Hello! Thanks for watching this very random video. If you're a RENTER, you might like my big video about RENTING ADVICE in your twenties: ruclips.net/video/xttMhm8CK_U/видео.html And if you were hoping for buying advice, here are two I found very helpful (UK based): ULTIMATE STEPS TO BUYING A HOUSE - EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW! (Patricia Bright) ruclips.net/video/sMLN0NVxJ5Q/видео.html How I Bought A Flat in London (Hannah Witton) ruclips.net/video/ggz1OQeU-xU/видео.html
This video was not random at all, as I say below you are a modern philosopher, but your philosophy integrates the human and emotions with ideas and IDEALS which you acknowledge that we can never fully reach but we should strive for anyway. You are a philosopher of the everyday, and it’s connections to forever. As such the everyday moments, the banality of buying a house if you will is actually a natural canvas for your philosophy to explore Edit to say: explore whatever you like, did Plato “follow” Socrates just for his ideas or also for the person and the inspiration and community of thought? Both obviously, to divide them in your case would be absurd, you do not merely explore other philosophies or profess specific ideologies, you raise powerful questions and attempt to bring your own mind to bear on the answers. You create philosophy, video is merely the medium by which you communicate this to the world
But Leena, buying a house, agonizing over your privilege to own a house, that's authentically you. Moving in and keeping the interior basically as it is because that is the economically and ecologically smart thing to do, all of that DOES reflect you as a person. Congratulations, you made every room in your house your personal brand by changing exactly none of the interior that wasn't broken and needed changing. Not showing us the house because there is nothing you can spin into a teachable moment to our benefit, that's equally part of your personal brand. I'm completely on board with that. As much as I secretly like house tours and home remodeling videos, I don't expect them from every youtuber I like.
I think I need a video essay on the interior design industrial complex so that I can be yelled at into not being upset when my bedside table doesn't look like a beautiful Instagram bedside table
this is the most leena way to announce buying a house. humble and introspective. which contributed to not feeling that 'envy' you talk about :) i think you used to be a lot of a relationship based creator but lately I feel like there is way more concept-videos mixed in so yeah a middle of both seems fair! sidenote during the last segment in the gray backdrop, that had amazing lighting! it was so comforting to hear your home doesnt need to completely reflect you and be a statement of interior design taste. also... now that there's a house and a garden... any desire for pets?? :P
Submitting my thesis and completing my viva and buying my first home all had the same vibe. SO PROUD but such an anticlimax and weird to process. I felt bad for not feeling amazing about it.
My two cents is that you are a modern philosopher, but your philosophy integrates the human and emotions with ideas and IDEALS which you acknowledge that we can never fully reach but we should strive for anyway. You are a philosopher of the everyday, and it’s connections to forever.
I relate so much re Midlands. I left the Midlands when I was 18, really built a life for myself in Brighton with lots of friends, and then due to financial circumstances (essentially reallyyy needing to not work for a while and just recover from some stuff I'd been through) I moved back in with my parents. I now have a really cool job here, I'm starting to make friends here and yesterday I got the keys to my own flat literally 5 mins from my childhood home. This is the first time I've been able to afford to live alone, which I'm really excited about and think will be a really positive experience for me. I've always felt like my hometown is a big part of who I am and I'm loving getting to know this place as an adult, but it's still just so weird to me that I'm now sort of settling down here? My 18 year old self right now is like wtf, why did we do all of that to just move back. All this to say yes please re Midlands video essay!!!
This is such perfect timing for me. My partner & I just got our first house, but that was only made possible because his father passed away and left him a bit of money. I've had some pretty precarious living situations and there's no intergenerational wealth on my side, so I've found myself feeling a lot of feelings that I didn't expect around being a home owner! Thanks for this
I find the current trend of remodeling a kitchen to increase the value of a house maddening. It is so frustrating that people are putting so much money and effort into turning every kitchen into a style that I do not like.
It starts with wall colour. People are told not to paint a wall the desired colour bc it decreases the resale value... In which world do you A) sell on a house so fast B) can't paint over a wall (Yes, painting over a wall needs resources like money, time, ecological questionable paint and equipment etc, but that's another topic...)
Maybe one way to “create house related content“ that would still feel Leena-like could be something about books about organic gardening and stuff like that? I feel like this is one aspect where we (and especially every garden owner) can have a very direct and satisfyingly visible impact on biodiversity
Recently bought a house too and we're trying to rewild the garden would be great to see book recommendations for things that are not garden encyclopedias or pop garden design that's difficult to replicate
Submitting my dissertation online, graduating in 2020 was the most benign event that I thought would be amazing. No graduation gowns, no pictures in front of the faculty with my dissertation, no final grad party, no nothing. I still feel I didn't graduate. I finished and didn't have a job, lost my support network etc Makes those student finance letters sting more because it felt like a big waste of time because I didn't have that closure of "wool graduation!"
Gosh, I feel the exact same way. Graduated in June of 2020, and I felt both so overwhelmed, underwhelmed, and set behind. There's so much that we think will be structured. Maybe we'll network while finishing our degree and set up a job to walk right into. And we'll use our time with our friends well and set up a plan to keep in touch. Instead everything just faded away into uncertainty, it was so melancholy. I'm finally starting my first full-time job after graduation on Monday, and hoping that the past 2 years were just an intermission.
@@Cherri_Stars Still looking for that full time job, I've delegated myself to becoming a (I enjoy teaching) but I had other plans that I've given up on because I can't afford to bleed money hoping I will get an interview or waiting for s position to open up. Good luck on your next steps!!
I’m in the process of buying a house with my partner and everyone who had already bought houses were telling us ‘make sure you can add extensions etc’ and my partner made an excellent point about this and said but surely it’s more economical to buy a house that’s the right size for you and if you want a lot more space move if you need it/can otherwise all houses just become these large unattainable ones which is not good for the environment. Also hate that some people assume your going to want kids so are telling you to make sure it’s got enough room for that or it’s child friendly enough. Seeing as we’re not planning to have kids it’s ridiculous. But buying a house does seem to make people think they can start making assumptions about you
Yeah, I've always felt a bit wierd when people talk about the giant houses they want, because I don't really get it. The people I am thinking of are usually single or a couple, who don't necessarily plan on having children... I have learned to be happy with my small space, to a point where anything that's more than a little bigger than what I've got just seems like a lot to clean! 🙃
Your eco perspective on house rennovation resonates with me so much! There's certain interior design styles i prefer to others, sure, but when I evetually buy a house I dont wanna rip everything out of it and start fresh to the detriment of the planet just to change the style to something marginally more pleasent to the eyes!! I'll work with what I've got an add my own touches that dont require a shit tonne of unecessary resources. (That being said, i am still an absolute sucker for house renovation content and will contine to watch it even though i dont agree with all of it hahaha)
I find the large group of influencers moving "to the country" in order to buy a house because of covid kind of a complicated thing to think about. I think what bothers me about those people's ways of approaching the situation is it feels like they are taking credit for this unique idea that is really just something they are able to do because of a rather lot of privilege that they never acknowledge. Some of us could never afford to live in the city and are struggling to afford tiny apartments out here already. This video, because of Leena's usual thoughtfulness, does NOT give me the same feelings of envy and frustration. I'm really happy for you Leena, truly. I'm also happy to hear that we're not going to get tons of house content in the future haha ❤ I love what you do and am looking forward to more fascinating thoughts and discussions.
I’m a nurse and I say thank god there were positives to the past 2 years. I’m v glad you were given the opportunity to buy a house. I think it’s BS when people reliably pay rent for years but have the door shut in their face when they want to buy.
Congratulations Leena&Craig! I like how you were like we own this, the bank own this on the brick because that's truly the reality of home ownership for the majority. With a 10/15% deposit, the house really belongs to the bank not us but we've still got to celebrate being indebted to the bank for the next 25-35 years. yaaaay! 😆
Congrats on getting a home Leena. It's a tough time to buy a house and it's tough to share the news like you discussed but don't feel like you have to keep a low profile about it just because a lot of people don't have them. You are so honest about your journey, so genuinely aware about your privilege in life, your subscribers are I'm sure immensely happy for you ❤️
I love that you mention the "shadow life," as a response to trauma. When my dad almost died when I was little, I felt for years like I was living a shadow life, that he had actually died and I was watching another person living the life I could have had, and that it could all vanish in an instant because it was too good to be true. When I see people talking about getting back to "normal" now, acting like we should all be fine because the death rates are down i just shake my head. It took decades for me to come to terms with my trauma and learn to accept the good in my life. I just hope that everyone reading this is being patient and kind to themselves and each other ❤
As someone who studied in the UK I found it so odd how the layout of so many houses were identical and when people would refer to it being hard having the washing machine anywhere but the kitchen because then they'd have to go upstairs. As a European I just thought... Upstairs? Surely houses are not "universal". Turns out a lot of them are very similar. 😅
"It's hard to get excited about things because I've been repressing hope for so long..." this is so accurate! Congratulations on the house Leena & Craig! I know one moment will come out of the blue, likely very subtly, where it will hit you and you will be overcome with the feels of how damn cool it is. I'm excited for you both! 💖
I can so relate to that feeling of “the pandemic was horrid but I personally benefitted from it”. My partner and I have both been offered permanent home working because of the pandemic, meaning we no longer have a 2 hour each way commute and save on parking ect. That alone has had a huge effect on our lives
I would say you’re an idea based creator but you’re so likeable and what feels like open (even though openness is a grey area in this type of dynamic) that people are invested in you as a person
Uuuuh, I loved the point about manufacturing taste, where you don't have any. I really like not caring about some things and not having to have a taste in some areas. I am gonna have a better point with that spelled out in my next discussion.
