Even Jesus made an MP3 player...

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  • Опубликовано: 27 дек 2024

Комментарии • 5 тыс.

  • @thejesuschrist
    @thejesuschrist 2 года назад +19891

    Holy shit! Even I can't believe this is actually a thing.

    • @xbaumann
      @xbaumann 2 года назад +1018

      My lord…

    • @mrplumpkin_x3c
      @mrplumpkin_x3c 2 года назад +3

      shit? such an unchristian language you are using. despicable

    • @Vastide
      @Vastide 2 года назад +443

      Jesus Christ!!

    • @crabcakes5346
      @crabcakes5346 2 года назад +512

      my heavenly father forgive this man of his grave sin my lord jesus may he be saved n' shit yadda yadda in jesus' name amen

    • @JrIcify
      @JrIcify 2 года назад +388

      You really need to look these things over before signing off on them

  • @evertonc1448
    @evertonc1448 2 года назад +4294

    "Hopefully I didn't offend anyone"
    His excuse: "I'm Aussie"
    Literally anyone: "pardoned"

    • @angrydragonslayer
      @angrydragonslayer 2 года назад +147

      "you are already in prison"

    • @WESELY_CARTIER
      @WESELY_CARTIER 2 года назад +7

      Ye you right

    • @apoletestry3766
      @apoletestry3766 2 года назад +67

      Correct.
      I am Aussie so I can confirm.
      That Flat Earther's think our country dosen't actually exist.
      Because The Flat Map of earth stretches Australia out so much that it's unrecognisable.

    • @TheSolBlader
      @TheSolBlader 2 года назад +1

      I mean at least he's not br*tish 🤢

    • @blakksheep736
      @blakksheep736 2 года назад +7

      @@apoletestry3766 Love it.

  • @justasidequestnpc6396
    @justasidequestnpc6396 2 года назад +5073

    as a religious person, dank screaming in terror at the size of the bible is one of the best things i have ever seen

    • @Mario_mit_barth
      @Mario_mit_barth 2 года назад +49

      Agreed

    • @wretch1300
      @wretch1300 2 года назад +233

      And being hesitant to blow up the stinkbuds with the Diablo. One of the best channels ever.

    • @andrewkemp6477
      @andrewkemp6477 2 года назад +11

      Haha yes!

    • @TheBlargMarg
      @TheBlargMarg 2 года назад +111

      The size of the Bible displayed two chapters on a screen. It would take a lifetime to find the specific verse on that dinky display.

    • @Bane_Amesta
      @Bane_Amesta 2 года назад +51

      @@wretch1300 holy crap the fact he used the diablo to destroy such holy headphones, Jesus would not approve (?)

  • @mermanhellville
    @mermanhellville 2 года назад +1831

    Damn it bro Genesis cranked out way more albums than I thought

    • @Jakek200
      @Jakek200 2 года назад +23

      Underrated comment

    • @someguyonyoutube9279
      @someguyonyoutube9279 2 года назад +82

      Phil Collins be workin overtime

    • @lsswappedcessna
      @lsswappedcessna 2 года назад +26

      @@someguyonyoutube9279 and don't forget Peter Gabriel during early Genesis

    • @abnormalanorak
      @abnormalanorak Год назад +18

      ​@@lsswappedcessnaWhat about Mike Rutherford, Anthony Banks and Steve Hackett?
      Also shoutouts to Richard Hammond, he knows what he likes - in his wardrobe, that is!

    • @lsswappedcessna
      @lsswappedcessna Год назад +12

      @@abnormalanorak Yeah, man they all deserved their share of recognition. The band wouldn't have been the same without them.

  • @luismontano8549
    @luismontano8549 2 года назад +5093

    The idea of blowing up the Jesus Buds with the "Diablo", is absolutely hilarious.

    • @DatFluffyBoi
      @DatFluffyBoi 2 года назад +100

      Was looking for this comment exactly lol

    • @NEEDbacon
      @NEEDbacon 2 года назад +194

      It's oddly fitting in a way. Guess Jesus saved his loudest of volumes for his dirtiest of buds.

    • @ashkitt7719
      @ashkitt7719 2 года назад +16

      I was gonna thumbs up but it's at 333

    • @luismontano8549
      @luismontano8549 2 года назад +120

      I gotta get this off my chest. My first comment was going to be
      " don't worry about blowing up the Jesus Buds, mate. In some religions, even the people blow up."
      But alright, I thought that might be a bit much. So I hid it in the comments so less people see it airtight. DON'T CANCEL ME.

    • @doxypony
      @doxypony 2 года назад +24

      @@luismontano8549 foul 💀💀💀

  • @ukhedgehog-043-4
    @ukhedgehog-043-4 2 года назад +842

    I like how the buttons are shaped in a cross or T type figure, really gives of the holy feels.

    • @dragonboy4273
      @dragonboy4273 2 года назад +1

      Right!

    • @Arbiter099
      @Arbiter099 2 года назад +10

      If only the screen was more than 2 lines

    • @Yipper64
      @Yipper64 2 года назад +1

      Oh yeah, because wasnt it a thing that Jesus was most likely crucified on a crucifix that was just a T?

    • @foxxy46213
      @foxxy46213 2 года назад

      Was just ganna say the same...wonder if it still works on vampires

    • @MDG509_
      @MDG509_ 2 года назад +1

      It kinda looks a bit… inappropriate. Or maybe I need to get my mind out of the gutter.

  • @bromanus7742
    @bromanus7742 2 года назад +3672

    Being a Catholic theologian, I honestly couldn’t stop laughing at the screaming about the infinite number of books and chapters in the Bible. Loved this video

    • @benji7577
      @benji7577 2 года назад +190

      As a person who grew up reading the Bible and went to Catholic and Christian schools all my life, this was equally the funniest thing in the entire world😂 “WAIT GENESIS 1 👹👹👹”

    • @sebascc007
      @sebascc007 2 года назад +8

      Same here

    • @MoChuang343
      @MoChuang343 2 года назад +99

      My man needs to scroll through Psalms next time…missed opportunity. Although the video may end there after he loses his voice from screaming.

    • @matj12
      @matj12 2 года назад +27

      I know how many books and chapters there are, and I thought “duh”. Although I think that the programmer could make better navigation, like that the lists would be in two columns, which would double the number of items shown on the screen and double the scrolling speed.

    • @hyperball01
      @hyperball01 2 года назад +7

      Okay so serious question. What does it mean to be a Catholic Theologian? Do you read the bible every day? Not meant to be mean ofcourse

  • @Actual_Real_Person
    @Actual_Real_Person 2 года назад +2471

    Dank screaming at how big the Bible is was amazing. The Bible has those ridiculously thin pages for a reason.

    • @HappyBeezerStudios
      @HappyBeezerStudios Год назад +20

      It's a book written over hundreds and thousands of hears. Lots of text

    • @lainwired3946
      @lainwired3946 Год назад +13

      @@HappyBeezerStudios not 100s of 1000s 🤣 at a push the old testament dates back 10-20k years but really 5-10k is more likely. Ot tells stories that purport to be much older but the Jews didn't have a written tradition 100s of 1000s of years ago. Nor was Judea even a thing that long ago.

