Don't convince your wife,if she wants a divorce respect her choice,just like how you have a choice of marrying another woman! She has a choice of divorcing you...
@@kinglaw1882 Even if she doesn't like her husband's face, she has a right to divorce and separation, a woman has a right to decide if she wants to live with that man or not.... No one is forced to stay with a person they don't want to live with, and that is why allah has given rights, who are you to decide?
why dont you point out that men mostly want the second wife due to them not lowering their gaze? most of these men find the second wife by cheating on the first and then marrying the second one. how is that normal
Afaik, if he is providing roof, food, clothing and observing all the rights of all the women he marries and treats all of them fairly (buying each equal value in gifts) then they have no right to ask for a divorce? Note, thats if he can accomplish all his financial and moral responsibilities, if he cannot then she can have a legitimate cause to ask for a divorce. Isn't this situation good for the women? They're having their rights fulfuilled and they don't have to sleep with the man as much to uphold their end of the deal lol.
@@lemmejustreadthethings But she doesn't love you anymore! You can't force someone to love it comes from the heart! If you marry another woman your first wife will not love you meaning she can't be intimate with you then what's the point of keeping a depressed person under your responsibility? Just let her go before she murders you at night!
@@nami20622 Tbh that's what I'd do because I don't want my wife to not enjoy our marriage and I don't wish to be murdered in the night, but my other comment was saying that I think the woman would have her rights fulfilled while another woman is fulfilling the man's needs.. Remember the topic of the video.. Like, even if she didn't love the husband, the fact that the other wife if doing the intermarital relations for her while she is being fed and cared for is a good thing?
@@lemmejustreadthethings It's a good thing to just provide and feed her but remember she is a human and she also wants to be loved and cared for in other ways! If the man decides to have another wife that means he is spending other time at another woman's house while leaving his other wife home alone, imagine how lonely or scared she might feel? And then the kids don't get time to spend with their dad! It's depressing for some!
@@nami20622And he is obliged to make love to each wife equally and treat them the same and give them the same kind of gifts.. In the past, muslim men would often have multiple wives because there weren't enough men to support all of the women at the time, because they were dying in wars.... IYou're also arguing against something the Prophet (saw) did himself..
But in the sub continent if you tell your first wife that you are remarrying then she will trace you down and not let that happen. So it’s better not to tell her before as it’s not even compulsory .
@@fakharkhan5412 agree, man is not required to inform the 1st wife, but it is respectful to inform her or at least see what feels about it. In fact, this conversation has to be had BEFORE they get married. If he wants more wives in the future but she will not accept it, then don’t marry her, save yourself lawyer fees and divorce court battles. If she is ok with more wives, then you are a match.
@@danielaramburo7648 yeah Inn Sha Allah when I’m going to get married I will tell her than if you have an objection with polygyny then tell me. But this is not compulsory. A man strong enough can deal with jealousy and hatred from both side if he is financially well too. Men need to end this taboo of not marrying my more than once . These women are trying to end masculinity totally!
What if the wife starts looking for another husband then will that be considered a husbands fault. Maybe he is not fulfilling his duties, maybe he is not sexually satisfying her, maybe he is not earning good enough, maybe he is not treating her with respect and dignity
Exactly most man doesn't look for a second wife cause first wife have faults, 99% of them just desire another women curious about having multiple partners they would want to have 4 wives even if they can't provide moderately just for one family. Cause it was put into their head from childhood that they can have more than one women but nobody bothers to explain the conditions too. When man have faults and lacking women are advised to sacrifice, have Sabr, think about akhira......etc.
Of course it is not allowed. It is like children that cant have more parents but parents are allowed to have multiple children. The relationship between husband and wife is similar with relationship between mother and children.
A woman has every right to ask for khula if her husband doesn't satisfy her sexual needs, if he becomes chronically sick, or cannot take care of her financially
Narrated by abu musa (may Allah have mercy on him): some people asked Allah's apostle(peace and blessings be upon him) , whos islam is the best? i.e ( who is the best muslim). He replied,. One who avoids harming the muslims with his tongue and hands
I think this is not about permission but about consent. And I believe Islam doesn't allow a man to hurt his wife. And secret nikah can be valid but not valid when someone lies about the nikah to hide it. And if we, women are not agreed to share our loved ones then I think we have the right to ask divorce.
She has the right to seek/take divorce but let me tell you the fact in most of the cases the first wife is the only reason for men who go for second marriage
@@serventofAllah01those men who are not pleased with the first wife can very simply talk and communicate and advice . IF she doesnt change and also is not okay with polygamy very simply the man can call for divorce ! A BOY who gets married with a second wife without discussing or agreeing with his wife is truly a scared boy . Divorce . Simple.
It is reported in the hadith of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him), "If a woman asks her husband for a divorce, for no reason, then the smell of Paradise is forbidden for her". (At-Tirmidhi narrated it. He said this is a hasan hadith. Sunan At-Tirmidhi, 1187.)
Well most of us women wear new and beautiful clothes regardless if their husband is there or not..I don’t know why men think it’s for their sake.we love to look pretty... it’s our nature... that’s how we grew up, dressing up and all were part of our girly games growing up...
I’m optimistic about what you mean with the content of your message, but there’s one thing I’d like to remind you. “I don’t know why men think it’s for their sake.” This sentence really sums up why divorces can happen very easily, just by one sentence you have devalued the other half (your husband, his desire), and is it not better for him to gaze on his wife than a random woman? Of course it is. If one (man or woman) does not beautify themself extra for their other half, issues can easily arrive. Why? Your other half wouldn’t feel as special anymore, since know the beauty is there for every (male) person to see. The point is that one has to beautify themselves for their husband/wife.
@@SuperWeedGaming exactly nowadays women want a six pack abs husband who is rich as well but they donot satisfy their husband in their clothing or speaking or most things.
Queen Fei has Allaah not told you to how to cover properly in the Quran to hide ur beauty to keep urself chaste ? Dressing up in new clothes everyday for urself maybe valid in ur own mind and heart but the consequences is detrimental. To have that mentality even though ur married is disrespectful to ur husband wether he agrees or not but it’s not ur fault Bcus women are hardwired to crave attention from different males and seek validation. The difference is wether u submit to Allaah co platelet and not take ur own desires as ur religion.
So when a man remarries, it's the first wife's fault. Islam has no space for misogyny, yet there are muslim men who are full of it. So many muslim men treat muslim women like second-class citizens.
The problem is men know what rights islam gave to them and women don't know. 1.Women can divorce a husband if he is not providing for her. 2.Women shoukd be kept like she was kept at her father's house or else she can divorce that an for not maintaining her lifestyle. ( example if father was rich husband is poor) 3.There is no compulsion for women to stay with in laws in islam. But still brown women do this out of courtesy and kindness selflessness.......they are not using their right what islam have given theem 4.If a person is having 2 wives its compulsory for him to give them seprate homes...in this modern day buying just one home is difficult for an average man. 5. Women have right to take as much mahr as she want...if a party is not ready to give that much mahr she can look for more prospects. 6. Women have right of 25 percent of fathers wealth example if there is (one son and one daughter case.) 7. Women can remarry after her divorce or husband's death which most women don't do becoz of sake of children. Women should leave children and go ahead and start a new life for themselves. Be kind to your self. What Allha has given you rights even you should use it just like men. Don't be kind to men if they are not kind to you by using islamic laws.
Those men who are saying so easily that there is nothing wrong for men to have another wife should first understand her emotional situation. Ask youself, will it be ok if your wife, in ur presence, have another husband and gives one night to him and another to you? If you cant imagine such a situation then imagine the feelings that a woman go thru because of this as women are more emotionally driven than men. Even a pious woman need a lot of aqida in order to accept such situation and may loose her sabr or faith. It is not an easy thing for a woman to share her husband just like the husbands who can't share their wives, even though it is a sunnah and allowed in islam. Only the women who don't love their husband and all she want is her financial needs to be meet , can maybe accept such situation. And trust me, 99% such women are not pious. In a way, they are selling their husband.
Im sorry but your analogy is not right from islamic pov since you are not allowed to have multiple husbands otherwise, that woman wud be for the streets
I 100% believe a woman needs to be convinced before 2nd marriage (bcz u need to keep them both happy and treat them both justily and if she doesnt agree u cant keep her happy) BUT ur analogy doesnt make sense, men and woman are different. In no society, in no time period was there woman with multiple husbands but there were men with multiple wives. Its bcz woman are emotianal and men are logical. Emotinally choosing muliple partner and logically choosing partners is different. And before ppl try to say something about love and emotional stuff for men too. Yes men do love there wife emotinally too, but this generations marriage and relationships are such failures bcz men get blinded by emotion, when it wears off they logically cant be with that person, since they didnt assess them in that way.
For me it’s the disconnect. It’s not even about who’s “logical” and who’s emotional. Anyone, male or female would react emotionally in that situation. The reason why there’s such pushback regarding your analogy is because most of these men cannot even imagine it so they explain it off as “men and women are different.” Yeah…sure but the reaction would far greater coming from a jealous male but apparently women are the emotional freaks who should be bullied into this. Oh the irony in that.
Have u gone mad ?its not the same thing .u r mentally sick, our Prophet had 11 wives at the same time ,so was he not great because of this reason .Don't talk about such a thing if u don't know much about it buddy
Or the 1st wife is perfect but now old so the husband wants a younger model. It's bitter when 1st wife has given herself completely to the husband for most of her life, tolerated his family drama and bad habits, helped husband with his financial responsibilities and helped husband recover through ill health. No wife who cares could accept sharing her husband after all that. Marriage is meant to be about being together regardless of good and bad times, regardless of age and regardless of not being perfect. Husband marrying another while still being married to the 1st wife will 100% break any positive connection there was before. New wife will want more and 1st wife will become abandoned. If 1st wife is unable to share her worries and concerns with husband to help resolve any issue in life then what is the point in being married. Better to work and pay for everything yourself, consult with parents, siblings, friends and people of knowledge about issues in life. Why live a complicated bittersweet abandoned married life when the 1st wife can live an uncomplicated happy single life.
@@al-Baa7ith-3an-il-Ma3rifah So you are going to pick one case and apply that globally to all the women in this world? While I agree that living alone is not easy and not something all women have the luxury for but you are implying that all lone women end up with a bad personality. That's just so wrong buddy!
@@umarmasoro1031 A 100% I would. Marriage amongst other things is also about love, peace and romance. Staying in an unhappy marriage just because he has money is something that is done by women who love nothing but money. I can live a middle class life but i can't wake up everyday unhappy and depressed.
The problem is men know what rights islam gave to them and women don't know. 1.Women can divorce a husband if he is not providing for her. 2.Women shoukd be kept like she was kept at her father's house or else she can divorce that an for not maintaining her lifestyle. ( example if father was rich husband is poor) 3.There is no compulsion for women to stay with in laws in islam. But still brown women do this out of courtesy and kindness selflessness.......they are not using their right what islam have given theem 4.If a person is having 2 wives its compulsory for him to give them seprate homes...in this modern day buying just one home is difficult for an average man. 5. Women have right to take as much mahr as she want...if a party is not ready to give that much mahr she can look for more prospects. 6. Women have right of 25 percent of fathers wealth example if there is (one son and one daughter case.) 7. Women can remarry after her divorce or husband's death which most women don't do becoz of sake of children. Women should leave children and go ahead and start a new life for themselves. Be kind to your self. What Allha has given you rights even you should use it just like men. Don't be kind to men if they are not kind to you by using islamic laws.
she is literally cheated on...i would have this written in my nikkah nama that he can't marry until i am his wife..mi don't want to feel divided,not being enough for him etc....if you have the right to get another i have the right to leave you
@@muhammadosama2388no it's not, stop making things up to satisfy your whims and desires. This sheikh himself endorses that exact nikkah stipulation, and many other scholars as well. Cope.
