i really relate to feeling “behind” in life. I graduated from a college prep school but didn’t give a shit about classes and ended up getting a low gpa and going to community college while everyone else I went to highschool with went to big universities. After a year of community college, I took a year off of school entirely to figure out what I wanted to do which made me feel further “behind” because I was comparing myself to other people who were way more successful than me. Honestly, you don’t sound pretentious when you talk about struggling at an Ivy League, in fact it sounds like a really hard environment to feel confident in when everyone else seems to have their lives figured out and you’re just trying to get homework done on time. I guess the most important thing for me was to learn that I am where I am; that I’m on my own path to my own goals independent of everyone else around me. a lot of people our age deal with problems like this so just know you’re not alone
I just finished my first year at penn and I relate to this vid sm. it was so easy for me to get caught up with comparing myself to everyone else and i felt like a huge imposter half the time
Do you think those top schools, including Ivys better than those not that prestigious, or in ranking 400 500 or 300 in uni ranking worldwide? Do you feel that sth like quality of education or sth else is a little different compared to those? I think you got my point.🙂
UPenn is no joke! I graduated from the College in 1989! Your story resonates with me and many other alums and we STILL speak about our experiences while there! Feel free to reach out!
@@haleykang8156 obviously by "real", It's slang term for Honest and Genuine, not full of pretense or virtual signaling. The pressure for professional and academic success is very cutthroat. I always regretted not getting into an Ivy League due to not preparing well for the SAT ( I got an IB Diploma with top tier grades and my friends who got into Ivies had expected me to join them lol. They had prepped for the SATs two years in advance while I rolled off the bed and took it haha). Anyway, I'm a Physician now, making really good money, so going to a state school still turned out to be okay. My advice to you is not to stress too much about not finding your path, it will work itself out in the end. You will come into things that pique your interest and choose your own path. Consulting Firms and Investment Banking have HIGH attrition rates from recent Ivy grads who only chased them for money and realized how soul-crushing the workload was and how underappreciated they were. Software Engineering is a great field as you can easily find your own path, and have greater flexibility. You'll be ok. I know you will. All the best!
i go to another ivy and feeling similarly about being stuck in a major i'm unsure about / comparing myself to other ppl who seem to know exactly what they want ... ur not alone :(
I'm about to be a freshman at Penn majoring in nursing, and I agree with the whole "I don't know what to do with my life" point of the video so much! I feel like also being separated in a specific nursing school away from all the other majors makes me feel trapped as well. I hope this year isn't too hard.
I'm an incoming freshman @ Penn, and I can already relate to the sentiments shared in this video. College is seen as a launching pad to career success, and I've already started to feel that pressure. Your voice and ideas are important, so I hope you keep posting if that's something you ever have an inclination to do
You're definitely not a failure, and a large percentage of other students probably feel the exact same way. Some of it also depends on which type of people you spend the most time around. Having majored in History at Penn (i.e., a College of Arts & Crafts student), it was less common for people to constantly compare each other and worry about top internships and stuff compared to people in Wharton or Engineering. Some of the pressure can be artificial. Ultimately, happiness and success don't depend on how prestigious your first job is but instead on finding something that you enjoy doing.
As tough as it is getting into Penn, the high wears off real quick when you realize that it is HARD. The classes are HARD, the tests/quizzes, presentations, etc. You are not alone. I am just pushing through and hoping for the best.
Coming from another lvy league and working in one of the company you mentioned, I can relate, and like your video very much. There is a long way ahead beyond college. Find your passion and I believe things will be sorted out.
Just finished my freshman year at Penn and this has been the most relatable video ever. I was constantly trying to figure out if I was "average" or "below average" and felt pressured to constantly be productive.
I think their problem is the fact most people have an idea of what they wanted to do and seen the timeline as (graduate hs, go to college, get an internship, graduate, then find the job) when there’s so many missing pieces but instead of thinking it out methodically they spend all their time trying to get into their dream school and once they get accepted they think it’s where the road ends and they take their foot off the pedal and get comfortable, that is a mindset that will kill you. The higher up the totem pole you go just means more responsibility on your plate, more eyes on you, and the expectations will only grow and you need to remember that for the rest of your life. I also think the lack of give a fcks came from a bad habit that started to spoil your head. When you mentioned it I was waiting to hear “what made you feel this way.” You said the breakup isn’t an excuse and it’s not but it’s how you reacted to the breakup/tragedy. Tragedy comes in many forms but from how you out it, you took it pretty rough (no judgment), procrastinated once and rather than catching your mistake you decided to do it again and formed a bad habit that also changed your mindset in a negative way. I think it’s crucial that you look back at it, how you reacted, and LEARN from it so YOU KNOW HOW TO MOVE WHEN IT HAPPENS AGAIN. Tragedy will come again. Could be another breakup, could be financial blow, fired from a job, or one day could receive news that someone you held very close to your heart is no longer here. Either way you need to keep it pushin and understand it is not an excuse to take your foot off the gas. This video is a year old but all in all if things are ever going bad I think it’s important you take a day to reflect on not just the negatives and struggles and say it’ll be ok, but what YOU did to get yourself in that situation and what person YOU NEED TO BE to overcome it.
