Courtney spoke major facts here. If you find yourself always questioning their motives, they make you feel worried and uncomfortable, their communication skills make you angry; yeah it's time to go. I was just talking to a woman when everytime i tried to make plans to talk; she kept saying we'll talk tomorrow and she never did. So i moved on. You can always attract a better person. Bless your heart Courtney for helping us 😊🙏♥️
I hear ya GEORGIO! Lol Today I want to share with you my favorite way to know… when a girl is into you. And it has been happening to me lately with this new girl at work. When a girl seems to always be close by whenever you look around, and sometimes you catch her looking… not only that, she smiles, and not only that - this is a dead giveaway, she ALWAYS LOOKS OVER HER SHOULDER at me, she never turns around it seems… and you could tell she’s waiting for me to go talk to her, and I don’t, and I can tell it’s frustrating to her… (And I’m not doing this to be mean, and she’s beautiful, she could probably have any guy she wants)… and I’m waiting to see what will happen eventually, I know the right thing to do is to go over, and introduce myself… but for some reason, even I don’t understand, I choose not to - maybe I like the tension it’s creating between the two of us… I don’t know… Anyway, that’s my two cents. -Carlos Verde - Dating Tips
You're not alone man, happens to me plenty of times in my life where she either flakes, cancels last minute, does the opposite of what she says, or just leads me on to try to use me as her "personal therapist" or just to get attention and validation. Always Remember that attention/validation to Women IS what s*x is to Men, it's like crack and they gotta have it 24/7 Best thing you can do is starve her of attention and just move on so keep ya head up, you deserve better for yourself 👍
@@carlosverde-datingtips7001 hahaha that's brilliant tips you have gave Carlos. I remember there was this beautiful blonde girl at school who always used to stare at me and so one morning i decided to say hi to her and see what's up. Turns out, she had boyfriend but still found me attractive i guess. That happens a lot to me 😄. My dating life is so crazy
No sugarcoating, no fat, no beating around the bush. This video feels like a motherly glove-slap in the face that wakes you up from a coma and shocks the doctors.
I knew my girlfriend was into me from the moment we met for our first date. The smile on her face when she saw me was amazing and we hugged for over a minute.
If you have to question if she is "into you," she's not into you. And being with a woman who is not "into you" is a horrible situation. It's better to be alone than with a woman who is not "into you."
Why do women sometimes claim they want to watch Netflix but then will crawl under the covers without clothes and look at me longingly and not look at the screen? I thought she wanted to watch a movie. If only women would communicate their intentions more directly!
It’s not in their nature to do that - Raymond! Lol Today I want to share with you my favorite way to know… when a girl is into you. And it has been happening to me lately with this new girl at work. When a girl seems to always be close by whenever you look around, and sometimes you catch her looking… not only that, she smiles, and not only that - this is a dead giveaway, she ALWAYS LOOKS OVER HER SHOULDER at me, she never turns around it seems… and you could tell she’s waiting for me to go talk to her, and I don’t, and I can tell it’s frustrating to her… (And I’m not doing this to be mean, and she’s beautiful, she could probably have any guy she wants)… and I’m waiting to see what will happen eventually, I know the right thing to do is to go over, and introduce myself… but for some reason, even I don’t understand, I choose not to - maybe I like the tension it’s creating between the two of us… I don’t know… Anyway, that’s my two cents. -Carlos Verde - Dating Tips
Not purely dating related, but because I think it fits: My life got way better when I stopped putting effort into relationships (both platonic and romantic) where I didn't see a similar amount of effort coming back from the other person. I mean, I don't expect people to put in the exact same effort or more, but there are just people that like wouldn't ever hit you up to do something or check on you if you stopped initiating, and most of the times these people won't be worth your time. It's hard to realize and honestly even disheartening when you first start out, but you really learn to value yourself and will be able to focus your energy more on yourself and the people that are worth your effort. So yeah, great video Courtney, especially the things you mentioned in the middle there just are really valuable for all kinds of relationships!
That's the same as what I think. I can initiate things once, twice. But at some point I do expect something back. If it doesn't come back and I have to start questioning myself whether it's worth or not - usually it is not. If your gut is telling you something is not right - usually it is not right.
Something that has always stuck with me in terms of dating and partner advice was when I asked my dad about if choosing my mom to marry was difficult. He put it very simply. “Marrying your mom was the easiest decision I have ever made. When you both are compatible, that is an easy decision.” This mind you is coming from a guy whom had dated around for awhile prior to meeting my mom. Long story short, Courtney’s video is on point. When you both like each other and find each other compatible it is very easy. Thank you
It's easy to tell when someone DOESN'T like me. When I was younger, I'd have guys tell me that some girl likes me, but I always doubted them and figured they didn't know what they were talking about. They'd swear that they did, but I still couldn't trust them. I'd even be told that I'm being negative, but I know I'm being realistic. There was this one time I fell for it though, and I felt like crap when I knew I should have trusted my gut all along.
Boy, aint that the truth. The gut rarely lies. When your gut tells you someone is not interested, believe it. Life shitty, unfair, and full of undeserved problems.
I was just coming to say that, while this information may be relevant to most people, there are those of us who genuinely have no idea, whether that be from isolation/lack of social experience and/or mental illness. But then you covered that in the middle of the video. So, I guess the moral of the story here is, watch a whole video before formulating your opinion and complaining about it, lol. Love your vids, thanks for all the great insight
Love how she chose a blatant black/white top to poetically and visually represent the message of today's video. The content and art is evolving, and I'm proud!
Completely with Courtney. Something I’m working on that may help others is putting myself in positions to simply meet/interact with more women. The more opportunities you create to interact with women, the more likely you’ll find someone worth pursuing (not chasing) and the less likely you’ll try to make something out of nothing.
Truth! If someone really likes you, they are very difficult to overlook. They aren’t shy and they will usually be there everytime you open your door or answer your phone.
Being a little bit of an overthinker this has been a difficult area for me to master. Considering that men are told "be confident all the time and if you don't you won't be seen as attractive", we push through trying to force the issue. The reality that it doesn't work out many times is humbling. Thank you Courtney for bringing a clear perspective on these issues and conveying that we should value our time. Cheers
Well said: Everything Courtney says here is on point. The tricky part for some guys is figuring out the genuine article from the ones who are really good at faking interest. It happens. I think part of the trick to it is “time.” I’ve found many women, even those who are good at faking interest, usually get a bit lazy/bored with having to feign interest and will start to show that inconsistency pretty quickly. So you just have to be patient and not jump in wholeheartedly from the start. If you’re looking for “the long haul” relationships, then scaling back on the “grand gestures” for two or three months (at least) is nothing. Be patient, and you’ll have an easier time of finding the difference between a convincing faker and a genuine article.
Yes, a guy must play it cool in the early stages. Casual dates and look to escalate to intimacy to see if the desire is there from her, but thereafter it’s up to her to shoot for anything more. If she likes you she’ll be the one asking the “ where do you see this relationship going?” question to which a smart guy replies, “ where would you like it to go?” Basically, relationships are women’s work, you are the gatekeeper, she has to “ open the door”.
@michaellegrand3892 damn I feel your pain. I hope this is not happening to me with this girl I like. I suppose to hangout with her this soon. I know her from school and I would fix her car here n there n not charge her. But she did some bs to me and I fell back. So 2 years later she hit me up I fix her car. She calls me tell me if I can fix it again. I go there on some this my last time fixing especially if she not paying. Long story short she wanna hangout this weekend. I accepted it . But I sure hope this not a sympathy hangout or a using me/rebound hangout. Cuz I'll be hurt because I do wanna date her
Anybody out there remember mood rings or pendants that would change colors? It would be nice if someone were to develop one that would turn a specific color so you would know if someone were interested in you. You wouldn't have to worry about guessing or misinterpreting signs. Thank you for your advice. Take care.
This is a refreshing change of pace. Humans have a habit of focusing on the negative and talking about what wrong looks like, so it's good to see somebody talking about what right looks like. Is a shame that modern society is entitled to the point where we all have our guards up so much when we're dating. It's very hard to find something healthy when you're so focused on not getting burned.
yup never understood advice about finding the hidden signs a girl likes you. If a girl likes you they normally make it very obvious. Great video Courtney.
This was a very very good video.I appreciate this wisdom.I'd like to add a couple of points though. 1 - The inability to read social cues isn't necessarily about social anxiety or being mentally or intellectually impaired.Rather men often simply struggle to rationalize the irrational,such as why women would give you their number in the first place if they weren't interested. 2 - All the social pressure of pursuing a relationship(or just sex) in our society falls upon the male.So if a woman doesn't initiate calling or texting that is often consistent with how women behave when being pursued even when they like you.Hence the confusion. Thanks for the video.It was very helpful.👍
As a man, I never give people my contact information unless I have a reason to want to (work or personal) I don't give people the ability to contact me willy nilly
@@brianosterman456 I'm the same way. But we live in a time of declining social skills(not to mention women who enjoy the validation of suitors) so all types of craziness goes on.
Yep. Everything I was about to chime in with, you covered. Behavior is way more important than words. Dull down the shine, and what you want to have happen. Put all that into a different box. Look at it as though you're giving advice to someone else in the same situation. Step outside of it and look from other angles. Men are uniquely good at this, if they try. It is a skill, it requires practice. Good job, Courtney. Real facts here.
Literally you're the best. I think you're one of the few people men have (not to say what you post doesn't apply to everyone) to listen to that gives advice on self love and self respect and inside on relationships with others but HEALTHY advice, not bitter or immature advice and for that you are appreciated.
I really have to agree with this video. We need to start acting like we know what's going on and that we know what we want. I've stopped chasing because the juice isn't worthy the squeezed to be treated as dispodassble.
Great stuff here Courtney. Around the 3:28 mark, I'd like to say that if a person is playing those manipulative games, chances are: they have only moderate to low interest in you anyway. People go after what they really want, and so your good examples of what people do when they're _not_ interested, e.g. not texting back, being short in conversation, only hanging out when they get something out of it, etc, are the things they *won't* do (as you explained). People who are playing those games do so because they see someone as a placeholder, rebound, or someone to fall back on when/if the person they're really chasing fails.
i went out to a club on saturday, i didnt even want to stay late, but my friends convicenced me. i ended up with a girl that night, we clicked and the next day we went out with my freind and her other freind, so it was like a doulbe date kinda thing. And weve been texting ever since and tomorow were going to hang out again. another tell sign she likes you is if her friends are helping you out to get with her. honestly id say its very obvious. when a girl likes you. I think i t all comes down to experience, the more you date and go out the better you will be with women.
