To those who have gone through egg freezing, is currently considering, or decided not to, I along with others would love to hear from you! What was going through your heart and mind as you thought about this? Please share as your comments not only help me but other women too!
@@all4yoojin I always thought I was super fertile but life happens. People tell me, oh you’re so young, it will happen one day and it’s very sweet of them but some things are out of your control no matter how hard you try.
I'm 29, turning 30 this December. I have a job, but still think I either didn't get my shit togetger to be in the relationship, or didn't find anyone to like me and be my partner, and not my baby/parent. I'm afraid I won't find anyone in the next 10 years, this is why I'm considering it, so you video is spot on.
@ClaudiaM-om4em I disagree with that. She looks great and seems really intelligent. I'm sure there's someone out there for her and that man will find him without her following your advice.
as a gym freak I thought am in a grave danger for refrigerating my boiled eggs ....and few minutes into the video I realized this not about "the eggs".🙃
I froze my eggs at 36. It had no impact on me. No fat gain, no infection, no pain, nothing. I am now 39 and pregnant naturally. I don't regret at all. It give me a piece of mind. That I had a plan b, if.my plan a would fail. I also live in Canada and only paid 4000 $ cad.
I am a little shocked that she mentioned how much she paid. Many large companies cover it. My company covers IVF entirely in the US beyond regular medical benefits.
I hope you are ok. The truth is women can develop problems way after the IVF, we just don't know to what degree because there's no consistent data about it. Again, I hope you are all well
It sounds like you were/are super fertile and healthy which is obviously the opposite problem of what most women going through the process are so…?? And 90% of them will be paying a lot. Outlier on all accounts.
Thank you for telling your experience. In my case, I would have loved to be a mother at 30. But when I reached 35 and still couldn't find the right person, I preferred to freeze my oocytes because I began to feel like I was in a race against time. Now at 37 I do feel like I found the right person and we will surely start trying soon. In my family there are many cases of infertility and I know it can break your heart, if I try and fail at least I will rest assured that I did everything I could within my power, I have no regrets.
The problem is that you believe that Hollywood BS that there is a "right person" there is no right person we all are full of flaws...ones should lower his standards and settles when the minimum requirements are there....
@@mizoyarol9873 you’re missing the point, because there are definitely wrong person lol so a person is wrong if they are not the right person. No one said they need to be this Mr.Perfect, but just the minimal good, which has proven to be difficult to come by.
@@mizoyarol9873 On the contrary, if you do not want to have a child alone, it is necessary to find the right father for your future child. I had many relationships with men who appeared and disappeared. I even think I had very low standards because I was always with men who didn't value me. I met my fiance 3 years ago, he is an emotionally mature, stable man who knows what he wants, with him I feel safe having a child, we are going to get married in November. Exactly what Hollywood sells you are toxic relationships, what we have is love, friendship and companionship. I love him and dream of making our family. Never lower your standards!
On the contrary, if you do not want to have a child alone, it is necessary to find the right father for your future child. I had many relationships with men who were not reliable o didnt want to have kids, its not easy. I even think I had very low standards because I was always with men who didn't value me. I met my fiance 3 years ago, he is an emotionally mature, stable man who knows what he wants, with him I feel safe having a child, we are going to get married in November. What Hollywood sells you are toxic relationships, what we have is love, friendship and companionship. Never lower your standards!
As someone who became a mother at 27 (I'm now 29)- I can say that having children later in life is more difficult because of the lack of energy, among other things. My father had my 3-year old brother at 51 and when my brother is 18 my father will be 70. My brother is half-Japanese so I expect that he will fall in-line with Japanese culture (they all live there) and he will have to care for my elderly father the moment he becomes old enough to live his life. A selfish choice. And the wife had my brother at 38 and she struggles to keep up with such an energetic child. I wanted to start a family at 15. I still wish I had the opportunity to do so. It sucks being an older mom.
I went through my 20s being sure I was going to freeze my eggs and become a mother as late as biologically possible. I’m going to turn 30 next year, just quit my high paying corporate job to make a transatlantic move to study something creative, and now I don’t want to freeze my eggs anymore. I realized my desire to freeze my eggs came from fear. I didn’t trust that my future partner could be reliable so I wanted to grow my assets as big as possible before getting kids. I somehow had this thought that I had to have it all figured out before becoming a mom, and I guess it was because I didn’t trust in my ability to deal with situations that arises after giving birth one step at a time, which essentially is how life always has been and always will be. This fear also pressured me to prioritize survival and wealth accumulation (which I wasn’t even good at lol) rather than choosing a career path that I felt truly happy with. Now I let go of a lot of these fear and am much happier. Sure, I may or may not be able to conceive naturally in the future. While I would still love to have children, I now just decided that if it happens, great, and if not, I’ll still find a way to be happy and be a great aunt. But I realized that stressing over the future is what would drive my egg quality down early on anyways, and the best thing I could do for myself and my future family is to enjoy my present life and take a pristine care of my physical, mental and spiritual health right here right now. Thank you so much for your refreshing thoughts, Yoojin. Much appreciated.
This. Some of us go the opposite of "care free" and get anxious about the future. We can only count our blessings and live and love authentically at the moment 😊 (is not always a romantic partner but something that gives our lives meaning like friends or family)
I honestly related so much to this. I have been down the exact same path & am just now trying to live one day at a time & not fret about having everything "together" before entering the next chapter of life (marriage, family, etc.) Wishing you all the best on your journey
Quality of eggs lowers with age, not by stressing about future. I am a man in his late thirties going through surrogacy and our agency only offered egg donors in their early twenties which is correct way because their eggs are most healthy. A surrogate can be over thirty but the genetic material is crucial for successful process. It's a cold fact unfortunately.. I wish everyone success and happiness.
@leoprg5330 it's totally correct to say that egg (and sperm) quality decline with age, but the rate of decline is dependent on many factors, one of which *could be* stress. Hoping on a successful surrogacy journey for you
"Just because it's there doesn't mean we have to do it." Thank you for that voice, often missing in our hyper-rapid FOMO world. Wishing you all the best and thank you for this insightful video.
I froze my eggs at 36 and finally had children at 41. I couldn’t carry them on my own though. Egg freezing only buys you a few years. It also left me with a pelvic infection which resulted in 3 surgeries over 3 months, leaving me scarred, infertile and one less ovary at 36. Looking back, it’s hard to pinpoint which decision led me here. I spent too much time in bad relationships and getting over them. When there were good ones, I chose to relocate for better career opportunities. It takes 2-3 years to nurture a serious relationship. In hindsight, one can only do that many in her “prime”. It was stressful to continue risk breaking my heart and date in my mid and late thirties when men at the same age just didn’t share the same concerns. While I did pull it off, I’m considered the lucky few among my friends. I’m really happy and grateful to have my family now. I just wish I could enjoy that sooner. All those travels I had and the papers I publish, they don’t compare at all.
Wow seriously 2-3 years🤣my great grandparents met one day on the factory and were married within a week. Had 4 children, survived WWI, WWII and lived together until their death. There is huge mental problem with modern generation 🙄
@@hardshell9236 Seems like whatever generation you're from lacks empathy and decorum. Not everyone wants to decide to get married and have kids within a week of meeting, and it's not sound advice to tell people to do so either.
Hey, I am so happy for you that you have a family now. I agree with you, I also made expensive decisions that affected my health and I also wish I had met my husband earlier and not at 39.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts! Although I’m a guy I’ve also been in a similar mindset. I’m worried about dating, work and family, and how to juggle it all. I’m very aware of the “clock” that we’re all on, my ex-girlfriend was 33 when we broke up and our parents are getting older too. I had briefly discussed egg freezing, she dismissed it in the end. Nothing to do with breaking up, things just didn’t work out. And just like you said, fertility treatments are like a stock, nothing is guaranteed. I’m turning 40 in 10 days. I hope I’ll be a good husband to my future wife, a good father to my future children. At least I can continue to try to be a good son and take care of my parents.
Surprising how many people go through the same struggles, but still it doesn't help and dating is so hard. Probably now the world is more individualistic, people communicate less. I'm a woman of 38, I broke up with my bf couple of years ago because he didn't want to have children. And now I'm single, still no children 😅
Hi Yoojin, I decided against egg freezing in 2022 when I was made aware of the fertility funnel. I realized in that moment that the best decision for me was to stop wanting to control everything. Freezing my eggs was ''pointless'' if it did not give me a guarantee of a child in the future. As a single and child free 35yo woman, I am still happy with my choice to not do it. I focus now on other things in life, like learning Mandarin and use my free time for my love of art.
I am 34 and I froze mine 6 months ago. You are the first person I have heard say that they regret it, quite surprising. I had no weight gain, just bloating for about 7-10 days. I had no issues with muscle loss etc, I have a friend who done it one year ago. She also has no regrets or had issues with weight gain. The only hard time I had was taking the pill for a week. It didn’t make me feel good and it makes you bleed, and then your period comes straight after you stop taking it so I felt like I was bleeding for forever. Otherwise everything was fine.
Hey! Happy to hear that your egg freezing journey went well. Maybe I overate thinking that I should treat myself during the period hahaha. Sorry to hear the bleeding was rough though… I think the side effects hit differently for everyone. It’s been 3 years since freezing my eggs and my feelings toward the experience haven’t changed much. Probably won’t do it again😂
Omg that sounds bad. I'm 35 and pondering freezing but dunno, it's an expense and I'm not sure I even want kids. I'm just thinking maybe at some point within the next 15 years I might change my mind
I just think some people need to weigh up what’s more important to them, potentially gaining weight or having the option to have children for the future. I know what I would pick, even if I am not sure I want children. If I have the privilege of being able to afford it I wouldn’t miss this chance, and I will never regret this. My sister will do egg freezing next month.
@@NightinGal89I am 35 too, single with no prospects, wondering if I want more kids ( got one when I was 19, not sure if I want to do the journey again), in that case I need to freeze the eggs. Very confused about this subject. Of recent I have started to believe that I dont know how to date, and am not motivated to go on dates like I used when I was 32 yrs and below, I feel exhausted about dating. Sometimes I wonder if I will regret not putting enough effort to get a partner.
I don't regret it. I had it done in 1998, 2 cycles, when I was 35. With the technology of the time, they had to be fertilized 1st. It was not something I had ever heard of anyone doing before, and it certainly wasn't being advertised. I just knew that I wanted to preserve my reproductive options. Money wasn't an issue, as I had recently gotten a substantial inheritance. This wasn't about pursuing a career. More about getting my head together. In any event, it was successful on the 1st try, and I now have 15 year old twins. In general I think it's a good idea to keep your options open if you're in a position to do so.
@h-di4qd They didn't have the technology to freeze unfertilized eggs effectively until some years later, so yeah, I used donor sperm from California Cryobank. There have been a lot of changes in the technology and protocols in the last 26 years. I'm happy to answer any questions.😁
@aaa-my5xy Well, they were conceived in Nov of 1998 (my 2nd cycle) so a little less than 26 years ago, and that's conception without adding in gestation, so something between 24 and 25? Anyway, I've heard of I've heard of children being born from donor embryos who were actually conceived before their parents were. Kind of strange to contemplate.
You’re certainly inspiring. I came for the business school admissions tips and stayed because of your personality. Interesting how we have very different views about something, but I still can seat trough your whole talk. Good luck with the freezing! And hope NYC is treating you well 🙂
Aww thank you kindly, tay! This video was the one I was most nervous about posting and I appreciate your open mind. Best of luck with your business school application!! 🙏
@@all4yoojin I bet it was nerve wrecking. Nevertheless you did an awesome job 👏 you’re a great story teller, will keep learning from you for my future videos. Thanks 🙏 Don’t want to go back to PKU Guanghua so my targets better accept me haha
Thank you for this video and sharing your experience 🤗❤️ I had this thought torturing me throughout my entire late 30s, whether to go through this process or not. I was single and in therapy recovering from toxic relationships and situations. In the end I realised that it was a fear based decision. I knew I was perfectly healthy and I trusted my body and my life path. Now I’m almost 42, and got pregnant naturally 2 months ago after our 1st try. 🙏🏼❤️ I’m so glad it happened now, because I prefer the version of my present self much more than the one of 5-10 years ago. And I honestly don’t care what society thinks because everyone’s story is very unique. To me, staying physically, mentally and spiritually healthy is what’s most important ❤️ Much love and blessings xoxo
I'm 34 and I never considered freezing my eggs. I think I only wanted to be a mom when I was a kid, and that feeling only diminished over the years. I also have no patience for dating anymore. I'm actually more at peace being single than when I dated. And I really like my life the way it is.
I love that. It’s about following your intuition and seeing what truly fulfills you and what doesn’t. I think most people do things to follow the crowd or think that’s what is expected of them. And then later on, secretly resent the situation they are in or don’t feel fulfilled in life. If you follow your own heart, there is no way you won’t find contentness and peace.
@@m4ttaseeing as raising a kid costs roughly as much as a mid-size yacht, imposes a couple years' worth of sleep deprivation, ages your body and depletes the brain, it's hard to blame you. Parents actually lose high single digits IQ points (that may be related to stress and sleep but anyway). Becoming a mom (and to an extent, a responsible, invested dad) isn't to improve their life, it's to have life continue. It's like with jury duty: if all the smart folks with productive things to do with their time, get out of jury duty, we'll be judged by morons with nothing better to do - and over time the judicial system will get more & more skewed away from fairness & common sense - which is what we're witnessing.
I wanted to be a mom so bad that all I've ever been wanted! And sadly let someone who thinks women have just as long as men do for fertility when we don't. Wait to long it won't happen.
when i struggled with dating, i found advice i still find useful: instead of focusing on finding that one, i focused on personifying and becoming that person i dream of as the one. taking my heart off the search reduced that pressure immensely and gave me breathing space. also, from anecdotes, do things you like, that person will find you when you least expect it.
so honest!my best friend froze her eggs in here 30's too.she gave birth to a kid at 40 so now she has some spare eggs.when you share about the body changes,So Real.really grateful this option is available for ppl before they start chemo.May you stay healthy! enjoying your channel.
I totally get why you did it. When I was 29, my biological clock was screaming at me so loud that even though we weren’t in the best financial position with my partner, we had our 2 children in quick succession, I was 30 and 31 when they were born, my now husband a couple of years older. Yes it was more difficult financially than if we waited longer.. but no regrets because children need so much energy, it’s not just the question of being fertile, but can you be an active parent and take part in their childhood without struggling due to your age.
@@SaraGasmi-tr4so the way I felt that my biological clock was screaming at me was that I was very aware that I’m running out of time at close to 30, so if I wanted multiple healthy children, I have to hurry up and have them ASAP. I also didn’t want to have them as an older mother, because even if conception isn’t a problem, pregnancy complications are more common as someone ages.
Glad to hear you feel that you made the right choice. The biological clock is real. I never got the feeling of " my body clock screaming" but I remember vividly the strong desire to hug every cute babies I saw.... I dis know I was 4 weeks pregnant already. We can't stop that instinct.