I was SO sure I wanted to get into the medical field, but I don’t want to go to med school. So, now I’m just trying for summer internships and hoping I find something I like. It’s so true getting to college is enough, and I didn’t realize that
I’m a Master student at Penn and I have 12+ years of professional experience (where I switched from role to role, and started from scratch multiple times), and guess what?! It’s ok!! For me, even after this experience, I would only be 100% professionally sure if I try smth out either in the job/internship environment or doing it for 10 hours a day every day. Second part, UPenn’s pre-professional environment is laughable and it only reflects the absolute worse cases of tech/finance. Don't get sucked into it, it’s so not a reflection of the real world. The last thing, you got time!!!! I am 38 yo and if I can pivot my career you can do it too. Now or later! Take care of yourself and be kind to yourself. Last thing, if you ever need a mentor or want to talk, please reach out.
One question: is going or giving your energy to try to get into Ivys worth it? What do you think differentiate them positively from other colleges in 300, 400, 500 rank in unis worldwide. Will we get the same quality of education or what the worth of going to Ivy. Nowadays, i try to figure out whether spending my energy on those colleges are really worth it. I also consider China, Because the environment really resonates with me. Hope i was clear.❤
Hi Haley. Thanks for the update video and you're definitely not alone in this. Right now I'm kinda drifting through school but I'm just trusting in myself that things will work out in the end if I work at it. Don't feel pressured to come back to yt but know if you do people will be here for ya.
YES YES! I'm a sophomore at washu & got caught up so much in comparison and feeling like I would never "measure up." inherently comparison comes when you're forcing yourself to follow some preset path, and it's magnified when that path isn't what you actually enjoy. also the job prestige search is 98% fueled by ego- it's not something that really will make a difference in your quality of life or fulfillment even if it feels like a huge deal now. i've found it's best to pursue things i love just for the sake of them, instead of constantly stressing about whether i'm checking off all these boxes for my resume. & then having faith that what you love will lead to something amazing long-term. thanks so much for sharing this message- it's so important to know we're not alone!
Girl I’m in the same boat… randomly chose chemical engineering when applying to college and now switching to CS in the middle of my college career…now i’m taking summer classes to catch up 😭 it’s a struggle, but all will be fine in the end! Any degree from UPenn will get you super far! You got this❤️❤️
Hi Hayley! I just got my penn interview yesterday, and I wanted to tell you what my interviewer told me. She was a psy major back then and she totally had no idea what to do in the future. Her husband however knew what to do since his first day at Penn. She had a difficult time bc of this: not knowing what to do for the whole 4 yrs while all others did. Still she ended up trying in many different companies after graduation and finally found what she like to do and is now very successful! And it’s actually totally unrelated to psy haha. She told me it’s okay to not know what to do, college is a time for discovery and I want to tell you this too! - Also I know how terrible you feel rn. I’ve also been best at studying for my whole life yet somehow failed during sophomore year. It was so devastating and I know it’s not sth that others telling you is okay and it’s okay. But I’m still gonna tell you you’ll feel okay one day and we are also experiencing so you’re not alone! Everyone has a phase where they feel hopeless and miserable no matter how hard you work but it’s fine you are still awesome and I like you no matter what your videos are so fun! - I hope you do well and feel well❤️ your mental health is the top priority !! Take care of yourself and do try not to be too stressed tho it’s hard I can see. Penn will still be my dream school tho😆 good luck!
im an upcoming senior at UCSD and whenever i think about my future in ux/ui and my career, i feel so anxious bc i dont know if i will be successful and if i will even like it
I could understand u. I thought I was relatively smart in some ways since I was one of the top students throughout the primary, middle, and high school. But u know what? When u got out of those small communities, u would get to see a different world with many bright and intelligent people. That transition is pretty hard.
I'm an incoming freshman at ucla and I'm already so stressed about my future careers. I've heard from a lot of people about how you "need" a summer after freshman year internship but it's so hard to get one, esp if you're undecided (which I am) because they all need specific majors or whatever and I just feel like I'm already so behind even though I literally haven't started yet.