There are also situations where you really feel like someone is into you because they do all those things she was saying in the video. Then when you try to make a move, it backfires and you get friend zoned. And the other person says they were just being friendly all along. This whole manipulation/playing games is exactly the reason why modern dating sucks ass. I'd much rather stay single because I respect myself. To all of you out there, please understand the importance of self-respect before engaging in dating/relationship. I learned the hard way how tough it is to deal with the aftermath of something when I didn't have self-respect.
I somewhat agree, but there is actually a way to tell. 1. She is either verbally direct and makes some kind of direct move, tells you she likes you, asks you out on a date, etc. 2. Or it is obvious through body language like blushing, unconcious flirting(which is kinda hard to describe), and her seeming visibly awkward and nervous around you. The latter though might be missed especially by younger inexperienced guys if it isn't blatant enough
Well spoken about everything Courtney. In my personal experience there was one girl I pursued for a short time after I had one conversation when I first met her, gave her a friendly compliment that broke the ice and she started to talk to me. From there I'd go visit her whenever and most times she initiated the conversation or I would. Then at one point I was beginning to look for signs of whether she liked me or not. After a while she started acting like she was hard to get and often hid herself from me which gave me a wakeup call that I don't need to waste anymore time being around her, then to accept that she wasn't into me and I decided to move forward. In my experience of interacting with her, I learned that a simple compliment is a good icebreaker, I've been watching your videos for a short time now and I'd like to continue learning more from you to apply it and find myself a simple girl to date. In addition, I used to do online dating but that was all a different story with a lot of unexpected obstacle of scammers and being ghosted frequently.
I always thought a good rule of thumb would be that if a woman makes any overtures, she is interested in *something*. That might be you, but it might also be your money, your help, your time, a shoulder to cry on, a platonic friendship, all things good or bad. It's not that hard to tell when someone is reaching out to you, it's just hard to tell what they might want. But it's not that hard to tell when a woman is placing herself in your orbit, in which case, it's on the guy to make a connection.
As you said, women have multiple places in their lives where they may be placing you. However, it's pretty damn easy to determine just where she placed you, and if it's not in her romantic sphere -- you need to move on. Moving from Friend Zone to her romantic sphere is a one-in-a-million shot.
It's hard to know if you've spent your life not having anyone place themselves in your orbit. Or if they did not seeing those signs because you didn't know what to look for. Shame will make you believe that no one will even find you worthy of being in your life much less your orbit. Feelings of inadequacy or unworthiness will have you looking downward or, if you're looking up, having blinders on. One of the reasons why I find her videos so helpful is because she is opening my eyes to the fact that just being present and open to possibilities is enough of a reason for a lot of women to be receptive to me. Becoming aware of the positive things about me is a huge help as well.
I mainly experience this at a gym. When a girl is either glancing or staring at you alot and then tries to be in your orbit. It's a sign. I had a girl linger in my orbit doing exercises I usually don't see her doing. (These are also known as choosing signal) But I still dont make moves and that where I truely fail.
I agree that if someone likes you, you'll know/it should be clear...but feelings can change on a dime. I know from experience. I casually dated a guy for a moment, he really made me feel open to being very playful in texting...something I'm usually wary of...& then he pulled away. This was after two wonderful dates, the rest was just fizzle. He let me "know" he was into me...but then something changed, and I'll never know what. This was by no means the love of my life or anything, not throwing a pity party, but I don't think "knowing someone is into us" changes the fact that it can change very fast...for whatever reason(s).
This is brutal but very good advice. I've been in relationships where I tried to justify another persons lack of response. I realize now that to keep reaching out is, well, kind of pathetic. On a recent date I asked my oldest daughters opinion. She thought the lady was "testing me." My youngest daughter told me to run. I'm going to listen to my daughters more often and accept that it is what it is. Thank you Courtney.
Guys also we can learn about attachment style seriously a mayor life changing advice,since I identify my attachment style and with discipline and work fix it to secure,I don't take things personal,or care too much about (in dating even in other areas of life) and also you can identify the attachment style of the person you are dating so you know what to expect or how to proceed, I promise you guys life changing advice !!
I’m glad I saw this video and I’ll share a story that happened to me recently. In short, I was talking to multiple girls, but two different girls in particular. I knew the first girl for about a month went on multiple dates and girl two, just a week, no dates. The first girl never called me, rarely texted me first and I was always the one making plans and arrangements. The second girl gave me her number the night we matched, texted me first in the morning and that night she called me because our convo was 🔥. After the first date she texted me wanting to come over. It was clear who was really into me and who wasn’t. If a chick is into you, she will seek you out. Otherwise, ditch the girl who doesn’t and move on. Ps. The second girl and I are still together. 🙂
'If she texts you first or texts you frequently; or follows through on hanging out and doesn't cancel; if she initiates plans to hang out with you or talking to you; if she remembers little things about you, she likes you and it's so obvious.' It's not obvious to socially stunted guys who grew up with a single mother and younger sister but this is all good to know-even if at long last. 🙇 Thank you for the advice and sticking up for us!
I have a habit of attracting women that just really want the attention, despite my not initiating it. They're kind of in my face, texting, calling, wanting to hangout, get to know me, etc. etc. etc. Finally, after a while of doing this and reciprocating, I'll eventually call it out and want to clarify if we're a thing or not. Every single time it results in them having an epiphany and realizing they're not ready either for a relationship with me or a relationship in general. And they're apologetic and feel like better women for having me call them out. I mean, I guess I'm happy I can help them figure themselves out, but I'm so sick of being "that guy" that helps them figure themselves out (cue Celine from Before Sunset). I'm just chillin', lookin' for my best friend, but I feel like even that's asking too much sometimes. *le sigh* Btw, I've been a casual viewer of your channel for a couple of months now. I like watching your videos to check in with myself, making sure I'm aware of my own behavior as well as others. Thanks for the tips and assists!
Hi Chano, do you consider yourself to be an attractive high value guy? I get the same issue. I don't struggle to attract girls and go on dates easily and move to sex easily. BUT, whenever there is a girl I really like and I show it, it turns her radar on as if I am too invested and she pulls away drastically. In some way I think I am being used for sex and possibly my good energy, I don't spend money on them apart from a date here and there. What is your experience?
Glad to watch part II of this amazing conversation. Rebecca and Courtney, really both of you are among the most high value women of this generation. May I deserve a life partner like Rebecca or Courtney🙏
Just check out the "is she into you' vid by casually explained if you really wanna know in all seriousness, great vid courtney. Agree on the overthink points
@@marialaden4259 For basketball, 6'10. For a jockey, 5'2. The taller you are the more expensive the coffin, so as you get older develop a hunch, get an anklectomy and your family will love you even more than they do now.
The truth is often hard and confronting, but better for you as a person in the long run. In my case on this topic it's the fact that all the women I was into (and over the years that where quite a lot) didn't like me. So eventually I checked out all together, which was hard decision to make. But since then my life has been so much better. No more stress/anxiety about being unsure (but actually knowing) if the woman I had a soft spot for liked me or not. Just doing my own thing now, things that actually make me happy and give me energy.
Its the truth!! 100 percent Courtney!! I have been recently having this type of mindset towards women. If you have known the person you have wanted to date for a good amount of time but your on the fence about making a move most likely their not interested however you will only truly know if you ask them out on a date, or even just asking them "hey what are we" or I like you more then a friend ect.
"If someone is into you, you'll know." I never have in the past, why should I expect to in the future? Maybe for neurotypicals this is true, but for people like me who...struggle at best with social cues, that's a whole other ballgame.
@@duncanmcauley7932 I'm not saying there won't _be_ anybody in the future who might be "into me". I'm saying that just expecting that I'll "just know" is a tad unrealistic.
on one hand I hope that this is true, on the other it means that I've never been around somebody who likes me. Here's hoping for something better to come
Thank you so much Courtney for posting this video. By what you described about dealing with someone who doesn't show the same or any kind of mutual interest in you that you have towards them then it's time to let them go. Also that to take notice of these non verbal cues that other people show you through their actions, because people are who they are based on what they do and not what they say.
Thank you Courtney, this is perfect. I'm dealing with something right now (I don't want to share it on here) but I definitely needed this video to give me perspective. I surely appreciate and love your content.
The #1 spot is the most obvious one because if she really likes you and wants something Real and doesn't have time to play immature games, she reciprocate to you everytime!, call you, text you, leave you messages on social media, she'll even want to pay for you on a dinner date depending how much she is into the Guy and if he plays his cards right ect if you have to second guess, keep asking, and confused about where you stand with her than she ain't the one for you. Time IS Precious and that's something you can't buy back time with money. #2 is what I fell victim to a couple times when I was younger because I didn't have much knowledge, wisdom, and experience of female nature. Yes Courtney I do agree both genders do this but in my own experience I run into this problem More with Women. #3 is the type of people I just get repelled by because playing immature games and wasting time is NOT what I want to do. Thank You so much Courtney for also showing us in detail about the signs she'll do when she doesn't like the Guy, You literally just saved alot of Guys from wasting time, resources, frustration, and headaches 👍
For decades I've been a people pleaser, actually until very recently when I had a near death experience. Now, because of that close call and my deteriorating health I barely care about folks who are not very into ME. I never realized before that my time is extremely precious (to me) and others don't understand that so I need to safe guard my time and be highly selective. I regret tremendously that it took decades and a miserable marriage to walk up from my sleep walk.
So I think there is probably some difference in emotional aptitude between men and women, and that I've been worse at this than most men. I've definitely been the guy thats had a girl do everything except take off her clothes and put her tongue in my mouth and not picked up on it at all, not done anything about it and kept on doing/talking about whatever nerd thing I was on about at the time. The better title would be "if someone is into you, you should know, but you didnt, because you were bad at this"
Some things are just black and white…like Courtney’s shirt haha 😂. Very appropriate attire for giving us the to the point advice and knowledge. Great video, keep up the great work.
in my experience women tend to avoid talking to men they like because they simply are too nervous, having her friend tell you that she likes you is a very common tactic among women when they are too afraid of rejection or actually having their emotions reciprocated. don't underestimate the numbers of how many women this applies to. as for my experience exclusively i've heard from more than a couple of women i've had no idea about had a thing for me, mostly because they would avoid eye contact, go quiet whenever i entered the room and so on. it happened so often that i've heard that being the case so now i've gotten used to it being like that in general so now i get an ego boost from women who obviously make a point in avoiding me even though they might not even like me like that, i still will think "yeah i know, too much too handle it's ok, i'll be here when you're ready". it's so cringe hearing myself explain how i act like that, but that's the gods honest truth. like really, it doesn't matter what women do, i will believe that they like me, but i won't act on it until they explicitly tell me or show me. a fools fantasy you could say, but hey it's better thinking positive thoughts than the opposite.