I did recently buy my own house, but I rented throughout my twenties. That entire period was peppered with experiences that were "interesting", to say the least (including one time when a workman walked in on me in my bra, as he'd been authorised to enter my flat to do some work without me being told about it first! Fun!). But one moment definitely stands out as the moment where I just fully felt "fuck this noise" with all of my existence. I was renting a house with my partner - it was our first place together. It had its issues, but overall it was a reasonable house. The rent was kind of high for the area though. We were having issues with the floor in the kitchen - the lino was bubbling and coming up, and it looked like the cause was some sort of damp rising from the foundations of the house. My partner and I decided to be proactive and flag it asap (mostly so we didn't end up getting blamed for not doing so). We contacted the rental agent, who contacted the landlord. The landlord said he was concerned and wanted to see it himself. We agreed that this was a good idea, and made an appointment for him to come round. So far, so normal. Come the evening of the appointment, the landlord turns up, along with his wife... who was drunk. The two of them were laughing and were clearly not taking things very seriously. They told us that they'd just gone to dinner at a restaurant around the corner from the house, "as we were in the area, we thought why not!". Why not indeed. My partner and I had actually never been to that restaurant as it was pretty expensive. We showed them the kitchen floor and tried to explain what we thought was the cause. The drunk lady seemed bored. Landlord took a few photos of the floor on his phone and then they left. A couple of days later we had a phonecall from the rental agent saying that the landlord believed the cause of the damage was that our washing machine (brand new; had never and to this day has never given us a single problem) had leaked and ruined the floor. I was speechless. The fucking audacity of it. And obviously the implication was that he thought we should pay for the damage. We didn't pay anything for that in the end, but only because we paid for a contractor to come out and basically give his professional opinion of the situation. But the whole experience just left me with such a bitter taste in my mouth. My partner and I both have pretty stressful jobs with long hours expected of us. It was hard not to feel like we were working our arses off just to hand money to this unscrupulous bloke so that he could go out for nice dinners and get hammered with his wife. Perhaps I'm seeing the situation too harshly, but it felt very clear to me in that moment: "We are the people who work; you are the people who sponge off our work." Anyway, if anyone asks me what radicalised me, the answer is "renting in the south east of England" 🤣
My wife and I had no interest in home ownership--or, more specifically, the stability it represents--until it kind of fell into our laps over the pandemic. We had the opportunity to not actually own our own house, but informally rent from her parents a house that will become ours eventually. Basically we pay the mortgage and we live here indefinitely but it's her parents' names on the deed, and they were the ones to provide the capital. None of us could afford it without the help of the others--they couldn't afford to pay the mortgage but could come up with the down payment, and we couldn't come up with the down payment but could pay the mortgage. But even this is a huge privilege! Now, granted, it's a huge fixer-upper. It was built by my wife's great-great grandfather (that's why her parents wanted to buy it) in the 1890s, and the last two owners have badly neglected it. But it's a house, and it's ours to do with what we like. And that's more than I ever thought I'd have.
I just bought the 2 bed house with the stairs on the right too!! 😂 I almost didn’t because I just needed the House People to stop emailing/phoning me, totally had to be like ‘this will stop soon and forever if I just push through this next bit!’ Also struggling with feeling like I’m allowed to just enjoy it (I’m 33 this is my first house). Oh and Facebook marketplace for sofa etc!
That lesson about not needing interior design taste and a perfect representation of oneself in a house was one I recently learned. As someone interested in interior design, moving into a student dorm where all big furniture is totally unchangeable and charmingly youth hostel like, I had a really hard time reigning myself in in the beginning. I was so set on transforming my small 15m2 and after getting a used carpet and changing the curtains to my own ones, I really needed to learn the lesson that I don't have to embellish a room that I'm kicked out of as soon as I'm done with uni and that is really not how I would ever lay out my own furniture, so any customized decor would be absolutely useless afterwards. Moving here during covid, when I thought I would be mostly at uni, I was so desperate to live in this perfect self-reflection because it was where I spent all my time in a new city, but it helped to just think about where else I could put that creativity and self-expression. Also it makes the daydreams about what I would do to a potential future house even more sweet because I don't have to shoot my load everytime I move temporarily.
I felt exactly the same when I moved into my uni dorms! Dealing with furniture that isn't my style and is fixed to the walls, as well as not having the income to just buy whatever decorations I like anymore has completely changed my perspective on interior decorating. I've had to really look at the things I have owned for years and consciously admire them because it's so easy for them to just fade into the background once they've been around for so long.
I bought my first house 10 years ago and don't plan on moving! I don't understand the whole "starter house" mentality. Moving is so stressful and expensive, I don't want to go through that again so I understand where you're coming from with the labor pains metaphor. :) Love from USA!
Oh pro tip on making curtains, whatever fabric you go for, put small weights in the bottom. I make my curtains like 3 inches too long and then flip that extra bit up at the back so its a pocket for weights, which are actually just big metal nuts (as in nuts and bolts) that I got for cheap from Homebase. You can even add buttons depending on how wide your curtains are, to stop the pockets gaping and looking weird. I add the weights to hold the curtains down, they look nicer I guess but its mainly for heat retention, wispy billowy curtains means DRAFT! and I live in a "stairs on the left" property so I know you have drafts...
I'd def say you are relationship based creator. I an interested in your ideas because I feel I have some idea of your values already, whereas if I saw the same titles from other creators I wouldn't immediately think I should watch it because I wouldnt yet value their opinion.
Congratulations on the house Leena! As always, I love your honesty and openness. Your videos always feel like I'm hanging out with the big sister I never had :)
This is the best house buying video ever. I've come out a little envious that you don't have to deal with real estate again, but also really pleased for both of you to have somewhere to land. I earn a very good wage, but lol. House prices here in Australia are beyond insane everywhere. So... congratulations!
That was very interesting! I definitely relate to the lack of excitement about 'objectively' exciting things. I haven't heard a conversation like this before about buying a house, so that was NEAT. (Tbh I'd love to see more house content, but also any other kind of content, I'll watch anyffin on this channel). Anyway congrats on the house!
while I haven't gotten a house, I find I often dread those things because they're so much work to get there for relatively little payoff in certain ways. 😅 But there's a ton to be said for housing security!
Plumbella said the same thing about houses in Britain 😅 after they built their house in the sims. I’m moving again in 2 days! Still renting and I still hate it but also grateful to have a roof, four walls, and a door.
I also bought a house during the pandemic. We signed the initial paperwork the day before national lockdown in 2020 and got the keys eventually when the restrictions eased in August. I had intentions of capturing my experience painting the house and getting into DIY. However the experience left me feeling weirdly flat. I found I was more excited in the run up to getting the keys and found the experience moving in both overwhelming and underwhelming, even though I was excited and thankful for being in the extremely fortunate position to own a home. Covid has changed so much and taken away experiences from all of us. My family were not able to help me move due to Covid, and i've since found it hard to appreciate upcoming experiences until they are right in front of me from fear they'll be taken away! I completely agree with what you share in this video. Congratulations on the perminant residence and enjoy the process of making the space work for you.
As arbitrary as it is, I am so happy for you, Leena! Rather than envy I am feeling second-hand relief and excitement for you. Try to enjoy it once the existential crisis has subsided!
Hey Leena, I’m on my way slowly through renovating my second part owned home. Delayed by having two kids somewhat. I’ve had to do it on a very low budget and have learnt skills along the way. I was resistant at first but actually find it so satisfying, finishing a job, esp tiling. One pitfall I would say to avoid as I share your view on reusing things and saving on waste, watch some advice on how to do specific jobs, make sure you’re using the right materials, tools and products. Shop well, shop once with house stuff! Best of luck and wishes in your new home 🐸💋
I lost track of everything you were saying because I was too busy wondering on the construction of your sweater, so I can make a dupe. 😬 Congrats for falling in to the “good bet” category ☺️
You should try filling your garden with native plants! It could be a fun way to explore renovation while helping local flora and fauna. Plus it means you don't have to do a lot of garden maintenance
Mazel tov and congratulations on buying your house! I can't believe it took well over 6 months to close on it, but HEY YOU DID IT! You don't need to justify your happiness and excitement and how it's played out because of the pandemic. Yes, we were/are/have been all in the same storm but not the same boat. You have been blessed/lucky/fortunate in this particular aspect and stating that you are so grateful and acknowledging that privilege and stating that is what's going on in your life is completely okay. You're allowed to celebrate your milestones even though there are negative things in the world for others regarding that same milestone you've achieved. You can still advocate for accessible and affordable housing, as an example, while still celebrating buying your new home. These aren't mutually exclusive. Congrats hun 💖
Owning a home is all kinds of feelings. Slowly making it your own is part of the journey. There’s so much of my home decorated with second hand furniture that I love and that’s what I’ve built my style around - slowly making a space that I feel comfortable and joyful in.
I just bought a house, also had the offer accepted back in October and I totally relate to this. It all seemed like it would never happen until the very last week and then it all happened in one big overwhelming (and at the same time underwhelming) flash. It definitely felt like there should have been a big to do about getting the keys but nope, just handed to us on a promotional key ring (as if I’m ever going to want to go through any estate agent about anything ever again?). With regards to the luck at someone else’s expense thing as well - the main reason we had a deposit (or at least one large enough to afford this particular house) was because my partner’s parent died a couple of years ago. So it’s a weird feeling. Mostly very positive as I love my house and especially love having a garden (something I never expected!) but yeah bittersweet.