I love your talk so much, it is so relatable. I'm only a highschool student but the environment here at my school is the same as upenn (cause it is an asian school) It took me almost 2.5 years to get used to this competitive studying environment. I thought I am the only one who went through this but no, there is also a person like u too who is even smarter, cooler than me. Thank you so much sis! Just keep moving forward! I will always be here supporting u :333
You don't know girl!!! listening to your venting,i feel light in my heart too. idk why but I was feeling the same -the struggles,the falling behind mindset,everyone's boasting about their accomplishments. Its too much but at the end of day,we have to go beyond,girl! SLAYYYYYY
Hey! Your struggles are totally valid at these schools. I graduated from Berkeley/Duke undergrad. Take time to explore your interests in college. I know it’s a stressful time, but Penn has so many resources for exploration. The only constant thing in life is change. I’ve learned while a plan is nice, be open to it changing. The likelihood of you changing careers and jobs multiple times in your working life is high, and this is also comforting. We can learn, relearn and adapt. You may go into engineering but then realize a few years later that another career path is better suited! You don’t have to have it figured out, I and many of my classmates certainly didn’t! Life after college is grand, and you will have plenty of time to explore, pívot, etc. Even if you go a traditional route like many Penn students (MBB/tech) that’s okay. You may love it or pívot to something else! Not career but also, Focus on fostering wholesome friendships in college. You’ll be really glad you did :)
Great talk. People usually don't know what they want to do. It's fluid and changes once you are in the moment of studies. The job world is totally different. Some people go to college thinking they know what they want and then regretting the decision. I think you are totally fine 🙂. The experience is fluidity throughout the college years. 😄
N'inquiétez pas! J'ai senti le même chose quand j'étais dans l'université. Je n'avais aucnne idée ce quoi je voulais faire à cette époque. À mon avis, maintenant, surtout avec la grande démission, tout le monde ne veut plus travailler. Donc, essentiallment, je recommend que tu choisis quelle chose pour étudier, sauf si tu le détester, et n'oublies pas, ce n'est pas permanent. Même les gens qui étaient vraiment serieux et certain de ce quoi ils voulaient faire subissent le sentiment aujourd'hui de fatigué, sans les espoir, etc. En effect, une raison pour le mouvement "quiet quitting". Donc, tout ira bien! Bon chance
i'll be an incoming freshman but not to an ivy league school so even tho i may not experience everything you said in the video, im glad you shared your experience with us. especially the negative sides that not many people talk about. ur journey feels like a wakeup call for me this year. i am sincerely cheering you on and i hope things will work out for you!!
"play the game" or don't play the game... it sounds competitive, but everything in the grand scheme of things will be fine!! ignore the pretentious rats. there is so much more to one's career beyond that first job, don't compare yourself to others, focus on you!!!
This video is literally me right now 🤷♂️ Penn just hard man. I finished my first year @Wharton and feel kinda lost about which career to go into. Not choosing the right one means even more grinding 👌
but if, mentally, u take urself outside the ivy league bubble, you're actually doing great compared to the outside world. It's just the environment you are in. "ivy league failure" sounds like an oxymoron to me but I completely understand why you feel like that, considering your social and financial pressures. I hope it gets better. My guess is many, many people feel like this at your school too but they won't admit it because of their pride - at least you're brave enough to say it out loud. anyways, good luck my friend! I have a big feeling everything will eventually work out one way or another.
Hey Haley, how are you doing these days? I can totally related to your story. I changed my major 3 times already over the years. First started as physic education major in South Korea, CS at UIUC, and then studied Computer graphics at graduate school. Now I work as a quant programmer. It is okay to change majors in the middle. My undergrad years was terrible because I was surrounded by geniuses. I really recommend taking a gap year and there are some tests available to find out one's personality and strong points for their career. I forgot the tests' name, though. Also reach out to get help from any student counselor or career center. Your problem is very common one in any competitive school. There is help available. You just have to actively look for it. If taking a gap year does not affect your financial package, please consider taking one. That one year could save more years to come. 3rd & 4th year classes are going to be even worse alongside graduate students. They are graded separately, yet still fuel undergraduate inferiority. I was surprised that you are an engineering student because you sounded like a business major(not finance) from other videos. If you really decide CS is your thing, you can use gap year to catch up and try to transfer to CS department. There are a lot of online classes available for CS courses. Doing CS minor on top of major course that you are struggling with in a highly competitive school like UPenn is not really a good idea. Upper level CS course require a lot of time to do assignments. If you transfer to CS department, you will be able to keep a lot of requirement courses and major courses can be used towards electives credits. Remember there are help available. Look for the people who can help. Don't be restricted by financial aid. Try not to avoid the problem by going out. Having fun to get the stress out is one thing, but buoying without direction is another. You are not the only who struggles with this problem. People feel imposter syndrome at one point in their lives. Smart ones start feeling it later in college, graduate school, or in their career whereas a lot of your elementary school friends might already felt and already adjusted their career path. It is okay to feel that way, but you have to know that you are there because you are qualified to be there. You are just as good as your friends are. This is what my graduate school director has told us on the first day. Many professors tell the same thing to their students. You just have to figure out the direction. I hope this helps.
Hello Im a senior in high school and let me just say you are definitely not alone! Right now I’m trying to figure out my career and I really want to do a 2 year to 4 year transition for money reasons and to figure out my career and IT FEELS SOO WRONG Everyone around me is going to 4 years and talking about graduating early to buy apartments and doing all of this stuff and it just feels like I’m so underdeveloped… And I’m the type of person who likes stability and likes things going on a steady course and to feel so uncertain about where I am right now just gives me so much existential anxiety in such a period of my life where I feel like I should be growing instead of worrying But something my dad told me recently is that I’m in a race with myself… and to not get caught up in what everyone else is doing because at the end of the day it won’t matter He told me it’s okay to be aware of what’s going on but to not get caught up in it… And I know it’s easier said than done and I can’t even imagine how it may be in a Ivy League but I know from some research I done that there’s a lot of different ways to get into certain careers and change course I was watching a channel Angelica Song I believe and her videos have really comforted me lately and she has one on the Tech Industry that you might find helpful ❤ I wish you luck on your journey and you are not alone! We are human and we are constantly learning about ourselves in school and out of school ❤❤
Sounds like you are crossed between the desire to study MechE and CS. So may I suggest that you look into Embedded Software. I think that you will be pleasantly surprised and may want to research the courses to take to get that degree. It combines the best of both without being too heavy on either end. The final degree will be CS but the concentration will be on the software control of the mechanical side through servos and control circuits.