    • @Jaeeden
      @Jaeeden Год назад +52

      @@lainwired3946 yes, not 100s of thousands. Their comment said "hundreds AND thousands"

    • @16driver16
      @16driver16 Год назад +3

      @Lain Wired the old testament has been used to argue the earth isn't even 10k-20k years old...

    • @goatman7362
      @goatman7362 Год назад +13

      You mentioning the Bible having really thin pages just unlocked forgotten Sunday school memories

  • @djwisk
    @djwisk 2 года назад +1381

    He was actually screaming with excitement about genesis, until he realised it's not Phil Collins on drums

  • @Version0111
    @Version0111 2 года назад +2269

    In defense of the headphones do they really NEED to play top and bottom ends if they're only intended to play spoken word audio?

    • @nukefoodsofficial5849
      @nukefoodsofficial5849 2 года назад +511

      Your comment i dub the “Mid Testament”

    • @apoletestry3766
      @apoletestry3766 2 года назад +93

      Yeah, that's right, because you can still hear someone speaking clearly through some proper garbage headphones.
      I should know, because I used to have some no-name green headphones.

    • @ukargeo
      @ukargeo 2 года назад +245

      what if jesus had some sick subwoofers and skullcandy crushers

    • @alphaplayzz1381
      @alphaplayzz1381 2 года назад

      @@ukargeo and jesus said "fuck you. *B A S S* "

    • @lIlIIlIllIIIllIIllIlIllIllI
      @lIlIIlIllIIIllIIllIlIllIllI 2 года назад +35

      @@ukargeo you know he would

  • @Zerbey
    @Zerbey 2 года назад +594

    Your reaction to all the books and chapters had me chuckling. Just FYI a lot of the books are quite short and very few people have read the entire thing from cover to cover. The yearly Bibles are usually selected parts to teach a specific lesson every day.

    • @oliviersavard8676
      @oliviersavard8676 2 года назад +15

      at the same time it's not really designed to be read in one go, i see it more as a collection of lines to quote lol

    • @Zerbey
      @Zerbey 2 года назад +8

      @@oliviersavard8676 Exactly, although I know a few people (including non Christians) who have. I've probably read 3/4 of it over the years, but I was quite religious when I was younger.

    • @arnox4554
      @arnox4554 2 года назад

      "very few people have read the entire thing from cover to cover."
      I think true Christians really need to stop this. Or should I say, stop being a pussy and start REALLY reading the Bible. They don't need to know it end to end of course, but if they profess to believe, then they SHOULD at least know basically what's in it. And this is coming from a guy who's "one of those Joe Smith mormons," so we actually have three more books we need to read over the other Christian religions on top of the regular Bible, and we need to know what's in every one of them..

    • @thatguyalex2835
      @thatguyalex2835 2 года назад +13

      As a Christian, I am glad that DankPods released this video. It makes my day. Who said God doesn't have a sense of humor. For instance, He invented the banana, 14 billion years ago (which was bred 250 years ago, modern variety), only for us humans to make jokes about it in the 2020s.
      Edit: Have you tried Fr. Mike Schmitz - Bible In a Year podcast? It is good stuff

    • @joneades1364
      @joneades1364 2 года назад +7

      I mean really, the bible is a book, containing 66 other books (possibly more since I only have an NIV). Most bibles (index and glossary included) are 1000+ pages. imagine NARRATING that.

  • @cromulence
    @cromulence 2 года назад +532

    "No one will know I tried to blow up the headphones".
    Just imagine some poor kid buying some earphones in cashies and they receive a set that has been absolutely obliterated by Wade.

    • @kaeroseon
      @kaeroseon Год назад +19

      I mean it could inspire him to set out on a nugget venture and dirty bud blowupathon of his own

    • @mattdavis9601
      @mattdavis9601 Год назад +7

      Or imagine Shane from the Smoorez Channel...

  • @TheFancyFilmmaker
    @TheFancyFilmmaker 2 года назад +6530

    As a man who use to be extremely religious, seeing him react at how big the Bible was made me laugh so hard. 😂

    • @varkboys9999
      @varkboys9999 2 года назад +92

      Same! I was cry laughing

    • @sebascc007
      @sebascc007 2 года назад +35

      Same here. Best part of the vídeo XD

    • @JohnL_S17
      @JohnL_S17 2 года назад +11

      Same XD XD XD XD XD XD XD XD XD XD XD

    • @insertcheesypunhere
      @insertcheesypunhere 2 года назад +8

      mood lol

    • @dudeman-z6d
      @dudeman-z6d 2 года назад +80

      Same but I’m just recently got into Christianity

  • @agnomymous
    @agnomymous 2 года назад +1335

    Dank: “you’d have no idea I was in here”
    Someone else in 10 years after rebuying these at cashies: “Someone’s been in here!”

    • @navycalvin9337
      @navycalvin9337 2 года назад +70

      plot twist, it's also him

    • @MrRandomGuitarist
      @MrRandomGuitarist 2 года назад

      @@navycalvin9337 Senile Dank buying everything back from cashies again in many decades time

    • @dutchah91
      @dutchah91 2 года назад +34

      @@navycalvin9337 Dankpods: The Dementia Days

    • @lightingkid2010
      @lightingkid2010 2 года назад

      but the person didint say dankpods was in there.

    • @HasanUnknown
      @HasanUnknown 2 года назад +1

      Islam is the religion who makes us to Believe in Jesus,
      We Muslims 100% Believes in Jesus
      We Muslims Believes that Jesus was The Christ,
      No Muslim is a Muslim if he doesn’t Believes in Jesus,
      Jesus did Miracles by the Permission of Allah,
      Jesus himself Never said “Im God” also Never he said anyone to “Worship Me”
      Jesus was Just a Prophet and Messenger Of Allah Only to Guide The People of Israel,
      (COME TO ISLAM = COME TO JESUS)
      -----------------------
      *Jesus Denies Being God* | Read ⬇️
      -----------------------
      "My Father is greater than me." [John 14:28]
      “I am ascending to my Father and your Father, to My God and your God.” [John 20:17]
      “Jesus said: 'Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one.” [Mark 12:29]
      “Jesus, Fell with his face to the ground and Prayed.” [Matthew 26:39]
      “I can of mine own self do nothing: as I hear, I judge: and my judgement is just because I seek not my own will, but the will of the Father who has sent me." [John 5:30]
      “The crowd answered, This is Jesus, the Prophet.” [Matthew 21:10-11]
      ---------------------
      *The Coming Of Prophet Muhammed In Bible*
      ---------------------
      “I still have many things to say to you, but you cannot bear them now. When he the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all the truth, for he will not speak on his own authority, but whatever he hears he will speak, and he will declare to you the things that are to come, He will glorify me, for he will take what is mine and declare it to you.” [John 16:12-14]
      ---------------------
      *Allah Clears About Jesus*
      ---------------------
      [Quran:- 5:72]:-
      “Jesus has said, "O Children of Israel, worship Allah, my Lord and your Lord."
      [Quran:- 19:30]:-
      “Jesus has said, "Indeed, I am the servant of Allah. He has given me the Scripture and made me a Prophet.”
      [Quran:- 4:171]:-
      “Christ Jesus the son of Mary was no more than a messenger of Allah, So believe in Allah and His messengers. Say not "Trinity" desist: it will be better for you: for Allah is one Allah:
      ---------------------
      ⚠️ WARNING ⚠️
      [Quran:- 3:85] :-
      “And whoever follows other than Islam as religion - never it will be accepted from him, and he, in the Hereafter, will be among the losers.”
      ---------------------

  • @Ryno6465
    @Ryno6465 2 года назад +843

    Alternate title: Aussie Man Learns How Huge the Bible Really Is

    • @kuba222777
      @kuba222777 2 года назад +53

      Alternate title: Aussie man screams at Bible nugget for two minutes

    • @nolongeranobody869
      @nolongeranobody869 2 года назад +3

      Agree

    • @benji7577
      @benji7577 2 года назад +2

      I loved all the screaming 😂

    • @MrRainbowTie
      @MrRainbowTie 2 года назад +1

      6:46-7:03 And his subsequent reaction.