@@muhammadosama2388 no that's not. It's an optional right man have and women can ask for him to withdraw his this right if he wants to marry her. Nobody is forcing him. He is willingly giving up this right to marry his wife. You can look up this same sheikh gave that answer. So don't impose your man made shariah on others.
Did I heard 95% not fulfilling his desire!! Where did you get this percentage from Sheikh? truth is that most men do polygamy for extra pleasure these days, it's to fulfill their desire. If a man has a sex addiction problem then seek a counselor, but yes you are right for not being a man enough, it's also called being coward.
It is a fact that people have different need, and i dont mean desire. I dont think it is appropiate to talk about these terms with a sister, but you seem confused. There is a medical term called libido, 99% you know about this already. What are you going to say to a man that feels like its been 6 months that he has been intimate (when in reality its a week), and there is a another male thats alright with once a week.
The problem is men know what rights islam gave to them and women don't know. 1.Women can divorce a husband if he is not providing for her. 2.Women shoukd be kept like she was kept at her father's house or else she can divorce that an for not maintaining her lifestyle. ( example if father was rich husband is poor) 3.There is no compulsion for women to stay with in laws in islam. But still brown women do this out of courtesy and kindness selflessness.......they are not using their right what islam have given theem 4.If a person is having 2 wives its compulsory for him to give them seprate homes...in this modern day buying just one home is difficult for an average man. 5. Women have right to take as much mahr as she want...if a party is not ready to give that much mahr she can look for more prospects. 6. Women have right of 25 percent of fathers wealth example if there is (one son and one daughter case.) 7. Women can remarry after her divorce or husband's death which most women don't do becoz of sake of children. Women should leave children and go ahead and start a new life for themselves. Be kind to your self. What Allha has given you rights even you should use it just like men. Don't be kind to men if they are not kind to you by using islamic laws.
If I want to be loved and I don't want to share his love to anyone.. am I at fault? I just want a peaceful life with my love one and no one interfere... I don't want to be abandoned and be a second choice..
You definitely have that right. As men and women we both might fall out of love or get into circumstances where we want to leave the marriage or marry someone else. God has given us different ways to go around this.
I couldn’t agree more... and I am Bosnian muslim, in my country it isn’t common at all to have a second wife and I don’t know anyone who has two or more wifes.
The problem is men know what rights islam gave to them and women don't know. 1.Women can divorce a husband if he is not providing for her. 2.Women shoukd be kept like she was kept at her father's house or else she can divorce that an for not maintaining her lifestyle. ( example if father was rich husband is poor) 3.There is no compulsion for women to stay with in laws in islam. But still brown women do this out of courtesy and kindness selflessness.......they are not using their right what islam have given theem 4.If a person is having 2 wives its compulsory for him to give them seprate homes...in this modern day buying just one home is difficult for an average man. 5. Women have right to take as much mahr as she want...if a party is not ready to give that much mahr she can look for more prospects. 6. Women have right of 25 percent of fathers wealth example if there is (one son and one daughter case.) 7. Women can remarry after her divorce or husband's death which most women don't do becoz of sake of children. Women should leave children and go ahead and start a new life for themselves. Be kind to your self. What Allha has given you rights even you should use it just like men. Don't be kind to men if they are not kind to you by using islamic laws.
I think there is a myth that we need to break. When a wife ‘shares’ her husband, she is not free to follow her hobbies when he is away. Instead, She becomes a single mother for the time the husband is away from home. She has to take care of the kids and home by herself. For the first wife to follow her hobbies, the husband should visit his second wife with his kids.
Shut up, marrying is not that impossible. The number of males is very less than females. There are many women waiting to get married, but no proposal. The male is to the female ratio is not 1:1, and it shall decrease more in the future. You have the chance to marry, don't cry.
Yes sheikh, if one of your daughters die before you, just chill if you are sensible. I see that as good situation. Sure you'd miss them a bit, but that way you won't have to provide for them.
There was a case in my country. A man had two wives, but the wives didn't know each other. He never told them he had other wife. Then he died. His children from each wife met each other and they got married. Without knowing that they're half sibling. They even had children. They knew they're actually half sibling after their children grew up. Imagine how sad they were. They had to divorce. Men, I know it's your right (with condition which is fairness) to have multiple wives and don't need your wife's permission. You don't even need to tell them. But please, where is your compassion? I believe in Islam you shouldn't break your wife's heart. You should treat her well. Please at least tell her if you want to marry again. She deserves to know. Allah is the most just, but human isn't.
IT IS Not every man's right It has condicions. Not every man can Provide enough for one wive to marry a Second . Not every man IS fair...... If the condicions are Not fulfilled you get Bad Deeds.
@@siuuu-lk3og Yes. Many marriages are ruined because husband can't be fair toward his wives. It's women and children who suffer the most in failed polygamy.
I need info, secret marriage is prohibited in Islam. What happens when the marriage to the 2nd wife is kept secret from the 1st wife. And then after marriage it is announced via instagram. I want to know about the timing, must the notification of marriage be before the marriage?
God allowed a man to have second wife But God also allowed a woman to ask for divorce You still have obligation to provide your child even when you divorce her, even when she takes your child away anyway It's Islam rules She just need to feed herself after divorce, but all child support until go to college still your obligation
@@Adam-qm9gh The Kids stay with the mother until they are in puberty then If the mother remmaries they Go to the father. And still you cant prevent the mother from seeing the Kids.
@@Adam-qm9gh Brother the mother needs to Feed them and Bring them Up so the son stays with the Mother until He reaches puberty too. And Allah knows best.
May Allah forgive and protect all Muslims dead or alive and grant us jannah by His mercy Aameen yaa Rabb🤲🏼🤲🏼🤲🏼 May peace and blessings of Allah be upon our beloved prophet his companions and entire household✨✨✨
man do second marriege because of first wife carelessness? really? what a bullshit reply... as a islam representer , you need to be more carefull with your words
All the women out there, please utilize your marital contract (Nikkah nama) Allah almighty has given all the rights.... You can write in your nikkah contract's clauses that you don't want your husband to marry anyone once he's married to you and you don't accept him marrying women,he will not be allowed to then marry in the shariah.... Also,a man who genuinely loves you, always remember he would never marry any other woman if you are married to him,he will never break your heart, and now please don't talk about Imam Ali and rasool because one can be Prophet Mohammad PBUH and Imam Ali,they were perfect men,our Mola!...And secondly,even they didn't marry until bibi khadija and Fatma a.s were alive
Well It's not like He can't marry another woman. He can if he wills but since you put that clause you will have the right to annul the marriage. Allah Subhan wa tala has given a Man the right to marry upto 4 women. Do you really think that your mere clause will take that right from him?
@@tanjirokamado3934 He is not allowed to go against the marital contract,if he will it's haram on him,and he doesn't have a right to do it if he signed the marital contract, he has to abide by all the clauses writer if he signs it
@@tanjirokamado3934 You can ask any Scholar,what is the use of marital contract "clauses"?that they both have to abide by it...Women any which ways have the right to end the marriage irrespective of any clause,whenever she wants!You can ask any learned men and use some common sense too
@@tanjirokamado3934”your mere clause” was so unnecessary, the mere clause puts more pressure on him to stop. Allah gave permission for SOME men under CONDITIONS. Its not an obligation. Its her RIGHT to get it written.
THIS video should be SAVED and CIRCULATED by every person who suffers from the DELUSION that MISOGYNY does not exist in the Muslim world....He SQUARELY blames the wife @2:57 mins 'It's her FAULT if you are looking for a 2nd wife' ... The fact that this person has a Chanel in which he continues to poison minds and spew hatred for women disguised as 'advice', undeterred, shows that his views are in fact endorsed by the Muslim world.
I have a child from a previous marriage, I have been married for 12 years and during that time I was unable to conceive. We spoke many times about a second wife I always refused but my husband me recently and I agreed. I know he is very pleased with me in all things and did not want to remarry but just for this one thing, he asked me and I agreed as I want for him what he wants for himself. He just remarried 5 months ago, it is very difficult for both of us as for the first time in years we are apart as I am in Uk and he is in Pakistan. He will fly here next month for some time. Pray we get through this, I am finding it so hard but I love him and he loves me I know this much.
@@hhhhhh-ho2rwA few things have to be considered before "adoption". First of all, as far as I know, adoption *IN THE WESTERN SENSE* does not exist in islam. Adoption in the Islamic sense is more along the line of *KINSHIP ADOPTION* . This is because of who is considered mahrem (immediately relative that one can't marry like father daughter, parent's brother and niece, etc) or non-mahrem to the child. This is not to say that there aren't people out there who adopt children who aren't immediately related or related at all. Another way of describing "adoption" in Islam is having *guardianship* over the adoptee. That is the word most often used. Another concept to be aware of that we are not supposed to pass off someone else's child as our own. Preserving the lineage or family tree is important. And by that I mean who is the child's parents, where did the child come from, where did the child go, the child's self identity (and by preserving lineage I don't mean "definitely having our own children"). In some cultures if a couple have trouble conceiving then a child is passed (i wish i could think of a better word to use here) onto the childless couple. In some cases it also takes pressure off of the couple who are not well off or have too many children. This way they know where the child is, how well its being kept, can be visited etc etc. If you listen to stories by adoptees that are adopted to unrelated people then they talk about a lot of issues, especially feeling out of place. The most common ones covered are by Korean to American adoptions, but not limited to. The most unsuccessful ones covered tend to be Russian to American adoptions as very little to no history of the child is shared and that ends up creating hindrance. Quite often the adopting family tends to behave like they're taking on a pet rather than a human being. Also "renaming" the child. There was one story of a Pakistani girl who got adopted by a white family and they tried to erase her past and background, which created trauma with the girl. There's more to be said regarding "adoption" in Islam but I think this is enough for now and I may have covered why its not a straightforward immediately considered option though of course I can't guess what original commenter approach would be.
@@madihaq2252 As a christian, I can say your explanation is interesting. In Brazil the law stabilsh that an orphan or a child in vulnerability must to be adopted priority by another person from a extended family. This child only could be adopted by a person outside of family just in case the extended family can not. This was stablished to prevent this traumas.
This dirt bag became even more abusive to me, calling me ugly everyday because he was dating a woman over the phone. And dumping me back in his country so he can bring her . The young woman obviously looking for money pretended to be in love with him . Not answering the phone on me because oh I gonna ruin her future . He divorce me 4 months later he wants to come back. He still thinks that he can manipulate me to leave the country. Who gonna marry him to go back to garbage Algeria . Narcissist in that country is predominant.
Maby the man is already not a man enough for one woman. Therefore he thinks the problem is the wife not the fact that he is a bad husband not taking care of his obligations
The idea of a woman staying on after finding out, is very mature, and it’s a time for her to recognize the man was there just for status. She is not selfish and is the only one thinking about that home!! Although with time things will fall apart, she plays a big role,especially letting the children grow in a broken home!?? What’s the point of being in a marriage knowing very well you are been used?? The energy used on the second wife can be used to maintain the 1st family!? It’s about a unit here especially where there are children.🤷🏽♀️
@@swalehabubakartalib9788 please elaborate I would like to understand. What's wrong with a man who is mentally, physically and financially capable while having he ability the treat them justly, fairly and while having a mind and heart heart sound enough that allows him to pick women based of their character rather their looks. Is there anything wrong with this.
