I'm so glad Tamera is on the show. She is the only one I can relate too. If she wasn't on there, I would've felt pressured into losing my virginity too quickly because of the other girls' beliefs.
omg !!! ikr !! they did right putting her on the panel...like she represents a voice for younger girls that otherwise would not have been heard had she not been there.. i love her man!..
I think the only reason she said Christians is b/c she is a Christian she is not Jewish or Muslim or whatever so she can't speak for the culture they live only on what she herself has lived and knows as a Christian woman.
Also it isnt just religion based people as well, there are also just "regular, neutral" individuals out there with no strong ties to religion that just simply want to preserve themselves. Some people just arent pressed to have sex. The entire ordeal just isnt that deep to them. Sex is natural for human beings but I feel as though it has been taken and put on a pedestal it wasnt meant to be put on.
TAMERA, what will we do when you're on your maternity leave! you're the most sane and logical person on that table! THE VOICE OF REASON! everyone relates to you! sigh.
the Ghetto black girls will take over and it'll become yet another show on television portraying black women as loud(loni) and ghetto/horribly spoken(Tamar). When Tamera is on Maternity leave, the other two will single-handedly set black women back at least a year or two. Just saying.
there are so many men who are pretending to have all this sex and they are NOT. They are virgins too . She is dodging bullets, keep your legs closed and worry about that homework! So glad Tamera is on the show because the other girls had nothing concrete to say, poor Adrienne was stumbling for words LOL!
I have respect for every woman. I don't care if they're sleeping around with anyone or they're a virgin. All women deserve respect for making decisions for their body.
I have respect for every man. I don't care if they're sleeping around with anyone or they're a virgin. All men deserve respect for making decisions for their body. lmao
I love all the ladies perspectives here. I think Tamera, Loni, and Jeannie gave good advice as well. Sometimes the ladies of the Real annoy me, but I love all of them the same. Great segment!
Well hey, if you're a person who wants to save yourself for marriage, and the guy doesn't share those same values, he's not for you. And if you're a guy, and the girl doesn't share your same values, she's not for you. And so goes the opposite. Besides, why does sex matter so much? When one gets old, and can't "get it up" anymore, what else will they have to sustain the relationship? There are plenty of people in relationships who have nothing in common, except for sex. In my opinion, intimacy is much deeper than the physical. Can I learn from you? Are you funny? Are you smart? Are you encouraging? Can we chill and act a fool around each other? If you're not interested in getting to know me for who I am, why in the world should I grace you with the treasure of my body? If you respect me, you'll respect my decision(whatever that may be) and not try to sway me from it. I applaud her, and I hope she doesn't allow herself to be pressured. She's a beautiful young woman, and I hope she finds a guy worthy of her "treasure". I thought of something when Tamera said she thought she could change those guys to remain abstinent like her. I'm not so sure anyone can change anyone. Now influence? Most definitely. There are plenty of men and women who think they can "influence" someone away from being abstinent. They may seemingly accept your decision at first, but slowly they'll test your boundaries. And you have to make sure your boundaries are clear. To them, but especially to yourself. Being abstinent isn't easy, but I stand among those who've made that decision. I think it's a beautiful thing! And I firmly believe that "all good things come to those who wait. 😊
C Fas Praise God. I'm glad I was able to encourage you. Trust me, I know the struggle is plenty real out here, lol. But, it's so worth it to wait. Thank you. I pray the same for you! 😊
If a dude got up and left after I broke the news to him I would call him to thank for not wasting my time and showing me his true colors that soon!! He would be the only one looking stupid behaving like that.
This reminds me of when a girl would confess that she had an STD, thank you for telling me, this isn't going to work. There's no reason to send a message back with an attitude, you should probably search within the ranks of the born again or something like that but dropping that on a college student thats different valued than yourself is just asking for a certain response.
Niya Winchester I know before I saw this video I felt like the only one because all of my peers looked down on me for being a virgin and being celibate
Celibacy and virginity isn’t the same thing though.... Being s virgin is when you’ve never had sex , while celibacy is when you’ve had sex ,but you’re not having sex at the moment.
That's why I love Tamera. She is the main one who keeps it REAL without being extra or worried about "stepping on anyone's toes". Been rocking with her since Sister-Sister.
My entire RUclips channel is centered around my struggles as a 24 year old woman trying to date as virgin who is waiting for marriage so this video is sooooo right on time ! It definitely gets depressing but have my channel has allowed me to connect with other people who feel the same . Keep waiting , it's worth it
+Nataja Zanellé I'm 23 and I'm still a virgin as well. I don't like the pressure they put on girls especially to have sex. They tell you not to, then laugh at you for being a virgin. It's crazy.
+Nesha Britwood yeah it's a lot harder to than I ever thought it would be . It's like you're ridiculed if you do and ridiculed if you don't . I say keep waiting you know what's best for you !
I know what you mean girls, I'm 24 and waiting, but I can tell you that where I find that is not a burden but a blessing is when I go to my local religion-oriented "student club", for the lack of a better term, that is working by my church (there are over 60 in my city alone, each big church has one). I don't know what places of that kind you have in your countries (I live in Poland), but I'm sure there are these associations or groups where college or university students meet on a eg. weekly basis and either listen to some religious speeches and presentations on whatever subject and then socialise like we do or do Bible studies, or discussions etc. Maybe there are clubs like that on campuses? This is the place where you'll find like-minded people and guys who will not only respect, but actually value your virginity and very often be virgins themselves. This is also a good place to find a solid, reliable boyfriend with high morale you know you can always trust - as an added bonus :) Another point I would like to make is to remember you are MUCH more than that; you are people who have a lot going on in your lives, you have many activities, you meet many people, you have numerous achievements and some challenges ahead - this is what you've got to focus your mind on, not on something that irrelevant in everyday lives as your PERSONAL choice of abstaining from sex. Even more so, where I live it's a very delicate subject and you'd only talk about it with your close, trusted friends who would not judge you (and if they do, you know you gotta change them ;P). My advice would be - try if this works for you too, just tell people this is a personal question / subject when it comes up in a conversation and don't dwell into it if you don't feel like it. However, always be sure in your choice because at the end of the day these people come and go and you yourselves are going to live your lives and deal with the consequences of your own actions. Good luck!
I'm a guy at 25 and a virgin. I understand the flip side on the subject because females are the same way. It was super hard in College because a lot of time due to culture of my campus, I was ridiculed for waiting but I wanted more than a casual one night stand or side chick. I wanted a relationship that was serious. Looking for another virgin in College never going happen...focus on academics and get out.
+sailorkeyblader you don't have to feel like there are no virgin women in college, hey i'm 23 and a virgin too. I don't feel the need to conform. I'll do what I like when it feels right :) it's very refreshing to find another man that's a virgin at a close age !
Being a virgin doesn't make you "wife material". Being a kind, loving and decent person does. All of this emphasis being placed on female virginity is so ridiculous. Any guy who would try to make you feel like you're less than "wife material" because you've had multiple sex partners is the kind of guy you should steer clear of. His priorities are all messed up. Being a virgin isn't what's going to make your marriage strong or healthy. You are more than your vagina. Your worth isn't tied to your sexuality. A real man should be more concerned about what's in your heart than anything else.
You have a really good point. Virgins are not all squeaky clean angels... There is more to a persons character than the number of sexual partners they have had. Also, people have different views on what is considered "sex." That virgin could be doing everything but penetration and still be calling herself a "virgin."
Lami Akin thank you! I hate how the emphasis is on the woman to be sexually "pure" and the men are are allowed to have multiple sex partners and still be considered "husband material" if they have a good job and a good character. Such double standards!
***** I agree with your point on women chastising promiscuous men and leveling the plane somewhat. I don't agree with men (or women) who take having several sex partners as badges just so they can be applauded. People like that are just plain pathetic. However, i don't find any fault in a person who has had sex with several people because of the pleasure of sex or because they've been in several intimate relationships.
No man wants to be with a woman who has slept around an women should be the same way about a man sometimes your past can keep you from better things an being a thot isn't the way to go...js
I'm 23 and a virgin. When I dated in college, I would wait to see if the relationship was going anywhere before disclosing that information. With a few guys, I could tell from our first dates that all they wanted was sex and I would just stop talking to them because clearly they weren't going to get what they wanted. Twice I dated guys that I actually had a connection with in college and told them that I was a virgin and I wanted to wait til marriage to have sex. One thought I was lying and tried to pressure me into having sex with him anyway. Needless to say, I stopped talking to him. The other was very understanding and he was also celibate which made the situation better. So while I'm not ashamed to say I'm a virgin, it's also not the FIRST thing I say to a guy on our first date.
lachicabonita I completely agree with your approach! I'm in that position now and I find that it really is no ones business whether you're a virgin or not until you get to know them a bit better. I'm not saying to lead them on or wait until feelings are caught, but having it be one of the first things you say on a date is a bit overwhelming and can cut short connections which could be made with people who once they got to know you, may have been willing to wait. Stay strong girl!
I'm 21, never been kissed, and a virgin....I've always felt so comfortable and looked up to Tamera...life and relationships aren't all about sex! And it doesn't make you weak or uncool because you haven't had those experiences! In many ways, it makes you classier, more dignified, and stronger. Thank you Tamera 😘😍
I'm a virgin and I'm proud to be it. These days media put glamour on people who sleeps around with multiple people. But in real life, that's nasty. I like Tamera for this
+Pretty Girl I say I agree with you. As if, it is really something good. Oh my, but i am kind of guilty of the sex thing because I am doing it more often. Well, i am a guy. A gay guy to be specific. Still, I love seeing these women taking about sex and preserving virginity especially to women. I just believe that virginity of a woman is a gift that she can be proud of to a guy that she is going to marry. It shows a sense of self worth/self value to one self. Oh my goood. I dont believe that I am commenting on this. I already did though.
I'm 25 and a virgin and I'm waiting for the right guy and I decided to wait until marriage. At first I used to be ashamed and embarrassed about being a virgin at my age, but I realized that there is nothing to be ashamed about being a virgin at my age. Tamera and Loni are right because guys don't want women who sleeps with everything and everyone. Guys prefer a women who doesn't have that many sexual partners and they do not want a woman who's very promiscuous. Tamera and Loni gave great advice and I love the message they gave this girl on the show.
I can relate. I'm 31 and a virgin and I'm waiting until marriage. I'm proud and grateful to God that I've lasted this long because the temptation is RREEEAALL. But marriage is more real.
Queenceba29 I'm 34 and a virgin and I'm waiting until marriage. It doesn't bother me anymore when people talk about losing their virginity or being promiscuous because my trust is in Jesus who loves me and died for me so I don't have anything to prove to anyone. The temptation is REAL though but I educate myself about sex so if people decide to talk about it I'm not awkward or naive around them. It's refreshing to see I'm not the only virgin in my thirties...
