I'm a Hot Mess and in Debt!
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- Опубликовано: 7 окт 2024
- I'm a Hot Mess and in Debt!
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So you are the guy that took a gun out of a gift in that middle of a meeting? 🤡🤡🤡
My wedding was $200 my divorce was 20k .. I have no advice🤣
😭😂
My wife and I got married in a registrar office for $700 total. Spending 20k on a flashy marriage when you have over 100k in debt.....well you decide if that’s a smart move or not. Life is not a fairytale.
In south GA my wife and I got married at the courthouse for $75
My wife and I married in 1988 in the backyard at her “over the garage” apartment with close family and friends. The JP cost $50. Hamburgers and hotdogs on the BBQ. The Maid of Honor made the cake for free. After the wedding we spent a few hours relaxing and then went to our homesite and worked on building our house which we did ourselves to keep down debt. Neither of us have regretted those decisions we made wayyyyy back then. We can eat steak now instead of beans and rice and rice and beans. 🙂
This made me smile. What an awesome set of memories! I hope you and your wife enjoy every bite of steak! 😎☺️
I love this story. Thank you for sharing. Call me old fashioned if people want, but I find this story romantic 🥰
That was a smart move!! I’m sure u are very happy with your wife now😊. I’d rather fly to Vegas & pay only like $100!!!😂
They're wrong. Weddings used to be a small function at home before companies started pushing products
Spending 5k on an artificially inflated rock is also part of the “culture”
The village used to cook enough food for ths family and any money was given to the new family for furniture.
In my church growing up the reception was usually a potluck.
Many people are still paying off the wedding when they file for divorce a year and a half later.
Facts!!!
It's because they start married life already buried under a ton of debt with nothing but a party to show for it.
😱😂
Oh gawd 😨
People spend more than a year paying off their wedding
40k wedding = decades of repayments, along with interest
I see beans and rice at the wedding dinner
LOL!
it's not unusual for my culture to serve that at our weddings.
Yummy 😋
They can have rice and beans
Oh yes potato king 😃
Cook the rice that is thrown
Dear Caller, thank you so much for keeping your question short. I also noticed you get more out of Dave when you keep the questions short. When people go on and on, he gets aggravated and mutes the caller
So true! He gets annoyed with the super annoying talkative callers who’s stories are long winded and they don’t get to the point
20k for a wedding nahhhh half the people you don’t even talk too
She's one of the few women who answer a question straight the first time! Not telling a story or skirting the question. Just answers the question! He's a lucky dude.
Not with her having 100k in debt
Lol good luck with $100 grand of debt
@@joyaustin6581 she makes more than twice as much as him. She’s marrying down. He’s marrying up.
@@universe.trippin most married men are usually breadwinners so does that mean most men marry down ?
@@abdirahmanali4235 Men control the vast majority of resources in the world through war and physical force. So if a man is not providing then he is not a man. Any man who depends on a woman for provisions is pathetic since women do not control the world's resources with physical force/military/war, etc.
I married my husband for under $2k. I bought my unconventional wedding dress on Amazon, made my own flower arrangements and food. Our wedding rings were under $200. We had a small group of family and friends for the event. The most expensive part was travel expenses and paying/tipping our guitar player (she was 16 and her first gig). It was an amazing intimate wedding. 💒 💖
Good on you all for that guitar player, that's unique!
I'll never understand paying thousands of dollars for a dress you wear one time.
I bet you were a lot less stressed too, good for you.
The best kind of wedding!!
This is so cute! I love small weddings like this! It’s so much more special
We spent less than $7k (all cash only) on the wedding. Invited only family members and really close friends, found an awesome church with a beautiful venue (which is cheaper than having ceremony and reception at separate locations). And it turned out just the way we pictured it! When you pay cash, you are more intentional and find ways to save money.
We eloped for less than $2000 dollars. We found an all inclusive place that offered an elopement package. I was not going into debt or taking out loans for a single day.
This elopement packages are the best of both worlds! 18 people or less means your most closest friends or family get a really fancy good time❤
Wow, weddings are a real racket. Can't you just sign a paper at the court house?
Yep. Cost us $75
Love the guest host for this answer and how they bounce off each other is awesome!
We did the courthouse and 10 years later Turks and Caicos when we were a little bit smarter financially. At least they are talking about money.
Blessss, that's excellent!
I spent $3,500 on our wedding, and I loved it. You're marrying for love, not the party.
