WHEN WOMEN IN POLYGAMOUS MARRIAGES LET THEIR RIGHTS GO
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- Опубликовано: 29 сен 2024
- The case of the halal side chick details what happens when a second, third or fourth wife let's go of her rights as a wife and the consequences of that in her life as a wife.
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This video is created with the islamic perspective in mind however, whoever finds it relevant and beneficial is also more than welcome to take lessons from it.
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Coaching Enquiries: nafisatuakilu@gmail.com all, in this video, find out the things that you as a woman should acknowledge and cherish about your husband and thus contribute to a happier marriage.
Why marry 2 woman when you can't look after them.
Why look after them when they can take care of themselves
@@gymlover6514because it’s the responsibility of the husband
Because then u can't have sex with them 😂
Sex simple!!
Its for sexual desires and needs, if a man applies critical thinking, he would not burden himself and the 2nd wife... testosterone is a power chemical, some have more than others making it difficult to think straight for some.
It’s not for everyone. Men must be careful of how they their family less they be deemed an oppressor of women. Allah swt hates oppression. Such men appear on judgment day with the right sides of their body dragging. On the other hand, note that Shariah provides several types or forms of nikkah to accommodate different situations. Women should consider that when being completely provided for obligates her to as well.
Nafisa came back from delivery room and said "Im baaaaack with a bang" 🎉🎉🎉🎉 We appreciate this so much❣️❣️
😂😂😂 absolutely!
The one important thing u left out. Who has to have the anal and oral intercourse? 1st wife has the vaginal....what if husband almighty has cravings for freaky sex?
@@NafisasPearlz my husband has a ‘side chic’ it’s been three years of Zina between them. At first I encouraged polygamy but I’ve come to a place were I am purely enraged. This lady feels entitled to my husband. She has a child from a bf and my husband and I have three kids. I have asked for a divorce but he refuses me a divorce and refuses giving up this haram relationship. How do I deal with this? I basically am in a nightmare.
@@Allahaloneknows Wake up from the nightmare into reality. Why living a horrific dream?
@@aminaahmet1025 I don’t know what to do. Family isn’t helping at all
This whole video shows why it's just best to have one wife if you have to get married. No matter what you do, one or all of them will be unhappy for any number of "reasons".
The problem is the language. Some Muslim "wives" are not really wives, they are mistresses (or side-chicks). Now "right-hand" slavery is illegal, this is just a halal way of letting men sleep with lots of women. Its exactly like RIBA free loans: an excuse for a big scam. Just be honest if the role going is mistress - and given the man can leave with 3 talaqs she has no security anyway - just call it "halal" mistress! There are almost no people on earth of any gender/ sexual preference that want to and can live in a polyamorous relationship, it almost always ends badly.
A mistress is someone a man go to for sex, love, caring loyal companionship without provning is not the same thing
What is "provning" FFS. If you mean providing, a sex worker gets paid just the same as Muslim misyar or mutah wife. In fact she probably gets paid more and is certainly safer from being assaulted, beaten etc. Oh, and she she has to be 18!!@@gymlover6514
@@gymlover6514 If I provide a man can get another husband? are nuts, Why a married man should spend the family's money for having fun with another woman?
Eew why would u take care of yourself and then share a man?!
I don't understand why these good married Muslim men don't just find a good Muslim husband for the single sister out of love for her as well as his own wife, instead of marrying her. Makes sense! And about the sister feeling like she is in love with this married man, this is a bit of a lousy excuse. Yes it can hurt, but a lot of things hurt and that's life. I've come across married men in my life who seem to be the "ideal" but to come between a man and a woman (and children too) just doesn't sit right with me. Sometimes I'd prefer that men get married to two women to begin with so at least polygamy did not hurt "first wives" as much, as it was polygamous to begin with!
It hurtful to live with😢
Maa shaa Allah! This was on point ukhti! As a first wife i can say that Polygyny is definitely a rollercoaster of emotions but if we all practiced emotional intelligence we all can make being married to the same man beautiful! I can't wait to watch your video on the sacrifices of first (initial) wives. There needs to be more positive light shed on this not so forgotten Sunnah 😅 JazakAllahu Khayr sis💚
😂 Yes absolutely and I love your description of “not so forgotten sunnah”.