@Birdsplant 0 seconds ago People say that the man does not have to tell his wife. This is FALSE. He doesn't need her permission, however the Prophet pbuh said that MARRIAGES MUST BE PUBLICIZED FOR MANY LOGICAL AND PRACTICAL AND SOCIAL REASONS. So, if marriages must be publicized then OBVIOUSLY THE WIFE WOULD KNOW AND SHOULD KNOW. if the community knows! Also, a secret marriage entails lying all the time, hidden children (which is haram because kids could grow up and mistakenly marry their siblings not knowing that they even have those siblings). All of these sheikhs that hide this obvious knowledge for the sake of men's secret pleasures will be accountable to Allah. They are ruining lives and families by enabling lying.
Sisters you may not desire polygany and that's your choice. But your husband may not desire monogamy and that's his choice. Most men want a second wife. Stop thinking otherwise and accept how men are created. We don't own men.
Thing is, if I was part of the Conversation, I wouldnt necessarily mind my husband wanting a 2nd wife. If he went behind my back and tried to bully me into accepting it by gaslighting me when I find out? I would go scorched earth and burn everything we built together down to rubble and THEN divorce him. 🤷🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️ I wouldnt keep Something life changing from hubby and I demand the same courtesy.
Even though the wife is doing everything right for her husband (including but not limited )luv ,respect cook taking care of him n kids,helping him with work or business yet Some men have a lust of going after every pretty younger girl n wanting to marry them n do it fraudulent ways not telling their already married few times etc…I know some 😢I say such men who can’t have enough of women should tell the family of the girl before getting married that ur daughter is not the first one n won’t b the last ..it’s only fair to tell them so they’ll decide if to accept or reject such proposal 💯
Please dont say things like this. 1. The Prophet of Islam had multiple wives and he said that Allah put a lot of love in his heart. This is human nature. It is given by Allah (SWT). 2. At this point in time Zina is at its peak. In the office i worked in every married man was having or trying to have multiple affairs. This is the reason in Islam men are allowed to marry without the permission of the 1st wife. Most men love their wives and dont wish to loose their status in society so they prefer affairs over marriage. You might not like this, but this is what it is. Btw i am a woman so i am not defending men. I just believe that if Allah has said something than no one should question it. I know it is painful to deal with but please dont try to change the rules of Allah (SWT). He knows better than we do. Men were created this way, you wishing they weren't isn't going to change them. I have seen so many women in pain even willing to marry a married man but no wife is willing to allow it. One can only understand their pain when one goes through that situation. If we stopped running after pleasures of dunia and started running after love of Allah this situation, even though severely painful, would be handled in a kinder way for everyone involved.
@@s.e.2681??”plz don’t say “what ?? I m not sure if ur a man or a woman but u need to read my point of reference again several times if u don’t understand,ask someone who can help u understand what I’ve said,what I’ve explained is valid n it’s happening in many cases Don’t mix up Shriyat with those ppl who r addicted to going girl after girl not telling her family about previous n present wives use ur brain if it works properly 🙏there is a huge difference between “getting married to another woman without asking ur present wife”…”getting married to someone n hiding ur already married n have a wife or two ☝️this is called fraud😡DO NOT MIX FRAUD UP WITH SHARIAH go read SHARIAH again lying or tricking someone into marrying u not telling correct information about u hiding ur marriages to get married to a new girl it’s called fraud..if u live in this world then u must already know what is “Dhoka fraud “I hope if ur not one of them then now u understand the difference
@s.e.2681 So men were created that way to want more sex by different women??? No. Animals were created that way. And women are just supposed to tolerate this mess and be understanding and remain loyal to him even though he went after another woman??? I don't understand how you're asking her or any woman to accept this. This is wrong on so many levels and unjust. Disgusting mindset and increases women's mental health issues and suicide rates when they have no way out, are restricted culturally/financially/by religion.
@@s.e.2681 men aren't "created that way"- there were reasons as to why polygamy is a thing. Also Zina isn't just at it's peak regarding men- it's both genders
@@s.e.2681no one is talking about the prophet saw dont compare him to men from today’s society please 😂 open your eyes, a lot of men lust for anything even if they have the perfect wife
That IS why those man are Not allowed to marry the Second because they don't fulfill the condicions and will BE asked infront of Allah Subhanu Wataala about IT.
I think, men and women should discuss about it before marriage. That would be best. Cause if a man wants 2nd wife or so, she can just decide whether she wants to marry the man or not.
Go ahead and run to a temporary solution , see how it works out. Most men do not have the vessel for 2-3-4 wives , and multiple children - financially, emotionally or spiritually
So let me understand it’s my fault that I am no longer an 18 year old virgin that I aged to over 40 where and I quote am “expired and undesirable” because I had birthdays that I don’t know caused me to age. So please explain to me how this is my fault. Perhaps you should think about what you say before blaming the woman.
Are you for real?? To me second and secret marriage is cheating and the husband must be dumped. Women sometimes in a very helpless situation and put up with cheating lying so called husband. Imagine if your wife cheats on you then you will know how this feels if spouse marries again. Very callous and selfish response.
This day an age women from the west will leave u for something smaller then a second wife. It’s hopeless out here. Women have too much high expectations making it difficult for men
@@khoshalpashtoonmal1845 you talk(in a halal way) about stuff before the marriage and if you don’t feel like marrying her you don’t. And if after discussing you do wanna marry then you do. Also im not a male.
@@Anon-uv9mj makes sense since expectations of vast population of both males & females & their families have changed over time, being up front about topics as such before marriage has become unavoidable to prevent future dilemmas it seems. May Allah (SWT) guide all of us towards good & give us good in this world & in the hereafter. Ameen
I am having the opposite problem. I didn’t know for 27 years my husband has a first wife and children. The first wife was a forced cousin marriage made by their grandparents. He never got feelings for her and she for him. He left her in her home country after their first son was 3 month old and got to know me 4 years later. We married and had a good life and 3 daughters as he went for 5 days to his homecountry alone for visiting his mother and somehow met her again. After month he got to know she was again pregnant and got a daughter who is now 14 years old. After that he never saw her again. But still I did never expect something like this and I am much hurt and in pain since I got to know before 3 months about all this. We are having 4 daughters, the oldest is already married and the second is engaged. And I want the divorce of him and her, but because of the system there and the fact that she is very old now I don’t know what is right and wrong. He told me he only wants to stay with me and never meet her again. What should I do?
He should’ve told u the truth from very beginning. U know ur husband, if u reall trust him, take ur decision. But remember; a person who can lie about such a big thing is harmful in general
This is a man's point of view. She can be a good woman. A man will be greedy because you CAN . Whether the women like it or agree. It's the man decision to multiple. He don't have to worry about communication and respect and loyalty. He always can get another wife and the routine continues. A woman has a right not to share. She has a right to her own.
Asalamualeykum , I want to share a situation , please advise me . I meet my husband 10 year ago , I ask if was marry he said no , we consive two kids one in 2012 and one in 2016 . In 2020 I found out by a paper I found on his car he got divorced one moth before my daughter was born , I did my investigation before confronting him and yes , in did he was marry since 2001 no kids and got divorce in 2016 . It hurt me so bad because wen I ask him why did he do that to me , he insult me call me the wors names and denegrat me . I'm still with him but I can't thrust him , yes I have feelings for him but is not the same . Please advice me. I really suffer from self worth and feel ugly or not worthy some times. InshaAllah you can advice me . Salam
Some ppl will find you ugly, some ppl will find you attractive, thats the world we live in. Thats life. We cannot control what others think. Dont take other ppls opinions. We should follow the sunnah, and logically we should be healthy and etc.
Sister he respects you that's why he is still with you and kids. Dont dwell in the past and spoil kids life. A little sabr will be better for the sake of Allah suhana wa'tha'ala and kids. I would not have confronted him at all in the 1st place bcos it was his wife than and not a mistress of girlfriend. Hope you understand what I am saying. Much respect to him for he didn't drag you to his past life. Allahu A'alam. Bi idnillah. Pls don't break up for satanic whisper. Fight Satan and not the one who married you, your kids father.
I thought lying is one of the biggest sins in islam. Don't Allah's guidelines count anymore if it's about men's desires? How can someone marry secretly??
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Yeah, why care about a wifes Depression. She'll get over it😂. SubhanAllah. But the wife has to fulfill the husbands needs, but the husbands may bethe cause for the wifes Depression. No Problem. SubhanAllah
For anyone commenting their opinions and feelings, consider this: Do you have knowledge and scholarship regarding in depth Islamic matters? If the answer is no, your thoughts are invalid, baseless, and useless. Islam is not based on your feelings, my feelings, nor anyone else’s feelings. It’s based on the guidance of Allah, The Messenger-peace be upon him, and the lifestyle of the companions.
That doesn’t have anything to do with what I said. Who said it’s a must? If it was obligatory, then everyone would have to do it. What is it exactly that you’re presenting?
If a man is not content with his wife, why does he not divorce her right away,. instead of looking for a second one in secret and hurting her more. That is what I do not understand.
So a good woman will fulfill every one of your desires and serve you AND be fine with you marrying a second wife? Please get ahold of yourself. How is it okay that the "sensible" first wife would be "a little depressed" about her husband marrying a second wife??? How is that okay? Where is your compassion? The reason men are allowed to marry more than one woman is especially for times of war when there are more women than men and when they can't take care of themselves in the society. A second wife isn't merely for a man's pleasure. Come on......
Sister then u should know not to mix emotions and logic with Islam. Islam is just a guideline it’s not a feeling. It permits men to fulfil their rights of having more then one spouse Allaah has ordained it but not other way round women cannot marry more then one man. If a man wants to take up another spouse and hes man enough to do it he will after evaluating wether it’s financially possible. U will find men out there who are compassionate with first wife yet have more needs and they will take another spouse. 1500 years ago it was a normal custom for the companions who were th best men to walk this earth and were to use ur words “compassionate” and our prophet s.a.w was “compassionate” to be married to more then 1 woman at a time. Because they didn’t mix their emotions and logic with religion and the women of those days understood the religion better then any woman in today’s age. This day an age the corruption the false western narratives feeding women’s and men’s minds taking us away from sunnah that when the polygyny issue comes up everyone’s afraid making us respond the way we do to life situations. This is why Muhammed salalahu alayhi wa salam left us the sunnah to follow so that we be guided to what is fair and what isn’t when it comes to men’s and women’s rights both are to be fulfilled by each other.
@@khoshalpashtoonmal1845 I am okay with a man having multiple wives, because men were made weak to women; but what I am not comfortable with is a man keeping his wives a secret from one another. Isn't keeping a secret a form of a lie? Because, it gives false impression to the women; and lying is a major sin in Islam. Whenever one of his wives ask him, "Where are you going?", he has to lie again in order to keep his secret. As far as I am aware, a man has to scedule his weeks and divide it among his wives. If he ever gives a portion of his second wife's time to his first wife, then he has to let his second wife know and even it out with her. Other than that, it is a major sin. Therefore, my question is, if a man marries his wives in secret, the first wife is completely unaware that, he is giving her times away to some other women. So, is it not supposed to be prohibitted in Islam? Also, where is the love and "compassion" then if he is keeping the main people in his life a secret? The Prophet(PBUH) and the Sahabas did not keep their wives a secret from one another. Even before the end times of Prophet Muhammad(PBUH), he was incapable of moving around due to his illness, and he called out to all of his wives and asked for "permission" from them to only stay with Ayesha(RA), to which they agreed. So, how does a secret marriage even work? I am not the most knowledgeable person, and I am just curious to know the truth.