    • @Calvin_Coolage
      @Calvin_Coolage 2 года назад

      Funny thing is that there's even more depending on what Bible you use or what denomination you are.

  • @LeeDee5
    @LeeDee5 2 года назад +544

    The screaming all through Genesis made me laugh so hard.

  • @ashtonisvibing4763
    @ashtonisvibing4763 2 года назад +1637

    watching dank scrolling through the tracks and screaming everytime it kept going, especially when he got to genesis, has got to be the funniest shit i've heard today. i couldn't breath by the end of that, thanks for that man XDXD

    • @liamconn35
      @liamconn35 2 года назад +35

      He just didn't stop, he screamed through the entirety of genesis, it was great.

    • @ainlLeek
      @ainlLeek 2 года назад +12

      yeah, dank sounded like Marv in Home Alone getting the crap zapped out of him.

    • @kaijuhunter_02VOD
      @kaijuhunter_02VOD 2 года назад +10

      Wait til he sees Psalms

    • @brycedunlap
      @brycedunlap 2 года назад +4

      Im literally crying right now.

    • @ash36230
      @ash36230 2 года назад +1

      @@liamconn35 Tbf the music press did the same thing to Genesis and Phil Collins in the 80s

  • @wolfie-ih7vx
    @wolfie-ih7vx 2 года назад +3329

    Love how terrified Dank acts while talking about "disappointing Jesus" cause it is EXACTLY what growing up Catholic feels like

    • @oliviersavard8676
      @oliviersavard8676 2 года назад +277

      "you need to LET JESUS INTO YOUR HEART or he will be DISAPPOINTED at your LACK OF FAITH"
      meanwhile 8 y-o me who doesn't understand anything: "but i don't get it, how will i know he will be there, will it hurt"

    • @NobleLeader6
      @NobleLeader6 2 года назад

      Catholics are all about feeling miserable and disappointed all the time, at least that's how it felt growing up Catholic.

    • @abraxis7292
      @abraxis7292 2 года назад +178

      I remember in a Bible school they told us to lay in bed at night and talk to God and see if we could hear him talk back and a kid asked why he didn't hear anything when sitting in the pitch black and the pastor was like "was there any other noise?" And he was like "a radio was on" and the pastor goes "God cannot talk over others! Try harder!" That poor kid was distraught

    • @oliviersavard8676
      @oliviersavard8676 2 года назад +2

      @Quark cool i'm sure everyone cares

    • @PunishedHobo
      @PunishedHobo 2 года назад +33

      I almost sounds foreign to me when I hear stuff like this, because the community where I was raised was much less strict.

  • @JomasterTheSecond
    @JomasterTheSecond 2 года назад +554

    Only Jesus himself would make packaging so easy to open.

    • @DeadRider88
      @DeadRider88 2 года назад +2

      me and you watching at the same time

    • @trayner
      @trayner 2 года назад +55

      Probly doesn't want to get more holes in his hands

    • @Witchblood
      @Witchblood 2 года назад

      Humans are too evil

    • @realspeedghxst
      @realspeedghxst 2 года назад +3

      @@trayner i shouldn't have laughed hard but damn i couldn't hold it

    • @realspeedghxst
      @realspeedghxst 2 года назад +1

      @@trayner i shouldn't have laughed hard but damn i couldn't hold it

  • @colterwehmeier7258
    @colterwehmeier7258 2 года назад +341

    I remember in airports ~15 years ago, they'd sell audiobooks in self contained players. They were semi-disposible. I wonder if any of those are still around.

    • @azaleawinchester
      @azaleawinchester 2 года назад +25

      I don't know where they came from but at a library I went to I borrowed Twilight on one of those little things or at least something similar to it. I think the year was maybe 2014?

    • @lucasstewart6701
      @lucasstewart6701 2 года назад +35

      If you're interested the channel Techmoan recently did a video on them. They're called Playaways

    • @someguyonyoutube9279
      @someguyonyoutube9279 2 года назад +6

      oh man I remember borrowing a harry potter book with one of those

    • @solitairepilot
      @solitairepilot 2 года назад +3

      Check out the channel ‘Techmoan’ he has a video on one :D

    • @caranook
      @caranook 2 года назад +6

      I remember that, whenever we were flying somewhere when I was a child my parents would always pick a couple of them up.

  • @YeeableDingus
    @YeeableDingus 2 года назад +571

    “I found the holy nugget”
    I don’t think a title of a RUclips video has ever made me laugh so hard in my life. It just sounds hilarious out of context. Like, “Hey James, what’s that you got?” “The holy nugget.”

    • @_invencible_
      @_invencible_ 2 года назад

      everything is funnier when james says it

    • @Napert
      @Napert 2 года назад +4

      unfortunately it was changed to "Even Jesus made an MP3 player..."

  • @mistertestsubject
    @mistertestsubject 2 года назад +1120

    - gives headphone warning when hes blowing up the Holy Stinkbuds
    - gives no warning for 30 seconds of high pitched screaming
    Never change, Dank

    • @KnifeNerd9
      @KnifeNerd9 2 года назад +60

      The warning wasn't for you, it was for the holybuds :D

    • @figshw
      @figshw 2 года назад +4

      @@KnifeNerd9 oh that makes sense

  • @DarthDoomSlayer64
    @DarthDoomSlayer64 2 года назад +1875

    As a Christian, you're fine mate.
    As a fellow audio enthusiast, your doing the lords work blowing those demonphones back to hell.

    • @Ephoros
      @Ephoros 2 года назад +106

      Quite fitting to blow them up with the diablo.

    • @epicmusic9029
      @epicmusic9029 2 года назад +42

      The funniest part being the buttons shaped like a cross of sorts

    • @Dauthdart
      @Dauthdart 2 года назад +8

      All these comments are gold 🤣

    • @SrijanGuha
      @SrijanGuha 2 года назад +2

      Good thread

    • @WilliamHollinger2019
      @WilliamHollinger2019 2 года назад

      Agree

  • @literalfeline
    @literalfeline 2 года назад +195

    hearing this man scream helplessly as he went through genesis was good

    • @bensmith4563
      @bensmith4563 Год назад +4

      Too bad he didn't look at psalms

  • @somerandomkoreaman
    @somerandomkoreaman 2 года назад +1547

    Dank, I have watched you for a while. I have had some really rough weeks recently at my job. But your videos make my week 10x more bearable. I just wanted to say thank you for all you do.