@@jazzypari Thanks, and same to you! :) The previous owner clearly put a lot of time and effort into the garden and I want to make sure it still feels loved!
Wowza... this was highly relatable. The process of buying a home has been a rollercoaster for Leah and I. We're probably more "relationship" creators and therefore our actions and choices have an impact of the friends who follow us online. We're SUPER MEGA privileged and we feel bad for that sometimes... Thanks for articulating stuff that is in my brain Leena. You great.
Thank you! This is the video I NEEDED! This is a decision I made as well recently, and it also just felt so underwhelming once the process was actually completed, but was SO GLAD once the process was actually over that the relief was celebration enough at the time.
I have fallen in love with a family home but it’s a major fixer upper: there isn’t even central heating. Nothing has been updated in 40 years. Unfortunately this family home that was evaluated at 285.000 4 years ago, is now 475.000 and it’s just waiting for the overbidders. It feels like having a place to live that fits a small family is going to be really really hard for many many years to come. Yes I am jealous every time someone shares that they have bought a house. I cannot even rent a house, I’m in my one-bedroom social housing, and I know that’s already more than so many people my age have. I’m almost done studying (for the third time😂) so in a year or so I’ll be living in a place that should go to someone that has lower wages, unless I find some luck, there won’t be anywhere to go. And I already feel bad about having this plave, and feeling jealous with people who have bought a house. (Too long of a word vomit)
thanks for putting into words what i feel about interior design! some people are so disappointed when you don't want to change everything about your house... ;)
This is incredibly relatable for me right now as my spouse and I are in the process of closing on a house as well! As to whether you’re a relationship- or idea-based creator, I’d say you slide towards relationships with a side of ideas. I definitely come because you’re you but also because what you have to comment on is a topic that I’m interested in hearing about. Congrats on the new home!!
Congratulations and thank you for making this video! My partner and I are trying to buy a house in The Netherlands, I am just now realizing that I have totally internalised this idea that your house should reflect 'you'. It's good to check myself - I am not my job, I am not where I live or how I live. I simply am. Everthing else is secondary!
I would 100% watch that interior design complex video. Nothing irritates me more than the pressure to move into your house and immediately renovate everything to your own highly developed personal aesthetic. From a practical perspective, you're not going to know things like how weather and sunlight affect your house until you've been there at minimum a full year (and ideally more) and that massively impacts renovation and design choices-nothing resets your priorities like living through a few winters in your house. Personally, I also think you should make design decisions slowly and minimally, with the idea that if you paint your walls or buy furniture that you will then live with those choices until they are worn to death-so much less wasteful! We've lived in our house for six years now, and we were also lucky in that it hasn't needed much work until now. We're taking this opportunity to do things like pick curtains we like (this place came with them) and paint the outside a colour we prefer, and we will then keep those things until they're worn through.
Quote of the year, "resentment masquerading as morality" God do I probably do that 😂 Loved this video! I own a house but only because I'm incredibly lucky. And I really struggle not to decorate it in a style because of interior design pressures and keeping up with the joneses mentality Enjoy your lovely new home leena!
Thank you for normalizing not having preferences about how some random interior detail look! I struggle so much with the fact that I am not into decorating, remodeling etc and just want to leave the things as they are if they are functional.
Leena just enjoy this. This is the place where you will be most of your time if not all of it. Decorate it the way you want, hang stuff or not, but let yourself enjoy this. little things like plates and lamps can make you feel more at home. You deserve this don't overthink this much. You are over policing yourself.
As a person who has been living in the same house for many years, there will come a time when you want to re-paint a room. Over time, paint gets grubby and chipped. It does need re-doing sometimes. Wait until a particular room starts looking like you actually want to re-paint it. Then re-paint that one. Having to move all the furniture so you can re-paint a room is a lot of hassle, don't put yourself through that unnecessarily, and don't do all the rooms at once unless you have to.
As someone who also recently bought a house, I can relate so much to the things you are talking about...like that inability to feel super excited after getting the keys because the process of getting the house has been so long and complicated and our hopes were so low at the end... Also the house itself isn't in a very good state... So it will require quite a bit of work and resources, and now I feel really torn apart between trying to renovate it in the most sustainable way possible (making it more energy efficient, getting more DIY and second-hand stuff instead if buying new, making sure basic stuff is high quality and is made out if renewable materials, etc.) and trying to stay within a rather limited budget... The fact that it has to be made livable ASAP because moving back in with parents isn't very good for family relationships makes it even harder😅
I also bought an apartment during covid... it was one of the most scary and difficult things I have ever done in my life. I chose to buy in an area of Madrid that I love, so I have made a lot of sacrifices, like having the apartment super small and just one bedroom that can barely fit a double bed and a tiny closet. The worst part of all this was the realtors, they told me the lift was approved for building (it is an old building, from 1897) but it turned out it was a blatant lie, and also just before giving me the keys they told me I had to pay 10k extra in cash or they were not giving me the keys (all while I was staying at a place that I rented that I told the landlord I was leaving)... an absolute nightmare. I stayed strong and didn't pay, but if I didn't get a massive depression, I would've sued (maybe I still have time?) It is also really hard do decide, would I be happier in another location with a better apartment? would I regret it If I moved far away? am I regretting the tiny apartment in a good area? I don't know, and it is so hard to make a decision that you can't take back (specially If your funds are limited) Still, I am very lucky, I love the place I live in, thanks to being my own place I could adopt two cats, I am minutes walking to all museums, stores, bars, terraces from Madrid and I am paying every month to get to keep the apartment, I am not just giving it to a landlord. there is also many things that I love, like the woden columns and the little balcony that has those beautiful iron bars with figurines, and the view of the rooftops. and the best of all I don't have to be always afraid of the landlord kicking me out suddenly, which is a real concern. I wish it wasn't this difficult, and everyone had the right to a permanent home. I feel guilty that I could buy, honestly, and also because no one in my circle has bought an apartment I feel incredibly gilty if I complain about how difficult this whole process was. anyway I hope your house is great and you enjoy it a lot, you really deserve it :)
I bought my first home a year ago and I can relate to this really hard, especially the "is that it?" feeling when you get the keys. It took us 8 months to move into our home, and we could only view it in person once because of lockdowns. I felt like my whole life was geared up to buying a house and it's weird to finally reach it. I'm obviously aware of how lucky I am and grateful for what I have, but it's such a strange balance of being proud but also not wanting to talk about it. Also: when things break I don't have to wait for a landlord to fix it, but now I am responsible for fixing. It can be a little bit overwhelming at times? But still, congratulations! You deserve to be excited and don't have to feel obliged to "show it".
We moved into our first house in October 2020 and it is totally possible to furnish a house all second hand. Our bed and sofas were passed down from friends and family and our table, chairs, bookcases and desk all came from eBay and Facebook marketplace and we got our TV cabinet for free as it was just left outside someone’s house with a ‘please take me’ sticker on it. (This is also a really cheap way to do it and means you can get more furniture quicker!) Also you are totally able to make a house feel ‘yours’ or ‘on brand’ without redecorating just by having your own stuff in there. For example our lounge is exactly the same colour, flooring, lights etc as when we moved in but it now has instruments hanging on the wall, shelves full of our books, the board game corner and plants all over the places. We haven’t redecorated or bought anything new (except for the guitar hooks for the wall) but it feels like a completely different room from when we viewed the house.
I have inherited a big but rundown house in a beautiful country town and invited my daughter and her family to come and share it with me as they had lost their rented home in the recent floods in Australia.We are doing the house renovations ourselves using all second hand materials where possible and we are a very happy contented household.This communal living is very sustainable and economical if you can get on well with your fellow housemates.Lena everything you said made perfect sense I too hate the real estate hoops people are made to jump through just to get a roof over their heads and as for renting it is impossible in Australia.
I think you've said this in the video, but wanted to affirm, I don't think any long term viewer of yours would expect you to suddenly shift gears in your content just because of this change. I would put it in the similar category of content as when you've shared your experiences in learning to sew more (e.g. the scrunchies or remaking your dungarees into dresses) or make more ethical/sustainable fashion (depop) or beauty/toiletries purchasing choices. If you have to feel you have something to share or say and you want to fill the related content in terms of curating the things you buy for the house then I think that's a Leena video essay there. It just might mean that video doesn't get made for another 6, 12, 18 months or more. For the laughs and the experience also totally vote you share the curtain making attempt, if you're up for it :D
Agree completely about not having taste about certain home things and that redoing everything can be such a waste of money/time. Congrats on your home, wishing you many happy years there.
I agree with your friend you are allowed to be happy about owning your own place. And i completly agree with you, about changing stuff that does not need to be changed. And also when it comes to decorating, I find a lack of real art on the walls to be rather sad if a persons house looks like every other house out there it really does not show much of their personality. Now I realize I am very lucky when it comes to art, I grew up with art lovers and artists and i inherited a LOT of it maybe too much. I run into the problem of I inherited a lot of lovely beautiful stuff and I rent a room, because house prices here are completly stupid! So I am paying to store all that beautiful stuff.
