an adult, they're the people who make time and effort to show up consistently. They were very committed, just like me.
Thank you! You’re post really resonated with me and I appreciate you putting words to something I’ve been feeling! Have a wonderful day!
You nailed it, that's why I don't mess with this video. It's rationalizing a bleak life. "Maybe different people just can't be friends." Like what kinda message bruh
Where did you go to form these communities? I'm trying to do the exact same thing by going to social events and joining hobby groups.
I’m married, work full time and have a one year old son, and I still crave friendship/consistent communication with friends. I only have one close friend and lately she’s been distant. I think she is going through her own personal issues so I understand, but even though I am also busy, I would still make time for socializing with people if there were people to socialize with. What I don’t have is the time to build new friendships from the ground up because I don’t have the freedom to go out to events etc. It would be better if I already had a solid group of friends that I could schedule coffee with. It sucks.
@@missfefeloves I tried a lot of things like Ive looked into my interests and hobbies, like local meetups, fb groups, classes, church....it took a while to find people that I really resonated with and fit well in and also feel safe around. It takes time and lot of different tries. It also has to be an activity/area that you're very interested in and you can be dedicated for a longggg time, because consistency and patience is everything. Real friendships take time to build, it's really not this instant thing social media portrays to be like u just click a button and follow them i really realized
you dont need to go to loads of different things, just find 1 or 2 groups/club kind of thing that you really like and can stick to, and just show up consistently and be around same group of people regularly. and remember you just need to make 1 or 2 new friends. Being an adult is so busy we dont really have time for loads of friends and parties anyway. Contrary to what media lets us believe having few close friends is all we need to get by
It’s just recently, I realized that I only have “good time friends”. I thought I had good ones, but actually I never needed help most of the time though I’ve always been the one call away friend. I’m the kind of person who would give financial support to my friends and I am a good listener. And lately, I have come up to a realization that all I ever needed from them was a good quality time and a substantial conversation. But you know what? I never had one, because I always end up being drained from the conflict of interest we had. They would always talk about boys or other people,invite me to party but I wanted to do was share a cup of coffee with them. Sometimes end up adjusting just to fit in. And now that I’m older and had a little more space for myself, I have decided to cut them off and be more comfortable being alone. So the truth is, we were just friends because I had something to share to them, but once I have nothing to give, they won’t even spend time messaging how am I.
But my life is better now. It’s more meaningful now that I don’t have to try fitting in. So yes, it’s okay to have little to no friends! ❤️
I’m really sorry you went through that❤️ I’m really glad you were able to find peace in happiness within yourself:) it is so important to be content with ourselves without any external forces:) doesn’t mean we don’t let anyone into our lives, just that we are selective and okay with being alone until we truly find the people that are worth it
I can relate by for me I cut that friend off immediately I noticed they tried to use to use me
For me I was actually addicted to social interaction because I was ignoring what was truly going on inside, I was a social butterfly to the max. Now I totally get what you’re saying in that you feel drained if you know everyone all the time. I had to find beauty in solitude and I did. Thanks for this video!
Am going through solitude,, and am trying my best to keep it that way, but its hard
I used to feel bad for not having a large scale and for not being that good at making new friends. But now I’m good with it because I accepted that we’re built different and there’s no need to rush into things. The right ones will come when the time is right.
Yessss :-)
A small circle is all I want. I literally have no one to talk to or do anything with
I hope u have one in future
Me too
Totally agree with treating friendships with the care and respect you'd put into a romantic relationship. I feel like without even realizing, you are made up of all the little pieces of the people you surround yourself with - which is why I think it's so important to surround yourself with good company.
So proud and happy to see your growth, and that you're able to share this with others so they don't feel alone. 🥺
PS: These are my favourite kind of videos
Exactly🥰I never realize how much the people around influence me until I really look back at it or hang out with new people that are different from what I’m used to:)
Thank you girl, I love you sm, you are 100% the friend I was talking about that I can’t see often but still cherish sm❤️
I’m glad you liked it, I always get nervous posting just talking ones hehe 🤭
I haven't got a circle of friends in school that hears, and makes me feel important in a group. I am the type to be shy meeting people from the start but will be slowly comfortable to them. Unforunately I am soft spoken. I am courageous to try to stand out to my friends but then I'm too small and soft to hear that I don't get the attention or someone can easily cut my conversation. It sucks because you feel like a ghost. I wish to have at least one friend to supports me and talk to me.
