Baby mama drama? | On the topic of dating single parents | The Unpopular Opinion UG
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- Опубликовано: 31 май 2024
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I have loved today’s topic. Never say never when it comes to growth in life. I got married last year in December but my husband had told me of his daughter who is now 11 years old. I tell you the honest truth, am a Christian who loves children personally and I loved this gal so much. But am telling you kids can be Funny, the gal made my life hard and felt disappointed with the love I showed her. Batumwe😢 I took the issue to God coz I knew the devil was using this gal to make me hate marriage. As I speak now, the gal was apologetic and confessed that she had not experienced the love I give her even from her mum. We are friends now and all she asks if I will continue to love her the same even when I put to birth the twins. Ladies all I can say if we love these children, God rewards us and we gain more love from our hubbies. ❤❤❤❤❤Thanks , Claire, Phiphi and Prim🫸💕💕🥰
Thanks for sharing this ❤
Thank you for sharing this. We wish you ease, peace and better days ahead. You’re a wonderful bonus mom.
I also think that as a society, we need to unpack the double standard of men with children vs women with children.
There's a certain judgement that we place on single women with children that we don't place on men. Why ????
You'll find single men with children saying they can't date or marry women with children.
It's why a woman will leave her child with her mother or auntie and go raise a man's kids.
You raise an important point. The double standards here are as clear as they are in most other areas of life.
The double standard is because people both men and women generally exempt men from taking full care of child related responsibilities. We expect that a single dad won’t have full custody of their child so a woman coming into the situation doesn’t have to deal with his children, the same expectation is not true for women. If a woman does not have custody of her children then the question becomes whats wrong with her?
Glad to have you guys back!🤩 Bambi don’t go silent again. We need this relationship to be healthy.😊 Love you ladies.😍
😂 we're leaving toxicity behind. Thanks for being here
I don't know if it's the camera, but Clair really has nice skin. I'm just admiring her chest and shoulders. The skin is skinning.
I was also thinking to myself, eh! Claire anyirira! ❤
At 22, i probably thought i couldn't date or marry a man with kids, at my big 29, I'm very open to it. My only condition now is full disclosure from the get go, we can't be dating for a year and you remember to tell me about your 3 children.
@antidumbcomments It feels pretty big to me.
That full disclosure 📌
You are still young dear many are in their 35 and single
At my big age of 36, I would not date a man with children. There is a lot that goes into such situations and you will always be expected to sacrifice yourself extra to prove your love for him and them
I'm adding this comment hoping that i don't get blocked and that it is seen as positive criticism. Is it possible for each of you to let the other finish their statements? For most episodes, it feels like Prim starts to talk, claire chimes in then fiona tries to moderate the two. I love you guys but either you get a director or host moderator but it is hard to keep up with whoever is talking. Claire, it is okay to let the others talk without cutting in - note your thought down then mention it when your turn comes. Love you all. This comment is based on all the episodes I've watched not just this one.
Its not just you!! Its so annoying. I'm watching from America. I want to enjoy the show but too much cutting off, laughter....I get it. Chilling with your girls...but you have an audience that is interested in catching everything! Please be considerate. Thanks guys ❤
Truth be told if you can't handle a partner's baggage. In that direction. Weigh your capabilities. Its never worth it.
Its not your struggle to have. Chill and breathe. Look for a partner that has no such baggage.
Claire thank you for saying the right thing about motherhood
This is honestly my best show on the internet and everywhere, has been since you started! Love it! Thank you so much for sharing your joy and energy with us! ❤
Blood is thicker than water is a shortened version of the original saying " Blood of the covenant is thicker than water of the womb" . Over time, the words “covenant” and “womb” were dropped, which is how most people have come to have to an alternative meaning
The original saying was also used to refer to the brotherhood/ bond between soldiers who shed blood together in battle and so formed a blood covenant...the phrase therefore was meant to refer to the fact that the bonds one choses are more often than not much stronger than those formed by familial or blood relations.
This is insightful. Thank you
It's a NOOO from me. I experienced this from my mum. She took on 3 kids who NEVER EVER appreciated anything she did. It was worse because their mum was alive and healthy. So buli mwana ne mama we. I will love em all but while they are with their mum or elsewhere. Thankyou.
more conversations like this. You make me proud to be a part of this generation that is starting the conversation on how family dynamics are not always black and white or as they seem.