As much as a man does not need permission, it's the moral and logical thing to do. Need to be ready to face the consequences. Many men don't know the conditions for a second marriage nor the punishment for not treating spouse fairly.
It is wrong to take any wife in secrecy. There are NO secret marriages in Islam. This fellow knows nothing about Islam. His is following and preaching his own value system and principles not those prescribed by Allah swt and he is following his own 'conjectures' as the Quran calls it.
“Because it’s her fault that you want a second wife”… What? Even when kids are involved too. This is so sad. I started research to become a Muslim and all of my research has pointed me to absolutely not
Brother or sister, please don’t stop your reasarch. A women is allowed to divorce her husband if he gets another way. She would not be accountable for that
Please stay away from this cult. ~ an ex muslim here. Do ur research properly and listen to what ex muslims all over the internet have to say. Wishing u all the peace and happiness.
Sister Allah will make you understand fiqh rulings. Do not be discouraged and keep researching and read the quran! Once you become a muslim, Allah will make little fiqh matters clear!
A secret marriage? Why would a second wife agree to a marriage where she is kept a secret & can be visited for very few hours (bc otherwise it will be obvious) & how would the husband stay over the night with her? Would he lie saying something else? A husband doesn’t need the permission to get the second wife. But ofc if he knows that the first wife will refuse to do anything with him & only demand for divorce because of jealousy, he should consider which outcome he would want more. And as for women, mention that you do not agree to the second wife in your marriage contract, if you really don’t want it, and don’t want to fight over it in the future. But at the end of the day you may be jealous over it, but just do realize that he isn’t doing something wrong for wanting to have a second wife. Whether that’s what you want for yourself or not is your choice (but what matters is that you don’t deny the concept of polygamy altogether)
The men don't need permission but they must inform or even consult with their wives before taking the second wife. She is your partner. You share with her your kids, your house, she builds your home. She is your secret keeper. How can one not think of informing her about something so big as a second nikah? You inform her everything about what happened to you through the day but you're not a man enough to inform her before hand about you trying to build a second household with another woman. That's plain insensitive. Remember she's a human being, as smart as you and as emotional or may be more emotional than you. If after that she refuses to be the part of this sunnah then it's her fault but you can't be nagging about it.
@@Anon-uv9mj I know. I saw your other comments too. This 'you' is for men who were justifying not informing wife about it in the other comment thread. It's also a common practice of writing a sentence in second person form but does not always mean to the person directly.
Yes, men lie, they live a secret double life, and they have to remember where they were, that’s why there is no point of leaving your house, because you never know which one is truthful.
Wait, men take a second wife because it's the first wife's fault? She doesn't take care of his needs? Maybe it's because she's got too many other responsibilities
If the man doesn't have the guts to tell his first wife beforhand, then that doesn't seem like love or respect to me at all. How will that woman ever be able to trust him again? What kind of relationship is that. That is one of emotional distance and abuse. If the wife is emotionally distanced then she will accept 3 wives if she is fed and clothed well. But that doesn't sound like a maritial relationship, more of a business one. Well if it works for some couples, go for it. But I believe for pairs who truly value and respect one another and are able to fullfill each others needs, zina or polygamy is NOT an option. There was a time in my life when I would have welcomed a second wife into my marriage (the first time I understood that concept): when I didn't want and love my husband any longer, but I thought it would be best to stay together for the kids.
Somebody explain it to me I thought we were allowed to have up to four wives so what’s the problem is the problem that he married and secret isn’t supposed to be that the first wife has the second wife
I Advice you all not to take your Knowledge from this Man Assimalhakeem. He praises people that have Innovations such as At Turayfi and Al Munajjid. Our Prophet ﷺ warned us about who we take as our Companions. So we have to Obey Allah by following people who exhibit Righteousness and not people that praise those that Innovate in the Deen. Cos Innovation is worse than Major Sins and is next in line after Shirk. So I advice you all to stay away from Assimalhakeem until he Repents publicly. This is the way of the Salaf. May Allah Guide him and us all. Ameen
Read the Quran and realize your obligations. It's not Fard to marry multiple wives. It is preferred to marry only one, because you won't be able to treat them equally. And I'm Not the one to tell you what happens if you don't treat them equally. Before you do Zina or marry the next wife. Talk to your wife. Go to couples therapy. Allah Made us in pairs ( you can also read that in the Quran) not in triangles, qubes, or pentagons.
@@user-se7gt4hi3g 😀 I should go to therapy because I want to marry a second wife. You are really funny. Given your mindset if u have opportunity u won't hesitate to erase that verse of the holy Quran that approved polygamy. May Allah SWA forgive you. I am not saying people should needlessly do polygamy. No. What I am saying polygamy is Halal and we Muslims of this generation should stop having jaundiced eyes against it.
Yep, like she's not asking you to divorce your second wife, it's fine if you married again, but if the wife is not comfortable then I feel like she has the right to have a divorce
@@AM-dn1iqstop trying to trap and oppress women. The prophet SAW granted a divorce for a woman, simply because she no longer loved her husband. It's a sahih hadith. Men like you want to keep women oppressed and abuse the religion for your own whims and desires. Disgusting.
@@AM-dn1iq yess it is valid cause many times Muslim men do unfair treatment to their wives and favor one over another. That why some women don't like the idea of their husband remarrying
Sheikh is being too apologetic Allah have a Man a right to marry 4 he will marry 4 if he wants. SHE HAS NO RIGHT TO SAY NO ALLAH GAVE HIM THAT RIGHT HE WILL PURSUE IT.
If your wife doesn't like you to marry second wife Than don't marry Because Qu'ran says if you can't just to them *Than marry only one*. "If you can't stand the heat Get out of the kitchen "
Wow! How men always get a free pass. I was about to like this video then sh aasim said be ready to give her the divorce because it's her fault 🧐 when we know in MOST cases it is because men can't lower their gaze! They can't even properly look after the 1st wife & kids but they out chatting up co-workers or social media women etc Not a fair & balanced answer by generalizing that women are at fault in most cases. If husband is doing all he must in the 1st place she would be able to better care for him but she is doing way more than what is required of her islamically & now he wants another wife out of lust when he can't even see to 1 wife as he rightfully should. No wonder the non Muslims like to say Islam is oppressive astaghfirullaah.
hiding ur 2nd marriage from 1st wife is haram..uh can check so uh cant keep it as a secret..nd even if uh do she will get to know where are uh half of the time
Having a woman's love is a gift God reserves for special people. See the Peacock. All that dance is to attract a female. Is that HALAKL? I have been married 65 years. Because I followed Allah. Not this incorrect version Quran. Mohamad was not a fool.
Don't convince your wife,if she wants a divorce respect her choice,just like how you have a choice of marrying another woman! She has a choice of divorcing you...
No, Is not her right divorce for this reason
@@kinglaw1882 Even if she doesn't like her husband's face, she has a right to divorce and separation, a woman has a right to decide if she wants to live with that man or not.... No one is forced to stay with a person they don't want to live with, and that is why allah has given rights, who are you to decide?
@@kinglaw1882it is her right to divorce for this reason. She does nit have to tolerate
@@Jomana_azhar 💯💯
@@kinglaw1882 it is how is his right to marry more than one it is the right if she not want
why dont you point out that men mostly want the second wife due to them not lowering their gaze? most of these men find the second wife by cheating on the first and then marrying the second one. how is that normal
Yes bro it can't be normal Cheating is a very bad sin. Whoever deceives will be written on his forehead on the Day of Judgment
Yes they're 🐷🐷
No one said it's normal? It's a completely different topic, and while I agree that what they do is bad, this is something else.
Man in Islam only taking about second marriage nd women should do this do that…like no Islam rules for them
@@eulehund99don't silence the meaning, imams should still talk about it!
It is better to have one than none, but if you choose to have second, the first has the right to leave you.
Afaik, if he is providing roof, food, clothing and observing all the rights of all the women he marries and treats all of them fairly (buying each equal value in gifts) then they have no right to ask for a divorce? Note, thats if he can accomplish all his financial and moral responsibilities, if he cannot then she can have a legitimate cause to ask for a divorce. Isn't this situation good for the women? They're having their rights fulfuilled and they don't have to sleep with the man as much to uphold their end of the deal lol.
@@lemmejustreadthethings But she doesn't love you anymore! You can't force someone to love it comes from the heart! If you marry another woman your first wife will not love you meaning she can't be intimate with you then what's the point of keeping a depressed person under your responsibility? Just let her go before she murders you at night!
@@nami20622 Tbh that's what I'd do because I don't want my wife to not enjoy our marriage and I don't wish to be murdered in the night, but my other comment was saying that I think the woman would have her rights fulfilled while another woman is fulfilling the man's needs.. Remember the topic of the video.. Like, even if she didn't love the husband, the fact that the other wife if doing the intermarital relations for her while she is being fed and cared for is a good thing?
@@lemmejustreadthethings It's a good thing to just provide and feed her but remember she is a human and she also wants to be loved and cared for in other ways! If the man decides to have another wife that means he is spending other time at another woman's house while leaving his other wife home alone, imagine how lonely or scared she might feel? And then the kids don't get time to spend with their dad! It's depressing for some!
@@nami20622And he is obliged to make love to each wife equally and treat them the same and give them the same kind of gifts.. In the past, muslim men would often have multiple wives because there weren't enough men to support all of the women at the time, because they were dying in wars.... IYou're also arguing against something the Prophet (saw) did himself..
"I'm like your father" Best day ever!
W
😮😮😮 how is everything the woman’s fault?? Gosh
Literally . Like he immediately went to the option : its the woman’s fault . How audacious to assume
It is better to have this conversation with the 1st wife before getting a 2nd wife. To surprise her or hide it from her is not cool.
But in the sub continent if you tell your first wife that you are remarrying then she will trace you down and not let that happen. So it’s better not to tell her before as it’s not even compulsory .
@@fakharkhan5412 agree, man is not required to inform the 1st wife, but it is respectful to inform her or at least see what feels about it. In fact, this conversation has to be had BEFORE they get married. If he wants more wives in the future but she will not accept it, then don’t marry her, save yourself lawyer fees and divorce court battles. If she is ok with more wives, then you are a match.
@@danielaramburo7648 almost no such women exist.
@@aatif7518 then it’s something to consider before you marry her.
@@danielaramburo7648 yeah Inn Sha Allah when I’m going to get married I will tell her than if you have an objection with polygyny then tell me. But this is not compulsory. A man strong enough can deal with jealousy and hatred from both side if he is financially well too. Men need to end this taboo of not marrying my more than once . These women are trying to end masculinity totally!
What if the wife starts looking for another husband then will that be considered a husbands fault. Maybe he is not fulfilling his duties, maybe he is not sexually satisfying her, maybe he is not earning good enough, maybe he is not treating her with respect and dignity
Exactly most man doesn't look for a second wife cause first wife have faults, 99% of them just desire another women curious about having multiple partners they would want to have 4 wives even if they can't provide moderately just for one family.
Cause it was put into their head from childhood that they can have more than one women but nobody bothers to explain the conditions too.
When man have faults and lacking women are advised to sacrifice, have Sabr, think about akhira......etc.
Of course it is not allowed. It is like children that cant have more parents but parents are allowed to have multiple children. The relationship between husband and wife is similar with relationship between mother and children.