I will do my best to make a video related to the first wife insha’Allah.
Shame on you ladies. Brothel house is better than this
How do I find a second wife?
Why you think you deserve this humiliation? I can not understand this masochists you pretend that you are ok with. You are sham to other women in the world.
The men should do things in an honerable way, open from the start, going via the masjid ect… many these day are sneaky like alley rats making the 1st wife’s feelings null and void.
Beautiful discussion! Big facts and points expounded upon. The married/side chick mentality is a real thing. Additionally, I've observed that it's not always the issue of a man marry again but how he goes about doing it.
Absolutely.
wow I cant believe women do this to them self, when they can find a single men who can taker of her.
@@aisham1057 ok so there are many good arguments for polygamy, but its simply untrue that there are twice as many women in the world
@@aisham1057 There are 102 women for every 100 men. Please check your numbers.
@@ginapetonito There’s more men than women in the world. However not all could make food husbands or are in the same age range.
@@Marwadear512 There are more women than men in the world. The reason is that there are considerably more older women than older men because men tend to die at younger ages than women. As far as the ratio of marriageable men to women, the ratio is 91 men to 100 women of never married men between 25-34 years, calculated as employed men to all women of the same age. Same age group: All men to all women is 126 men to 100 women. The ratio is even better for employed childless men to employed childless women: 152 men to 100 women. These are all 2012 numbers. I doubt things have changed so drastically in 11 years. Just so you know, there is an entire area of study that develops these ratios. It is called demography, an area I have studied. So I am not pulling these numbers out of a hat.
Finally, people need to get out of this scarcity mentality. I personally know of several single Muslim men looking for spouses right now and they are having a hard time finding "suitable" women. Just like they are not "settling," don't settle sisters. Expect that the man you marry gives you your rights in Islam. Expect nothing less and don't listen to any whisperings of the shaitan that you can't do better because of some illusory "man shortage."
Not only that in the west there are Muslim men arriving on boats every single weeks, hundreds every week, few women arriving here the men here are plentiful,
This might sound cringe but your my inspiration Ma shaAllah like the way you Carry yourself with such class it’s just really beautiful Allahumma barik May Allah reward you Amin 🤍🌸
Jazaka’Allahu khairan my dear sister. It’s not cringe at all, we all those who inspire us in some way so may Allah bless you.
With the No Strings Nikkah (Mesyar) on the rise, this was a very much needed message. And everything starts before marriage. How we negotiate and communicate our needs and boundaries. Before getting married, be always willing to walk away and show it. Let them know that having a second wife is indeed a luxury and they have to make an effort. Allah is the provider, not these men sisters!
A Salamou Alikoum Sister, and the mercy of Allah and His blessings.
I don't agree with you that God allowed polygamy in Islam.
Respected Sister, with all due respect, I challenge you to find a single verse in which Allah, the Exalted, permits polygamy for men.
As for the verse you mentioned to justify polygamy, Allah says (Quran, Surah An-Nisa - 2): " وَإِنْ خِفْتُمْ أَلَّا تُقْسِطُوا فِي الْيَتَامَىٰ فَانكِحُوا مَا طَابَ لَكُم مِّنَ النِّسَاءِ مَثْنَىٰ وَثُلَاثَ وَرُبَاعَ ۖ فَإِنْ خِفْتُمْ أَلَّا تَعْدِلُوا فَوَاحِدَةً أَوْ مَا مَلَكَتْ أَيْمَانُكُمْ ۚ ذَٰلِكَ أَدْنَىٰ أَلَّا تَعُولُوا"
Allah Almighty speaks in this verse about marriage to orphan girls and not all women.
Upon reflecting on the Quran, we find in the preceding verse from Surah An-Nisa, verse 2: "وَآتُواْ الْيَتَامَى أَمْوَالَهُمْ وَلاَ تَتَبَدَّلُواْ الْخَبِيثَ بِالطَّيِّبِ وَلاَ تَأْكُلُواْ أَمْوَالَهُمْ إِلَى أَمْوَالِكُمْ إِنَّهُ كَانَ حُوبًا كَبِيرًا".