Love your comment on a 'shadow life' . That really sums up this spooky feeling of interruption that we all have. Although I take comfort from Frost's ' The Road Not Taken' and his mocking of the assumption that we have pure choice or that any one road is better than another.
as I'm currently looking to buy a home in Berlin, the city I live in (privilege check: family money, double-income household), rewatching this video made me feel less lonely. YES, the process is made to make you feel small and everybody is out to get you. And YES, trying to be happy for myself while also remembering how hugely privileged I am and how incredibly unfair this world is... is hard. Leena spitting TRUTH the whole way through this video 👏👏
I really feel the 'living in the midlands' struggle. A lot of my family still live in there and it's so hard to explain to them that it's like a whole other world compared to living down south :(
Watching this on the day I go to collect the keys for the house we just bought! I'm personally VERY excited and am going to try renovating it as fast as possible but that's because we are a household of mentally ill neurodivergent people who physically require pretty surroundings to not feel depressed. Although, I am also very conscious that the interior design industrial complex has its teeth in me.
I'm currently living in a house my partner bought thanks to a wad of inheritance, we're our mid twenties and had similar surely this is immoral feelings. The way I've got my head around it was that the housing crisis will still be going on whether or not I'm renting, or to put it another way me also suffering (however mildly) doesn't help the other people that are. Anyway, congrats :)
Congrats on a house - It's well deserved! I can totally relate to struggling about being excited about anything, or being able to express it, because of how awful things have been and the future outlook. Your positive panic series has helped me try to reframe my thinking, and it's lit a little spark of hope that I can hold on to. I live in the 10th least affordable city in the world (in recent rankings anyway) and have no faith I will be able to ever, ever buy a home. I turn 30 next month and rent is a struggle to meet.
i agree. i bought a house at the start of covid and it also felt a bit anticlimactic and surreal considering it's my first home...just couldn't wait to hole up and feel secure in having my own place finally. i also love watching arielle and admire how she's working on her house. my house is very old but luckily doesn't need a ton of work or 'revamping' into the latest all grey style. congrats on your house!
I am honestly so relieved that you don't want to do renovation content. A lot of creators I watch bought houses recently and started renovating and it just makes me feel icky. Idk. But! I love your videos and I'm happy that you're able to get a place of your own. Congratulations to you and Craig ❤️
I think that either you are a relationship or an idea creator depends on your audience and the reason a person would click on a video you posted. It doesn't necessarily have to do with your intent, since (and that's from my experience) even though you often upload very informative videos I always click on them because I just want to hear you talk on a subject no matter what it is. I think that you're eloquent, and I enjoy your company and listening what YOU have to say on a subject.
It feels so nice to see this video. It has the same feeling of watching a friend achieve a milestone in their life 🤗 Because i remember snippets from your older videos where you mentioned renting, leaving london, paying so much in rent for the so many years that all that money combined could've bought a house. 😀 It gives me a warm feeling to see you finally having something that's your own. Its a big change.
I watch you because I like your personality but you also have wonderful ideas and a funny video editing style. I'd say you fall perfectly in the middle and THAT is the true reason why I watch you. I might click on an idea-based video and give them a view, but rarely do I subscribe without enjoying the person themselves. I also cannot watch every upload from a person that is more of a personality (but their videos lack content). All that to say: I think you are doing a wonderful job filling the perfect niche. :)
Totally agree with you about the pandemic changing hope and planning! I'm also on a completely different path in that I got made redundant, found a new job and then off the back of that decided to move to Brighton. So shitty circumstance which lead to actually something that I'm really happy with but feels like it's happened by chance and there's a parallel reality where my life would be totally different. I'm currently looking at buying my first flat and like you I feel like there's such a connection between having to make yourself not hope and not get excited about things and now trying similarly with flat stuff to enjoy it but also constantly be making an effort not get invested. Estate agents here will keep pushing and showing you properties that are already under offer so it all feels so insecure until you've exchanged. Anyway, congrats and hope you enjoy settling into the new place :D
I value watching someone go through something new for the first time. Helps validate the fuck ups and the difficulties as well as encouragement to be able to learn.
I move a lot too. I have often felt sad that the places I live never reflect me. It’s actually felt like a personal failing at times. With every move I feel inspired but, inevitably, it just becomes a place I need to survive. Each place has its pros and cons. I’m always grateful for these places. I have been safe and warm, my books all fit, and my pets are happy. Thank you for sharing and congratulations on your new house.
I like your content exactly bc you *aren't* an idea creator (in the definition the guy said it - it could be done by anyone, bc the idea is neat), but you also aren't a *relationship based* YTer; you talk about ideas (capitalism, sustainability, books, s3x, veganism) in the way they relate to you, the way they can relate to all of us. You aren't skydiving with ppl who know how to film your jump - anyone not scared enough can jump, but nobody can relate to ideas and concepts the way you can and showcase their thinking process the way you can bc you are unique (as we all are) and are relatable to a lot of us who (regardless if we are similar to you or not). And I love that. Listening to you never is a lecture, but the deep conversation I have with my friends in the kitchen after we watched a film that made us trip into am existential crisis - and I love it.
YEAAAA THIS. HONESTY. IS. WHY. I'M SUBSCRIBED. for mental health reasons, I gingerly avoid all YT channels that make me feel consumerist urges. the very aEsThEtiC ones that make me feel like trendy clothing/home decor made with sweatshop labor is a NEED and that if I purchase loads of products I could somehow fill The Void Within. you don't do that to me. thank you. you are my freaking FAVORITE and we are all wishing you a smooth transition. toward a day when housing is not a commodity
This is exactly how I figured you would go through the house-buying process, and it makes complete sense to me. I bought an old farmhouse just over a year ago, and I have done the same as you. I have slowly furnished with secondhand everything and I still struggle to understand why I would even have taste in wall colors. What I have cared immensely about is growing my own food, so I invested in fruit trees and building a fence for a garden area. Thank you for continuing to help me realize that I'm not the only one!
I would LOVE to see a video on the interior design marketing complex. I bought a very old house a few years ago and while I do love renovating, I am definitely being preyed upon by Big Interior Design!!
Your point about cultivating tastes is exactly how I feel about my wedding, there's so much pressure to find "the" dress, choose a colour scheme, a theme, flowers etc etc. All things that I have absolutely no opinion on . At's all just a con to convince people they need to spend more money. It enrages me 🤣
congrats on the house! most of the work we've done on our house has been to improve the insulation and try and get rid of damp rather than decorating, maybe you could do a vid on tips for making your house/garden more eco friendly?
This is so refreshing! We bought a house a year ago which was pretty run down but it meant we could afford a house big enough for our family and we couldn't afford to do anything to it for a year! Now we have just started some renovations but only a room at a time and some times I feel like we are behind and should have done everything up by now but I think that's just a pressure from seeing things on social media that just not realistic for a normal person.
Yesss to #NOHOUSECONTENT haha. You know, I aam right there with you... not so much because I do not love or love house content but more so because I always think the best content is the content that exites or inspires the maker #ideabasedcreator
For me you’re 100% a relationship creator, I would watch you do anything and I hope to join the gumption club when I can. But recently you’ve had such good content, you are growing for a reason. You have so many amazing ideas and interesting world views and ugh, love you Lena, wishing you the best
I resonate with your thoughts around being an idea vs relationship based content creator and whether or not you want to share what your house looks like SO much. I think a good way to go about it would be to only show the parts of your house that you have to/want to show in each video and not feel pressured to share every tiny detail or change you've made to your space, unless you're super excited about it or think it will help other people. Like for example if you discovered a really cool storage solution or a sustainable alternative to another product, I think that's totally worth sharing IF you want to. I never expect "relationship" content from an "ideas" creator or vice versa, but I'm pleasantly surprised when things get switched up or the two ends of the spectrum get blended together!
Yesssss! Before I bought a house I was so obsessed with HGTV, the idea of buying a house, and interior design. But over time since then I have calmed down and come to terms more with not wanting to increase waste for the earth with renovation & re-design. Luckily my wife and I have found most of our furniture items second hand :)
i think just as much as having a small business where you're the only employee doesn't make you own the means of production, owning a house that you live in doesn't make you a Property Owner™ like landlords that make the bulk of their money from rent
Had a similar feeling when we bought our flat last year. The whole process took 6 months, was exhausting, fraught with issues and honestly when we arrived I was so overwhelmed and distraught about the state of the world and having a bunch of weird guilt about home ownership. It's been a year now and it still looks like we just moved in because I've been reluctant to spend more money or time thinking about it. I just want to live in it, I'm tired of thinking it's a never ending project because it's actually fine as it is.
I feel like huge renovations are very often not necessary at all, it can change room a lot (and add your own personality to it) if you just change the colour of the walls, and then fill them with art you like. Doesn't require much but makes a big difference
Hello! Thanks for watching this very random video. If you're a RENTER, you might like my big video about RENTING ADVICE in your twenties: ruclips.net/video/xttMhm8CK_U/видео.html
And if you were hoping for buying advice, here are two I found very helpful (UK based):
ULTIMATE STEPS TO BUYING A HOUSE - EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW! (Patricia Bright) ruclips.net/video/sMLN0NVxJ5Q/видео.html
How I Bought A Flat in London (Hannah Witton) ruclips.net/video/ggz1OQeU-xU/видео.html
This video was not random at all, as I say below you are a modern philosopher, but your philosophy integrates the human and emotions with ideas and IDEALS which you acknowledge that we can never fully reach but we should strive for anyway. You are a philosopher of the everyday, and it’s connections to forever.