You're not alone. Feeling invisible can be tough but I hope you know you're loved and deserve friends who support you. If you ever need someone to talk to, you can talk to me, if you want
same here i don’t have a circle too. which is kind of sad sometimes but still hoping to find real friends 🌸
You really aren’t alone❤️I was also very shy and soft spoken growing up and it was hard to get people to hear me or listen to me. I hope you don’t give up trying to have your voice heard, because trust me I know what you have to say has value. I never thought that people cared about me or what I had to say for so long and it felt pointless, but please don’t give up, you will find your people one day I promise❤️
you will have the people who support you I promise, this happened in my life
i’m glad i found this channel. this video is very soothing and it made me cry. I’m 25 and a mom of two but ever since I’m very introvert. I don’t really have friends. I only have my partner and my babies which i’m very happy and motivates me everyday. its kind of sad sometimes not having real friends but still hoping to find one ♥️🇵🇭🌸
Hi❤️ im so glad you’re here:)) & im happy I was able to give you some comfort, you are so strong and I know you must be a great mother by the way you describe what your kids mean to you
As I'm now entering my mid-20s, I can totally relate. My circle of friends is very small, and I truly value them and these kinds of friendships. ♥
It’s honestly the best❤️and I wouldn’t want to have it any other way:)
I definitely relate to this video. I realized the "friends" I had in the past weren't actual friends at all and I kept them in my life and did what they want regardless of my feelings so I could have a "friend" but now I have 2 friends who I actually consider my friends and shown that I do matter and that they value my friendship and I value theirs even thought they are miles away. I truly don't have time for meaningless friendships now that I am 25.
Adult friendships are complex, much like friendships we’ve formed as children. I too don’t have a lot of people in my life whom I can genuinely call my close friends. You just can’t tell whether those people are actually true to you or not or if those people actually have good intentions in mind. Since the pandemic began, I kinda lost touch with my friends. I ended up focusing on myself instead. Anyway, your insights are raw and honest. Would love to hear more from you.
this really resonates with me. i feel less alone knowing there's others going through the same things as me. i only have one true friend now. but i wouldn't trade that for a huge circle of superficial friendships.
as im navigating early adulthood, and im nearing the end of my undergrad journey, I've been thinking more and more about friendships. this is something that I've struggled with throughout my life. i used to tolerate a lot of mistreatment and people over-stepping my boundaries because i didn't want to be alone. but as i got older (and with the help of therapy) i realized that i need to be more selective because im like a sponge as well; it's super easy for me to absorb people's energies and emotions. i've never been drawn to surface-level friendships and the moment i notice that we're not clicking as deeply as i'd like, i would almost subconsciously decide that it wasn't going to work out and i'd move on. i was told that maybe i was being too picky, but honestly? there's nothing wrong with that. not having lots of people in my life who i can comfortably call my friend does get lonely sometimes, but it's way better than putting myself through all the mental anguish i put myself though when i was younger.
People come and go. It's so interesting seeing people share their life stories and experiences. I can definitely relate with this. I'm 20 years old (can't believe it lol) and I realized that I gotta judge things so that they'll follow along as I like them to. I too can be very, very nostalgic and that is kinda how I retreat from the fast-paced, hustling and bustling world we live in today, and it's also my drive and motivation (weird. I know.) Besides that, it's great to relate and connect with others, especially on this platform since we come from different backgrounds and go various paths, ultimately connecting us at the end of the day. Stay blessed and awesome. Have a great day.
So relatable! I don't have a lot of friends and few of them are genuine. But that's okay, more people are going to come to us all so don't be sad!!!
You’re so right❤️love the mindset!
I feel so relieved and less lonely now. Thank you so much for talking about this! This transition from teenage years to adulthood feels so hard.. Forcing old relationships to keep working when values and ideas don't align anymore is stressful. Thank God now I'm okay with my loving boyfriend and a few friends, and new boundaries too. I'm also guilty of forgiving people that I've known forever just to keep the peace and avoid drama, but it was making me sick and contributing to my anxiety as well. We have to take care of ourselves.
ty so much made me realize my one sided friendships.
those friendships were " unequally yoked ”.
