Gender Affirmation - Part One
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- Опубликовано: 10 сен 2024
- What are many of those struggling with Same-Gender Attraction really longing for? Why do so many young men ask "Am I gay?" This video is simply an introduction to some ideas regarding Gender-Affirmation and the unmet needs of young men today.
Thanks so much Dan, for creating and posting this touching video. I can so closely relate to the deep, unmet need for male affection, attention, closeness, bonding. It's probably my deepest yearning in my life. I missed out on all of this as a child, and all through my 53 years. I did not have any positive male role models growing up. Just abusive and neglectful. Physical and psychological abuse, neglect and torture. Sexual assault. I didn't bond to any men. I just feared and avoided them. This left me with an almost insatiable need for closeness and intimacy with other men. To this day. I am very much physically attracted to men, but it's not about sex at all. It's about there being a void, a vacuum that leaves me feeling so empty and incomplete.
I completly agree with Idsteencenter. It is just natural that all men young or mature,need,long and must have a positive same sex affirmation and affection. Otherwise, that lack of affirmation might lead to an homosexual tendency. The act of intercourse between two men is a contradiction in itself,it is the frustrating search of one man of his own masculinity trough the others embodiement.Not bizarre,perhaps complex and deep,but true.
intimacy and sexual drive are usually two distinct drives in the male mind. When a guy fantasizes repeatedly about sticking his unit in another guy it is labelled as homosexual. When he just wants a hug from another guy that is intimacy
This wasn't meant to describe everyone that deals with Same-Gender Attraction. All I'm asking is that we recognize that this is what some people are dealing with. We can't throw everyone into any single category, including the "born this way and can't change" category.
It's called "A Really Good Cloak" from the movie Crash.
I know of many gay men who have gone through Evergreen and LDS social services who have come out of the experience just as gay as when they went in except often having a much deeper understanding of themselves as gay men.
I am expecting a lot of resistance on this video simply because it deals with a controversial subject. I don't understand why anyone would disagree that our real desire is to love and be loved, but I'm still expecting it.
Interesting. I think male affection is indeed becoming more and more taboo, which allows both gay behavior and less male affection to respond and exacerbate each other. I hope my family some day can have healthy relationships. Thanks for the post.
I can't think of anyone that would disagree with that.
Also, I understand that even those who have such strong father son relationships, even in the Church, still maintain such same sex attraction.
A scripture comes to mind: "I do not know the meaning of all things. Nevertheless I know that God loveth His children."
I know that as well, and no matter what, God has made a way for them to recieve eternal life and exaltation. He loves them. And only He adequately understands what they go through. All gay LDS should seek a strong relationship with Him
Read "Real Boys" by William Pollack. He goes into the need for 'father-son' male affection and the Boy Code that has been placed on society. He also talks about SSA. A good read.
If this video is drawing a distinction between attraction to the same gender and attraction to the same sex it's probably valid. Sex with the same gender is doubtless seen by some young men as a second-best alternative to gender bonding which may be more difficult to obtain. However, the two may of course occur in the same person.
This kind of hollow argument can be used against pretty much anyone. I think this video really says a lot more about you and whomever you are representing than it ever does about gay people.
I read the ex-gay books til I was 37 years old at which point I took a leave of absence from work to enroll myself in an ex-gay ministry. Always the same old theories - distanced from my same sex parent, over-protective mother, ridiculed by peers, etc. I finally came to realize, through study of the scriptures, that God made me this way and He's fine with it. This video cloaked in all its "niceness" carries with it the same undercurrent of shame and condemnation as my 1st 37 years. Ignore it.
Yep and you can be a gay man like me and have heterosexual friends who are men whom you are not attracted to sexually or romantically and have lifelong friendships. I know because I have several heterosexual male friends who love and care about me just as I am. There are also men I am attracted to and some whom I have dated in the past and another whom I am currently going steady with whom I love.
And of course using sex as a substitute for affection is a problem that involves heterosexuals as well, especially in our increasingly atomised society. Casual sex in an alleyway between a boy and a girl on the way home from the pub is felt to be better than no contact at all.
Sexual addiction is another problem that affects all sexualities, increasingly so in modern life. These issues are nothing much to do with sexual orientation.
No I'm just annoyed by it as it has a strong and very clear agenda.
I don't believe that cause was mentioned in the video. There was no attempt to explain why. It doesn't say that every gay person feels that way or that this is "correcting being gay." It says that there are people who want non-sexual male affection and end up turning to sexual relationships to find it. Two that feel that way, and that openly deal with same-sex attraction, were quoted in the video. There is a group with few places to turn outside of the gay community if they want male affection.