Avionne Parris Yes Avionne! It is a blessing to hear from a fellow peer who is saving herself for marriage. We are rare these days, but I truly believe that it is worth the wait and my husband will reap all of the pinned up 'benefits'.. lol.
I don't understand why people are calling Tamar and Adrienne rude? They were speaking on the male, college student perspective. I'm in college and they were spot on. A guy that doesn't share your relationship view IS gonna be like *peace out* regardless if it hurts. I felt like this was a really good table talk.
Because apparently everyone that watches the real (according to these comment sections) is a Christian virgin that had never made a mistake in their life and like to think Tamera is the second coming of Jesus. So if it even seems like someone is giving a different (and maybe more realistic) perspective, they throw stones SMH
King I agree. They will defend Tamera like she isn't judgmental herself. It was a simple table talk and everyone has their opinions. Why the hell does Tamar, Loni, and Adrienne constantly fall under criticism for not agreeing with Tamera?
KING090589 I would love to give you the Thumbs of youtube!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 100000000000000000 times........you said it the best bruh! These people don't understand reality, I mean I'm here for Jesus and his teachings, and I respect a virgin a hundred percent, however you have to highlight what is reality and what is out there and that's what Adrienne and Tamar were doing in this segment....I really like you a lot for this comment...Nothing is wrong about knowing what's actually happening and most of these commenters behave like that. Catch them in their real lives, they are worst than they make others to be
+Bella Soul talking , walking, popping lips and fingers like a "stank a dank" as you put it have absolutely nothing to do with values though. You can applaud Tamera wihtout putting others down.
I'm 24 & a virgin & I come across the same problem in dating. Most guys just cut me off soon as I tell them I'm a virgin. Others will still date me & see if they can try to convince me. Once they realize that I'm not going to give in, they give up. It's weird though cause so many guys tell me that I'm wife material. Being a virgin at my age is so rare because now we're in a time where premarital sex is a norm. It makes dating life a struggle. But if I'm supposed to have a husband I'm sure God is getting him ready for me :)
Alanna Miller I love you and proud of your being a virgin, never allow anyone to write you off coz you are a virgin.You are on the right side of the truth of the Bible.On Dating and marriage-All things work together for good to those who are in Christ Jesus and have been called according to His purpose.
It's really encouraging seeing so many comments about men and women who are waiting for that special someone. Let's me know i'm not alone. 21 year old virgin and I'm proud of it.
These women give me LIFE. Tamara is SOOOO REFRESHING in a world where they idolize women like Kim K and Amber rose. It's fine not to be a sexually active bottom line. It's OK to be different.
I've made a decision to wait until marriage and I'm only 17. it's hard because I know college is coming and with that comes a lot more responsibility and me having to really put my foot down by myself. in highschool it was easier because I could make excuses like "my mom won't let me", but in college I'm going to be in charge of my own life and sexuality. thanks for these inspiring words guys! ❤
I'm a virgin and in high school and now a days that is an accomplishment because girls my age are always opening there legs for someone or popping out babies like it's going out of style so I have huge respect for people who r virgins and respect people who r not virgins but are not hoeing around.
I can 100% relate to this segment and the issue raised. I'm 20, turning 21 years old in May, and completely agree with this young lady. But like the hosts said, focusing on something else (e.g. study's and work) will prevent a lot of problems from happening!! Thank you to The Real for being so REAL... and also relatable to many of us women all around the world! LOVE from the UK, England
If you want to be sexually liberated no one is bashing you for it. But it does get irritating when women who believe in sexual freedom & no commitment start to bash other women who just aren't ready to have sex. idk how to not sound condescending when I say "sleep around"; I'm not tryna sound rude but ppl might take it that way. sleeping around...that's what it is. If someone wants to live that way, then that's their life & they can do that. I just personally cannot do it
True; im just saying ppl get so offended whenever i say sleeping around. I dont believe in sleeping around. But ppl are always saying "its my body i can do what i want" so I try to sound nicer about it lol
The K. Chronicles Yes, my roommate sleeps around a lot. I go to college and that's pretty much what every guy wants. That is not something I can do either. I know I want to wait for the right person.
Same can be said vice-versa. Those who are "holding it out" do bash the ones who are already in the game. You'd think it's a competition of sorts as to who is better (especially women, as Tamera suggested, who's more "wife material"), more respectable, etc. Such semantics don't help progress in any way. It collectively hinders us from accepting that differences are there and that they are freakin' okay! If you're a virgin - cool. If you are sexually liberated - cool. None is better than the other.
paprika h THANK YOU! You said it perfectly. I’m not a virgin and I’m 23 I’m having fun dating around but for some reason I’m considered not wifey material because I lost my virginity. I don’t shake those that wait but people that didn’t like myself shouldn’t be shamed either.
I like that they didn't try to shame her for being a virgin at 21. The reality is that you are the company u keep and sooner or later you'll gravitate towards someone with similar values and interests so don't worry about it everything happens when it's supposed to....and that goes for everyone.
I congratulate all of you for waiting. 27 and still a virgin because I chose to wait for love. There's no pressure to lose it for you are in control. Any guy that can't understand that simply isn't the one. Be encouraged!
just turned 30 still a Virgin. I made it this far with God. it's not bad. noone can force us to sleep around .loosing ur virginity won't make you any richer or better.
Thanks for posting this video. I'm in my 30s and also still a virgin. The best part of waiting, is knowing there's no rush and that you will find the right time and person to be intimate with when the time is right.
Reality is most 21 yo men are nt respectful enough to appreciate a woman who doesnt want to have sex. Tamar and Tamera are not disagreeing. I understand that Tamera would have appreciated a mature man to respect her and not be rude but Tamar is absolutely right that in most situations men are just not that mature. Its the reality. If nt the case then this young lady would not have a problem finding a mature mate.Tamera is right men dnt want a woman who sleeps with everyone but they do still expect u to sleep with them. Tamar and adrienne are being very realistic in saying that a lot of men that young do not respect the idea of no sex before marriage. Just yesterday they were talking about 12 and 13 year olds sending naked pics. Being sexual is starting way sooner and guys and girls have endless opportunities to have sex and by 21 are very experienced. Virgin men are out there but like loni said they dnt advertise the fact. This was a very healthy convo that had many great points but this young lady shouldnt be down on herself. Life will bring her plenty of opportunities to have a man that respects her wishes.
I agree... Tamara has a point but so does tamar and Adrienne....it would nice to say yea and girl it's easy to find that but reality of it is that it's not always the case....yes Tamara found somebody who loved her but Adam wasn't a virgin when they got together...so it's easier to find someone who respects her decision...everybody has their own views
Marquetta Austin How do you know Adam wasn't a virgin when they got together. From what I've heard Tamera say on the show he wasn't with anyone or she chooses to believe he wasn't with anyone.
Nalle Luvbey Referring back to the girl chat they had about knowing how many partners their spouses have. Tamera was asked if she knew how many Adam had before and she openly admitted that she did not know how many nor did she care to know how many because they are together now and thats all that matters
She should wait for a respectable man to share herself with. Who knows the man she might be with may not be a virgin but if he respects her enough they'll be on the same page. She should focus on bettering herself and character and the right man will appear to her.
Maia Tisdon I don't think she only wants a virgin, she just said it would be easier. I got the impression that she was okay with a guy that wasn't a virgin as long as he was willing wait with her.
I like that (for the most part ) they didn't try to shame her for being a virgin at 21. The reality is that you are the company u keep and sooner or later you'll gravitate towards someone with similar values and interests. Plus, everything happenes when it is meant to, so don't worry about it....and that goes for everyone.
Damn Loni let Jeanne frickin talk😒 every time J open her mouth there goes Loni's hand and "but what we're trying to say" or "what I'm saying is..." Like just let her express her opinion!
Yeah, like she's Jeannie's mother or something. She even did it to Jeannie when Mama Mai first visited and Jeannie was trying to explain the definition of Tiger Mom. Da Fuq is up with Loni?
i agree, often time Jeannie isnt granted the chance to fully express her thoughts and feelings about topics and i personally would love to hear her view on some things in full thought without being interrupted. lol
Awwww! I *LOVE* Tamera so much. I have to be honest, when the show first started I only checked for Tamar to be over the top and the rest were irrelevant to me. Between Adrienne wanting to be accepted and Tamera being too weak and quiet, I felt as if the show wouldn't make it. As the show progresses, I now see these women are powerful, strong, beautiful, and they truly do capture the every day spam. The Real is THE* ultimate talk show. I love this show so much.
I only made an effort for Tamar as well...Then now i sort of kinda make an effort for everyone else...I'm not really a talk show person but when i heard Tamar was going to be on the Real ,i had to make sure i keep up with and break people i know into watch it
I'm a 21yr old Virgin & I absolutely love Tamara's & Tamar's views on the subject I agree with both of them....I love table talk like these where they aren't talking over one another😘
Wow! I just had this convo with my mother earlier. I feel like it's no longer OK for me to be comfortable to be a virgin at 24. I tend to scare men off as well or they cling to me and become obsessed. But, I know this is my decision AND I'm proud of it. I'm in school and working on me.
I'm a 34 year old (soon to be 35) virgin and proud of it. If I exist, he exists (whoever he is)!! I believe I'll be married when God blesses me. Until then, I continue to go about my life and am happy.
Frolie I know this comment 4 years later than your comment but I hope you are still sticking to your principles if you aren't married by now. BTW pay no attention to that negative comment because what you said is NOT B.S.
Lmao if you die a virgin. You aren't experiencing your humanity bc you are have some archaic mindset meant for a time when people were marrying at the FIRST sign of menstruation. Smh...
I'm also 21 and a virgin. I am definitely in no rush to give it away because it is sacred gift for my future husband. The right man for me will come along and I know the wait will be worthwhile. Right now I'm out here trying to serve my purpose and have an awesome career along the way.
For all the talk about which women are "Wife Material" Who is talking or asking about men that are"Husband Material" AND NOT JUST IN TERMS OF HIS MATERIAL POSSESSIONS BUT ALSO HIS CHARACTER AND MORALS? There is so much shaming and pressure for women to be what men want and sadly a lot of times it comes from both men AND women.
I don't think it is necessary to tell a guy you are a virgin, but just communicate to them that you are not looking to jump into bed with them. If they leave than bye, if they stay than they are a potential keeper. And when the time comes and it gets more serious, than tell them. In my experience, many guys don't care about your sex status. And if they truly like you they will not mind waiting. Same goes for girls who are not virgins. You don't need to share intimate details about your past sex life with a guy you just met.