    • @masoe556
      @masoe556 2 года назад +4

      First

    • @masoe556
      @masoe556 2 года назад +3

      By the way anyone here is from kazakhstan or I am the only onem

    • @Zekrozma3
      @Zekrozma3 2 года назад +1

      Gg

    • @darkmesa8107
      @darkmesa8107 2 года назад +9

      Yeah, it's amazing how entertaining he is. He can literally review assorted Lego food props and still be extremely entertaining. This guy is talented.

    • @onskibsigma
      @onskibsigma 2 года назад +1

      Why dis you put this in a RUclips comment

  • @thrownsofaraway9978
    @thrownsofaraway9978 2 года назад +1661

    1: The irony of the "Diablo" trying to kill the "Holy Buds" is a solid joke in it of itself. 2: The "Holy Buds" should have gotten a pass being that all they were used for was an audio Bible therefore not needing fancy bass or tops.

    • @apoletestry3766
      @apoletestry3766 2 года назад +56

      Exactly.
      Multiple people have said this before as well. Oh well atleast their not rare.

    • @whitworth5s248
      @whitworth5s248 Год назад +4

      777 Likes... I can't bring myself to upset that holy number.

    • @thrownsofaraway9978
      @thrownsofaraway9978 Год назад +3

      @@whitworth5s248 Wooooooooie! That's a lot of daggum likes!

    • @HappyBeezerStudios
      @HappyBeezerStudios Год назад

      The holy buds are meant for speech, so it be excused.
      But bad holy buds deserve to be exorcised and cast into the fire for being so cheap.

    • @angeltoad4657
      @angeltoad4657 Год назад

      Yes

  • @TroubleChute
    @TroubleChute 2 года назад +2354

    The light flickering was actually spooky

  • @BobofWOGGLE
    @BobofWOGGLE 2 года назад +101

    If nobody's pointed it out yet there was a brand of single-purpose audiobook nuggets that got sold to libraries back in the day where the players looked just like this, it might not be quite as bespoke as it seems.

    • @BraveEmpress
      @BraveEmpress Год назад +5

      They're still a thing. The current iteration is called a Playaway and the backs look like tiny book covers xD

  • @BookofMac8737
    @BookofMac8737 2 года назад +445

    okay as a fellow Australian, it's VERY funny hearing Dank, who is from the state infamous for all the churches it has, show how he knows absolutely fuck all about the church, very cathartic for my lapsed catholic, former religious school going self

    • @wingedfish1175
      @wingedfish1175 2 года назад +2

      Huh I didn't know that bit of church trivia and I live in Australia, thanks

    • @DeathProductions200
      @DeathProductions200 2 года назад +9

      To be fair, I was in a Baptist church in the southern USA flavored. I dont know anything about church either.

    • @CantankerousDave
      @CantankerousDave 2 года назад +11

      I prefer to think of it as RECOVERING Catholic.

    • @quailron1581
      @quailron1581 2 года назад

      @@CantankerousDave same.

    • @mpkny
      @mpkny 2 года назад +1

      (from a fellow lapsed catholic former religious school going self to another) we do indeed have a number of churches and indeed SA was intended to be a colony founded on the tenet of religious freedom, but the 2016 census reports that over 35% of south australians have no religious affiliation at all (to compare, it was 25% in NSW and 31% in VIC) so old mate dank is far from alone in that here

  • @Exarian
    @Exarian 2 года назад +1551

    I was raised *VERY* Baptist, so seeing the catholic books in the bible really do throw me for a loop. Wisdom of Solomon right after Song of Solomon? It feels like finding the weird direct to video sequel for a beloved childhood movie.

    • @Alias_Anybody
      @Alias_Anybody 2 года назад +79

      I feel like in Europe, any branch of Christianity basically ignores 90% of the Old Testament per default. Also, the order of everything that isn't Genesis or Exodus is completely irrelevant.
      "I don't know, this psalm sounded topical"

    • @anthonyseboe4646
      @anthonyseboe4646 2 года назад +45

      I was raised Christian, specifically Lutheran, and I was suddenly confused when I saw extra books that I typically wouldn’t see. I was also extremely confused by what NSRV CE was. I might have to take a look at this later.

    • @mandararomness3932
      @mandararomness3932 2 года назад +38

      It's the opposite for me. I was raised Catholic, and when my parents gave up on Catholisism (That's its own story, lol), they went to a Lutheran church, and it was a shock learning that most Bibles aren't like the one I was forced to learn from as a kid 😂

    • @Alias_Anybody
      @Alias_Anybody 2 года назад

      @@schenkov
      Yeah, but a lot of Christians didn't get the memo because the OT is better at justifying the stuff they wanted to do anyway.

    • @Massakre8492nd
      @Massakre8492nd 2 года назад +2

      @@schenkov pretty much

  • @danielvera1520
    @danielvera1520 2 года назад +460

    Loved this as a student of theology. Seeing your reaction to how long the Old Testament and chapters were was priceless! I want to buy this holy Nug now. Keep the high quality content comin’

    • @JesseLack
      @JesseLack 2 года назад +3

      Dank's reaction to finding there were 50+ pages of Genesis was pretty much my reaction during my intro to Theology class back in 2015 lmao

    • @FunBoysGaming
      @FunBoysGaming 2 года назад +3

      No offense, but why would you waste your time like that? That‘s like studying Scientology. Just… why?

    • @JesseLack
      @JesseLack 2 года назад +3

      @@FunBoysGaming because i went to a Catholic university and they were required credits 🤷🏼‍♂️ lol

    • @JesseLack
      @JesseLack 2 года назад +2

      @@FunBoysGaming and yes, it was a massive waste of time

    • @organicleaf
      @organicleaf 2 года назад

      @@JesseLack did you go there because you wanted to or did you have to?

  • @Maddin1313
    @Maddin1313 2 года назад +356

    You think reading the Bible in one year is a task? This guy narrated the entire Bible. The entire thing! In probably less than a year, I'd assume.

    • @coolbrotherf127
      @coolbrotherf127 Год назад +2

      It said on the box about 90 hours

    • @engine4628
      @engine4628 Год назад +6

      @@coolbrotherf127 yeah but imagine fumbling your words one time and you have to repeat that part from the beginning again

    • @coolbrotherf127
      @coolbrotherf127 Год назад +7

      @@engine4628Yeah, in total, it probably took a few weeks or months to get everything recorded perfectly depending on how much they got through per day.

    • @mromutt
      @mromutt 8 месяцев назад +3

      @@coolbrotherf127 Oh yeah, easily months. People don't realize how taxing narrating is, both physically and mentally.

  • @AtticusGrim
    @AtticusGrim 2 года назад +679

    You know, it's kinda genius putting Frank clips at the end of every single video because it means I always end up sticking around for the whole video.