@@SaraGasmi-tr4so i can explain it also. Mine was screaming at me at the ripe young age of 22. It was a desperate innate, internal, animalistic desire to have and raise children. The only thing i can compare it to is being hungry and desperate for food. It was some kind of deep and instinctual need.
This why i started eagerly dating from 34. Dating market is harsh!! Took meeting alot of people to find my guy at 37, and now we are trying to have a baby. Don't put off dating for later, it's important process of self discovery and getting the mr. Right!
This is incredibly insightful. Thank you for taking the time to revisit and reflect on your decisions and sharing them. Oftentimes we see people going through with it because that’s what society is selling at the moment without really thinking about what are we buying?
My IVF journey started when l was 35 as a single woman with donor sperm. I had 6 failed blastocyst implantation cycles. l had my 2 children by IVF at ages 37, my 7th cycle and 39, my 8th cycle. A woman's fertility naturally drops markedly by 30 years of age, significantly drops from 35 and thereafter to less than 1% by age 40. If you're worried about gaining weight before pregnancy, you'll find pregnancy quite challenging. There isn't a guarantee that an egg will fertilise and grow into a blastocyst (5 days post fertlisation). There isn't a guarantee that the implanted blastocyst will stick to the uterine wall. There isn't a guarantee that you won't miscarry. Freezing eggs is a gamble. IVF is a gamble. Parenthood is a gamble.
@@AimeeMarsh-m5y Even if 3% chance of conception at 45, that's 97% chance of not conceiving per month. Odds are stacked against conception and a healthy baby. Freezing eggs is just one component of IVF. Current statistics are: Women's age and IVF It's a common misconception that IVF treatment can overcome the effects of age on fertility. A woman's age also affects the chance of success with IVF. In Australia, the chance of a live birth from one complete IVF cycle (which includes all fresh and frozen-thawed embryo transfers following one ovarian stimulation) is about: 43% for women aged 30 to 34 years 31% for women aged 35 to 39 years 11% for women aged 40 to 44 years.
@@KateeAngel lf you don't want kids, don't have them. Not everyone is suited to the lifestyle and sacrifice. I always knew that l wanted to be a parent even from young adulthood. Be true to yourself.
39 here. I only thought about freezing my eggs a few years ago but then decided it wasn’t worth all the trouble, considering there’s no guarantee that it will work anyway. I just simply couldn’t find the love I want, the right person to build a family with, so I’m better off without kids. I never want to be a single parent. Also, if it’s meant to be, if I happen to meet someone, get married within a couple of years, I might still conceive naturally. Some women have a baby after their 50, it happens all the time. And if it never happens, so be it. I can’t control everything. And I don’t need to.
If you find someone later and can’t have kids…just adopt. A lot of kids need to find parents but no one takes them in. Actually even if you don’t find a partner, you can adopt and raise them as a single parent.
@@blueshoes5145My mom wanted to adopt but they want 2 parent home (she was married so no issue there) and she was too old for it (almost 50). She had place and money but it was not enough.
@@blueshoes5145You are very right, adopting is wonderful, the bad thing is that, at least in my country, it is super difficult, the authorities ask for a lot of procedures and requirements; almost no one achieves it.
Im 34 and the reality is I can’t afford to freeze eggs even if I wanted to. It’s a luxury. Maybe I can adopt one day even though my husband and I want a kid of our own so much. The universe said no. Even if I could afford it, my body can’t handle being pregnant. I can imagine it’d be a high risk pregnancy. Some things you just can’t have no matter how much you yearn for it.
You're not alone. I'm 38 and in a similar boat as you. There might still be hope. I decided to focus on my health (the one thing I can control that does make a difference) and trust that what is meant to be will be. Adoption is also a truly beautiful thing. The joy and precious gift of motherhood is not dependent on having your own biological children, but if there's a slight possibility for you to have biological children, I'd say go for it. Just be cautiously optimistic.
@@FoundSheep-AN you guys can’t even get your deities straight. Also I prayed for over a a decade as a child to till my adulthood for god to free me from my abusive stepfather. I was 9 and left church at 20. You’d think he’d have mercy on a child but nope, I got that nice childhood trauma instead. Save your bible thumping for another. I’ve prayed enough.
It depends on how badly you want a biological child and if you're willing to take steps to increase those chances. I was super healthy and had my first child naturally and easily at 40. However, it was super hard to conceive after 40 (for me, it varies for everyone). I looked and felt like I was in my 30s, but your egg quantity and quality will drop regardless of how young and healthy you look. At 41, I saw an infertility doctor who said the cut off for IVF with my insurance was 42. With the wait list, I would be 42 before I could receive treatment and was therefore ineligible. I spent two years trying different options, IUI, acupuncture, supplements that might improve egg quality, suffered a miscarriage... Eventually, I got pregnant naturally and gave birth to a healthy baby at 44. I had considered egg freezing but felt like I was so healthy, I didn't need it. Just know that your eggs will decline with age despite how healthy you are, and the longer you wait, the harder it will be. If having kids is a priority, then egg freezing while you have healthy eggs might be a good option. Also know that Western medicine (IVF, IUI) can help with egg quantity but not egg quality. There are supplements that have pretty strong research showing they do improve egg quality (CoQ10, NAD+). If you're in my boat where you waited too long to have kids, I highly suggest seeing a TCM/ acupuncturist who specializes in fertility (you can find a practitioner on ABORM). I really feel like it helped me conceive naturally against all odds at 44. Just my two cents.
Thank you for sharing your experience! I am recently married, and 33 years old. The thought of having a child at this stage makes me feel scared because there is so much I want to do before having children. But at the same time, I have the fear that as I age, I may go through the pain that my friends went through, struggling to bear children.
I am feeling the same! I feel like a few years of our "do what you want!" years were robbed due to the pandemic and now we are at the age to have kids. I'm taking notes from relatives a few steps ahead of us to build a support system that will help us do some of the things we wanted to do pre-kids, even after we have kids, if blessed.
I wish I had a child earlier so I don't have the physical challenges that I do today. I get tired very easily and now I have one, but wish I didn't have pain and exhaustion when playing and taking care of my child. And if I had her earlier, then she would be older today so I can travel with her to farther places.
@@yourbestie702 I was trying to show the world I was an independent woman. Unfortunately this type of mentality sometimes gets you involved in bad relationships (men that don't want any commitment) also I assumed I was super fertil and I took contraceptive pills which masked endometriosis symptoms. When I finally got married with a great man didn't know I had endometriosis. It took a few years to get diagnosed... too late 😪..
@@yourbestie702 it seems YT deleted my reply. I was trying to show the world I was an independent woman. I assumed I was super fertil and birth control masked endometriosis symptoms which I found out too late.
Sorry to hear that. I want to point out that many single women in their 30s have been searching but just not found the right person. There's a common social misconception that if a woman has reached 30ish unattached, she's been putting other things first before having a family. In my case I spent my entire 20s trying to find someone, knowing I wanted a family. It's a mixed bag and I just wanted to remind wider audiences of this -- women cannot make a husband and children appear in their 20s just because they want to.
I'm still single at 40 and tired of meeting men who don't even bother wearing proper clothes for a first date. It's been years of time consuming energy trying to meet people who don't even show up sometimes. The world is just lame right now.
I’m 31 and I feel much of the same. For some reason men just are not serious. I’ve seen many waste the time of my friends and family members even when they know the goal is marriage. I strongly believe you know if you like someone and want to spend time getting to know them early on. I have met men in their 50s talking about one day settling down when they’re ready……I’ll adopt a child when I’m ready both financially and mentally. For me I rather wait until I’m ready not some man who might never come. Plus my family has a million and one genetic issues and I’d feel bad having a biological child.
You should have secured a man in your 20s, every woman meets hundreds of men throughout their 20s that desperetly want them and that are good catches. You chose to ignore them all now that you are over 30 or even 40 the guys you want who are financially stable either have fun or get married to 20 year olds.
@@Rainer125 actually I have more prospects in my 30s because I have a good career, mentally stable and healthy. In my 20s they still wasted the time of my friends. Have friends still in their 20s and it’s the same. Dating these days is very unserious no matter the gender. At the end of the day you can always settle or not. If you can’t find what you want or need then settle or be alone. That’s life. Realistically many people marry their high school and college sweethearts where I’m from. Most people from high school got married.
@@cierraaaaaaaas thats a cope there is no woman on earth that has more high quality options in her 30s than in their 20s unless they lost 100lbs of weight or something. Every woman would marry a 6ft handsome millionaire that cares for them yet those guys obviously won't consider marrying a 30 year old. The guys you date are unserioius because they pump and dump because you only want the top 10% at best just like any woman. Also careers don't matter to men at all a millionaire will happily marry a 20 year old barista that makes 1000 dollars a month over a 30 year old woman making 6 figures in 999 out of 1000 cases. Every woman even a 300lbs 3/10 will get hundreds of matches on Tinder because so many men are desperate it means nothing, will they marry her? No. If men decide to get married they marry a woman in her 20s at least the men that every woman wants. You don't want a balding average looking 5'7ft dude that makes 30k a year so you won't get married.
@@canesugar911 Well I don´t know how she knows it really but I do not doubt it, she did told me the women were older and the boys usually have more problems than usual, get sick more often and etc
I froze my eggs at 36 and finally had children at 41. I couldn’t carry them on my own though. Egg freezing only buys you a few years. It also left me with a pelvic infection which resulted in 3 surgeries over 3 months, leaving me scarred, infertile and one less ovary at 36. Looking back, it’s hard to pinpoint which decision led me here. I spent too much time in bad relationships and getting over them. When there were good ones, I chose to relocate for better career opportunities. It takes 2-3 years to nurture a serious relationship. In hindsight, one can only do that many in her “prime”. It was stressful to continue risk breaking my heart and date in my mid and late thirties when men at the same age just didn’t share the same concerns. While I did pull it off, I’m considered the lucky few among my friends.
I'm honestly quite relieved that I was told at 16 that I'd probably never be able to get pregnant. I've seen my friends and colleagues over the years get into this frenzy, this panic of " if and when and how?? Natural, C-section, sperm donor, egg donor, freeze eggs, hormonal therapy". It was mind biggling to hear and there are SO many ads. I'm nearly 30 now and so are most of my friends and while some have calmed down, others really hear that clock ticking and I can't imagine how crazy that must drive women! As you said, you get sold hope but do some women really need it? Or is society deiving them into amxiety about having children?
Thank you for this video and for your honest perspective. In my 30s, many people were pressuring me to freeze my eggs. There was no thought given to what this would do to me, physically and emotionally, not to mention the cost. I never had it done, for religious reasons but also because I never liked the idea of injecting hormones into my body and I didn't have that kind of money at the time. I met my husband at 38 and just got married at 40. We're trying for a baby now and im at peace with the possibility of it not happening for us. It's great that there are more options for women now, but just because a reproductive technology is out there, it doesn't mean it'll be right for every woman.
@luanagarcia3119 no religious issues with freezing eggs or sperm separately. Issues arise when the eggs are turned into embryos as the belief is that life begins at Conception. The destruction or disposal of embryos is where the problem begins.
@luanagarcia3119 correct. This presents a moral/religious issue for those who belief life begins at conception (sperm fertilized the egg and a new DNA is created). Some denominations believe that infertility is a sign that biological procreation is outside of God's will for that particular married couple. Though this doesn't extend to adoption or fostering of orphans. Some religious believe the intentional creation of embryos (outside of the natural means of procreation) is morally wrong.
@luanagarcia3119 there are other moral/religious issues after that with regard to joining a husband's sperm with a donor egg, or a wife's egg with donor sperm. Some clinics are now combining three DNA strands of two women and a man into the embryo or two men and a woman into an embryo, which is deemed an abomination. This is because of the sanctity and unity of marriage being between 1 man and 1 woman according to Judeo-Christian scriptures. Another moral/religious issue is the business side of ivf. Paying people for their sperm or egg or to be a gestational carrier of the embryo. Hope this helps.
I think there's a huge problem in our society with relationships and friendships. No one cares about anyone else, no one wants commitment, people prioritise moving for work to their relationships and it's just part of the propaganda that modern media sell to us of being strong individualistic people that focus mainly on their careers and their personal growth. We all believed it, and are ending up isolated and depressed. I believed this too when I was younger, but at 22 I met an amazing man, and within a year or so my mind was changed. Nothing would be more important than my relationship with this person, no job, no opportunity, nothing. Nothing ever felt as fulfilling as feeling completely understood and loved by someone and loving them back in the same way. In the last years we've moved together and adopted a dog, and again, it gives me so much purpose. Having a small creature to take care of, which loves me, which needs me to guide her and to grow, it's the most fulfilling job I've ever had. I imagine actual maternity is an expanded version of what I feel with my dog. This doesn't mean that I would completely ditch my career, there's also playschools and later schools, grandparents etc. But I think that coming back to a loving family is the most fulfilling thing ever, and it should be prioritised over getting the best job, the highest pay or whatever promotion. My mother always prioritised her work over her family, and she ended up divorced and having huge relationship problems with me, her only child, now she doesn't want to get retired at 65, cause what is left otherwise? Unfortunately, days and life in general have a limited amount of time and you have to set priorities and choose, most people can't manage to have everything to the perfect level they would desire.
THIS RIGHT HERE. 👏 👏 👏. YOU ARE VERY WISE FOR YOUR AGE, YOUNG LADY. HOLD ON TO THAT MAN FOR AS LONG AS HE'S GOOD TO YOU. MARRY AND HAVE YOUR BABIES WHILE YOURE YOUNG & FERTILE
You should blame capitalism. People are focusing on their careers bcs they simply need to survive, a minimum wage isn't enough to live, imagine raising children then?? And let's not forget other big factor in this that is not new: sexism. Men feeling so entitled oh having a woman as a "personal sl4ve" that they don't work on personal development and are in general really bad partners (but nowadays women are demanding more, to have an equal partner)
@@MariaPaula-uw3ds depends on the country, here in Switzerland where I live you can survive quite well on a single income and people still don't have that many kids. Also minimum wages you can live with okay as a couple, and you can earn a good salary doing an apprenticeship which you finish with 18, maybe even better than after uni. I think it's more a change of mindset than of economic opportunities, although in some countries, like my native Spain, it's just very hard to have kids just because there's no money, whatever job you have. With men being bad partners, idk, some are for sure, but I think also many women are bad partners. Just in general it seems to me people have very superficial relationships, both sentimental and friendships, where they don't really care about each other. That said, I think all my partners except one where nicer to me than me to them, specially when I was young. None of them treated me as inferior, and they were mostly proud that I got better grades, could speak more languages, was very sportive etc... My current partner does so much for me, that I honestly don't know if I would have been able to do the same, in particular before I saw how much he was willing to sacrifice. Just choose men that treat you well from the beginning and in my experience it will stay like this most times, except if they're some narcissistic assholes as my father and one of my exes are, then they are quite good at pretending and then will show you their ugly face when they sense you're weak or they get bored. But not all men are narcissists or bad people.
