You Don’t Really Know the People You Deal With I Robert Greene
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- Опубликовано: 2 окт 2024
- Robert Greene is the author of the New York Times bestsellers The 48 Laws of Power, The Art of Seduction, The 33 Strategies of War, The 50th Law, Mastery, The Laws of Human Nature, and most recently, The Daily Laws.
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To be far, most people don’t even really know themselves.
i do boo
Exactly
Most folks are sadly merely surface lvl & our society actually promotes surface lvl perspective thinking BS. Instead of true critical thinking & diving deep beyond the mere surface lvl. Hell telling folks to actually look at themselves in the mirror might as well be some sorta new hate speech from the way folks be defensively reacting
Bingooooo ❤
@@TYRONE-kh9zn100%
Listen, really listen, ask questions, watch patterns❤
Yes, but how many people have the disposition or the time for that...but I totally agree with you ❤
I'm meeting my sisters new boyfriend soon I will definitely be analyzing everything @@rodicapepescu4599
@@rodicapepescu4599 said like a truly impatient person who loves to excuse their behavior
@@elisemiller13 eliseee dear you are in hurry to make judgements I see, you should know I wasn't talking about myself, I listen actually and pay close attention because I'm not a kid anymore. But you still have a lot to learn it seems
Soon, there is going to be the rapture. It's when there will be trumpet sounds, and after the trumpet sounds, God will lift his people from here. Also, God said people should be living by the Bible. Amen, and God bless you.
1.
❤* John 3:16 - "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him shall not perish but have eternal life". ❤
“Be quick to listen, and slow to speak…”
The good book
I'm usually that way in person with other people
I also have quick empathetic connections with other people, and that's why I now know and understand why I'm kept away from others unlike me.
I'm the love your neighbor type
@@anaibarangan4908 You're basically just talking and talking about yourself when no one asked. You probably need to listen more and make it less about you
I'm the conquer and deceive you type.
"The fact is that a man who wants to act virtuously in every way necessarily comes to grief among so many who are not virtuous."
-Machiavelli
We don't see people as they are we see them as we are. Seeing requires more than eyes.
Painful to admit but yes if you've been betrayed by your own family you can never trust people and you keep yourself guarded in the slightest sign of betrayal or even before it. Of course that doesn't mean people don't turn on you any chance they got. Sometimes just because it's fun no other reason at all. These really go hand in hand 😢
Appreciate the colours of the soul & maybe listen others without judging, then you could know them. But it looks quite mastery 🔅
I’m reminded of the chicken & egg problem. It seems we can only learn about the world through others before we attempt to have others see it through ours. Seeing does require more than eyes but I don’t think we see them as we are exactly. It’s the concert of both that ultimately unify what we see or others see. In the end, we see. But even then we don’t.
Or, we see them as we want them to be ...
It requires seeing the truth and not what we’d like to see. Only then will you see people’s true colors
The trauma part is so correct . It can make someone act different than they are . I’m finding that out quick.
Its a very wise statement....projecting our own images.
Anyone knows the title of the full video?
Every one has their own perception about you. Nobody knows the real you except God. Even you have a perception of you which might be incorrect.
@@waleedimtiaz9994precisely, which is why an aspect of our nature includes curiosity; other wise, why would we value knowledge, or our ability to apply knowledge in practicality. Why do we like building and categorizing and collecting? Memories, relationships, financial pursuits, personal goals; we are simply searching for, defining, and finding out who we are ourselves; as such, how could we possibly expect to duly and completely know someone else? When our knowledge, perspectives, physical form, and mental capabilities are all known to be limited, how could we possibly assert to know anyone or anything as truly?
Cognitive distortion
There is no reality without projecting your own understanding onto it
“Always assume the person you’re doing business with is trying to rip you off because most likely they are and if they aren’t, you can be pleasantly surprised.” -Steve Martin as Julian Dell
How do u operate like this without putting people in negative boxes and thinking the worst of others constantly? It doesn't seem like a good way to live, seems rather soul sucking, tho it doesn't serve to be gullible either but ijdk how can one achieve the balance in being wary without being paranoid and pessimistic
@@getgot3461 that’s a great concern. And that all comes down to protecting your downside. I get paid before services are delivered and not after. The second I spot a red flag with a woman, I’m gone. And if I get the feeling a friend, is not looking after my best interest, I cut them off. This is probably why I love my life and the people I surround myself with, and I’m not complaining about this disloyalty, cheating, jealous friends, etc. Your time, attention and affection is the most important thing in the entire world. I don’t want you to waste it.