As such the everyday moments, the banality of buying a house if you will is actually a natural canvas for your philosophy to explore
Edit to say: explore whatever you like, did Plato “follow” Socrates just for his ideas or also for the person and the inspiration and community of thought? Both obviously, to divide them in your case would be absurd, you do not merely explore other philosophies or profess specific ideologies, you raise powerful questions and attempt to bring your own mind to bear on the answers. You create philosophy, video is merely the medium by which you communicate this to the world
But Leena, buying a house, agonizing over your privilege to own a house, that's authentically you. Moving in and keeping the interior basically as it is because that is the economically and ecologically smart thing to do, all of that DOES reflect you as a person. Congratulations, you made every room in your house your personal brand by changing exactly none of the interior that wasn't broken and needed changing. Not showing us the house because there is nothing you can spin into a teachable moment to our benefit, that's equally part of your personal brand. I'm completely on board with that. As much as I secretly like house tours and home remodeling videos, I don't expect them from every youtuber I like.
This is exactly how I feel too!
You put it really well :)
Yes exactly!!
I second that
Yes to this
Yes exactly!
Thanks for putting it so well.
I would watch/listen to Leena go shopping or touring the unchanged house anytime!
I think I need a video essay on the interior design industrial complex so that I can be yelled at into not being upset when my bedside table doesn't look like a beautiful Instagram bedside table
I SECOND THIS
yes please!
This feels like a callout
Yes to this!
Yes please!
this is the most leena way to announce buying a house. humble and introspective. which contributed to not feeling that 'envy' you talk about :)
i think you used to be a lot of a relationship based creator but lately I feel like there is way more concept-videos mixed in so yeah a middle of both seems fair!
sidenote during the last segment in the gray backdrop, that had amazing lighting! it was so comforting to hear your home doesnt need to completely reflect you and be a statement of interior design taste.
also... now that there's a house and a garden... any desire for pets?? :P
I second this whole comment! Agreed that the grey backdrop was lovely
Submitting my thesis and completing my viva and buying my first home all had the same vibe. SO PROUD but such an anticlimax and weird to process. I felt bad for not feeling amazing about it.
Congratulations!
Yes! This resonated so much with me. And now I can put that feeling into words.
@@laurajanefarrow it was 6 years ago now, but thanks nevertheless!!
My two cents is that you are a modern philosopher, but your philosophy integrates the human and emotions with ideas and IDEALS which you acknowledge that we can never fully reach but we should strive for anyway. You are a philosopher of the everyday, and it’s connections to forever.
This is wonderfully said
Side note: if you don’t think what you do is philosophy kick the imposter syndrome where the sun don’t shine because it definitely is
I relate so much re Midlands. I left the Midlands when I was 18, really built a life for myself in Brighton with lots of friends, and then due to financial circumstances (essentially reallyyy needing to not work for a while and just recover from some stuff I'd been through) I moved back in with my parents. I now have a really cool job here, I'm starting to make friends here and yesterday I got the keys to my own flat literally 5 mins from my childhood home. This is the first time I've been able to afford to live alone, which I'm really excited about and think will be a really positive experience for me. I've always felt like my hometown is a big part of who I am and I'm loving getting to know this place as an adult, but it's still just so weird to me that I'm now sort of settling down here? My 18 year old self right now is like wtf, why did we do all of that to just move back. All this to say yes please re Midlands video essay!!!
This is such perfect timing for me. My partner & I just got our first house, but that was only made possible because his father passed away and left him a bit of money. I've had some pretty precarious living situations and there's no intergenerational wealth on my side, so I've found myself feeling a lot of feelings that I didn't expect around being a home owner! Thanks for this
I find the current trend of remodeling a kitchen to increase the value of a house maddening. It is so frustrating that people are putting so much money and effort into turning every kitchen into a style that I do not like.
It starts with wall colour. People are told not to paint a wall the desired colour bc it decreases the resale value...
In which world do you
A) sell on a house so fast
B) can't paint over a wall
(Yes, painting over a wall needs resources like money, time, ecological questionable paint and equipment etc, but that's another topic...)
the envy i feeeeeel when hearing a friend of my bought a house and this helped comfort that feeling
Maybe one way to “create house related content“ that would still feel Leena-like could be something about books about organic gardening and stuff like that? I feel like this is one aspect where we (and especially every garden owner) can have a very direct and satisfyingly visible impact on biodiversity
Recently bought a house too and we're trying to rewild the garden would be great to see book recommendations for things that are not garden encyclopedias or pop garden design that's difficult to replicate
Submitting my dissertation online, graduating in 2020 was the most benign event that I thought would be amazing.
No graduation gowns, no pictures in front of the faculty with my dissertation, no final grad party, no nothing.
I still feel I didn't graduate.
I finished and didn't have a job, lost my support network etc
Makes those student finance letters sting more because it felt like a big waste of time because I didn't have that closure of "wool graduation!"
Gosh, I feel the exact same way. Graduated in June of 2020, and I felt both so overwhelmed, underwhelmed, and set behind. There's so much that we think will be structured. Maybe we'll network while finishing our degree and set up a job to walk right into. And we'll use our time with our friends well and set up a plan to keep in touch. Instead everything just faded away into uncertainty, it was so melancholy.
I'm finally starting my first full-time job after graduation on Monday, and hoping that the past 2 years were just an intermission.
@@Cherri_Stars Still looking for that full time job, I've delegated myself to becoming a (I enjoy teaching) but I had other plans that I've given up on because I can't afford to bleed money hoping I will get an interview or waiting for s position to open up.
Good luck on your next steps!!
I’m in the process of buying a house with my partner and everyone who had already bought houses were telling us ‘make sure you can add extensions etc’ and my partner made an excellent point about this and said but surely it’s more economical to buy a house that’s the right size for you and if you want a lot more space move if you need it/can otherwise all houses just become these large unattainable ones which is not good for the environment. Also hate that some people assume your going to want kids so are telling you to make sure it’s got enough room for that or it’s child friendly enough. Seeing as we’re not planning to have kids it’s ridiculous. But buying a house does seem to make people think they can start making assumptions about you
I like your partner's point. That's not something I've thought about. Though I haven't thought about buying a house in general...
Yeah, I've always felt a bit wierd when people talk about the giant houses they want, because I don't really get it. The people I am thinking of are usually single or a couple, who don't necessarily plan on having children... I have learned to be happy with my small space, to a point where anything that's more than a little bigger than what I've got just seems like a lot to clean! 🙃
Your eco perspective on house rennovation resonates with me so much! There's certain interior design styles i prefer to others, sure, but when I evetually buy a house I dont wanna rip everything out of it and start fresh to the detriment of the planet just to change the style to something marginally more pleasent to the eyes!! I'll work with what I've got an add my own touches that dont require a shit tonne of unecessary resources. (That being said, i am still an absolute sucker for house renovation content and will contine to watch it even though i dont agree with all of it hahaha)
You’re definitely a relationship based creator. I’m excited to see what you do with the house and your journey.
I find the large group of influencers moving "to the country" in order to buy a house because of covid kind of a complicated thing to think about. I think what bothers me about those people's ways of approaching the situation is it feels like they are taking credit for this unique idea that is really just something they are able to do because of a rather lot of privilege that they never acknowledge. Some of us could never afford to live in the city and are struggling to afford tiny apartments out here already.
This video, because of Leena's usual thoughtfulness, does NOT give me the same feelings of envy and frustration. I'm really happy for you Leena, truly. I'm also happy to hear that we're not going to get tons of house content in the future haha ❤ I love what you do and am looking forward to more fascinating thoughts and discussions.
I’m a nurse and I say thank god there were positives to the past 2 years. I’m v glad you were given the opportunity to buy a house. I think it’s BS when people reliably pay rent for years but have the door shut in their face when they want to buy.
Thank you for the "shadow life"-term. This is a perfect term for this very situation.
Congratulations Leena&Craig! I like how you were like we own this, the bank own this on the brick because that's truly the reality of home ownership for the majority. With a 10/15% deposit, the house really belongs to the bank not us but we've still got to celebrate being indebted to the bank for the next 25-35 years. yaaaay! 😆
Congrats on getting a home Leena. It's a tough time to buy a house and it's tough to share the news like you discussed but don't feel like you have to keep a low profile about it just because a lot of people don't have them. You are so honest about your journey, so genuinely aware about your privilege in life, your subscribers are I'm sure immensely happy for you ❤️
Xxx
I love that you mention the "shadow life," as a response to trauma. When my dad almost died when I was little, I felt for years like I was living a shadow life, that he had actually died and I was watching another person living the life I could have had, and that it could all vanish in an instant because it was too good to be true. When I see people talking about getting back to "normal" now, acting like we should all be fine because the death rates are down i just shake my head. It took decades for me to come to terms with my trauma and learn to accept the good in my life. I just hope that everyone reading this is being patient and kind to themselves and each other ❤
As someone who studied in the UK I found it so odd how the layout of so many houses were identical and when people would refer to it being hard having the washing machine anywhere but the kitchen because then they'd have to go upstairs. As a European I just thought... Upstairs? Surely houses are not "universal". Turns out a lot of them are very similar. 😅
😆
"It's hard to get excited about things because I've been repressing hope for so long..." this is so accurate! Congratulations on the house Leena & Craig! I know one moment will come out of the blue, likely very subtly, where it will hit you and you will be overcome with the feels of how damn cool it is. I'm excited for you both! 💖
I can so relate to that feeling of “the pandemic was horrid but I personally benefitted from it”. My partner and I have both been offered permanent home working because of the pandemic, meaning we no longer have a 2 hour each way commute and save on parking ect. That alone has had a huge effect on our lives
I would say you’re an idea based creator but you’re so likeable and what feels like open (even though openness is a grey area in this type of dynamic) that people are invested in you as a person
Uuuuh, I loved the point about manufacturing taste, where you don't have any. I really like not caring about some things and not having to have a taste in some areas. I am gonna have a better point with that spelled out in my next discussion.