@@espinoname2988 you should've just started off your comment with the fact that tou live in Switzerland. Congratulations for living in a lovely country but the rest of the world does not relate. It is exceedingly difficult to survive.
I have always been child free, even since I was a child myself. But in my late teens / early 20's I thought of selling my eggs as well. I found out that because I'm adopted, they don't accept eggs from adoptees. But I also like you, still thought about the process and wondered if I should do it for myself. Maybe even have them frozen and then let someone adopt the eggs. ultimately, I decided not to because of the health risks - esp the increased possibility of cancer. my adoptive Mom has had breast cancer on and off for 3 decades and it's been horrible seeing what she's had to go through all these years. thanks for making this video that talks about egg freezing issues that most people don't mention!
Thanks for sharing your story and reflections. It brought to mind a documentary I watched about surrogacy. One woman had frozen her eggs before undergoing chemotherapy. She was then going through attempting to have a baby through these eggs and a surrogate. In the end, sadly, it did not work, and they had used up all her previously frozen eggs. It was very sad to see her crying when they told her it had not been successful. Just a reminder that egg freezing is no guarantee of a baby, and if you can have a baby naturally, even if it's not the 'perfect' time, and want one, then you might want to consider it.
@@Apple-dk2xl I ended up doing it on my own. I've gotten lots of help from my mom; basically co-parenting. I feel like it would have been worth it, even if I never used them. The peace of mind of knowing that your options and choices are preserved is priceless IMO.
This isn't even something I'll ever do but I was very curious to see what you had to say :) thank you for sharing your experience for others to gain new perspectives on it. Hope you're doing well 💛
@@Joshy2-SF huh? not every comment has to do with the point of video? i think you're just triggered by my comment. the original comment shared that their cousin 42 yrs old married a 12 yr older dude. and i just said i hope she did not take the 54 yr old dude out of desperation and low self worth? is there anything wrong? why are u triggered?
Please also think about being parents so late. Im 35, My Mother died 10 years ago, my father is 90 too old to be an active father. I struggle feeling like an orphan.
@mothmos yeah and personally being a woman in her late 20s and having old parents kind sucks.my dad is in his late 70s and my mom is in her mid-60s.I don't think people consider the position that puts thier kids in.
I’m 37yo asian and keep my eggs frezzed 5 years ago. Recently, I realized my AMH test was dropped to 1.8 (normal women’s has >2.0).It also means my egg is reduced monthly. However, I’m still single and I’m happy to be single. I too old to change myself to fit any guy out there. And I don’t want to be single mom, who choice to delete my child’s dad from their life. I have to pay alot for keep my egg freeze for… I don’t even know for what. But, If I had a second choice, I still decided to keep freezing my egg. Because the world is so hard for women. If I losing giving birth ability, It means I would not be treated like a normal woman. I don’t want that feeling. And who knows, I would change my mind in future or my child’dad will appear soon!
@@Rayhuntter Have you looked at the News? Most victims of crimes are women and girl children. In some countries, being born a girl may be a death sentence ! I am a woman and I had to fight hard for things many men take for granted and I was fortunate to be born white, blonde, pretty and healthy ! I shudder to think how it would have been if I was born black, unattractive or sickly !
Study feminism so you can deconstruct this idea of not being able to conceive making you less of a woman! I say that with all my heart ❤ reading lots of comments on this video made me really grateful that I started to study feminism many years ago so now, close to being 30, I'm so at peace with things many women struggle with
You seem very self reflective. You need someone similar. Write 3 of the most important things you want in a partner. I can show the math of it but more than 5 items make the search impossible because you can’t hope to meet more than 3000 or so people
Hey again Buh! I feel like I now look for only one thing in a partner haha. Until this person (is he alive?!) shows up in my life, I'll enjoy living and produce more videos hehe
You shouldn't lower your standards just bcs you might not find anyone that matches them. What's more important, be in relationship or be with someone that truly loves and respects you and that is a good partner?
@@MariaPaula-uw3ds I agree for me it’s like this. Someone I find is more beautiful than 90% someone who is nicer than 90% and smarter than 90%. That’s one in thousand or so if I make it 80% it’s 1 in 100 almost
I just randomly stumbled upon your video, but wow....what a poignant, deep and honest sharing. So many young women need to hear this.... at least I hope they do. Thank you for putting this out there.
I am super happy I froze my eggs at 28 and at 40. My eggs from age 28 are no longer viable (old technology) so I did 2 more cycled at 40. This was after trying to adopt, foster to adopt, and years of dating. It was surprisingly easy to do and only wish I had done anothet cycle. It has been a few years but I have no regrets even if this doesn't work out. At least I will have tried!
A month before i turned 40, i broke up with my boyfriend. 4 months later, i saved 4 grade A eggs by themselves as I had no sperm to fertilize them with. The following month, I met my husband. 10 months later, we married. One miscarriage, 1 baby, who passed after only 1 week. The doctors don’t know what happened, and an autopsy has been ordered. I still have the 4 eggs waiting for me. I pay $800 annually to keep them frozen- paid 2 times so far and don’t know if they’ll be used because I don’t have issues getting pregnant, although I’m still without a child. I don’t regret saving my eggs even though I may never need them or they may not successfully give me a child, since they weren’t fertilized before being frozen. I didn’t lose muscle mass nor gain weight during the process. I spent only $13k in California in 2022. I went to HRC, Pasadena. I took a loan for the eggs but I still don’t regret it. Good luck to you all.❤
I did it because I had to go through chemotherapy, in my case it was a necessity i’m not sure if I’ll ever going to use it because I have other problems with conceiving, but it gaves me that sense of reassurance which I paid a lot to have it
i just turned 34 last month and i have my first appointment to discuss freezing my eggs in december. i have been pregnant 2 years ago, but i did not want to keep it, i was with my ex at the time, i am single now by my choice. the thing is, i do not want to have kids, but i want to freeze my eggs out of fear. i am not a child-free and i do allow the idea that in a future i might want to be a mother, even though i am 90% sure it wont happen: i dont like children, i dont see myself as a mother, i dont even have a partner and i do not see myself dating any time soon. but the idea of changing my mind in a future while it could be too late for me is scary. i would do it just for my peace of mind, while being well aware of the fact that i probably would never use those
Omg thank you! I need this sort of encouragement. I used to be in nyc. Terrible dating scene. I’m a single, driven, successful, and talented 35 yr old but I’m probably not going to freeze my eggs. Same as what you said. Would rather put this money into traveling and having fun. I recently went to OBGYN for check up and I was told to get an egg freezing consultation. I think there might be some incentive for doctors. After all fertility clinics are profit driven. 😅
Oh goodness. I don't think it's bad to focus on travel and such instead of a costly, time-consuming, and somewhat invasive process that may or may not give good results in the future. No disregard for anyone who does freeze their eggs, I promise. You could do a lot of traveling for $26,000. In fact, you could do a lot of just about anything more fun for $26,000. And potentially meet a husband to actually have the kids with instead...because you're out of NYC then. There are decent guys out there. I'm pretty sure they exist. The trick is finding them because actually the dating process is terrible everywhere else too.
My friend is so upset that her obgyn haven't mentioned egg freezing when she was in her early 30s, and now when she's over 40 can't conceive and doesn't have frozen eggs... So, maybe it's good that your doctor at least verbalized it's an option...
I'm 35 living in NYC and just got out of a toxic relationship with a narcissistic engineer. I feel your pain 😢 dating feels rough here, especially among educated and career driven women
Im considering it bc its free at my job and i'd hate for me to be older and regret not doing it. However, my goal is to conceive naturally regardless of having frozen eggs. Im in a dilemma
That's why you should freeze before the age of 25. At least 2 cycles. Chances are you've got plenty of good/normal eggs in each batch retrieved. Waiting until late 20s or early 30s is still risky. Many more abnormal eggs, and fewer each cycle.
2 cycles because some eggs will die when defrosted. 2 cycles helps compensate for that loss. And at this age, you bounce back/less impact on your health from the IVF drugs.
she talks about this, kinda at the end. that they have no idea how viable they are and there’s no guarantee that they will ever be viable. dice roll! expensive and super sad one if failed.
I'm going through your channel while eating trying to figure out why someone so beautiful, driven, and with a great career is having trouble dating. Don't give up!
Wish I would have done it in my 30's. I thought I'd meet mr right. Luckily, I have, but I'm 45 yrs old and it's the last year I can do it, if I'm going to do it. I'm just now looking into it. So glad for the RUclips docs explaining egg quality, but wished I'd have known how it worked sooner.
I attempted egg freezing twice when i was 35. All i have to say is NOTHING is guaranteed. Even having the eggs there for the future they may not take when one is ready for pregnancy. It is 100 percent a gamble like she mentioned. We as humans place so much pressure on ourselves. Remember we could also always adopt or not have children at all. We will be OKAY.
I mean why wouldn’t it be a gamble. This is a man made process, there is no guarantee that it effectively solves all your problems and you 100% will have a child. I’m struggling to understand why people bring that up like it already isn’t obvious. The other option- to not taking this gamble- is to not freeze your eggs at all and see your fertility chances when/if you are ready to be pregnant. Like women have all throughout history. Of course it’s a gamble, but the thing is, without it, you absolutely don’t have an extra chance at eggs in the future.
We as humans place so much pressure on *women. Ftfy. I don’t see men doing this, even though their sperm degrades at a rate 7x faster than women’s eggs, men would never even go through even half the pain…but we already know this since men all dropped out of male birth control trials when they experienced 1/2 of what women do on birth control for one week lol.
Please stop viewing adoption like this. It's not a plan B to biological children. It's an entirely separate thing. It's even more important to consider and get right, it's more nuanced, it's harder than raising your own biological children, because it requires you to have the knowledge and sense to respect this child's individual story, their origin, their greater family; it connects you to another family, it's a bigger thing. Adopted children don't pop into existence from a void; they have individual histories. Also, in many places, it just isn't possible to adopt children. It often isn't in the best interests of the child to be adopted by a non-relative. Adoption should always be about finding the best parenting solution for the child, *never* about prioritising fulfilling the parenting wishes of intended parents. If you want to help care for existing children who need care, become a foster parent (and research it well so you do a good job). Be that parent for a kid who needs it, *because they need it*, not to satisfy your own needs of 'having' children.
@@bevs9995 when I was given the info at the time of freezing mine, in 2019, the success rates were about equal. I think maybe they've improved the tech? Or maybe it matters how old you are at the time.
I think it’s too soon to jump into collusion here me age 42, I’m finally doing embryo transfer tomorrow with the eggs I froze at age 40. I regret not freezing my eggs sooner. If only gets harder…. And I did not meet my soulmate until age 42! And I could not get pregnant naturally either due to health issues like andenomyosis… I think you made the smart choice.
You give me hope. I am 40 and about to freeze my eggs. For me it’s like having a little more chance to conceive when I will meet the one. Even if it’s one percent chance more ilI take it. Sorry for my english, I am french speaking.
I am absolutely grateful to have seen this story. It is a difficult situation either way. Truly. None can ever truly know how much the journey alongside life will mark us finitely nor permanently. Thank You for sharing your time and Story. I’m glad to have stopped in and heard it. Very well done. Be Well ❤
You speak my language! I'm 39yrs turning 40 in another 7-8 months. I haven't even met the right one & don't know when I will. Not willing to settle for less just for the ticking clock. Really contemplating the risks of getting my eggs frozen now vs going natural. By God's grace, I have healthy menstrual cycle & lifestyle. On one side, I do desperately want to have a legacy for my genes, on the other hand I don't want to risk my health by freezing eggs, which at this age may or may not have success either. Should I just trust in God & be positive if God blesses me with babies naturally? If not, I'll adopt. My PCP will be referring me to the fertility clinic tomorrow. Any advice?
Hi! Hope you had a great weekend and congrats on the exciting milestone. Your determination not to settle and your contemplation of both the possibilities and the risks show a strong sense of self-awareness and a deep desire for what's best for your future. I think you already know the answer to your question :D Remember, there's no one-size-fits-all answer, and every path, including adoption, holds its own beauty and challenges. Keep faith in yourself and your choices, knowing that whatever the outcome, you're moving forward with love and intention. Wishing you strength as you navigate this part of your journey. 💖🍀
I went the other route: at 30ish, and after a decade-plus search trying to find a good match, I married someone not quite compatible. While having children was the best thing I've ever done, and I have no regrets, an unhappy relationship has taken a heavy toll. I made the right choice for me, and there is no one size fits all solution to this problem, but I think if you prioritize what is most important to you, you will make the right choice in the end without regrets. Sometimes life doesn't provide us with the ideal option, and that's one of the toughest predicaments in life.
Hey! I just did an egg freezing cycle myself. I'm 26 and I used to work at a fertility center coordinating egg freezing and ivf cycles. We see a lot of women who do IVF in their 40s who have successes and don't have successes. The earlier you freeze (just retrieving your eggs, not fertilizing) the better as successful pregnancy is determined by quality of eggs (not just how many eggs). Keep in mind, not all eggs you retrieve will be mature. Out of those mature eggs not all will survive fertilization so you end up with less embryos than eggs. However, I think it will help you IF you need to go the IVF route should you and a future partner need it to freeze your eggs. If you have the means I suggest doing it so you dont regret it. It can be rough but many bounce back after a few weeks. Constant injections can be rough, i was bloated for about 1-2 weeks after the retrieval but was fine after that. Most women dont regret it imo. let me know if you have questions! I also helped women who were looking into donor sperm options. If you're not partnered I would consider it. Tons of single women did it at our center.
I wish I could've afforded egg freezing at 30! I still can't afford it at 37 😅 There's nothing wrong with having high standards for a life partner. That's the person you'll be spending the next 50 years with! Better to be single than to be with the wrong person
Weird that youtube pushed this video to me but I learned something new. Didn't realize egg freezing has become so popular, I thought it's still science fiction or at most only the rich does it. I never wanted kids, it amazes me how women would go through so much and spend so much just to freeze their eggs, and so much worry goes into selecting the right person to have kids with.
It's fascinating how the algorithm works, right?? I'm glad you found this video informative. Egg freezing has indeed become more mainstream and accessible. I was watching a Netflix documentary on how much it cost back in the days (I mean it's not cheap now but it was definitely for the mega rich when it first started out). I find it incredible how far people will go to when it comes to planning for their future. Thanks for watching and sharing your thoughts! Cute cat by the way ;)
I agree with everything you said in this video. My reasons for not freezing eggs were very similar to what you said. Most important one was that success is not guaranteed. Success rates with egg freezing used to be 40-50% just decade back. These days they say it's 90%, I don't trust that.
My mom is pressuring me to have kid using surrogate since there's no way I'll want to get pregnant myself. I chose to be childfree 20+ years ago (I'm 44 now). She threatened not to give me inheritance if I don't want to do egg retrieval. My in-law is the same, if I don't produce biological kid, there'll be no inheritance for me. I was torn to give in to the idea, as long as I don't have to take care of the kids, but your video makes me realize that I can gain weight & that there're some other side effects. Thanks for making me realize that I don't need to sell my life for money.