In this verse, Allah establishes the general rule of returning the orphans' wealth to them upon reaching maturity, as indicated in Surah Al-Isra, verse 34, Surah Al-An'am, verse 152, and Surah An-Nisa, verse 10. Then, the exception or specific ruling comes immediately after in Surah An-Nisa, verse 3, allowing a man who cannot or does not want to return the wealth to marry the orphan girls. Allah has permitted this for the protection and guarantee of the rights of orphans.
Evidence for this can be found in the same Surah An-Nisa, verse 127: "وَيَسْتَفْتُونَكَ فِي النِّسَاء قُلِ اللَّهُ يُفْتِيكُمْ فِيهِنَّ وَمَا يُتْلَى عَلَيْكُمْ فِي الْكِتَابِ فِي يَتَامَى النِّسَاء الَّلاتِي لاَ تُؤْتُونَهُنَّ مَا كُتِبَ لَهُنَّ وَتَرْغَبُونَ أَن تَنكِحُوهُنَّ وَالْمُسْتَضْعَفِينَ مِنَ الْوِلْدَانِ وَأَن تَقُومُواْ لِلْيَتَامَى بِالْقِسْطِ وَمَا تَفْعَلُواْ مِنْ خَيْرٍ فَإِنَّ اللَّهَ كَانَ بِهِ عَلِيمًا"
Here, some men asked the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, about this issue, and Allah answered that He had explained the ruling regarding marrying orphan girls in the preceding verse .
In English God says in Surah An-Nisa, verse 127: "They ask you ˹O Prophet˺ regarding women. Say, “It is Allah Who instructs you regarding them. Instruction has ˹already˺ been revealed in the Book concerning the orphan women you deprive of their due rights but still wish to marry".
Where is the verse that mentions the orphan girls in the Book (Quran) that these questioners want to marry? If you search the entire Quran, you will not find any verse discussing the topic of marriage and returning the wealth of orphans except in Surah An-Nisa, verse 3. This proves that Allah speaks in Surah An-Nisa - 3 about orphan girls and not about all women.
The translation into English of Surah An-Nisa, verse 3, was wrong. God Almighty said: And if you fear that you will not be treated justly with regard to orphans, then marry as many women as you please, two, a third, and a quarter.” That means
, they married orphan women (Girl), not all women, and women in the Qur’an mean women of marriageable age, so that it is not understood as a mistake that they marry minors and children. The verb “So they marry you” came in the form of an imperative, not a choice
This exception is not strange in the Quran. For example, if a person cannot find water for Woudou, they are allowed to perform tayammum.
One muslim court should be necessary to take actions against this type of oppressed women
11:37 😂 in an ideal world he spends 6 months with his first wife and 6 months with his side chick 😂 muslim lecture 😂😂😂 is great
Assalamu ‘alaykum Nafisa, just wanted to tell you that I enjoy watching your content. You’re like big sister to me, your advice is precious for someone like me who’s in their early twenties and trying to navigate trough "the real" adulthood! My Allah bless you with kheir and allow us to meet in jannah ❤️❤️
Ameen my dear sister in Islam. May Allah bless us with Jannah and the ability to meet. ❤
امين يا الله
So, my relative married a second wife and told his first wife about it. First wife refused to accept it even after a year of persuasion and he finally decided to abandon his second wife for fear that his first wife would leave him and bring his children with her. After 10 years the second wife remains unmarried while the first wife holds the position that she would leave the husband if he were to live with the second wife. When approached by the extended family to maintain justice the husband just says that his intentions were pure and Allah knows why he was forced to give up his second marriage and that he has the God given right to divorce the second wife since sje does not have any children. The disagreement continues between the families. May be polygyny should be made illegal and punishable so no one suffers. But I have other men in the family who were able to maintain justice and dignity in their plural marriages regardless of whether they were able to persuade their the initial wife or not. So not entirely sure what to make of this. Cuz men use Allah's name to defend their actions. In the case of the above mentioned uncle, he is so confident that Allah understands him and he would explain to Allah on the the day of judgement.