Accept both sides growth and let them go.
And I realize that I was just not accepting my growth and their growth too.
Hi Michelle! I appreciate your message. When I was in high school (which was a long time ago haha), someone looked at my yearbook and saw I didn't have that many signatures yet. I had just gotten the yearbook. He said you must not have that many friends. It really hurt and maybe cut more because I too am the type to prioritize quality rather than quantity of friends. Our culture seems to prioritize size and quantity of social circle. As I grew older (I'm in my thirties), I'm able to realize that the investment I made in the smaller circle I have has paid off. I have friends that I've known for 20 years. I didn't realize that was not common. I've seen them go through many seasons of life, and I too have gone through different stages. And I keep meeting new people along the way. I think everyone has a pace and style, and I learned to honor that for myself. Thanks for this empowering message!
my circle of friends keep changing ever since childhood. I only have small circle of friends at a given time and usually we do common things that's why we hang out together. It came to a point that most of them had different path and some had already started a family. Right now, I only have this one friend which I share the same journey and path in life. But for the most part, I don't have any friends to hang out with. To be fair, it's my own doing I don't have much people surrounding me, it's a life long insecurities that I had that's keeping me away from lots of people. I'm 32 years old btw so the insecurities kept on building up because I feel like I'm getting left behind. I'm currently trying to change it, and my only friend is there helping me.
keep going wish you luck on your journey
Such a relatable video as I enter my mid 20s soon, Im honestly fine with just a small friend group that I still connect with after Highschool. That's just life, friends come and go but the real ones will find their way back to you wanting to rebuild that connection. Thank you for posting this video, keep up the great work.
Exactly 👌🏽👌🏽
this coming up on my recommended right after seeing the close friends i grew apart from moving into a flat together... ooft
i knew it was happening, i had come to terms with it happening, but _seeing_ it happen? was definitely a knife to the chest. it's been a long year of discovering who i am and who i'm not but i hope now i can finally move on.
We exist in groups that are too big. We evolved to be in groups of 100-200, once we got bigger than that we split up. Now we live in enormously packed city centres, often meeting tonnes of new people every day and making "friends" with people who really don't know us at all and have no reason to be loyal.
The problem is that people are by our nature status obsessed, so the possibility of all these new "friends" also presents the possibility (or perhaps illusion) of increased social status, and so it's normal now to chop and change your friend groups pretty regularly, which means that when times are good you have all sorts going on, but when times are bad you realise you have no one around that actually cares.
This video resonated so much it’s crazy 😭 Now that I’m an adult, I only have so much time to invest in my relationships, so I have no choice but to be selective with who I surround myself with. I’m really grateful for what you said in this video, because it’s just further confirmation that the direction I’m heading in navigating my friendships and relationships is the right way to go! 💕
This video vocalized a lot of what I've been feeling lately with one friend in particular. We've been friends for years and as we're growing up we don't have time to see each other like we used to. Then I remember, like you, I have gone through many friendships where this is bound to happen. So I think it's important to add to the conversation, that along with choosing whether or not to fight for certain relationships, you can't force anything. Sometimes friends just grow apart and people gradually fade out of your life.
Going through this right now 💗 I truly believe relationships are hard work. Not that they aren't worth it, but it takes a lot of effort and energy.
Yes exactly! You are never alone❤️
not an adult yet, but this video was rly comforting and relatable
to think about it now, the people I am very attached to sometimes don't actually seem like the best friends to me anymore and I dont wanna continue to be their second options when their other friends aren't with them, or to be practically under their control in the friendship.