@@jleano609 you mean that i like her and wanna ask her out? i don't know, depends on the situation. there's like a lot of ways you can approach women, and women tend to get approached a lot so yeah, it's not like they aren't used to it. infact, just take the hint and leave if they reject you if you take the shot because there's no amount of gold in the world that can make her love you the way you want to be loved. now if she's not rejecting you, then it's game on. however just a disclaimer, just because you find her attractive doesn't mean she's good for you and that's something you have to sus out, that's why i tend to say and do stuff that gives me an idea who she is without directly asking her because women can say a lot of things just to please you if she really likes you. and keep in mind, women aren't angels.
Body language is more important than the content of a person's speech and actions speak louder than words. Unless the person has a Hollywood-calibre acting ability, it's very difficult for them to manipulate their true intentions with their behaviour.
The worst is when she gives all the signals that she's into you, and then ghosts you. It's kind of why I've stopped putting emotional investment into this, it's exhausting and it hurts.
I don't know about that. I've had multiple women tell me years later after moving away that they had a mad crush on me at the time we hung out, and I never had a hint to go off of.
So many guys I've known become so obsessed with pursuing girls they have no shot with -they're either locked in the friend zone, they're just being used, the object of their affection has no idea they're even alive, etc. (Likely we've all been a little guilty of this perhaps) This can go on for years, all the while they're oblivious to the signals being sent by other girls who genuinely like them.
I'm not the smartest guy out there, but I'm smart enough - and have enough self-respect for myself - to be with someone you genuinely likes and/or is interested in me. Too busy for games and other immature B.S.!
Ok yes I've been majorly scammed big time, like $4000! But meeting someone recently who is thought ful real sweet and ready for a fun but respectful relationship just makes me appreciate her all the more and I realize how precious it really is.
Great advice as always - Courtney! Today I want to share with you my favorite way to know… when a girl is into you. And it has been happening to me lately with this new girl at work. When a girl seems to always be close by whenever you look around, and sometimes you catch her looking… not only that, she smiles, and not only that - this is a dead giveaway, she ALWAYS LOOKS OVER HER SHOULDER at me, she never turns around it seems… and you could tell she’s waiting for me to go talk to her, and I don’t, and I can tell it’s frustrating to her… (And I’m not doing this to be mean, and she’s beautiful, she could probably have any guy she wants)… and I’m waiting to see what will happen eventually, I know the right thing to do is to go over, and introduce myself… but for some reason, even I don’t understand, I choose not to - maybe I like the tension it’s creating between the two of us… I don’t know… Anyway, that’s my two cents. -Carlos Verde - Dating Tips
I have Aspergers and yet I have always known when someone was into me. The tricky thing was when I wanted someone to be into me and interpreteded things that weren't there to justify my own feelings.
I'm 31 years old, Had a break up, after 2 years of relationship. I always thought guilty, nothing was enough,i was focused and she used to call me vampire, manipulator and victim or things like - 'You have problems' , go to psychologist, go to a coacher. After we break up I started ask close people and friends about her, apparently nobody really liked her that much. I was so deep in love that I've never notice anything negative about her. After many deep thoughts sitting and thinking, rebuilding the puzzle from the past, I've found out that I was loving egocentric person. I would love to see your comment on my story Courtney 🙏🏻
Not gonna lie, at first I thought Courtney is a "one hit wonder" with her Mr. Organik video. But seems like she's able to put out quality content after that which is quite good
I've experienced all of this stuff in the past. It was hurtful, & I've eventually gotten over all of those women. My last real heartbreak was back in 2019, & I basically just decided not to go after anyone anymore & focus on me. In the past 2+ years, I've come to the conclusion that I am demisexual (Meaning that I only fall in love with people if I form a strong emotional bond with them). At this stage I'm basically just waiting for the right person. Hopefully this (Courtney's post & my own testimony) helps others find out who they are & what they're looking for.
Absolutely Correct. More disturbing however is the next step, this little 'human nature' jewel-fact: "Once you discover someone is 'into you' they will instantly become less desirable". Human nature....you will de-value them...once we 'obtain' (no matter what 'it' is) we are prone to devalue and take 'it' for granted. We want are wired to want 'more'. This is true regardless of the object. whether we are obtaining inanimate objects or relationship/sexual conquests. This is why it is imperative to discipline oneself on the habitual practice of 'learning to impute highest value' on the boyfriend/girlfriend once you have determined they are your choice. It is an unnatural purposefully disciplined practice as it will often go against your feelings (which, as lagging indicators will catch up). Once you learn to 'always pour high value praise and actions' on your mate you are on your way to a mutually healthy relationship. Both must practice this for it to work. It is a great 'first step' exercise for boyfriends and girlfriends to work on together because it will be new for both.
“Always pour high value praise and value” on her? No brother, that’s exactly the way to exacerbate the problem you talk of, that once a woman “has” you, her attraction drops because she is more comfortable. A guy still needs to be a challenge, compliment her only when she’s really earned it, limit ILYs, give her quality time but never give her TOO MUCH of you. Maintain work, hobby and friend groups and of course exercise. She still should have to compete with those for your very valuable attention.
Well, there is a distinct difference between 'being a beta simp' lavishing praise on your woman to get her to like you and 'being the alpha leader' building your woman up to the high value woman you assume/expect her to be. I don't 'assume' I'm an 'alpha' or a 'leader' I AM an alpha and a leader. There is again a clear and distinct difference between 'learning the attributes as roles' and innately possessing them from birth. I firmly believe 'alphas' and 'leaders' are genetically coded from birth. I didn't 'learn' to be an alpha or a leader from some online course or some guru. I AM an alpha leader and always have been. Most feminine women love that I am a strong confident leader. It is the angry hostile confused 'alpha females' (that try to control you and put your balls in their purse) that I refuse to argue with. There are plenty of weak-ass beta simps out there for them to control and manipulate...not me.
I should add- THEREFORE, as the strong alpha leader, I am confident enough to building up my woman as I lead her. Literally, in that context there is no amount of high praise that I can pour on her that is 'too much'. I want her to feel as of she is the queen of the universe. A smart confident woman won't leave or cheat on a man that builds her up as he himself is strong, confident, takes care of himself and leads the relationship. If she does? She will regret it the rest of her life.
@@jimbaxter8488 I hear what you are saying but I think there is a balance. Be the strong Alpha leader yes, but you have to be careful of lavishing too much praise and attention, even on your “Queen”. Anything given too freely isn’t valued by any woman, and you risk pedestalizing her (or her thinking that) at turning her off. But don’t be a dick either, find a balance. Other than that, being an Alpha Is like being cool or going to Fight Club. If you have to talk about it………
So basically, if she does the opposite of everything listed under "if she doesn't like you", means she likes you. To reiterate: * She texts you back and first. * She has long conversations with you. * Looks forward to hanging out and actually hangs out with you. * Doesn't make excuses but looks for opportunities to be with you.
@@joshnocera9064 there are guys that curse out girls if they don’t give their numbers to them: “fuck you u ain’t cute anyway” etc etc. they most likely just want to avoid that.
Your videos are some of the best advise you can get in the topic. I get what you saying. But “yourself” as a judge about something about “yourself”… it’s never really good. Cause you are your own strictest judge. That’s why we question if the signs we think we maybe see really are there or not. Cause we are biased in the situation. We want the signs to be there. But we don’t wanna let us think anything is a sign… from that we be more critical… and we get the uncertainty. Just to get a friend or family member to watch a text u got from them or somehow get your friend to be able to see you communicate with the one will give you a better view of the situation. Cause when you are inside the situation you are probably nervous and thinking about being you from your best side etc… and that makes you less receptive to signals. However… it feels wrong to show your bff the conversation between you and the one… and what, shall they spy on you two or shall you invite them with you🤷♂️ Yea.. that’s easier if you have friends both you two hang out with. They maybe see things you don’t see… maybe they even know things… To someone the signs are clear as day, and to others they are not even existing. I maybe feel like I almost scream it out loud in their face… but they don’t even heard a whisper.
I’ve been on two dates with a girl and everything has gone extremely well. Except the fact that I always start the convos, always make the plans. When we first met I could tell she was kind of shy but she’s opened up a lot more. And I’m sort of in this weird spot where I’m like halfway out the door cause it feels like a one way street but I also feel like she’s somewhat interested. I’m probably just going to ask her “hey are you interested? If not no worries just wanted to know 😊” Ps thanks Courtney for everything. I’ve been a lot more open to dating and tbh I don’t care now if things don’t pan out right away. I just wish them well and on I go 🙏🏻
Two dates isn’t enough. Just keep asking for dates but keep them low key and casual and see if she opens up to you, emotionally and physically. On Date 3 a girl should be ready for kissing at least (date 2 actually but no matter, better too slow than too fast). Don’t seek validation, it’s the girl’s job for that just like it’s the girl who asks for the relationship, not the guy, and if she’s shy and inexperienced it may just take a bit longer.
I couldn’t agree more with this video you made. I met this Girl on tinder, she was just my type, she showed me alot of interest. we went on a date and the date went very Well and we even kissed on the first date because the chemistry was on point. After the date i asked her if she would like to go for a second date with me, she didn’t answer me at all and stopped texting me completely. I’m not a simp, and i’m not clingy and i’m not needy at all. She left me as a gigantic question Mark, i was so confused and i most admit that I Got a little sad. All of a sudden she text me and says she’s not ready for a relationship. I respect the fact that she’s not ready for a relationship, but what i don’t get is why would she leave me so confused ? I felt so bad i thought i did something wrong even thou i didn’t. The thing that confused the most was that she showed me a lot og interest, then she wasn’t interested that was what confused me the most.
