I feel you. I was born in 73 ,so,I believe at some point early on in my childhood, they had a candy bowl .It changed at some point. When I decided on recovery,I just let myself I cant go back.Gosh,I wish I could say something that helps you . I was terrified to gsin more weight because I once was a low weight but I gained a lot of weight dieting. It's hard to explain,but I was over 200 pounds when I started ,knowing I would gain more because my metabolism was so slow.I did t want to gain mkre6,but I wanted to be able to eat without gaining weight and I was not feeling well physically. I didnt teeter on yes or no anymore.It was just yes.There wasnt any structure, just eat and there were a lot of questions in my head everyday ,that I searched for approval and there wasnt a lot for people my size doing this.It feels like you're being shamed for eatimg when youre my size.I actually was.People I knkw would say,You need to exercise to lose weight and you must be eating too much,do you need to eat thatIt really made me do confused.I told them that I have a restrictive eating disorder and they didnt believe me.Its embarrassing everytime I would eat in front of someone ,when I was trying to eat more than the lowered cals I had been eating. I have managed to stick with it because I do make better decisions when I'm fed.Maybe your ed brain is telling you no.Your situation is different than mine , but ifs not as hard as you think and it doesnt have to be perfect. Just watching people eat freely was inspiring. I watched Elzanis channel and so many others and my situation is very different than hers too.I was ljke,maybe this recovery doesnt apply to me because I'm not in an underweight body.It messed with me,but I still stuck with it and searched for similar stories to mine .I have an eating disordered mind ,so I want to help people.Youre probably never gonna be satisfied with your body,but feeling good and not thinking of food and your sickness every minute of everday feels way better than sick. I hope my comment doesn't frustrate you.I really wish I could get you to see it's easier to recover than to stay sick.When I doubt this process ,I tell myself,why would i ignore my hunger ,my body is telling me something and it must be right.I follow my body's signal and that is true.I believe my body knows better than me and it will figure out where to be if I feed it.
I can see why a candy bowl would be a bit counterintuitive at dentist offices ;) Thank you so much for sharing your experience throughout the recovery journey. Your commitment to healing is so strong and it must have taken incredible dedication and grit to keep pushing forward despite feedback from society implying that nourishing your body/recovering is "wrong" because of your particular body's size. That sounds phenomenally difficult, and I'm sorry that there aren't more people on RUclips and in the recovery community as a whole who you feel like you can relate to... Eating disorders are already lonely enough! Keep pushing forward, I'm right there with you :)
My goodness you have been the recipient of so much abuse. It is ok to eat! Weight does not influence hunger and satiety...food does. I hope this is ok, but I've found an amazing podcast and masterclass. Please check out ALL FIRED UP and UNTRAPPED. Both are produced by Louise Adams. I love this woman! BTW, I too got candy at the dentist! Born in 1973💕💕💕
@@sarahlovesdonuts9601 thank you for your caring reply. I will check her podcast out.Go, "73".What month is your birthday?So funny that candy was the treat after a dental appt.
Rachael my friend, anorexia is a brain and heart-eating zombie. Once that zombie snacks on my brain, I just might become dumb, so no more fasting for me. As a nurse, I know that you appreciate science just as I do. There is a correlation between chronic anorexia and early-onset dementia. This scares the crap out of me., so I'm eating all of the carbs for my little brain. I'm not going to forget how much support that you have given me. Weight gain is a win. Diet Culture has built an empire based on bad and manipulated science. This is a 66 billion dollar industry that uses rhetoric to sell programs that are designed to fail. We are not meant to be rail-thin. Gaining weight and refusing to listen to diet culture is the victory. I hope that my rant isn't offensive. I so want you to feel better and grab onto recovery. Love Sarah💕💕💕
It never ceases to amaze me how individuals with a background in the physical sciences can STILL struggle so much. And yes, the prospect of long term cognitive deficits scares me to no end... Again, crazy that those concerns can be so strong and yet the ED is still so convinving. That being said, I don't take offense by any means. We WILL fight the disorder, feed our brains and bodies... and in doing so ensure much happier futures. Thank you, as always!
i am so with you i promise myself tomorrow will be better and the next day i think just one more day and tomorrow will be different that along with weighing everything aswell as myself I know the way out but like you dipping my toe in to recovery just makes me just relapse even worse. someone said to me acceptance is the way forward. so my mantra is I am enough i dont need to be smaller to be enough! xx
You are one brave, honest warrior lady My mantra is: may I be strong, may I be healthy, maybe I be safe, may I live with ease. Namaste beautiful Rachel xx
Hi Rachael.. I feel compelled to reach out. Just a few months ago I felt the same way.. stuck in my anorexia.. desperate and terrified. I have been trying to get out of the horrific trap of this eating disorder for 40 years. I was so hopeless. I want you to know that there is hope. I finally found some help that opened the door to recover.
I'm so glad that you were able to find the help you yearned for so desperately and are finally getting to experience the freedom you (and all of us!) deserve! Thank you for the message of hope, it brings me comfort and I'm sure will do the same for anyone else who might read your comment.
I feel you.
I was born in 73 ,so,I believe at some point early on in my childhood, they had a candy bowl .It changed at some point.
When I decided on recovery,I just let myself I cant go back.Gosh,I wish I could say something that helps you .