Good video. Interesting. Also a probelm in non polygamous marriages - surely it is important for a man to provide is well at all times. As that is an on going problem nowadays even in muslims as the are men are just not willing to provide and expect the woman to pay half the bills - and believe in equal rights? I had the same problem therefore, left that man for good. A 50 year old indian gujrati man who sent all his money back to his country yet over here he didn't even have a proper job, flat, car - and then was struggling to find a place then just placing me in a garden shed! Total loser.
Unfortunately, it's a problem nowadays sad to say, even in the ummah especially in indian men - as they tend to be very weak.
One of the reasons I just wish I was born and brought up in a good Muslim country, envy the women there and their lifestyles!
Difficult to find a real man now. I just don't think men are mature or fair enough for polygamy these days - yet when women complain due to the abuse of polygamy they then penalise them! Think it still works in Muslim countries and certain cultures- in the UK theirs been alot of disaster stories.
Btw, nobody can be just. From what I read of the Sunnah The Prophet certainly was not.
Assalaamu alaykum at last someone has talked it about this topic from this angle. May Allah reward you Jazakillah khair! Expressed very well, and everything was on point. Alhamdulilah
I’m loving it, جزاك اللهُ خيرًا despite being a mother and having a busy life, the mere fact that you’re making time to deliver such amazing topics, keep throwing gems at us, much needed ❤
Alhamdulilah sis. I’m greatfull to Allah who enables me to do this and Jazaka’Allahu khairan for watching always ❤
@@NafisasPearlz wa iyaki dear sister Nafisa ♥️
I understand all that the sister is saying but i feel like most of these 2nd 3rd or 4rth wifes end up living like a sidechicks to their husbands is because they indeed accepted those kind of marriages for the wrong reasons. Some like desperation, money, etc..
Sisters if you are going to marry just make it for Allah and everything that comes with it inshallah Allah will make it easy for you. But if you marry for the wrong reasons you will probably end up in a horrific marriage.
Preach sister. Nothing but the truth. These are important issues that people need to consider before getting committed to a polygamous marriage
SubhanaAllah!!!!! Sis you wasn’t playing or holding nothing back on this right here😅😅😅😄😄 This was sooo good strong points you talked on and much needed!!!!! Thanks for sharing this with us all 🤲🏾🤲🏾🌹🌹
This seems like a ‘Western’ issue or a problem faced by Muslims living in the West. Men are supposed to be ‘Qawamun’ but instead they are becoming LAZIER & LAZIER and more ENTITLED by the day in the West and a LOT has to do with a) the way these ‘men’ were raised by their parents b) the availability of ‘other’ (haram) options in society which no one seems to be calling these men out for and last but not least c) an impotent Muslim community that just stands and watches but does nothing to stop or change this.
I live in Ghana. This isn’t just a Western issue. Men here are getting lazier and lazier as well.
@@fatimaaddy6535 I agree 💯
@@fatimaaddy6535 Is Ghana a Muslim country? Present day Muslim countries do have all sorts of issues (esp. political, economic, education etc) but I haven’t yet seen this specific disease of losing your ‘Gheera’ spread in the Muslim countries - right now it seems very localized and prevalent among non-Muslim men. Complete shamelessness and lack of dignity (for lack of a better or ‘equivalent’ word in English to the word ‘Gheera’) - Maybe there is a REASON the word is entirely MISSING in the English language. It’s disgusting to say the least. And Muslim men in the West also seem to catching it from their surroundings.
Exactly! Imams and leaders turn a blind eye to the vices “Muslim” men fall into in the West. I’ve seen some Dawah channels where the girlfriend is about to take shahada (some very reluctantly) and this is supposed to be an exciting event for viewers yet the elephant in the room doesn’t get addressed. How did he meet this woman? What was he engaged in and has he been in an ongoing haram relationship? None of those things are permissible in Islam but it’s just conveniently brushed under the carpet. Had it been a Muslim woman engaging in such sin she would be raked over the coals.
Blaming "The West" is easy and lazy. The issue is bigger than that and The West doesn't raise families people do. The "other" option is available everywhere. "Muslim" countries have the exact same problems as everyone else.