Ive lost a lot of my best friends and it's helped me realise things. I just need to work on myself and should stop trying to find a friend in everyone I know because no one rly understands me at the moment and I should suck it up :')
ps the mic is perfect for me :)
It only makes me appreciate the real friends that I have. The ones that are happy to just see me, they’re interested in whats going on in my life, they take care of me. You don’t need a whole lot and thats a good thing
Your videos are oddly comforting to me, i can listen to you ramble and still be able to keep up with what you say because its like your taking my thoughts from my brain and saying it out loud
That makes me so happy to hear❤️sending you love🫶🏼
You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting for something I never knew I was waiting for! This reminds me of the saying, “There are people who are the journey but not the destination.” My thoughts are enlightened! Hope to see more x Thanks Michelle
thank you so much for uploading this
To me, I used to please everyone because of insecurity. But at the end I want to maintain relationships with people who appreciate me for being me. Having laughs and laid back are what I value the most.
I really needed to hear this today. I've been struggling with finding friends of my own after losing touch with my core group of friends when we all went to college. I made new friends, but in that, also got into a relationship with my now partner, who was "friends with them first." Because they were a group of friends first, I've really been struggling with feeling like I don't belong, even though they have always treated me as important and valuable. I started a somewhat desperate attempt to find friends that were completely separate from that friend group, but haven't really clicked with anyone beyond a surface level, which has been really weighing me down lately. Hearing your experiences about a small friend group and values of friendship rather than quantity as well as the difficulty of adult relationships really resonated with me, especially since I've been operating under the assumption that everyone makes friends so easily or that everyone keeps their childhood friends close. I hope you and anyone reading this is doing well and taking care. Rooting for all of us on our journeys into adulthood and the beautiful, meaningful relationships to come!!
I can relate. I thought I was the weirdest person for not having any friends in college. Friendships are extremely rare these days.
I wouldn't say rare but damn sometimes I feel like most people don't give two shits about someone who is supposedly their "friend"
I see people I follow on Instagram go out with friends everyday and im almost home every day 💀💀
okay me
I really struggled with my friend groups in high school. Every year it was like I had to find a new group, because I either drifted away from the old one or the old friends became toxic towards me. In college, I've made few friends and I just got out of a 1 1/2 year toxic relationship where I became more and more isolated from existing friends and even my own family. Now I'm trying to rebuild those connections. It's tough! I relate to so much of what you said in this video. Thank you for sharing your experiences.
I don’t have any friends except my dad and I’m FINALLY good with that at age 38! In fact, embracing it has me feeling more like my authentic self than ever before.
Holy crap you honestly put out a lot of how I felt about my friends in these past years. Although I'm just a freshman in highschool I've had such an unlucky time with friends. I ended up dropping toxic people who I didn't want to associate which left me empty for a time period until I figured out I could rise above them and really talk to the people who have the same values as me. And yeah it can get lonely for sure but I'd rather be lonely then surrounded by people who don't make me a better person
5:46
i don’t even have 1 friend, painfully alone
better alone than in bad company:) dw you will find your people, i know you will
I resonate with this so much.
After few years ago, I had a bunch of friends and more than half of them didn't care about me.
Now, in my mid 20s I've realised that it's okay to have 2-3 close friends rather than 10-20 who don't care about you.
But it's difficult, difficult to maintain friendships and resolve differences. I'm going through this with 2 of my friends. We meet once it twice a year after a dozen plans get cancelled. I held on to a few things that disappointed me but I didn't address it. Until now. Which is why we're having differences.
I fear loosing them. I really do. I hope things work out between us.
I understand how you feel🥺I hope all works out for you❤️I know it will:)
I resonate with this a lot. Recently turned into an adult, and some of my closest friends from highschool are going into different universities. It feels like I’m going back to square one. Creating friendships is only half of the struggle that maintaining friendships entails, which made me realize why I don’t keep a lot of people in my circle. I’m always thankful though for the ones who stay.
Btw, this might be really random, but I’m curious about your MBTI type since I feel like I resonate with your thoughts a lot. Would you mind sharing it if you like? Anyways, thanks for this wonderful video!
i feel same, i’m an infj… you?
@@adatheacorn Wow this is uncanny. I’m also an INFJ, and I’m guessing that she’s somewhere between the INFJ/INFP spectrum 😅
I feel you, that was my exact experience. I think people don’t realize how much it actually takes to create a healthy friendship until you’re actually in the midst of it, but I’m glad you have the few people who stuck around
I only have 2 good friends. 🙂 And that's that.
It's difficult but if someone wants you in their life...they make time for you. Even a simple text is good if you're a busy person. But meeting every now and then is a must if you're willing to keep somebody around.