Glad you are back !
Kemi is beautiful, vibe and she is raw.
That's very kind. Thanks ✨️
very informative,thank you beautiful ladies ❤
Amazing analogy on motherhood, Prim! Wow..!
On the issue that Prim raised about her other siblings ,I wanna say that I grew up in a blended family and i thank My dad for ensuring we all grew up in one house.As a child i didn't understand why my dad insisted on us staying together despite the step mum hardships we faced but now i appreciate him.I remember once having a very difficulty conversation with my dad where i was in tears and just wanted to leave and go stay with my grandma in the village.But being the first born my dad didn't allow me.We are now grown,one can't even tell we are blended because we love each other so much.I have never had an issue being a step mum i know i will love the children like my own.
I loved loved todays topic esp because i was a little triggered.
Was raised by a person i thought was my Dad,they separated with Mom when i was 12 and i grieved over the separation so much to the point of becoming suicidal-for context we didn't have a relationship after their separation until his demise when i was 33. I have two younger sisters from him.
Later on at 30,i came to discover that he wasn't even my Dad
Confronted my Mom about it and she never revealed who my real father was.
With time i just became so resentful towards My Mom to the point of feeling like i hated her.....
So here i am with both Daddy and Mommy issues and wounds at 39
The dynamics of my upbringing has affected how i relate to men, i'm not even sure i want children because i don't want to pass my trauma to them
But i'm in therapy, especially because I wasn't responsible for My Mom's decisions and lack of accountability but since it's affecting me, then it is my responsibility to try and heal
Every child deserves to be told the truth and have a relationship with their other parent regardless of the reasons for the two parents not being together.
I pray this and the coming generation does better
Thank you for sharing so vulnerably, sis. It's beautiful to hear you're investing in your healing ❤ may God bless your journey
This was soooo touching. I pray for your healing.
Thank you @Fiona and Linda.
I'm taking it one day at a time. Healing is a journey
So sorry yo hear this I pray you heal.
Claire spoke for me in many ways as a mum. The love you have for the child you have birthed is different. And by different I don't even mean loving more or loving less but just DIFFERENT. That being said I grow up with a sibling who is not biologically my mums but we are very close maybe even closer than some of my other siblings that I shared a womb with.
On the other hand, I know I would be a good step mother if the kid is not out to get me, lol But I have never understood the ladies I have heard saying that if their men cheated they would ask them to bring those kids home (mothers alive)
This looks really great
I love kids BUT I also made that statement when I was younger to never date or get in a relationship with any man that has a child or who has ever married (personal reasons) and I still stand by it.
On the loving unbiological kids I feel like if I adopted I'd love them like mine, for step children I have not thought about it because I promised myself I shall not be in that situation..I have very strong boundaries and when it comes to cheating it's non negotiable!
I appreciate your openness. It's always good to have clarity on what we can and cannot.
Sometimes God gives what you request for. Stand your ground dear
Hey ladies. Thanks alot for this one.
Such a relevant topic indeed and I now feel like y’all owe us a longer discussion on this by bringing on board someone from a blended family (as a child) and then one as a mom to just sort of weigh in on this and give the topic much more justice.
Otw, I agree with Claire when she says that the love a mother has towards her biological child is really innate and incomparable… and so it just dawned on me that this is why mothers who take on the care of non biological kids are even MUCH more celebrated because of how hard and innately difficult it is and could be. Its definetely not for everyone and people need to recognize that but a mother (Like the Linda Kirunda) character is absolutely a class apart (in my opinion) and should be applauded much more especially if a child (Oscar) couldn’t even know that she is not his biological mum. Such mothers should have a special place in heaven I believe.
However, that said, I think we would need to hear more from chikdren who habe grown up in such settings to learn a thing or two because this adulting thing abeg! Anything can happen! And I believe we are not defined by what happens to us but rather by how we react to the things that happen to us.
Otw, its always a hard pin to swallow for those that do, but i believe if they do it with the purest intent, they have a Special Place in Heaven. (All factors remaining constant)
Please note; I am not condoning this whole side dish outside children thing in marriage… people should avoid that but for situations where one has been thrown this curve ball in life (Marrying a man with a child, discovering a foreign child in marriage)… what then? Alot has to be handled with mindset and like y’all said, the constant work has to be put in.