You’re right and i Can tell you that i have deleted everything related to her because as i Said i’m not a simp or needy or clingy, i have self respect. I have moved on completely. But thanks for the advise buddy, it helped me even more
When you are together you will find that your accomplishments take on the speed of glue. This is an asset because you will never forget the fine details and finishing strokes that make projects masterpieces. Every action you employ is well thought out, organized, filed, cross referenced and above all methodical. The only stick in the ointment for you is any unexpected turn of events that totally disrupts your nervous system and drives you both to another pack of cigarettes or activates your sweet tooth. You can work for hours on projects that people have lost interest in, because that's just the fun kind of couple you are! Once you have a project finished, I defy anyone to try to make changes in your presentation or your ideas. This is where your stubborn and strong willed nature is stimulated and the symbol of the Bull emerges. Like the homing pigeon who flies home the same way every time, you do everything in your lives the same way, day after day even if you hate the routine while complaining at the same time. As long as you are left alone at whatever you do, your mannerisms return to a domesticated state, waiting for the next poor soul to challenge your position. You never have to worry about being rushed or pushed around, nor would you allow it, unless there is a monetary incentive, roses, candlelight dinner, jewelry, real estate or love involved. Then the two of you become putty in any ones hands. You are considered to be a rock, headstrong, opinionated, solid, reliable and dependable. You are sensible and practical in all matters and your appearance is cool, calm and collected, and unemotional most of the time, which masks a great strength which is an asset to you in times of struggle. Security on the job, finances which balance in your favor and a home which is your piece of the rock hold utmost importance to you both. Should someone suggest a move or change to you, you are likely to put up a struggle that the world will not soon forget. You can be found sitting at the front door of your home, job or marriage (no matter how bad it is) long after everything has been changed, finalized or long forgotten. Both of you have an enthusiastic approach to all things beautiful, whether love or art forms, and can be quite at home among nature. Your attractiveness has an earthy quality which makes people feel at home with you immediately. This is the spell you weave to get others into your web. Once inside you do not give them up easily, if at all. Look to the house where Venus is located to see where Money can be obtained, or where you share the good life. On the Midheaven: How you are seen as a couple Midheaven in Aquarius Since this is the most "visible" part of the composite chart, it represents how you are actually seen in the world by others. It represents your more outward or public face and where you are likely to encounter success, and your reputation in the world as a couple. Your mutual goals together will exhibit a positive kind of temperament although somewhat uncertain about matters with sudden urges. You will be intuitive with above average intelligence and can organizing almost anything. Intelligence in a cool, calm and collected way that allows no room for feelings. Spiritual matters are much more important than material ones for you both. Very rebellious spirit looking for adventure pretty much describe your lives together. You are always looking forward to the future and how life will progress. Change, progress and innovative methods in human development keep you strongly attuned to causes or social betterment. You are idealists when it comes to any kind of social unfairness, human rights or uniformity. There are times in your life when you will forego your own needs in favor of the needs of others. Your beliefs are unchangeable once an opinion is formed and you keep up to date in the latest developments. You will enjoy active participation in groups or community affairs together as well. You are friendly but keep an impersonal distance from others. Your acquaintances number many, but you can count your real friends usually on one hand. As friends you are detached and impartial. Because of your rational responses to your environment, you keep your emotions close to you and reveal them only to those who warrant it. Your independence keeps you from being overpowered or dominated by others. Marriage, relationships and tending to children are far from being customary and probably lean to what would shock most people. The tenth house is the home of worldly aspirations and attainment. This sector shows how you present yourself to the public, and deeds for which you leave behind as your legacy, or what you will be remembered for. The tenth has domain over the profession, public offices held, and your reputation. The combined energy of Aquarius here, indicates that whatever you choose to do will be inventive, unique and original together. Working for humanitarian rights and being a team player are of the utmost importance to you. Aquarius here indicates working in politics or before the public in some way. Look to the house where Uranus is located to see what kind of career you might choose, or how you will be remembered. Sun in 9th house The Sun in the 9th house will give both of you great insights into the makeup of the world around you. You will have a great interest in religion, law, philosophy, metaphysics and you may decide to travel quite a bit in order to grow. Instead of a relationship you might decide that a platonic affair is enough for you, even if sex is involved. Communication will be very important to you both, since you probably share common goals and interests. The only difficult side to the Sun being in the 9th house is that your relationship is likely to be more intellectual than emotional. You can use the Sun energy in the 9th house to make plans for your future together. Sun opposition Moon orb 1° 35' Even though this aspect indicates a strong attraction between you, it also at the same time indicates a rejection of each other as well. There may be a great deal of resistance to the two of you coming together. Yes, there is the excitement you share in being together, but your differences in backgrounds, preferences, dispositions and habits may have you coming from two extremely different worlds. You may find these differences a real turn on at first, but they may not stand up to the test of time. Don't expect live-in arrangements to last for very long, as separations may occur when each of you decides they need more breathing room. But in the same way a magnet attracts, you will find yourself returning to your relationship over and over again. Over a period of time, and once the bond has been formed, it may be next to impossible to escape the grip of one another. Another of the negative sides to this configuration is the need to constantly compete against one another for superiority, not realizing that if you just put your energies together, you could rise to a new level of accomplishment and understanding. One of the reasons you were drawn to each other is to help you grow through obstacles and to see viewpoints other than your own. If one of you is more energetic, outgoing and aggressive and the other is more passive, then this can act to build tension in the relationship. One partner may feel the other is not as serious about commitment or in pulling their own weight. Your relationship is basically out of balance. If you are looking for stability, then perhaps you need to look elsewhere. But if you are looking to grow as a couple, then try it, at least for as long as you can stand it. Your relationship may not be so much an emotional relationship as it is an intellectual one. Yours is perhaps a relationship where you can exchange thoughts and ideas, study, research, spend hours in conversation and enjoy mental stimulation rather than physical. For you, sex takes place mentally rather than physically. Rather than having an emotional rapport, you may be more detached and logical in your relationship. Your conversations will be excellent and since you have so much in common, you probably think the same ways about life in general. You will have no trouble understanding what the other person is talking about. There are very meaningful discussions indicated here and should you be involved in creative or business ventures together, then this aspect is an added boost for the conception of new ideas. You can feel very close to each other with this aspect, without feeling vulnerable, and doing your "own thing" will be a prerequisite for the two of you. Trips and travel, whether local or long distance, are also part of this aspect. Sitting still may be difficult for you both. Sun conjunct Venus orb 2° 1' This aspect signifies that you just plainly love each other. The attraction is so strong between you that even though you may be incompatible by other standards, you still feel like being with your partner because of that love you feel for them. It's not that they won't occasionally drive you nuts - they will. It's just that the bottom line is that there is real love between you and there is no stronger emotion in the universe. By being together you can create beauty and form as well as appreciate art and music. Your home can easily be filled with "treasures" that reflect the talents you have. But as always with Venus, be careful of overindulging in the good things of life so they do not become a noose around your neck instead of an object of desire. Remember, the more things you have, the more trouble you art likely to have. You will not mind showing off what you have accrued together, but vanity can become an undesired side effect of this aspect if it is not kept in check.
Just be aware if you meet someone while they are providing a service for you and they may secretly like you. She could be sending you some of the queues Courtney discussed, only in order to stay professional, she has to hide them.
There was this girl at work and she would always say hi to me several times a day, smile and wave, and make eye contact with me. Then I told her I was 15 years older than her and it turned out she thought I was much younger. She started ignoring me after that. The less you reveal about yourself the better.
![Megan Thee Stallion - Mamushi (Remix) [feat. TWICE] [Official Audio]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/5c0_u9PsrsQ/mqdefault.jpg)
Courtney spoke major facts here. If you find yourself always questioning their motives, they make you feel worried and uncomfortable, their communication skills make you angry; yeah it's time to go. I was just talking to a woman when everytime i tried to make plans to talk; she kept saying we'll talk tomorrow and she never did. So i moved on. You can always attract a better person. Bless your heart Courtney for helping us 😊🙏♥️
Agreed 🙌🏼 thanks Georgio, happy to help!
Love the outfit Courtney
I hear ya GEORGIO! Lol
Today I want to share with you my favorite way to know…
when a girl is into you. And it has been happening to me lately with this new girl at work.
When a girl seems to always be close by whenever you look around, and sometimes you catch her looking…
not only that, she smiles, and not only that - this is a dead giveaway, she ALWAYS LOOKS OVER HER SHOULDER at me, she never turns around it seems…
and you could tell she’s waiting for me to go talk to her, and I don’t, and I can tell it’s frustrating to her…
(And I’m not doing this to be mean, and she’s beautiful, she could probably have any guy she wants)…
and I’m waiting to see what will happen eventually, I know the right thing to do is to go over, and introduce myself…
but for some reason, even I don’t understand, I choose not to - maybe I like the tension it’s creating between the two of us…
I don’t know…
Anyway, that’s my two cents.
-Carlos Verde - Dating Tips
You're not alone man, happens to me plenty of times in my life where she either flakes, cancels last minute, does the opposite of what she says, or just leads me on to try to use me as her "personal therapist" or just to get attention and validation. Always Remember that attention/validation to Women IS what s*x is to Men, it's like crack and they gotta have it 24/7 Best thing you can do is starve her of attention and just move on so keep ya head up, you deserve better for yourself 👍
@@carlosverde-datingtips7001 hahaha that's brilliant tips you have gave Carlos. I remember there was this beautiful blonde girl at school who always used to stare at me and so one morning i decided to say hi to her and see what's up. Turns out, she had boyfriend but still found me attractive i guess. That happens a lot to me 😄. My dating life is so crazy
No sugarcoating, no fat, no beating around the bush. This video feels like a motherly glove-slap in the face that wakes you up from a coma and shocks the doctors.
video goal achieved ✅
I knew my girlfriend was into me from the moment we met for our first date. The smile on her face when she saw me was amazing and we hugged for over a minute.
That's a nice comment
Yeah well I bet you had to be the one to hit her up first or ask her out first
How did you connect? Mutual friend, dating app, party, work?
that seems like a loving forever spouse life
If you have to question if she is "into you," she's not into you. And being with a woman who is not "into you" is a horrible situation. It's better to be alone than with a woman who is not "into you."
You're better off alone anyway. Even if she is "into you" it just means "she's into you TODAY".
@@Inferno5150 HOLY SHIT that sticks out 💯
Agree
Truer words have never been spoken David you are spot on.
Yep. If a girl or guy is into you and WORTH YOUR TIME, it'll more than likely be very obvious and they won't play silly games.
Yep 🙌🏼
Nope 😂🤙
Right, so admit your failure early on
Why do women sometimes claim they want to watch Netflix but then will crawl under the covers without clothes and look at me longingly and not look at the screen? I thought she wanted to watch a movie. If only women would communicate their intentions more directly!
