👋🏻Hiya all! Hope you enjoyed the video! Let me know your experience with divorce being filed! 🚨Come join my NEW Relationship Bootcamp! be.ultranormal.co/relationship-bootcamp?YTE119& - Chris
7:45 "motivation" but is it a stumble? the whole point of it is to be the partner they desired. if you do the things and they're still not happy, there's only one factory - you.
I think that the whole point is not to be the partner they desired, but to be the best version of yourself, which is ultimately what your partner wants too. For example, a lot of people think they want a rich partner but what they really want is to feel safe & secure, or they want someone that has the same taste in music as them, but what they really want is to feel understood in *their* taste in music. This is why so many people in relationships grow resentment because they do everything their partner says they want and their partner is still not happy. It's because you're hitting the lowest possible bar (ie. the things that they are saying out loud, not necessarily the things they want deeper down) If you continue to grow yourself, you can become the best version of you and as an emergence of that grow the connection between you both and start to cultivate the deeper compatibility.
@@BeUltranormal but thats what im saying. The partner thinks and says they want xyz. Im not xyz. They werent happy before when i wasnt xyz and still werent when i became xyz. "Cant change other people" So then what.
Because when you change in the ways that actually cultivate emotional safety, intellectual intimacy and goal synergy, then the surface level things that we *think* matter start to fade away and the value that *matters* shines through. It's never the things people *think* they want in a partner (eg. same taste in music, money, gym body etc...) it's the ability to build a deep connection. It's the same reason why you can go to a car showroom and a sleazy salesman shows you the car you said you want, but you don't trust him, so you don't buy. But you can go to another showroom with someone who you connect with, get along with and build a deep connection with, even if it may not be the car you initially want, you decide to buy something different from them.
That’s exactly what he said to me! It’s too late, not for me, you won’t change, I don’t believe you, I am scared of you, you are toxic to me .. etc … I need your help, I am one of the woman’s who is the one not wanting the divorce.
👋🏻Hiya all! Hope you enjoyed the video! Let me know your experience with divorce being filed!
🚨Come join my NEW Relationship Bootcamp! be.ultranormal.co/relationship-bootcamp?YTE119&
- Chris
Yes this is me
7:45
"motivation"
but is it a stumble?
the whole point of it is to be the partner they desired.
if you do the things and they're still not happy, there's only one factory - you.
I think that the whole point is not to be the partner they desired, but to be the best version of yourself, which is ultimately what your partner wants too.
For example, a lot of people think they want a rich partner but what they really want is to feel safe & secure, or they want someone that has the same taste in music as them, but what they really want is to feel understood in *their* taste in music. This is why so many people in relationships grow resentment because they do everything their partner says they want and their partner is still not happy. It's because you're hitting the lowest possible bar (ie. the things that they are saying out loud, not necessarily the things they want deeper down)
If you continue to grow yourself, you can become the best version of you and as an emergence of that grow the connection between you both and start to cultivate the deeper compatibility.
@@BeUltranormal but thats what im saying.
The partner thinks and says they want xyz.
Im not xyz.
They werent happy before when i wasnt xyz and still werent when i became xyz.
"Cant change other people"
So then what.
Because when you change in the ways that actually cultivate emotional safety, intellectual intimacy and goal synergy, then the surface level things that we *think* matter start to fade away and the value that *matters* shines through.
It's never the things people *think* they want in a partner (eg. same taste in music, money, gym body etc...) it's the ability to build a deep connection.
It's the same reason why you can go to a car showroom and a sleazy salesman shows you the car you said you want, but you don't trust him, so you don't buy. But you can go to another showroom with someone who you connect with, get along with and build a deep connection with, even if it may not be the car you initially want, you decide to buy something different from them.
That’s exactly what he said to me! It’s too late, not for me, you won’t change, I don’t believe you, I am scared of you, you are toxic to me .. etc … I need your help, I am one of the woman’s who is the one not wanting the divorce.
@@DvO82 did anything change from dating to marriage?
Are you considerate or chronically cirtical?