I did recently buy my own house, but I rented throughout my twenties. That entire period was peppered with experiences that were "interesting", to say the least (including one time when a workman walked in on me in my bra, as he'd been authorised to enter my flat to do some work without me being told about it first! Fun!). But one moment definitely stands out as the moment where I just fully felt "fuck this noise" with all of my existence. I was renting a house with my partner - it was our first place together. It had its issues, but overall it was a reasonable house. The rent was kind of high for the area though.
We were having issues with the floor in the kitchen - the lino was bubbling and coming up, and it looked like the cause was some sort of damp rising from the foundations of the house. My partner and I decided to be proactive and flag it asap (mostly so we didn't end up getting blamed for not doing so). We contacted the rental agent, who contacted the landlord. The landlord said he was concerned and wanted to see it himself. We agreed that this was a good idea, and made an appointment for him to come round. So far, so normal.
Come the evening of the appointment, the landlord turns up, along with his wife... who was drunk. The two of them were laughing and were clearly not taking things very seriously. They told us that they'd just gone to dinner at a restaurant around the corner from the house, "as we were in the area, we thought why not!". Why not indeed. My partner and I had actually never been to that restaurant as it was pretty expensive.
We showed them the kitchen floor and tried to explain what we thought was the cause. The drunk lady seemed bored. Landlord took a few photos of the floor on his phone and then they left. A couple of days later we had a phonecall from the rental agent saying that the landlord believed the cause of the damage was that our washing machine (brand new; had never and to this day has never given us a single problem) had leaked and ruined the floor. I was speechless. The fucking audacity of it. And obviously the implication was that he thought we should pay for the damage.
We didn't pay anything for that in the end, but only because we paid for a contractor to come out and basically give his professional opinion of the situation. But the whole experience just left me with such a bitter taste in my mouth. My partner and I both have pretty stressful jobs with long hours expected of us. It was hard not to feel like we were working our arses off just to hand money to this unscrupulous bloke so that he could go out for nice dinners and get hammered with his wife. Perhaps I'm seeing the situation too harshly, but it felt very clear to me in that moment: "We are the people who work; you are the people who sponge off our work." Anyway, if anyone asks me what radicalised me, the answer is "renting in the south east of England" 🤣
My wife and I had no interest in home ownership--or, more specifically, the stability it represents--until it kind of fell into our laps over the pandemic. We had the opportunity to not actually own our own house, but informally rent from her parents a house that will become ours eventually. Basically we pay the mortgage and we live here indefinitely but it's her parents' names on the deed, and they were the ones to provide the capital. None of us could afford it without the help of the others--they couldn't afford to pay the mortgage but could come up with the down payment, and we couldn't come up with the down payment but could pay the mortgage. But even this is a huge privilege! Now, granted, it's a huge fixer-upper. It was built by my wife's great-great grandfather (that's why her parents wanted to buy it) in the 1890s, and the last two owners have badly neglected it. But it's a house, and it's ours to do with what we like. And that's more than I ever thought I'd have.
I just bought the 2 bed house with the stairs on the right too!! 😂 I almost didn’t because I just needed the House People to stop emailing/phoning me, totally had to be like ‘this will stop soon and forever if I just push through this next bit!’ Also struggling with feeling like I’m allowed to just enjoy it (I’m 33 this is my first house). Oh and Facebook marketplace for sofa etc!
That lesson about not needing interior design taste and a perfect representation of oneself in a house was one I recently learned. As someone interested in interior design, moving into a student dorm where all big furniture is totally unchangeable and charmingly youth hostel like, I had a really hard time reigning myself in in the beginning. I was so set on transforming my small 15m2 and after getting a used carpet and changing the curtains to my own ones, I really needed to learn the lesson that I don't have to embellish a room that I'm kicked out of as soon as I'm done with uni and that is really not how I would ever lay out my own furniture, so any customized decor would be absolutely useless afterwards. Moving here during covid, when I thought I would be mostly at uni, I was so desperate to live in this perfect self-reflection because it was where I spent all my time in a new city, but it helped to just think about where else I could put that creativity and self-expression. Also it makes the daydreams about what I would do to a potential future house even more sweet because I don't have to shoot my load everytime I move temporarily.
I felt exactly the same when I moved into my uni dorms! Dealing with furniture that isn't my style and is fixed to the walls, as well as not having the income to just buy whatever decorations I like anymore has completely changed my perspective on interior decorating. I've had to really look at the things I have owned for years and consciously admire them because it's so easy for them to just fade into the background once they've been around for so long.
I didn’t know I needed validation on the fact that I just don’t care that much about interior design until I got it from this video. Thank you so much
I bought my first house 10 years ago and don't plan on moving! I don't understand the whole "starter house" mentality. Moving is so stressful and expensive, I don't want to go through that again so I understand where you're coming from with the labor pains metaphor. :) Love from USA!
Oh pro tip on making curtains, whatever fabric you go for, put small weights in the bottom. I make my curtains like 3 inches too long and then flip that extra bit up at the back so its a pocket for weights, which are actually just big metal nuts (as in nuts and bolts) that I got for cheap from Homebase. You can even add buttons depending on how wide your curtains are, to stop the pockets gaping and looking weird. I add the weights to hold the curtains down, they look nicer I guess but its mainly for heat retention, wispy billowy curtains means DRAFT! and I live in a "stairs on the left" property so I know you have drafts...
I'd def say you are relationship based creator. I an interested in your ideas because I feel I have some idea of your values already, whereas if I saw the same titles from other creators I wouldn't immediately think I should watch it because I wouldnt yet value their opinion.
We took a picture with our keys and that's how we remember the memory!
Congratulations on the house Leena! As always, I love your honesty and openness. Your videos always feel like I'm hanging out with the big sister I never had :)
So much food for thought! Thanks for being so open about it. And in terms of content - I came for your ideas and stuck for the relationship :)
This is the best house buying video ever. I've come out a little envious that you don't have to deal with real estate again, but also really pleased for both of you to have somewhere to land. I earn a very good wage, but lol. House prices here in Australia are beyond insane everywhere.
So... congratulations!
That was very interesting! I definitely relate to the lack of excitement about 'objectively' exciting things. I haven't heard a conversation like this before about buying a house, so that was NEAT. (Tbh I'd love to see more house content, but also any other kind of content, I'll watch anyffin on this channel). Anyway congrats on the house!
while I haven't gotten a house, I find I often dread those things because they're so much work to get there for relatively little payoff in certain ways. 😅 But there's a ton to be said for housing security!
Plumbella said the same thing about houses in Britain 😅 after they built their house in the sims.
I’m moving again in 2 days! Still renting and I still hate it but also grateful to have a roof, four walls, and a door.
I also bought a house during the pandemic. We signed the initial paperwork the day before national lockdown in 2020 and got the keys eventually when the restrictions eased in August.
I had intentions of capturing my experience painting the house and getting into DIY. However the experience left me feeling weirdly flat. I found I was more excited in the run up to getting the keys and found the experience moving in both overwhelming and underwhelming, even though I was excited and thankful for being in the extremely fortunate position to own a home.
Covid has changed so much and taken away experiences from all of us. My family were not able to help me move due to Covid, and i've since found it hard to appreciate upcoming experiences until they are right in front of me from fear they'll be taken away!
I completely agree with what you share in this video. Congratulations on the perminant residence and enjoy the process of making the space work for you.
Out of curiosity have you been able to recapture some of the small joys? Painting without asking permission? Or even sitting drinking a hot beverage?
The comment about the 'shadow life' is something I've been grappling with a lot - I refer to her as "Alternate Reality Cath"
As arbitrary as it is, I am so happy for you, Leena! Rather than envy I am feeling second-hand relief and excitement for you. Try to enjoy it once the existential crisis has subsided!
Hey Leena, I’m on my way slowly through renovating my second part owned home. Delayed by having two kids somewhat.
I’ve had to do it on a very low budget and have learnt skills along the way. I was resistant at first but actually find it so satisfying, finishing a job, esp tiling.
One pitfall I would say to avoid as I share your view on reusing things and saving on waste, watch some advice on how to do specific jobs, make sure you’re using the right materials, tools and products. Shop well, shop once with house stuff! Best of luck and wishes in your new home 🐸💋
I lost track of everything you were saying because I was too busy wondering on the construction of your sweater, so I can make a dupe. 😬
Congrats for falling in to the “good bet” category ☺️
You should try filling your garden with native plants! It could be a fun way to explore renovation while helping local flora and fauna. Plus it means you don't have to do a lot of garden maintenance
Mazel tov and congratulations on buying your house! I can't believe it took well over 6 months to close on it, but HEY YOU DID IT!
You don't need to justify your happiness and excitement and how it's played out because of the pandemic. Yes, we were/are/have been all in the same storm but not the same boat. You have been blessed/lucky/fortunate in this particular aspect and stating that you are so grateful and acknowledging that privilege and stating that is what's going on in your life is completely okay. You're allowed to celebrate your milestones even though there are negative things in the world for others regarding that same milestone you've achieved.
You can still advocate for accessible and affordable housing, as an example, while still celebrating buying your new home. These aren't mutually exclusive.
Congrats hun 💖
Owning a home is all kinds of feelings. Slowly making it your own is part of the journey. There’s so much of my home decorated with second hand furniture that I love and that’s what I’ve built my style around - slowly making a space that I feel comfortable and joyful in.