Oh my god, so similar to me and undergrad Law at Cambridge. Idgaf about Law firms and Law Society. I’m graduating (that hated Law degree) this year and will be going on to do a Maths degree (hopefully in the US). Spend your time now a) getting by classes without losing mental health and b) looking for what you actually wanna do/be. It’s easy to get stuck in a degree, but the degree doesn’t define your career/life
Haley, have u thought of taking a gap semester/yr? I feel like it'd be good for u since it can help u figure out what u want to prioritize in ur life (cs vs engineering), while also giving u time to relax and recover from the stress of school. im so glad u made this video, it's gonna help a lot of ppl who are on the same boat as you. Best of luck and sending you the biggest of hugs!! 🤗🤗💗
no because why are we having the same crisis? lol I came to Princeton pre-med, studying Biology but I could care less about doing research or joining a bunch of pre-health clubs. and I see how hard everyone else on this path is working and I feel inadequate and like I'm already behind. I also had a research internship this summer and I really didn't like it.... so now idk what to do and feel like I have to go into consulting/finance because that's just the easiest thing at this point. thank you so much for this video though, I'm so glad I'm not alone!!
Just do the very best you can. Don't let those people who seem to be better academically affect you these people who seem to never get anything less than 100 will sooner or later not do well on something and their whole world comes crashing down since they have never had anything but highscores.
You are absolutely not a failure! You have worked so hard and it is completely normal to want to take a rest and burn out, that just makes us human. You should not feel pressured to do anything you don't want to do in terms of career paths. I know it is hard to balance what you to do and what makes a livable wage, but you should ask yourself what makes you intrinsically motivated and what problems you want solve/what you want to do. That is what someone who is older than both of us told me :). In terms of feeling pressured to pursue certain internships and work in certain companies by your peers, they don't have to live your life, but you do. I hope everything works out in the end and you find your path. I wish you the best. :).
“If we were designed by engineers, as we consumed more, we'd desire less. But our frequent human tragedy is that the more we consume, the hungrier we get.” - Robert Sapolsky
My Nephew Cousin got into University of Pennsylvania and got into a program that 73% of the students drop out 🧐? That's is the norm 🤔 She dropped out also 😢
Your problem seems to be that you haven't done the leg work to know who you are. That's not uncommon, mostly because it takes years of thinking and writing and developing to do. As such you aren't able to answer the question of "what you want to do." A good solution that helped me was doing the Future Authoring program. It helped me out a ton. Don't give up! The fact that you made this channel is an indication that you're willing to be honest with yourself about where you are in life and where you feel you are lacking. That self awareness is rare these days and I think you'll find your way eventually. Good luck👍
A mirage? Talking yourself into it or out of it? There’s your answer. You’ve got this. Who’s better than you? Btw, you just explained the methodology! You’re lightspeed. ❤. #highIQprobs nice and generous making the rest of us feel relevant! Haha.
It is not about being a n A+++ alumnus...it is about being careered successful and wealthy giving back to School Promise Fund.I am an NYU Graduate alumnus minority not seemingly white enough.
My dream career is astrophysics. I always loved it my entire life🙂 then after a year at princeton I find myself struggling with math and physics (avg. student tbh) but ironically all the other classes for degree requirements are easy😭😭😭 like Im good at music and french and whatnot but those arent helping me towards the major🥲 shdonakdnaodh why did i end up here
i really relate to feeling “behind” in life. I graduated from a college prep school but didn’t give a shit about classes and ended up getting a low gpa and going to community college while everyone else I went to highschool with went to big universities. After a year of community college, I took a year off of school entirely to figure out what I wanted to do which made me feel further “behind” because I was comparing myself to other people who were way more successful than me. Honestly, you don’t sound pretentious when you talk about struggling at an Ivy League, in fact it sounds like a really hard environment to feel confident in when everyone else seems to have their lives figured out and you’re just trying to get homework done on time. I guess the most important thing for me was to learn that I am where I am; that I’m on my own path to my own goals independent of everyone else around me.
a lot of people our age deal with problems like this so just know you’re not alone
thats what i try to remind myself of.. thanks for sharing!
Pog advice. Thank u
I just finished my first year at penn and I relate to this vid sm. it was so easy for me to get caught up with comparing myself to everyone else and i felt like a huge imposter half the time
^this!!!
Do you think those top schools, including Ivys better than those not that prestigious, or in ranking 400 500 or 300 in uni ranking worldwide? Do you feel that sth like quality of education or sth else is a little different compared to those? I think you got my point.🙂
UPenn is no joke!
I graduated from the College in 1989! Your story resonates with me and many other alums and we STILL speak about our experiences while there!
Feel free to reach out!