MashAllah great message as usual. BUT I don't understand why the wifes should become friends? They could also just live their lifes seperate from each other happily.
@@aisham1057 what do you mean? I never said they should hate each other but I don't understand why they have to be friends, I know two women that are married to the same man(my friends older sister) but the wifes have nothing to do with each other! Nobody said they need to hate or fight each other. So what do you mean?!?
@@aisham1057 dear sister Aisha, do me a favour and read what I have wrote in the comments. I'm not sure what exactly you understood but maybe you didn't quite get it. Anyhow stay safe and Salam Alaikum ✌🏾
I didn't hear her saying that...they don't have to be friends. Especially not close friends. However, as the Muslims they are, they should love each other for the sake of Allah and be at least amicable with each other. And be intelligent as well. Sometimes, one of the wives becomes ill or dies and her children end up under the care of the other wife. So it is only wise not to hate her. You never know.
@@BlueBlue23 where and when have I wrote they should hate each other??? It starting to get funny, like do you guys read what I wrote and try to twist the words?
True! When my husband married his cousin, I stayed in the US and let him go to his country but she didn’t have a baby so he wasn’t happy with her and they got divorced.
Interesting the thoughts on this subject. IMO, the crux of the matter is being responsible as a man which has entirely nothing, absolutley nothing to do with him having one wife or more than one wife. We've got monogamous marriages where the woman supports the household financially because Allah has blessed her more or a sister aspiring marriage to a brother who is not as financially sustaining as she is, would you tell her selfishly that is a red flag to giveup some of her rights?
We are better off taking and relating narrations from the time of the prophet ( peace and blessings be upon him) for guidance and relation in public spaces that uttering bas3d on our desires which can lead or mislead lots of people which we would ultimately be accountable for on the day of qiyyamah.
May Allah rectify us and make us see the truth as truth and accept it and falshood as falsehood and distance ourselves from it. Aameen!
Thank you for being realistic on polyginy, sister. I listen also to outstandingpersonalrelationships, but they moreover romanticise polyginy without pointing out enough issues of a polyginy. They more talk about how amazingly they managed their polyginy as tips for us. It feels like they want an applause for their achievements instead of teaching us about polyginy.
I agree. Its not deep enough. Glossed over and generic content. But I appreciate the platform. This video here was more deep and honest and it is SO needed because this topic and lifestyle is no joke.
@@sweatpea2 Exactly what I think. I tried to point this out to them, but they become defensive, then abusive: troll, unable to understand, no capacity to understand, disingenuous at least, weird emotional reaction... They lose credibility with me every time due to a lack of sincerity and authenticity.
@@aminaahmet1025they're fake and trying to earn money.
I agree with u, they gloss over things but don’t talk about deep issues. Polgmny is being abused by so many I just don’t understand why this isn’t being raised as an issue.
This is unbiased to the First Wife
Question: Can women put in the contract before marriage, for their husbands to not marry a second wife?
No sister ,
And anyway the man can always leave and marry another woman.
Yes you can, because the man can have 4 four wives but a woman have the right to accep it or not. Better discuss about it before the marriage and even including it in the contract.
Hope that can help!
Study the fiqh of marriage, it will help you!
Assalam'aleykoum Warahmatoullah !
You can request it but it's his choice to agree or not.
Yes you can
@@FatimataSambaWa alaykum Salam, Thank you for the response.
If brothers would follow the Sunnah the way our beloved Prohet Muhammad sahlahi wa salaam lived his life a lot of these problems our Ummah face will not be happening
i agree, they say we follow the sunnah of prophet but they done follow his conduct and on the upfront they lecture women to be like prophets wives. its hypocracy of them
Masha-Allah sister , may Allah's Divinely providence be Upon you and your entire family Ameen.