For documentation
Agreed, our wedding was a $500 backyard wedding lol
We spent about that too.
@@anthonyparker3713 you could of saved a bunch if you did the wedding at a McDonalds.
Love this!
Our wedding was $7k in a rainforest very far away from civilization, even got pictures on a beach nearby, how do Americans manage to spend so much on weddings?
Because they’re already living together before marriage so the wedding has to be big to make them feel good about their bad decision to live together before marriage
@@cmoore806 lol wasn't expecting that answer.
There are a lot of cultures that actually spend more money on weddings than Americans. Indians and Arabs for example. Do you live under a rock?
@@mirabella2154 Is not your average indian or arab that spend more than amaericans
@@MR3DDev No idea what you were trying to say, but you need education and cultural awareness.
Just crawl out of your cave from time to time..
Honestly I will just go to justice of the peace.or have a small wedding 👰 on a backyard or somewhere free of charge.
Facts, I agree....love is love no matter how much the wedding cost.
Agreed
I spent about $300 on my wedding. I'm now at the point in my life that I can spend 40k. Honestly I'd rather have my small wedding.
@@emc84 facts, I read somewhere that because most people accumulate debt for a wedding. The higher cost of the wedding had a higher rate of divorce.
This exactly what I was coming to write. I rather do a simple wedding. Pay off debt and celebrate BIG when we are done with it all.
$20K is a lot of money for a wedding, esp when you're $105K in debt. Go to the courthouse and have a nice reception.
Ten years ago my parents spent under $2000 for my wedding. It helped that I was able to fit myself into my husband’s grandmother’s wedding dress, so no money spent on a dress or alterations, and our venue was free. It was a small ceremony with only family, most of my decorations were thrift store items and silk flowers, and a coworker did my cake. It was beautiful, and so stressless that I remember every detail.
At least they're having these conversations before getting married
Smaller low cost weddings are always the best to go to as a guest. The dearer the wedding doesn't mean you live each other more.
I got engaged at 21. Now at 24- thinking about a wedding, especially a fancy one grows less and less on me as I get older. I’d rather put extra money towards investments 😤
It's a waste of money. All that money for a 1 day party and people you invited will complain anyway. Seems like a waste of money to me.
@@JJs_playground We spent 1 M php.
A wedding is a celebration for the rest of the family. A honeymoon is for the couple. I dunno but I rather have a better honeymoon lol
My husband and I had a small wedding at a church with 50 people and then had everyone go to a really nice unique restaurant for the “reception”. The food was amazing, the cake was gorgeous, and we actually got to talk with everyone and see everyone. We didn’t have to worry about a DJ and we didn’t have dancing. We had a family friend do pictures and paid them better then they usually get paid. There was music on during dinner but it was basically the regular restaurants music which was beautiful anyways. We splurged more on the honeymoon. If a big wedding isn’t sounding great then don’t do it. We originally had a guest list of 200 people, some that we felt obligated to invite. When you have 50 people you are only having your inner circle people that really do want to be there and it’s more about the couple.
Why aren't you married already?
i lost my job with Qatar Airways in 2018 went into debt started investing 2019 and paid off all of it via profits off investing before pandemic. Investing is a great choice I made.
@Justine Disreli I have made quite a stride investing on my own but I am aware of the benefits of consulting with a professional but haven't found one that knows what he is doing. Do you know any?
@Justine Disreli oh wow😮… This is incredible. I listen to her podcasts sometimes and I have learnt lots of strategies thereso, never knew she offered these services. how does she work?
@Justine Disreli
I just looked up this person out of curiosity, surprisingly she seems really proficient, I thought this was just some overrated BS, I appreciate this.
@Justine Disreli I am aware of the benefits of consulting with a professional but haven't found one that knows what he is doing. how much did you start out with?
@Justine Disreli
thanks for sharing, I googled the lady you mentioned, and after going through her credentials, I can tell she's a pro, I'll be writing her an email shortly.
It makes a huge money saving difference when your pastor let's you use the church building for a wedding ceremony and after party as long as you don't use alcohol, loud music and be done when sun goes down and return him a clean building.
My wedding was $10k and I have no regrets! People go crazy for ONE day. It’s shocking!
As if 10k is not a lot of money... 🤣🤦
Went to the court house, 50 bucks later I was married. 🤔
Sorry to hear
@@topcheese2889 lol
You can find coupons to get married in Vegas for $15 then do your honeymoon in a roach motel for $20/night.
Exactly !
Congrats!