@@getgot3461The solution is simply to unsugar coatedly understand actual reality & the nature of man or us humans. Which literally says or strongly indicates that the average person in general is a selfish lil piece of crap that is out for themselves or themselves & small circle who also sadly on average can't be trusted like that. Or the basic fact that we live in a world where man has adopted ideologies such as it's a dog eat dog world bc it actually is & why is it so? Bc man has willingly adopted it for himself. Long story short unsugar coatedly facing & understanding the true nature of things in general usually clears up the confusion as well as allows one to see & move objectively accordingly. Instead of holding on to & moving off of ones own subjective right or wrong personal opinions & feelings
@@getgot3461it is hard but with practice you can train yourself to just keep reflecting until you hit that point of neutrality with yourself like , " does how I perceive this situation actually matter, and if so what will solve my situation, be as direct to yourself and others as possible once you realise what you need, always show consideration of others and their time and you will earn the necessary respect to help solve your problems and have the trust in you that you can solve theirs too
That's a pretty bad example. You have to trust people in order to live a fulfilling life. However, if they don't have integrity, you are not responsible for that.
Wise advice for narcissists who need to break free. The empath needs to be very careful when relating to others pain. The challenge is compartmentalization in the pain of others.
You are so correct. I didn't know any of my family and none of them knew me.
Got evil bastards in my 'family'
Yep. I too have a few evil siblings.@yeldarleumas1847
Especially if they do not know themselves. That is even more terrifying
This is a terrifying but also relieving piece of wisdom. Thank you Robert i have never been so self aware before since i started watching you're videos i have been able to navigate relationships with family and people in general im grateful to be able to learn more and more from you also the way you deliver in a captivating way. Much appreciated and best wishes.
Appreciate your positive reply. This negativity was off putting for me, but I still retain the message.
I identify with you. Be brave 💕🙏🏻🫶🏻
Yes. Terrifying is a good word.
✨👍🏼✨
The more you think you know you find that you really don't know! "Man know thyself " most important!
Saying "I don't know" is more powerful than we think
Think about it. The ONLY person you can rely on is YOURSELF. Period.
I think the message here is more about how much (or little) you engage in getting to actually know you're closest, and yourself in a way.. not that much about how many you can rely on.. maybe we all felt more trust if we actually knew the people closest to us better❤❤❤ Important message i think ❤❤❤️
Wasn't the point...
Self knowledge and self maturity......yes😮
Sadly..this is not the idea of this video clip !...
My uncle said you will never know everything about your wife. Get over it. Some things she will take to her grave and vice versa. 😊
He's a superb author. A modern intellectual
I was listening this 40 times and finally wrote the essential message down and understood. Thanks 🙏
It is so refreshing to actually see and hear a good psychologist. There are so many quacks out there, i have been very unlucky with counselers.
Has Robert Greene ever had a discussion with Jordan Peterson?? I’d love to watch it. If so, someone please tell me where to find it.
Robert, you are so right. 35 years & I actually believe I know him less now, than I did in the beginning 😮
We do know them based on their actions… if they’re hurt u in obvious ways, neglect, ridicule, overly critical , we know them
I try my best to never make assumptions of other people but rather get to know them and understand their way to see things. I always been like this cause we all have problems and we all want to bee seen, heard, felt so I always do my best to offer that to others
I don't know how about other people,but when i see a person,my first impression turns to be correct later on. Their behavioural patern show i was right most of the time
Cos you manifested it to be that way - your thoughts create reality! Test it out for your self and see
@@richrich2862 no I did not. They prove it by themselves.