I mean..."This video isn't about you. It's about other people. You shouldn't feel threatened by it."
Interesting you should bring that up, because CS Lewis says the same thing. He cites the current state of sexual promiscuity throughout the world and says that you have to conclude that the population is either sex-deprived and starving for it or over-sexed and addicted.
Just a brief comment - I had trouble understanding your point and if you were agreeing with philips, I had trouble understanding if he agreed with or disagreed with the video. But a more important note, this video has nothing to do with the LDS Church. These are not Mormon beliefs, so I don't see how it could be ammo to "Mormon Bashers."
Hey...just some advice...quoting the AMA and APA might not be the best argument. They change depending on whatever the current political and psychological beliefs are at the time.
Obviously you missed the mid-section of the video. To say that only gay men crave male affection is to call just about every young boy gay. Also, it's a fairly recent phenomena for guys to not show non-sexual affection with their buddies in the US.
what does this video mean by "appropriately"?
do you think male-male sex is particularly inappropriate from heterosexual sex?
Then what of my lack of attraction/sexual response towards women? ... Believe me (and not to be crass), I've been close with girlfriends who were "willing". But nothing happened because I didn't want it? You must conclude then that many cured homosexuals (if given affection) will become asexual.
Seriously? Isn't it the Church who has thrown most everyone who is gay into one category for decades? They still have a long way to go even though they have made some progress over the years mostly because of so many gay people who are LDS coming out to their families and society forcing the Church to make some changes.
Interestingly...I think you're right on a lot of what you said.
But there is a difference between males and females, and not just physically. Where did you get the idea that one has to be better than the other? That doesn't even make sense. You think because there's a difference there has to be a ranking or something?
just remember this sort of thing is ammo to mormon bashers to
lol. Yeah...I did read. Thanks for the sarcasm. What I am saying is that nothing said or shown in any way implies that one is better than another. You're the only one bringing that up. The video certainly didn't bring it up.
It seems like most people in the comments are creating arguments that aren't in the video. They're transferring their own defenses on to what the video is saying.
and part 2?
I disagree. Homosexuality is the act coupled with the desire. If you don't act, you aren't a homosexual. And I believe there is a difference between same-sex attraction and same-gender attraction.
I really don't get it.
Why are you saying that what he is doing is wrong?
That's his free will and choice to think about it this way. Dont you guys want to live your lives how you think it is right?
And aren't you fighting for respect and so on. I really don't get it why especially you guys are so disrespectful to those that doesn't share your believes and think differently about dealing with same sex attraction.
I will never label myself as homosexual only because Im attracted to men!
"not one is better than the other"
try reading
Umm...this video isn't about the Church. Even if it was, I don't think the Church has lumped any groups that society hasn't.
Oh. Alright.
Homosexuality is not the lack of male affection anymore than heterosexuality is the lack of opposite sex affection. To be drawn into this simplistic Joseph Nicolosi/Elizabeth Moberly argument shows a great deal of ignorance on this subject. Educate yourselves people.
I don't believe this video ever dealt with how or why you are this way. And again, if this doesn't describe your situation, then the video isn't about you and you shouldn't feel threatened by it. There are many individuals living straight lifestyles right now. Their existence does not have to discredit yours.
and i am sorry if i ranted
i ment it is not a chose sorry bet my sentances mixed up
right I have been hurt by this form of thinking if it was not for my farther i would have killed myself my farther hours with us as children and know showing this bull hocky to young children i and descuted
it is up to the individual to deside you are speeking to people who grow up in mormon families they are well ajusted enviroments and this sort of thing desrtroys families iam sorry but for years this bull has been said
idsteencenter...what education do you have?
homosexuality
IS
same-sex attraction
THAT'S WHAT IT IS.
Once again...this video has absolutely nothing to do with the LDS church and this video is not promoting anything political. It is speaking to a very specific group of people which apparently threatens you.
i disagree that been gay or as you put it (same sex attraction) is not a chosies nether is it a call for male bonding due to the lack and people who hate the LDS church will take it and start twisting it to fit thire own agument you should rely put the chuches stans on it cleaerly
there's nothing wrong with being homosexual...there is everything wrong with trying to imply people shouldn't be one way just because you think so
That's very convenient for you to say that. Very convenient and very irresponsible because it just is not true.
get a dictionary.
anyone can put words together with cheesy music to justify what they believe.
homosexuality
IS
same-sex attraction.
straight guys who are just attracted to the same gender or who want to be around the same gender--and still like girls are called heterosexuals.
that's what it means.
people are who they are. it's just that simple.
This is misinformed.