Building Zion Relationships, with Heather Linchenko
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- Опубликовано: 15 апр 2024
- Meghan is joined by author Heather Linchenko as they discuss her recent book, "'I Meant Well' and Other Words That Kill Relationships." Topics include:
- The Implicit Commandment
- Prioritizing Love Over Tradition
- The "Fight Cycle"
- Contending Righteously
- Redefining Zion
-The Evolution of Our Transformation
Heather Linchenko was raised in a Christian home in Idaho, the eighth of ten children. She served as a missionary in Belgium and France and was privileged to work for several years as the executive assistant to Stephen R. Covey, author of the best-selling book, 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. She married a man who grew up as one of two siblings in an atheist home in communist Russia. As she and her husband raised their five children, their polar opposite backgrounds necessitated a break from convention and tradition, emboldening Heather to break ground on a garden of fresh ideas. Her greatest passion is helping others create a culture of laughter, learning, and openness in the home.
She mutinied against today’s broken approach to teaching math to young children by creating a truly new and compelling times tables product/program (for kids as young as 5 or 6) that creates in them a flexible, math-ready brain and a belief that they are smart [MathHacked.com]. She loves to see young kids thrive on the addictive feeling of success.
She has authored three books: Letters from Kazakhstan, which details her family’s 1998 adventures in post-Soviet Kazakhstan; Mom! You’re Working Too Hard, which teaches parents and teachers how to educate children in a way everyone loves (no resistance!); and [hot off the press] “I Meant Well' And Other Words That Kill Relationships, wherein she shares a wealth of knowledge on how to make bad relationships good and good relationships vibrant. As time permits, she enjoys mentoring others through their relationship conundrums.
She has developed a one-day intensive training called “Expand Your Influence” wherein she trains busy executives how-through the development of specific mental and verbal relationship skills-to fast-track their way to greater personal and business success. One of her greatest compliments is to have been referred to as “the relationship scientist.”
Her central guiding quote is: “From the closed-mindedness that won’t accept new truth; from the laziness that will accept half-truth; From the arrogance that thinks it knows all truth; Good Lord, deliver me” (Kenyan Prayer).
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An excellent book that bears this out is called “confronting without offending “ …so worth the read.
This is all wonderful. I do feel prompted to add for whomever needs to hear this- it is okay to “jump ship” when there is severe abuse. You can love and forgive someone from a space of protection for your physical body.
I very much agree with you about it being okay to "jump ship" when needed to preserve your physical or emotional well-being. Thank you for pointing that out! Wish I'd have remembered to tell that side of the story on the podcast. I like to say that it's not flaws that destroy relationships, it's unwillingness. Unwillingness on the side of the other person is the thing that makes boundaries at some point and on some level necessary. (There's a detailed section about boundaries and relationship caveats in my book.) The other thing, however, that can take relationships down, or at least keep them from being vibrant, is naivety. Too many of the "relationship mistakes" we make in our well-meaning efforts, we don't even know we're making!
As I have struggled in some of my relationships with my teenage children I have often been prompted lately to see things as though I’m the only one being tested or held accountable in my interactions. Like in X scenario, what if I was the only person being tested and the other person is just here for me to learn from? I know that isn’t actually the case, but the thought exercise helps me to remember I can only control myself and that’s where my accountability is. I love the way she confirms this mental exercise and explains the concepts and principles in ways that help me understand better why I was guided to see things this way.
This is exactly what I needed to hear today. I have definitely been feeling this from the Lord. I’ve been praying to the Lord for creating a peaceful home, I know this is the answer to my prayer.
I also really struggle with running away from conflict because I don’t want to say hurtful things but my kids don’t know how I feel and now I see how that might be just as damaging 😊
Charity is the pure love of Christ. We love those that are hardest to love, not because it’s the right thing to do, but because we genuinely want what’s best for them. Thanks for reminding, it starts with us!
YES YES YES thank you Sister Linchenko
Excellent! At minute 33:00 my mind blew! I see myself a little clearer now. Thank you for sharing! I will be getting at least 1 of Heather's books.
She is so awesome. Thanks, Meghan. I will add - the Doctrine of Christ is the key to learning how to be at-one with God, others, and ourselves. It is the application of Christ's At-one-ment. Praise YHWH!
This is shadow work, which is necessary to accept and love oneself fully. Once we accept and love ourselves it is so much natural to accept and love others.