Can we just also address how great it is that these are the most soothing videos ever because the people watching them are likely under high amounts of stress for a hundred different reasons but then the nice piano comes on and his calming voice comes through and it makes me feel like we can actually get through this.
Two and a half months since she left, and she finally unloaded on me. I was wondering when it would happen. We were supposed to have a video date, but she called me in tears and let me have it. I couldn't do anything but take it, and reassure her that she was right to feel betrayed and hurt, that I was the one who made her feel like that, and that I was sorry I made her feel like that. I video called her, told her to turn her video off because of wifi dropouts on her end, and just told her all of it was because of me and I was here to listen and not judge. A few days later now, and she was and is impressed. I told her I have to be strong for her because I put her in this place and whenever she needs to lash out, she can. I won't blame shift/block, or respond with anger. It has worked wonders for our growing back together. I think she feels that I am safe now. It's up to me to own my "stuff" unconditionally to help her heal.
After letting her unload with no anger or judgement, she invited me to spend the weekend with her, in the next town over from where she is staying, on her birthday, no less. We just tonight had a nice video date, just hanging out, had some relationship talk, and even some dreams of the future. We even had a profession of love a few days ago. That would have been impossible two months ago. No moves back to romantic love yet, but I am at peace with that; there are spiritual and emotional things that have to happen first. I get the joy of rediscovering her while we work on ourselves. Grace and mercy abound in the same space and time as humility does. It's a feeling I never would have believed I would feel at this point of separation. Kill that ego, unfaithful, and you might be amazed at what is possible.
@@turbo1gts I would do anything for my husband to respond even 1% of the way you did. It would win me over like crazy. Sad thing is, he is so selfish and still in limerence, even though the AP ended things. So instead of feeling safe like your wife, I have to prepare to help my kids through a divorce, none of us want. I wish you guys continued success!
These are the words I say so often. “I know you love me when I act how you want me to. What I’m looking for is love when I’m a total freaking mess trying to deal with multiple affairs and multiple disclosures taking two years!” Thank you for telling him for me too.
Your channel has helped me so much. My husband has learned so much about why he did what he did - and it helps me feel so much less alone. I appreciate others using their painful experiences to help others, the way you are. Thank you, Samuel.
Thanks for this Samuel. Love and appreciate all of you at AR. Thanks especially, for sharing pieces of your story, it makes us feel more normal knowing that y’all went through a lot of the same hurtful moments.
Going through a difficult time. recently about a month ago I discover my husband had an affair with a co-worker (we all work in the same place, so you can imagine this) I know I was not the perfect wife we've gone through a lot of stuff but this literally broke me down. however and as weird as this might sound I know my husband always love me. he was angry and mad and resentful towards me. So i've decided to give him a chance as he promest that that women means absolutely nothing to him. and that he would do anything and everything to fix our marriage all i had to do is just be home and give him a chance. He is doing everything. From washing the dishes to just take on at all my moments and not reacting in a bad way to me. I can really see that he is giving his all. still this betrayal hurts so much. At moments the pain is so hard to bear and i feel hopeless and exhausted like is never going to go away. This videos are the best. Thank you so much!
I see you. Your feelings are completely valid. The trauma caused by the betrayal of infidelity is immense. The tormenting thoughts and images are relentless. It's something we learn to carry. What you've written says that your Husbands words and actions are now aligned, this will help support you in beginning to heal. It's the opposite of easy, but it is possible to heal together.
I am living your life exactly,. It's been 8 weeks since I found out...but he has stopped doing the dishes, and meaningful conversation Just thinks I should be over it..Hope all is better for you. We also worked together.
Wow Samuel Just what I needed to hear. It's been 4 years. It's been 4 years If finally hit me that this is out of my control. At this point I'm leaving it to go.
Do the unfaithful stay and want to work things out to save the marriage because they hot caught and now overwhelmed with guilt. I dont want my wife staying around because she feels obligated to do so out of guilt. She says iys not....but how do you know for sure?
the right helps vet out what she really wants and where her heart is at. if she is just guilty and struggling with guilt, she is likely to not get help and do the recovery work. if she will do recovery work and dedicate herself to the process, then perhaps she really does want to save it. you won't really know till you get in a safe place with expert help like the website affairrecovery.com and other areas like that.
I am confused too. My husband did everything he did for me.to no find out. But I did. I took him back. I love him. But i go through periods of depression. I cant get over it. I thought we were the happiest ever. While I cooked 14th anniversary dinner he talked to her the whole time in the other room. I just cant move forward. Idk. I still love him, but not like I did before. Just as a best friend. Or my sons father. I want it to work, but I am stuck. I go a while and think I am over it but then I begin getting stuck again. Idk what to do anymore besides cry when he isnt around. Which is hardly ever. And he expects so much out of me when I am home alone. To clean. I dont feel like it. I take pride in a clean home. But I just want to lay in fetal position and cry. He never wants to talk about it. When he finally acts like he does.. he wont address my questions. I get different answers. I feel like he is high because I took him back. But I am crumbling. I dont know what to do anymore. When I lash out in anger or sadness he says I am treating him like shit.. when I am just letting it out. I have to bottle it up and I cant vent over anything at all.
![Gunna - HIM ALL ALONG [Official Visualizer]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/HiCxoDeo0hc/mqdefault.jpg)
Can we just also address how great it is that these are the most soothing videos ever because the people watching them are likely under high amounts of stress for a hundred different reasons but then the nice piano comes on and his calming voice comes through and it makes me feel like we can actually get through this.