Totally. Because gut instinct is always right
shrooms🍄✨ helped me see and accept people for who they really are. when unconscious, they are just playing the role they're given in this life. awareness allows us to transform and detach
We see things from our own perspective - but we can expand that, by stop judging people and listen more to each other ☺️
people with authority are a big chain in jobs. many are not pleased to work with nonexperienced ,or hate facing workers with great skills becoming a danger for their career. Authority and managerial behaviour is a real art.ciao from italy.
See people and things as they are and understand them, remove the bias you have or filters you have acquired over time 🙏🏼
I like this guy. Very wise.
So true. Subconsciously driven. It’s driving the vehicle not our conscious mind.
This is why I now keep to myself. People are too shady.
Many are Narcissists.
Seek and be understanding, because understanding is always better than assuming, and knowing is better than believing. But completely understanding another human being is essentially impossible.
That’s why communication is key ! Deep Listening and Honesty! I always have to tell my boyfriend “I don’t need you to give me advice or try to fix this”. Just listen to me . If I want advice or help I’ll ask after and be very clear about what I want. No person can be exactly “in your shoes”. We do t know what someone is feeling and yes we all project images onto other people. GREAT VIDEO!
That's now how it works, people don't give you advice don't give a poo about you
So true. Transference and Projection, and Displace anger.
I chose to see the good on people, don't let anyone use divisions and fears to lock you in yourself. Life is beautiful experience it with all has to offer.
I agree
You feel who they are...If it feels trash it is trash
Gut feeling..yes
He's correct ...so what he should be saying is get your mind sorted before letting someone
Correct. This means … before letting someone sort our minds for us.
@@Lily_faith227 yes😊😊
Well some people project more than others..
Knowing one’s own tendency to project, or not, will help you be more accurate.
Also assessing how much another person is projecting is useful too.. usually the more immature, ambitious, any strong emotional state or fragility will increase projections..
You’re right.
Some people think that just because they know about my past, that that automatically gives them some sort of clever insight into who I am - it doesn’t!
I’m much more than a stupid background check - believe me.
Very true, we think we know people, but we never know them
People are like light switches... they can turn on you in a heartbeat... we all have it in us.
Got these people in my so called 'family'
Damn I felt that statement in my soul
Yes. And this video speaks to why...conversation could be so much more than small talk. If we really are interested in who the other person is, and seek to know more than or own projections.
No amount of conversation matters!!!!!! And no matter how well you listen to others. And ask good questions. And you have great self knowledge. Work with them. Live with them for years. NO ONE REALLY KNOWS ANYONE ELSE!!!! Brother or sister. Parents. Kids. Sponse. You don’t know them! And they don’t know you!!
😅
@@richardfadle5921 I don't know about that
Thank you! 🤗 You can't change anything in your life if you start with a wrong attitude, but if you change your attitude and the way you look at things, everything changes automatically! 🎉
STOP projecting, msg for good people out there!!
Doesn't work in some families. Everybody has ego problems. Me me me. Tried for a long time.
@@livelearn06livelearn86and those me me me are immature ones, because they can't learn and evolve spiritually if they only care about themselves all the time
Soooooo true 😮 it was 10 years before I KNEW who my husband was! Not joking! He lived a double life ! Cheating freak face Narcissist that he is
Exactly I've thought this for years, do you ever know anyone, and then when they die you don't know where they go,am i all wrong here, thanks,
Life helps you grow and learn, but thinking the way u explain is going to make u hate everyone.
Excepting no matter what ,
gives you freedom, and peace
U don't have to mingle.
U will never understand urself, let alone anyone else.
Just see life differently by excepting.
Keep urself improving instead of concentrating on someone else.
Being considerate and learn from mistakes.
But walking on egg shells, noone can live like that
.
Stop blaming ur childhood
It's not always that.
Children are very resilient.
It's mistakes in adulthood that makes u insecure
Look
Life ia like wearing a new pair of shoes 👞
If it hurts ir don't fit. .
Dont buy or wear them.
This man's life's outlook on life is dark.
Just live
Stop judging
My last relationship made me realize this is true! He was always projecting. It was extremely confusing. He was living in his past. It was very sad.
@victoriagargano8332 What's your current status.....?