So many calls regarding student loan debt
Next pay day I will be debt free with student loans paid off completely
@@BadBrad119 you should do a happy dance and send a video to Dave Ramsey!
I'm gonna rent a lakeside airbnb and have folding chairs, good enough. Most expensive thing will be our tuxes.
That is such a good idea! 😮😲
I'm getting married next year, but wasn't going to do a reception because it's not in the budget.
I'm going to do some research on this.
I appreciate so, so much your comment. Thank you! 🙏♥️
@@coffeesnob3778 omg that is literally the best idea I ever heard. Venue = 10k min. Airbnb = $200/night. Get it!!
I checked the Airbnb option, apparently, it's not an option.
Every single place has a "no parties allowed" clause. It's probably the area.
@@coffeesnob3778 bummer
I rented the legion. We decorated. We catered a buffet sandwich cheese salad etc. Minister came there for ceremony. Had 100 guests. Wore mother in laws dress. Spent 2000. Been married 30+ years.
Yeah, it’s one day. Thrift stores have wedding dresses, local grocery stores do beautiful wedding cakes and diamonds are over rated.
You raise a really good point on the thrift store there
No lies deteched, I've seen gorgeous beaded long wedding gowns for $50 at thrift stores. Vintage dress shops are another great option for a really special and nontraditional dress.
If you go to the thrift store donation boxes sometimes people just dump bags of clothes near it and you can have free clothes for all the people in the wedding for free. Just watch out for lice and ticks.
@@allisonacton7268 I wouldn’t advocate theft.
Amen
People carrying lots of debt shouldn't be spending a ton on a wedding. Have the reception in someone's back yard. Rent the dress. Getting hitched in a church isn't hugely expensive. My doctor neighbor hosted his daughter's wedding and reception on his property in a rented tent during a mild weather time of year.
Dave was really nice with her but I don’t agree with his recommendation. 100k in debt and making just about that much with her partner; follow everyone’s recommendation on these comments by going to court house or doing something small. I’d recommend staying below 5k. Tackle that debt fast, esp student loans.
Dress shopping with mom helped reconnect us ( we had too much geographic distance for too long)
Talking about the ring let the groom realize that my views on the environment outweighed what the magazines sold.
My brother finally took some time off.
I practiced a waltz with my dad.
My best friend is the officiant ( loves public speaking but doesn’t get to do it as a job)
The women from both sides met at my bridal shower and got the * you’re a stranger* feelings over with.
It’s not about a one day party. It’s about building a longer table.
It’s a one day party. You couldn’t found a million reasons to do all of those things. Didn’t need a wedding. But you can do whatever makes you happy. My wife and I paid $75 for a courthouse wedding. Family came to see us, we spent $500 on a cabin in the woods for the honeymoon. Shortly after we were able to buy a house with $20k down instead of spending it on a one day party. For us, I’m happy we didn’t have a big expensive wedding
@@lesterparker1594 😂You over paid. My courthouse wedding was $45. However you are right about happiness. We spent about $700 for the honeymoon (Niagara Falls and Toronto). Sending love from Detroit.
@@aprilracine haha nice. We went to Helen GA and it was awesome. Great area if you’re not into big cities. Quiet cabin out in the woods and some great walking trails.
We spent a few grand on our wedding. $400 for a dress, a few hundred dollars on rings, reception at the in-laws, dance at a rental hall, and a little trip with the cash we got for gifts. We're hitting 39 wonderful years in August.
Nice! Adjusted for inflation that dress would cost $1200 now, but point well taken.
Um, she makes $70K and he makes $30K?? Girl ... I'll be polite and say be careful going into this marriage!
She's also got a 6 figure debt, so it's a pretty big risk for him too.
She said SHE was a hot mess, not him. He may have no debt or be in school.
BF now husband income vs mine over the yrs: 15k-37k ; 58k-38k ; 100k+/12k as I stay at home now w/ side hustle
WHY? 🧐
They should just get married and not have a "wedding".
Ramsey must be getting soft in old age...
The old Dave Ramsey would've said " you can't have a wedding, you're in debt!!"
Agreed, I'm surprised what he told her.
Show me the video he said that in. Weddings are one of the few exceptions.
@@jordanneedscoffee are you stupid? Im not going to go through his libary of videos to prove you wrong.
He was realistic with her because he could tell she was honest and up front about it. Most others call in asking questions they already have answered in their own mind.
No, he never said that. He does say to be wise.