Thank you for this video!
I'm 26 and it has been 3 years as I'm struggling with friendship. I had to relocate to another country when I was 19 due to the war in my home city and had to build my life from the scratch so when things finally started to feel better after 5 years, I realized I lost my old friends and I didn't gain new ones. After that I started to try to connect to old friends and make new ones but it is very difficult. Everyone has already close, best friends and in the country where I live it's kind of difficult cuz the society is quite closed (I live in Finland) and in general meeting people is quite difficult plus pandemic. I endured into self-pittines and used to say myself that I don't have friends because I'm a bad person and something is wrong with me. I try not to think this way too much even though I still have these thoughts. I still haven't made close friends, but I really tried at least, not like I was doing nothing. The more I tried the more I realize that having good people in your life is a big blessing but it also could be disturbing to find yourself in a way. I have seen throughout my life how God was blessing me and carrying me on so I just hope it is not the situation forever and God will show me the way. May God bless us all and give us a good and true friends!
Damn this really resonates with me. Next year, I’m going to another country to finish my senior year of college and kinda nervous I’ll be alone with no friends. Glad to see I’m not alone.
Me too :) it’s better having a little friends and they are so motivate you than a lot but they just give you anxiety :) sending love here xx
Quality is over quantity, being around the wrong people can be draining and can make you view yourself in a dark light when in reality it’s not you those people just don’t align with your values.
This video was beautiful, it really made me get clarity on a lot of decisions I've recently made. Initially I did not regret it, I was happy and proud of myself for growing and letting go of relationships that were not meaningful for me anymore. Once time started to pass, I wondered if I did the right thing. But this video gave me clarity. I did do the right thing, and it's ok even if I don't have a large circle. My small circle is healthy and good for me. Thank you so much for this video :)
aww honestly im in luv w ur channel at first sight >
I have a few friends that I only see a couple times a year and one very close childhood friend who I see every few weeks but I would say my best friend is my younger sister. I love spending time with her and over the past few years our relationship has only grown stronger. She’s someone I can put my full trust in and I don’t know what I would do without her!
I have 0 friends. Sometimes I crave for someone who'd listen what happened to me whole day. But then it's okay,life goes on and good people will find you of you stay humble and you'll also recognise who is real 😊
I genuinely love when creators make videos like this because it creates a space for similar people to share their experiences. Everyone I interact with in my life is very social except for me so I feel very out of place most of the time and tbh many days I ask myself why I’m like this. I grew up with people asking me why I have no friends and still to this day the question comes up. Truth is, I have no energy to socialize with people unless I feel that I can trust this person (which doesn’t happen often). Watching this video and reading the comments makes me feel so understood 🥲❤
I’m so glad to hear that❤️❤️and I’m so glad you found a safe space, you are never alone🥹
Love your videos!! I'm currently going through this right now and I relate to everything you've said ❤. Thank you for always being so insightful and providing such great advice and perspective each video. I love listening to people my age with the same views or experiences and learning from them ❤
I want to reach out to maintain the friendships I had, but it sucks when you don't drive. My goal this year is to drive on my own and be able to meet up with old friends and make new friends wherever I can go
i am 37 years old and i have 8 friends. and i know them for a 20 years. so thats the important point. you need a life experience for understand this.
growing pains are so difficult!! I’m at a stage in my life where I am constantly questioning all my relationships. My therapist said you can outgrow your friends and still be their friend but I feel like I’m at a point where I feel like I can’t. It really does hurt to acknowledge that though. We all grow up and want different things because we are different people, but acknowledging that and letting go of the comfort you’ve known for a good portion of ur life is hard 🥲 but it’s so mentally exhausting staying in these relationships, especially when it doesn’t feel fulfilling anymore.
As a 25 year old the only reason I have a big social circle now compared to a few years ago is I just got lucky meeting cool people at concerts/events. A lot of friendships and relationships are based on luck
Stuff like this is why I subscribed to you....we've been going through pretty much the same realization processes. It's beautiful to see someone else who understands these things.