May Allah increase you with GOODNESS and UNDERSTANDING
Sis droppin GEMS! Allahumma Barik 💕
First wife here. My husband just got engaged and it’s killing me inside. I’m glad I watched this video. I am putting myself in the shoes of the soon to be 2nd wife and I will ensure she will be getting her rights. I don’t want him to marry another, but inshallah I will be rewarded for this emotional hardship. I also got to look out for my sister wife because she seems to want to give up a ton of her rights and that is not fair or right. Thanks Nafisa. 💕
May Allah bless and protect the sisters who defend the religion beautifully. I am so grateful to Allah to be able to see this. SubhanAllah
I hope you wake up one day. A husband can only be married to 1 wife, every other woman is just a girlfriend. Ans every husband that has a girlfriend is no true husband so you should go and find yourself one.
Incredibly powerful and a topic that must be discussed which you have done beautifully. May Allah swt reward you in abundance.
Polygamy is hard
How
@@aminah761 because it takes alit of patience
How would you feel if your husband say to you that his second wife is better than you in everything??????
وَعَلَيْكُمْ السَّلاَمُ وَرَحْمَةُ اللهِ وَبَرَكَاتُهُ
Thank you for the discussion you are talking about me, i have foregone so many of my rights i don't even expect my husband to treat me when am sick and it ended up depressing me
I've literally learnt your intro by heart - where you describe yourself lool
Today the number of men is more than number of women so we should talk abot polyandrey instade of polygamy, especially todays' women have capacity and money to marry several men instade of a half or a quater man
Are you Muslim?
If a woman marries several men she won’t know the baby daddy!
@@ummaryam1 no dear there is DNA test and everyone knows who is his daddy🙂 these reasons are already too old and unacceptable
@@keystohappiness497It doesn't matter. Are you going to be obedient to 4 men? Have kids for 4 men? Sexually please 4 men?
Stop speaking before it takes u to hellfire sister
Go where you are treated best poligamy.
Nafisa ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤ May Allah bless you abundantly 🙏🙏🙏
Assalamualaikum warehmatullahi wabarkatahu
Lovely discussion
JazakAllah khair
Girllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll
Thank you so much for your guidance sis. Although I was Born in a very religious Christian family it was always Muslim men who approached me , i dont know why. I also got married to a Muslim and have two children with him
I know him since 16 years but I am thinking of a divorce for several reasons and we dont live together at this time.
There is one man from palestine who asked me if i would agree him to marry also a second wife if we would get married. I said no. Now i am in a kind of waiting Position what he will do next.
Your videos help me a lot
You want to marry with another woman's husband? How you can break a woman's pride to have fun with her husband?
Sisters a marriage contract is where u set ur boundaries
That he can decide to disrespect after marriage. Then what do you do? Divorce him?
This video is appreciated. Thank you! New subscriber here. 🥰
Are you in a polygamous marriage?
I think it's only appropriate for those in polygamous relationships to have a say in this as it can be very easy for single or first wives to encourage sisters to be patient whilst their man's eyes are looking elsewhere but in reality they would find this difficult to deal with.
Salaam aleikom sister please talk more about this insha Allah ❤
Nope, you’re not part of his family…. What he needs to work on is having a family with you… regardless if you two have children or not..
This was a much needed for me
Alhamdulilah
Are you planning to sleep with another women's husband, or your husband has plan to sleep with another woman?
MashAllah....u right. Dont devalue yourself.
😢thank you so much. i needed to hear this jizakAllahu khyr.Asalaum alaykum
I think I can accept the fact that when you enter in a marriage be helpful and always provide due to feeling pity. It because harder to change along the way. I can attest to that.
May Allah bless you sister
This video really gave me clarity about polygamy thank you
You are beautiful Nafisa Allahouma barik❤
I’m searching for a second wife
Stop your search. Take care of your wife.
Thank you ❤
Sisters don't have the right to override what Allah dictates.
Alhamdulillah beautiful words of wisdom.
Am not
Jazakallah Khaira for the converse Nafisa!
I feel like as time passed, the world would shift to accepting polygamous marriage, even in the West. It is so weird that we women do not like to share which is so weird because we all know that men (Muslims) have Hoor-ul-ayn. So, whether we like it or not, there are women for them. And our disregard or dislike is kind of futile.