Wow, I do not mean to be disrespectful but these are horrible families… how can the pressure you into something you do not want? That must be a cultural thing I assume…
Based on what you've written, you shouldn't have kids. Please don't. You cannot have kids with this type of mindset. It's not fair to them. It's OK to be child free. Enjoy.
Ask her to adopt a child on the sly or secretly sponsor a “surrogate” (already pregnant mother) whom you sponsor pretty much and you don’t do any harm by bringing someone you don’t want into the world, or even better bettering the life of somebody who was abandoned and had no hope of a family. wish you well be wise ♥️
I'm 31, and my partner and I have been pursuing embryo freezing as a mutual choice we made (it's like egg freezing but with the additional step of fertilizing the eggs and allowing them to grow a bit before freezing; statistically, it's supposed to have slightly better success rates when the time comes to use them, too). Unfortunately, during the process we found out that my partner has infertility. It's something we wouldn't have known otherwise, as we've always been very careful to use protection and avoid pregnancy. It hits different when it suddenly goes from a personal choice to a necessity. 😅 It's also caused the process to drag out for much much longer than we expected... I'm debating freezing my eggs in the meantime, as I'm not getting any younger while we try to solve my partner's side of the issue... But honestly, prior to considering this option, I had pretty much accepted the fact that it's possible I will never have children, and that's okay... It's really a complex issue. Why? Well, for one, we are in our 30s but still living in a one-bedroom apartment, both working full-time and barely making ends meet. I just wouldn't feel right adding a baby into our circumstances. It feels incredibly selfish to even consider it... But then, I found out about the egg/embryo freezing option as a benefit from my employer, so it gave me a glimmer of hope that maybe it's not yet completely off the table. Another reason was that both of our parents had us way too young (my mom was 18) and in much less than ideal circumstances. We don't really fully mature as humans until our mid-20s to 30s, and so as I was growing up into my teens my mum was only just maturing as an adult herself. I felt that in a lot of ways I was forced to grow up too fast because of our circumstances. We just don't want to pass on those same difficulties to yet another generation. It's not right. If I'm ever going to have a baby, I want to offer it a secure and hopeful upbringing unlike anything we experienced... So, that's our story. Haven't even gotten to start a cycle yet, but it may be on the horizon about 6 months away. We'll see how it all unfolds! Nothing is certain on this journey, that's for sure! 😅
@@bevs9995 Last I heard, with modern advances, it is something like 95% for embryos vs 90% for eggs (in terms of surviving the freezing process). Our doctor also underscored in her explanation that these days the difference is negligible, but we still chose the embryo route because, at least for us, 5% was still significant enough, and we wanted the best odds possible.
@@OkyLegacy just googled it. its 90% survive freezing, 70% fertilization, and 45% make it to develop into pregnancy and its almost 70% with embryos. (for pregnancy) yeah id go with embryo freezing too
Many women who freeze their eggs get breast cancer. It’s what I saw from the hospital because it affects your hormones and it is stressful on your body.
I might lose my last ovary. The urge to freeze my eggs is HIGH. But it seems just fear based. Thank you for sharing your regrets. You have saved me from a lot of heartache.
Ive read testimonials of women who had their period return after doing yoga, changing their diet, taking supplements, and after detoxing. Janet jackson had a baby boy at 50. Even if you speak with nurses, women giving birth after 50 isnt ultra rare. Seems the health of the body is more important to fertility than more people realize
@meln4214 you maybe right. But I wouldn't be surprised. Many times in science, we've said stuff like "the brain doesn't grow new neurons after age xx, limbs can't be regrown, spinal cord injury is permanent, etc..." but there are always exceptions. There are documented cases of kids regrowing a new thumb. The body is more plastic an amazing then we probably are aware.
Wow. I had egg freezing in my mind recently but not seriously as I am not in the emotional space right now. I loved your video, it's so informative so i will share it. Please ignore the nasty woman blaming comments. I understand just how hard dating is when you are waiting until marriage.
I think freezing eggs makes total biological sense; I froze mine twice (had 2 cycles) when i was 32 yo, now I'm 36; last 4 years were as stressful as it gets, I'm glad I do not need to freak myself out about the quality of my eggs. Now, I might use in couple years; huge problem is the cost of the procedure in the USA, it's 10k+ per cycle; I did it twice in Barcelona for 5k and it included 4 years of storage of each batch, so 1 cycle + 4 years of storage was only 2500, which is very accessible in my opinion.
@pirata-xw4on even with the Dr that is on the list of known Drs that will do a tubal ligation on younger women she was laughed out of the office. With her health she really shouldn’t have biological children if she wanted them or at least never get pregnant if she was desperate for kids but she doesn’t want them so I wish she could get sterilized. I understand Drs are covering their butt against things like lawsuits but she does need it.
By your logic, people who make 1 or 2 kids are evolutionary dead-end two, since they don't actually reproduce (2 kids only cover their parents mortality, with 1 you as good as a single person with no kids)
it sounds like you had a successful first ER!! The number of eggs frozen can really vary from person to person due to so many factors, so it's important to remember that everyone's journey is unique. The most important thing is that you're taking steps that feel right for you and your future. I didn't share my number because I wanted everyone to treat their experience as is. Wishing you all the best on your journey!
Wow, I did it recently in my country (Spain), but it "only" costed me 3.500 €. I share a lot of emotions with you. I also gained some weight and my menstrual cycles got messed up some months. Now I am 37 and egg freezing at least made me realise I want for sure to be a mum and that I am strong to go through the process again, so I will do a IVF cycle with a donor to become a single mum
My fear of freezing my eggs, is there will be a mix up. Someone accidentally gets mine, uses genetic material I didn't consent to fertilizing them. I also fear someone raising my genetic child because my eggs are implanted and having no legal rights to to raise the child. Laws haven't kept up with technology.
I love your video and I totally agree what you said and explaining why you regret it.And I even watch twice especially the end of your video it’s really a good advice and thought for all the women..❤❤❤Your the best
My problem is i have really bad anxiety that kept me from dating and forming any type of relationship. I just turned 29 and i have been thinking of my fertility lately, my parents have been telling to get married and have children for 4 years now but the idea of having sex really scares me and disgusting to me, some days i want a kid because i am afraid i will regeret it when it is too late 🙃 and other days i don't. I just want have a kid and get it over with, but i have to start socializing first, and that is the hard part. I can close my eyes and just do it, but it is the social aspect of meeting people that i am having a hard time with. So i have been thinking about freezing my eggs
I hope you will find your answers maybe try to socialize a little bit first going to activities etc first short time things and then built from there and see how it goes and maybe trying therapy meanwhile if you can it may help 💖
If you do want kids, you don't have to have sex to do it - there's a few people I've heard of who conceived through going to a fertility clinic and getting IUI. But some countries won't let single women access this (so research what the rules are in your own country and consider going abroad for treatment if not).
Thank you for sharing! 30 and married but very very undecided and I'm so scared that I'll want kids one day and it'll be too late. I loved your quote, not insurance, it's like a stock
Thank you so kindly for sharing your story. Egg quality can’t be tested, embryos can ☺️ you are so lovely, intelligent, successful and beautiful. We hope you find Mr Right very soon ☺️
Hi there! Thank you so much @all4yoojin for sharing your experience!! ❤ I'm a 36yo woman, and a virgin. No disrespect to anyone at all; do what's best for you. For myself, I will not do this because I am believing God for the husband and children, if I am meant to have them. I do not wish to force anything or do anything out of fear. I am resolved to let Jesus get all the glory for my life and purpose whichever way they were planned.
am 33 rite now I went into the same thought of freezing my eggs and spoke to my close friend she is the only one i trust with this private matters. She was very supportive in my plan. But then she also explained the cost and insurances which is very expensive, i come from an abusive family. I live alone and also same as you i dont have much dating history or find guys so easily who are in me. Most of the time its married men tht want an affair which i totally an disgusted an i would never do. Also i don't go with sex before marriage am a virgin. So thought of freezing my eggs, since am not financially strong an just stepping up in life after escaping an abusive father and mother. I have just started my life, since there is no guarantee tht i would find a partner i dropped the plan of freezing eggs. Maybe once i acquire enough money and still single would adopt or if i find someone who loves me by gods grace i hope to conceive naturally or will go for adoption. Also i don't have great body either am a little chubby ... So waiting for future to unfold
@@Ayverie4yet when a person's lifelong dream is something else and they don't manage to achieve it, then people say "don't worry, you can be happy doing other things in life", but when it comes to kids they say "oh no, I am so sorry you are so unhappy and your life is meaningless now". Do you think that such a reaction helps anyone?
I kind of had to freeze my eggs at 27 because I had a stem cell transplant. They told me i had to wait a couple if years until I can start thinking about kids. But if I didn't have to go through all of that I don't think I would have done it.
I'm currently in my early twenties and I've never really wanted to have a child, so I thought it would be a good idea to freeze my eggs, but I don't know. I thinks I'd go for adoption if I ever change my mind.
Just be careful with adoption. Adoption is a complex issue, with both ethical and unethical aspects to consider. This doesn't mean you shouldn't adopt if you want to, but it's important to think deeply about how the child might feel about not knowing their heritage or original family. It's not as simple as it may seem. If you're in a good place personally and want to have a child, it's something you won't regret. Don't overthink or overconsume what society and people tell you. Follow your heart and take care of yourself ❤
@@كارولين-م9ب I’m no expert in this field, but one example of an unethical practice is the way that some of these services go about their methods regarding adoption. Sometimes the people who give up their children are in a vulnerable state and the companies in charge may be more focused towards the profits involved rather than helping the families in these particular situations. This has been known to happen in Africa (for example) where the people adopting have no idea that this is going on behind the scenes. This doesn't happen in all adoption centres, of course. However, it is worth doing some research on. And making sure that the company you potentially work with does their due diligence.
@@كارولين-م9ب it's best to research online to form your analysis. I'd suggest taking a brief moment to look at the examples around you as well (whether it be from your own life or the public eye) and just observe. Including the methods that companies had to use to make this a profiting service, unknown to the parents who do adopt. Something to ponder.
@stacyjang Thanks for the advice, I'll be aware of that. Although it's not a profitable activity in my country (not the USA). And I've never heard of anything unethical happening to the kids.
![Felix "Unfair" | [Stray Kids : SKZ-PLAYER]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/Oswujxm2Ag0/mqdefault.jpg)
To those who have gone through egg freezing, is currently considering, or decided not to, I along with others would love to hear from you! What was going through your heart and mind as you thought about this? Please share as your comments not only help me but other women too!
@ClaudiaM-om4em How the heck did you assume she's looking for advice?
@@all4yoojin I always thought I was super fertile but life happens. People tell me, oh you’re so young, it will happen one day and it’s very sweet of them but some things are out of your control no matter how hard you try.
I'm 29, turning 30 this December. I have a job, but still think I either didn't get my shit togetger to be in the relationship, or didn't find anyone to like me and be my partner, and not my baby/parent. I'm afraid I won't find anyone in the next 10 years, this is why I'm considering it, so you video is spot on.
@ClaudiaM-om4em I think she looks great and seems like an awesome person but it doesn't hurt to "Market yourself" as my Dad calls it.😂
@ClaudiaM-om4em I disagree with that. She looks great and seems really intelligent. I'm sure there's someone out there for her and that man will find him without her following your advice.
as a gym freak I thought am in a grave danger for refrigerating my boiled eggs ....and few minutes into the video I realized this not about "the eggs".🙃
Lolol wrong video😂
I thought it's a skit video about she got poisoned because consuming eggs from the fridge 😂
Not a gym freak nor a gym person at all, but I would agree that there needs to be a lil more detail than just "frozen eggs", lol.
🤣🤣🤣
Hahaha 😂 your comment made me chuckle. Your boiled eggs are safe!! Stay healthy and have a great weekend
I froze my eggs at 36. It had no impact on me. No fat gain, no infection, no pain, nothing. I am now 39 and pregnant naturally. I don't regret at all. It give me a piece of mind. That I had a plan b, if.my plan a would fail. I also live in Canada and only paid 4000 $ cad.
I am a little shocked that she mentioned how much she paid. Many large companies cover it. My company covers IVF entirely in the US beyond regular medical benefits.
@@Greatmount not every company pays, even major one. And beyond that there are conditions to cover IVF.
I hope you are ok. The truth is women can develop problems way after the IVF, we just don't know to what degree because there's no consistent data about it. Again, I hope you are all well
It sounds like you were/are super fertile and healthy which is obviously the opposite problem of what most women going through the process are so…?? And 90% of them will be paying a lot. Outlier on all accounts.
@4651adri do you mean women who gave birth through ivf are still at risks?
Thank you for telling your experience. In my case, I would have loved to be a mother at 30. But when I reached 35 and still couldn't find the right person, I preferred to freeze my oocytes because I began to feel like I was in a race against time. Now at 37 I do feel like I found the right person and we will surely start trying soon. In my family there are many cases of infertility and I know it can break your heart, if I try and fail at least I will rest assured that I did everything I could within my power, I have no regrets.
The problem is that you believe that Hollywood BS that there is a "right person" there is no right person we all are full of flaws...ones should lower his standards and settles when the minimum requirements are there....
@@mizoyarol9873 you’re missing the point, because there are definitely wrong person lol so a person is wrong if they are not the right person. No one said they need to be this Mr.Perfect, but just the minimal good, which has proven to be difficult to come by.
@@mizoyarol9873 On the contrary, if you do not want to have a child alone, it is necessary to find the right father for your future child. I had many relationships with men who appeared and disappeared. I even think I had very low standards because I was always with men who didn't value me. I met my fiance 3 years ago, he is an emotionally mature, stable man who knows what he wants, with him I feel safe having a child, we are going to get married in November. Exactly what Hollywood sells you are toxic relationships, what we have is love, friendship and companionship. I love him and dream of making our family. Never lower your standards!
On the contrary, if you do not want to have a child alone, it is necessary to find the right father for your future child. I had many relationships with men who were not reliable o didnt want to have kids, its not easy. I even think I had very low standards because I was always with men who didn't value me. I met my fiance 3 years ago, he is an emotionally mature, stable man who knows what he wants, with him I feel safe having a child, we are going to get married in November. What Hollywood sells you are toxic relationships, what we have is love, friendship and companionship. Never lower your standards!
As someone who became a mother at 27 (I'm now 29)- I can say that having children later in life is more difficult because of the lack of energy, among other things.
My father had my 3-year old brother at 51 and when my brother is 18 my father will be 70. My brother is half-Japanese so I expect that he will fall in-line with Japanese culture (they all live there) and he will have to care for my elderly father the moment he becomes old enough to live his life. A selfish choice. And the wife had my brother at 38 and she struggles to keep up with such an energetic child.
I wanted to start a family at 15. I still wish I had the opportunity to do so.
It sucks being an older mom.
I went through my 20s being sure I was going to freeze my eggs and become a mother as late as biologically possible. I’m going to turn 30 next year, just quit my high paying corporate job to make a transatlantic move to study something creative, and now I don’t want to freeze my eggs anymore.