❤️❤️so glad you’re here! You’re never alone:)
i really loved this. i totally relate to this topic and it's definitely more prevalent as you grow into your 20s etc
thank you girl🫶🏼navigating relationships is def hard, but easier when you know you’re not alone
resonated heavy with this, its cool to know others feel like this too
First of all, sorry for my English, I use google translate. I don't have any friends. It used to be, but it's getting less and less. I'm 20 years old and I have no one. I'm always at home because I'm bored of going out alone. I realized that I like to be alone because that way no one can upset me. I am happy alone. But when I'm alone among people, I feel bad, they all look at me and it feels like they're hurting. I went into depression thinking that I was a problem person especially for 2 years. I thought a lot about dying because my existence was meaningless. but i accepted that i can't do that, i'm not that brave. I feel so helpless right now, I'm looking for a solution but I can't find it.
hey ece, I also don’t have friends and I’m 19. Hang in there! I know it’s hard, but just know I feel the same way and that there is someone who’s dealing with the same thing as you. hopefully that makes you feel less alone :)
@@URSTRULYBRI yes it feels good to know there are people like me thank you :)
No be the spiritual girl!! I get that 💯% energy is everything and ever since meeting a good friend of mine whose energy is high positivity it's hard for me to find value in any other kind of relationship with others. It's amazing you have a small circle I'm at 1 but I do get wanting a bit more 🙂 also the difficulty of finding said people is something. I've put myself out there a lot lately and people have not been matching the frequency I'm at but I trust the universe to bring me my people and hope the same for you if you do want more that is!
I have people I know and acquaintances but most of my friendships have been seasonal. Sucks sometimes but God knows what’s best
I really love how you speak. As a foreign speaker, I enjoy your clear use of words and pronounciation. Also, you have a pretty calming aura
Thank you sm🥹!
There's nothing wrong with having a few friends , you'd much rather be surrounded by a few genuine people than a bunch of hypocrites
As an only child i grew up to become very independent. It’s a common saying that the people you surround yourself with are indeed the people that influence you and for some people its true. But because ive become so independent my friends are very diverse in terms of interests, personalities and traits and I’ve become so comfortable on my own that i have by now a solid foundation in who i am that my friends dont really have an influence over me.
I havent finished the whole video yet but even the caption itself and watching it even just halfways helps me for I feel like I am talking to someone that knows what I am currently preasuring myself into, I just wanted ti say thank you and may my feelings and hearing heal and return to me💐
It’s a pleasure honestly❤️it helps me out too to know that there are other people who can relate as well:) wishing you happiness, healing and love
I agree with you so much. I know lots of people and sometimes I feel myself drained talking to them. Like it’s not like their boring people but sometimes I just feel tired and I want to be alone and I find it funny because last year I was that person who was alone yet now that I have friends I feel drained, tired, and a bit empty to be honest.
this channel is my therapy 🦋
I'm 25 and have 6 people who I consider my closest friends. All of them I met before college. I would love to make some new friends, but I feel that I cannot open up to new people... On one hand, I'm grateful to have these two circles of friend groups (one from high school, one from childhood), on the other, it makes me anxious that maybe I will never make any new friends again. I hope it's not the case... but only time will tell.
This is the clarity and comfort I needed, bless you!