All you need for a good wedding is a bride, a groom, the minister, a couple witnesses, and plenty of potato salad.
Just go to city hall and be done with it. Put some of the money into a decent honeymoon.
It is important to have a special wedding day. It isn't like buying a car or something.
@@jmcast3195 Understandable. Every situation is different.
@@jmcast3195 logic over emotions
@@Dreambig62 are you married?
@@jmcast3195 is it really?
Why do you need to spend thousands to show you are willing to be with someone for the rest of your life
First step is realizing it’s a mess and not acceptable in your life.
Yes
You can have a respectable wedding for around 5k.
She sounded offended when Dave told her she WASN’T crazy...
No mention of the major salary difference between these two. Personally she should hold off the wedding, pay off her debt quickly, then get married. Also discuss his career path.
Bingo. The skipped around it, but her fiancee doesn't make enough to be getting married in the first place let alone help her with a wedding.
I don't understand if you are 105k in debt then you have no money for a wedding. Isn't this how she got in to debt ie student loans by spending money you do not have. what am I missing?
How important weddings are to life. It's called an exception to the rule
As long as they don’t go more into debt to pay for this wedding..
Being in debt does not stop life from happening. Things like weddings or having a baby should not be put off because of debt, but they should be handled responsibly so you do not go into more debt.
The part about not getting enough likes and comments on social media.
Compared to a divorce, the cost of a wedding is pocket change.
Half the annual income on a wedding... what a total waste of money. Unreal
What is John talking about at the end lol? She makes 70k and he only makes 30k. I’ll take her finances with some debt over his salary.
For all we know he's still in college, they're young
Ya. I wonder how much debt he's bringing in, and the cost of the engagement ring?
@@jordanneedscoffee didn't seem like it. Probably would have mentioned it, also working close to minimum wage in college and making 30k a year would be a stretch unless it's a real joke major or unless he's part time in college I guess.
I don’t think any woman making twice as much as their partner is going to feel any inequity.
Facts. I'm looking skeptically at the man, to be honest
Eventually, she may feel some resentment.
Bingo. They didn't want to say it, but her fiancee doesn't make enough to help her pay for a wedding, let alone actually br married. He doesn't make enough to be married and eventually have a family. It will be a struggle the whole way especially with all of this debt. Life comes at you fast.
Get married at the court house & have a special dinner with your closest family. ✅
Hot mess must be normal. Every woman I date has 100k in debt or more
They want to marry you so you get caught in the repayment...
This is why women’s past matters. Bad decisions like the wrong degree or the wrong child’s father creates a lot of debt years later.
Crazy, my spouse and I both has zero debt when we married, but that was many years ago. Today, too many people taking on way too much student loan debt.
@@thelogicaldanger Im happy for you honestly. Rare story these days.
It’s your job as a man to pay off women’s debt, pay to support her kids and save for her retirement while she’s a stay at home mom.
My *now* husband and I completely cash flowed our wedding and it was the best decision! $12000 and we received SO many compliments from our guests. You can do it too, Katarina!
A more expensive wedding does not a more memorable, enjoyable time make. In fact it's often the opposite.
We went to the courthouse then had a small reception, then bought a new home with that money and that was 17 years ago. Best decision ever. To each is own.
A huge dent in the wedding expenses will be paid off by the monetary gifts they receive.
Court house and put a down payment for a house.
Smart 🤓
Don’t have a “wedding.” Just sign the papers.
If you're a religious libertarian you have the wedding and don't sign the papers
Judge
If you're truly wanting to marry someone and be with them for the rest of your life, what's a few more years waiting to get married? Why not finish the debt off then get married?
Pressure from her, friends, family. Been there...
Had a great Las Vegas wedding 18 years ago $1500 and still married 😮
Weddings are overrated.
100k in debt? Should have 50 dollar wedding
What if you spend $0 on a wedding. I invited 20 people and asked them to bring some food to share. Free wedding. My friend paid the $50 for the ordained minister. Even if I paid for everything it would have been a few hundred dollars for the food and minister.
Thats the option these broke People should do
That is actually quite pathetic.
I had a BEAUTIFUL wedding for under 4k ....js. Ppl act nutz
If you're a hot mess, you should postpone your wedding until you're cool. 😎
The marriage is way more important than a "wedding" . . .
And working together in partnership to erase that debt will put that marriage on a very good footing.
If possible.
Go to the courthouse and get married.