I realized my desire to freeze my eggs came from fear. I didn’t trust that my future partner could be reliable so I wanted to grow my assets as big as possible before getting kids. I somehow had this thought that I had to have it all figured out before becoming a mom, and I guess it was because I didn’t trust in my ability to deal with situations that arises after giving birth one step at a time, which essentially is how life always has been and always will be. This fear also pressured me to prioritize survival and wealth accumulation (which I wasn’t even good at lol) rather than choosing a career path that I felt truly happy with.
Now I let go of a lot of these fear and am much happier. Sure, I may or may not be able to conceive naturally in the future. While I would still love to have children, I now just decided that if it happens, great, and if not, I’ll still find a way to be happy and be a great aunt. But I realized that stressing over the future is what would drive my egg quality down early on anyways, and the best thing I could do for myself and my future family is to enjoy my present life and take a pristine care of my physical, mental and spiritual health right here right now.
Thank you so much for your refreshing thoughts, Yoojin. Much appreciated.
This.
Some of us go the opposite of "care free" and get anxious about the future.
We can only count our blessings and live and love authentically at the moment 😊 (is not always a romantic partner but something that gives our lives meaning like friends or family)
I honestly related so much to this. I have been down the exact same path & am just now trying to live one day at a time & not fret about having everything "together" before entering the next chapter of life (marriage, family, etc.) Wishing you all the best on your journey
Quality of eggs lowers with age, not by stressing about future. I am a man in his late thirties going through surrogacy and our agency only offered egg donors in their early twenties which is correct way because their eggs are most healthy. A surrogate can be over thirty but the genetic material is crucial for successful process. It's a cold fact unfortunately.. I wish everyone success and happiness.
@leoprg5330 it's totally correct to say that egg (and sperm) quality decline with age, but the rate of decline is dependent on many factors, one of which *could be* stress.
Hoping on a successful surrogacy journey for you
Your comment is like you were reading my mind, that’s exactly how I feel thank you so so so much for your perfect articulated comment 💖💖💖
"Just because it's there doesn't mean we have to do it." Thank you for that voice, often missing in our hyper-rapid FOMO world. Wishing you all the best and thank you for this insightful video.
I froze my eggs at 36 and finally had children at 41. I couldn’t carry them on my own though. Egg freezing only buys you a few years. It also left me with a pelvic infection which resulted in 3 surgeries over 3 months, leaving me scarred, infertile and one less ovary at 36.
Looking back, it’s hard to pinpoint which decision led me here. I spent too much time in bad relationships and getting over them. When there were good ones, I chose to relocate for better career opportunities. It takes 2-3 years to nurture a serious relationship. In hindsight, one can only do that many in her “prime”. It was stressful to continue risk breaking my heart and date in my mid and late thirties when men at the same age just didn’t share the same concerns. While I did pull it off, I’m considered the lucky few among my friends.
I’m really happy and grateful to have my family now. I just wish I could enjoy that sooner. All those travels I had and the papers I publish, they don’t compare at all.
Wow seriously 2-3 years🤣my great grandparents met one day on the factory and were married within a week. Had 4 children, survived WWI, WWII and lived together until their death. There is huge mental problem with modern generation 🙄
@@hardshell9236 your folks were raised in a completely different world, can't be compared with the times today, their homes were $50 also lol
@@hardshell9236 Seems like whatever generation you're from lacks empathy and decorum. Not everyone wants to decide to get married and have kids within a week of meeting, and it's not sound advice to tell people to do so either.
Hey, I am so happy for you that you have a family now. I agree with you, I also made expensive decisions that affected my health and I also wish I had met my husband earlier and not at 39.
I can so much relate to you. Facing the same career path and now I’m a stay at home mom. Truly grateful I finally have my own kid.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
Although I’m a guy I’ve also been in a similar mindset. I’m worried about dating, work and family, and how to juggle it all. I’m very aware of the “clock” that we’re all on, my ex-girlfriend was 33 when we broke up and our parents are getting older too. I had briefly discussed egg freezing, she dismissed it in the end. Nothing to do with breaking up, things just didn’t work out. And just like you said, fertility treatments are like a stock, nothing is guaranteed.
I’m turning 40 in 10 days. I hope I’ll be a good husband to my future wife, a good father to my future children. At least I can continue to try to be a good son and take care of my parents.
Surprising how many people go through the same struggles, but still it doesn't help and dating is so hard. Probably now the world is more individualistic, people communicate less.
I'm a woman of 38, I broke up with my bf couple of years ago because he didn't want to have children. And now I'm single, still no children 😅
Welp, u guys are a match then! 😆
Happy birthday and like the previous person commented you too might be an option for one another. All the best !!!
🔥🔥🔥🔥
@@ЕкатеринаЖарова-л3ю Sperm donor?
Hi Yoojin, I decided against egg freezing in 2022 when I was made aware of the fertility funnel. I realized in that moment that the best decision for me was to stop wanting to control everything. Freezing my eggs was ''pointless'' if it did not give me a guarantee of a child in the future. As a single and child free 35yo woman, I am still happy with my choice to not do it. I focus now on other things in life, like learning Mandarin and use my free time for my love of art.
If you decide to have a kid in the future, you can adopt, remember that
Agreed. Unless it’s a 100% chance that it will be successful, it’s just not worth it for me personally
I am 34 and I froze mine 6 months ago. You are the first person I have heard say that they regret it, quite surprising. I had no weight gain, just bloating for about 7-10 days. I had no issues with muscle loss etc, I have a friend who done it one year ago. She also has no regrets or had issues with weight gain. The only hard time I had was taking the pill for a week. It didn’t make me feel good and it makes you bleed, and then your period comes straight after you stop taking it so I felt like I was bleeding for forever. Otherwise everything was fine.
Hey! Happy to hear that your egg freezing journey went well. Maybe I overate thinking that I should treat myself during the period hahaha. Sorry to hear the bleeding was rough though… I think the side effects hit differently for everyone. It’s been 3 years since freezing my eggs and my feelings toward the experience haven’t changed much. Probably won’t do it again😂
My bestfriend had her eggs frozen at 30 and afterwards struggled with weight issues for a while
Omg that sounds bad. I'm 35 and pondering freezing but dunno, it's an expense and I'm not sure I even want kids. I'm just thinking maybe at some point within the next 15 years I might change my mind
I just think some people need to weigh up what’s more important to them, potentially gaining weight or having the option to have children for the future. I know what I would pick, even if I am not sure I want children. If I have the privilege of being able to afford it I wouldn’t miss this chance, and I will never regret this. My sister will do egg freezing next month.
@@NightinGal89I am 35 too, single with no prospects, wondering if I want more kids ( got one when I was 19, not sure if I want to do the journey again), in that case I need to freeze the eggs. Very confused about this subject. Of recent I have started to believe that I dont know how to date, and am not motivated to go on dates like I used when I was 32 yrs and below, I feel exhausted about dating. Sometimes I wonder if I will regret not putting enough effort to get a partner.
I don't regret it. I had it done in 1998, 2 cycles, when I was 35. With the technology of the time, they had to be fertilized 1st. It was not something I had ever heard of anyone doing before, and it certainly wasn't being advertised. I just knew that I wanted to preserve my reproductive options. Money wasn't an issue, as I had recently gotten a substantial inheritance.
This wasn't about pursuing a career. More about getting my head together.
In any event, it was successful on the 1st try, and I now have 15 year old twins.
In general I think it's a good idea to keep your options open if you're in a position to do so.
Wow, that's so interesting that they had to be fertilized first! Did you use a sperm donor for that?
@h-di4qd They didn't have the technology to freeze unfertilized eggs effectively until some years later, so yeah, I used donor sperm from California Cryobank.
There have been a lot of changes in the technology and protocols in the last 26 years. I'm happy to answer any questions.😁
so your kids are technically chronologically 26 then?
@aaa-my5xy Well, they were conceived in Nov of 1998 (my 2nd cycle) so a little less than 26 years ago, and that's conception without adding in gestation, so something between 24 and 25?
Anyway, I've heard of I've heard of children being born from donor embryos who were actually conceived before their parents were.
Kind of strange to contemplate.
@@crunchyfrog63 woah, science is crazy!! thank you for sharing your experience! congratulations on your twins
I have relatives who froze their eggs. One of them got married at age 45 and had a child from that frozen batch at age 47. It worked well for her.
Do you know how old was she when she froze them?
You’re certainly inspiring. I came for the business school admissions tips and stayed because of your personality. Interesting how we have very different views about something, but I still can seat trough your whole talk. Good luck with the freezing! And hope NYC is treating you well 🙂
Aww thank you kindly, tay! This video was the one I was most nervous about posting and I appreciate your open mind. Best of luck with your business school application!! 🙏
@@all4yoojin I bet it was nerve wrecking. Nevertheless you did an awesome job 👏 you’re a great story teller, will keep learning from you for my future videos. Thanks 🙏 Don’t want to go back to PKU Guanghua so my targets better accept me haha
Thank you for this video and sharing your experience 🤗❤️ I had this thought torturing me throughout my entire late 30s, whether to go through this process or not. I was single and in therapy recovering from toxic relationships and situations. In the end I realised that it was a fear based decision. I knew I was perfectly healthy and I trusted my body and my life path. Now I’m almost 42, and got pregnant naturally 2 months ago after our 1st try. 🙏🏼❤️ I’m so glad it happened now, because I prefer the version of my present self much more than the one of 5-10 years ago. And I honestly don’t care what society thinks because everyone’s story is very unique. To me, staying physically, mentally and spiritually healthy is what’s most important ❤️ Much love and blessings xoxo
🎉
I'm 34 and I never considered freezing my eggs. I think I only wanted to be a mom when I was a kid, and that feeling only diminished over the years. I also have no patience for dating anymore. I'm actually more at peace being single than when I dated. And I really like my life the way it is.
I love that. It’s about following your intuition and seeing what truly fulfills you and what doesn’t.
I think most people do things to follow the crowd or think that’s what is expected of them. And then later on, secretly resent the situation they are in or don’t feel fulfilled in life.
If you follow your own heart, there is no way you won’t find contentness and peace.
Hard relate
same, being a mom i feel is such a shallow desire that wouldn’t actually improve my life
@@m4ttaseeing as raising a kid costs roughly as much as a mid-size yacht, imposes a couple years' worth of sleep deprivation, ages your body and depletes the brain, it's hard to blame you. Parents actually lose high single digits IQ points (that may be related to stress and sleep but anyway).
Becoming a mom (and to an extent, a responsible, invested dad) isn't to improve their life, it's to have life continue. It's like with jury duty: if all the smart folks with productive things to do with their time, get out of jury duty, we'll be judged by morons with nothing better to do - and over time the judicial system will get more & more skewed away from fairness & common sense - which is what we're witnessing.
I wanted to be a mom so bad that all I've ever been wanted!
And sadly let someone who thinks women have just as long as men do for fertility when we don't.
Wait to long it won't happen.
you have such an amazing way of expressing ideas, very engaging, thank you!
Thank you, Mr. Mellow! I appreciate you being open-minded and listening🙌
when i struggled with dating, i found advice i still find useful: instead of focusing on finding that one, i focused on personifying and becoming that person i dream of as the one. taking my heart off the search reduced that pressure immensely and gave me breathing space. also, from anecdotes, do things you like, that person will find you when you least expect it.
Horrible advice I say as I slowly but unavoidably turn into a goatee-bearing Taoist priest I really wanted to date when I was a teen.
so honest!my best friend froze her eggs in here 30's too.she gave birth to a kid at 40 so now she has some spare eggs.when you share about the body changes,So Real.really grateful this option is available for ppl before they start chemo.May you stay healthy! enjoying your channel.
I totally get why you did it. When I was 29, my biological clock was screaming at me so loud that even though we weren’t in the best financial position with my partner, we had our 2 children in quick succession, I was 30 and 31 when they were born, my now husband a couple of years older.
Yes it was more difficult financially than if we waited longer.. but no regrets because children need so much energy, it’s not just the question of being fertile, but can you be an active parent and take part in their childhood without struggling due to your age.
I'm glad you had your children, may they always bring you joy. Can u please explain what u mean by "my biological clock was screaming at me"?
@@SaraGasmi-tr4so the way I felt that my biological clock was screaming at me was that I was very aware that I’m running out of time at close to 30, so if I wanted multiple healthy children, I have to hurry up and have them ASAP. I also didn’t want to have them as an older mother, because even if conception isn’t a problem, pregnancy complications are more common as someone ages.
Glad to hear you feel that you made the right choice. The biological clock is real. I never got the feeling of " my body clock screaming" but I remember vividly the strong desire to hug every cute babies I saw.... I dis know I was 4 weeks pregnant already. We can't stop that instinct.
29 is still so very young. As society has done a number on women.
@@SaraGasmi-tr4so i can explain it also. Mine was screaming at me at the ripe young age of 22. It was a desperate innate, internal, animalistic desire to have and raise children. The only thing i can compare it to is being hungry and desperate for food. It was some kind of deep and instinctual need.
This why i started eagerly dating from 34. Dating market is harsh!! Took meeting alot of people to find my guy at 37, and now we are trying to have a baby. Don't put off dating for later, it's important process of self discovery and getting the mr. Right!
This is incredibly insightful. Thank you for taking the time to revisit and reflect on your decisions and sharing them. Oftentimes we see people going through with it because that’s what society is selling at the moment without really thinking about what are we buying?
My IVF journey started when l was 35 as a single woman with donor sperm. I had 6 failed blastocyst implantation cycles. l had my 2 children by IVF at ages 37, my 7th cycle and 39, my 8th cycle.
A woman's fertility naturally drops markedly by 30 years of age, significantly drops from 35 and thereafter to less than 1% by age 40.
If you're worried about gaining weight before pregnancy, you'll find pregnancy quite challenging.
There isn't a guarantee that an egg will fertilise and grow into a blastocyst (5 days post fertlisation). There isn't a guarantee that the implanted blastocyst will stick to the uterine wall.
There isn't a guarantee that you won't miscarry.
Freezing eggs is a gamble. IVF is a gamble.
Parenthood is a gamble.
Not exactly true. Women at 45 have a 3% chance of conception but 90% of eggs are abnormal.
@@AimeeMarsh-m5y Even if 3% chance of conception at 45, that's 97% chance of not conceiving per month. Odds are stacked against conception and a healthy baby.
Freezing eggs is just one component of IVF. Current statistics are:
Women's age and IVF
It's a common misconception that IVF treatment can overcome the effects of age on fertility. A woman's age also affects the chance of success with IVF. In Australia, the chance of a live birth from one complete IVF cycle (which includes all fresh and frozen-thawed embryo transfers following one ovarian stimulation) is about:
43% for women aged 30 to 34 years
31% for women aged 35 to 39 years
11% for women aged 40 to 44 years.
Life without kids is much better. Why torture yourself for such a questionable "prize"?
@@KateeAngel lf you don't want kids, don't have them. Not everyone is suited to the lifestyle and sacrifice.