This is the realest Rant about the Ivy League I've ever seen! Thank you!
bahahah im glad you thought it was real
@@haleykang8156 obviously by "real", It's slang term for Honest and Genuine, not full of pretense or virtual signaling. The pressure for professional and academic success is very cutthroat. I always regretted not getting into an Ivy League due to not preparing well for the SAT ( I got an IB Diploma with top tier grades and my friends who got into Ivies had expected me to join them lol. They had prepped for the SATs two years in advance while I rolled off the bed and took it haha). Anyway, I'm a Physician now, making really good money, so going to a state school still turned out to be okay. My advice to you is not to stress too much about not finding your path, it will work itself out in the end. You will come into things that pique your interest and choose your own path. Consulting Firms and Investment Banking have HIGH attrition rates from recent Ivy grads who only chased them for money and realized how soul-crushing the workload was and how underappreciated they were. Software Engineering is a great field as you can easily find your own path, and have greater flexibility. You'll be ok. I know you will. All the best!
i go to another ivy and feeling similarly about being stuck in a major i'm unsure about / comparing myself to other ppl who seem to know exactly what they want ... ur not alone :(
so glad :,)
I'm about to be a freshman at Penn majoring in nursing, and I agree with the whole "I don't know what to do with my life" point of the video so much! I feel like also being separated in a specific nursing school away from all the other majors makes me feel trapped as well. I hope this year isn't too hard.
I'm an incoming freshman @ Penn, and I can already relate to the sentiments shared in this video. College is seen as a launching pad to career success, and I've already started to feel that pressure. Your voice and ideas are important, so I hope you keep posting if that's something you ever have an inclination to do
aw thanks so much -- it means a lot :,)
You're definitely not a failure, and a large percentage of other students probably feel the exact same way. Some of it also depends on which type of people you spend the most time around. Having majored in History at Penn (i.e., a College of Arts & Crafts student), it was less common for people to constantly compare each other and worry about top internships and stuff compared to people in Wharton or Engineering. Some of the pressure can be artificial. Ultimately, happiness and success don't depend on how prestigious your first job is but instead on finding something that you enjoy doing.
As tough as it is getting into Penn, the high wears off real quick when you realize that it is HARD. The classes are HARD, the tests/quizzes, presentations, etc. You are not alone. I am just pushing through and hoping for the best.
Coming from another lvy league and working in one of the company you mentioned, I can relate, and like your video very much. There is a long way ahead beyond college. Find your passion and I believe things will be sorted out.
one day.. haha
Just finished my freshman year at Penn and this has been the most relatable video ever. I was constantly trying to figure out if I was "average" or "below average" and felt pressured to constantly be productive.
I think their problem is the fact most people have an idea of what they wanted to do and seen the timeline as (graduate hs, go to college, get an internship, graduate, then find the job) when there’s so many missing pieces but instead of thinking it out methodically they spend all their time trying to get into their dream school and once they get accepted they think it’s where the road ends and they take their foot off the pedal and get comfortable, that is a mindset that will kill you. The higher up the totem pole you go just means more responsibility on your plate, more eyes on you, and the expectations will only grow and you need to remember that for the rest of your life. I also think the lack of give a fcks came from a bad habit that started to spoil your head. When you mentioned it I was waiting to hear “what made you feel this way.” You said the breakup isn’t an excuse and it’s not but it’s how you reacted to the breakup/tragedy. Tragedy comes in many forms but from how you out it, you took it pretty rough (no judgment), procrastinated once and rather than catching your mistake you decided to do it again and formed a bad habit that also changed your mindset in a negative way. I think it’s crucial that you look back at it, how you reacted, and LEARN from it so YOU KNOW HOW TO MOVE WHEN IT HAPPENS AGAIN. Tragedy will come again. Could be another breakup, could be financial blow, fired from a job, or one day could receive news that someone you held very close to your heart is no longer here. Either way you need to keep it pushin and understand it is not an excuse to take your foot off the gas. This video is a year old but all in all if things are ever going bad I think it’s important you take a day to reflect on not just the negatives and struggles and say it’ll be ok, but what YOU did to get yourself in that situation and what person YOU NEED TO BE to overcome it.
I was SO sure I wanted to get into the medical field, but I don’t want to go to med school. So, now I’m just trying for summer internships and hoping I find something I like. It’s so true getting to college is enough, and I didn’t realize that
can relate so hard. my internships and things i do in general have been allll over the place :/
I’m a Master student at Penn and I have 12+ years of professional experience (where I switched from role to role, and started from scratch multiple times), and guess what?! It’s ok!! For me, even after this experience, I would only be 100% professionally sure if I try smth out either in the job/internship environment or doing it for 10 hours a day every day.
Second part, UPenn’s pre-professional environment is laughable and it only reflects the absolute worse cases of tech/finance. Don't get sucked into it, it’s so not a reflection of the real world.
The last thing, you got time!!!! I am 38 yo and if I can pivot my career you can do it too. Now or later! Take care of yourself and be kind to yourself.
Last thing, if you ever need a mentor or want to talk, please reach out.