A woman has every right to ask for khula if her husband doesn't satisfy her sexual needs, if he becomes chronically sick, or cannot take care of her financially
UNFORTUNATELY IT HAPPENS THATS WHY WE HAVE ZINA 😢😢😢
@@bashori20 the relationship between parents and their children is in no way similar as the relationship between husband and wife,
Narrated by abu musa (may Allah have mercy on him): some people asked Allah's apostle(peace and blessings be upon him) , whos islam is the best? i.e ( who is the best muslim). He replied,. One who avoids harming the muslims with his tongue and hands
may Allah make all muslim like those, and unite us and love each other
@algazzalizubir4049 Aameen
I think this is not about permission but about consent. And I believe Islam doesn't allow a man to hurt his wife. And secret nikah can be valid but not valid when someone lies about the nikah to hide it. And if we, women are not agreed to share our loved ones then I think we have the right to ask divorce.
She has the right to seek/take divorce but let me tell you the fact in most of the cases the first wife is the only reason for men who go for second marriage
@@serventofAllah01those men who are not pleased with the first wife can very simply talk and communicate and advice . IF she doesnt change and also is not okay with polygamy very simply the man can call for divorce ! A BOY who gets married with a second wife without discussing or agreeing with his wife is truly a scared boy . Divorce . Simple.
@@ephemeralwarrior well it's ur perspective but in Islam there is no such condition
@@serventofAllah01 no its not my perspective it is the islamic norm . There is no lying permitted in islam brother . What are you talking
It’s her right to ask for divorce.
I'll never agree if my husband wants a second wife
She doesn't have to 'ASK' .... another LIE. She can get Khula even if he doesn't agree. It's called Marriage NOT Slavery.
It is reported in the hadith of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him), "If a woman asks her husband for a divorce, for no reason, then the smell of Paradise is forbidden for her". (At-Tirmidhi narrated it. He said this is a hasan hadith. Sunan At-Tirmidhi, 1187.)
@@1907-murat but in this context she has a reason, so the hadith doesnt apply
@@Lieeater-so3tqexactly
Well most of us women wear new and beautiful clothes regardless if their husband is there or not..I don’t know why men think it’s for their sake.we love to look pretty... it’s our nature...
that’s how we grew up, dressing up and all were part of our girly games growing up...
I’m optimistic about what you mean with the content of your message, but there’s one thing I’d like to remind you. “I don’t know why men think it’s for their sake.” This sentence really sums up why divorces can happen very easily, just by one sentence you have devalued the other half (your husband, his desire), and is it not better for him to gaze on his wife than a random woman? Of course it is.
If one (man or woman) does not beautify themself extra for their other half, issues can easily arrive. Why? Your other half wouldn’t feel as special anymore, since know the beauty is there for every (male) person to see. The point is that one has to beautify themselves for their husband/wife.
@@SuperWeedGaming exactly nowadays women want a six pack abs husband who is rich as well but they donot satisfy their husband in their clothing or speaking or most things.
@@fakharkhan5412 Don’t generalize it, but I know what you mean that some women might.
Queen Fei has Allaah not told you to how to cover properly in the Quran to hide ur beauty to keep urself chaste ? Dressing up in new clothes everyday for urself maybe valid in ur own mind and heart but the consequences is detrimental. To have that mentality even though ur married is disrespectful to ur husband wether he agrees or not but it’s not ur fault Bcus women are hardwired to crave attention from different males and seek validation. The difference is wether u submit to Allaah co platelet and not take ur own desires as ur religion.
I don't think so once your married .... It's hard to see that
So when a man remarries, it's the first wife's fault. Islam has no space for misogyny, yet there are muslim men who are full of it. So many muslim men treat muslim women like second-class citizens.
ikr these men are hypocrite bastards
Yes this is the harsh truth
U saw a 5 min video and think you know everything of Islamic marital laws regarding polygamy, are people so arrogant now?
@@glookz5187saw 5 mins lived through it whole my life.
The problem is men know what rights islam gave to them and women don't know.
1.Women can divorce a husband if he is not providing for her.
2.Women shoukd be kept like she was kept at her father's house or else she can divorce that an for not maintaining her lifestyle. ( example if father was rich husband is poor)
3.There is no compulsion for women to stay with in laws in islam. But still brown women do this out of courtesy and kindness selflessness.......they are not using their right what islam have given theem
4.If a person is having 2 wives its compulsory for him to give them seprate homes...in this modern day buying just one home is difficult for an average man.
5. Women have right to take as much mahr as she want...if a party is not ready to give that much mahr she can look for more prospects.
6. Women have right of 25 percent of fathers wealth example if there is (one son and one daughter case.)
7. Women can remarry after her divorce or husband's death which most women don't do becoz of sake of children. Women should leave children and go ahead and start a new life for themselves. Be kind to your self. What Allha has given you rights even you should use it just like men. Don't be kind to men if they are not kind to you by using islamic laws.
Those men who are saying so easily that there is nothing wrong for men to have another wife should first understand her emotional situation. Ask youself, will it be ok if your wife, in ur presence, have another husband and gives one night to him and another to you? If you cant imagine such a situation then imagine the feelings that a woman go thru because of this as women are more emotionally driven than men. Even a pious woman need a lot of aqida in order to accept such situation and may loose her sabr or faith. It is not an easy thing for a woman to share her husband just like the husbands who can't share their wives, even though it is a sunnah and allowed in islam. Only the women who don't love their husband and all she want is her financial needs to be meet , can maybe accept such situation. And trust me, 99% such women are not pious. In a way, they are selling their husband.
Im sorry but your analogy is not right from islamic pov since you are not allowed to have multiple husbands otherwise, that woman wud be for the streets
I 100% believe a woman needs to be convinced before 2nd marriage (bcz u need to keep them both happy and treat them both justily and if she doesnt agree u cant keep her happy) BUT ur analogy doesnt make sense, men and woman are different. In no society, in no time period was there woman with multiple husbands but there were men with multiple wives.
Its bcz woman are emotianal and men are logical. Emotinally choosing muliple partner and logically choosing partners is different. And before ppl try to say something about love and emotional stuff for men too. Yes men do love there wife emotinally too, but this generations marriage and relationships are such failures bcz men get blinded by emotion, when it wears off they logically cant be with that person, since they didnt assess them in that way.
For me it’s the disconnect. It’s not even about who’s “logical” and who’s emotional. Anyone, male or female would react emotionally in that situation. The reason why there’s such pushback regarding your analogy is because most of these men cannot even imagine it so they explain it off as “men and women are different.” Yeah…sure but the reaction would far greater coming from a jealous male but apparently women are the emotional freaks who should be bullied into this. Oh the irony in that.
@@-glitch-8195 the example doesn't fit, rest of what you wrote was emotional bs
Have u gone mad ?its not the same thing .u r mentally sick, our Prophet had 11 wives at the same time ,so was he not great because of this reason .Don't talk about such a thing if u don't know much about it buddy
Am out of this marriage he better stay with his second wife am out his life
Definitely 💯
What if he's the best husband ever?but he has a second wife you will divorce him?even tho hes treating the both of you the same way?
Best husband ever? No best husband would hide his second marriage lol@@immortalbrolyblack2891
he is not the best husband if he lied and hurt his wife @@immortalbrolyblack2891
@Miracleofnight__ could you share a woman?
Or the 1st wife is perfect but now old so the husband wants a younger model.
It's bitter when 1st wife has given herself completely to the husband for most of her life, tolerated his family drama and bad habits, helped husband with his financial responsibilities and helped husband recover through ill health. No wife who cares could accept sharing her husband after all that. Marriage is meant to be about being together regardless of good and bad times, regardless of age and regardless of not being perfect.
Husband marrying another while still being married to the 1st wife will 100% break any positive connection there was before. New wife will want more and 1st wife will become abandoned. If 1st wife is unable to share her worries and concerns with husband to help resolve any issue in life then what is the point in being married. Better to work and pay for everything yourself, consult with parents, siblings, friends and people of knowledge about issues in life. Why live a complicated bittersweet abandoned married life when the 1st wife can live an uncomplicated happy single life.
@@al-Baa7ith-3an-il-Ma3rifah So you are going to pick one case and apply that globally to all the women in this world? While I agree that living alone is not easy and not something all women have the luxury for but you are implying that all lone women end up with a bad personality. That's just so wrong buddy!
What if the husband is a billionaire. Would u still want to leave him because he wants to marry a second wife?
@@umarmasoro1031 A 100% I would. Marriage amongst other things is also about love, peace and romance. Staying in an unhappy marriage just because he has money is something that is done by women who love nothing but money. I can live a middle class life but i can't wake up everyday unhappy and depressed.
The problem is men know what rights islam gave to them and women don't know.
1.Women can divorce a husband if he is not providing for her.
2.Women shoukd be kept like she was kept at her father's house or else she can divorce that an for not maintaining her lifestyle. ( example if father was rich husband is poor)
3.There is no compulsion for women to stay with in laws in islam. But still brown women do this out of courtesy and kindness selflessness.......they are not using their right what islam have given theem
4.If a person is having 2 wives its compulsory for him to give them seprate homes...in this modern day buying just one home is difficult for an average man.
5. Women have right to take as much mahr as she want...if a party is not ready to give that much mahr she can look for more prospects.
6. Women have right of 25 percent of fathers wealth example if there is (one son and one daughter case.)
7. Women can remarry after her divorce or husband's death which most women don't do becoz of sake of children. Women should leave children and go ahead and start a new life for themselves. Be kind to your self. What Allha has given you rights even you should use it just like men. Don't be kind to men if they are not kind to you by using islamic laws.
@@Beingher2004
So true 👍
she is literally cheated on...i would have this written in my nikkah nama that he can't marry until i am his wife..mi don't want to feel divided,not being enough for him etc....if you have the right to get another i have the right to leave you
Sadly this is against shariah. I know you will disagree but it is what it is.
Is it? I thought there can be pre-nikkah agreements @@muhammadosama2388
@@muhammadosama2388 go learn islam first and stop being a 🤡
@@muhammadosama2388no it's not, stop making things up to satisfy your whims and desires. This sheikh himself endorses that exact nikkah stipulation, and many other scholars as well. Cope.
@@muhammadosama2388 no that's not. It's an optional right man have and women can ask for him to withdraw his this right if he wants to marry her. Nobody is forcing him. He is willingly giving up this right to marry his wife. You can look up this same sheikh gave that answer. So don't impose your man made shariah on others.
@1:17 - There are NO *secret marriages* in Islam. So this guy is giving his own personal 'advice'. It's not based on Islam.
No islamicly u don't have to tell ur wife thag u married another wife
The prophet of Allah did not marry for lust, he married to protect women and honor them. Wallahi this ummah is done for!
Im sure that was the reason for all his sex slaves too
Bro 😂😂😂 protect what
He invaded he capture he raped he killed he fuck a child 9yers old come to reality men this is all wrong.
Did I heard 95% not fulfilling his desire!! Where did you get this percentage from Sheikh? truth is that most men do polygamy for extra pleasure these days, it's to fulfill their desire. If a man has a sex addiction problem then seek a counselor, but yes you are right for not being a man enough, it's also called being coward.
Nice way to generalize men.
It is a fact that people have different need, and i dont mean desire. I dont think it is appropiate to talk about these terms with a sister, but you seem confused. There is a medical term called libido, 99% you know about this already. What are you going to say to a man that feels like its been 6 months that he has been intimate (when in reality its a week), and there is a another male thats alright with once a week.
The problem is men know what rights islam gave to them and women don't know.
1.Women can divorce a husband if he is not providing for her.