If only such things would happen in real life
Don't know man, she clearly said she wanted to, "Netflix and chill".
I'm sure she's just more comfortable that way.
most guys go over to a womans house and nothing like this happens.
It’s not in their nature to do that - Raymond! Lol
Today I want to share with you my favorite way to know…
when a girl is into you. And it has been happening to me lately with this new girl at work.
When a girl seems to always be close by whenever you look around, and sometimes you catch her looking…
not only that, she smiles, and not only that - this is a dead giveaway, she ALWAYS LOOKS OVER HER SHOULDER at me, she never turns around it seems…
and you could tell she’s waiting for me to go talk to her, and I don’t, and I can tell it’s frustrating to her…
(And I’m not doing this to be mean, and she’s beautiful, she could probably have any guy she wants)…
and I’m waiting to see what will happen eventually, I know the right thing to do is to go over, and introduce myself…
but for some reason, even I don’t understand, I choose not to - maybe I like the tension it’s creating between the two of us…
I don’t know…
Anyway, that’s my two cents.
-Carlos Verde - Dating Tips
@@craiglang3492 she wanted to do more than watch the movie
As long as the interest is mutual and no one is playing games with each other, it's a safe place
You always have a better chance by taking it slowly. Genuine love, let's assume it's a thing, cannot be rushed. Players will drop out.
@@bernibeckmann9753 Exactly 🎯
@@bernibeckmann9753it’s pointless and a waste of energy if you’re the only one putting in the work.
“See it for what it is and not what you want it to be” ~ Courtney Ryan.
Not purely dating related, but because I think it fits: My life got way better when I stopped putting effort into relationships (both platonic and romantic) where I didn't see a similar amount of effort coming back from the other person. I mean, I don't expect people to put in the exact same effort or more, but there are just people that like wouldn't ever hit you up to do something or check on you if you stopped initiating, and most of the times these people won't be worth your time. It's hard to realize and honestly even disheartening when you first start out, but you really learn to value yourself and will be able to focus your energy more on yourself and the people that are worth your effort.
So yeah, great video Courtney, especially the things you mentioned in the middle there just are really valuable for all kinds of relationships!
Facts
That's the same as what I think. I can initiate things once, twice. But at some point I do expect something back. If it doesn't come back and I have to start questioning myself whether it's worth or not - usually it is not. If your gut is telling you something is not right - usually it is not right.
That's the wave I'm on even with friends
I’ve heard many say they learned too late that someone WAS into them but they had no clue.
"Play stupid games, win stupid prizes" - Courtney Ryan
I'ma remember that one. 👌
😂😂👌 “ I can’t breath!!” (play stupid)
Something that has always stuck with me in terms of dating and partner advice was when I asked my dad about if choosing my mom to marry was difficult. He put it very simply. “Marrying your mom was the easiest decision I have ever made. When you both are compatible, that is an easy decision.” This mind you is coming from a guy whom had dated around for awhile prior to meeting my mom. Long story short, Courtney’s video is on point. When you both like each other and find each other compatible it is very easy. Thank you
Agree
The problem is that was a different time. Women like your mom simply don't exist anymore.
It's easy to tell when someone DOESN'T like me. When I was younger, I'd have guys tell me that some girl likes me, but I always doubted them and figured they didn't know what they were talking about. They'd swear that they did, but I still couldn't trust them. I'd even be told that I'm being negative, but I know I'm being realistic. There was this one time I fell for it though, and I felt like crap when I knew I should have trusted my gut all along.
Boy, aint that the truth. The gut rarely lies. When your gut tells you someone is not interested, believe it. Life shitty, unfair, and full of undeserved problems.
I would also add that it’s similar to making friends. You can be the charismatic guy in the room and some people may not like you and that’s okay.
Yes, sometimes some people just don't like you, and there is no reason for it.
@@antonboludo8886 sometimes people don’t like you CAUSE everyone likes you 😂😂😂😂😂
@@Macheako This is rare.
@@Macheako These people are envious of you, then.
@@antonboludo8886 rare, but....not rare enough 😂✌️
I was just coming to say that, while this information may be relevant to most people, there are those of us who genuinely have no idea, whether that be from isolation/lack of social experience and/or mental illness. But then you covered that in the middle of the video. So, I guess the moral of the story here is, watch a whole video before formulating your opinion and complaining about it, lol. Love your vids, thanks for all the great insight
🙌🏼 glad you stuck around for the whole thing. Thank you!
If you’re always the one initiating the conversation..
🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
Hurts but it's true
Its good to know everybody in the world dislikes me. I will act with that in mind.
Love how she chose a blatant black/white top to poetically and visually represent the message of today's video. The content and art is evolving, and I'm proud!
Completely with Courtney. Something I’m working on that may help others is putting myself in positions to simply meet/interact with more women.
The more opportunities you create to interact with women, the more likely you’ll find someone worth pursuing (not chasing) and the less likely you’ll try to make something out of nothing.
PROTECT THIS GIRL AT ALL COST 🙏🏼
Truth! If someone really likes you, they are very difficult to overlook. They aren’t shy and they will usually be there everytime you open your door or answer your phone.
Being a little bit of an overthinker this has been a difficult area for me to master. Considering that men are told "be confident all the time and if you don't you won't be seen as attractive", we push through trying to force the issue. The reality that it doesn't work out many times is humbling. Thank you Courtney for bringing a clear perspective on these issues and conveying that we should value our time. Cheers
Well said: Everything Courtney says here is on point.
The tricky part for some guys is figuring out the genuine article from the ones who are really good at faking interest. It happens.
I think part of the trick to it is “time.” I’ve found many women, even those who are good at faking interest, usually get a bit lazy/bored with having to feign interest and will start to show that inconsistency pretty quickly. So you just have to be patient and not jump in wholeheartedly from the start.
If you’re looking for “the long haul” relationships, then scaling back on the “grand gestures” for two or three months (at least) is nothing. Be patient, and you’ll have an easier time of finding the difference between a convincing faker and a genuine article.
Yes, a guy must play it cool in the early stages. Casual dates and look to escalate to intimacy to see if the desire is there from her, but thereafter it’s up to her to shoot for anything more. If she likes you she’ll be the one asking the “ where do you see this relationship going?” question to which a smart guy replies, “ where would you like it to go?” Basically, relationships are women’s work, you are the gatekeeper, she has to “ open the door”.
I feel ya on that.
This is definitely the case! Someone's willingness or unwillingness to invest time speaks volumes.
Being manipulated by someone you're attracted to is such an awful feeling.
It is and sadly a lot of people experience that. Makes me sad!
Indeed it is.
When it is happening you are in denial. Afterwards feel like a fool for not believing what you thought was happening.
@michaellegrand3892 damn I feel your pain. I hope this is not happening to me with this girl I like. I suppose to hangout with her this soon. I know her from school and I would fix her car here n there n not charge her. But she did some bs to me and I fell back. So 2 years later she hit me up I fix her car. She calls me tell me if I can fix it again. I go there on some this my last time fixing especially if she not paying. Long story short she wanna hangout this weekend. I accepted it . But I sure hope this not a sympathy hangout or a using me/rebound hangout. Cuz I'll be hurt because I do wanna date her
Anybody out there remember mood rings or pendants that would change colors? It would be nice if someone were to develop one that would turn a specific color so you would know if someone were interested in you. You wouldn't have to worry about guessing or misinterpreting signs. Thank you for your advice. Take care.
With some guileless people, there is such a device. It's called a face.
@@cisium1184 HAHAHA
This is a refreshing change of pace. Humans have a habit of focusing on the negative and talking about what wrong looks like, so it's good to see somebody talking about what right looks like. Is a shame that modern society is entitled to the point where we all have our guards up so much when we're dating. It's very hard to find something healthy when you're so focused on not getting burned.
Never met anyone showing this level of interest
yup never understood advice about finding the hidden signs a girl likes you. If a girl likes you they normally make it very obvious.
Great video Courtney.
This was a very very good video.I appreciate this wisdom.I'd like to add a couple of points though.
1 - The inability to read social cues isn't necessarily about social anxiety or being mentally or intellectually impaired.Rather men often simply struggle to rationalize the irrational,such as why women would give you their number in the first place if they weren't interested.
2 - All the social pressure of pursuing a relationship(or just sex) in our society falls upon the male.So if a woman doesn't initiate calling or texting that is often consistent with how women behave when being pursued even when they like you.Hence the confusion.
Thanks for the video.It was very helpful.👍
As a man, I never give people my contact information unless I have a reason to want to (work or personal)
I don't give people the ability to contact me willy nilly
@@brianosterman456
I'm the same way.
But we live in a time of declining social skills(not to mention women who enjoy the validation of suitors) so all types of craziness goes on.
Exactly!!! Women really don't get all the Mixed Signals!
@@brianosterman456 Ikr?!
@@kevinscott59 Absolutely!
Yep. Everything I was about to chime in with, you covered. Behavior is way more important than words. Dull down the shine, and what you want to have happen. Put all that into a different box. Look at it as though you're giving advice to someone else in the same situation. Step outside of it and look from other angles. Men are uniquely good at this, if they try. It is a skill, it requires practice. Good job, Courtney. Real facts here.
Basic, clear and on point. Sit back, analyze, remove the emotion and your answer will be clear. As simple as that. What is just is.
Literally you're the best. I think you're one of the few people men have (not to say what you post doesn't apply to everyone) to listen to that gives advice on self love and self respect and inside on relationships with others but HEALTHY advice, not bitter or immature advice and for that you are appreciated.
I really have to agree with this video. We need to start acting like we know what's going on and that we know what we want.
I've stopped chasing because the juice isn't worthy the squeezed to be treated as dispodassble.