I always knew that l wanted to be a parent even from young adulthood.
Be true to yourself.
God! How did you survive that many cycles. I tried 3 cycles without success and quit.
39 here. I only thought about freezing my eggs a few years ago but then decided it wasn’t worth all the trouble, considering there’s no guarantee that it will work anyway. I just simply couldn’t find the love I want, the right person to build a family with, so I’m better off without kids. I never want to be a single parent. Also, if it’s meant to be, if I happen to meet someone, get married within a couple of years, I might still conceive naturally. Some women have a baby after their 50, it happens all the time. And if it never happens, so be it. I can’t control everything. And I don’t need to.
Remember adoption exists
As a 35 years old I really want to freeze my eggs but I think I will never use them if I don’t have husband anyway.
Same. Single, I’m in my 30s and yeah I won’t be freezing anything or getting married any time soon.
Don’t freeze them. It’s not a risk free procedure. Look upthread! It can even cause the loss of ovaries
If you find someone later and can’t have kids…just adopt. A lot of kids need to find parents but no one takes them in.
Actually even if you don’t find a partner, you can adopt and raise them as a single parent.
@@blueshoes5145My mom wanted to adopt but they want 2 parent home (she was married so no issue there) and she was too old for it (almost 50). She had place and money but it was not enough.
@@blueshoes5145You are very right, adopting is wonderful, the bad thing is that, at least in my country, it is super difficult, the authorities ask for a lot of procedures and requirements; almost no one achieves it.
Im 34 and the reality is I can’t afford to freeze eggs even if I wanted to. It’s a luxury. Maybe I can adopt one day even though my husband and I want a kid of our own so much. The universe said no. Even if I could afford it, my body can’t handle being pregnant. I can imagine it’d be a high risk pregnancy. Some things you just can’t have no matter how much you yearn for it.
You can get it done in countries where it is less expensive like Mexico or Spain
You're not alone. I'm 38 and in a similar boat as you. There might still be hope. I decided to focus on my health (the one thing I can control that does make a difference) and trust that what is meant to be will be. Adoption is also a truly beautiful thing. The joy and precious gift of motherhood is not dependent on having your own biological children, but if there's a slight possibility for you to have biological children, I'd say go for it. Just be cautiously optimistic.
The “Universe” said No? Try praying to God the Father and Holy Mary!
@@FoundSheep-AN you guys can’t even get your deities straight. Also I prayed for over a a decade as a child to till my adulthood for god to free me from my abusive stepfather. I was 9 and left church at 20. You’d think he’d have mercy on a child but nope, I got that nice childhood trauma instead.
Save your bible thumping for another. I’ve prayed enough.
@@K.L.- yeah don't listen to the that other person, they're just trolling atp
amazingly done video thank you so much! doing my 2nd ER this summer
yayy!! best of luck
It depends on how badly you want a biological child and if you're willing to take steps to increase those chances. I was super healthy and had my first child naturally and easily at 40. However, it was super hard to conceive after 40 (for me, it varies for everyone). I looked and felt like I was in my 30s, but your egg quantity and quality will drop regardless of how young and healthy you look. At 41, I saw an infertility doctor who said the cut off for IVF with my insurance was 42. With the wait list, I would be 42 before I could receive treatment and was therefore ineligible. I spent two years trying different options, IUI, acupuncture, supplements that might improve egg quality, suffered a miscarriage... Eventually, I got pregnant naturally and gave birth to a healthy baby at 44.
I had considered egg freezing but felt like I was so healthy, I didn't need it. Just know that your eggs will decline with age despite how healthy you are, and the longer you wait, the harder it will be. If having kids is a priority, then egg freezing while you have healthy eggs might be a good option.
Also know that Western medicine (IVF, IUI) can help with egg quantity but not egg quality. There are supplements that have pretty strong research showing they do improve egg quality (CoQ10, NAD+). If you're in my boat where you waited too long to have kids, I highly suggest seeing a TCM/ acupuncturist who specializes in fertility (you can find a practitioner on ABORM). I really feel like it helped me conceive naturally against all odds at 44. Just my two cents.
And let's remember adoption exists ❤
Thank you for sharing your experience! I am recently married, and 33 years old. The thought of having a child at this stage makes me feel scared because there is so much I want to do before having children. But at the same time, I have the fear that as I age, I may go through the pain that my friends went through, struggling to bear children.
I am feeling the same! I feel like a few years of our "do what you want!" years were robbed due to the pandemic and now we are at the age to have kids.
I'm taking notes from relatives a few steps ahead of us to build a support system that will help us do some of the things we wanted to do pre-kids, even after we have kids, if blessed.
Life doesn't have to stop when you have kids! Please don't wait if you don't need to.
I wish I had a child earlier so I don't have the physical challenges that I do today. I get tired very easily and now I have one, but wish I didn't have pain and exhaustion when playing and taking care of my child. And if I had her earlier, then she would be older today so I can travel with her to farther places.
33 years old me is already struggling with fertility 😂 dont wait any further
You will always feel like you're not ready, but when you do have them it just feels right. At least for me that was the case.
As a woman over 40 I regret putting other things first than creating a family and having children.
thanks for sharing your thoughts
Why is that? And what did you prioritise over starting a family? Asking as a girl in her 20s😭
@@yourbestie702 I was trying to show the world I was an independent woman. Unfortunately this type of mentality sometimes gets you involved in bad relationships (men that don't want any commitment) also I assumed I was super fertil and I took contraceptive pills which masked endometriosis symptoms. When I finally got married with a great man didn't know I had endometriosis. It took a few years to get diagnosed... too late 😪..
@@yourbestie702 it seems YT deleted my reply. I was trying to show the world I was an independent woman. I assumed I was super fertil and birth control masked endometriosis symptoms which I found out too late.
Sorry to hear that. I want to point out that many single women in their 30s have been searching but just not found the right person. There's a common social misconception that if a woman has reached 30ish unattached, she's been putting other things first before having a family. In my case I spent my entire 20s trying to find someone, knowing I wanted a family. It's a mixed bag and I just wanted to remind wider audiences of this -- women cannot make a husband and children appear in their 20s just because they want to.
I'm still single at 40 and tired of meeting men who don't even bother wearing proper clothes for a first date.
It's been years of time consuming energy trying to meet people who don't even show up sometimes. The world is just lame right now.
I’m 31 and I feel much of the same. For some reason men just are not serious. I’ve seen many waste the time of my friends and family members even when they know the goal is marriage. I strongly believe you know if you like someone and want to spend time getting to know them early on. I have met men in their 50s talking about one day settling down when they’re ready……I’ll adopt a child when I’m ready both financially and mentally. For me I rather wait until I’m ready not some man who might never come. Plus my family has a million and one genetic issues and I’d feel bad having a biological child.
Maybe come to eastern Europe. I left the west, because dating was fck up there. West is great if you like to be promiscuous
You should have secured a man in your 20s, every woman meets hundreds of men throughout their 20s that desperetly want them and that are good catches. You chose to ignore them all now that you are over 30 or even 40 the guys you want who are financially stable either have fun or get married to 20 year olds.
@@Rainer125 actually I have more prospects in my 30s because I have a good career, mentally stable and healthy. In my 20s they still wasted the time of my friends. Have friends still in their 20s and it’s the same. Dating these days is very unserious no matter the gender. At the end of the day you can always settle or not. If you can’t find what you want or need then settle or be alone. That’s life. Realistically many people marry their high school and college sweethearts where I’m from. Most people from high school got married.
@@cierraaaaaaaas thats a cope there is no woman on earth that has more high quality options in her 30s than in their 20s unless they lost 100lbs of weight or something. Every woman would marry a 6ft handsome millionaire that cares for them yet those guys obviously won't consider marrying a 30 year old. The guys you date are unserioius because they pump and dump because you only want the top 10% at best just like any woman. Also careers don't matter to men at all a millionaire will happily marry a 20 year old barista that makes 1000 dollars a month over a 30 year old woman making 6 figures in 999 out of 1000 cases. Every woman even a 300lbs 3/10 will get hundreds of matches on Tinder because so many men are desperate it means nothing, will they marry her? No. If men decide to get married they marry a woman in her 20s at least the men that every woman wants. You don't want a balding average looking 5'7ft dude that makes 30k a year so you won't get married.
I have a military nurse friend that tells me that many of the kids that arrive at her hospital were concieved with this sort of processes
What, they get more sick?
That’s complete lie. You don’t give that kind of info to a nurse lol
@@yaninad5766 yeah I am curious to this too. How does a doctor or a nurse know this
That's a lie. There is no way for your military nurse friend to know
@@canesugar911 Well I don´t know how she knows it really but I do not doubt it, she did told me the women were older and the boys usually have more problems than usual, get sick more often and etc
I froze my eggs at 36 and finally had children at 41. I couldn’t carry them on my own though. Egg freezing only buys you a few years. It also left me with a pelvic infection which resulted in 3 surgeries over 3 months, leaving me scarred, infertile and one less ovary at 36.
Looking back, it’s hard to pinpoint which decision led me here. I spent too much time in bad relationships and getting over them. When there were good ones, I chose to relocate for better career opportunities. It takes 2-3 years to nurture a serious relationship. In hindsight, one can only do that many in her “prime”. It was stressful to continue risk breaking my heart and date in my mid and late thirties when men at the same age just didn’t share the same concerns. While I did pull it off, I’m considered the lucky few among my friends.
I'm honestly quite relieved that I was told at 16 that I'd probably never be able to get pregnant. I've seen my friends and colleagues over the years get into this frenzy, this panic of " if and when and how?? Natural, C-section, sperm donor, egg donor, freeze eggs, hormonal therapy". It was mind biggling to hear and there are SO many ads.
I'm nearly 30 now and so are most of my friends and while some have calmed down, others really hear that clock ticking and I can't imagine how crazy that must drive women!
As you said, you get sold hope but do some women really need it? Or is society deiving them into amxiety about having children?
I will still rather do it than not. Peace of mind is priceless. 🙏🏽💖
That’s a good point, Gail! I definitely became “lazy” when it comes to dating😂 haha. Definitely feel less pressured!
I really like people who are honest with themselves
Thank you for this video and for your honest perspective. In my 30s, many people were pressuring me to freeze my eggs. There was no thought given to what this would do to me, physically and emotionally, not to mention the cost. I never had it done, for religious reasons but also because I never liked the idea of injecting hormones into my body and I didn't have that kind of money at the time. I met my husband at 38 and just got married at 40. We're trying for a baby now and im at peace with the possibility of it not happening for us. It's great that there are more options for women now, but just because a reproductive technology is out there, it doesn't mean it'll be right for every woman.
Why is it wrong under a religious perspective? I'm christian, so I'm curious about the problem behind this practice.
@luanagarcia3119 no religious issues with freezing eggs or sperm separately. Issues arise when the eggs are turned into embryos as the belief is that life begins at Conception. The destruction or disposal of embryos is where the problem begins.
@@user-vg8ez9cu6u when does the issue happen? When the embryo thrown away?
@luanagarcia3119 correct. This presents a moral/religious issue for those who belief life begins at conception (sperm fertilized the egg and a new DNA is created).
Some denominations believe that infertility is a sign that biological procreation is outside of God's will for that particular married couple. Though this doesn't extend to adoption or fostering of orphans. Some religious believe the intentional creation of embryos (outside of the natural means of procreation) is morally wrong.
@luanagarcia3119 there are other moral/religious issues after that with regard to joining a husband's sperm with a donor egg, or a wife's egg with donor sperm. Some clinics are now combining three DNA strands of two women and a man into the embryo or two men and a woman into an embryo, which is deemed an abomination. This is because of the sanctity and unity of marriage being between 1 man and 1 woman according to Judeo-Christian scriptures.
Another moral/religious issue is the business side of ivf. Paying people for their sperm or egg or to be a gestational carrier of the embryo.
Hope this helps.
I think there's a huge problem in our society with relationships and friendships. No one cares about anyone else, no one wants commitment, people prioritise moving for work to their relationships and it's just part of the propaganda that modern media sell to us of being strong individualistic people that focus mainly on their careers and their personal growth. We all believed it, and are ending up isolated and depressed.
I believed this too when I was younger, but at 22 I met an amazing man, and within a year or so my mind was changed. Nothing would be more important than my relationship with this person, no job, no opportunity, nothing. Nothing ever felt as fulfilling as feeling completely understood and loved by someone and loving them back in the same way. In the last years we've moved together and adopted a dog, and again, it gives me so much purpose. Having a small creature to take care of, which loves me, which needs me to guide her and to grow, it's the most fulfilling job I've ever had. I imagine actual maternity is an expanded version of what I feel with my dog.
This doesn't mean that I would completely ditch my career, there's also playschools and later schools, grandparents etc. But I think that coming back to a loving family is the most fulfilling thing ever, and it should be prioritised over getting the best job, the highest pay or whatever promotion. My mother always prioritised her work over her family, and she ended up divorced and having huge relationship problems with me, her only child, now she doesn't want to get retired at 65, cause what is left otherwise? Unfortunately, days and life in general have a limited amount of time and you have to set priorities and choose, most people can't manage to have everything to the perfect level they would desire.
THIS RIGHT HERE. 👏 👏 👏. YOU ARE VERY WISE FOR YOUR AGE, YOUNG LADY. HOLD ON TO THAT MAN FOR AS LONG AS HE'S GOOD TO YOU. MARRY AND HAVE YOUR BABIES WHILE YOURE YOUNG & FERTILE
So powerfully stated ❤
You should blame capitalism. People are focusing on their careers bcs they simply need to survive, a minimum wage isn't enough to live, imagine raising children then?? And let's not forget other big factor in this that is not new: sexism. Men feeling so entitled oh having a woman as a "personal sl4ve" that they don't work on personal development and are in general really bad partners (but nowadays women are demanding more, to have an equal partner)
@@MariaPaula-uw3ds depends on the country, here in Switzerland where I live you can survive quite well on a single income and people still don't have that many kids. Also minimum wages you can live with okay as a couple, and you can earn a good salary doing an apprenticeship which you finish with 18, maybe even better than after uni. I think it's more a change of mindset than of economic opportunities, although in some countries, like my native Spain, it's just very hard to have kids just because there's no money, whatever job you have.
With men being bad partners, idk, some are for sure, but I think also many women are bad partners. Just in general it seems to me people have very superficial relationships, both sentimental and friendships, where they don't really care about each other. That said, I think all my partners except one where nicer to me than me to them, specially when I was young. None of them treated me as inferior, and they were mostly proud that I got better grades, could speak more languages, was very sportive etc... My current partner does so much for me, that I honestly don't know if I would have been able to do the same, in particular before I saw how much he was willing to sacrifice. Just choose men that treat you well from the beginning and in my experience it will stay like this most times, except if they're some narcissistic assholes as my father and one of my exes are, then they are quite good at pretending and then will show you their ugly face when they sense you're weak or they get bored. But not all men are narcissists or bad people.