This is literally why Tam Tam is my favorite twin & host (I love Lolo Jones too!). I'm a 23yo virgin (no sex til marriage) & I've never kissed a guy before. But I've never hid it and was popular in high school & college so whenever the topic came up I always spoke my piece and tried to remove the stereotype of popular girls being sluts. When I went on a 2hr walk(I like to walk haha) with a guy who liked me, the convo was going great then we just started spitting out random info I told him about both things because I didn't want to keep on talking to a guy with ulterior motives and waste my time. But to my surprise he was actually ecstatic..like he was happier than me that I graduated college pure. And my mom even knows (when i was 11 she told me i couldn't have a boyfriend till i was 18 - she was probably playing but i was very obedient obviously LOL) and every chance she gets, she tells her friends "yea well my baby still a virgin sooo.." lmao. It really makes me happy that my personal decision is something my mom is proud of without her forcing it on me. It's very rare, precious and takes a lot of self control/respect to me so I'm definitely treasuring it for my husband. #HeyFutureBoo
Amen to this girl & everything Tamara said, she got some good sense. I'm 20 years old & in college, & still pure. My focus is not on any man or sex, no it's not easy, but I know it'll be worth it. You go girl, you're not alone !
"Men dont want girls who sleep with anybody" Why does that matter?If a girl want to sleep with people without commitment she should be able to just like any guy.....Same goes other way other,if she doesnt want to have sex it is her choice and she shouldnt be pressured to.
it's different for girls. As women, you are letting men INSIDE of your body! that's different, its more sacred then going inside someone. And for us sex is emotional. So it says more about a women in a bad way, if she has numbed herself to that. suggests there are underlying reasons for her promiscuity.
+originaldiary I mean, it's your choice, you are able to no problem, I'm not dragging you away - it's just I wouldn't take you into consideration for a relationship, because this is the point when certain expectations that I have towards the person I form a relationship with have to be met = "men don't want [to BE WITH] girls who sleep with anybody". You're free to do it anyway, though. Does that make sense?
+liacashmere58 But shouldn't men be held to the same standards that they want to set for women? Why should they be allowed to be sleep around without judgement yet be permitted to judge a woman for doing the same? That's a moral high ground that those kind of men don't deserve to stand on.
+blackbutterfly233ify Me either! Thats so risky and definitely not fair for someone who's saved themselves. Thats like some weird cross contamination..
Don't ever settle for less than what you know you deserve. Waiting produces strength in your character and refines you as a woman. Don't put yourself out there or search for a man because that's not a woman's job. The man that was created for you, is out there somewhere preparing himself as well, but if you keep clogging up your time with these other men, how will the one you were made for be able to find you? Use this single time to really find out who you are.. There's too much to learn about yourself while you are single, and the more you put yourself in the path of these "maybe" men who don't have the same values that you have, you are going to allow them to convince you that you are not special, that you are not worth it, which can lower your self esteem and lead you to do the very thing you don't want to do, just to get them to stay. Enjoy your youth! Plus, bad boys have no self control and no self respect. They are usually selfish and will play you in a hot minute especially if you are a virgin.. They'll trample all over your pearls without even a second thought-and then on to the next one. If you still find that you are attracted to this type of guy, that's even more reason to stay single and continue to grow as a woman. In time, you will find that the man who is worth your time is not at all a wild and arrogant one, but the same one that you are trying to avoid at this age.. All things change with time.. Good Luck!
Let me tell you, I’m 30 a virgin who’s waiting until marriage and I really needed to hear all of this again. Dating is definitely challenging at this point but I don’t believe I’m waiting for nothing. Thanks for talking about this ladies!
@@davidbolha Please learn to construct sentences before talking about 'biology'. No, women's 'SMV' doesn't go down at 30, and neither does men's 'SMV' go up. Everyone ages, we all die, some people are ugly from birth and some get better looking with age. Some people are infertile at 20 and others pop out babies at 40. There are patterns (one of them being that older men are less able to get a woman pregnant, btw) but there are no rules. So instead of writing this incel bullshit to make yourself feel better, try asking a girl out on a date.
sometimes, even when you do give it up, dudes still say peace out because they only wanted that one thing. Better that those dudes left now instead of getting a piece of you and just running off
I don't believe in the term "Virginity" or the concept. It's an antiquated concept. People say "virgin" like you have some sort of disease that needs a cure. You are not giving anyone anything and no one is taking anything from you. Nothing in your body changes it is simply an experience (the hymen is a myth because it does not apply to every woman). You are simply having sex for the first time! Period. (consider those who were raped, LGBT etc). You are not special or better than anyone else if you choose or do not choose to have sex. Do you!! Life is about choices and conscious decision making. A woman or man should not follow the life script or society's pressure in order to feel valued. We should not "virgin shame" or "slut shame" because we are placing too much of an emphasis on a person's sexuality not their character as a human being. Besides just because you are having sex doesn't mean you are all-knowing about the topic or an adult (as far as I am concerned a real adult pays his/her own housing payments, car payments, and bills- that's what makes a real adult NOT having sex). Also just because a woman chooses not to engage in any sexual activity doesn't mean she is a prude. Why do people care about other people's sex lives anyway?? Damn now I'm mad.
MsDudette21 In this day and age, being a Virgin is special. in a society where sex is constantly being shoved down our throats, being a virgin is a very admirable thing. it shows strength, and most importantly self-respect. Which is something we should be teaching our younger generation, not introducing them to Kim Kardashian and the sexy songs we hear on the radio every day. We need to teach them about the important things in life, which is not include sex. we need to teach them to Value themselves and their bodies, and to not just throw that away to anybody. Like it or not, being a virgin is very special. having sex whenever and with whomever is fine, and I would never treat somebody differently because of that, but you can bet money that I will question their morals and self-respect.
Not everyone who is a virgin is christian. You don't have to be christian to be a virgin. Jesus christ isn't the only reason why women or men make the decision to be a virgin. Some people actually make the decision based on how they truly feel and are not influenced by religion.
Yeah, some virgins are virgins only cuz they are ugly. Some are too shy, I'm a virgin for 2 reasons, mainly because of religion [waiting for marriage to avoid fornication] , the other half because of ultra abnormal life situations....
It is wonderful to live in a time where woman are taking their power back and saying "Hey, I will do what is best for me" whether that be going for it or abstaining from it. Whatever the decision is, it's because we are standing up and taking charge of our lives....I would personally like to hear more of all these woman that make this decision based on truly knowing themselves, knowing what they want and creating the life they want. It just seems to me that we always hear of christians doing this....because of their faith, purity or obedience, which is okay I aso want to hear of the others.
I believe in God and Christianity but I hate when people tell others to find a christian cause they won't do this "bad thing" or that "bad thing" there are plenty of unmarried Christians out here gettin it on..some of the even do it in church! Don't let it fool you lol I also agree that people should do what is best for them
Thank you the real. For being the only talk show that doesn't look down or scrutinize virgins or Christian women who want to save themselves for marriage :)
Every time I hear Tamera’s words of wisdom it reminds me of her struggle to find her voice. I remember her saying that she couldn't get a word in edgeways between her mum and her sister. It just goes to show that there are many people out there struggling to find their voice, whose views need to be heard and if some of the ones who were loud from the get go would pipe down they might learn a thing or two.
-I definitely don't think you should disclose that you're a virgin on the first date! That's something you discuss after you have gotten to know the person and see that there's a connection. -And to be honest, why should anyone care about what the next person calls them regarding their sex life. It's none of their business! And I can't stand when men have the audacity to call women out of their names if they sleep around but get praise when they turn around and do the same thing! Live your life for you! Period.
It's tough because while you want to let the person know immediately in order to avoid wasting your time on them, I agree that it is TMI on the first date.
To be honest I think she needs to just stay single. I'm the same age as her and I feel like guys in their early 20's can't really do much/have much to offer besides sex. Either she does that or finds a guy that older and more mature who has been there and done that and who can understand her value as a young woman. Sex won't be the only thing on their mind, trust me.
This is why I love Tamera so much, she literally has lived my life and so many other women who are virgins and are really trying to find the right guy. For all who are dealing with this, there is absolutely nothing wrong with you, believe that. #WifeMaterialAtAYoungAge You betta preach Tamera!
I had a guy break up with me because I want to remain a virgin until marriage. It's so hard navigating life as a young woman, let alone one who has made such a great commitment to herself. I think it's inspiring to see other women make the same choice and I pray strength and encouragement all over you. A worth while man will show up one day.
I have been feeling so insecure bc i told a guy i was talking to that im a virgin and the next day he cancelled plans with me.. i always wondered why dont men like me whats wrong with me... this made me feel so much better about myself 🥰
my husband was 29 and when we married i took his and my brother in law is 28 and is still a virgin. my husbands friends range from 27 to 32 and they r virgins. waiting for marriage :)
Tamera this is why i like you so much. You stick to your values no matter what anyone else says or thinks! A lot of people now a days succumb to peer pressure just to be cool. I waited till marrige and it was well worth the wait. So for thoes girls out there who want to wait then wait your virginity is precious dont just give it to anyone until your sure you found the right one.
I waited until I was 27 when I found someone who truly loved me and I loved back. So happy to have waited. In my opinion, it's not your age that matters so much as having a strong sense of self and finding someone who you really are connected to. It just so happens that it is more likely to take some time to achieve all of that but it's worth it.
Tamera is an embodiment of a good role model to the youth. She just says the bestest of things in her point of view. Clearly shows how she was raised and where she come from. ♥♥♥
I watched this video right after watching the video where they were talking about how if the guy doesn't want to have sex they would be offended and some even said something was wrong with him. They are representation of what is wrong with so many women in this country today. The double standard is strong with them.
Amalgam X that's so true, I forgot about that clip. It is sad that people have the mindset. Coming from a female, it shouldn't be a problem if I heard a guy said he was a virgin or would wait.
i really needed to hear this, i love this panel of ladies! mostly the end "time to focus on yourself and guys come and go". I just ended something with a guy I've liked for 5 months and i kept chasing him and being lead on by him and i finally awoke to him being a waste of my time and he's not the one for me. we're both virgins so i thought he would admire that but clearly i wasn't worth his time so yes guys do come and go! we will all end up with the right person!
I don't think it matters when you tell them you're a virgin. That's something an individual can wait on. Now being celibate until marriage or simply planning on waiting a certain period of time is something you should knock out of the way early on.