    • @hobobazaar8196
      @hobobazaar8196 2 года назад +2

      I just skip to the end

    • @Lmjacks
      @Lmjacks 2 года назад

      @@hobobazaar8196 there is a special place in dirty bud hell for you 😔

    • @knickemz
      @knickemz 2 года назад

      @@GAMERIN-rn6dj I think Frank is a girl but yes

    • @peepothefrog4331
      @peepothefrog4331 2 года назад +2

      @@knickemz girls can be boys if the word before boy ends with y
      Cheeky boy
      Sneaky boy
      Wiggly boy

    • @knickemz
      @knickemz 2 года назад +1

      @@peepothefrog4331 damb you might be onto sumn

  • @samjones5129
    @samjones5129 2 года назад +413

    I wanted an iPod so badly when I was a kid. One Christmas morning my parents got me and my sister together to give us a “special” gift. We opened them up and at first I thought it was a regular MP3 player, but to my surprise it was a GoBible (it was an older version of this) and could not be loaded with music of any kind. This is really bringing back the memories haha

    • @LaceBlood
      @LaceBlood 2 года назад +46

      The disappointment you must’ve felt 😭

    • @slakk5093
      @slakk5093 2 года назад +24

      Oh that's a harsh Xmas morning 😔

    • @percyjamesthomasdog
      @percyjamesthomasdog 2 года назад

      Beat them with Jesus

    • @mgthestrange9098
      @mgthestrange9098 2 года назад +20

      I’m sure that’s some form of child cruelty. Was it a joke?

    • @mgthestrange9098
      @mgthestrange9098 2 года назад +7

      @Daniel Cook 🤣 I’m sure you were thrilled with it, bet you were the envy of all your classmates!

  • @SpartanOfLuxon
    @SpartanOfLuxon 2 года назад +172

    I'm in literal tears, I need a 10 hour loop of the screaming at the Genesis parts as soon as possible.

    • @cassDL
      @cassDL 2 года назад +9

      Someone will make it. We’ll add it to the danktionary of confoosed aussieness

    • @clarebearr5357
      @clarebearr5357 2 года назад +1

      RUclips will provide.

  • @StevenUlyssesPerhero
    @StevenUlyssesPerhero 2 года назад +466

    "Oh no, now I know why [Jesus] is making that face, He's really disappointed in me!"
    You did it! You broke Catholicism down to its bare essentials!

    • @rowanthayer3632
      @rowanthayer3632 Год назад

      The amount of damage Catholicism has done to my friends and mother, it really deserves to be shat on

    • @AshleyThePup
      @AshleyThePup Год назад +17

      Oh a fellow queer person that watches dank pods, hello ^w^

    • @mysticaxolotl8215
      @mysticaxolotl8215 Год назад +9

      @@AshleyThePup We’re multiplying :D

    • @AshleyThePup
      @AshleyThePup Год назад +7

      @@mysticaxolotl8215 let's goooooo

    • @Pastellera2video
      @Pastellera2video Год назад +5

      @@mysticaxolotl8215 indeed we are

  • @CryoByte115
    @CryoByte115 2 года назад +88

    6:55 "Local Aussie Man Is Scared by The Bible"

  • @Spacecat8888
    @Spacecat8888 2 года назад +1359

    Honestly, it actually seems fairly well designed.

    • @ShihammeDarc
      @ShihammeDarc 2 года назад +72

      Except it has no search function

    • @Kier_1
      @Kier_1 2 года назад +52

      @@ShihammeDarc well people who would buy this would probably now were everything was so yeah

    • @ShihammeDarc
      @ShihammeDarc 2 года назад +42

      @@Kier_1 scrolling through that much even if you know where to look seems like a drag

    • @cinnamonnoir2487
      @cinnamonnoir2487 2 года назад +27

      _Intelligently_ designed, if you will?

    • @ReigoShirofficial
      @ReigoShirofficial 2 года назад +51

      The holy cross button design was kinda dope ngl

  • @frenzyXprime
    @frenzyXprime 2 года назад +219

    Didn’t expect “Australian man screams at book” to almost make me pop a lung

  • @mfkrwill
    @mfkrwill 2 года назад +80

    "I heard the voices but theres no man in here" is an underrated line

  • @migaisnotacat
    @migaisnotacat 2 года назад +158

    Hearing dank scream "JESUS FORGIVE ME" while blowing up the headphones is legitimately the best thing ever.

  • @gsarssadams
    @gsarssadams 2 года назад +296

    As an ordained minister I loved seeing your reaction to the number of chapters and books! A refreshing view from what the world would see what I take as just common knowledge. Have a like and a continued patron subscriber:D

    • @MattFCC
      @MattFCC 2 года назад +6

      Amen brother!

    • @tothemaxx1991
      @tothemaxx1991 2 года назад +4

      I can't help but to imagine a pastor dressed to the nines with his feet up on his lectern, headphones on, laughing as an Australian man screams at technology

    • @SrijanGuha
      @SrijanGuha 2 года назад +2

      Even Men of God watch The Dank.

  • @jeffmcgregor6100
    @jeffmcgregor6100 2 года назад +146

    being a Christian, I was not offended, but laughed so hard at how big you thought the bible was, it is big, but no bigger than some of the text books I had to read back in my student days.

    • @sparkclouding5302
      @sparkclouding5302 2 года назад +2

      @zee some of the content is removed because if in fact the bible did record every work that jesus did there would be multiple books and i mean real books

    • @SqualidsargeStudios
      @SqualidsargeStudios 2 года назад

      Weren’t text books like extremely big back then anyway?

    • @Veilwing
      @Veilwing 2 года назад +3

      wait until he sees psalms lol

    • @gamingnubs7628
      @gamingnubs7628 2 года назад +1

      @zee ya know, not every single thing is documented. Back then writing was only for the smart people, so alot of casual events werent documented.

  • @jamescorrall6535
    @jamescorrall6535 2 года назад +129

    "It does ultimately achieve its goals" is the highest praise for a nugget Wade has ever given 😛

  • @johntheurer2265
    @johntheurer2265 2 года назад +64

    7:00 a man experiences religion for the first time

  • @MacPhantom
    @MacPhantom 2 года назад +711

    7:28
    It's amazing to think that Wade talks over the "holy" bible because he's afraid of copyright strikes. Back in the day you would be afraid of excommunication if you did that.

    • @ShreyashUSA
      @ShreyashUSA 2 года назад +51

      Otherwise the cardinals of RUclips would excommunicate him

    • @ShihammeDarc
      @ShihammeDarc 2 года назад +31

      Dude, you can copyright individual performances of works in the public domain

    • @SeekingTheLoveThatGodMeans7648
      @SeekingTheLoveThatGodMeans7648 2 года назад +8

      It would be so, so unlikely that the specific recording in the pod has been registered with You Tube content recognition (usually, that's music), but the most likely thing if it were would simply to be demonetized while play royalties go to the identified owner.

    • @VorteX-ox2fm
      @VorteX-ox2fm 2 года назад +1

      Back in which days?

