On exposure to FEAR, hyperarousal and a snoring partner. Insomnia Q&A
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- Опубликовано: 26 июл 2024
- Answering some of the sleep recovery questions from my community members.
00:00 Intro
01:33 Intentionally exposing yourself to the fearful event to overcome the fear of it
06:45 Can we get our brain used to hyperarousal by accepting it?
11:17 How to learn to accept wakefulness
12:50 Feeling anxious while sleeping well
14:49 Tips for sleeping next to a partner
18:06 Snoring husband
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DISCLAIMER: Not medical advice. Everything on this channel represents personal opinion and experience and is provided for informational purposes only. The author is not a medical doctor, psychotherapist or any other licensed professional. Any information on this channel does not constitute and/or substitute medical, psychotherapy, counselling or any other professional advice and treatment. It is not intended to treat, cure, diagnose any medical or psychological condition or disorder. Always seek professional licensed help if you have any health concerns.
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Hi Alina, hyperarousal is my main issue right now. I'm no longer afraid of not sleeping, I'm afraid of the next day. The day with higher cortisol produces endless mind chatter. If I can get to 6 o'clock pm then my thoughts slow down. Also, I've always been a late riser and have never been a morning person and I beat myself up about it and think its a flaw. Do you think it is? So for me I try to sleep till late in morning to avoid the morning for now. Also, I no longer care what time I go to sleep, so some nights it might be 3-4 am before I attempt to sleep. I have been able to stay in bed peacefully from 6-11 am usually. Thanks
Thank you for this great Q and A, very helpful.
Hello Alina. First of all thanks for all the useful content you post. It's really helpful.
After watching your content and Daniel's I feel I can safely say I am decently educated on the topic. Much more than when this whole insomnia started. The thing is even with all this knowledge, I still find myself having palpitations and awful nights. Even if I am calmed and not fearful of having a sleepless night. My brain understand these concepts but It is like my body needs a lot of time to catch up with my brain.
How time did it take for you to start feeling what your brain had already learned after watching videos and educating yourself? I understand it can't be right away, but if this goes on too long, it's a bit discouraging. Thanks a lot :)
Hi Albert! The journey for me was pretty long and I described it in this video ruclips.net/video/FrHYJzO6UHg/видео.html where I talk about the timeline and how different stages felt like - I believe the answer to your question is there!
Your first question is exactly what I experienced by try to use paradoxical intension to face my fear of being awake. And your suggestion is great! But usually in those moments, it’s quite hard to find a n enjoyable occupation to do. Could you suggest any passive thing that I can do to get the same effect that you suggest?
Thanks
Thank you for answering my question about sleeping next to my snoring husband. For me the idea alone is triggering and I know that it will take some time getting my brain to understand that there is no threat. Last week I tried it for an hour and got very frustrated and moved to the spare bed. But that is oke. Now I don't want to try it again but I also know that it would be good to do and show courrage. I slept next to him a couple of years with some frustrstion. I will get there.
Thank you your such a great help to us all!
Anytime Karin! And take as much time as you need, you can't go wrong if you listen to your body ❤️
Hello Alina, sleep has shifted for me since the last time I commented (I feel less
Hyperaroused). But i still wake up several times in the night. Most of the time I can lull myself back to sleep other times I’m up for a few hours. The change is that I’m not fighting it anymore which made sleep even worse believe it or (cause it’s still poor). My question is, I still have fear of this situation, mostly because I don’t like it.and fear it is ruining my health. i don’t like that I feel terrible everyday because of it and I miss the old days of sleeping like a metaphoric log. I do take medicine (anti histamine every night) my husband has been helping me by giving me the dose so I don’t see how large or small it is. What I have found is a bit of a psychological dependence where I fear not taking the meds but simultaneously don’t want to take them because I don’t like how they make me feel either. The goal is one day he will say you literally had barely any of the pill and I can snap myself out of needing to take medicine to sleep. Cause i will have the proof. I also just find that I can’t just sleep on cue. When someone says go take a nap it’s very triggering to me because it feels Iike pressure the only time I can fall asleep is when I know it’s bedtime. How do i disentangle all these silly rules i made for myself? It feels impossible to go back to the ay things were where if i wanted sleep, I slept. What are your thoughts?
Hi Alina,
When I try to practice awake fullness, I experienced something that I wonder if you had the same:
In the beginning I’m fully awake (my eyes open). Then somehow I feel dosing out (not sleepy but want to close my eyes). Now my question: should I force myself to be fully awake (by open my eyes) or by letting 6:46 my feeling Togo on (dose out). In that instance I know I’m still awake! Thanks
Hi Alina, thank you so much for your work. I especially struggle with insomnia on nights when I get home later than I usually do, which is not even that late at all. But the knowledge that I have increasingly limited amount of hours to sleep results in a lot of panic and a whole night of being awake. How do I overcome this? I’ve developed a real fear that kicks in if I am not in bed by a certain time. Please help!
That's a totally understandable struggle. People even without insomnia feel the pressure of early rising and find themselves sleeping less. I find that knowing that even with enough time for sleep you still can't change the nature of sleep can help us let go of chasing sleep - it can come at any moment when the body decides it is time and there is nothing we can do about it. So whether it is 5h till the rise or 8h - doesn't matter. Sleep will come on its own terms. In a meanwhile, how can you make sure you put less pressure on yourself?
Hi alina ,, its been 5 months now i still wakeup in the middle of night,, i got the knowledge to what to do when we wakeup and all,, but is just not working for me i guess 😭😢,,, what to do
You know, waking up as such isn't the problem, we all (all human beings) wake up at night multiple times at the end of each sleep cycle. If you look at a hypnogram of a "normal" sleeper you will see it, eg. here commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Sleep_Hypnogram.svg
Some of those awakenings don't stay in our memory but they still happen. I think the moment we stop resisting to something so natural, the less they will bother us..
Thanks alina for the reply but when i wake up i cannot fall back to sleep,, only hyper sleep