I am a guy who turned 22 just 8 weeks ago and never even had a girlfriend before. I use dating apps and get few matches but get ghosted. Recently got 2 matches, one of them is 18 and another one is 20 turning 21 in April and they are sweet but still no plan of first date or anything. I also got rejected by 2 girls in my college few months ago. I chat with some girls on Instagram whom I knew in my school days and they are within 19-22 age range. I chat with 3 of those girls so far. One of them is 19 almost 20, another one is 20 and another is 22. The 19 and the 22 year old doesn't chat regularly with me whereas the 20 year old does chat with me regularly but she gets a bit uncomfortable when I compliment her or something so I am too scared to even ask her out as she definitely doesn't seem to want anything more than just friends
thank you Tamera. if it wasn't for people like her I wouldn't feel comfortable in this world we live in. why is a big deal if I'm a virgin and I choose to be one until marriage. I mean I'm really young and I got more important things to think about than sex. even if it sound crazy people my age (13) have sex. and I'm just like I still love my stuffed animals what you doing spreading yo legs like I spread my butter. I feel like in this world we lost all self respect and values and as a Christian girl how is it OK for me to wanna be a better Christian and Catholic but yet I'm ignoring a certain sect of my beliefs. now I'm not hating on girls who don't wait cause come on I'm 13 I don't know everything but all I'm saying is that we should learn to appreciate what God gave us and learn self respect and self love. if we can love or respect ourselves and our bodies then how is any man or boy going to do that for us.
Tamera has an anointing on her to speak to young women period. I use to feel so bad because all my friends in high school bragged about their sexual experiences. And I felt like I was being left behind. Everyone was growing up faster than me but, one day during my bible study I found Ecclesiastics 3:11 “He has made everything beautiful in its time.” And what I took away from that was there is a time for everything under heaven. Don’t rush the process instead enjoy the season of growth! If you do everything now, what is it about life & growing up that you have to look forward to if you’re acting grown at 15? You will bloom when the time is right- I promise you, you will bloom & you will be so thankful that you didn’t rush the process. That you didn’t jump off the cliff just because all your friends were jumping.
The girl should just focus on her studies and join the young adult club in her church. She's still young and she will find the right guy. Good luck to you Danielle!
You said it! As someone else has commented. A woman shouldn't be looking for a man. He should find her and she should make the decision as to whether to be with him or not, based on her beliefs Matt 6:33
I'm 21 and also a virgin. Never had a real relationship either...I don't go telling the guy I'm a virgin on the first date but within the first couple or so and I feel it is the right time I will let him know. More often than not this news doesn't work in my favor, but I'm beginning to be more confident and owning it. It has been extremely difficult, especially in college. I have felt like I wasn't good enough like Tamara and probably others have felt. Not many of my friends can really relate anymore either because it feels like I'm the last one standing. I just have to remind myself that everything happens for a reason. I appreciate Tamara's meaningful contributions to the discussions and value her viewpoint immensely. She is the real MVP!
I'm also a virgin in college. It would be nice if the guy I'm seeing was also a virgin but I understand that finding virgin men in their early 20s is hard to find these days. So if he's not a virgin he has to respect my decision to not have sex until marriage.
YEEEEEEEEES!!!! Finally! I am 23 and still a virgin and there is nothing wrong with that. I know what I want in life, once I walk across that stage and get my degree, once I travel the world and experience the joys of being devoted to a career I absolutely love and THEN marry my virgin husband where ever he is lol STAND PROUD FELLOW VIRGINS!!!! :D
So if you are not a virgin when you get married, you're not wife material? I understand where Tamera is coming from but that's a little insulting. Being a virgin does not promise you a happy ending, just like not being a virgin doesn't promise you a happy ending and that's just being real.
It's true though if a girl is saving herself that's fine, but saying that she is wife material solely based on that is false. I understand Tamera's point and because she related to this girls situation but that is false to say. Being wife material is much more than just whether or not she is a virgin.
I don’t think that is what Tamara was saying. I think she said the girl is wife material because she isn’t just giving it up to everyone. If you are giving it up to everyone, you aren’t ready to settle down with one person and that’s fine. But if you are, it shows you are committed to one person which is what also happens in a marriage. I don’t think what she said was meant to be insulting, but i can see how it might’ve been seen that way.
people really shouldn't judge people who are sexually adventurous or celibate. yes waiting to find the one is all good and dandy but in all honesty, sex is overrated and people take it too seriously like loosing your virginity is some kind of spiritual awakening, its not lol tbh there are not a lot of guys who are virgins because society pressures them to get it in whenever they can. a womans sexuality and sexual partners shouldn't determine what kind of guy she gets or if shes "wife material" theres such a double standard when it comes to that.
Yes I cringed at that wife material comment... just because she's abstaining from sex does not make her wife material. A guy should love you for who u are...Tamar and Jeannie and Adrienne are perfect examples...u mean to tell me they aren't wife material because they didn't abstain from sex before marriage. Its sort of degrading. Im not bashing her I just wish she would have chosen better words for it.
912nelle exactly, like i like Tamera but she was wrong for that comment and when she said "guys dont want girls that sleep with everybody" i mean just because she held out for 100 years doesn't mean everyone else has to.lol girls that sleep with a lot of guys aren't hoes. if thats the case every guy in this world is a hoe. theres too many double standards out there. if im being honest Tamera isn't the best person to take advice from, this is the woman who cried when she saw a stripper lmao
JayJay Nicola B. But a man wouldn't even know about that unless a woman volunteers that information... and that very same man does not see himself in that same light as not worthy when he is having sex with Jane, Mary, and Susan and whomever else he pleases....it works both ways...
yes, I think it is excellent to find a man or women that is evenly yoked. especially, when you are a virgin and all the other people want is to get in your pants. but you have to learn to keep the faith and keep your belief that a guy that has the same views as you will come. Let the Lord guide you. The Lord has a guy waiting for you and it is all in due time. right now, focus on studies and enjoy life. Having a relationship can wait.
![Seungmin "그렇게, 천천히, 우리(As we are)" | [Stray Kids : SKZ-PLAYER]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/kAzmhLHePqU/mqdefault.jpg)
![I.N "HALLUCINATION" | [Stray Kids : SKZ-PLAYER]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/n5B5q1Hwt_U/mqdefault.jpg)
I'm so glad Tamera is on the show. She is the only one I can relate too. If she wasn't on there, I would've felt pressured into losing my virginity too quickly because of the other girls' beliefs.
AquariusLady Gorgeouz Yeah, I know. Sometimes from peer pressure, you end up doubting yourself. I have that issue.
If you let someone change your doings and beliefs like that you never did believe or you always wanted to.
omg !!! ikr !! they did right putting her on the panel...like she represents a voice for younger girls that otherwise would not have been heard had she not been there.. i love her man!..
FlawlessRolie ARMY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
FlawlessRolie ARMY😏😏😏😏
"You're wife material in very young age" Thanks Tamera, actually I need these words.
Daria G same here
Being celibate doesn't make you wife material .
Same
liley dumzela no it does not, but being mature and true to yourself and your values does
@@lileydumzela3191 sleeping with every man, she finds attractive doesn't make a woman wife material either.
Tamera is the type of woman I want to be when I'm grown.
Same :)
How did that go ?
@@stefanylopez9107 😂😂😂😂😭this question
How's it goin?
@ Autumnn Jaide
Yes! Tia and Tamara are great role models. Even now as an adult in my early 30s, I look up to them.
Lord please help her to stay strong
BeAuTiFuL Smile amen.
Amen
To complete what Tamera said at 2:08, not only christians try to preserve their virginity, there are also the muslims, jewish, etc...
Yes exactly
I think the only reason she said Christians is b/c she is a Christian she is not Jewish or Muslim or whatever so she can't speak for the culture they live only on what she herself has lived and knows as a Christian woman.
iman campbell that's what I thought too. She said it because in the case they talked about the cristians
Also it isnt just religion based people as well, there are also just "regular, neutral" individuals out there with no strong ties to religion that just simply want to preserve themselves. Some people just arent pressed to have sex. The entire ordeal just isnt that deep to them.
Sex is natural for human beings but I feel as though it has been taken and put on a pedestal it wasnt meant to be put on.
rex smithehiggins that's why I said 'etc.' Sorry for my english I'm french lol I'm trying to speak english as I speak french
TAMERA, what will we do when you're on your maternity leave! you're the most sane and logical person on that table! THE VOICE OF REASON! everyone relates to you! sigh.
I was thinking the same thing,I hope they find someone who has her way of thinking. Hope she's not out to long.
I know right! The show wouldn't be the same without her. She's the one I can identify with and she's cool. At least to me she is. -sigh-
I hope they ask Tia to sit in her place!!!!!!
the Ghetto black girls will take over and it'll become yet another show on television portraying black women as loud(loni) and ghetto/horribly spoken(Tamar). When Tamera is on Maternity leave, the other two will single-handedly set black women back at least a year or two. Just saying.
Destiny I don't think she'd like that, there might start to be comparisons with them being twins, I feel like she'd prefer not to have that
there are so many men who are pretending to have all this sex and they are NOT. They are virgins too . She is dodging bullets, keep your legs closed and worry about that homework! So glad Tamera is on the show because the other girls had nothing concrete to say, poor Adrienne was stumbling for words LOL!
LOVE Tamera
True
hahaha
I'm a 26 year old male virgin
virgins are like unicorns in today's society .
Exactly
i am one of them
Kanika Garal good for you love.
Jac jax I always wanted to be a unicorn.
you can be anything you wanna be love. lol
I have respect for every woman. I don't care if they're sleeping around with anyone or they're a virgin. All women deserve respect for making decisions for their body.
Except for the hoes...
"All Women" deserve respect for their bodies...Now say that about guys and realise how stupid/irresponsible that comment is
Beta male.
Then the guys who want a virgin should have the right to look for a "pure" woman" u kno
I have respect for every man. I don't care if they're sleeping around with anyone or they're a virgin. All men deserve respect for making decisions for their body. lmao
Ugh, I just LOVE Tamera and she is my role model. I'm 22 and a virgin ;)
me too she's a great role model,im 19 and a virgin,I'm pressuring my own mom into getting me a purity ring :D lol
Green Dots Haha! I have a purity ring too :)
Same Here Im 20 & A Virgin Im Saving My Self For The Right Person Nothing Wrong With It😍😍
I'm 21 and also saving myself for marriage and proud of it :)
I'm 29 and I'm also waiting until I'm married!!
I love all the ladies perspectives here. I think Tamera, Loni, and Jeannie gave good advice as well. Sometimes the ladies of the Real annoy me, but I love all of them the same. Great segment!
No one cares if they annoy u.
I got married virgin and my husband too. It's awesome to share that with one person only...
Josiphia Rizado the best marriages
did you pray for it? Im a virgin and want a virgin husband too.