    • @MarceloZ2
      @MarceloZ2 2 года назад +8

      @@VorteX-ox2fm The Spanish inquisition! Because you never expect the Spanish inquisition.
      But honestly I have no idea lmao

  • @Ghost.Gamer1
    @Ghost.Gamer1 2 года назад +300

    “ I’m not here to offend anyone, I’m just here for the funny nugget” has gotta be one of my favorite lines on this channel

  • @Jaunty_Jeff
    @Jaunty_Jeff 2 года назад +40

    "Apostles' Creed? Isn't that a playstation game?" 💀

    • @leontechtalks
      @leontechtalks 2 года назад +3

      Assassins creed. Apostles creed is one too. It’s not public yet. It’s only mine at the moment. 🙏

    • @tylern6420
      @tylern6420 Год назад

      @@leontechtalks buttbuttouts mead 💀

  • @kennorcott7074
    @kennorcott7074 2 года назад +166

    Poor dank’s mind is being blown by how much Bible there is fills me with so much joy. I felt the same way when I got a Bible thrown at the back of my head and had to go to the emergency room

    • @Thobeian
      @Thobeian 2 года назад +13

      That sounds like a story

    • @kennorcott7074
      @kennorcott7074 2 года назад +10

      @@Thobeian I had a bad childhood

    • @jero37
      @jero37 2 года назад +1

      @@kennorcott7074 sorry to hear that.

    • @kennorcott7074
      @kennorcott7074 2 года назад +5

      @@jero37 eh I’m better for it. And I have a funny story

    • @tlawal7
      @tlawal7 2 года назад

      Who did that, and why?

  • @Zia_Ali.
    @Zia_Ali. 2 года назад +214

    6:45 That hysterical screaming had me in tears!! 🤣🤣😂

    • @vylbird8014
      @vylbird8014 2 года назад +4

      It's a well-known fact that for a video to be successful in youtube it must include screaming, a thumbnail of a shocked expression, and a title containing an unanswered mystery.

    • @Valhalla05
      @Valhalla05 Год назад

      @@vylbird8014 This video only has 1

    • @dautisticguy
      @dautisticguy 10 месяцев назад +2

      😅😅😅😅

    • @dautisticguy
      @dautisticguy 10 месяцев назад +1

      I officially use this as my ringtone😅

  • @hokage_smoke
    @hokage_smoke 2 года назад +60

    I just image him in a confession booth crying out that he opened the holy nugget and blew up the holy buds

    • @BlazingKhioneus
      @BlazingKhioneus 2 года назад +2

      I hope that shows up on his patreon next week

    • @Anino_Makata
      @Anino_Makata 2 года назад +4

      I can imagine how he'd word his confession...
      "Forgive me Father, for I have sinned... this is actually my first time here mate, so go easy on my a'right?"

  • @peebledeeble
    @peebledeeble 2 года назад +42

    as someone who grew up super religious and has read the bible several times, his genuine shock at how long the bible is made me cackle

    • @Photo0021
      @Photo0021 2 года назад

      Agreed. Haha.

    • @peebledeeble
      @peebledeeble 2 года назад

      KING LIKED MY COMMENY YALL STFU

  • @kristophjj17
    @kristophjj17 2 года назад +74

    The screaming while scrolling through Genesis perfectly sums up my experience in Catholic school

  • @aiden3585
    @aiden3585 2 года назад +586

    As a Christian, this was hilarious! By the way the genesis 1-40 are collections of a few paragraphs so genesis is like a short book, along with all these others. I actually remember asking my parents for one of these for Sunday school lol.

    • @nom3nnescio
      @nom3nnescio 2 года назад +1

      🤮

    • @jirehjirehjirehjireh
      @jirehjirehjirehjireh 2 года назад +32

      @@nom3nnescio why

    • @Dead-st7ry
      @Dead-st7ry 2 года назад

      @@jirehjirehjirehjireh because religion is aids

    • @echodelta2172
      @echodelta2172 2 года назад +28

      @@jirehjirehjirehjireh tipped his fedora too hard m8

    • @jirehjirehjirehjireh
      @jirehjirehjirehjireh 2 года назад +12

      @@echodelta2172 Huh? He was just stating a fact about the Bible which is true. I don’t think he was trying to flex or anything

  • @Jawsbyte01
    @Jawsbyte01 2 года назад +179

    10:15 "I heard the voices but theres no man in here" fucking dead dude lmao. Great video as always!

    • @MosinAttractedPerson
      @MosinAttractedPerson Год назад +1

      😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

  • @BejaeIngate
    @BejaeIngate 2 года назад +46

    I'm of the Christian faith and I must say... I was pretty offended when I thought you weren't going to try and explode the buds. Glad you saw the error in your ways and let the buds burn
    p.s. Screaming at Genesis was the best thing I've seen all week

    • @5PctJuice
      @5PctJuice 10 месяцев назад

      All we can do is admit our sins and atone.

  • @kupokinzyt
    @kupokinzyt 2 года назад +63

    6:47 I swear I left this video on in the background to go make coffee and started hearing this in my kitchen. My speakers are really loud. I had no idea what the f it was and ran back to my bedroom. Thanks Dank, love ya too mate.

  • @nyausgris
    @nyausgris 2 года назад +1302

    being forced to grow up in a HEAVILY christian family, seeing him start screaming at just how big the bible is had me in TEARS. honestly thats exactly how i feel about it nowadays

    • @SeekingTheLoveThatGodMeans7648
      @SeekingTheLoveThatGodMeans7648 2 года назад +27

      The classical Old and New Testaments did not become things that could be kept in the common private household till the advent of the printing press, and yet somehow faith in the Christ lived before this. Christians could hear from both, but it was generally through the benevolence of those who could afford the expensive scribe labor.
      Heavily religiose isn't the same as deeply devoted personally to the powerful spirit of the Christ, which is where, little by little, I have gone. Scripture can be used to bully, as can formal church organizations. Fooey on that from heaven itself.

    • @XxSUPERPOOPxX
      @XxSUPERPOOPxX 2 года назад

      @@SeekingTheLoveThatGodMeans7648 hey go crucify yourself

    • @SliceJosiah
      @SliceJosiah 2 года назад +53

      @@SeekingTheLoveThatGodMeans7648 ...

    • @shnoiken
      @shnoiken 2 года назад +4

      I’m in the lds church and there is the Bible the Book of Mormon the pearl of great price and doctrine and covenants and they’re all like 1500 pages

    • @apoletestry3766
      @apoletestry3766 2 года назад +1

      @@shnoiken Oh well.
      Can't complain you don't have anything to read.

  • @mkkocsis
    @mkkocsis 2 года назад +24

    At 9:24 you can see him walk off camera is the reflection of the nugphones and I love it

  • @kenouk6183
    @kenouk6183 2 года назад +76

    6:35 “this would take you a year”
    Me, in my third year of reading the bible, just being halfway: HAH!

    • @XuroX.
      @XuroX. 4 месяца назад

      Why are you wasting your time like that?

    • @kenouk6183
      @kenouk6183 4 месяца назад

      @@XuroX. cuz i try

    • @JohnnyApplesauce1
      @JohnnyApplesauce1 2 месяца назад

      Dick​@@XuroX.