@@espinoname2988 you should've just started off your comment with the fact that tou live in Switzerland. Congratulations for living in a lovely country but the rest of the world does not relate. It is exceedingly difficult to survive.
I have always been child free, even since I was a child myself. But in my late teens / early 20's I thought of selling my eggs as well. I found out that because I'm adopted, they don't accept eggs from adoptees. But I also like you, still thought about the process and wondered if I should do it for myself. Maybe even have them frozen and then let someone adopt the eggs. ultimately, I decided not to because of the health risks - esp the increased possibility of cancer. my adoptive Mom has had breast cancer on and off for 3 decades and it's been horrible seeing what she's had to go through all these years. thanks for making this video that talks about egg freezing issues that most people don't mention!
Why they don't accept adoptees?
Thanks for sharing your story and reflections. It brought to mind a documentary I watched about surrogacy. One woman had frozen her eggs before undergoing chemotherapy. She was then going through attempting to have a baby through these eggs and a surrogate. In the end, sadly, it did not work, and they had used up all her previously frozen eggs. It was very sad to see her crying when they told her it had not been successful. Just a reminder that egg freezing is no guarantee of a baby, and if you can have a baby naturally, even if it's not the 'perfect' time, and want one, then you might want to consider it.
I am single at 35 and no eggs frozen either
I hope you know that you are not alone. Stay healthy❣ in the end, that's all that matters
I was 35 when I got mine done. It's certainly not too late. Got pregnant with my twins ten years later.
@@crunchyfrog63 were you able to find a partner or had it on your own? did you feel buying the time helped?
@@Apple-dk2xl I ended up doing it on my own. I've gotten lots of help from my mom; basically co-parenting.
I feel like it would have been worth it, even if I never used them. The peace of mind of knowing that your options and choices are preserved is priceless IMO.
This isn't even something I'll ever do but I was very curious to see what you had to say :) thank you for sharing your experience for others to gain new perspectives on it. Hope you're doing well 💛
my cousin just had a beutifull baby girl at 42, and the husband is like 54, you have time, you just need to keep very healthy, and your partner too
that's a huge age gap, i hope she's really happy with him and not just took him out of desperation or low self worth
@@mothmos That's completely irrelevant from the video and the point of the comment.
@@Joshy2-SF huh? not every comment has to do with the point of video? i think you're just triggered by my comment. the original comment shared that their cousin 42 yrs old married a 12 yr older dude. and i just said i hope she did not take the 54 yr old dude out of desperation and low self worth? is there anything wrong? why are u triggered?
Please also think about being parents so late. Im 35, My Mother died 10 years ago, my father is 90 too old to be an active father. I struggle feeling like an orphan.
@mothmos yeah and personally being a woman in her late 20s and having old parents kind sucks.my dad is in his late 70s and my mom is in her mid-60s.I don't think people consider the position that puts thier kids in.
I’m 37yo asian and keep my eggs frezzed 5 years ago.
Recently, I realized my AMH test was dropped to 1.8 (normal women’s has >2.0).It also means my egg is reduced monthly.
However, I’m still single and I’m happy to be single. I too old to change myself to fit any guy out there. And I don’t want to be single mom, who choice to delete my child’s dad from their life.
I have to pay alot for keep my egg freeze for… I don’t even know for what.
But, If I had a second choice, I still decided to keep freezing my egg. Because the world is so hard for women. If I losing giving birth ability, It means I would not be treated like a normal woman. I don’t want that feeling.
And who knows, I would change my mind in future or my child’dad will appear soon!
actually the world is super easy for women, society's lies and evil ideologies make it hard.
did you test every year before it dropped to 1.8? wondering if its a gradual decline. i was thinking about freezing them when AMH drops to 2.
@@Rayhuntter Have you looked at the News? Most victims of crimes are women and girl children. In some countries, being born a girl may be a death sentence ! I am a woman and I had to fight hard for things many men take for granted and I was fortunate to be born white, blonde, pretty and healthy ! I shudder to think how it would have been if I was born black, unattractive or sickly !
Study feminism so you can deconstruct this idea of not being able to conceive making you less of a woman! I say that with all my heart ❤ reading lots of comments on this video made me really grateful that I started to study feminism many years ago so now, close to being 30, I'm so at peace with things many women struggle with
You seem very self reflective. You need someone similar. Write 3 of the most important things you want in a partner. I can show the math of it but more than 5 items make the search impossible because you can’t hope to meet more than 3000 or so people
Hey again Buh! I feel like I now look for only one thing in a partner haha. Until this person (is he alive?!) shows up in my life, I'll enjoy living and produce more videos hehe
@@all4yoojin that’s a really good idea actually because eventually you will attract people who will resonate with your videos
You shouldn't lower your standards just bcs you might not find anyone that matches them. What's more important, be in relationship or be with someone that truly loves and respects you and that is a good partner?
@@MariaPaula-uw3ds I agree for me it’s like this. Someone I find is more beautiful than 90% someone who is nicer than 90% and smarter than 90%. That’s one in thousand or so if I make it 80% it’s 1 in 100 almost
This was such a great video!!! Thank you from a 28 year old who hasn't found someone yet and thinks about this a lot!! Very informative!
I just randomly stumbled upon your video, but wow....what a poignant, deep and honest sharing. So many young women need to hear this.... at least I hope they do. Thank you for putting this out there.
I am super happy I froze my eggs at 28 and at 40. My eggs from age 28 are no longer viable (old technology) so I did 2 more cycled at 40. This was after trying to adopt, foster to adopt, and years of dating. It was surprisingly easy to do and only wish I had done anothet cycle. It has been a few years but I have no regrets even if this doesn't work out. At least I will have tried!
A month before i turned 40, i broke up with my boyfriend. 4 months later, i saved 4 grade A eggs by themselves as I had no sperm to fertilize them with. The following month, I met my husband. 10 months later, we married. One miscarriage, 1 baby, who passed after only 1 week. The doctors don’t know what happened, and an autopsy has been ordered. I still have the 4 eggs waiting for me. I pay $800 annually to keep them frozen- paid 2 times so far and don’t know if they’ll be used because I don’t have issues getting pregnant, although I’m still without a child. I don’t regret saving my eggs even though I may never need them or they may not successfully give me a child, since they weren’t fertilized before being frozen. I didn’t lose muscle mass nor gain weight during the process. I spent only $13k in California in 2022. I went to HRC, Pasadena. I took a loan for the eggs but I still don’t regret it. Good luck to you all.❤
I appreciated this take. Thank you for sharing.
@@ferl.r733 thank you for listening and stay healthy
I did it because I had to go through chemotherapy, in my case it was a necessity i’m not sure if I’ll ever going to use it because I have other problems with conceiving, but it gaves me that sense of reassurance which I paid a lot to have it
i just turned 34 last month and i have my first appointment to discuss freezing my eggs in december. i have been pregnant 2 years ago, but i did not want to keep it, i was with my ex at the time, i am single now by my choice.
the thing is, i do not want to have kids, but i want to freeze my eggs out of fear. i am not a child-free and i do allow the idea that in a future i might want to be a mother, even though i am 90% sure it wont happen: i dont like children, i dont see myself as a mother, i dont even have a partner and i do not see myself dating any time soon. but the idea of changing my mind in a future while it could be too late for me is scary. i would do it just for my peace of mind, while being well aware of the fact that i probably would never use those
Omg thank you! I need this sort of encouragement. I used to be in nyc. Terrible dating scene. I’m a single, driven, successful, and talented 35 yr old but I’m probably not going to freeze my eggs. Same as what you said. Would rather put this money into traveling and having fun. I recently went to OBGYN for check up and I was told to get an egg freezing consultation. I think there might be some incentive for doctors. After all fertility clinics are profit driven. 😅
Oh goodness. I don't think it's bad to focus on travel and such instead of a costly, time-consuming, and somewhat invasive process that may or may not give good results in the future. No disregard for anyone who does freeze their eggs, I promise.
You could do a lot of traveling for $26,000. In fact, you could do a lot of just about anything more fun for $26,000. And potentially meet a husband to actually have the kids with instead...because you're out of NYC then. There are decent guys out there. I'm pretty sure they exist. The trick is finding them because actually the dating process is terrible everywhere else too.
My friend is so upset that her obgyn haven't mentioned egg freezing when she was in her early 30s, and now when she's over 40 can't conceive and doesn't have frozen eggs... So, maybe it's good that your doctor at least verbalized it's an option...
@@Blockclub4980remember your friend that adoption is always an option
I'm 35 living in NYC and just got out of a toxic relationship with a narcissistic engineer. I feel your pain 😢 dating feels rough here, especially among educated and career driven women
Im considering it bc its free at my job and i'd hate for me to be older and regret not doing it. However, my goal is to conceive naturally regardless of having frozen eggs. Im in a dilemma
Haven't watched the rest but remember a story of someone who froze her eggs, and discover they were unviable years later.
It's still better to freeze fertilized eggs.
That's sad. Also heard a story of a woman's eggs or embryos being dropped and getting destroyed by accident. That is so heartbreaking.
That's why you should freeze before the age of 25. At least 2 cycles. Chances are you've got plenty of good/normal eggs in each batch retrieved. Waiting until late 20s or early 30s is still risky. Many more abnormal eggs, and fewer each cycle.
2 cycles because some eggs will die when defrosted. 2 cycles helps compensate for that loss. And at this age, you bounce back/less impact on your health from the IVF drugs.
she talks about this, kinda at the end. that they have no idea how viable they are and there’s no guarantee that they will ever be viable. dice roll! expensive and super sad one if failed.
I'm going through your channel while eating trying to figure out why someone so beautiful, driven, and with a great career is having trouble dating. Don't give up!
Chapters
00:00 Intro
00:22 Why I froze my eggs in NYC at 30
01:39 Egg freezing process overview
04:12 Cost
04:34 Why I regret freezing my eggs
I really appreciate the time and effort for this video. Also from a corporate girly to another, you are beautiful inside and out
Wish I would have done it in my 30's. I thought I'd meet mr right. Luckily, I have, but I'm 45 yrs old and it's the last year I can do it, if I'm going to do it. I'm just now looking into it. So glad for the RUclips docs explaining egg quality, but wished I'd have known how it worked sooner.
I attempted egg freezing twice when i was 35. All i have to say is NOTHING is guaranteed. Even having the eggs there for the future they may not take when one is ready for pregnancy. It is 100 percent a gamble like she mentioned. We as humans place so much pressure on ourselves. Remember we could also always adopt or not have children at all. We will be OKAY.
I mean why wouldn’t it be a gamble. This is a man made process, there is no guarantee that it effectively solves all your problems and you 100% will have a child.
I’m struggling to understand why people bring that up like it already isn’t obvious.
The other option- to not taking this gamble- is to not freeze your eggs at all and see your fertility chances when/if you are ready to be pregnant. Like women have all throughout history.
Of course it’s a gamble, but the thing is, without it, you absolutely don’t have an extra chance at eggs in the future.
We as humans place so much pressure on *women. Ftfy. I don’t see men doing this, even though their sperm degrades at a rate 7x faster than women’s eggs, men would never even go through even half the pain…but we already know this since men all dropped out of male birth control trials when they experienced 1/2 of what women do on birth control for one week lol.
They say nothing is guaranteed -- but if you sire an embryo -- dont embryos have a 90% success rate, compared to a regular egg's 40% success rate??
Please stop viewing adoption like this.
It's not a plan B to biological children. It's an entirely separate thing. It's even more important to consider and get right, it's more nuanced, it's harder than raising your own biological children, because it requires you to have the knowledge and sense to respect this child's individual story, their origin, their greater family; it connects you to another family, it's a bigger thing. Adopted children don't pop into existence from a void; they have individual histories. Also, in many places, it just isn't possible to adopt children. It often isn't in the best interests of the child to be adopted by a non-relative. Adoption should always be about finding the best parenting solution for the child, *never* about prioritising fulfilling the parenting wishes of intended parents.
If you want to help care for existing children who need care, become a foster parent (and research it well so you do a good job). Be that parent for a kid who needs it, *because they need it*, not to satisfy your own needs of 'having' children.
@@bevs9995 when I was given the info at the time of freezing mine, in 2019, the success rates were about equal. I think maybe they've improved the tech? Or maybe it matters how old you are at the time.
I think it’s too soon to jump into collusion here me age 42, I’m finally doing embryo transfer tomorrow with the eggs I froze at age 40. I regret not freezing my eggs sooner. If only gets harder…. And I did not meet my soulmate until age 42! And I could not get pregnant naturally either due to health issues like andenomyosis… I think you made the smart choice.
You give me hope. I am 40 and about to freeze my eggs. For me it’s like having a little more chance to conceive when I will meet the one. Even if it’s one percent chance more ilI take it. Sorry for my english, I am french speaking.
I am absolutely grateful to have seen this story.
It is a difficult situation either way. Truly.
None can ever truly know how much the journey alongside life will mark us finitely nor permanently. Thank You for sharing your time and Story.
I’m glad to have stopped in and heard it. Very well done. Be Well ❤
You speak my language! I'm 39yrs turning 40 in another 7-8 months. I haven't even met the right one & don't know when I will. Not willing to settle for less just for the ticking clock. Really contemplating the risks of getting my eggs frozen now vs going natural. By God's grace, I have healthy menstrual cycle & lifestyle. On one side, I do desperately want to have a legacy for my genes, on the other hand I don't want to risk my health by freezing eggs, which at this age may or may not have success either. Should I just trust in God & be positive if God blesses me with babies naturally? If not, I'll adopt. My PCP will be referring me to the fertility clinic tomorrow. Any advice?
Hi! Hope you had a great weekend and congrats on the exciting milestone. Your determination not to settle and your contemplation of both the possibilities and the risks show a strong sense of self-awareness and a deep desire for what's best for your future.
I think you already know the answer to your question :D Remember, there's no one-size-fits-all answer, and every path, including adoption, holds its own beauty and challenges.
Keep faith in yourself and your choices, knowing that whatever the outcome, you're moving forward with love and intention. Wishing you strength as you navigate this part of your journey. 💖🍀
Get a cat.
@@all4yoojin Thank you so much!
I went the other route: at 30ish, and after a decade-plus search trying to find a good match, I married someone not quite compatible. While having children was the best thing I've ever done, and I have no regrets, an unhappy relationship has taken a heavy toll. I made the right choice for me, and there is no one size fits all solution to this problem, but I think if you prioritize what is most important to you, you will make the right choice in the end without regrets. Sometimes life doesn't provide us with the ideal option, and that's one of the toughest predicaments in life.
Hey! I just did an egg freezing cycle myself. I'm 26 and I used to work at a fertility center coordinating egg freezing and ivf cycles. We see a lot of women who do IVF in their 40s who have successes and don't have successes. The earlier you freeze (just retrieving your eggs, not fertilizing) the better as successful pregnancy is determined by quality of eggs (not just how many eggs). Keep in mind, not all eggs you retrieve will be mature. Out of those mature eggs not all will survive fertilization so you end up with less embryos than eggs. However, I think it will help you IF you need to go the IVF route should you and a future partner need it to freeze your eggs. If you have the means I suggest doing it so you dont regret it. It can be rough but many bounce back after a few weeks. Constant injections can be rough, i was bloated for about 1-2 weeks after the retrieval but was fine after that. Most women dont regret it imo. let me know if you have questions! I also helped women who were looking into donor sperm options. If you're not partnered I would consider it. Tons of single women did it at our center.
thanks for sharing Yoojin!