It is
Well hey, if you're a person who wants to save yourself for marriage, and the guy doesn't share those same values, he's not for you. And if you're a guy, and the girl doesn't share your same values, she's not for you. And so goes the opposite. Besides, why does sex matter so much? When one gets old, and can't "get it up" anymore, what else will they have to sustain the relationship? There are plenty of people in relationships who have nothing in common, except for sex. In my opinion, intimacy is much deeper than the physical. Can I learn from you? Are you funny? Are you smart? Are you encouraging? Can we chill and act a fool around each other? If you're not interested in getting to know me for who I am, why in the world should I grace you with the treasure of my body? If you respect me, you'll respect my decision(whatever that may be) and not try to sway me from it.
I applaud her, and I hope she doesn't allow herself to be pressured. She's a beautiful young woman, and I hope she finds a guy worthy of her "treasure". I thought of something when Tamera said she thought she could change those guys to remain abstinent like her. I'm not so sure anyone can change anyone. Now influence? Most definitely. There are plenty of men and women who think they can "influence" someone away from being abstinent. They may seemingly accept your decision at first, but slowly they'll test your boundaries. And you have to make sure your boundaries are clear. To them, but especially to yourself.
Being abstinent isn't easy, but I stand among those who've made that decision. I think it's a beautiful thing! And I firmly believe that "all good things come to those who wait. 😊
I co-sign everything you just said. Your post was sincere and deep God Bless You girl stand firm on what you believe... you are alright with me.
Lady, you just preached and encouraged me too :) Wishing you the best husband for you when the time is right.
iman campbell Thank you. God bless you too! :-)
C Fas Praise God. I'm glad I was able to encourage you. Trust me, I know the struggle is plenty real out here, lol. But, it's so worth it to wait. Thank you. I pray the same for you! 😊
gIftEdsOul09 You are welcome I meant everything I said too. Your words were so encouraging we need more like you.
If a dude got up and left after I broke the news to him I would call him to thank for not wasting my time and showing me his true colors that soon!! He would be the only one looking stupid behaving like that.
Yes!🙌
yessss
+ZosiaSamosiaOo I would do the same thing, and to make the guy even more mad i would tell him I wouldn't lose my virginity with an idiot.
This reminds me of when a girl would confess that she had an STD, thank you for telling me, this isn't going to work. There's no reason to send a message back with an attitude, you should probably search within the ranks of the born again or something like that but dropping that on a college student thats different valued than yourself is just asking for a certain response.
He just don’t wanna waste his time that all
I really thought I was alone in this. This encourages me in my celibacy walk so much I loved this!
Niya Winchester I know before I saw this video I felt like the only one because all of my peers looked down on me for being a virgin and being celibate
I completely understand. They do say that those that chase after purity are going to be looked at as odd though now.
Niya Winchester me too girl
Celibacy and virginity isn’t the same thing though.... Being s virgin is when you’ve never had sex , while celibacy is when you’ve had sex ,but you’re not having sex at the moment.
That's why I love Tamera. She is the main one who keeps it REAL without being extra or worried about "stepping on anyone's toes". Been rocking with her since Sister-Sister.
My entire RUclips channel is centered around my struggles as a 24 year old woman trying to date as virgin who is waiting for marriage so this video is sooooo right on time ! It definitely gets depressing but have my channel has allowed me to connect with other people who feel the same . Keep waiting , it's worth it
+MariahCarey Lover wow! Thank you ❤️
I just subscribed
+Nataja Zanellé I'm 23 and I'm still a virgin as well. I don't like the pressure they put on girls especially to have sex. They tell you not to, then laugh at you for being a virgin. It's crazy.
+Nesha Britwood yeah it's a lot harder to than I ever thought it would be . It's like you're ridiculed if you do and ridiculed if you don't . I say keep waiting you know what's best for you !
I know what you mean girls, I'm 24 and waiting, but I can tell you that where I find that is not a burden but a blessing is when I go to my local religion-oriented "student club", for the lack of a better term, that is working by my church (there are over 60 in my city alone, each big church has one). I don't know what places of that kind you have in your countries (I live in Poland), but I'm sure there are these associations or groups where college or university students meet on a eg. weekly basis and either listen to some religious speeches and presentations on whatever subject and then socialise like we do or do Bible studies, or discussions etc. Maybe there are clubs like that on campuses? This is the place where you'll find like-minded people and guys who will not only respect, but actually value your virginity and very often be virgins themselves. This is also a good place to find a solid, reliable boyfriend with high morale you know you can always trust - as an added bonus :)
Another point I would like to make is to remember you are MUCH more than that; you are people who have a lot going on in your lives, you have many activities, you meet many people, you have numerous achievements and some challenges ahead - this is what you've got to focus your mind on, not on something that irrelevant in everyday lives as your PERSONAL choice of abstaining from sex. Even more so, where I live it's a very delicate subject and you'd only talk about it with your close, trusted friends who would not judge you (and if they do, you know you gotta change them ;P). My advice would be - try if this works for you too, just tell people this is a personal question / subject when it comes up in a conversation and don't dwell into it if you don't feel like it. However, always be sure in your choice because at the end of the day these people come and go and you yourselves are going to live your lives and deal with the consequences of your own actions. Good luck!
I'm a guy at 25 and a virgin. I understand the flip side on the subject because females are the same way. It was super hard in College because a lot of time due to culture of my campus, I was ridiculed for waiting but I wanted more than a casual one night stand or side chick. I wanted a relationship that was serious. Looking for another virgin in College never going happen...focus on academics and get out.
I applaud you👏👏 I'm in the same boat.
Wow. You guys are the bomb. I couldn't wait. I tried to sleep with every woman. If they did right away then I looked for another asap
+sailorkeyblader you don't have to feel like there are no virgin women in college, hey i'm 23 and a virgin too. I don't feel the need to conform. I'll do what I like when it feels right :) it's very refreshing to find another man that's a virgin at a close age !
+sailorkeyblader yo go sailordude !! :)) be proud of it
I respect you because I assume that it is a personal choice
everyone in the comments are saying they're some age and a vigrin..... I'm 20 and I'm such a vigrin that I haven't had my first kiss yet
Yes I'm not alone
omg SAME here
one out of the three of yall is lying, no kiss really nd you 20 no way get ya life 😂😂
+Jst_beautiful Me nope it's true, I've been offered many but the guys are ..... yeah No
+Jst_beautiful Me Do you know me to call me a liar ? Just shut up and go get you a life
My bf is a 21 year old virgin who's waiting until marriage. So yeah they exist, adrienne.
im 23 men virgin lol im more mature than ur bf😂😂😂
Heart29000 where have you been all my life lol
And I'm a 21 male virgin as well lol
Being a virgin doesn't make you "wife material". Being a kind, loving and decent person does. All of this emphasis being placed on female virginity is so ridiculous. Any guy who would try to make you feel like you're less than "wife material" because you've had multiple sex partners is the kind of guy you should steer clear of. His priorities are all messed up. Being a virgin isn't what's going to make your marriage strong or healthy. You are more than your vagina. Your worth isn't tied to your sexuality. A real man should be more concerned about what's in your heart than anything else.
I agree.... I think what she meant is that most men "perceive" you as wife material. Still pretty messed up...but its true.
You have a really good point. Virgins are not all squeaky clean angels... There is more to a persons character than the number of sexual partners they have had.
Also, people have different views on what is considered "sex." That virgin could be doing everything but penetration and still be calling herself a "virgin."
Lami Akin thank you! I hate how the emphasis is on the woman to be sexually "pure" and the men are are allowed to have multiple sex partners and still be considered "husband material" if they have a good job and a good character. Such double standards!
***** I agree with your point on women chastising promiscuous men and leveling the plane somewhat. I don't agree with men (or women) who take having several sex partners as badges just so they can be applauded. People like that are just plain pathetic. However, i don't find any fault in a person who has had sex with several people because of the pleasure of sex or because they've been in several intimate relationships.
No man wants to be with a woman who has slept around an women should be the same way about a man sometimes your past can keep you from better things an being a thot isn't the way to go...js
I'm 23 and a virgin. When I dated in college, I would wait to see if the relationship was going anywhere before disclosing that information. With a few guys, I could tell from our first dates that all they wanted was sex and I would just stop talking to them because clearly they weren't going to get what they wanted. Twice I dated guys that I actually had a connection with in college and told them that I was a virgin and I wanted to wait til marriage to have sex. One thought I was lying and tried to pressure me into having sex with him anyway. Needless to say, I stopped talking to him. The other was very understanding and he was also celibate which made the situation better. So while I'm not ashamed to say I'm a virgin, it's also not the FIRST thing I say to a guy on our first date.
Very insightful and I think you are a smart young woman. Trust your instincts and mad respect to you
Thank you!
lachicabonita I completely agree with your approach! I'm in that position now and I find that it really is no ones business whether you're a virgin or not until you get to know them a bit better. I'm not saying to lead them on or wait until feelings are caught, but having it be one of the first things you say on a date is a bit overwhelming and can cut short connections which could be made with people who once they got to know you, may have been willing to wait.
Stay strong girl!
I'm 21, never been kissed, and a virgin....I've always felt so comfortable and looked up to Tamera...life and relationships aren't all about sex! And it doesn't make you weak or uncool because you haven't had those experiences! In many ways, it makes you classier, more dignified, and stronger. Thank you Tamera 😘😍
I'm 21, male virgin as well.
I know this comment is 4 years old, soo any update lol?
I love Tamera. Always speaking up for us. 🙌🏻
Why they up there looking like the Might morphing power rangers 😂👏🏾😂😂😂
LMFAO!!!!!!
i looked back and im DYIN lol
Lmao dying 😂😂😂👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
lmao i hate you
swaggpro17 lol 😂
I'm a virgin and I'm proud to be it. These days media put glamour on people who sleeps around with multiple people. But in real life, that's nasty. I like Tamera for this
👏👏👏👏👏
+Pretty Girl I say I agree with you. As if, it is really something good. Oh my, but i am kind of guilty of the sex thing because I am doing it more often. Well, i am a guy. A gay guy to be specific. Still, I love seeing these women taking about sex and preserving virginity especially to women. I just believe that virginity of a woman is a gift that she can be proud of to a guy that she is going to marry. It shows a sense of self worth/self value to one self. Oh my goood. I dont believe that I am commenting on this. I already did though.
+miguel anghelito that's cool that you think that I'm definitely saving myself for marriage
+miguel anghelito that's cool that you think that I'm definitely saving myself for marriage
Yeah, keep it up. Goodluck with your journey.