One question: is going or giving your energy to try to get into Ivys worth it? What do you think differentiate them positively from other colleges in 300, 400, 500 rank in unis worldwide. Will we get the same quality of education or what the worth of going to Ivy. Nowadays, i try to figure out whether spending my energy on those colleges are really worth it. I also consider China, Because the environment really resonates with me. Hope i was clear.❤
Hi Haley. Thanks for the update video and you're definitely not alone in this. Right now I'm kinda drifting through school but I'm just trusting in myself that things will work out in the end if I work at it. Don't feel pressured to come back to yt but know if you do people will be here for ya.
thanks eric haha. so glad you still remember me after like two years LOL
@@haleykang8156 lol ofc
YES YES! I'm a sophomore at washu & got caught up so much in comparison and feeling like I would never "measure up." inherently comparison comes when you're forcing yourself to follow some preset path, and it's magnified when that path isn't what you actually enjoy. also the job prestige search is 98% fueled by ego- it's not something that really will make a difference in your quality of life or fulfillment even if it feels like a huge deal now. i've found it's best to pursue things i love just for the sake of them, instead of constantly stressing about whether i'm checking off all these boxes for my resume. & then having faith that what you love will lead to something amazing long-term. thanks so much for sharing this message- it's so important to know we're not alone!
Girl I’m in the same boat… randomly chose chemical engineering when applying to college and now switching to CS in the middle of my college career…now i’m taking summer classes to catch up 😭 it’s a struggle, but all will be fine in the end! Any degree from UPenn will get you super far! You got this❤️❤️
they both sound super hard go you!!
aww thank you i hope so haha
Hi Hayley! I just got my penn interview yesterday, and I wanted to tell you what my interviewer told me.
She was a psy major back then and she totally had no idea what to do in the future. Her husband however knew what to do since his first day at Penn. She had a difficult time bc of this: not knowing what to do for the whole 4 yrs while all others did. Still she ended up trying in many different companies after graduation and finally found what she like to do and is now very successful! And it’s actually totally unrelated to psy haha. She told me it’s okay to not know what to do, college is a time for discovery and I want to tell you this too!
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Also I know how terrible you feel rn. I’ve also been best at studying for my whole life yet somehow failed during sophomore year. It was so devastating and I know it’s not sth that others telling you is okay and it’s okay. But I’m still gonna tell you you’ll feel okay one day and we are also experiencing so you’re not alone! Everyone has a phase where they feel hopeless and miserable no matter how hard you work but it’s fine you are still awesome and I like you no matter what your videos are so fun!
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I hope you do well and feel well❤️ your mental health is the top priority !! Take care of yourself and do try not to be too stressed tho it’s hard I can see. Penn will still be my dream school tho😆 good luck!
im an upcoming senior at UCSD and whenever i think about my future in ux/ui and my career, i feel so anxious bc i dont know if i will be successful and if i will even like it
^^this!! i just get anxious anytime i think about it lol
fav college youtuber is back, you got this!
ahhh you have no idea how much that means to me :)
I could understand u. I thought I was relatively smart in some ways since I was one of the top students throughout the primary, middle, and high school. But u know what? When u got out of those small communities, u would get to see a different world with many bright and intelligent people. That transition is pretty hard.
soso hard
I'm an incoming freshman at ucla and I'm already so stressed about my future careers. I've heard from a lot of people about how you "need" a summer after freshman year internship but it's so hard to get one, esp if you're undecided (which I am) because they all need specific majors or whatever and I just feel like I'm already so behind even though I literally haven't started yet.
I love your talk so much, it is so relatable. I'm only a highschool student but the environment here at my school is the same as upenn (cause it is an asian school) It took me almost 2.5 years to get used to this competitive studying environment. I thought I am the only one who went through this but no, there is also a person like u too who is even smarter, cooler than me. Thank you so much sis! Just keep moving forward! I will always be here supporting u :333
You don't know girl!!! listening to your venting,i feel light in my heart too. idk why but I was feeling the same -the struggles,the falling behind mindset,everyone's boasting about their accomplishments. Its too much but at the end of day,we have to go beyond,girl! SLAYYYYYY
thank you for being so open about your struggle at penn. i hope that junior year is better for you, and maybe i'll see you on campus :)
ahh yes feel free to say hi :)
thank you for making this video! It really helped me. Going through kinda of the same but in high school
Hey! Your struggles are totally valid at these schools. I graduated from Berkeley/Duke undergrad. Take time to explore your interests in college. I know it’s a stressful time, but Penn has so many resources for exploration. The only constant thing in life is change. I’ve learned while a plan is nice, be open to it changing. The likelihood of you changing careers and jobs multiple times in your working life is high, and this is also comforting. We can learn, relearn and adapt. You may go into engineering but then realize a few years later that another career path is better suited! You don’t have to have it figured out, I and many of my classmates certainly didn’t! Life after college is grand, and you will have plenty of time to explore, pívot, etc.
Even if you go a traditional route like many Penn students (MBB/tech) that’s okay. You may love it or pívot to something else!
Not career but also,
Focus on fostering wholesome friendships in college. You’ll be really glad you did :)
Great talk. People usually don't know what they want to do. It's fluid and changes once you are in the moment of studies. The job world is totally different. Some people go to college thinking they know what they want and then regretting the decision. I think you are totally fine 🙂. The experience is fluidity throughout the college years. 😄
잘 듣고가요~ 제아들이 이번에 유펜에 기계공학에 들어갔는데.... 왜 그렇게 클럽 어플리케이션 작성으로 바빴는지 알겠네요.