Great stuff here Courtney. Around the 3:28 mark, I'd like to say that if a person is playing those manipulative games, chances are: they have only moderate to low interest in you anyway. People go after what they really want, and so your good examples of what people do when they're _not_ interested, e.g. not texting back, being short in conversation, only hanging out when they get something out of it, etc, are the things they *won't* do (as you explained). People who are playing those games do so because they see someone as a placeholder, rebound, or someone to fall back on when/if the person they're really chasing fails.
i went out to a club on saturday, i didnt even want to stay late, but my friends convicenced me. i ended up with a girl that night, we clicked and the next day we went out with my freind and her other freind, so it was like a doulbe date kinda thing. And weve been texting ever since and tomorow were going to hang out again. another tell sign she likes you is if her friends are helping you out to get with her. honestly id say its very obvious. when a girl likes you. I think i t all comes down to experience, the more you date and go out the better you will be with women.
this is what the world needs, direct and simple, thats the truth. (nice job) 👏🏻
The manipulation is the worst. I wear my heart on my sleeve and always make it a point to be straightforward with my intent, hard to find nowadays…
There are also situations where you really feel like someone is into you because they do all those things she was saying in the video. Then when you try to make a move, it backfires and you get friend zoned. And the other person says they were just being friendly all along. This whole manipulation/playing games is exactly the reason why modern dating sucks ass. I'd much rather stay single because I respect myself. To all of you out there, please understand the importance of self-respect before engaging in dating/relationship. I learned the hard way how tough it is to deal with the aftermath of something when I didn't have self-respect.
I somewhat agree, but there is actually a way to tell.
1. She is either verbally direct and makes some kind of direct move, tells you she likes you, asks you out on a date, etc.
2. Or it is obvious through body language like blushing, unconcious flirting(which is kinda hard to describe), and her seeming visibly awkward and nervous around you.
The latter though might be missed especially by younger inexperienced guys if it isn't blatant enough
Well spoken about everything Courtney. In my personal experience there was one girl I pursued for a short time after I had one conversation when I first met her, gave her a friendly compliment that broke the ice and she started to talk to me. From there I'd go visit her whenever and most times she initiated the conversation or I would. Then at one point I was beginning to look for signs of whether she liked me or not. After a while she started acting like she was hard to get and often hid herself from me which gave me a wakeup call that I don't need to waste anymore time being around her, then to accept that she wasn't into me and I decided to move forward. In my experience of interacting with her, I learned that a simple compliment is a good icebreaker, I've been watching your videos for a short time now and I'd like to continue learning more from you to apply it and find myself a simple girl to date. In addition, I used to do online dating but that was all a different story with a lot of unexpected obstacle of scammers and being ghosted frequently.
I always thought a good rule of thumb would be that if a woman makes any overtures, she is interested in *something*. That might be you, but it might also be your money, your help, your time, a shoulder to cry on, a platonic friendship, all things good or bad. It's not that hard to tell when someone is reaching out to you, it's just hard to tell what they might want. But it's not that hard to tell when a woman is placing herself in your orbit, in which case, it's on the guy to make a connection.
As you said, women have multiple places in their lives where they may be placing you. However, it's pretty damn easy to determine just where she placed you, and if it's not in her romantic sphere -- you need to move on. Moving from Friend Zone to her romantic sphere is a one-in-a-million shot.
It's hard to know if you've spent your life not having anyone place themselves in your orbit.
Or if they did not seeing those signs because you didn't know what to look for.
Shame will make you believe that no one will even find you worthy of being in your life much less your orbit.
Feelings of inadequacy or unworthiness will have you looking downward or, if you're looking up, having blinders on.
One of the reasons why I find her videos so helpful is because she is opening my eyes to the fact that just being present and open to possibilities is enough of a reason for a lot of women to be receptive to me. Becoming aware of the positive things about me is a huge help as well.
@@mattwhite8579 Well said. Good luck bro
I mainly experience this at a gym. When a girl is either glancing or staring at you alot and then tries to be in your orbit. It's a sign. I had a girl linger in my orbit doing exercises I usually don't see her doing. (These are also known as choosing signal) But I still dont make moves and that where I truely fail.
Exactly!!! Women really don't understand the confusion of Mixed Signals.
Sister Courtney, this video has given me so much comfort! Like a Big sister to a brother! Keep making videos like this please! God bless Sister!
"Pay attention to actions instead of words" ... That´s the key, because actions speak louder than words.
I agree that if someone likes you, you'll know/it should be clear...but feelings can change on a dime. I know from experience. I casually dated a guy for a moment, he really made me feel open to being very playful in texting...something I'm usually wary of...& then he pulled away. This was after two wonderful dates, the rest was just fizzle. He let me "know" he was into me...but then something changed, and I'll never know what. This was by no means the love of my life or anything, not throwing a pity party, but I don't think "knowing someone is into us" changes the fact that it can change very fast...for whatever reason(s).
Immature guy
How do I find a woman with such a down to earth personality and beauty like Courtney? I pray she's out there.
Right on, Jordan ! I also have hope for a sincere woman.
This is brutal but very good advice. I've been in relationships where I tried to justify another persons lack of response. I realize now that to keep reaching out is, well, kind of pathetic. On a recent date I asked my oldest daughters opinion. She thought the lady was "testing me." My youngest daughter told me to run. I'm going to listen to my daughters more often and accept that it is what it is. Thank you Courtney.
Guys also we can learn about attachment style seriously a mayor life changing advice,since I identify my attachment style and with discipline and work fix it to secure,I don't take things personal,or care too much about (in dating even in other areas of life) and also you can identify the attachment style of the person you are dating so you know what to expect or how to proceed, I promise you guys life changing advice !!
I’m glad I saw this video and I’ll share a story that happened to me recently. In short, I was talking to multiple girls, but two different girls in particular.
I knew the first girl for about a month went on multiple dates and girl two, just a week, no dates. The first girl never called me, rarely texted me first and I was always the one making plans and arrangements.
The second girl gave me her number the night we matched, texted me first in the morning and that night she called me because our convo was 🔥. After the first date she texted me wanting to come over.
It was clear who was really into me and who wasn’t.
If a chick is into you, she will seek you out. Otherwise, ditch the girl who doesn’t and move on.
Ps. The second girl and I are still together. 🙂
She said “you’re probably being a little bit of a simp…. that’s okay, I’m here for you!” 😂
'If she texts you first or texts you frequently; or follows through on hanging out and doesn't cancel; if she initiates plans to hang out with you or talking to you; if she remembers little things about you, she likes you and it's so obvious.'
It's not obvious to socially stunted guys who grew up with a single mother and younger sister but this is all good to know-even if at long last.
🙇 Thank you for the advice and sticking up for us!
Yes you are right. I want to thank you. Sit back learning about a person first...
I have a habit of attracting women that just really want the attention, despite my not initiating it. They're kind of in my face, texting, calling, wanting to hangout, get to know me, etc. etc. etc. Finally, after a while of doing this and reciprocating, I'll eventually call it out and want to clarify if we're a thing or not. Every single time it results in them having an epiphany and realizing they're not ready either for a relationship with me or a relationship in general. And they're apologetic and feel like better women for having me call them out. I mean, I guess I'm happy I can help them figure themselves out, but I'm so sick of being "that guy" that helps them figure themselves out (cue Celine from Before Sunset). I'm just chillin', lookin' for my best friend, but I feel like even that's asking too much sometimes. *le sigh*
Btw, I've been a casual viewer of your channel for a couple of months now. I like watching your videos to check in with myself, making sure I'm aware of my own behavior as well as others. Thanks for the tips and assists!
The 'Before' trilogy..
👍👍👍
Hi Chano, do you consider yourself to be an attractive high value guy? I get the same issue. I don't struggle to attract girls and go on dates easily and move to sex easily. BUT, whenever there is a girl I really like and I show it, it turns her radar on as if I am too invested and she pulls away drastically.
In some way I think I am being used for sex and possibly my good energy, I don't spend money on them apart from a date here and there.
What is your experience?
Glad to watch part II of this amazing conversation. Rebecca and Courtney, really both of you are among the most high value women of this generation.
May I deserve a life partner like Rebecca or Courtney🙏
Just check out the "is she into you' vid by casually explained if you really wanna know
in all seriousness, great vid courtney. Agree on the overthink points
Thank you! ❤️
@@CourtneyRyan what is the perfect body height
@@marialaden4259 that's a strange question ?
@@marialaden4259 For basketball, 6'10. For a jockey, 5'2. The taller you are the more expensive the coffin, so as you get older develop a hunch, get an anklectomy and your family will love you even more than they do now.
Apparently the girl I've liked for months didn't know until I basically told her. Fun times.
The truth is often hard and confronting, but better for you as a person in the long run. In my case on this topic it's the fact that all the women I was into (and over the years that where quite a lot) didn't like me. So eventually I checked out all together, which was hard decision to make. But since then my life has been so much better. No more stress/anxiety about being unsure (but actually knowing) if the woman I had a soft spot for liked me or not. Just doing my own thing now, things that actually make me happy and give me energy.
Its the truth!! 100 percent Courtney!! I have been recently having this type of mindset towards women. If you have known the person you have wanted to date for a good amount of time but your on the fence about making a move most likely their not interested however you will only truly know if you ask them out on a date, or even just asking them "hey what are we" or I like you more then a friend ect.
"If someone is into you, you'll know." I never have in the past, why should I expect to in the future? Maybe for neurotypicals this is true, but for people like me who...struggle at best with social cues, that's a whole other ballgame.
Something could happen in the future when you least expect it, life is funny like that
@@duncanmcauley7932 I'm not saying there won't _be_ anybody in the future who might be "into me". I'm saying that just expecting that I'll "just know" is a tad unrealistic.
Just assume they don't like from the start.
That way, you'll never be disappointed.
Your energy is so calming and mesmerising
on one hand I hope that this is true, on the other it means that I've never been around somebody who likes me. Here's hoping for something better to come
Relationship is difficult thing because it relates by time but we might choose a right person and think in positives things.
Thank you so much Courtney for posting this video. By what you described about dealing with someone who doesn't show the same or any kind of mutual interest in you that you have towards them then it's time to let them go. Also that to take notice of these non verbal cues that other people show you through their actions, because people are who they are based on what they do and not what they say.
Thank you Courtney, this is perfect. I'm dealing with something right now (I don't want to share it on here) but I definitely needed this video to give me perspective. I surely appreciate and love your content.
You are what you do not what you say you are. I like that mentality. Sadly alot of times that doesn't always work out.
This is great. I just had this conversation with a friend. So many people are in denial.