Keep the faith. You will prevail. 🙏🏻💕
Shitmhappens
Maybe..... but you do it as well. There aren't exceptions
Oh I understand what I'm dealing with ..their patterns show me
Sometimes even a lifetime is not enough to know someone and sometimes (rarely) all it takes a moment to know someone.
This has to be the most accurate piece of information to be spoken by someone that I totally agree that makes so much sense....
Ironically, this advice from Robert in less than a minute, is more valuable and PRACTICAL than all the psychologists talking online 👏
There are some parallels. Projecting parts of yourself you don't like onto others is what Carl Jung called the shadow self.
What value did you gain from it exactly? Was it ("dont piss off people in positions of authority")?
@@velvetbeesdo you even know what you are talking about?
TRUTH✨✨✨
I removed myself from a lot of people & places after realizing this TRUTH✨✨✨
Probably realized,true Narcissist behavior
You can think you know someone your whole life long and then realize at the very end, that you never knew them at all, or they you.
So true parents be thinking they know their children
The things I’ve done with other girls in the past and their parents will have them in church on a Sunday thinking she’s a virgin.
@@RevealedFilms "The thing you have done with other girls" as a boy or as their bff.
@RevealedFilms wait til you have daughters
Mr Greene is so Right!😊
You can actually know them based on consistent patterns of behaviour
We may understand how to deal in better way, but that doesn't mean we know them fully
@ABQ... just cause someone is an ass too you. We know they an ass. We don't know why but they stll an ASS. Projection orn not
Following your gut is usually the key. Our intuition can be "off" especially if it's programmed to look at only the negatives and not the positives (and vice-versa), but it's also best to be safe than sorry. Especially if it's a higher stakes situation.
What's the difference between gut intensity & intuition?
@@ccbluesky9780gut is felt, intuition is thought
@@ccbluesky9780 To me they both sound the same.
I believe we all possess good gut feelings & good intuition agree both quite similar must listen to them especially when can't stop thinking samething that keeps popping into your head all the time. Sometimes question all as trust huge.
You are spot on!
This & my now exiting Narc husband make me want to LIVE ALONE & JUST BE A NUN
I say this all the time I swear we don't know anyone no matter how long you think we know them.
I now understand it's all about projecting your own images / trauma. Nobody can see us for who we truly are not even ourselves.
It's really all in our mind 😢 profoundly simple
its all part of the computer game called life
I like this man. he just makes sense.
What a great spirit Greene has.
What a great spirit you've always had.
do you really know him though? 😄
I absolutely adore him ❤
My personal Jimity Cricket
That's one of the reasons being self aware is super important. Once you accept this truth, you start asking people more questions about their experiences and listening, watching, observing.
What a calming voice coming out of a real calm persom
The average person thinks they have less enemies than they do. The Godel's Incompleteness Theorem of Personal Vendettas.
Yes, eventhough we have siblings, relatives and friends ,and associates we don't know all their experiences they had in their lives which contributes to their life,s views .
When I was younger, I was often seen as Miss Goody Two Shoes. For quite a while, I tried to make myself more likable by drinking or simply agreeing with others. I have a tendency to see the positive in people even when their actions don't reflect it, and I tend to place people on a pedestal. Unfortunately, many of the men I was involved with ended up leaving because they didn't want to live up to this ideal. They grew weary of trying to be the good person I saw in them and eventually gave up.
You are pedastalizing people. No one can live up to that pressure. Check your co-dependency. Lots of material for free
It’s great that you’ve now become self aware. That’s the step towards working on it. Goodluck on your journey
Honestly people don't want to be or do better at least most 🤷 I somewhat relate as I'm someone who had to learn the hard way everyone doesn't think like I do even when that is something good kind and positive 😅😢
@Clevelandsteamer324 I generally agree but I'd like to specify it by saying it should be normal to expect of people to be kind trustworthy and faithful even though that's not the case most of the time I think we were brought up to believe society want and can do better once again we've been deceived from the get go thank you parents you failed me 😢
@@annaisis7510sad face emoji, pity party crap. Sickening
Ironically, most people in here are wicked and hypocritical yet pretend that they’re the good ones. If they honestly checked themselves, they’d find real quick that they were just playing the ignoring game on their wicked sides.