    • @zach9999
      @zach9999 2 месяца назад

      Penis ​@@JohnnyApplesauce1

    • @paper177
      @paper177 18 дней назад

      ​@@XuroX.As bill wurtz once put it: "you could make a religion out of this"
      Besides that, I am Catholic myself, and I advise you to learn from your mistakes.

  • @judgementmarshmallow6002
    @judgementmarshmallow6002 2 года назад +318

    * screaming progressively getting louder as he realizes how big Genesis is *
    ...and wait until he hears about Psalms
    also as a Christain this was very funny and not offensive, so no worries! Great content as always!

    • @Zerbey
      @Zerbey 2 года назад +11

      Genesis itself is quite short (you can read it in less than an hour), it just has a lot of short Chapters. Psalms is a bit more of an undertaking!

    • @BejaeIngate
      @BejaeIngate 2 года назад +1

      "the old one-hunge-fiddy right in the middle"

    • @apoletestry3766
      @apoletestry3766 2 года назад

      As a Christian, what is it like for you to experience other Chistians who get offended by the things you don't find offensive involving the religion in some way?

    • @Zerbey
      @Zerbey 2 года назад +1

      @@apoletestry3766 I've not been a practicing Christian in over 20 years, but you'll find most religious people don't get offended by jokes about their religion so long as it's not clearly insulting. I didn't find any of Wade's comments in this video offensive.

  • @metzger2863
    @metzger2863 2 года назад +39

    As a Christian myself, I gotta say...your reaction to the sheer volume of...well, um, the volumes, checks out. Dank, you're a true entertainer. Thanks for having fun with this :)

  • @CutsceneLogic
    @CutsceneLogic 2 года назад +248

    Full-voiced, high pitched screaming is generally my go-to reaction to bible stuff, as well.

    • @0accipiters0
      @0accipiters0 2 года назад +13

      Me as a Christian would high pitched scream if I had to listen to some guy talk to me on the gobibble

    • @christophermorin9036
      @christophermorin9036 2 года назад

      Yeah, he was starting to sound like that goat by the end of it lol.

    • @DuckInGameStop
      @DuckInGameStop 2 года назад +1

      Yeah, some of the stuff in there can be pretty disturbing

  • @Floppsilon
    @Floppsilon 2 года назад +29

    I love how his breakdown at the end is the modern day equivalent of Adam and Eve trying to hide that they ate the fruit.

  • @thetwelfthsystem7755
    @thetwelfthsystem7755 2 года назад +55

    The fact they didn’t put the controls in the shape of a cross bugs me so much like they were so close

    • @TianRunty
      @TianRunty 2 года назад +6

      They did, well its more in the shape of the person ON the cross. Complete with a round button for the head

  • @Flopster101
    @Flopster101 2 года назад +28

    "Apostles' Creed? That's a Playstation game ain't it?"
    That got me wheezing real hard and I'm not even halfway through the video

  • @CoolFire666
    @CoolFire666 2 года назад +82

    To be fair, this is one of the few cases where the headphones being only mids would not be so bad since it's exclusively spoken word content and you can't put anything else on it.

  • @peterjones6456
    @peterjones6456 Год назад +27

    This video was released in April 2022, right in the midst of the most depressing time of my life.
    I can remember late night, I was having a super rough day and I was emotionally exhausted, crying, and alone. I got myself a snack, lay in bed, and found this video. And it somehow made me laugh hysterically, even during the time where I was the most depressed I'd ever been. This video and channel got me through some super tough times. Thanks a ton Wade ❤️

    • @olivercharles2930
      @olivercharles2930 Год назад +1

      It means little coming from an internet rando, but I genuinely hope you're doing good

    • @peterjones6456
      @peterjones6456 Год назад +2

      @@olivercharles2930 I appreciate it. I've had my ups and downs, but a lot has improved since then. I'm moving on up with life and I hope I can keep this trend going. I'm a lot healthier than I was 2 years ago

  • @Adamborries
    @Adamborries 2 года назад +312

    I work for (not kidding) a Bible software company, and the screaming at the table of contents had me in fits. 😂

    • @rayvega3163
      @rayvega3163 Год назад +11

      A Bible software company? Is God your CEO?
      Sorry I can't resist 😂

    • @AltonTRU
      @AltonTRU Год назад +1

      wow, your acc is old

    • @stonedrei
      @stonedrei 4 месяца назад

      so is jesus your manager?

  • @spamdarsh4319
    @spamdarsh4319 2 года назад +126

    “I’m not trying to offend anyone, I just want the funny nugget” such a good line

    • @spamdarsh4319
      @spamdarsh4319 2 года назад

      @Quark okay dude… cool. I’m a nihilist so yeah.

  • @memediatek
    @memediatek 2 года назад +58

    Alternate Title:
    Wade screams at a Bible for 11 minutes

  • @CallMeVidd
    @CallMeVidd 2 года назад +51

    “I’m sorry Jesus”
    *distorted scarlet fire starts playing*

  • @GibsonSwag
    @GibsonSwag 2 года назад +340

    As a Christian, I can now declare this as a certified holy moment, bro its so funny you legit scared the HELL out of any demons within the buds.
    Cmon that wasnt clever?

    • @GibsonSwag
      @GibsonSwag 2 года назад +27

      @Quark Hey man I get it. Please believe in what you think is best but im going to believe in Jesus. Dont try to drag others down though, i mean im not calling you an uneducated Atheist that is lost. I mean reality is what you believe it to be and I respect that 👍

    • @PopLadd
      @PopLadd 2 года назад +8

      Agreed, certified holy moment indeed 🙏

    • @ciclon5682
      @ciclon5682 2 года назад +15

      @@GibsonSwag dude got so frustrated by your response that he straight up deleted his comment lmao

    • @HoldthatXD
      @HoldthatXD 2 года назад +2

      Based. same. Christ is KING

  • @cobalttj6356
    @cobalttj6356 2 года назад +84

    I was cracking up at the mere concept of this, it's so perfect and out of touch at the same time

  • @amightygrizzly
    @amightygrizzly 2 года назад +650

    6:41-7:03 As a Christian and big audiophile, this...had me dieing of laughter. I love hearing you scream like Daniel Stern from Home Alone while scrolling just through the book of Genesis alone. Can't wait to learn that there is way...way...WAY MORE. Keep up the hard work man! 😁

    • @theoutsiderjess1869
      @theoutsiderjess1869 2 года назад +5

      Same I laughed the entire time 😂

    • @SliceJosiah
      @SliceJosiah 2 года назад +1

      lol same

    • @masonharris9691
      @masonharris9691 2 года назад +1

      AHHHHH AHHHHH

    • @MegaEmmanuel09
      @MegaEmmanuel09 2 года назад +16

      Just wait until he starts scrolling through Psalms 🤣

    • @SliceJosiah
      @SliceJosiah 2 года назад +2

      @@MegaEmmanuel09 Ah yes, we gotta tell him how it all works.

  • @ihavekalashnikovyoudomath9275
    @ihavekalashnikovyoudomath9275 2 года назад +9

    "The Bible is a big book"
    That's what you get compiling 66 books with chapters into one big book

    • @DerPinguim
      @DerPinguim 9 месяцев назад +1

      73. It's the Catholic version, so it has the Deuterocanonicals

  • @TrumpetBoyGD
    @TrumpetBoyGD 2 года назад +263

    I love how he's just totally in fear of disrespecting the nugget-phones.