2.Women shoukd be kept like she was kept at her father's house or else she can divorce that an for not maintaining her lifestyle. ( example if father was rich husband is poor)
3.There is no compulsion for women to stay with in laws in islam. But still brown women do this out of courtesy and kindness selflessness.......they are not using their right what islam have given theem
4.If a person is having 2 wives its compulsory for him to give them seprate homes...in this modern day buying just one home is difficult for an average man.
5. Women have right to take as much mahr as she want...if a party is not ready to give that much mahr she can look for more prospects.
6. Women have right of 25 percent of fathers wealth example if there is (one son and one daughter case.)
7. Women can remarry after her divorce or husband's death which most women don't do becoz of sake of children. Women should leave children and go ahead and start a new life for themselves. Be kind to your self. What Allha has given you rights even you should use it just like men. Don't be kind to men if they are not kind to you by using islamic laws.
If I want to be loved and I don't want to share his love to anyone.. am I at fault? I just want a peaceful life with my love one and no one interfere...
I don't want to be abandoned and be a second choice..
You definitely have that right. As men and women we both might fall out of love or get into circumstances where we want to leave the marriage or marry someone else. God has given us different ways to go around this.
I couldn’t agree more... and I am Bosnian muslim, in my country it isn’t common at all to have a second wife and I don’t know anyone who has two or more wifes.
We're not at fault for not willing to share what we love. Even Fatimah RA couldn't accept if Ali has another wife.
Yes, become Christian.
The problem is men know what rights islam gave to them and women don't know.
1.Women can divorce a husband if he is not providing for her.
2.Women shoukd be kept like she was kept at her father's house or else she can divorce that an for not maintaining her lifestyle. ( example if father was rich husband is poor)
3.There is no compulsion for women to stay with in laws in islam. But still brown women do this out of courtesy and kindness selflessness.......they are not using their right what islam have given theem
4.If a person is having 2 wives its compulsory for him to give them seprate homes...in this modern day buying just one home is difficult for an average man.
5. Women have right to take as much mahr as she want...if a party is not ready to give that much mahr she can look for more prospects.
6. Women have right of 25 percent of fathers wealth example if there is (one son and one daughter case.)
7. Women can remarry after her divorce or husband's death which most women don't do becoz of sake of children. Women should leave children and go ahead and start a new life for themselves. Be kind to your self. What Allha has given you rights even you should use it just like men. Don't be kind to men if they are not kind to you by using islamic laws.
I think there is a myth that we need to break. When a wife ‘shares’ her husband, she is not free to follow her hobbies when he is away. Instead, She becomes a single mother for the time the husband is away from home. She has to take care of the kids and home by herself. For the first wife to follow her hobbies, the husband should visit his second wife with his kids.
Bogus, acting as if life stops once you have a child.
@@Guts_BrandoDo you have kids?
Me who's not married still watching this 😭
sameeeee
Same and im hating such men all of a sudden bcz they don't love they're lustful bastards 😂
sameee🙂
Shut up, marrying is not that impossible. The number of males is very less than females. There are many women waiting to get married, but no proposal. The male is to the female ratio is not 1:1, and it shall decrease more in the future. You have the chance to marry, don't cry.
So?
Yes sheikh, if one of your daughters die before you, just chill if you are sensible. I see that as good situation. Sure you'd miss them a bit, but that way you won't have to provide for them.
There was a case in my country. A man had two wives, but the wives didn't know each other. He never told them he had other wife. Then he died. His children from each wife met each other and they got married. Without knowing that they're half sibling. They even had children. They knew they're actually half sibling after their children grew up. Imagine how sad they were. They had to divorce.
Men, I know it's your right (with condition which is fairness) to have multiple wives and don't need your wife's permission. You don't even need to tell them. But please, where is your compassion? I believe in Islam you shouldn't break your wife's heart. You should treat her well. Please at least tell her if you want to marry again. She deserves to know.
Allah is the most just, but human isn't.
IT IS Not every man's right It has condicions.
Not every man can Provide enough for one wive to marry a Second .
Not every man IS fair......
If the condicions are Not fulfilled you get Bad Deeds.
@@siuuu-lk3og Yes. Many marriages are ruined because husband can't be fair toward his wives. It's women and children who suffer the most in failed polygamy.
At that point I would just rather not know....
That man must be burning in hell 🤡
@@Lynn.-_-.so you will risk your kids and the other woman's kid be husband and wife? You don't think that could be a possibility?
A secret marriage in Islam?! As far as I know there is no such a thing as a secret marriage. Does the Qur’an, hadith or sunnah say so!?
Absolutely agree with you
I need info, secret marriage is prohibited in Islam. What happens when the marriage to the 2nd wife is kept secret from the 1st wife. And then after marriage it is announced via instagram. I want to know about the timing, must the notification of marriage be before the marriage?
That’s not a secret marriage. A secret marriage is marrying a woman without her Wali (guardian) knowing.
God allowed a man to have second wife
But God also allowed a woman to ask for divorce
You still have obligation to provide your child even when you divorce her, even when she takes your child away anyway
It's Islam rules
She just need to feed herself after divorce, but all child support until go to college still your obligation
Islamically, the children go to the husband. Learn your Deen.
@@Adam-qm9gh The Kids stay with the mother until they are in puberty then If the mother remmaries they Go to the father.
And still you cant prevent the mother from seeing the Kids.
@@siuuu-lk3og I read up on it further. Your correct. My apologies on the error.
I think the son goes to the father though?
@@Adam-qm9gh
Brother the mother needs to Feed them and Bring them Up so the son stays with the Mother until He reaches puberty too.
And Allah knows best.
@@siuuu-lk3og agreed. I mean post puberty
I know Islam allow to polygamy, I don't think I can tolerate my husband's 2nd wife,😂. he will be my love of my life and vice versa .
May Allah forgive and protect all Muslims dead or alive and grant us jannah by His mercy Aameen yaa Rabb🤲🏼🤲🏼🤲🏼
May peace and blessings of Allah be upon our beloved prophet his companions and entire household✨✨✨
Aameen
man do second marriege because of first wife carelessness? really? what a bullshit reply... as a islam representer , you need to be more carefull with your words
"Your first would come in you're dresms" 😂😂😂
All the women out there, please utilize your marital contract (Nikkah nama) Allah almighty has given all the rights.... You can write in your nikkah contract's clauses that you don't want your husband to marry anyone once he's married to you and you don't accept him marrying women,he will not be allowed to then marry in the shariah.... Also,a man who genuinely loves you, always remember he would never marry any other woman if you are married to him,he will never break your heart, and now please don't talk about Imam Ali and rasool because one can be Prophet Mohammad PBUH and Imam Ali,they were perfect men,our Mola!...And secondly,even they didn't marry until bibi khadija and Fatma a.s were alive
Well It's not like He can't marry another woman. He can if he wills but since you put that clause you will have the right to annul the marriage.
Allah Subhan wa tala has given a Man the right to marry upto 4 women. Do you really think that your mere clause will take that right from him?
@@tanjirokamado3934 He is not allowed to go against the marital contract,if he will it's haram on him,and he doesn't have a right to do it if he signed the marital contract, he has to abide by all the clauses writer if he signs it
@@mehakriaz1588 I don't think it's like that but you can send me the video or article from where you learned that
@@tanjirokamado3934 You can ask any Scholar,what is the use of marital contract "clauses"?that they both have to abide by it...Women any which ways have the right to end the marriage irrespective of any clause,whenever she wants!You can ask any learned men and use some common sense too
@@tanjirokamado3934”your mere clause” was so unnecessary, the mere clause puts more pressure on him to stop. Allah gave permission for SOME men under CONDITIONS. Its not an obligation. Its her RIGHT to get it written.
THIS video should be SAVED and CIRCULATED by every person who suffers from the DELUSION that MISOGYNY does not exist in the Muslim world....He SQUARELY blames the wife @2:57 mins 'It's her FAULT if you are looking for a 2nd wife' ... The fact that this person has a Chanel in which he continues to poison minds and spew hatred for women disguised as 'advice', undeterred, shows that his views are in fact endorsed by the Muslim world.
I have a child from a previous marriage, I have been married for 12 years and during that time I was unable to conceive. We spoke many times about a second wife I always refused but my husband me recently and I agreed. I know he is very pleased with me in all things and did not want to remarry but just for this one thing, he asked me and I agreed as I want for him what he wants for himself. He just remarried 5 months ago, it is very difficult for both of us as for the first time in years we are apart as I am in Uk and he is in Pakistan. He will fly here next month for some time. Pray we get through this, I am finding it so hard but I love him and he loves me I know this much.
@daval husen because he wants kids, it’s not hard to comprehend
@@ThemDessertz Have reconsidered other options like adoption?
Don´t take it in a bad way,I´m just curious.
May Allah swt reward and bless you and your family
@@hhhhhh-ho2rwA few things have to be considered before "adoption". First of all, as far as I know, adoption *IN THE WESTERN SENSE* does not exist in islam. Adoption in the Islamic sense is more along the line of *KINSHIP ADOPTION* . This is because of who is considered mahrem (immediately relative that one can't marry like father daughter, parent's brother and niece, etc) or non-mahrem to the child. This is not to say that there aren't people out there who adopt children who aren't immediately related or related at all. Another way of describing "adoption" in Islam is having *guardianship* over the adoptee. That is the word most often used.
Another concept to be aware of that we are not supposed to pass off someone else's child as our own. Preserving the lineage or family tree is important. And by that I mean who is the child's parents, where did the child come from, where did the child go, the child's self identity (and by preserving lineage I don't mean "definitely having our own children").
In some cultures if a couple have trouble conceiving then a child is passed (i wish i could think of a better word to use here) onto the childless couple. In some cases it also takes pressure off of the couple who are not well off or have too many children. This way they know where the child is, how well its being kept, can be visited etc etc. If you listen to stories by adoptees that are adopted to unrelated people then they talk about a lot of issues, especially feeling out of place. The most common ones covered are by Korean to American adoptions, but not limited to. The most unsuccessful ones covered tend to be Russian to American adoptions as very little to no history of the child is shared and that ends up creating hindrance. Quite often the adopting family tends to behave like they're taking on a pet rather than a human being. Also "renaming" the child. There was one story of a Pakistani girl who got adopted by a white family and they tried to erase her past and background, which created trauma with the girl.
There's more to be said regarding "adoption" in Islam but I think this is enough for now and I may have covered why its not a straightforward immediately considered option though of course I can't guess what original commenter approach would be.
@@madihaq2252 As a christian, I can say your explanation is interesting. In Brazil the law stabilsh that an orphan or a child in vulnerability must to be adopted priority by another person from a extended family. This child only could be adopted by a person outside of family just in case the extended family can not. This was stablished to prevent this traumas.
Very good answer sheikh alhamdulilah
This dirt bag became even more abusive to me, calling me ugly everyday because he was dating a woman over the phone. And dumping me back in his country so he can bring her .
The young woman obviously looking for money pretended to be in love with him .
Not answering the phone on me because oh I gonna ruin her future .
He divorce me 4 months later he wants to come back. He still thinks that he can manipulate me to leave the country. Who gonna marry him to go back to garbage Algeria .
Narcissist in that country is predominant.
Maby the man is already not a man enough for one woman. Therefore he thinks the problem is the wife not the fact that he is a bad husband not taking care of his obligations
Remember to watch all the way to the end for those who jump to conclusions easily it ends on a sweet note for women and you could say men.