I'm 25 and a virgin and I'm waiting for the right guy and I decided to wait until marriage. At first I used to be ashamed and embarrassed about being a virgin at my age, but I realized that there is nothing to be ashamed about being a virgin at my age. Tamera and Loni are right because guys don't want women who sleeps with everything and everyone. Guys prefer a women who doesn't have that many sexual partners and they do not want a woman who's very promiscuous. Tamera and Loni gave great advice and I love the message they gave this girl on the show.
I can relate. I'm 31 and a virgin and I'm waiting until marriage. I'm proud and grateful to God that I've lasted this long because the temptation is RREEEAALL. But marriage is more real.
Queenceba29 WOW... Your Awesome! I pray God brings your Mr Right ASAP
Queenceba29 I'm 34 and a virgin and I'm waiting until marriage. It doesn't bother me anymore when people talk about losing their virginity or being promiscuous because my trust is in Jesus who loves me and died for me so I don't have anything to prove to anyone. The temptation is REAL though but I educate myself about sex so if people decide to talk about it I'm not awkward or naive around them. It's refreshing to see I'm not the only virgin in my thirties...
Avionne Parris Yes Avionne! It is a blessing to hear from a fellow peer who is saving herself for marriage. We are rare these days, but I truly believe that it is worth the wait and my husband will reap all of the pinned up 'benefits'.. lol.
You all gonna get spider web in your p*ssy ..waiting for the special..someone. because men nowadays are no worth it...
I don't understand why people are calling Tamar and Adrienne rude?
They were speaking on the male, college student perspective. I'm in college and they were spot on. A guy that doesn't share your relationship view IS gonna be like *peace out* regardless if it hurts.
I felt like this was a really good table talk.
Yea i liked this tabletalk alot.
Because apparently everyone that watches the real (according to these comment sections) is a Christian virgin that had never made a mistake in their life and like to think Tamera is the second coming of Jesus. So if it even seems like someone is giving a different (and maybe more realistic) perspective, they throw stones SMH
King I agree. They will defend Tamera like she isn't judgmental herself. It was a simple table talk and everyone has their opinions. Why the hell does Tamar, Loni, and Adrienne constantly fall under criticism for not agreeing with Tamera?
KING090589 looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooool
KING090589 I would love to give you the Thumbs of youtube!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 100000000000000000 times........you said it the best bruh! These people don't understand reality, I mean I'm here for Jesus and his teachings, and I respect a virgin a hundred percent, however you have to highlight what is reality and what is out there and that's what Adrienne and Tamar were doing in this segment....I really like you a lot for this comment...Nothing is wrong about knowing what's actually happening and most of these commenters behave like that. Catch them in their real lives, they are worst than they make others to be
I applaud Tamara for standing on her values and not talking and walking and popping her lips and fingers like a stank-a-dank!
+Bella Soul talking , walking, popping lips and fingers like a "stank a dank" as you put it have absolutely nothing to do with values though. You can applaud Tamera wihtout putting others down.
trinitallis 😶 ✋
you talking about Tamar? lol
@@trinitallis 👏👏👏
I'm 24 & a virgin & I come across the same problem in dating. Most guys just cut me off soon as I tell them I'm a virgin. Others will still date me & see if they can try to convince me. Once they realize that I'm not going to give in, they give up. It's weird though cause so many guys tell me that I'm wife material. Being a virgin at my age is so rare because now we're in a time where premarital sex is a norm. It makes dating life a struggle. But if I'm supposed to have a husband I'm sure God is getting him ready for me :)
Would like to hear more from you.
are you still a virgin
Alanna Miller I love you and proud of your being a virgin, never allow anyone to write you off coz you are a virgin.You are on the right side of the truth of the Bible.On Dating and marriage-All things work together for good to those who are in Christ Jesus and have been called according to His purpose.
It's really encouraging seeing so many comments about men and women who are waiting for that special someone. Let's me know i'm not alone. 21 year old virgin and I'm proud of it.
These women give me LIFE. Tamara is SOOOO REFRESHING in a world where they idolize women like Kim K and Amber rose. It's fine not to be a sexually active
bottom line. It's OK to be different.
I've made a decision to wait until marriage and I'm only 17. it's hard because I know college is coming and with that comes a lot more responsibility and me having to really put my foot down by myself. in highschool it was easier because I could make excuses like "my mom won't let me", but in college I'm going to be in charge of my own life and sexuality. thanks for these inspiring words guys! ❤
God is your strength , look to Him only and He will direct your path .God bless you.Feel free to check out my channel
Tecla Joaquina I definitely will! Thank you
I'm a virgin and in high school and now a days that is an accomplishment because girls my age are always opening there legs for someone or popping out babies like it's going out of style so I have huge respect for people who r virgins and respect people who r not virgins but are not hoeing around.
I agree I'm 19 this year and I've not lost mine however all my friends are teen mthers
same here
AGREED AM WITH YOU GIRL. AM 21 AND STILL A VIRGIN
+LuvJezula u. keep doing ur thing :) 👍 just whatever makes comfortable .
yes thats true
I can 100% relate to this segment and the issue raised. I'm 20, turning 21 years old in May, and completely agree with this young lady. But like the hosts said, focusing on something else (e.g. study's and work) will prevent a lot of problems from happening!!
Thank you to The Real for being so REAL... and also relatable to many of us women all around the world!
LOVE from the UK, England
If you want to be sexually liberated no one is bashing you for it. But it does get irritating when women who believe in sexual freedom & no commitment start to bash other women who just aren't ready to have sex. idk how to not sound condescending when I say "sleep around"; I'm not tryna sound rude but ppl might take it that way. sleeping around...that's what it is. If someone wants to live that way, then that's their life & they can do that. I just personally cannot do it
True; im just saying ppl get so offended whenever i say sleeping around. I dont believe in sleeping around. But ppl are always saying "its my body i can do what i want" so I try to sound nicer about it lol
The K. Chronicles Yes, my roommate sleeps around a lot. I go to college and that's pretty much what every guy wants. That is not something I can do either. I know I want to wait for the right person.
Same can be said vice-versa. Those who are "holding it out" do bash the ones who are already in the game. You'd think it's a competition of sorts as to who is better (especially women, as Tamera suggested, who's more "wife material"), more respectable, etc. Such semantics don't help progress in any way. It collectively hinders us from accepting that differences are there and that they are freakin' okay! If you're a virgin - cool. If you are sexually liberated - cool. None is better than the other.
paprika h THANK YOU! You said it perfectly. I’m not a virgin and I’m 23 I’m having fun dating around but for some reason I’m considered not wifey material because I lost my virginity. I don’t shake those that wait but people that didn’t like myself shouldn’t be shamed either.
I haven’t seen one comment about people putting virgins down but I’m sure seeing a lot of holier than thou virgins who look down on non-virgins
I like that they didn't try to shame her for being a virgin at 21. The reality is that you are the company u keep and sooner or later you'll gravitate towards someone with similar values and interests so don't worry about it everything happens when it's supposed to....and that goes for everyone.
I congratulate all of you for waiting. 27 and still a virgin because I chose to wait for love. There's no pressure to lose it for you are in control. Any guy that can't understand that simply isn't the one. Be encouraged!
just turned 30 still a Virgin. I made it this far with God. it's not bad. noone can force us to sleep around .loosing ur virginity won't make you any richer or better.
Thanks for posting this video. I'm in my 30s and also still a virgin. The best part of waiting, is knowing there's no rush and that you will find the right time and person to be intimate with when the time is right.
Reality is most 21 yo men are nt respectful enough to appreciate a woman who doesnt want to have sex. Tamar and Tamera are not disagreeing. I understand that Tamera would have appreciated a mature man to respect her and not be rude but Tamar is absolutely right that in most situations men are just not that mature. Its the reality. If nt the case then this young lady would not have a problem finding a mature mate.Tamera is right men dnt want a woman who sleeps with everyone but they do still expect u to sleep with them. Tamar and adrienne are being very realistic in saying that a lot of men that young do not respect the idea of no sex before marriage. Just yesterday they were talking about 12 and 13 year olds sending naked pics. Being sexual is starting way sooner and guys and girls have endless opportunities to have sex and by 21 are very experienced. Virgin men are out there but like loni said they dnt advertise the fact. This was a very healthy convo that had many great points but this young lady shouldnt be down on herself. Life will bring her plenty of opportunities to have a man that respects her wishes.
I agree... Tamara has a point but so does tamar and Adrienne....it would nice to say yea and girl it's easy to find that but reality of it is that it's not always the case....yes Tamara found somebody who loved her but Adam wasn't a virgin when they got together...so it's easier to find someone who respects her decision...everybody has their own views
You better preach I agree with everything you said!
Marquetta Austin How do you know Adam wasn't a virgin when they got together. From what I've heard Tamera say on the show he wasn't with anyone or she chooses to believe he wasn't with anyone.
Nalle Luvbey Referring back to the girl chat they had about knowing how many partners their spouses have. Tamera was asked if she knew how many Adam had before and she openly admitted that she did not know how many nor did she care to know how many because they are together now and thats all that matters
She should wait for a respectable man to share herself with. Who knows the man she might be with may not be a virgin but if he respects her enough they'll be on the same page. She should focus on bettering herself and character and the right man will appear to her.
Maia Tisdon
I don't think she only wants a virgin, she just said it would be easier. I got the impression that she was okay with a guy that wasn't a virgin as long as he was willing wait with her.
i love tamera - finally someone who shares the same views as i do.. nowadays i feel like everyone glorifies sleeping around
I like that (for the most part ) they didn't try to shame her for being a virgin at 21. The reality is that you are the company u keep and sooner or later you'll gravitate towards someone with similar values and interests. Plus, everything happenes when it is meant to, so don't worry about it....and that goes for everyone.
Damn Loni let Jeanne frickin talk😒 every time J open her mouth there goes Loni's hand and "but what we're trying to say" or "what I'm saying is..." Like just let her express her opinion!
Yeah, like she's Jeannie's mother or something. She even did it to Jeannie when Mama Mai first visited and Jeannie was trying to explain the definition of Tiger Mom. Da Fuq is up with Loni?
i agree, often time Jeannie isnt granted the chance to fully express her thoughts and feelings about topics and i personally would love to hear her view on some things in full thought without being interrupted. lol
I agree but she has to learn to assert herself just as Tamera did.
C Fas I think she was more assertive in the beginning, now she has become more passive.
That's true but she should re-assert herself. No other co-host on that panel has the right to stop her from doing her job.
Awwww! I *LOVE* Tamera so much. I have to be honest, when the show first started I only checked for Tamar to be over the top and the rest were irrelevant to me. Between Adrienne wanting to be accepted and Tamera being too weak and quiet, I felt as if the show wouldn't make it. As the show progresses, I now see these women are powerful, strong, beautiful, and they truly do capture the every day spam. The Real is THE* ultimate talk show. I love this show so much.