Yup. This is why i think they are all out to get me
They are so keep your guard up. Thankfully most of them arent smart enough and too impulsive so what they want is clear. If they want attention/they are gossiper back stabbers/if they want money they are filled with drama galore ready to bring it to your world. People also tell on themselves ive noticed when you first meet them. "people always got rid of me or threw me away! they said i talked too much!" THis is used like they're a victim when theres a huge reason this happened and they are surprised you're giving them a chance. Take that info and save yourself the agony of future misery
Just remember adult bullying is real, best to ignore it the best you can, and focus more on loving yourself. This is coming from decades of learning and growing from abuse. Feel sorry for people, and no matter how bad they try to make you feel .. remember who you are, and what you deserve. We cannot change how people act. We can only change how we react. So just don't. Loss is hard, yet it's more difficult when we allow others to make us lose focus on what really matters, our peace.
Yeah it’s tough. I am weary of new people who come into my life. But stay wise like a serpent, gentle like a dove. It’s a hard battle to fight knowing who is for you, time and actions will prove that though.
Well,look for the red flags,,you are probably dealing with MILIGNANT narcissists. Run for the hills before they get you. Look at Narcdaily videos. Get some insight about these toxic people..
@arizonadreaming4183 two days ago,,my husband said something me that was far from being in my mind,just trying to share the driving,,we were coming from a long journey and still had many more hundreds of miles to drive ,and i knew he was tired,after the fiasco of words,,, I was thinking,,the more your try and do good to people,,you end up feeling like the fool...and wondering what just happened?
You are right Robert Greene. What we take to be true is based upon our perception. Our perception is based on what we believe. What we believe is our reality.
......and what we want to believe.
He’s saying, projections are Not reality and if you don’t become aware of your projections, you aren’t living in reality; you’re living in made up beliefs in your mind. He’s Not saying that whatever you believe is actual reality.
If you don't lie, cheat or scam ,you don't expect others to do so, it's always a surprise when you figure someone out..
.
Let us just assume that he is only 75% correct. If you think that you know the most important people in your life, you are most likely less than 5% correct. My own family decided when I was very young that I was the black sheep of our family because after years of being ignored and physically abused, I began to act out, but I never harmed anyone other than myself in hopes that they would see the damage they were doing. Now, as a father, I remind myself to take a step back and realize that I may not fully understand my own children, and I earnestly try to explore their behaviours before my children feel as desperate as I felt.
Humans are way too complex and unique to be understood
Most people don’t know themselves or want to so of course other people are a mystery.
Generational curses
Sometimes cause these issues
You need to do the work and
Good results will prosper
Trust & believe
Best wishes
If people with power and authority do not try to control others and you can be yourself with them, I am okay.
If they show me a different picture of themselves then how come that they don't believe the picture of me that I'm presenting to them
So true you don’t know anyone and you don’t know what goes on behind closed doors.
You have Andrew Tate… Joe Rogan… Tony Robbins….. then This guy. Idc what people think but this guy has a unique perspective that we can learn so much from. Each person we hear today, brings their own interpretation of wisdom… yet it’s wise. If we can take nuggets from this and that one… and actually apply them, we would be a powerhouse of a person
All those people you mentioned are not authors of books like Green
@@Clevelandsteamer324 I’m a bit of a writer myself. I can appreciate this man’s perspective for sure
Andrew Tate 😂
That's true , we don't know anyone really.
It's true that is why I study a course in miracles. We see everything through the eyes of the past
Amen 🙏❤
Very excellent
I feel like we don’t project onto others as much as he’s saying here. If you hate authority because of a childhood experience that isn’t projection. If you think fire might burn you because you’ve been burned before, no one would say you’re projecting onto the fire.
My father did not like me. I went to catholic boarding school where we were abused. I have extreme hatred for authority.
I have the best relationship with my wife and kids. Not all abused people turn into abusers
I LOVE THIS BROTHER 💋💋💋💋
And this is why you need self awareness and empathy when you're interacting with any living thing in this world.
But empaths are the targets of Narcissist,,you have light that they lack or don't have,,they hate you for that..