The #1 spot is the most obvious one because if she really likes you and wants something Real and doesn't have time to play immature games, she reciprocate to you everytime!, call you, text you, leave you messages on social media, she'll even want to pay for you on a dinner date depending how much she is into the Guy and if he plays his cards right ect if you have to second guess, keep asking, and confused about where you stand with her than she ain't the one for you. Time IS Precious and that's something you can't buy back time with money. #2 is what I fell victim to a couple times when I was younger because I didn't have much knowledge, wisdom, and experience of female nature. Yes Courtney I do agree both genders do this but in my own experience I run into this problem More with Women. #3 is the type of people I just get repelled by because playing immature games and wasting time is NOT what I want to do. Thank You so much Courtney for also showing us in detail about the signs she'll do when she doesn't like the Guy, You literally just saved alot of Guys from wasting time, resources, frustration, and headaches 👍
For decades I've been a people pleaser, actually until very recently when I had a near death experience. Now, because of that close call and my deteriorating health I barely care about folks who are not very into ME. I never realized before that my time is extremely precious (to me) and others don't understand that so I need to safe guard my time and be highly selective. I regret tremendously that it took decades and a miserable marriage to walk up from my sleep walk.
Ms Courtney you are down to earth and the best. Thank you so much for sharing your knowledge. ❤
So I think there is probably some difference in emotional aptitude between men and women, and that I've been worse at this than most men.
I've definitely been the guy thats had a girl do everything except take off her clothes and put her tongue in my mouth and not picked up on it at all, not done anything about it and kept on doing/talking about whatever nerd thing I was on about at the time.
The better title would be "if someone is into you, you should know, but you didnt, because you were bad at this"
Equal give and take is key, let alone communication. Both pretty basic things that shouldn't be negotiable if not given freely
Some things are just black and white…like Courtney’s shirt haha 😂. Very appropriate attire for giving us the to the point advice and knowledge. Great video, keep up the great work.
LOL this is brilliant 😂
Look to the cookie
in my experience women tend to avoid talking to men they like because they simply are too nervous, having her friend tell you that she likes you is a very common tactic among women when they are too afraid of rejection or actually having their emotions reciprocated.
don't underestimate the numbers of how many women this applies to.
as for my experience exclusively i've heard from more than a couple of women i've had no idea about had a thing for me, mostly because they would avoid eye contact, go quiet whenever i entered the room and so on.
it happened so often that i've heard that being the case so now i've gotten used to it being like that in general so now i get an ego boost from women who obviously make a point in avoiding me even though they might not even like me like that, i still will think "yeah i know, too much too handle it's ok, i'll be here when you're ready".
it's so cringe hearing myself explain how i act like that, but that's the gods honest truth.
like really, it doesn't matter what women do, i will believe that they like me, but i won't act on it until they explicitly tell me or show me.
a fools fantasy you could say, but hey it's better thinking positive thoughts than the opposite.
Ok, but the question is, assuming you find a girl who is acting in this way attractive, what do YOU do?
@@jleano609 you mean that i like her and wanna ask her out?
i don't know, depends on the situation.
there's like a lot of ways you can approach women, and women tend to get approached a lot so yeah, it's not like they aren't used to it.
infact, just take the hint and leave if they reject you if you take the shot because there's no amount of gold in the world that can make her love you the way you want to be loved.
now if she's not rejecting you, then it's game on.
however just a disclaimer, just because you find her attractive doesn't mean she's good for you and that's something you have to sus out, that's why i tend to say and do stuff that gives me an idea who she is without directly asking her because women can say a lot of things just to please you if she really likes you.
and keep in mind, women aren't angels.
Body language is more important than the content of a person's speech and actions speak louder than words. Unless the person has a Hollywood-calibre acting ability, it's very difficult for them to manipulate their true intentions with their behaviour.
The worst is when she gives all the signals that she's into you, and then ghosts you.
It's kind of why I've stopped putting emotional investment into this, it's exhausting and it hurts.
This stuff is totally true. No woman is into me at the moment.
I don't know about that. I've had multiple women tell me years later after moving away that they had a mad crush on me at the time we hung out, and I never had a hint to go off of.
So many guys I've known become so obsessed with pursuing girls they have no shot with -they're either locked in the friend zone, they're just being used, the object of their affection has no idea they're even alive, etc. (Likely we've all been a little guilty of this perhaps) This can go on for years, all the while they're oblivious to the signals being sent by other girls who genuinely like them.
I'm not the smartest guy out there, but I'm smart enough - and have enough self-respect for myself - to be with someone you genuinely likes and/or is interested in me.
Too busy for games and other immature B.S.!
Ok yes I've been majorly scammed big time, like $4000! But meeting someone recently who is thought ful real sweet and ready for a fun but respectful relationship just makes me appreciate her all the more and I realize how precious it really is.
Great advice as always - Courtney!
Today I want to share with you my favorite way to know…
when a girl is into you. And it has been happening to me lately with this new girl at work.
When a girl seems to always be close by whenever you look around, and sometimes you catch her looking…
not only that, she smiles, and not only that - this is a dead giveaway, she ALWAYS LOOKS OVER HER SHOULDER at me, she never turns around it seems…
and you could tell she’s waiting for me to go talk to her, and I don’t, and I can tell it’s frustrating to her…
(And I’m not doing this to be mean, and she’s beautiful, she could probably have any guy she wants)…
and I’m waiting to see what will happen eventually, I know the right thing to do is to go over, and introduce myself…
but for some reason, even I don’t understand, I choose not to - maybe I like the tension it’s creating between the two of us…
I don’t know…
Anyway, that’s my two cents.
-Carlos Verde - Dating Tips
Did you just quote yourself?
I have Aspergers and yet I have always known when someone was into me. The tricky thing was when I wanted someone to be into me and interpreteded things that weren't there to justify my own feelings.
I'm 31 years old, Had a break up, after 2 years of relationship.
I always thought guilty, nothing was enough,i was focused and she used to call me vampire, manipulator and victim or things like - 'You have problems' , go to psychologist, go to a coacher.
After we break up I started ask close people and friends about her, apparently nobody really liked her that much.
I was so deep in love that I've never notice anything negative about her.
After many deep thoughts sitting and thinking, rebuilding the puzzle from the past, I've found out that I was loving egocentric person.
I would love to see your comment on my story Courtney 🙏🏻
Not gonna lie, at first I thought Courtney is a "one hit wonder" with her Mr. Organik video. But seems like she's able to put out quality content after that which is quite good
You always seem to release videos about topics that I’m literally going through at the moment lol. I appreciate you as always.
I'm here just to say, I missed you so much courtney.
This girl's a saint
I've experienced all of this stuff in the past. It was hurtful, & I've eventually gotten over all of those women. My last real heartbreak was back in 2019, & I basically just decided not to go after anyone anymore & focus on me. In the past 2+ years, I've come to the conclusion that I am demisexual (Meaning that I only fall in love with people if I form a strong emotional bond with them). At this stage I'm basically just waiting for the right person. Hopefully this (Courtney's post & my own testimony) helps others find out who they are & what they're looking for.
Great line on playing stupid games and winning stupid prizes!
Attention is Everything and Ghosting is True Move on , No stalker Mentality , Leave Gracefully, Don't wait on no contact order that's 💯 Messy
Absolutely Correct. More disturbing however is the next step, this little 'human nature' jewel-fact: "Once you discover someone is 'into you' they will instantly become less desirable". Human nature....you will de-value them...once we 'obtain' (no matter what 'it' is) we are prone to devalue and take 'it' for granted. We want are wired to want 'more'. This is true regardless of the object. whether we are obtaining inanimate objects or relationship/sexual conquests. This is why it is imperative to discipline oneself on the habitual practice of 'learning to impute highest value' on the boyfriend/girlfriend once you have determined they are your choice. It is an unnatural purposefully disciplined practice as it will often go against your feelings (which, as lagging indicators will catch up). Once you learn to 'always pour high value praise and actions' on your mate you are on your way to a mutually healthy relationship. Both must practice this for it to work. It is a great 'first step' exercise for boyfriends and girlfriends to work on together because it will be new for both.
“Always pour high value praise and value” on her? No brother, that’s exactly the way to exacerbate the problem you talk of, that once a woman “has” you, her attraction drops because she is more comfortable. A guy still needs to be a challenge, compliment her only when she’s really earned it, limit ILYs, give her quality time but never give her TOO MUCH of you. Maintain work, hobby and friend groups and of course exercise. She still should have to compete with those for your very valuable attention.
Well, there is a distinct difference between 'being a beta simp' lavishing praise on your woman to get her to like you and 'being the alpha leader' building your woman up to the high value woman you assume/expect her to be. I don't 'assume' I'm an 'alpha' or a 'leader' I AM an alpha and a leader. There is again a clear and distinct difference between 'learning the attributes as roles' and innately possessing them from birth. I firmly believe 'alphas' and 'leaders' are genetically coded from birth. I didn't 'learn' to be an alpha or a leader from some online course or some guru. I AM an alpha leader and always have been. Most feminine women love that I am a strong confident leader. It is the angry hostile confused 'alpha females' (that try to control you and put your balls in their purse) that I refuse to argue with. There are plenty of weak-ass beta simps out there for them to control and manipulate...not me.
I should add- THEREFORE, as the strong alpha leader, I am confident enough to building up my woman as I lead her. Literally, in that context there is no amount of high praise that I can pour on her that is 'too much'. I want her to feel as of she is the queen of the universe. A smart confident woman won't leave or cheat on a man that builds her up as he himself is strong, confident, takes care of himself and leads the relationship. If she does? She will regret it the rest of her life.
@@jimbaxter8488 I hear what you are saying but I think there is a balance. Be the strong Alpha leader yes, but you have to be careful of lavishing too much praise and attention, even on your “Queen”. Anything given too freely isn’t valued by any woman, and you risk pedestalizing her (or her thinking that) at turning her off. But don’t be a dick either, find a balance.
Other than that, being an Alpha Is like being cool or going to Fight Club. If you have to talk about it………
So basically, if she does the opposite of everything listed under "if she doesn't like you", means she likes you.
To reiterate:
* She texts you back and first.
* She has long conversations with you.
* Looks forward to hanging out and actually hangs out with you.
* Doesn't make excuses but looks for opportunities to be with you.
Also, remembering details about you from past conversations
Why would a girl give you her number if she didn’t like you?
@Nic777 we all were guilty of that one bro , just a path to learning our life lesson , now give who gives you
@@joshnocera9064 there are guys that curse out girls if they don’t give their numbers to them: “fuck you u ain’t cute anyway” etc etc. they most likely just want to avoid that.
@@joshnocera9064 brooooo so f tire and I messed up
Your videos are some of the best advise you can get in the topic. I get what you saying.
But
“yourself” as a judge about something about “yourself”… it’s never really good. Cause you are your own strictest judge.
That’s why we question if the signs we think we maybe see really are there or not.