@@Alexa-cr1vy happy to hear you found it helpful Alexa🥰
I wish I could've afforded egg freezing at 30! I still can't afford it at 37 😅
There's nothing wrong with having high standards for a life partner. That's the person you'll be spending the next 50 years with! Better to be single than to be with the wrong person
I think it’s better to be with the wrong person and make it work than to be single for 50 years
@@BlessedTea555 I'm so sorry for you, your future looks terrible 😢
Thank you for sharing your story!
Love your honest review of your journey, as we all need to know the pros and cons ❤❤❤
Weird that youtube pushed this video to me but I learned something new. Didn't realize egg freezing has become so popular, I thought it's still science fiction or at most only the rich does it. I never wanted kids, it amazes me how women would go through so much and spend so much just to freeze their eggs, and so much worry goes into selecting the right person to have kids with.
It's fascinating how the algorithm works, right?? I'm glad you found this video informative. Egg freezing has indeed become more mainstream and accessible. I was watching a Netflix documentary on how much it cost back in the days (I mean it's not cheap now but it was definitely for the mega rich when it first started out). I find it incredible how far people will go to when it comes to planning for their future. Thanks for watching and sharing your thoughts! Cute cat by the way ;)
designer babies are next, genes are the future of currency and after that, it will be all machines.
This video is SO important. Thank you ❤
Aww! That makes me happy to hear it. Thank you, Ana!❤️
Adoption is a beautiful way to give a loving home to a child who really needs it
I agree with everything you said in this video. My reasons for not freezing eggs were very similar to what you said. Most important one was that success is not guaranteed. Success rates with egg freezing used to be 40-50% just decade back. These days they say it's 90%, I don't trust that.
I think its 90% for a sired embryo and 40% for eggs.
Very honest and fair. Thank you very much for that video!
My mom is pressuring me to have kid using surrogate since there's no way I'll want to get pregnant myself. I chose to be childfree 20+ years ago (I'm 44 now). She threatened not to give me inheritance if I don't want to do egg retrieval. My in-law is the same, if I don't produce biological kid, there'll be no inheritance for me. I was torn to give in to the idea, as long as I don't have to take care of the kids, but your video makes me realize that I can gain weight & that there're some other side effects. Thanks for making me realize that I don't need to sell my life for money.
Wow, I do not mean to be disrespectful but these are horrible families… how can the pressure you into something you do not want? That must be a cultural thing I assume…
Based on what you've written, you shouldn't have kids. Please don't. You cannot have kids with this type of mindset. It's not fair to them. It's OK to be child free. Enjoy.
Indonesian name, not a common for Indonesian to chose to be child free. Can I know the reason?
@@user-vg8ez9cu6ui completely agree! Sounds like something an Asian family would do.
Ask her to adopt a child on the sly or secretly sponsor a “surrogate” (already pregnant mother) whom you sponsor pretty much and you don’t do any harm by bringing someone you don’t want into the world, or even better bettering the life of somebody who was abandoned and had no hope of a family. wish you well be wise ♥️
I'm 31, and my partner and I have been pursuing embryo freezing as a mutual choice we made (it's like egg freezing but with the additional step of fertilizing the eggs and allowing them to grow a bit before freezing; statistically, it's supposed to have slightly better success rates when the time comes to use them, too).
Unfortunately, during the process we found out that my partner has infertility. It's something we wouldn't have known otherwise, as we've always been very careful to use protection and avoid pregnancy. It hits different when it suddenly goes from a personal choice to a necessity. 😅 It's also caused the process to drag out for much much longer than we expected... I'm debating freezing my eggs in the meantime, as I'm not getting any younger while we try to solve my partner's side of the issue... But honestly, prior to considering this option, I had pretty much accepted the fact that it's possible I will never have children, and that's okay... It's really a complex issue.
Why? Well, for one, we are in our 30s but still living in a one-bedroom apartment, both working full-time and barely making ends meet. I just wouldn't feel right adding a baby into our circumstances. It feels incredibly selfish to even consider it... But then, I found out about the egg/embryo freezing option as a benefit from my employer, so it gave me a glimmer of hope that maybe it's not yet completely off the table.
Another reason was that both of our parents had us way too young (my mom was 18) and in much less than ideal circumstances. We don't really fully mature as humans until our mid-20s to 30s, and so as I was growing up into my teens my mum was only just maturing as an adult herself. I felt that in a lot of ways I was forced to grow up too fast because of our circumstances. We just don't want to pass on those same difficulties to yet another generation. It's not right. If I'm ever going to have a baby, I want to offer it a secure and hopeful upbringing unlike anything we experienced...
So, that's our story. Haven't even gotten to start a cycle yet, but it may be on the horizon about 6 months away. We'll see how it all unfolds! Nothing is certain on this journey, that's for sure! 😅
I thought embryos have a 90% success rate compared to 40% for regular eggs. Thats more than "slightly better."
@@bevs9995 Last I heard, with modern advances, it is something like 95% for embryos vs 90% for eggs (in terms of surviving the freezing process).
Our doctor also underscored in her explanation that these days the difference is negligible, but we still chose the embryo route because, at least for us, 5% was still significant enough, and we wanted the best odds possible.
@@OkyLegacy just googled it. its 90% survive freezing, 70% fertilization, and 45% make it to develop into pregnancy
and its almost 70% with embryos. (for pregnancy)
yeah id go with embryo freezing too
Many women who freeze their eggs get breast cancer.
It’s what I saw from the hospital because it affects your hormones and it is stressful on your body.
I might lose my last ovary. The urge to freeze my eggs is HIGH. But it seems just fear based. Thank you for sharing your regrets. You have saved me from a lot of heartache.
Thanks so much for sharing this ❤
Ive read testimonials of women who had their period return after doing yoga, changing their diet, taking supplements, and after detoxing. Janet jackson had a baby boy at 50. Even if you speak with nurses, women giving birth after 50 isnt ultra rare. Seems the health of the body is more important to fertility than more people realize
No it's ultra rare. Some women's eggs aren't viable even in their late 30s. It is an individual thing. 😢
@meln4214 you maybe right. But I wouldn't be surprised. Many times in science, we've said stuff like "the brain doesn't grow new neurons after age xx, limbs can't be regrown, spinal cord injury is permanent, etc..." but there are always exceptions. There are documented cases of kids regrowing a new thumb. The body is more plastic an amazing then we probably are aware.
@@CaliforniaDreams-eb8sxlol 😂
Janet Jackson simply won the genentic lottery.
@@msptv6247 Apparently she used a donor egg so anyone wanting to go that route might need to win the actual lottery.
Wow. I had egg freezing in my mind recently but not seriously as I am not in the emotional space right now.
I loved your video, it's so informative so i will share it.
Please ignore the nasty woman blaming comments.
I understand just how hard dating is when you are waiting until marriage.
I think freezing eggs makes total biological sense; I froze mine twice (had 2 cycles) when i was 32 yo, now I'm 36; last 4 years were as stressful as it gets, I'm glad I do not need to freak myself out about the quality of my eggs. Now, I might use in couple years; huge problem is the cost of the procedure in the USA, it's 10k+ per cycle; I did it twice in Barcelona for 5k and it included 4 years of storage of each batch, so 1 cycle + 4 years of storage was only 2500, which is very accessible in my opinion.
Wow thanks for this tip. 26k is a lot. Beyond the reach for most .
Childless, infertile, never wanted children and I will never do. I am extremely happy.
evolutionary dead-end
@pirata-xw4on That's the point, people have it here. I don't. End of story. :*
@pirata-xw4onsociety tends to tell us we will regret not having kids. My daughter doesn’t want kids at all and she gets so much flack for it.
@pirata-xw4on even with the Dr that is on the list of known Drs that will do a tubal ligation on younger women she was laughed out of the office. With her health she really shouldn’t have biological children if she wanted them or at least never get pregnant if she was desperate for kids but she doesn’t want them so I wish she could get sterilized. I understand Drs are covering their butt against things like lawsuits but she does need it.
By your logic, people who make 1 or 2 kids are evolutionary dead-end two, since they don't actually reproduce (2 kids only cover their parents mortality, with 1 you as good as a single person with no kids)
It’s great I don’t care about kids at all and I don’t care about meeting anyone either. Life is great.
how many eggs did you freeze? my first ER i got 10 mature and frozen. at 33...
it sounds like you had a successful first ER!! The number of eggs frozen can really vary from person to person due to so many factors, so it's important to remember that everyone's journey is unique. The most important thing is that you're taking steps that feel right for you and your future. I didn't share my number because I wanted everyone to treat their experience as is. Wishing you all the best on your journey!
Wow, I did it recently in my country (Spain), but it "only" costed me 3.500 €. I share a lot of emotions with you. I also gained some weight and my menstrual cycles got messed up some months. Now I am 37 and egg freezing at least made me realise I want for sure to be a mum and that I am strong to go through the process again, so I will do a IVF cycle with a donor to become a single mum
My fear of freezing my eggs, is there will be a mix up. Someone accidentally gets mine, uses genetic material I didn't consent to fertilizing them. I also fear someone raising my genetic child because my eggs are implanted and having no legal rights to to raise the child. Laws haven't kept up with technology.
@@neko7606what a useless clinic
I love your video and I totally agree what you said and explaining why you regret it.And I even watch twice especially the end of your video it’s really a good advice and thought for all the women..❤❤❤Your the best
thanks for sharing. Very informative!
Glad you found it helpful! Stay healthy🙏
Thank you for your honesty and courage in sharing your experience. You would be a catch for any man.
My problem is i have really bad anxiety that kept me from dating and forming any type of relationship. I just turned 29 and i have been thinking of my fertility lately, my parents have been telling to get married and have children for 4 years now but the idea of having sex really scares me and disgusting to me, some days i want a kid because i am afraid i will regeret it when it is too late 🙃 and other days i don't. I just want have a kid and get it over with, but i have to start socializing first, and that is the hard part. I can close my eyes and just do it, but it is the social aspect of meeting people that i am having a hard time with. So i have been thinking about freezing my eggs
I hope you will find your answers maybe try to socialize a little bit first going to activities etc first short time things and then built from there and see how it goes and maybe trying therapy meanwhile if you can it may help 💖
If you do want kids, you don't have to have sex to do it - there's a few people I've heard of who conceived through going to a fertility clinic and getting IUI. But some countries won't let single women access this (so research what the rules are in your own country and consider going abroad for treatment if not).
Thank you for sharing! 30 and married but very very undecided and I'm so scared that I'll want kids one day and it'll be too late. I loved your quote, not insurance, it's like a stock
Love your sense of humor！ 😂
hehe thanks for appreciating my attempt at humor!
Thank you so kindly for sharing your story. Egg quality can’t be tested, embryos can ☺️ you are so lovely, intelligent, successful and beautiful. We hope you find Mr Right very soon ☺️
Thank you so so much for this honest video! Good luck with everything 😊
Thanks for listening, Vasiliki! I appreciate your kind words🙏🥹 have a restful weekend
I froze my eggs before 30s and have a 3 year old now and another one in my bun! Thanks to ivf for making these things possible.. no regrets❤
Hi there! Thank you so much @all4yoojin for sharing your experience!! ❤ I'm a 36yo woman, and a virgin. No disrespect to anyone at all; do what's best for you. For myself, I will not do this because I am believing God for the husband and children, if I am meant to have them. I do not wish to force anything or do anything out of fear. I am resolved to let Jesus get all the glory for my life and purpose whichever way they were planned.
Amen to that! ❤
am 33 rite now I went into the same thought of freezing my eggs and spoke to my close friend she is the only one i trust with this private matters. She was very supportive in my plan. But then she also explained the cost and insurances which is very expensive, i come from an abusive family. I live alone and also same as you i dont have much dating history or find guys so easily who are in me. Most of the time its married men tht want an affair which i totally an disgusted an i would never do. Also i don't go with sex before marriage am a virgin. So thought of freezing my eggs, since am not financially strong an just stepping up in life after escaping an abusive father and mother. I have just started my life, since there is no guarantee tht i would find a partner i dropped the plan of freezing eggs. Maybe once i acquire enough money and still single would adopt or if i find someone who loves me by gods grace i hope to conceive naturally or will go for adoption. Also i don't have great body either am a little chubby ... So waiting for future to unfold
Just don't worry about having kids,not everyone has to do it. And you know men also get extreme socal pressure if they can't start a family by 30
Terrible advice
@@TeyimPilais it terrible cause YOU wanna have a family with her?
"Don't worry about it"? If your lifelong dream is to have a family, good luck with that ...
@@TeyimPila ew she doesn’t want you
@@Ayverie4yet when a person's lifelong dream is something else and they don't manage to achieve it, then people say "don't worry, you can be happy doing other things in life", but when it comes to kids they say "oh no, I am so sorry you are so unhappy and your life is meaningless now". Do you think that such a reaction helps anyone?
Thank you for the clear and helpful video. Hope you get better love ❤
loved the honesty
Thank you, Krista! 🙏
I kind of had to freeze my eggs at 27 because I had a stem cell transplant. They told me i had to wait a couple if years until I can start thinking about kids. But if I didn't have to go through all of that I don't think I would have done it.
I'm currently in my early twenties and I've never really wanted to have a child, so I thought it would be a good idea to freeze my eggs, but I don't know. I thinks I'd go for adoption if I ever change my mind.
Just be careful with adoption. Adoption is a complex issue, with both ethical and unethical aspects to consider. This doesn't mean you shouldn't adopt if you want to, but it's important to think deeply about how the child might feel about not knowing their heritage or original family. It's not as simple as it may seem. If you're in a good place personally and want to have a child, it's something you won't regret. Don't overthink or overconsume what society and people tell you. Follow your heart and take care of yourself ❤
@stacyjang what unethical aspects ?
@@كارولين-م9ب I’m no expert in this field, but one example of an unethical practice is the way that some of these services go about their methods regarding adoption. Sometimes the people who give up their children are in a vulnerable state and the companies in charge may be more focused towards the profits involved rather than helping the families in these particular situations. This has been known to happen in Africa (for example) where the people adopting have no idea that this is going on behind the scenes. This doesn't happen in all adoption centres, of course. However, it is worth doing some research on. And making sure that the company you potentially work with does their due diligence.
@@كارولين-م9ب it's best to research online to form your analysis. I'd suggest taking a brief moment to look at the examples around you as well (whether it be from your own life or the public eye) and just observe. Including the methods that companies had to use to make this a profiting service, unknown to the parents who do adopt. Something to ponder.
@stacyjang Thanks for the advice, I'll be aware of that. Although it's not a profitable activity in my country (not the USA). And I've never heard of anything unethical happening to the kids.