If not, have a JP marry them at someone's home. Small and simple
It is a good thing they are being responsible about this before they get married some of us will never get to the point where we will have this conversation
We spent 7k cash total dress,tux,rings, jewelry, venue, decorations, we spent no money on food because we had a potluck brunch.
Our wedding cost 5k. Just immediate family & fine dining in SF. Free venue: SF golden gate park underneath redwoods. Photographer was 250. Then an amazing honeymoon in Cabo. Don’t get pressured to spend money on a wedding.
Don’t waste your money, just do it all yourself
10k. You're good to go
Go to the courthouse for $50
We spent less than $7000 on our wedding. No honeymoon at the time. A little help from family and it was much appreciated. I am wishing we did something cheaper and smaller and went on a little honeymoon together instead. Next year is our 10 year anniversary and we still haven’t gotten around to the honeymoon lol.
The fella doesn't earn enough by comparison. That will become a problem. Women enter relationships with men who are across and up social status, very rarely do they settle for a guy who's further down the pay scale than themselves. I think it's a potentially doomed relationship anyway to be fair.
In successfull longterm mariages the woman overwhelmingly marries up. Especially if she's decent looking.
Amen brother
The dude needs a career goal and a second job.
If he makes 30k a year but has no debt and doesn’t use debt it’s better than making 70k a year and having a debt problem..
@@scapegoat413 in the long run i would argue otherwise. I feel that he is stuck in that 30k job and has a job rather than a career whereas she is much more likely to see advancement
Who has the most debt? Also they don’t need a wedding while they’re in debt. Go to courthouse
28K....What a waste...Las Vegas drive thru will due..
Wow she’s making 70K a year and about to marry a man making 30K? He basically makes minimum wage... I’m hoping he’s planning to make more.
But he doesn’t have any debt and she does.. making 30k a year isn’t awful if you stay out of debt. If you make 70k a year but have 100k in debt.... then you’re in trouble
@@scapegoat413 Making 30K still sucks. Debt is the biggest factor but not the only factor. Means your money will always be tight.
Court house wedding and a cookout
Who in their right mind would get married now a days.
I don't know ANYONE happily married.
I know plenty of people who are happily divorced. 😂😂
@@zolozek3327 name something else with a 65% failure rate that is still legal?!
How about a few hundred bucks? Geez people go crazy on these weddings.
Katarina, check Rachel Cruz chanel, she has some great ideas about wedding planning/budget. There was an episode(s) on the wedding subject.
Go to the courthouse get married and use the money for an awesome honeymoon.
Traditionally people didn’t spend lots on a wedding because they couldn’t. Don’t waste your money and keep it low key.
City Hall, that’s how you save money on a wedding
How much are people spending?!? I think we maxed out at $3500...
I love Dave Ramsey but this is extremely hypocritical of him to say, is it not??? If it were any other toy purchase where they already had 100 grande in debt he would say NOOOO!!!! A wedding is a big party basically. So in other words a “toy” purchase. I’m kinda stunned that he’s approving this decision and not just telling her to go get married on paper and be done with it 🤔🤷🏼♂️
According to google apparently average US debt is $90k
She makes $70k he makes $30k, that marriage is doomed she should do his research.
Lol
Perhaps he has zero debt though.
Yeah low earning men don’t deserve love
Not necessarily.
Lol. Maybe he has a plan.
It doesn’t matter how you get married. Don’t let society / family / history tell you otherwise.
Review again and again your guest list.
Wear a pretty dress, do a first look 👀
Invest in a photographer
Review guest list again
Squeeze in a honey moon
I had a beautiful wedding. 75 people total but if I could go back I would reduce the guest list. Like Dave said, reception is where you spend most of your money.
Rice and beans and jelly beans at the weeding reception is good idea and forger the rest you are broke
Well... the ideal would be to do it once, let’s hope it goes that way and starts to more and mor
Did you notice that this was the couple themselves planning for how to pay for the wedding and not the parents? Pay cash, make it memorable and not cheap, they have an excellent income.
Idk if the income is excellent but their debt certainly isn’t.
They are independent adults, apart from parents. The couple should pay for their own wedding, unless the parents offered to pay for it.
5000$ you can have a good wedding my god 28000$ for a wedding wow
My wedding was beautiful and cost $3500.00 for everything
I would be genuinely upset if someone I cared about spent $20k on a stupid wedding instead of paying debt
Why in the world would you spend that much on a wedding? Especially being that much in debt?
We spent $75 at a wedding chapel and will be celebrating 18 years this month 🤗
Just family and close friends...