    • @TrumpetBoyGD
      @TrumpetBoyGD 2 года назад +1

      @Quark Settle down sir. No need for aggression.

    • @kenos911
      @kenos911 2 года назад

      Gd player spotted

    • @TrumpetBoyGD
      @TrumpetBoyGD 2 года назад

      @@kenos911 hi kenos

    • @kenos911
      @kenos911 2 года назад

      @@TrumpetBoyGD hello trumpet man

  • @KodahSmith
    @KodahSmith 2 года назад +57

    As an ex Catholic, watching dank realise how big the bibble is actually incredible lol

  • @markdarc0448
    @markdarc0448 2 года назад +80

    Dude as a Christian this was some of the funniest shit I’ve ever seen. Trust me most of us aren’t stuck up asses and we don’t care, you do you dude your awesome. Great vid

    • @myfavoriteviewer306
      @myfavoriteviewer306 2 года назад +3

      I mean, he did have to make an honest plea for people not to flip out. Kinda says a lot, don't you think?

    • @AmethystRebellion
      @AmethystRebellion 2 года назад +2

      THANK YOU! Someone else with a smiliar mindset! 👍🏻

    • @echodelta2172
      @echodelta2172 2 года назад +1

      ​@@myfavoriteviewer306 Yeah it says a lot that Dank is a nice dude and literally nobody flipped out over this vid. Get over yourself.

  • @xXkrazykitsuneXx
    @xXkrazykitsuneXx 2 года назад +39

    Hilariously, one of my favorite sunday school teachers growing up was a chill af Australian guy (I'm American) who the church deacons would always ask to do bible readings for church services because Accent™. Somehow this feels full circle from that. 😂

  • @Sekuibudoi
    @Sekuibudoi 2 года назад +31

    3:40 I bet you they made the packaging so easy to open only so that people won't have to behead Jesus.

  • @Daniel_Nye
    @Daniel_Nye 2 года назад +66

    9:33 This is how I always imagined repenting would look like.
    Side note, I love watching these videos. Dank could talk about watching paint dry and I'd still be invested

    • @konbkob4156
      @konbkob4156 2 года назад +7

      The distant yelling of "JESUS FORGIVE ME!!" fucking killed me

  • @haleyleyley8951
    @haleyleyley8951 2 года назад +32

    9:38 ah yes, the scarlet fires of hell

  • @pauljoedominic
    @pauljoedominic 2 года назад +59

    Sexy Bluetooth speaker: "Power on"
    Jesus : *concerned*
    SBS : "Bluetooth mode"
    Jesus : *more concerned*
    SBS : "Auxiliary mode "
    Jesus : **loses it** HEATHENS !!!!

    • @EnclavegovtofficialUSA
      @EnclavegovtofficialUSA Год назад

      ....?

    • @Sherolox
      @Sherolox Год назад +1

      @@EnclavegovtofficialUSA
      It's a reference to the sultry tone of the Bluetooth speaker's voice.

    • @Evan-hm7tz
      @Evan-hm7tz 9 месяцев назад

      ​@@Sheroloxthe lustful tone :)

  • @jamesdisnow
    @jamesdisnow 2 года назад +109

    "JESUS YOUR SO KIND THANK YOU" hahaha gets me every time.

  • @tombolenbaugh4030
    @tombolenbaugh4030 2 года назад +57

    I was waiting for Frank to offer him an apple.

  • @melted_pistons
    @melted_pistons 2 года назад +215

    The Monty Python clip was enough to convince me that I NEED to meet this man at least once in my life

  • @kevlikesmovies4442
    @kevlikesmovies4442 2 года назад +22

    This is probably the one instance in which the cheap nuggetphones actually make sense. I mean, what does it matter if they're all mids when you're just gonna be using them to listen to a guy reading the bible at you?

  • @peter.j.07
    @peter.j.07 2 года назад +65

    This is some strong 'chaotic good' energy you got going on here, Wade. I'm here for it.

    • @peter.j.07
      @peter.j.07 2 года назад +3

      @Quark Bro, who hurt you

    • @pinhead7422
      @pinhead7422 2 года назад

      @@peter.j.07 Yo I've been seeing people @ing this Quark guy in all the reply sections but all of Quark's comments are gone now, deleted. What kinda stuff was that person saying?

    • @peter.j.07
      @peter.j.07 2 года назад +1

      @@pinhead7422 It was a long rant about how all religions are false and how he hates religious beliefs.

    • @pinhead7422
      @pinhead7422 2 года назад

      @@peter.j.07 Ah, I see.

  • @The_Plague_Doctor
    @The_Plague_Doctor 2 года назад +48

    Did he really just blow up "holy" stinkphones with the devil? That is just to perfect!

    • @The_Plague_Doctor
      @The_Plague_Doctor 2 года назад

      @Quark damn bro, I was just making a joke. I don't believe either.

  • @dietznutz1
    @dietznutz1 2 года назад +131

    I wish I could blank my memory so I could rediscover and watch this wonderful channel all over again.

  • @alex_mcburney
    @alex_mcburney 2 года назад +52

    This comment sections is WAY more calm and kind than I expected it to be.

    • @EnclavegovtofficialUSA
      @EnclavegovtofficialUSA Год назад +7

      There are specific types of people who watch this content. They aren't of the type that types slurs in the comments.

    • @alex_mcburney
      @alex_mcburney Год назад +1

      @@EnclavegovtofficialUSA fair enough

  • @KarlRadekBonk
    @KarlRadekBonk 2 года назад +70

    I love that he’s so shocked by how many chapters are in each book 🤣🤣🤣

  • @dungeontomato2688
    @dungeontomato2688 2 года назад +57

    "Lets have the uh, prequel?"
    I friggin lost it at that part! I never would have thought to call the New Testament the prequel, but now that i think about it, it really is fitting lol. Great Content!!!!

    • @hypertech116
      @hypertech116 2 года назад +1

      It kind of is.
      Old Testament is the prequels, the Gospel is the main thing, and the other New Testament books are the sequels.

  • @venom06d26
    @venom06d26 2 года назад +34

    9:45 apparently... God is unhappy.

  • @PerfectProtagonist
    @PerfectProtagonist 2 года назад +15

    0:20
    I've heard stories of kids getting attacked like that (but with bibles instead of backpacks) in religious schools for not being religious.

  • @ABCEasyas--
    @ABCEasyas-- 2 года назад +44

    You forgot to mention the worst “sin” of all: it has just two lines of text on the screen

  • @iseneau27
    @iseneau27 2 года назад +36

    2:45 This is the best the AAA scream has ever sounded! Change my mind!

  • @venom06d26
    @venom06d26 2 года назад +31

    10:37 like its his first time hiding a body

  • @eli.se_
    @eli.se_ 2 года назад +8

    Its really nice how considerate he is. We need more people to be respectful like him.

    • @olivercharles2930
      @olivercharles2930 Год назад

      We need more people critical of the biggest cult known to man