I was terrified to gsin more weight because I once was a low weight but I gained a lot of weight dieting. It's hard to explain,but I was over 200 pounds when I started ,knowing I would gain more because my metabolism was so slow.I did t want to gain mkre6,but I wanted to be able to eat without gaining weight and I was not feeling well physically.
I didnt teeter on yes or no anymore.It was just yes.There wasnt any structure, just eat and there were a lot of questions in my head everyday ,that I searched for approval and there wasnt a lot for people my size doing this.It feels like you're being shamed for eatimg when youre my size.I actually was.People I knkw would say,You need to exercise to lose weight and you must be eating too much,do you need to eat thatIt really made me do confused.I told them that I have a restrictive eating disorder and they didnt believe me.Its embarrassing everytime I would eat in front of someone ,when I was trying to eat more than the lowered cals I had been eating. I have managed to stick with it because I do make better decisions when I'm fed.Maybe your ed brain is telling you no.Your situation is different than mine , but ifs not as hard as you think and it doesnt have to be perfect.
Just watching people eat freely was inspiring. I watched Elzanis channel and so many others and my situation is very different than hers too.I was ljke,maybe this recovery doesnt apply to me because I'm not in an underweight body.It messed with me,but I still stuck with it and searched for similar stories to mine .I have an eating disordered mind ,so I want to help people.Youre probably never gonna be satisfied with your body,but feeling good and not thinking of food and your sickness every minute of everday feels way better than sick.
I hope my comment doesn't frustrate you.I really wish I could get you to see it's easier to recover than to stay sick.When I doubt this process ,I tell myself,why would i ignore my hunger ,my body is telling me something and it must be right.I follow my body's signal and that is true.I believe my body knows better than me and it will figure out where to be if I feed it.
I can see why a candy bowl would be a bit counterintuitive at dentist offices ;) Thank you so much for sharing your experience throughout the recovery journey. Your commitment to healing is so strong and it must have taken incredible dedication and grit to keep pushing forward despite feedback from society implying that nourishing your body/recovering is "wrong" because of your particular body's size. That sounds phenomenally difficult, and I'm sorry that there aren't more people on RUclips and in the recovery community as a whole who you feel like you can relate to... Eating disorders are already lonely enough! Keep pushing forward, I'm right there with you :)
My goodness you have been the recipient of so much abuse. It is ok to eat! Weight does not influence hunger and satiety...food does. I hope this is ok, but I've found an amazing podcast and masterclass. Please check out ALL FIRED UP and UNTRAPPED. Both are produced by Louise Adams. I love this woman! BTW, I too got candy at the dentist! Born in 1973💕💕💕
@@rachaelerinrecovers6099 Thank you, Rachael.I feel for you and your situation.
@@sarahlovesdonuts9601 thank you for your caring reply. I will check her podcast out.Go, "73".What month is your birthday?So funny that candy was the treat after a dental appt.
@@ricebowl6864 likewise. I hope my sharing doesn't make you feel further isolated 😐💕
Rachael my friend, anorexia is a brain and heart-eating zombie. Once that zombie snacks on my brain, I just might become dumb, so no more fasting for me. As a nurse, I know that you appreciate science just as I do. There is a correlation between chronic anorexia and early-onset dementia. This scares the crap out of me., so I'm eating all of the carbs for my little brain. I'm not going to forget how much support that you have given me. Weight gain is a win. Diet Culture has built an empire based on bad and manipulated science. This is a 66 billion dollar industry that uses rhetoric to sell programs that are designed to fail. We are not meant to be rail-thin. Gaining weight and refusing to listen to diet culture is the victory. I hope that my rant isn't offensive. I so want you to feel better and grab onto recovery. Love Sarah💕💕💕
It never ceases to amaze me how individuals with a background in the physical sciences can STILL struggle so much. And yes, the prospect of long term cognitive deficits scares me to no end... Again, crazy that those concerns can be so strong and yet the ED is still so convinving. That being said, I don't take offense by any means. We WILL fight the disorder, feed our brains and bodies... and in doing so ensure much happier futures. Thank you, as always!
i am so with you i promise myself tomorrow will be better and the next day i think just one more day and tomorrow will be different that along with weighing everything aswell as myself I know the way out but like you dipping my toe in to recovery just makes me just relapse even worse. someone said to me acceptance is the way forward. so my mantra is I am enough i dont need to be smaller to be enough! xx
You have always been and will always be way way WAY more than enough, my friend :)
You are one brave, honest warrior lady
My mantra is: may I be strong, may I be healthy, maybe I be safe, may I live with ease.
Namaste beautiful Rachel xx
What an absolutely lovely mantra! I am holding that for us both. Namaste, my friend
Hi Rachael.. I feel compelled to reach out. Just a few months ago I felt the same way.. stuck in my anorexia.. desperate and terrified. I have been trying to get out of the horrific trap of this eating disorder for 40 years. I was so hopeless. I want you to know that there is hope. I finally found some help that opened the door to recover.
I'm so glad that you were able to find the help you yearned for so desperately and are finally getting to experience the freedom you (and all of us!) deserve! Thank you for the message of hope, it brings me comfort and I'm sure will do the same for anyone else who might read your comment.