I m a teen with 0 friends. Except, it makes me feel miserable, empty and lonely. I cry almost every other day, cause I have no one to lean on, no one to take support from. No one, to have fun conversations with, and just have regular fun. I wish I was happy being alone
It's not going to get better on its own. Get out more and try
@FuckOuttaHere There is literally no other solution. Keep trying or you know what happens
it's crazy how much this resonated with me
I’ve lost my friend group recently, I felt disposable when I left saying I needed some time, only to be spammed very very untrue things about my character. I do not wish harm on them the same way they did for me. I hope the best for them, even if they’ve left me on my own.. they aren’t my only lifeline and I am happy with my own company. I trust I will find people who will value and care unconditionally :)
Ran into your video about leaving social media because I was aimlessly scrolling through RUclips because I’ve been letting go of social media… glad you pointed out how your mindset and environment can control your life because it’s just been one of those days where I’m trying to focus more on the positive. But the energy will eventually even itself out and life will go on as it was meant to be for all of us 🙏🏽
Thank you Michelle for this video. I can definitely relate to this a lot. I have struggled maintaining friendships most of my adult life (Years alone with no firends, never got invited to events or parties), especially now I am 32 years old. 5 years ago, got married and moved from the UK to Germany to live with my husband (who works as a doctor) . It was really hard for me to adopt the culture, especially with the language itself. (German is not an easy language btw). As we get older as adults, our lives are busy with responsibilities and trying to accept change. I am so tied introducing myself from the start when trying to make friends. I have realised less circle of friends is better than more. Again thank you for sharing ;)
adulting is so sucks yeaa. but we should keep it calm in our way. we go girl♡
Hey , so I’m 16 and when I was 13 I moved to live in another country and then I had a few friends that we don’t talk anymore and now I don’t have any friends but I’m in really good connection with my mother and siblings (my mom is very open and me and my siblings are almost in the same age), and all my life I spent a lot of time with my family, but I feel bad for not having any friends and I tried to make friends in school but they are fake and I feel lonely and different
michelle, thank you. i just went through a hard time recently recounting how i have a very small circle and how it is not very well normalized, so i used to feel like i need to be more extroverted and force myself to make more friends? like, i love doing so, i still prefer a smaller and much more meaningful friendships 💗💗
I love your videos, it’s like they slow time for me. You’re doing great, you’re awesome!
That is one of the sweetest things I’ve ever heard❤️thank you:*
This Was Relatable ,
I Always Say I Rather
Have 2 Real Friends
Than 200 Fake Friends
Yasss Making Friends As
An Adult Can Be Emotional
Draining , It’s Important To
Stay True To Who You Are
& Great Video
💛❤️💙
You’re probably one of the most relatable people ever, and I don’t even know you lol! Thanks for opening up! ❤
awe of course❤️ so glad you could relate
thank you so much for sharing these kinds of videos on the internet. watching you is just like having a conversation with a friend about life and relationships. looking forward to more videos like these!
This video is a therapy, thank you for this
No worries❤️❤️
wow, i was just struggling with this topic, thank you for sharing!
This video gave me such an amazing vibe, its so calm and lovely and quite profound. Its so nice to listen to someone talk about this subject. And u made it really wholesome. Thank youu♡
I can totally relate to this video and thank for making it, I feel so seen and less alone about my circumstances.😊
Cherish the moments when you are alone.
I love how you've framed friends with the same thoughtful we'd frame a relationship. I think that's really beautiful.
My favourite quote you shared was "It's easy to forget the things we can control -- our mindset and our environment -- because we focus on what we can't (e.g. other people's emotions)"
I've never wanted a large circle of friends, not my thing I wouldn't be able to keep up. All I want is loyal and supportive ppl that give back what I give in, but I'm beginning to think I'm just supposed to be alone for now, maybe later idk when, maybe then I'll form meaningful attachments
not attachments, relationships
this comforted me! thank you michelle
Thank you Michelle. I just found your channel and man oh man, I am so glad I did. Wishing you all the best with your endeavours
No worries Gian☺️!! So glad you’re here, wishing you all good things🫶🏼 & love your channel, your voice is beautiful!!!
Recently I just went through a fall out with my Friend Group Since High School. Nothing crazy happened, but after the actions of some people, I no longer talk to them like how I used to before the events. No one really ever talks about Friend Break Ups, because those hit just as hard if not HARDER than a romantic break up.
While most of the time we focus on the people we lost, and how we no longer talk to them, or create memories the same way we used to, we tend to find more time for ourselves. Like Michelle said, we don't have these boundaries developed when we're younger, so when we're older and we do create these boundaries, some people might get upset. But it's important to understand that these Boundaries are for you to use so you can choose who you allow into your life. Because the people you choose to allow in your life, are the people who will make you who you are.
wow i never thought anyone else would understand what i feel, i always see people with huge friend groups and are able to maintain those groups honestly my only friend is my boyfriend
I related to this video so much. I’m in my senior year of high school. My boyfriend and best friend, whom I’ve known since middle school broke up with me. It feels weird not talking to them anymore when I used to daily. I focused all my attention on my relationship more than friendships and lost touch with many. With college applications approaching and the thought of sitting alone at lunch without a support system or friend is making me anxious.