I only made an effort for Tamar as well...Then now i sort of kinda make an effort for everyone else...I'm not really a talk show person but when i heard Tamar was going to be on the Real ,i had to make sure i keep up with and break people i know into watch it
I love Genie's advice on this one. Especially because she's experienced both sides of the coin when it comes to dating & sex.
I'm a 21yr old Virgin & I absolutely love Tamara's & Tamar's views on the subject I agree with both of them....I love table talk like these where they aren't talking over one another😘
Wow! I just had this convo with my mother earlier. I feel like it's no longer OK for me to be comfortable to be a virgin at 24. I tend to scare men off as well or they cling to me and become obsessed. But, I know this is my decision AND I'm proud of it. I'm in school and working on me.
I'm a 34 year old (soon to be 35) virgin and proud of it. If I exist, he exists (whoever he is)!! I believe I'll be married when God blesses me. Until then, I continue to go about my life and am happy.
that's a bullshit
Frolie I know this comment 4 years later than your comment but I hope you are still sticking to your principles if you aren't married by now. BTW pay no attention to that negative comment because what you said is NOT B.S.
✊🏽
Lmao if you die a virgin. You aren't experiencing your humanity bc you are have some archaic mindset meant for a time when people were marrying at the FIRST sign of menstruation. Smh...
We love to hear it ❤️😫
I'm also 21 and a virgin. I am definitely in no rush to give it away because it is sacred gift for my future husband. The right man for me will come along and I know the wait will be worthwhile. Right now I'm out here trying to serve my purpose and have an awesome career along the way.
For all the talk about which women are "Wife Material" Who is talking or asking about men that are"Husband Material" AND NOT JUST IN TERMS OF HIS MATERIAL POSSESSIONS BUT ALSO HIS CHARACTER AND MORALS? There is so much shaming and pressure for women to be what men want and sadly a lot of times it comes from both men AND women.
I don't think it is necessary to tell a guy you are a virgin, but just communicate to them that you are not looking to jump into bed with them. If they leave than bye, if they stay than they are a potential keeper. And when the time comes and it gets more serious, than tell them. In my experience, many guys don't care about your sex status. And if they truly like you they will not mind waiting. Same goes for girls who are not virgins. You don't need to share intimate details about your past sex life with a guy you just met.
This is literally why Tam Tam is my favorite twin & host (I love Lolo Jones too!). I'm a 23yo virgin (no sex til marriage) & I've never kissed a guy before. But I've never hid it and was popular in high school & college so whenever the topic came up I always spoke my piece and tried to remove the stereotype of popular girls being sluts.
When I went on a 2hr walk(I like to walk haha) with a guy who liked me, the convo was going great then we just started spitting out random info I told him about both things because I didn't want to keep on talking to a guy with ulterior motives and waste my time. But to my surprise he was actually ecstatic..like he was happier than me that I graduated college pure. And my mom even knows (when i was 11 she told me i couldn't have a boyfriend till i was 18 - she was probably playing but i was very obedient obviously LOL) and every chance she gets, she tells her friends "yea well my baby still a virgin sooo.." lmao. It really makes me happy that my personal decision is something my mom is proud of without her forcing it on me. It's very rare, precious and takes a lot of self control/respect to me so I'm definitely treasuring it for my husband. #HeyFutureBoo
Amen to this girl & everything Tamara said, she got some good sense. I'm 20 years old & in college, & still pure. My focus is not on any man or sex, no it's not easy, but I know it'll be worth it. You go girl, you're not alone !
"Men dont want girls who sleep with anybody" Why does that matter?If a girl want to sleep with people without commitment she should be able to just like any guy.....Same goes other way other,if she doesnt want to have sex it is her choice and she shouldnt be pressured to.
it's different for girls. As women, you are letting men INSIDE of your body! that's different, its more sacred then going inside someone. And for us sex is emotional. So it says more about a women in a bad way, if she has numbed herself to that. suggests there are underlying reasons for her promiscuity.
I would never be with a man who had sex with many women
+originaldiary I mean, it's your choice, you are able to no problem, I'm not dragging you away - it's just I wouldn't take you into consideration for a relationship, because this is the point when certain expectations that I have towards the person I form a relationship with have to be met = "men don't want [to BE WITH] girls who sleep with anybody". You're free to do it anyway, though. Does that make sense?
+liacashmere58 But shouldn't men be held to the same standards that they want to set for women? Why should they be allowed to be sleep around without judgement yet be permitted to judge a woman for doing the same? That's a moral high ground that those kind of men don't deserve to stand on.
+blackbutterfly233ify Me either! Thats so risky and definitely not fair for someone who's saved themselves. Thats like some weird cross contamination..
Don't ever settle for less than what you know you deserve. Waiting produces strength in your character and refines you as a woman. Don't put yourself out there or search for a man because that's not a woman's job. The man that was created for you, is out there somewhere preparing himself as well, but if you keep clogging up your time with these other men, how will the one you were made for be able to find you? Use this single time to really find out who you are..
There's too much to learn about yourself while you are single, and the more you put yourself in the path of these "maybe" men who don't have the same values that you have, you are going to allow them to convince you that you are not special, that you are not worth it, which can lower your self esteem and lead you to do the very thing you don't want to do, just to get them to stay. Enjoy your youth!
Plus, bad boys have no self control and no self respect. They are usually selfish and will play you in a hot minute especially if you are a virgin.. They'll trample all over your pearls without even a second thought-and then on to the next one. If you still find that you are attracted to this type of guy, that's even more reason to stay single and continue to grow as a woman. In time, you will find that the man who is worth your time is not at all a wild and arrogant one, but the same one that you are trying to avoid at this age.. All things change with time.. Good Luck!
preachhh!
Amen amen amen !!! You spoke to my heart, God bless you 💗💗💗💗
Let me tell you, I’m 30 a virgin who’s waiting until marriage and I really needed to hear all of this again. Dating is definitely challenging at this point but I don’t believe I’m waiting for nothing. Thanks for talking about this ladies!
Virginity in younger age is cherished, but after your SMV starts to decline (after 25), it can be a symptom of other issues. 😏😕
@@davidbolha SMV is an incel construct. People are humans, not 'sexual market value'.
@@kp361 No that's biology. Still doesn't dismisses my point. 😏
@@davidbolha Please learn to construct sentences before talking about 'biology'. No, women's 'SMV' doesn't go down at 30, and neither does men's 'SMV' go up. Everyone ages, we all die, some people are ugly from birth and some get better looking with age. Some people are infertile at 20 and others pop out babies at 40. There are patterns (one of them being that older men are less able to get a woman pregnant, btw) but there are no rules. So instead of writing this incel bullshit to make yourself feel better, try asking a girl out on a date.
@David Bolha
There’s no limit as when it’s cherished. Relationships and marriages can fall apart with or without sex.
As a 22 year old virgin, I have a very high respect for women who keep themselves. It shows self control which to me, is really attractive.
sometimes, even when you do give it up, dudes still say peace out because they only wanted that one thing. Better that those dudes left now instead of getting a piece of you and just running off
I don't believe in the term "Virginity" or the concept. It's an antiquated concept. People say "virgin" like you have some sort of disease that needs a cure. You are not giving anyone anything and no one is taking anything from you. Nothing in your body changes it is simply an experience (the hymen is a myth because it does not apply to every woman). You are simply having sex for the first time! Period. (consider those who were raped, LGBT etc). You are not special or better than anyone else if you choose or do not choose to have sex. Do you!! Life is about choices and conscious decision making. A woman or man should not follow the life script or society's pressure in order to feel valued. We should not "virgin shame" or "slut shame" because we are placing too much of an emphasis on a person's sexuality not their character as a human being. Besides just because you are having sex doesn't mean you are all-knowing about the topic or an adult (as far as I am concerned a real adult pays his/her own housing payments, car payments, and bills- that's what makes a real adult NOT having sex). Also just because a woman chooses not to engage in any sexual activity doesn't mean she is a prude. Why do people care about other people's sex lives anyway?? Damn now I'm mad.
I'm glad this comment is here. Everyone else seems to think that being a virgin is special and having premarital sex is bad...
MsDudette21 In this day and age, being a Virgin is special. in a society where sex is constantly being shoved down our throats, being a virgin is a very admirable thing. it shows strength, and most importantly self-respect. Which is something we should be teaching our younger generation, not introducing them to Kim Kardashian and the sexy songs we hear on the radio every day. We need to teach them about the important things in life, which is not include sex. we need to teach them to Value themselves and their bodies, and to not just throw that away to anybody. Like it or not, being a virgin is very special. having sex whenever and with whomever is fine, and I would never treat somebody differently because of that, but you can bet money that I will question their morals and self-respect.
WOW! Could not have said it any better myself ! This is the truth!
MsDudette21 It is special. Pre-martial sex is bad.
I'm 21 years old and still a virgin as well...this was extremely helpful. Another reason to love this show!!
i have so much respect for Jeannie &Tamera
Not everyone who is a virgin is christian. You don't have to be christian to be a virgin. Jesus christ isn't the only reason why women or men make the decision to be a virgin. Some people actually make the decision based on how they truly feel and are not influenced by religion.
Yeah, some virgins are virgins only cuz they are ugly. Some are too shy, I'm a virgin for 2 reasons, mainly because of religion [waiting for marriage to avoid fornication] , the other half because of ultra abnormal life situations....
Well Tamera was speaking for herself and that girl is probably a Christian too .
It is wonderful to live in a time where woman are taking their power back and saying "Hey, I will do what is best for me" whether that be going for it or abstaining from it. Whatever the decision is, it's because we are standing up and taking charge of our lives....I would personally like to hear more of all these woman that make this decision based on truly knowing themselves, knowing what they want and creating the life they want. It just seems to me that we always hear of christians doing this....because of their faith, purity or obedience, which is okay I aso want to hear of the others.
I believe in God and Christianity but I hate when people tell others to find a christian cause they won't do this "bad thing" or that "bad thing" there are plenty of unmarried Christians out here gettin it on..some of the even do it in church! Don't let it fool you lol I also agree that people should do what is best for them
I understand what you mean and you also have to watch out for them too. Fell free to check out my channel #proudvirgin20's
Thank you the real. For being the only talk show that doesn't look down or scrutinize virgins or Christian women who want to save themselves for marriage :)
I'm 18, almost 19 & still a virgin. and oh so proud of it. S/O to all the virgins still left in the world!