On that note, the present LGBTQ campaign, and the pushes within the law to have it recognized happened so quickly, and we Muslims are still discussing the possibility of polygamy, and it is still illegal. It seems that the heterosexual marriage preferences and privileges are wearing away, and it seems that eventually some Muslim women might be left out of legal and Islamic marriages just because of the present world scenario. Or perhaps if women (perhaps, married) do not see the scenarios enfolding, and would not in any regard lean to share marriage. I do wonder if the matter is sharing in marriage, or the way society looks down on polygamous marriage that makes polygamous an unfavorable marriage and lifestyle for so many of us (it is possibly both).
All in all, I often feel like it is disingenuous when Muslim women say that they cannot share marriage, perhaps, I am speaking gibberish, or perhaps, it is, and we need to evaluate our privileges and understand that Allah's commands are better for all- and really it is not on the women be practice equity but the husband!
❤
Thank you and i love you❤
Seriously why are you trying to be a homewrecker. Stay away from married men. The men should be faithful to their wives. If another woman comes in why should she be provided for when she is taking from the money his wife used to live on.
That’s not the Islamic approach to the issue. Polygyny is allowed and the man entering in this kind of arrangement has to be able to provide for both wives or multiple wives and any children they will have together. We can’t insult sisters because they choose to be in polygyny. They aren’t home wreckers nor are they stealing money. It is allowed in Islam and the Prophet pbuh did it as well. Not everyone has to like it or even participate in it. But to insult people who are considering polygyny is wrong. Not everyone has good intentions but the same could be said regarding monogamous marriages.
@@luce3619 but if a single sister knows that his wife will be upset then that's just unfair. She would feel the same. I understand it's allowed in Islam but men nowadays don't marry for the same reason as the second wife is always younger and "more attractive" in appearance. Women know what they are doing and if they'll upset other women, but can't handle it if happened to them.
@@mimo4856 I think we have to be very careful when we involve emotions in to it. Even when men and women get in to polygyny for the right reasons the second wife is still called a homewrecker and suffers. There was this man who decided to marry a poor widowed woman from his origin country as a second wife. The day after the nikkah she was killed by the first wife's father. Because he was upset that she was the reason why his son in law was getting a second wife. The poor widow had 2 young children and decided to marry the man so they wouldn't have to end up on the streets. She would have lived in the house in their origin country and the first wife was settled in the UK. She wouldn't have lived with the husband for a long time cause he worked in the UK. She was younger and prettier than the first wife. Now because of emotions there 2 young orphans who no longer have any parents. This happened because the first wife and her father were upset, they considered it the wrong reason to get a second wife. As far as I know tge first wife didn't say anything about killing but it still happened. I know this is an extreme case but these things happen and people always blame it on the second wife. Was she wrong for wanting her kids to be safe?
This is the reason why people need to have these conversations before getting married so if they can't deal with it they don't have to. Emotions can occlude people's judgement.
@@mimo4856 but I do agree that the sisters should ask any potential spouse if his first wife is okay with it and it's not going to be detrimental to the wife any children they have. Because the second wife is blamed and not the man for not thinking through it properly.
How is a married wife a homewrecker? You need to open your nearest dictionary asap.
Masha Allah!
As a Muslim man, i really appreciate that you dont dismiss polygamy or talk condescendingly against it but are giving good advice for those who engage in it. I agree with you that wives should be given equal time and should be taken care of financially by the husband. This is in the Koran. Myst be fair and equitable with each wife. They shouldn't feel less. I have one wife now and i am 30. But god willing, it is my dream to have another wife. I think its good for a man. Makes him more masculine, understand women more, be stronger, more pleasure too, more kids and more family. I admire men with 4 wives and 20 children and lots of money. But unfortunately i dont have lots of money and thats whats stopping me now. Once i have enough saved, inshallah i will seek a 2nd wife
Please change the thumbnail. It's really misleading and disrespectful. You don't need to click bait.
Exactly
It is not clickbait, she is speaking about a very urgent issue plaguing the Muslim community.
U need to remove the halal side chick thing its offensive and stop trying to suggest polygamy is a bad thing. Its sunnah and its allowed if a man can treat his wives fairly
There are a lot of career minded Muslim women who have delayed marriage or are just too busy to have a "normal" marriage so they want a part time husband. And since they are into careers (thanks to feminism and whatnot), they tell the man "You don’t have to provide for me financially, I just want to see you 3 times a week". The man gets another wife and the woman gets a part time husband. Ultimately they both "win" by having a nikah and staying away from zina (most importantly).