The idea of a woman staying on after finding out, is very mature, and it’s a time for her to recognize the man was there just for status. She is not selfish and is the only one thinking about that home!! Although with time things will fall apart, she plays a big role,especially letting the children grow in a broken home!?? What’s the point of being in a marriage knowing very well you are been used?? The energy used on the second wife can be used to maintain the 1st family!? It’s about a unit here especially where there are children.🤷🏽♀️
I agree with you 100%
It's better to let it fall apart quickly and be free rather than prolong your misery
So getting a second wife means the man was just there for status??
@@AM-dn1iq depends how you interpret it.
@@swalehabubakartalib9788 please elaborate I would like to understand.
What's wrong with a man who is mentally, physically and financially capable while having he ability the treat them justly, fairly and while having a mind and heart heart sound enough that allows him to pick women based of their character rather their looks. Is there anything wrong with this.
@Birdsplant
0 seconds ago
People say that the man does not have to tell his wife. This is FALSE. He doesn't need her permission, however the Prophet pbuh said that MARRIAGES MUST BE PUBLICIZED FOR MANY LOGICAL AND PRACTICAL AND SOCIAL REASONS. So, if marriages must be publicized then OBVIOUSLY THE WIFE WOULD KNOW AND SHOULD KNOW. if the community knows! Also, a secret marriage entails lying all the time, hidden children (which is haram because kids could grow up and mistakenly marry their siblings not knowing that they even have those siblings). All of these sheikhs that hide this obvious knowledge for the sake of men's secret pleasures will be accountable to Allah. They are ruining lives and families by enabling lying.
Sisters you may not desire polygany and that's your choice. But your husband may not desire monogamy and that's his choice. Most men want a second wife. Stop thinking otherwise and accept how men are created. We don't own men.
Thing is, if I was part of the Conversation, I wouldnt necessarily mind my husband wanting a 2nd wife.
If he went behind my back and tried to bully me into accepting it by gaslighting me when I find out? I would go scorched earth and burn everything we built together down to rubble and THEN divorce him. 🤷🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️ I wouldnt keep Something life changing from hubby and I demand the same courtesy.
If he can get a second wife, can she stay married and get a second husband if he can’t provide like he promised?
Even though the wife is doing everything right for her husband (including but not limited )luv ,respect cook taking care of him n kids,helping him with work or business yet Some men have a lust of going after every pretty younger girl n wanting to marry them n do it fraudulent ways not telling their already married few times etc…I know some 😢I say such men who can’t have enough of women should tell the family of the girl before getting married that ur daughter is not the first one n won’t b the last ..it’s only fair to tell them so they’ll decide if to accept or reject such proposal 💯
Please dont say things like this.
1. The Prophet of Islam had multiple wives and he said that Allah put a lot of love in his heart. This is human nature. It is given by Allah (SWT).
2. At this point in time Zina is at its peak. In the office i worked in every married man was having or trying to have multiple affairs. This is the reason in Islam men are allowed to marry without the permission of the 1st wife. Most men love their wives and dont wish to loose their status in society so they prefer affairs over marriage. You might not like this, but this is what it is.
Btw i am a woman so i am not defending men. I just believe that if Allah has said something than no one should question it. I know it is painful to deal with but please dont try to change the rules of Allah (SWT). He knows better than we do. Men were created this way, you wishing they weren't isn't going to change them.
I have seen so many women in pain even willing to marry a married man but no wife is willing to allow it. One can only understand their pain when one goes through that situation. If we stopped running after pleasures of dunia and started running after love of Allah this situation, even though severely painful, would be handled in a kinder way for everyone involved.
@@s.e.2681??”plz don’t say “what ?? I m not sure if ur a man or a woman but u need to read my point of reference again several times if u don’t understand,ask someone who can help u understand what I’ve said,what I’ve explained is valid n it’s happening in many cases Don’t mix up Shriyat with those ppl who r addicted to going girl after girl not telling her family about previous n present wives use ur brain if it works properly 🙏there is a huge difference between “getting married to another woman without asking ur present wife”…”getting married to someone n hiding ur already married n have a wife or two ☝️this is called fraud😡DO NOT MIX FRAUD UP WITH SHARIAH go read SHARIAH again lying or tricking someone into marrying u not telling correct information about u hiding ur marriages to get married to a new girl it’s called fraud..if u live in this world then u must already know what is “Dhoka fraud “I hope if ur not one of them then now u understand the difference
@s.e.2681 So men were created that way to want more sex by different women??? No. Animals were created that way. And women are just supposed to tolerate this mess and be understanding and remain loyal to him even though he went after another woman??? I don't understand how you're asking her or any woman to accept this. This is wrong on so many levels and unjust. Disgusting mindset and increases women's mental health issues and suicide rates when they have no way out, are restricted culturally/financially/by religion.
@@s.e.2681 men aren't "created that way"- there were reasons as to why polygamy is a thing. Also Zina isn't just at it's peak regarding men- it's both genders
@@s.e.2681no one is talking about the prophet saw dont compare him to men from today’s society please 😂 open your eyes, a lot of men lust for anything even if they have the perfect wife
“I’m like your father” 😭😂😂
"It you can’t stand the heat get out of the kitchen" 😂👌🏼🙌🏼
Some men dream of to married second wife or have but not man to feed soppurt their two marraige chiidrens family 🧐😳🤔
That IS why those man are Not allowed to marry the Second because they don't fulfill the condicions and will BE asked infront of Allah Subhanu Wataala about IT.
@@siuuu-lk3og welfare feed them free
I think, men and women should discuss about it before marriage. That would be best. Cause if a man wants 2nd wife or so, she can just decide whether she wants to marry the man or not.
I'm not married.But still watching it
May Allah preserve you and give you good health
Ameen
Ameen
I am lucky that i am not part of this circus.
Excellent answer
Go ahead and run to a temporary solution , see how it works out. Most men do not have the vessel for 2-3-4 wives , and multiple children - financially, emotionally or spiritually
So let me understand it’s my fault that I am no longer an 18 year old virgin that I aged to over 40 where and I quote am “expired and undesirable” because I had birthdays that I don’t know caused me to age. So please explain to me how this is my fault. Perhaps you should think about what you say before blaming the woman.
Are you for real?? To me second and secret marriage is cheating and the husband must be dumped. Women sometimes in a very helpless situation and put up with cheating lying so called husband. Imagine if your wife cheats on you then you will know how this feels if spouse marries again. Very callous and selfish response.
It's 1st wife's fault that he's marrying other woman??? Bcz she's not fulfilling his desires??? Did sheikh just say that???
Yes. Its her fault. Why whould her husband take another wife??
I disagree with the sheik...its not 50 50..its more like 80 20😅
This day an age women from the west will leave u for something smaller then a second wife. It’s hopeless out here. Women have too much high expectations making it difficult for men
@@khoshalpashtoonmal1845 maybe talk about it before you marry her, making it easier for both parties in the future
@@Anon-uv9mj lol ahki the state of women today is pointless talking to them about. Things
@@khoshalpashtoonmal1845 you talk(in a halal way) about stuff before the marriage and if you don’t feel like marrying her you don’t. And if after discussing you do wanna marry then you do. Also im not a male.
@@Anon-uv9mj makes sense since expectations of vast population of both males & females & their families have changed over time, being up front about topics as such before marriage has become unavoidable to prevent future dilemmas it seems. May Allah (SWT) guide all of us towards good & give us good in this world & in the hereafter. Ameen
I am having the opposite problem. I didn’t know for 27 years my husband has a first wife and children. The first wife was a forced cousin marriage made by their grandparents. He never got feelings for her and she for him. He left her in her home country after their first son was 3 month old and got to know me 4 years later. We married and had a good life and 3 daughters as he went for 5 days to his homecountry alone for visiting his mother and somehow met her again. After month he got to know she was again pregnant and got a daughter who is now 14 years old. After that he never saw her again. But still I did never expect something like this and I am much hurt and in pain since I got to know before 3 months about all this. We are having 4 daughters, the oldest is already married and the second is engaged. And I want the divorce of him and her, but because of the system there and the fact that she is very old now I don’t know what is right and wrong. He told me he only wants to stay with me and never meet her again. What should I do?
Use your head?
He should’ve told u the truth from very beginning. U know ur husband, if u reall trust him, take ur decision. But remember; a person who can lie about such a big thing is harmful in general
Stay with him you have already build a life together.
I'm among the women who would blow a fuse!!
This is a man's point of view. She can be a good woman. A man will be greedy because you CAN . Whether the women like it or agree. It's the man decision to multiple. He don't have to worry about communication and respect and loyalty. He always can get another wife and the routine continues. A woman has a right not to share. She has a right to her own.
No. Men have the right to marry up to four. It's injustice for a woman to stop that by unfair means.
@@personalprofile1939it's also injustice for a man to favor a wife over another
To hide it is like betrayal.
Asalamualeykum ,
I want to share a situation , please advise me . I meet my husband 10 year ago , I ask if was marry he said no , we consive two kids one in 2012 and one in 2016 . In 2020 I found out by a paper I found on his car he got divorced one moth before my daughter was born , I did my investigation before confronting him and yes , in did he was marry since 2001 no kids and got divorce in 2016 . It hurt me so bad because wen I ask him why did he do that to me , he insult me call me the wors names and denegrat me . I'm still with him but I can't thrust him , yes I have feelings for him but is not the same . Please advice me. I really suffer from self worth and feel ugly or not worthy some times. InshaAllah you can advice me .
Salam
Sister leave it, he left his first wife for you, why dwell on the past. Move on, you have a child now.
Some ppl will find you ugly, some ppl will find you attractive, thats the world we live in. Thats life. We cannot control what others think. Dont take other ppls opinions. We should follow the sunnah, and logically we should be healthy and etc.
Sister he respects you that's why he is still with you and kids.
Dont dwell in the past and spoil kids life. A little sabr will be better for the sake of Allah suhana wa'tha'ala and kids.
I would not have confronted him at all in the 1st place bcos it was his wife than and not a mistress of girlfriend. Hope you understand what I am saying.
Much respect to him for he didn't drag you to his past life. Allahu A'alam. Bi idnillah.
Pls don't break up for satanic whisper. Fight Satan and not the one who married you, your kids father.
Dress sexi? Could u not use less filth in ur wording? This a PG website u know
@@nak141 but he did kept a big secret from her and its not a good thing
I thought lying is one of the biggest sins in islam. Don't Allah's guidelines count anymore if it's about men's desires? How can someone marry secretly??
allah bless you
Would you like your good deeds to continue increasing even after your death?
The Prophet (sa) said "When a man dies, his good deeds come to an end except three; ongoing charity, beneficial knowledge, and righteous offspring who will pray for him." (Muslim)
Please share my channel with your contacts, and inshaAllah if they benefit and teach others this will count as beneficial knowledge and your good deeds will continue to increase even after your death as long as the benefit continues inshaAllah.
JazakhAllah khair...
Sheikh needs to know that 4 wives is a Mans right
He can and will marry if he can afford so.
Regardless of the opinion of the woman.
Look world is so messed and trust honesty doesnt exist anymore i think forget men women should be married to 4 husbands lets see how that feels 🎉
50% are sensible and 50% will blow a fuse?????? Give me a break.
Beautiful answer with real facts
Islam knew the first wife will be depressed still you know they will have second wife.
Yeah, why care about a wifes Depression. She'll get over it😂. SubhanAllah. But the wife has to fulfill the husbands needs, but the husbands may bethe cause for the wifes Depression. No Problem. SubhanAllah
For anyone commenting their opinions and feelings, consider this: Do you have knowledge and scholarship regarding in depth Islamic matters? If the answer is no, your thoughts are invalid, baseless, and useless. Islam is not based on your feelings, my feelings, nor anyone else’s feelings. It’s based on the guidance of Allah, The Messenger-peace be upon him, and the lifestyle of the companions.
