WOW!!! 3 in a row... these videos are just so needed right now... I am doing many things wrongs... yet I am doing things right as well... So glad that I found you guys!!! thank you!!!
Wow that was what I needed to hear. I just got out of treatment last weekend and came home to my wife saying we are not a couple any more. And she tells me she told me while i was in treatment but I don't remember. I didn't expect the red carpet by any means but i sure didn't expect her to tell me that. It was a hard pill to swallow and accepting the fact that my best friend and wife hates my guts and is severely damaged by my actions was hard to hear. I know made that bed and lying in it is pretty hard but I can only hope that the person I am now, who she does not know, can only show her that this is the person she married and loved before. The other person was a shell of a human and did not have a love in his body for himself. I can only show her what I've learned and show her I can apply it. Ya I'm gonna make some mistakes along the way and sometimes it feels like that's all she sees or is waiting for but I don't argue I just agree and not raise my voice like i did. The first two days back where difficult and my old self came to the front and that was the last thing I needed to do. But i got as humble as possible and kept reminding myself you did this so you have to take it on the chin and suck it up. It's like you said she was in the worst accident in her life and hasn't even begin to get the physical therapy she needs to start to heal. My real fear is she isn't interested in therapy for herself let alone for us. So that's a hard one to understand. Thanks so much for your video blogs I've watched almost all of them and I can only hope.and pray I didn't do too much damage that's beyond repair.
thanks for sharing darrell. it's tough to come home to our consequences. it hurts like hell to see what we've done to ourselves, but then to come face to face with what we've done to our spouse, even more drives the knife into us of how our choices have affected our spouse. it takes a brave man to stare his consequences in the face, and continue to keep going, keep doing treatment, humble ourselves and walk it out. i know it's lonely and it's overwhelming, but it's what we have to do to get healthy and walk out our journey. i'm proud of you friend. i'm proud you're not getting defensive and justifying and blaming. it's tough not to. i'm proud of you that you're doing all you can to press forward. you just don't know what life will look like in a few days, weeks or months. but you can give it all you have to give and see what happens. so glad you're here and on the vlog and watching. thanks for watching and posting bud. take care. one day at a time.
all of this accountability stuff doesnt work. I still get accused. I get accused even when im actually at counseling sessions. theres still so much anger and resentment. it's easier if she starts over with a new better person than to go through this.
sorry you're in so much pain and frustrated stevie. however, accountability does work when both parties are willing. based upon one of your other comments, it doesn't seem that your partner is willing to do any work or get any prof help though....right?
I’m an unfaithful female and I have to slightly agree. When does it get to the point that the unfaithful is doing to much and might be losing self respect for themselves? It’s hard to gauge.
If you get accused at sessions then just take it man. You need to be a safe place for her. She didnt ask to be betrayed. You should be 100 percent focused on her healing. Pray for a thick skin and a tender heart. God bless
@@St.Irenaeusexactly. These unfaithfuls just except things come back to normal. I mean if you don’t want to deal with any consequences don’t them in the first place.
You are talking in terms of months of 2 years. what if it has been going on for 8 years with few months here and there where there was no cheating of any kind including porn, fliriting, online dating etc etc. he still has women on his fb page that are not in his business don't appear to look like they could afford to buy a house from him and dressed like a hooker. old flames from the past etc etc and he is still on online dating apps. maybe not have been on there actively but he still has the accounts I even tried to delete them his excuse is that he doesn't know how. but he was able to get a woman off backpage in 2016.
Haha…. “I had an aneurism”. Love the content of your videos..… theyve helped me and my unfaithful spouse so much. Also, what a lucky man to have such a strong wife. (This statement is for you AND my husband) 😊
So I don't hear a lot of info on my sort of situation . Long story short, my husband had an affair for 2 years with my friend . I tried to heal on my own due to having 6 kids and not having time for counseling . I ended up in my own affair , but confessed a month later. Now I'm not sure how both of us can heal. I'm now the bad guy , yet I still feel hurt and don't trust him . I know I made a bad decision , however I would have never did what I did if he hadn't broken me to pieces .
hi christina. very sorry for the delay but was out of town. fact is, it's very complicated but not impossible. will he get help with you? i would highly suggest the ems weekend for what you're facing: www.affairrecovery.com/product/ems-weekend you really need expert help to address both sides of the betrayal as well as help you both understand why and how this happened on both sides. is that something that's possible for you all? it's life changing believe me. if not, we can discuss other options.
im just so upset and haven't been able to heal since 2014 then 2016 2017 and 2018. I ended up cheating on him in feb 2017 he knows. it was a drunk one night stand. I regret so much to this day and I don't know if I can ever forgive myself what I did to him out of anger and and my own deep insecurities and the trauma I caused him and the upset. yeah idk.
I've been hearing this for 10 years.
Love this one ! Samuel your actually pretty funny at times, and your message is spot on. Thank you !
hahahahahhaha 'at times'......thanks so much for your kind words and encouragement. so glad you're here and a part of the community.
Love the honesty within this community. Thank you!
This hit me like a ton of bricks! Thank you for sharing
so glad.
WOW!!! 3 in a row... these videos are just so needed right now... I am doing many things wrongs... yet I am doing things right as well... So glad that I found you guys!!! thank you!!!