N'inquiétez pas! J'ai senti le même chose quand j'étais dans l'université. Je n'avais aucnne idée ce quoi je voulais faire à cette époque. À mon avis, maintenant, surtout avec la grande démission, tout le monde ne veut plus travailler. Donc, essentiallment, je recommend que tu choisis quelle chose pour étudier, sauf si tu le détester, et n'oublies pas, ce n'est pas permanent. Même les gens qui étaient vraiment serieux et certain de ce quoi ils voulaient faire subissent le sentiment aujourd'hui de fatigué, sans les espoir, etc. En effect, une raison pour le mouvement "quiet quitting". Donc, tout ira bien! Bon chance
i'll be an incoming freshman but not to an ivy league school so even tho i may not experience everything you said in the video, im glad you shared your experience with us. especially the negative sides that not many people talk about. ur journey feels like a wakeup call for me this year. i am sincerely cheering you on and i hope things will work out for you!!
"play the game" or don't play the game... it sounds competitive, but everything in the grand scheme of things will be fine!! ignore the pretentious rats. there is so much more to one's career beyond that first job, don't compare yourself to others, focus on you!!!
thanks!
This video is literally me right now 🤷♂️
Penn just hard man.
I finished my first year @Wharton and feel kinda lost about which career to go into. Not choosing the right one means even more grinding 👌
I feel the same way, it's so hard. I haven't even been able to make new friends yet. I feel so sad and stressed.
but if, mentally, u take urself outside the ivy league bubble, you're actually doing great compared to the outside world. It's just the environment you are in. "ivy league failure" sounds like an oxymoron to me but I completely understand why you feel like that, considering your social and financial pressures. I hope it gets better. My guess is many, many people feel like this at your school too but they won't admit it because of their pride - at least you're brave enough to say it out loud. anyways, good luck my friend! I have a big feeling everything will eventually work out one way or another.
Hey Haley, how are you doing these days? I can totally related to your story. I changed my major 3 times already over the years. First started as physic education major in South Korea, CS at UIUC, and then studied Computer graphics at graduate school. Now I work as a quant programmer. It is okay to change majors in the middle. My undergrad years was terrible because I was surrounded by geniuses.
I really recommend taking a gap year and there are some tests available to find out one's personality and strong points for their career. I forgot the tests' name, though. Also reach out to get help from any student counselor or career center. Your problem is very common one in any competitive school. There is help available. You just have to actively look for it. If taking a gap year does not affect your financial package, please consider taking one. That one year could save more years to come.
3rd & 4th year classes are going to be even worse alongside graduate students. They are graded separately, yet still fuel undergraduate inferiority. I was surprised that you are an engineering student because you sounded like a business major(not finance) from other videos. If you really decide CS is your thing, you can use gap year to catch up and try to transfer to CS department. There are a lot of online classes available for CS courses. Doing CS minor on top of major course that you are struggling with in a highly competitive school like UPenn is not really a good idea. Upper level CS course require a lot of time to do assignments. If you transfer to CS department, you will be able to keep a lot of requirement courses and major courses can be used towards electives credits.
Remember there are help available. Look for the people who can help. Don't be restricted by financial aid. Try not to avoid the problem by going out. Having fun to get the stress out is one thing, but buoying without direction is another. You are not the only who struggles with this problem.
People feel imposter syndrome at one point in their lives. Smart ones start feeling it later in college, graduate school, or in their career whereas a lot of your elementary school friends might already felt and already adjusted their career path. It is okay to feel that way, but you have to know that you are there because you are qualified to be there. You are just as good as your friends are. This is what my graduate school director has told us on the first day. Many professors tell the same thing to their students. You just have to figure out the direction. I hope this helps.
ahhh i felt this so much and i don't even go to an ivy league!! love the video!!
Hello Im a senior in high school and let me just say you are definitely not alone!
Right now I’m trying to figure out my career and I really want to do a 2 year to 4 year transition for money reasons and to figure out my career and IT FEELS SOO WRONG
Everyone around me is going to 4 years and talking about graduating early to buy apartments and doing all of this stuff and it just feels like I’m so underdeveloped…
And I’m the type of person who likes stability and likes things going on a steady course and to feel so uncertain about where I am right now just gives me so much existential anxiety in such a period of my life where I feel like I should be growing instead of worrying
But something my dad told me recently is that
I’m in a race with myself… and to not get caught up in what everyone else is doing because at the end of the day it won’t matter
He told me it’s okay to be aware of what’s going on but to not get caught up in it…
And I know it’s easier said than done and I can’t even imagine how it may be in a Ivy League but I know from some research I done that there’s a lot of different ways to get into certain careers and change course
I was watching a channel Angelica Song I believe and her videos have really comforted me lately and she has one on the Tech Industry that you might find helpful ❤
I wish you luck on your journey and you are not alone! We are human and we are constantly learning about ourselves in school and out of school ❤❤
Sounds like you are crossed between the desire to study MechE and CS. So may I suggest that you look into Embedded Software. I think that you will be pleasantly surprised and may want to research the courses to take to get that degree. It combines the best of both without being too heavy on either end. The final degree will be CS but the concentration will be on the software control of the mechanical side through servos and control circuits.