@@MattyNelson-rs3ik I'm an empath. As I've matured, self awareness has allowed me to monitor my own feelings and emotions while still connecting with others. As you become more self aware you'll recognize things that make you feel off, and you'll trust it without second guessing yourself. That feeling allows you to remove yourself from that person without being drained. I speak from personal experience.
in healthy personal relationships, you have each other's backs and you each compensate for what the other is lacking. might not be 100% success, but you make it better, rather than nitpick and make it worse
He seems to be doing some projecting himself there... Speak for yourself, buddy.
If you’re worried about offending people, than you’re worried about the wrong person.
Very true... even your children. You don't know the people you are dealing with...
We can SEE The FACES, Nut We Can't SEE The HEARTS!!
Man died to his Ability to see The Spiritual the day Adam sinned !
This is the reality of projection of fears and emotional triggers and self protection amygdala etc, and existential isolation which it’s actually impossible to close that gap.
There are millions of people who have done & continue to do the hard work of cultivating emotional/psychological healing, growing, maturity, discernment, awareness & critical & complex thinking skills.
Open communication is freely given & received in our family. We LIKE KNOWING the REAL each other. Encourage REAL TALK. Its a blessing and can be ROF funny...❤
Generational Curse is exactly WHY we share TOTALLY. We LEARNED from that sh*t !!!!!!!
It isn't about childhood experiences as most peoples thought off but RATHER NOT ABLE TO GROW UP AND GROW OUT OF ONE'S LIMITED COMFORT ZONE OR LIMITED THINKING..Don't blame on childhood experiences as the EXCUSES..If one kept on doing that ..It showed one still stuck in children mentality in ADULTS appearances..Period..
This is very true....THANKS 4 SHARING.
I tend to do this with people of a higher social class than me, here in the UK, class is a big divider but I rend to think that people from certain privelidged backgrounds are instantly looking down on me or will reject me
In my experience, I suggest you trust your gut feeling when looking into their eyes
Facts!!!!🤨
I agree on this.
Catching people's micro expressions when you sneak up on them is shocking.
"You don't even realize that you offended them." I'm NOT GONNA tiptoe around someone because they have "authoritative parental issues" or try to "know them" that badly. If they can't do a mutually respect relationship, that's not my problem. Next!
I'm 62, and I honestly had that same thought or opinion for the last 20 years so so.
It’s based on philosophical precepts that people have written about for 1000’s of years.
I was raised by narcissistic psychopaths. You learn how to gauge them from quite a young age, as it is a matter of survival…..you develop instincts for protecting yourself.
So when I am near such people, don’t tell me I don’t ‘know them’! Not everyone develops that skill, and his talk may be for them?
Example; Back in 1966, my sister dated Robert Benjamin Smith. He wasn’t a ‘mass murderer’…..yet. I usually would tease her boyfriends when they would come calling…..but this dude was different. I peeked around the front door as he was coming into the house, to size up my quarry…..I got such a chill when our eyes locked! Apparently, he was ‘sizing up his quarry’! I ran to my bedroom and locked the door…..I was shaking…..I didn’t understand what just happened. I just felt really scared…..like the devil just entered our home…..but he looked ‘normal’ enough.
A short time later, they called my sister to be a character witness in court…..he had shot and killed several women and some children, at Rose-Mar Beauty Salon in Mesa, Arizona. To read his story, he was looking for who he would kill, as he wanted to be remembered for killing the largest amount of people at one time. It was said that he apparently went to the salon too early, as there was usually around 40 people there on a good day.
My ‘spidey senses’, from growing up around the narcissistic psychopaths that I did, were obviously maxing out when I looked in his eyes.
On a deeper level, I KNEW something was definitely ‘off’ about him…..so I reacted on that.
So, this guy in this video can keep his advice for himself where I am concerned…..I’ll listen to my own ‘gut’ about people, before I shut down my instincts to suit this dude! I say, ALWAYS trust your gut! It could cost you your life if you ignore it.
Live life. Life I mean not mine, not yours but life itself. So much of analysis leads to nothing. Simply be open and face it. Do not think. Just live.
Ok, wingnut, people can actually *know* one another. It's not an easy process, but it is very possible and very real.
We see people they way WE WANT TO SEE THEM- through our perceptions, not as they are