I just bought a house, also had the offer accepted back in October and I totally relate to this. It all seemed like it would never happen until the very last week and then it all happened in one big overwhelming (and at the same time underwhelming) flash. It definitely felt like there should have been a big to do about getting the keys but nope, just handed to us on a promotional key ring (as if I’m ever going to want to go through any estate agent about anything ever again?). With regards to the luck at someone else’s expense thing as well - the main reason we had a deposit (or at least one large enough to afford this particular house) was because my partner’s parent died a couple of years ago. So it’s a weird feeling. Mostly very positive as I love my house and especially love having a garden (something I never expected!) but yeah bittersweet.
Congrats on your new home! I also just got a home and it has a garden and relate to you so much on cherishing one when I never expected to get one 😍
@@jazzypari Thanks, and same to you! :) The previous owner clearly put a lot of time and effort into the garden and I want to make sure it still feels loved!
Wowza... this was highly relatable. The process of buying a home has been a rollercoaster for Leah and I. We're probably more "relationship" creators and therefore our actions and choices have an impact of the friends who follow us online. We're SUPER MEGA privileged and we feel bad for that sometimes... Thanks for articulating stuff that is in my brain Leena. You great.
I love the "stairs are on the right" comment, made me chuckle 😄
Thank you!
This is the video I NEEDED! This is a decision I made as well recently, and it also just felt so underwhelming once the process was actually completed, but was SO GLAD once the process was actually over that the relief was celebration enough at the time.
I have fallen in love with a family home but it’s a major fixer upper: there isn’t even central heating. Nothing has been updated in 40 years.
Unfortunately this family home that was evaluated at 285.000 4 years ago, is now 475.000 and it’s just waiting for the overbidders.
It feels like having a place to live that fits a small family is going to be really really hard for many many years to come. Yes I am jealous every time someone shares that they have bought a house.
I cannot even rent a house, I’m in my one-bedroom social housing, and I know that’s already more than so many people my age have.
I’m almost done studying (for the third time😂) so in a year or so I’ll be living in a place that should go to someone that has lower wages, unless I find some luck, there won’t be anywhere to go. And I already feel bad about having this plave, and feeling jealous with people who have bought a house.
(Too long of a word vomit)
thanks for putting into words what i feel about interior design! some people are so disappointed when you don't want to change everything about your house... ;)
This is incredibly relatable for me right now as my spouse and I are in the process of closing on a house as well!
As to whether you’re a relationship- or idea-based creator, I’d say you slide towards relationships with a side of ideas. I definitely come because you’re you but also because what you have to comment on is a topic that I’m interested in hearing about. Congrats on the new home!!
Congratulations and thank you for making this video! My partner and I are trying to buy a house in The Netherlands, I am just now realizing that I have totally internalised this idea that your house should reflect 'you'. It's good to check myself - I am not my job, I am not where I live or how I live. I simply am. Everthing else is secondary!
I would 100% watch that interior design complex video. Nothing irritates me more than the pressure to move into your house and immediately renovate everything to your own highly developed personal aesthetic. From a practical perspective, you're not going to know things like how weather and sunlight affect your house until you've been there at minimum a full year (and ideally more) and that massively impacts renovation and design choices-nothing resets your priorities like living through a few winters in your house. Personally, I also think you should make design decisions slowly and minimally, with the idea that if you paint your walls or buy furniture that you will then live with those choices until they are worn to death-so much less wasteful!
We've lived in our house for six years now, and we were also lucky in that it hasn't needed much work until now. We're taking this opportunity to do things like pick curtains we like (this place came with them) and paint the outside a colour we prefer, and we will then keep those things until they're worn through.
Quote of the year, "resentment masquerading as morality"
God do I probably do that 😂
Loved this video!
I own a house but only because I'm incredibly lucky. And I really struggle not to decorate it in a style because of interior design pressures and keeping up with the joneses mentality
Enjoy your lovely new home leena!
Thank you for normalizing not having preferences about how some random interior detail look! I struggle so much with the fact that I am not into decorating, remodeling etc and just want to leave the things as they are if they are functional.
Leena just enjoy this. This is the place where you will be most of your time if not all of it. Decorate it the way you want, hang stuff or not, but let yourself enjoy this. little things like plates and lamps can make you feel more at home. You deserve this don't overthink this much. You are over policing yourself.
As a person who has been living in the same house for many years, there will come a time when you want to re-paint a room. Over time, paint gets grubby and chipped. It does need re-doing sometimes. Wait until a particular room starts looking like you actually want to re-paint it. Then re-paint that one. Having to move all the furniture so you can re-paint a room is a lot of hassle, don't put yourself through that unnecessarily, and don't do all the rooms at once unless you have to.
As someone who also recently bought a house, I can relate so much to the things you are talking about...like that inability to feel super excited after getting the keys because the process of getting the house has been so long and complicated and our hopes were so low at the end... Also the house itself isn't in a very good state... So it will require quite a bit of work and resources, and now I feel really torn apart between trying to renovate it in the most sustainable way possible (making it more energy efficient, getting more DIY and second-hand stuff instead if buying new, making sure basic stuff is high quality and is made out if renewable materials, etc.) and trying to stay within a rather limited budget... The fact that it has to be made livable ASAP because moving back in with parents isn't very good for family relationships makes it even harder😅
I also bought an apartment during covid... it was one of the most scary and difficult things I have ever done in my life. I chose to buy in an area of Madrid that I love, so I have made a lot of sacrifices, like having the apartment super small and just one bedroom that can barely fit a double bed and a tiny closet. The worst part of all this was the realtors, they told me the lift was approved for building (it is an old building, from 1897) but it turned out it was a blatant lie, and also just before giving me the keys they told me I had to pay 10k extra in cash or they were not giving me the keys (all while I was staying at a place that I rented that I told the landlord I was leaving)... an absolute nightmare. I stayed strong and didn't pay, but if I didn't get a massive depression, I would've sued (maybe I still have time?)
It is also really hard do decide, would I be happier in another location with a better apartment? would I regret it If I moved far away? am I regretting the tiny apartment in a good area? I don't know, and it is so hard to make a decision that you can't take back (specially If your funds are limited)
Still, I am very lucky, I love the place I live in, thanks to being my own place I could adopt two cats, I am minutes walking to all museums, stores, bars, terraces from Madrid and I am paying every month to get to keep the apartment, I am not just giving it to a landlord. there is also many things that I love, like the woden columns and the little balcony that has those beautiful iron bars with figurines, and the view of the rooftops.
and the best of all I don't have to be always afraid of the landlord kicking me out suddenly, which is a real concern. I wish it wasn't this difficult, and everyone had the right to a permanent home. I feel guilty that I could buy, honestly, and also because no one in my circle has bought an apartment I feel incredibly gilty if I complain about how difficult this whole process was.
anyway I hope your house is great and you enjoy it a lot, you really deserve it :)
I bought my first home a year ago and I can relate to this really hard, especially the "is that it?" feeling when you get the keys. It took us 8 months to move into our home, and we could only view it in person once because of lockdowns. I felt like my whole life was geared up to buying a house and it's weird to finally reach it. I'm obviously aware of how lucky I am and grateful for what I have, but it's such a strange balance of being proud but also not wanting to talk about it. Also: when things break I don't have to wait for a landlord to fix it, but now I am responsible for fixing. It can be a little bit overwhelming at times? But still, congratulations! You deserve to be excited and don't have to feel obliged to "show it".
I feel you, the pandemic is also the reason I can now look for a house and trying to find a place. It's wild and bittersweet
We moved into our first house in October 2020 and it is totally possible to furnish a house all second hand. Our bed and sofas were passed down from friends and family and our table, chairs, bookcases and desk all came from eBay and Facebook marketplace and we got our TV cabinet for free as it was just left outside someone’s house with a ‘please take me’ sticker on it. (This is also a really cheap way to do it and means you can get more furniture quicker!)
Also you are totally able to make a house feel ‘yours’ or ‘on brand’ without redecorating just by having your own stuff in there. For example our lounge is exactly the same colour, flooring, lights etc as when we moved in but it now has instruments hanging on the wall, shelves full of our books, the board game corner and plants all over the places. We haven’t redecorated or bought anything new (except for the guitar hooks for the wall) but it feels like a completely different room from when we viewed the house.
I have inherited a big but rundown house in a beautiful country town and invited my daughter and her family to come and share it with me as they had lost their rented home in the recent floods in Australia.We are doing the house renovations ourselves using all second hand materials where possible and we are a very happy contented household.This communal living is very sustainable and economical if you can get on well with your fellow housemates.Lena everything you said made perfect sense I too hate the real estate hoops people are made to jump through just to get a roof over their heads and as for renting it is impossible in Australia.
I think you've said this in the video, but wanted to affirm, I don't think any long term viewer of yours would expect you to suddenly shift gears in your content just because of this change. I would put it in the similar category of content as when you've shared your experiences in learning to sew more (e.g. the scrunchies or remaking your dungarees into dresses) or make more ethical/sustainable fashion (depop) or beauty/toiletries purchasing choices. If you have to feel you have something to share or say and you want to fill the related content in terms of curating the things you buy for the house then I think that's a Leena video essay there. It just might mean that video doesn't get made for another 6, 12, 18 months or more. For the laughs and the experience also totally vote you share the curtain making attempt, if you're up for it :D
Agree completely about not having taste about certain home things and that redoing everything can be such a waste of money/time. Congrats on your home, wishing you many happy years there.