Cause we are biased in the situation. We want the signs to be there. But we don’t wanna let us think anything is a sign… from that we be more critical… and we get the uncertainty.
Just to get a friend or family member to watch a text u got from them or somehow get your friend to be able to see you communicate with the one will give you a better view of the situation.
Cause when you are inside the situation you are probably nervous and thinking about being you from your best side etc… and that makes you less receptive to signals.
However… it feels wrong to show your bff the conversation between you and the one… and what, shall they spy on you two or shall you invite them with you🤷♂️
Yea.. that’s easier if you have friends both you two hang out with. They maybe see things you don’t see… maybe they even know things…
To someone the signs are clear as day, and to others they are not even existing.
I maybe feel like I almost scream it out loud in their face… but they don’t even heard a whisper.
I’ve been on two dates with a girl and everything has gone extremely well. Except the fact that I always start the convos, always make the plans. When we first met I could tell she was kind of shy but she’s opened up a lot more. And I’m sort of in this weird spot where I’m like halfway out the door cause it feels like a one way street but I also feel like she’s somewhat interested.
I’m probably just going to ask her “hey are you interested? If not no worries just wanted to know 😊”
Ps thanks Courtney for everything. I’ve been a lot more open to dating and tbh I don’t care now if things don’t pan out right away. I just wish them well and on I go 🙏🏻
Don’t send that text
Two dates isn’t enough. Just keep asking for dates but keep them low key and casual and see if she opens up to you, emotionally and physically. On Date 3 a girl should be ready for kissing at least (date 2 actually but no matter, better too slow than too fast). Don’t seek validation, it’s the girl’s job for that just like it’s the girl who asks for the relationship, not the guy, and if she’s shy and inexperienced it may just take a bit longer.
"Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. " Words of wisdoms.
I couldn’t agree more with this video you made. I met this Girl on tinder, she was just my type, she showed me alot of interest. we went on a date and the date went very Well and we even kissed on the first date because the chemistry was on point. After the date i asked her if she would like to go for a second date with me, she didn’t answer me at all and stopped texting me completely. I’m not a simp, and i’m not clingy and i’m not needy at all. She left me as a gigantic question Mark, i was so confused and i most admit that I Got a little sad. All of a sudden she text me and says she’s not ready for a relationship. I respect the fact that she’s not ready for a relationship, but what i don’t get is why would she leave me so confused ? I felt so bad i thought i did something wrong even thou i didn’t. The thing that confused the most was that she showed me a lot og interest, then she wasn’t interested that was what confused me the most.
Huge red flag there. Move one bud, dont ever even think of just turning the page, buy another book.
How soon did you ask for a second date? Don't ask for a second date right at the end of the first date. Wait at least 24 hours.
You’re right and i Can tell you that i have deleted everything related to her because as i Said i’m not a simp or needy or clingy, i have self respect. I have moved on completely. But thanks for the advise buddy, it helped me even more
@Megalo Don
I asked her out on a second date a week after. But she didn’t answer at all for a week and then she texted me that she wasn’t interested.
When you are together you will find that your accomplishments take on the speed of glue. This is an asset because you will never forget the fine details and finishing strokes that make projects masterpieces. Every action you employ is well thought out, organized, filed, cross referenced and above all methodical. The only stick in the ointment for you is any unexpected turn of events that totally disrupts your nervous system and drives you both to another pack of cigarettes or activates your sweet tooth. You can work for hours on projects that people have lost interest in, because that's just the fun kind of couple you are!
Once you have a project finished, I defy anyone to try to make changes in your presentation or your ideas. This is where your stubborn and strong willed nature is stimulated and the symbol of the Bull emerges. Like the homing pigeon who flies home the same way every time, you do everything in your lives the same way, day after day even if you hate the routine while complaining at the same time.
As long as you are left alone at whatever you do, your mannerisms return to a domesticated state, waiting for the next poor soul to challenge your position. You never have to worry about being rushed or pushed around, nor would you allow it, unless there is a monetary incentive, roses, candlelight dinner, jewelry, real estate or love involved. Then the two of you become putty in any ones hands.
You are considered to be a rock, headstrong, opinionated, solid, reliable and dependable. You are sensible and practical in all matters and your appearance is cool, calm and collected, and unemotional most of the time, which masks a great strength which is an asset to you in times of struggle.
Security on the job, finances which balance in your favor and a home which is your piece of the rock hold utmost importance to you both. Should someone suggest a move or change to you, you are likely to put up a struggle that the world will not soon forget. You can be found sitting at the front door of your home, job or marriage (no matter how bad it is) long after everything has been changed, finalized or long forgotten.
Both of you have an enthusiastic approach to all things beautiful, whether love or art forms, and can be quite at home among nature. Your attractiveness has an earthy quality which makes people feel at home with you immediately. This is the spell you weave to get others into your web. Once inside you do not give them up easily, if at all. Look to the house where Venus is located to see where Money can be obtained, or where you share the good life.
On the Midheaven: How you are seen as a couple
Midheaven in Aquarius
Since this is the most "visible" part of the composite chart, it represents how you are actually seen in the world by others. It represents your more outward or public face and where you are likely to encounter success, and your reputation in the world as a couple. Your mutual goals together will exhibit a positive kind of temperament although somewhat uncertain about matters with sudden urges. You will be intuitive with above average intelligence and can organizing almost anything. Intelligence in a cool, calm and collected way that allows no room for feelings. Spiritual matters are much more important than material ones for you both. Very rebellious spirit looking for adventure pretty much describe your lives together.
You are always looking forward to the future and how life will progress. Change, progress and innovative methods in human development keep you strongly attuned to causes or social betterment. You are idealists when it comes to any kind of social unfairness, human rights or uniformity.
There are times in your life when you will forego your own needs in favor of the needs of others. Your beliefs are unchangeable once an opinion is formed and you keep up to date in the latest developments. You will enjoy active participation in groups or community affairs together as well.
You are friendly but keep an impersonal distance from others. Your acquaintances number many, but you can count your real friends usually on one hand. As friends you are detached and impartial. Because of your rational responses to your environment, you keep your emotions close to you and reveal them only to those who warrant it. Your independence keeps you from being overpowered or dominated by others. Marriage, relationships and tending to children are far from being customary and probably lean to what would shock most people.
The tenth house is the home of worldly aspirations and attainment. This sector shows how you present yourself to the public, and deeds for which you leave behind as your legacy, or what you will be remembered for. The tenth has domain over the profession, public offices held, and your reputation. The combined energy of Aquarius here, indicates that whatever you choose to do will be inventive, unique and original together. Working for humanitarian rights and being a team player are of the utmost importance to you. Aquarius here indicates working in politics or before the public in some way. Look to the house where Uranus is located to see what kind of career you might choose, or how you will be remembered.
Sun in 9th house
The Sun in the 9th house will give both of you great insights into the makeup of the world around you. You will have a great interest in religion, law, philosophy, metaphysics and you may decide to travel quite a bit in order to grow. Instead of a relationship you might decide that a platonic affair is enough for you, even if sex is involved. Communication will be very important to you both, since you probably share common goals and interests. The only difficult side to the Sun being in the 9th house is that your relationship is likely to be more intellectual than emotional. You can use the Sun energy in the 9th house to make plans for your future together.
Sun opposition Moon orb 1° 35'
Even though this aspect indicates a strong attraction between you, it also at the same time indicates a rejection of each other as well. There may be a great deal of resistance to the two of you coming together. Yes, there is the excitement you share in being together, but your differences in backgrounds, preferences, dispositions and habits may have you coming from two extremely different worlds. You may find these differences a real turn on at first, but they may not stand up to the test of time. Don't expect live-in arrangements to last for very long, as separations may occur when each of you decides they need more breathing room. But in the same way a magnet attracts, you will find yourself returning to your relationship over and over again. Over a period of time, and once the bond has been formed, it may be next to impossible to escape the grip of one another.
Another of the negative sides to this configuration is the need to constantly compete against one another for superiority, not realizing that if you just put your energies together, you could rise to a new level of accomplishment and understanding. One of the reasons you were drawn to each other is to help you grow through obstacles and to see viewpoints other than your own.
If one of you is more energetic, outgoing and aggressive and the other is more passive, then this can act to build tension in the relationship. One partner may feel the other is not as serious about commitment or in pulling their own weight. Your relationship is basically out of balance. If you are looking for stability, then perhaps you need to look elsewhere. But if you are looking to grow as a couple, then try it, at least for as long as you can stand it.
Your relationship may not be so much an emotional relationship as it is an intellectual one. Yours is perhaps a relationship where you can exchange thoughts and ideas, study, research, spend hours in conversation and enjoy mental stimulation rather than physical. For you, sex takes place mentally rather than physically. Rather than having an emotional rapport, you may be more detached and logical in your relationship.
Your conversations will be excellent and since you have so much in common, you probably think the same ways about life in general. You will have no trouble understanding what the other person is talking about. There are very meaningful discussions indicated here and should you be involved in creative or business ventures together, then this aspect is an added boost for the conception of new ideas.
You can feel very close to each other with this aspect, without feeling vulnerable, and doing your "own thing" will be a prerequisite for the two of you. Trips and travel, whether local or long distance, are also part of this aspect. Sitting still may be difficult for you both.
Sun conjunct Venus orb 2° 1'
This aspect signifies that you just plainly love each other. The attraction is so strong between you that even though you may be incompatible by other standards, you still feel like being with your partner because of that love you feel for them. It's not that they won't occasionally drive you nuts - they will. It's just that the bottom line is that there is real love between you and there is no stronger emotion in the universe.
By being together you can create beauty and form as well as appreciate art and music. Your home can easily be filled with "treasures" that reflect the talents you have. But as always with Venus, be careful of overindulging in the good things of life so they do not become a noose around your neck instead of an object of desire. Remember, the more things you have, the more trouble you art likely to have. You will not mind showing off what you have accrued together, but vanity can become an undesired side effect of this aspect if it is not kept in check.
So I can’t pick up on ques of coy behavior but I got a communication issue- enlightening. Truly
True. That’s why I don’t chase.
Just be aware if you meet someone while they are providing a service for you and they may secretly like you. She could be sending you some of the queues Courtney discussed, only in order to stay professional, she has to hide them.
There was this girl at work and she would always say hi to me several times a day, smile and wave, and make eye contact with me. Then I told her I was 15 years older than her and it turned out she thought I was much younger. She started ignoring me after that. The less you reveal about yourself the better.