It's the piano intro for me. Can I get a full length version
Yeah, I feel the same way
Two and a half months since she left, and she finally unloaded on me. I was wondering when it would happen. We were supposed to have a video date, but she called me in tears and let me have it. I couldn't do anything but take it, and reassure her that she was right to feel betrayed and hurt, that I was the one who made her feel like that, and that I was sorry I made her feel like that. I video called her, told her to turn her video off because of wifi dropouts on her end, and just told her all of it was because of me and I was here to listen and not judge. A few days later now, and she was and is impressed. I told her I have to be strong for her because I put her in this place and whenever she needs to lash out, she can. I won't blame shift/block, or respond with anger. It has worked wonders for our growing back together. I think she feels that I am safe now. It's up to me to own my "stuff" unconditionally to help her heal.
After letting her unload with no anger or judgement, she invited me to spend the weekend with her, in the next town over from where she is staying, on her birthday, no less. We just tonight had a nice video date, just hanging out, had some relationship talk, and even some dreams of the future. We even had a profession of love a few days ago. That would have been impossible two months ago.
No moves back to romantic love yet, but I am at peace with that; there are spiritual and emotional things that have to happen first. I get the joy of rediscovering her while we work on ourselves. Grace and mercy abound in the same space and time as humility does. It's a feeling I never would have believed I would feel at this point of separation. Kill that ego, unfaithful, and you might be amazed at what is possible.
@@turbo1gts I would do anything for my husband to respond even 1% of the way you did. It would win me over like crazy. Sad thing is, he is so selfish and still in limerence, even though the AP ended things. So instead of feeling safe like your wife, I have to prepare to help my kids through a divorce, none of us want. I wish you guys continued success!
How are things going a year later?
These are the words I say so often. “I know you love me when I act how you want me to. What I’m looking for is love when I’m a total freaking mess trying to deal with multiple affairs and multiple disclosures taking two years!” Thank you for telling him for me too.
Your channel has helped me so much. My husband has learned so much about why he did what he did - and it helps me feel so much less alone. I appreciate others using their painful experiences to help others, the way you are. Thank you, Samuel.
Thanks for this Samuel. Love and appreciate all of you at AR. Thanks especially, for sharing pieces of your story, it makes us feel more normal knowing that y’all went through a lot of the same hurtful moments.
I not sure how to take my share of fault as the betrayed but not to the point of self pity
Going through a difficult time. recently about a month ago I discover my husband had an affair with a co-worker (we all work in the same place, so you can imagine this) I know I was not the perfect wife we've gone through a lot of stuff but this literally broke me down. however and as weird as this might sound I know my husband always love me. he was angry and mad and resentful towards me. So i've decided to give him a chance as he promest that that women means absolutely nothing to him. and that he would do anything and everything to fix our marriage all i had to do is just be home and give him a chance. He is doing everything. From washing the dishes to just take on at all my moments and not reacting in a bad way to me. I can really see that he is giving his all. still this betrayal hurts so much. At moments the pain is so hard to bear and i feel hopeless and exhausted like is never going to go away. This videos are the best. Thank you so much!
I see you. Your feelings are completely valid. The trauma caused by the betrayal of infidelity is immense. The tormenting thoughts and images are relentless. It's something we learn to carry. What you've written says that your Husbands words and actions are now aligned, this will help support you in beginning to heal. It's the opposite of easy, but it is possible to heal together.
I am living your life exactly,. It's been 8 weeks since I found out...but he has stopped doing the dishes, and meaningful conversation Just thinks I should be over it..Hope all is better for you. We also worked together.
Wow
Samuel Just what I needed to hear.
It's been 4 years. It's been 4 years If finally hit me that this is out of my control.
At this point I'm leaving it to go.
What if we live apart?
Does this apply when you are separated And no communication?
Do the unfaithful stay and want to work things out to save the marriage because they hot caught and now overwhelmed with guilt. I dont want my wife staying around because she feels obligated to do so out of guilt. She says iys not....but how do you know for sure?
the right helps vet out what she really wants and where her heart is at. if she is just guilty and struggling with guilt, she is likely to not get help and do the recovery work. if she will do recovery work and dedicate herself to the process, then perhaps she really does want to save it. you won't really know till you get in a safe place with expert help like the website affairrecovery.com and other areas like that.
I am confused too. My husband did everything he did for me.to no find out. But I did. I took him back. I love him. But i go through periods of depression. I cant get over it. I thought we were the happiest ever. While I cooked 14th anniversary dinner he talked to her the whole time in the other room. I just cant move forward. Idk. I still love him, but not like I did before. Just as a best friend. Or my sons father. I want it to work, but I am stuck. I go a while and think I am over it but then I begin getting stuck again. Idk what to do anymore besides cry when he isnt around. Which is hardly ever. And he expects so much out of me when I am home alone. To clean. I dont feel like it. I take pride in a clean home. But I just want to lay in fetal position and cry. He never wants to talk about it. When he finally acts like he does.. he wont address my questions. I get different answers. I feel like he is high because I took him back. But I am crumbling. I dont know what to do anymore. When I lash out in anger or sadness he says I am treating him like shit.. when I am just letting it out. I have to bottle it up and I cant vent over anything at all.
Forgive the type errors
God
❤️