Much love ladies 🫶🏽
I hear you. We'll consider doing a part 2 somewhere down the line with someone from a blended family
Ohh this is such a close to home topic because it’s just 😢….., i experience this from both sides of my parents family and it’s damaging it’s hurtful it’s raw energy pain. I do wish I was closer to my siblings from both sides of my parents.
Looking gorgeous
Prim is really multi lingual, mbu kusalimbira downtown! It is a rare occurrence both banyankole and Baganda are very proud of their cultures and languages so to have depth in both takes a level of humility and I think intellect! Very Museveni like
Claire is spot on about the love of a mother for a child, and how GOD made it that way because kids can break your heart, wow, a revelation!
My gal chopped the size haloooo❤
I have missed you Queens Mehn❤️❤️❤️
Real talk!
I missed u guys
Some people are just bluntly evil..i can never mistreat a child ..i am not a mother but i just know..i might not feel exactly how i feel for my child but my love for the other kids will be endless still
Claire your skin is 🔥🔥🔥
Haaalo guys, always a pleasure to see you. Am a step child and have told myself never to have children outside wedlock because trust me you guys its not nice being the outside kid, I at times feel like I owe my step siblings an apology
Hii guys 🥰, what's stopping you from commenting?
Nothing
Trying to be mysterious 😂
You're right Claire, I love your stand on raising someone's child when she's alive
🤣 We don't want our blended inlaws to come for us
Please put subtitles for the local language parts... This podcast had a lot of non English parts.
True.. I agree with Prim.. Sanyu herself is sooo annoying these days.
Others characters are ok. But that gal sanyu 🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️
I'm sorry, but I'm not dating anyone with kids because I can't handle drama, especially with the baby mamas that haven't re married or moved on...I'm not getting in the middle of that,hell no
Blended Family shapes us for better or worse. It comes down to a choice. Personally, my faith in God has given me prospects and also the company around me.
yes,these ladies are
Prim described motherhood right.
I thought Prim was a different person until I squinted
Girl, you have shed a lot of weight and you look amazing regardless but I couldn't recognize you
Amazing amazing amazing
In today's modern society, there are many single moms and single dads. It is what it is.🤷♂️
😂😂😂😂bambiii
Claire i want the plug for your frames
Clare if you died today wouldnt you want your husband to marry someone who will love your child??The truth is that he will remarry! Thats something you should ponder on.As far as this topic is concerned,its either you're a loving person or you're not.
Its not as complex as you make it sound.Human beings are generally creatures of adaptation.
Lastly....NEVER say NEVER!
Your opinion is valid but a little too black and white in a world where there’s so many shades of color. First of all, I said I’d look after kids if I found them their and I’d make a conscious choice to love them as I would my own. Obviously I’d hope that if I died, my husband would find a woman who took mine on like her own as well.
What I won’t stand for is looking after children who are born after we are married and I don’t expect my husband to look after children if I have any out of our marriage.
Oooooh there’s no love like that of your children
I just look at my son sometimes and feel that love that I have never felt before and I always thought that I loved my mum,my siblings mostly our Ka lastborn and my husband so much but the love of my love son is on another level I can’t compare it with anything else also I think it would be easier for someone who has no biological child to love a child they adopted easily because they haven’t experienced a biological child love.
The problem with blended families will come when the kids have grown up and are falling in love with each other 😂😂
I feel prim isn't inclusive to all your audience....kindly use english luganda is not an international language ....no matter how many times I comment about it I feel unheard as an unpopular opinion KE. Follower...so unmotivated.
I feel it’s unfair to constrain someone to speaking English only and yet they happen to use both English and mother tongue unconsciously in their daily life! So she can not just switch up when shooting it’s unconscious😫
It’s unfortunate the English (Small group of people) got us to use their language an “international language”. I have always admired Swahili, and it’s from watching Kenyan RUclipsrs that use swahili that I have learned a lot more swahili, I can not speak Swahili but now I laugh at the jokes.
We are not English! so it’s natural to use our local languages!
I understand you but hey if someone uses her local language on daily they can not just switch up. This isn’t America or London🙏🏾