Every time I hear Tamera’s words of wisdom it reminds me of her struggle to find her voice. I remember her saying that she couldn't get a word in edgeways between her mum and her sister. It just goes to show that there are many people out there struggling to find their voice, whose views need to be heard and if some of the ones who were loud from the get go would pipe down they might learn a thing or two.
-I definitely don't think you should disclose that you're a virgin on the first date! That's something you discuss after you have gotten to know the person and see that there's a connection.
-And to be honest, why should anyone care about what the next person calls them regarding their sex life. It's none of their business! And I can't stand when men have the audacity to call women out of their names if they sleep around but get praise when they turn around and do the same thing! Live your life for you! Period.
It's tough because while you want to let the person know immediately in order to avoid wasting your time on them, I agree that it is TMI on the first date.
To be honest I think she needs to just stay single. I'm the same age as her and I feel like guys in their early 20's can't really do much/have much to offer besides sex. Either she does that or finds a guy that older and more mature who has been there and done that and who can understand her value as a young woman. Sex won't be the only thing on their mind, trust me.
I'm a 25 year old virgin and this talk was everything for me. I love this show
This is why I love Tamera so much, she literally has lived my life and so many other women who are virgins and are really trying to find the right guy. For all who are dealing with this, there is absolutely nothing wrong with you, believe that. #WifeMaterialAtAYoungAge You betta preach Tamera!
Tamera is always the voice if reason. Speak up girl. She's litteraly speaking my mind.
I had a guy break up with me because I want to remain a virgin until marriage. It's so hard navigating life as a young woman, let alone one who has made such a great commitment to herself. I think it's inspiring to see other women make the same choice and I pray strength and encouragement all over you. A worth while man will show up one day.
Not sleeping around doesn’t make you wife material. I just want to make that clear. Just date that match your lifestyle
I have been feeling so insecure bc i told a guy i was talking to that im a virgin and the next day he cancelled plans with me.. i always wondered why dont men like me whats wrong with me... this made me feel so much better about myself 🥰
my husband was 29 and when we married i took his and my brother in law is 28 and is still a virgin. my husbands friends range from 27 to 32 and they r virgins. waiting for marriage :)
nice
Tamera this is why i like you so much. You stick to your values no matter what anyone else says or thinks! A lot of people now a days succumb to peer pressure just to be cool. I waited till marrige and it was well worth the wait. So for thoes girls out there who want to wait then wait your virginity is precious dont just give it to anyone until your sure you found the right one.
Loni is great at advice and encouragement she just never opens up about herself.
I waited until I was 27 when I found someone who truly loved me and I loved back. So happy to have waited. In my opinion, it's not your age that matters so much as having a strong sense of self and finding someone who you really are connected to. It just so happens that it is more likely to take some time to achieve all of that but it's worth it.
Tamera is an embodiment of a good role model to the youth. She just says the bestest of things in her point of view. Clearly shows how she was raised and where she come from. ♥♥♥
I watched this video right after watching the video where they were talking about how if the guy doesn't want to have sex they would be offended and some even said something was wrong with him. They are representation of what is wrong with so many women in this country today.
The double standard is strong with them.
Amalgam X that's so true, I forgot about that clip. It is sad that people have the mindset. Coming from a female, it shouldn't be a problem if I heard a guy said he was a virgin or would wait.
I hope saving yourself till your married becomes a trend!! So glad Tamera is on this show.
i really needed to hear this, i love this panel of ladies! mostly the end "time to focus on yourself and guys come and go". I just ended something with a guy I've liked for 5 months and i kept chasing him and being lead on by him and i finally awoke to him being a waste of my time and he's not the one for me. we're both virgins so i thought he would admire that but clearly i wasn't worth his time so yes guys do come and go! we will all end up with the right person!
I don't think it matters when you tell them you're a virgin. That's something an individual can wait on. Now being celibate until marriage or simply planning on waiting a certain period of time is something you should knock out of the way early on.
Almost 42 myself just haven’t got round to it yet, but everyday I get closer to my first relationship.
I am a guy who turned 22 just 8 weeks ago and never even had a girlfriend before. I use dating apps and get few matches but get ghosted. Recently got 2 matches, one of them is 18 and another one is 20 turning 21 in April and they are sweet but still no plan of first date or anything. I also got rejected by 2 girls in my college few months ago.
I chat with some girls on Instagram whom I knew in my school days and they are within 19-22 age range. I chat with 3 of those girls so far. One of them is 19 almost 20, another one is 20 and another is 22. The 19 and the 22 year old doesn't chat regularly with me whereas the 20 year old does chat with me regularly but she gets a bit uncomfortable when I compliment her or something so I am too scared to even ask her out as she definitely doesn't seem to want anything more than just friends
thank you Tamera. if it wasn't for people like her I wouldn't feel comfortable in this world we live in. why is a big deal if I'm a virgin and I choose to be one until marriage. I mean I'm really young and I got more important things to think about than sex. even if it sound crazy people my age (13) have sex. and I'm just like I still love my stuffed animals what you doing spreading yo legs like I spread my butter. I feel like in this world we lost all self respect and values and as a Christian girl how is it OK for me to wanna be a better Christian and Catholic but yet I'm ignoring a certain sect of my beliefs. now I'm not hating on girls who don't wait cause come on I'm 13 I don't know everything but all I'm saying is that we should learn to appreciate what God gave us and learn self respect and self love. if we can love or respect ourselves and our bodies then how is any man or boy going to do that for us.
ADayInTheLifeOfLayla You're a very smart 13 year old!
Tamera has an anointing on her to speak to young women period. I use to feel so bad because all my friends in high school bragged about their sexual experiences. And I felt like I was being left behind. Everyone was growing up faster than me but, one day during my bible study I found Ecclesiastics 3:11 “He has made everything beautiful in its time.” And what I took away from that was there is a time for everything under heaven. Don’t rush the process instead enjoy the season of growth! If you do everything now, what is it about life & growing up that you have to look forward to if you’re acting grown at 15? You will bloom when the time is right- I promise you, you will bloom & you will be so thankful that you didn’t rush the process. That you didn’t jump off the cliff just because all your friends were jumping.
The girl should just focus on her studies and join the young adult club in her church. She's still young and she will find the right guy. Good luck to you Danielle!
You said it! As someone else has commented. A woman shouldn't be looking for a man. He should find her and she should make the decision as to whether to be with him or not, based on her beliefs Matt 6:33
I'm 21 and also a virgin. Never had a real relationship either...I don't go telling the guy I'm a virgin on the first date but within the first couple or so and I feel it is the right time I will let him know. More often than not this news doesn't work in my favor, but I'm beginning to be more confident and owning it. It has been extremely difficult, especially in college. I have felt like I wasn't good enough like Tamara and probably others have felt. Not many of my friends can really relate anymore either because it feels like I'm the last one standing. I just have to remind myself that everything happens for a reason. I appreciate Tamara's meaningful contributions to the discussions and value her viewpoint immensely. She is the real MVP!
I'm also a virgin in college. It would be nice if the guy I'm seeing was also a virgin but I understand that finding virgin men in their early 20s is hard to find these days. So if he's not a virgin he has to respect my decision to not have sex until marriage.
I love this ! It's very inspiring. I love that Loni, who is really out there, got serious and encouraged the girl. Great discussion ! :)
YEEEEEEEEES!!!! Finally! I am 23 and still a virgin and there is nothing wrong with that. I know what I want in life, once I walk across that stage and get my degree, once I travel the world and experience the joys of being devoted to a career I absolutely love and THEN marry my virgin husband where ever he is lol STAND PROUD FELLOW VIRGINS!!!! :D
Thank you Tamera for standing your ground and talking about this❤️
So if you are not a virgin when you get married, you're not wife material?
I understand where Tamera is coming from but that's a little insulting.
Being a virgin does not promise you a happy ending, just like not being a virgin doesn't promise you a happy ending and that's just being real.
Preach 100
It's true though if a girl is saving herself that's fine, but saying that she is wife material solely based on that is false. I understand Tamera's point and because she related to this girls situation but that is false to say. Being wife material is much more than just whether or not she is a virgin.
I don’t think that is what Tamara was saying. I think she said the girl is wife material because she isn’t just giving it up to everyone. If you are giving it up to everyone, you aren’t ready to settle down with one person and that’s fine. But if you are, it shows you are committed to one person which is what also happens in a marriage. I don’t think what she said was meant to be insulting, but i can see how it might’ve been seen that way.
20 y-o virgin here...just what i needed to hear to reassure myself that waiting is not in vain. Stay strong, loves!! We are wife material!!
I can totally relate to this. Tamera really tug at my heart strings.
I love Tamera so much ❤️ She's so inspirational and helpful. I'm a 21 year old virgin and waiting till marriage
people really shouldn't judge people who are sexually adventurous or celibate. yes waiting to find the one is all good and dandy but in all honesty, sex is overrated and people take it too seriously like loosing your virginity is some kind of spiritual awakening, its not lol tbh there are not a lot of guys who are virgins because society pressures them to get it in whenever they can. a womans sexuality and sexual partners shouldn't determine what kind of guy she gets or if shes "wife material" theres such a double standard when it comes to that.
Yes I cringed at that wife material comment... just because she's abstaining from sex does not make her wife material. A guy should love you for who u are...Tamar and Jeannie and Adrienne are perfect examples...u mean to tell me they aren't wife material because they didn't abstain from sex before marriage. Its sort of degrading. Im not bashing her I just wish she would have chosen better words for it.
912nelle exactly, like i like Tamera but she was wrong for that comment and when she said "guys dont want girls that sleep with everybody" i mean just because she held out for 100 years doesn't mean everyone else has to.lol girls that sleep with a lot of guys aren't hoes. if thats the case every guy in this world is a hoe. theres too many double standards out there. if im being honest Tamera isn't the best person to take advice from, this is the woman who cried when she saw a stripper lmao
Jiggly JelloJay
I've always said that every guy is a hoe lol.
JayJay Nicola B. But a man wouldn't even know about that unless a woman volunteers that information... and that very same man does not see himself in that same light as not worthy when he is having sex with Jane, Mary, and Susan and whomever else he pleases....it works both ways...
Preach! It's really not a big deal.
1:24 The girl who points out her male friend for being a "virgin" on national tv 😂😂😂😭😭 I can't
yes, I think it is excellent to find a man or women that is evenly yoked. especially, when you are a virgin and all the other people want is to get in your pants. but you have to learn to keep the faith and keep your belief that a guy that has the same views as you will come. Let the Lord guide you. The Lord has a guy waiting for you and it is all in due time. right now, focus on studies and enjoy life. Having a relationship can wait.
Tamera is the best one. she's always so sensible and smart.