I agree with your friend you are allowed to be happy about owning your own place. And i completly agree with you, about changing stuff that does not need to be changed. And also when it comes to decorating, I find a lack of real art on the walls to be rather sad if a persons house looks like every other house out there it really does not show much of their personality. Now I realize I am very lucky when it comes to art, I grew up with art lovers and artists and i inherited a LOT of it maybe too much. I run into the problem of I inherited a lot of lovely beautiful stuff and I rent a room, because house prices here are completly stupid! So I am paying to store all that beautiful stuff.
Love your comment on a 'shadow life' . That really sums up this spooky feeling of interruption that we all have. Although I take comfort from Frost's ' The Road Not Taken' and his mocking of the assumption that we have pure choice or that any one road is better than another.
as I'm currently looking to buy a home in Berlin, the city I live in (privilege check: family money, double-income household), rewatching this video made me feel less lonely. YES, the process is made to make you feel small and everybody is out to get you. And YES, trying to be happy for myself while also remembering how hugely privileged I am and how incredibly unfair this world is... is hard. Leena spitting TRUTH the whole way through this video 👏👏
I really feel the 'living in the midlands' struggle. A lot of my family still live in there and it's so hard to explain to them that it's like a whole other world compared to living down south :(
Watching this on the day I go to collect the keys for the house we just bought! I'm personally VERY excited and am going to try renovating it as fast as possible but that's because we are a household of mentally ill neurodivergent people who physically require pretty surroundings to not feel depressed. Although, I am also very conscious that the interior design industrial complex has its teeth in me.
I'm currently living in a house my partner bought thanks to a wad of inheritance, we're our mid twenties and had similar surely this is immoral feelings. The way I've got my head around it was that the housing crisis will still be going on whether or not I'm renting, or to put it another way me also suffering (however mildly) doesn't help the other people that are. Anyway, congrats :)
Congrats on a house - It's well deserved! I can totally relate to struggling about being excited about anything, or being able to express it, because of how awful things have been and the future outlook. Your positive panic series has helped me try to reframe my thinking, and it's lit a little spark of hope that I can hold on to.
I live in the 10th least affordable city in the world (in recent rankings anyway) and have no faith I will be able to ever, ever buy a home. I turn 30 next month and rent is a struggle to meet.
Love. Your. Personality your. So. Happy. And. Excited. About. Life. Wish. More. People. Were. Like. That
i agree. i bought a house at the start of covid and it also felt a bit anticlimactic and surreal considering it's my first home...just couldn't wait to hole up and feel secure in having my own place finally. i also love watching arielle and admire how she's working on her house. my house is very old but luckily doesn't need a ton of work or 'revamping' into the latest all grey style. congrats on your house!
I am honestly so relieved that you don't want to do renovation content. A lot of creators I watch bought houses recently and started renovating and it just makes me feel icky. Idk. But! I love your videos and I'm happy that you're able to get a place of your own. Congratulations to you and Craig ❤️
I think that either you are a relationship or an idea creator depends on your audience and the reason a person would click on a video you posted. It doesn't necessarily have to do with your intent, since (and that's from my experience) even though you often upload very informative videos I always click on them because I just want to hear you talk on a subject no matter what it is. I think that you're eloquent, and I enjoy your company and listening what YOU have to say on a subject.
It feels so nice to see this video. It has the same feeling of watching a friend achieve a milestone in their life 🤗
Because i remember snippets from your older videos where you mentioned renting, leaving london, paying so much in rent for the so many years that all that money combined could've bought a house. 😀
It gives me a warm feeling to see you finally having something that's your own. Its a big change.
Xxx
I watch you because I like your personality but you also have wonderful ideas and a funny video editing style. I'd say you fall perfectly in the middle and THAT is the true reason why I watch you. I might click on an idea-based video and give them a view, but rarely do I subscribe without enjoying the person themselves. I also cannot watch every upload from a person that is more of a personality (but their videos lack content). All that to say: I think you are doing a wonderful job filling the perfect niche. :)
Totally agree with you about the pandemic changing hope and planning! I'm also on a completely different path in that I got made redundant, found a new job and then off the back of that decided to move to Brighton. So shitty circumstance which lead to actually something that I'm really happy with but feels like it's happened by chance and there's a parallel reality where my life would be totally different.
I'm currently looking at buying my first flat and like you I feel like there's such a connection between having to make yourself not hope and not get excited about things and now trying similarly with flat stuff to enjoy it but also constantly be making an effort not get invested. Estate agents here will keep pushing and showing you properties that are already under offer so it all feels so insecure until you've exchanged.
Anyway, congrats and hope you enjoy settling into the new place :D
I value watching someone go through something new for the first time. Helps validate the fuck ups and the difficulties as well as encouragement to be able to learn.
The least annoying ‘I bought a house video ever haha! But seriously, well done it is something to be veryy excited about!!
I move a lot too. I have often felt sad that the places I live never reflect me. It’s actually felt like a personal failing at times. With every move I feel inspired but, inevitably, it just becomes a place I need to survive. Each place has its pros and cons. I’m always grateful for these places. I have been safe and warm, my books all fit, and my pets are happy. Thank you for sharing and congratulations on your new house.
I like your content exactly bc you *aren't* an idea creator (in the definition the guy said it - it could be done by anyone, bc the idea is neat), but you also aren't a *relationship based* YTer; you talk about ideas (capitalism, sustainability, books, s3x, veganism) in the way they relate to you, the way they can relate to all of us. You aren't skydiving with ppl who know how to film your jump - anyone not scared enough can jump, but nobody can relate to ideas and concepts the way you can and showcase their thinking process the way you can bc you are unique (as we all are) and are relatable to a lot of us who (regardless if we are similar to you or not). And I love that. Listening to you never is a lecture, but the deep conversation I have with my friends in the kitchen after we watched a film that made us trip into am existential crisis - and I love it.
YEAAAA
THIS. HONESTY. IS. WHY. I'M SUBSCRIBED.
for mental health reasons, I gingerly avoid all YT channels that make me feel consumerist urges. the very aEsThEtiC ones that make me feel like trendy clothing/home decor made with sweatshop labor is a NEED and that if I purchase loads of products I could somehow fill The Void Within.
you don't do that to me. thank you. you are my freaking FAVORITE and we are all wishing you a smooth transition.
toward a day when housing is not a commodity
Xxxx
This is exactly how I figured you would go through the house-buying process, and it makes complete sense to me. I bought an old farmhouse just over a year ago, and I have done the same as you. I have slowly furnished with secondhand everything and I still struggle to understand why I would even have taste in wall colors. What I have cared immensely about is growing my own food, so I invested in fruit trees and building a fence for a garden area. Thank you for continuing to help me realize that I'm not the only one!
I would LOVE to see a video on the interior design marketing complex. I bought a very old house a few years ago and while I do love renovating, I am definitely being preyed upon by Big Interior Design!!
Your point about cultivating tastes is exactly how I feel about my wedding, there's so much pressure to find "the" dress, choose a colour scheme, a theme, flowers etc etc. All things that I have absolutely no opinion on . At's all just a con to convince people they need to spend more money. It enrages me 🤣
congrats on the house! most of the work we've done on our house has been to improve the insulation and try and get rid of damp rather than decorating, maybe you could do a vid on tips for making your house/garden more eco friendly?
This is so refreshing! We bought a house a year ago which was pretty run down but it meant we could afford a house big enough for our family and we couldn't afford to do anything to it for a year! Now we have just started some renovations but only a room at a time and some times I feel like we are behind and should have done everything up by now but I think that's just a pressure from seeing things on social media that just not realistic for a normal person.
Yesss to #NOHOUSECONTENT haha. You know, I aam right there with you... not so much because I do not love or love house content but more so because I always think the best content is the content that exites or inspires the maker #ideabasedcreator
For me you’re 100% a relationship creator, I would watch you do anything and I hope to join the gumption club when I can. But recently you’ve had such good content, you are growing for a reason. You have so many amazing ideas and interesting world views and ugh, love you Lena, wishing you the best
I resonate with your thoughts around being an idea vs relationship based content creator and whether or not you want to share what your house looks like SO much. I think a good way to go about it would be to only show the parts of your house that you have to/want to show in each video and not feel pressured to share every tiny detail or change you've made to your space, unless you're super excited about it or think it will help other people. Like for example if you discovered a really cool storage solution or a sustainable alternative to another product, I think that's totally worth sharing IF you want to. I never expect "relationship" content from an "ideas" creator or vice versa, but I'm pleasantly surprised when things get switched up or the two ends of the spectrum get blended together!
Yesssss! Before I bought a house I was so obsessed with HGTV, the idea of buying a house, and interior design. But over time since then I have calmed down and come to terms more with not wanting to increase waste for the earth with renovation & re-design. Luckily my wife and I have found most of our furniture items second hand :)
i think just as much as having a small business where you're the only employee doesn't make you own the means of production, owning a house that you live in doesn't make you a Property Owner™ like landlords that make the bulk of their money from rent
Had a similar feeling when we bought our flat last year. The whole process took 6 months, was exhausting, fraught with issues and honestly when we arrived I was so overwhelmed and distraught about the state of the world and having a bunch of weird guilt about home ownership. It's been a year now and it still looks like we just moved in because I've been reluctant to spend more money or time thinking about it. I just want to live in it, I'm tired of thinking it's a never ending project because it's actually fine as it is.
I feel like huge renovations are very often not necessary at all, it can change room a lot (and add your own personality to it) if you just change the colour of the walls, and then fill them with art you like. Doesn't require much but makes a big difference