Those women who say "I’ll never settle for a man who is already married", good luck to you for living a celibate lifestyle and risking falling into major sin in a time where romance and sex is displayed EVERYWHERE.
Is your pride going to get the best of you? If you can live a celibate life, kudos to you, that’s fine, no one can say anything to that. But to stay single and do haram things on the side while you are searching for your perfect man, is not acceptable at all. In that scenario it’s better to marry a decent part time husband and guard your chastity. It’s all about priorities.
What women are looking for is only found in a small pool of men (and Hollywood/Bollywood movies). If every Muslimah wants the handsome/religious/successful/fit/tall/pious muslim man and there are only a few of them around, how are you going to solve the problem with the "I’ll never settle" mindset? Women really shoot themselves in the foot by saying no to polygyny. 🤷🏻♂️
There are tons of single men in the west, tons, more coming every week on boats, really no need for a woman to be polygamous when there are so many men to choose from
I’d only do polygamy if I’m being provided for with an allowance
Like r u crazy, just because we have a career dosent mean we don’t want to see our husband every day, like why not! It’s the best feeling to wake up to the person you love.
Which kind of female wants to see her husband 3/7 days a week, r u saying that having a husband around is a headache?
Just shut up. No career oriented woman want a part time life partner. Are you in your senses? Polygamy is not for today's time period. If men are real pious and follow islam, first send them in Palestine for Jihad and then we see how many go for that Farz thing.
Are there issues between the 1st and second wife or is the issue with the husband?
In this video the issue is between the sister and the married man that she intends to marry.
It depends on the individuals involved.
My aunt was the 2nd wife and made sure her and the 1st wife met before my aunt accepted the proposal from the husband so that she could make sure his 1st wife was aware and that they could get along as co-wives. Alhamdulillah it all went well and the both became friends and even used to gang up on the husband together lol.
Unfortunately, the marriage didn't work out for my aunt because of of issues with the husband and they divorced but her and the 1st wife remained friends.
Im a second wife and my husband block me and my child whenever he is staying with first wife. I work and handle all responsibilities of myself and my child because after my pregnancy he refused responsibilities because he 2 big teenagers sons to bear education cost. With time he stop caring. He does not come home for years. I feel being abandoned by him completely. I required his signature to have my child passport i had to call his office and begging him. He been very rude on phone exploding for how dare i call his office. What choice did i have. Polygamy is very very challenging it demands lots of sabar and taqwa.
Doesn’t sounds like he has the wisdoms to have multiple wives
That is why you shouldn't have been in the second wife place. Now deal with what you choose for yourself. I guess you deserve all this after breaking someone home
@@maryamsarfraz5522 A woman tells how she’s suffers from her selfish husband and you blame her. Always blame the woman. Women are told to obey their husbands. Women are supposed to have perfect judgement in choosing a husband. When he turns out to be selfish and immature it’s her fault it’s still her fault and she should still obey him. What ever faults men have there’s always a way to blame women. No wonder they’re man babies.
😢 I wanna go into a polygamous marriage but can i have an exclusive one-on-one talk with you to guide me. Thank you for this video❤
Why do u want to share ur husband
Very informative. I married a Muslim man but I am not religious. He’s a really good family oriented man. He married a second wife to please his mom. He kept her in his country as it’s not legal in the states. They got divorced because he spent too much time in the state with me and she didn’t have a baby for him & his family.🤷🏻♀️
In what way is he a good man? He abused that other woman used her then discarded her, you will probably be next
@@emma647 she wanted a divorce not him. She got a house, a car and the mahr all that he gave her. He may be controlling in some ways; but he is patient. When he is at your house you will get a lot of attention and affection because he can do some work from home on the laptop. He’s all mine now.
That's the most cringe thing I have heard. I feel for that other wife your husband decided to have sex with and then dump. But mostly I'm glad she's free of him. I cry for women.