I feel the same way about Algebra 2 Honors, my first C tests
Oh my god, so similar to me and undergrad Law at Cambridge. Idgaf about Law firms and Law Society. I’m graduating (that hated Law degree) this year and will be going on to do a Maths degree (hopefully in the US).
Spend your time now a) getting by classes without losing mental health and b) looking for what you actually wanna do/be. It’s easy to get stuck in a degree, but the degree doesn’t define your career/life
i’m literally coming to penn to study mech eng😭 genuinely scared of imposter syndrome and penn face🤩
im sure youll do great :) freshmen year is meant for adjusting
Haley, have u thought of taking a gap semester/yr? I feel like it'd be good for u since it can help u figure out what u want to prioritize in ur life (cs vs engineering), while also giving u time to relax and recover from the stress of school. im so glad u made this video, it's gonna help a lot of ppl who are on the same boat as you. Best of luck and sending you the biggest of hugs!! 🤗🤗💗
no because why are we having the same crisis? lol I came to Princeton pre-med, studying Biology but I could care less about doing research or joining a bunch of pre-health clubs. and I see how hard everyone else on this path is working and I feel inadequate and like I'm already behind. I also had a research internship this summer and I really didn't like it.... so now idk what to do and feel like I have to go into consulting/finance because that's just the easiest thing at this point. thank you so much for this video though, I'm so glad I'm not alone!!
Just do the very best you can. Don't let those people who seem to be better academically affect you these people who seem to never get anything less than 100 will sooner or later not do well on something and their whole world comes crashing down since they have never had anything but highscores.
You are absolutely not a failure! You have worked so hard and it is completely normal to want to take a rest and burn out, that just makes us human. You should not feel pressured to do anything you don't want to do in terms of career paths. I know it is hard to balance what you to do and what makes a livable wage, but you should ask yourself what makes you intrinsically motivated and what problems you want solve/what you want to do. That is what someone who is older than both of us told me :). In terms of feeling pressured to pursue certain internships and work in certain companies by your peers, they don't have to live your life, but you do. I hope everything works out in the end and you find your path. I wish you the best. :).
aw thank you sm :D
“If we were designed by engineers, as we consumed more, we'd desire less. But our frequent human tragedy is that the more we consume, the hungrier we get.” - Robert Sapolsky
You could make your goal is changing the world to better , thanks for sharing your knowledge.
would you be able to share what the computer science bootcamp was? :)
Have you ever consider taking a gap year/semester or transferring?
My Nephew Cousin got into University of Pennsylvania and got into a program that 73% of the students drop out 🧐? That's is the norm 🤔 She dropped out also 😢
Your problem seems to be that you haven't done the leg work to know who you are. That's not uncommon, mostly because it takes years of thinking and writing and developing to do. As such you aren't able to answer the question of "what you want to do."
A good solution that helped me was doing the Future Authoring program. It helped me out a ton.
Don't give up! The fact that you made this channel is an indication that you're willing to be honest with yourself about where you are in life and where you feel you are lacking. That self awareness is rare these days and I think you'll find your way eventually. Good luck👍
A mirage? Talking yourself into it or out of it? There’s your answer. You’ve got this. Who’s better than you? Btw, you just explained the methodology! You’re lightspeed. ❤. #highIQprobs nice and generous making the rest of us feel relevant! Haha.
Haleyyyy we’ve missed you🥹
hi!!! so sorry its been so long :((
Ok…now I am worried if Penn is really the place that fits me…
no im sure youll love it!!! i promise i love penn (maybe even more than i dislike it haha). the video just focused on the negatives
Just ask your self , are you doing your best ? If yes just ignore any negative feedback that all what you can do it is not your bad . And good luck .
I am courting a Seminary bound/ Teacher mom Philipina.
Hi haley! My birthday was last Saturday
ahhh happy belated birthday david!!
Penn is my dream school but Wharton culture definitely makes it seem depressing for the rest of the student body
Hey Haley! We missed you!! How your doing well bby 💕
hi! making it through life and trying my hardest haha
@@haleykang8156 that’s good to hear. 💕
hiii haleyyy
hi brian!!!
good luck. girl)) u can do it 👍
Try hard to pass the first two years (low division), then upper division will be easy.😆 Never give up.
It is not about being a n A+++ alumnus...it is about being careered successful and wealthy giving back to School Promise Fund.I am an NYU Graduate alumnus minority not seemingly white enough.
Your voice is so different now
Hey!
beau!! hi!!
are you a libra
dude you are so cute i’m sorry i just had to say it
HI
hi
My dream career is astrophysics. I always loved it my entire life🙂 then after a year at princeton I find myself struggling with math and physics (avg. student tbh) but ironically all the other classes for degree requirements are easy😭😭😭 like Im good at music and french and whatnot but those arent helping me towards the major🥲 shdonakdnaodh why did i end up here