Yeah a cult made by men for men. Sick!
Marrying 4 wives is not a must it's up to man's hand .
That doesn’t have anything to do with what I said. Who said it’s a must? If it was obligatory, then everyone would have to do it. What is it exactly that you’re presenting?
If a man is not content with his wife, why does he not divorce her right away,. instead of looking for a second one in secret and hurting her more. That is what I do not understand.
So a good woman will fulfill every one of your desires and serve you AND be fine with you marrying a second wife? Please get ahold of yourself. How is it okay that the "sensible" first wife would be "a little depressed" about her husband marrying a second wife??? How is that okay? Where is your compassion? The reason men are allowed to marry more than one woman is especially for times of war when there are more women than men and when they can't take care of themselves in the society. A second wife isn't merely for a man's pleasure. Come on......
first of all are you a muslim? do you know about islam? if not then dont speak about it!
@@hasansaleem4983 I am and I'm practicing and I know a lot about Islam.
Sister then u should know not to mix emotions and logic with Islam. Islam is just a guideline it’s not a feeling. It permits men to fulfil their rights of having more then one spouse Allaah has ordained it but not other way round women cannot marry more then one man. If a man wants to take up another spouse and hes man enough to do it he will after evaluating wether it’s financially possible. U will find men out there who are compassionate with first wife yet have more needs and they will take another spouse. 1500 years ago it was a normal custom for the companions who were th best men to walk this earth and were to use ur words “compassionate” and our prophet s.a.w was “compassionate” to be married to more then 1 woman at a time. Because they didn’t mix their emotions and logic with religion and the women of those days understood the religion better then any woman in today’s age. This day an age the corruption the false western narratives feeding women’s and men’s minds taking us away from sunnah that when the polygyny issue comes up everyone’s afraid making us respond the way we do to life situations. This is why Muhammed salalahu alayhi wa salam left us the sunnah to follow so that we be guided to what is fair and what isn’t when it comes to men’s and women’s rights both are to be fulfilled by each other.
Ha ha another keyboard shaikha
@@khoshalpashtoonmal1845 I am okay with a man having multiple wives, because men were made weak to women; but what I am not comfortable with is a man keeping his wives a secret from one another. Isn't keeping a secret a form of a lie? Because, it gives false impression to the women; and lying is a major sin in Islam. Whenever one of his wives ask him, "Where are you going?", he has to lie again in order to keep his secret.
As far as I am aware, a man has to scedule his weeks and divide it among his wives. If he ever gives a portion of his second wife's time to his first wife, then he has to let his second wife know and even it out with her. Other than that, it is a major sin. Therefore, my question is, if a man marries his wives in secret, the first wife is completely unaware that, he is giving her times away to some other women. So, is it not supposed to be prohibitted in Islam? Also, where is the love and "compassion" then if he is keeping the main people in his life a secret? The Prophet(PBUH) and the Sahabas did not keep their wives a secret from one another. Even before the end times of Prophet Muhammad(PBUH), he was incapable of moving around due to his illness, and he called out to all of his wives and asked for "permission" from them to only stay with Ayesha(RA), to which they agreed.
So, how does a secret marriage even work?
I am not the most knowledgeable person, and I am just curious to know the truth.
As much as a man does not need permission, it's the moral and logical thing to do. Need to be ready to face the consequences. Many men don't know the conditions for a second marriage nor the punishment for not treating spouse fairly.
he should have asked her if he could marry a second one, that's the rule.
Making up rules now
isn’t it wrong to take a second wife in secrecy in islam
It is wrong to take any wife in secrecy. There are NO secret marriages in Islam. This fellow knows nothing about Islam. His is following and preaching his own value system and principles not those prescribed by Allah swt and he is following his own 'conjectures' as the Quran calls it.
When the time comes and she is upset do not shame her just promise her that it can work and to trust you
“Because it’s her fault that you want a second wife”…
What? Even when kids are involved too. This is so sad. I started research to become a Muslim and all of my research has pointed me to absolutely not
Brother or sister, please don’t stop your reasarch. A women is allowed to divorce her husband if he gets another way. She would not be accountable for that
Please stay away from this cult.
~ an ex muslim here.
Do ur research properly and listen to what ex muslims all over the internet have to say. Wishing u all the peace and happiness.
You're the cult@@Heybudd91
Sister Allah will make you understand fiqh rulings. Do not be discouraged and keep researching and read the quran! Once you become a muslim, Allah will make little fiqh matters clear!
Yes if it’s really the case!
A secret marriage? Why would a second wife agree to a marriage where she is kept a secret & can be visited for very few hours (bc otherwise it will be obvious) & how would the husband stay over the night with her? Would he lie saying something else? A husband doesn’t need the permission to get the second wife. But ofc if he knows that the first wife will refuse to do anything with him & only demand for divorce because of jealousy, he should consider which outcome he would want more.
And as for women, mention that you do not agree to the second wife in your marriage contract, if you really don’t want it, and don’t want to fight over it in the future. But at the end of the day you may be jealous over it, but just do realize that he isn’t doing something wrong for wanting to have a second wife. Whether that’s what you want for yourself or not is your choice (but what matters is that you don’t deny the concept of polygamy altogether)
The men don't need permission but they must inform or even consult with their wives before taking the second wife. She is your partner. You share with her your kids, your house, she builds your home. She is your secret keeper. How can one not think of informing her about something so big as a second nikah? You inform her everything about what happened to you through the day but you're not a man enough to inform her before hand about you trying to build a second household with another woman. That's plain insensitive. Remember she's a human being, as smart as you and as emotional or may be more emotional than you. If after that she refuses to be the part of this sunnah then it's her fault but you can't be nagging about it.
@@9shien why are you saying ‘you’😂im not a man
@@Anon-uv9mj I know. I saw your other comments too. This 'you' is for men who were justifying not informing wife about it in the other comment thread. It's also a common practice of writing a sentence in second person form but does not always mean to the person directly.
Yes, men lie, they live a secret double life, and they have to remember where they were, that’s why there is no point of leaving your house, because you never know which one is truthful.
As far as I know in our deen Islam there is NO such a thing as a secret marriage. Does Qur’an, hadith or sunnah say so?!
It's her fault I don't agree. Many men have a great wife but cheat outside as its easy to dare women outside.
Wait, men take a second wife because it's the first wife's fault? She doesn't take care of his needs? Maybe it's because she's got too many other responsibilities
If the man doesn't have the guts to tell his first wife beforhand, then that doesn't seem like love or respect to me at all. How will that woman ever be able to trust him again? What kind of relationship is that. That is one of emotional distance and abuse. If the wife is emotionally distanced then she will accept 3 wives if she is fed and clothed well. But that doesn't sound like a maritial relationship, more of a business one. Well if it works for some couples, go for it.
But I believe for pairs who truly value and respect one another and are able to fullfill each others needs, zina or polygamy is NOT an option.
There was a time in my life when I would have welcomed a second wife into my marriage (the first time I understood that concept): when I didn't want and love my husband any longer, but I thought it would be best to stay together for the kids.
Somebody explain it to me I thought we were allowed to have up to four wives so what’s the problem is the problem that he married and secret isn’t supposed to be that the first wife has the second wife
Yess men are allowed but some women don't like the idea of their husband marrying another woman
Jazak Allah khair
It's her fault... It's always her fault isn't it. Classic.
I Advice you all not to take your Knowledge from this Man Assimalhakeem. He praises people that have Innovations such as At Turayfi and Al Munajjid. Our Prophet ﷺ warned us about who we take as our Companions. So we have to Obey Allah by following people who exhibit Righteousness and not people that praise those that Innovate in the Deen. Cos Innovation is worse than Major Sins and is next in line after Shirk. So I advice you all to stay away from Assimalhakeem until he Repents publicly. This is the way of the Salaf. May Allah Guide him and us all. Ameen
What about a wonderful woman done job gave money children but got cancer and his husband left her 😢😢😢
My husband gave me 3 days and got married in secretly is that permissible
Sheikh looks BarakAllah fi cute in the thumbnail of the video!
She doesn’t have to cook and dress up every other day but might be a little depressed 😮😢
2:23 😂😂😂
Thank God in my country most women are ok with the men marrying second wives. Polygamy is so common in our culture.
Which cultures this thats sad habit
@@rice78692 Sad in your eyes but not sad in the eyes of God.
Read the Quran and realize your obligations. It's not Fard to marry multiple wives. It is preferred to marry only one, because you won't be able to treat them equally. And I'm Not the one to tell you what happens if you don't treat them equally. Before you do Zina or marry the next wife. Talk to your wife. Go to couples therapy.
Allah Made us in pairs ( you can also read that in the Quran) not in triangles, qubes, or pentagons.
@@user-se7gt4hi3g 😀 I should go to therapy because I want to marry a second wife. You are really funny. Given your mindset if u have opportunity u won't hesitate to erase that verse of the holy Quran that approved polygamy. May Allah SWA forgive you.
I am not saying people should needlessly do polygamy. No. What I am saying polygamy is Halal and we Muslims of this generation should stop having jaundiced eyes against it.
@@umarmasoro1031erase which verse? The one where he sais if you cannot be just then marry only one? Or the one: and you will not be able to be just.
She asks for divorce than give her divorce. She deserves what she asks!
Yep, like she's not asking you to divorce your second wife, it's fine if you married again, but if the wife is not comfortable then I feel like she has the right to have a divorce
@@warriorprincess7901it's not a valid reason to ask for divorce she won't smell jsnnah good luck
Foolish person, why a wife has to be opressed? Go learn Islam, your knowledge is embarrassing@@AM-dn1iq
@@AM-dn1iqstop trying to trap and oppress women. The prophet SAW granted a divorce for a woman, simply because she no longer loved her husband. It's a sahih hadith. Men like you want to keep women oppressed and abuse the religion for your own whims and desires. Disgusting.
@@AM-dn1iq yess it is valid cause many times Muslim men do unfair treatment to their wives and favor one over another. That why some women don't like the idea of their husband remarrying
Sheikh is being too apologetic Allah have a Man a right to marry 4 he will marry 4 if he wants.
SHE HAS NO RIGHT TO SAY NO
ALLAH GAVE HIM THAT RIGHT HE WILL PURSUE IT.
If your wife doesn't like you to marry second wife Than don't marry
Because Qu'ran says if you can't just to them *Than marry only one*.
"If you can't stand the heat Get out of the kitchen "
Allah allows divorce for women if they unhappy in a
Marriage polygamous or monogamous
This situation is very difficult. But you have to become man and have to face this😊
MashaAllah
Wow! How men always get a free pass.
I was about to like this video then sh aasim said be ready to give her the divorce because it's her fault 🧐 when we know in MOST cases it is because men can't lower their gaze! They can't even properly look after the 1st wife & kids but they out chatting up co-workers or social media women etc
Not a fair & balanced answer by generalizing that women are at fault in most cases.
If husband is doing all he must in the 1st place she would be able to better care for him but she is doing way more than what is required of her islamically & now he wants another wife out of lust when he can't even see to 1 wife as he rightfully should.
No wonder the non Muslims like to say Islam is oppressive astaghfirullaah.
hiding ur 2nd marriage from 1st wife is haram..uh can check so uh cant keep it as a secret..nd even if uh do she will get to know where are uh half of the time
Having a woman's love is a gift God reserves for special people.
See the Peacock. All that dance is to attract a female.
Is that HALAKL?
I have been married 65 years. Because I followed Allah. Not this incorrect version Quran. Mohamad was not a fool.