I know I just keep saying "thank you" under every video of yours but what else can I say??? THANK YOU!
Thank you for this.
Wow that was what I needed to hear. I just got out of treatment last weekend and came home to my wife saying we are not a couple any more. And she tells me she told me while i was in treatment but I don't remember. I didn't expect the red carpet by any means but i sure didn't expect her to tell me that. It was a hard pill to swallow and accepting the fact that my best friend and wife hates my guts and is severely damaged by my actions was hard to hear. I know made that bed and lying in it is pretty hard but I can only hope that the person I am now, who she does not know, can only show her that this is the person she married and loved before. The other person was a shell of a human and did not have a love in his body for himself. I can only show her what I've learned and show her I can apply it. Ya I'm gonna make some mistakes along the way and sometimes it feels like that's all she sees or is waiting for but I don't argue I just agree and not raise my voice like i did. The first two days back where difficult and my old self came to the front and that was the last thing I needed to do. But i got as humble as possible and kept reminding myself you did this so you have to take it on the chin and suck it up. It's like you said she was in the worst accident in her life and hasn't even begin to get the physical therapy she needs to start to heal. My real fear is she isn't interested in therapy for herself let alone for us. So that's a hard one to understand. Thanks so much for your video blogs I've watched almost all of them and I can only hope.and pray I didn't do too much damage that's beyond repair.
thanks for sharing darrell. it's tough to come home to our consequences. it hurts like hell to see what we've done to ourselves, but then to come face to face with what we've done to our spouse, even more drives the knife into us of how our choices have affected our spouse. it takes a brave man to stare his consequences in the face, and continue to keep going, keep doing treatment, humble ourselves and walk it out. i know it's lonely and it's overwhelming, but it's what we have to do to get healthy and walk out our journey. i'm proud of you friend. i'm proud you're not getting defensive and justifying and blaming. it's tough not to. i'm proud of you that you're doing all you can to press forward. you just don't know what life will look like in a few days, weeks or months. but you can give it all you have to give and see what happens. so glad you're here and on the vlog and watching. thanks for watching and posting bud. take care. one day at a time.
I’m afraid my husband did do too much damage beyond repair. One year into reconciliation and I just being around him produces anxiety and fear.
that's highly normal. what recovery work have you done and what help are you receiving? that's not uncommon at all my friend.
How can we find a mentor
all of this accountability stuff doesnt work. I still get accused. I get accused even when im actually at counseling sessions. theres still so much anger and resentment. it's easier if she starts over with a new better person than to go through this.
sorry you're in so much pain and frustrated stevie. however, accountability does work when both parties are willing. based upon one of your other comments, it doesn't seem that your partner is willing to do any work or get any prof help though....right?
I understand how you feel
I’m an unfaithful female and I have to slightly agree. When does it get to the point that the unfaithful is doing to much and might be losing self respect for themselves? It’s hard to gauge.
If you get accused at sessions then just take it man. You need to be a safe place for her. She didnt ask to be betrayed. You should be 100 percent focused on her healing. Pray for a thick skin and a tender heart. God bless
@@St.Irenaeusexactly. These unfaithfuls just except things come back to normal. I mean if you don’t want to deal with any consequences don’t them in the first place.
Awesome!!!
Oh my God haha that was funny when you said "listen here cowgirl I have hanged! You need to wake up now!" Sounds like Brian haha.
You are talking in terms of months of 2 years. what if it has been going on for 8 years with few months here and there where there was no cheating of any kind including porn, fliriting, online dating etc etc. he still has women on his fb page that are not in his business don't appear to look like they could afford to buy a house from him and dressed like a hooker. old flames from the past etc etc and he is still on online dating apps. maybe not have been on there actively but he still has the accounts I even tried to delete them his excuse is that he doesn't know how. but he was able to get a woman off backpage in 2016.
Thank you Samuel.
pleausure m.
Ohhh yessss!
Haha…. “I had an aneurism”. Love the content of your videos..… theyve helped me and my unfaithful spouse so much. Also, what a lucky man to have such a strong wife. (This statement is for you AND my husband) 😊
So I don't hear a lot of info on my sort of situation . Long story short, my husband had an affair for 2 years with my friend . I tried to heal on my own due to having 6 kids and not having time for counseling . I ended up in my own affair , but confessed a month later. Now I'm not sure how both of us can heal. I'm now the bad guy , yet I still feel hurt and don't trust him . I know I made a bad decision , however I would have never did what I did if he hadn't broken me to pieces .
hi christina. very sorry for the delay but was out of town. fact is, it's very complicated but not impossible. will he get help with you? i would highly suggest the ems weekend for what you're facing: www.affairrecovery.com/product/ems-weekend you really need expert help to address both sides of the betrayal as well as help you both understand why and how this happened on both sides. is that something that's possible for you all? it's life changing believe me. if not, we can discuss other options.
im just so upset and haven't been able to heal since 2014 then 2016 2017 and 2018. I ended up cheating on him in feb 2017 he knows. it was a drunk one night stand. I regret so much to this day and I don't know if I can ever forgive myself what I did to him out of anger and and my own deep insecurities and the trauma I caused him and the upset. yeah idk.
StankyJuju 11:11 I would really recommend you going to an S-ANON meeting. Google if there are any in your area.
@@evelynvalencia9505
What is S-ANON?