1. Chuck Norris built the hospital he was born in. 2. When Chuck Norris was born, he drove his mother home from the hospital. 3. When Chuck Norris left for college, he sat down with his dad and said, “You’re the man of the house now.” 4. Chuck Norris was once bitten by a king cobra. After five days of pain and agony, the cobra died.
A few of my favorite Chuck Norris facts... 🤣😂 Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch, HE decides what time it is. Chuck Norris recently decided to sell his pee as a beverage. We know it as red bull There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold so he turned the sun up. People tell ghost stories around the campfire. Ghosts tell Chuck Norris stories around the campfire. When Chuck Norris' urine tested positive for steroids he laughed and said "where do you think steroids come from?" Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, a single building can't handle that amount of coolness. Scientists estimate that the amount of energy expended during the big bang was equal to one Chuck Norris roundhouse kick. "Brokeback Mountain" is what Chuck Norris calls the mountain of dead ninjas piled high in his back yard. When Chuck Norris was denied an Egg Mcmuffin at McDonald's because it was after 11:30, he round housed kicked the restaurant so hard it became a Wendy's
That Ghost round the campfire story is totally true! Time asks, what Chuck Norris is it right now. God asked Chuck Norris if it was ok with him if he could rest on the seventh day.
When the whole local police department was instructed to go and arrest Chuck Norris, they arrived and proceeded to read each other their rights, then lay down on the floor quietly while putting each other in handcuffs.
When Chuck Norris and a light beam had a 26 mile marathon sprint race, light came a poor 2nd. When Chuck Norris visits an auction to buy something the auctioneer immediately stops everyone else from bidding and politely asks him how much the auction house should pay him to take the item away. When Chuck Norris was born, names had a list with Chuck Norris's on it. Before he drove his mommy back from the hospital to their home, he taught all the trainee surgeons how to perform complex operations. When ever there is a US presidential election the prospective candidate that eventually wins asks Chuck Norris if it's ok with him if they can be the next President. When Chuck Norris attends a funeral the corpse in the coffin sits up and thanks him for attending and cracks a few jokes with him before laying to rest again. When buying a house Chuck Norris doesn't get an Estate Agent to value the property he just tells the previous owners to move out and tells them how much they're gonna pay him to own it. When God said let there be light when he created the first day, it was simply Chuck Norris turning on a light switch
He deserves all the love he gets from people with those loving memes. I'm going to start thinking of some opposite ones for Steven seagal. Steven seagal is proof there's a glitch in The matrix. He shouldn't exist
God was betrayed by his most closest angel that is now known as the devil. Chuck Norris was betrayed by his worst disciple and is now known as Steven Seagal.
Chuck Norris was once walking through the woods and he came upon a bear an the bear rose up on his hind legs and growled Chuck Norris then Rose his fist and the bear proceeded to eat himself because he knew it'd be a far less painful death
IRS: "Hi, we're the IRS and we'd like to talk to you about your taxes" Joker: "Of course, of course, but first I'd like you to meet my friend, Chuck Norris, say hi Chuck"
In 2005, Chuck Norris found new fame on the Internet when Chuck Norris facts became an Internet meme documenting humorous, fictional, and often absurd feats of strength and endurance. Although Norris himself did not produce the "facts", he was hired to endorse many products that incorporated Chuck Norris facts in advertising. The phenomenon resulted in six books (two of them New York Times bestsellers), two video games, and several appearances on talk shows, such as Late Night with Conan O'Brien, where he read the facts or participated in sketches
Throughout his film and TV career, Chuck Norris diversified from his regular endeavors. He is a noted writer, having penned books on martial arts, exercise, philosophy, politics, Christianity, Western fiction, and biography.
Chuck Norris invented the number eight by making Infinity stand up. Chuck Norris can do every pull-up...and then find more. In John Wick Chapter 5, John Wick will be killed by Chuck Norris. There are no imaginary numbers in mathematics, only numbers Chuck Norris hasn't thought of yet. Chuck Norris knows every digit of pi. Irrational numbers are numbers that have gone insane from being counted to by Chuck Norris. Rick Astley once walked out on a Chuck Norris movie. He is now best known for his apology letter to Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris wanted to travel to another galaxy, he didn't even need a spaceship. He ordered the galaxy to come to him and it was too scared to refuse.
My favorite: "When Chuck Norris' daughter lost her virginity, Chuck got it back for her." "Chuck Norris will lead horses to water *and* make them drink."
Chuck Norris gets Chick-fil-A on Sunday
🔥
take it it’s closed
on a sunday? english fella
here
@elliswhitworth Yep its closed on Sundays only no exceptions.
@@WardenSpectreCommander just Chuck Norris obviously
Chuck Norris goes to work on Labor Day.
1. Chuck Norris built the hospital he was born in.
2. When Chuck Norris was born, he drove his mother home from the hospital.
3. When Chuck Norris left for college, he sat down with his dad and said, “You’re the man of the house now.”
4. Chuck Norris was once bitten by a king cobra. After five days of pain and agony, the cobra died.
3rd one's my favorite, thank you for the laugh 😆😆
Ambulances call Chuck Norris in an emergency when they need to get to hospital quicker.
Chuck Norris died a little over 15 years ago but Death can't muster the courage to tell him.
Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. it's offspring are known as giraffes.
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
Chuck Norris wears a hat to protect the sun.
Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris wasn’t born; he decided to exist
Chuck Norris has actually been to infinity and beyond.
And came back
Chuck Norris never stutter,time simply fails to keep up with his voice
It's kinda surreal watching Chuck Norris tell Chuck Norris jokes.
They are not jokes, they are facts.
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door
A few of my favorite Chuck Norris facts... 🤣😂
Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
Chuck Norris recently decided to sell his pee as a beverage. We know it as red bull
There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold so he turned the sun up.
People tell ghost stories around the campfire. Ghosts tell Chuck Norris stories around the campfire.
When Chuck Norris' urine tested positive for steroids he laughed and said "where do you think steroids come from?"
Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, a single building can't handle that amount of coolness.
Scientists estimate that the amount of energy expended during the big bang was equal to one Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.
"Brokeback Mountain" is what Chuck Norris calls the mountain of dead ninjas piled high in his back yard.
When Chuck Norris was denied an Egg Mcmuffin at McDonald's because it was after 11:30, he round housed kicked the restaurant so hard it became a Wendy's
That Ghost round the campfire story is totally true!
Time asks, what Chuck Norris is it right now.
God asked Chuck Norris if it was ok with him if he could rest on the seventh day.
@@paulg8148 Death once had a near-Chuck Norris experience.
Who is Mr. T?
@@eniscanica member of the A-Team, a legendary mercenary squad. Their pilot is a complete lunatic .
You gotta love the fact that Chuck Norris accepted those facts
I loved how Chuck Norris was always a good sport about those facts. Even embracing them
chuck norris is not afraid of the dark the dark is afraid of him lol
Chuck Norris only threw one missed punch. Death flinched.
When Chuck jumps in the water
Chuck don’t get wet
The water gets Chuck!
The cops pulled over Chuck Norris for speeding. They left with a warning.
When the whole local police department was instructed to go and arrest Chuck Norris, they arrived and proceeded to read each other their rights, then lay down on the floor quietly while putting each other in handcuffs.
@@paulg8148 that Is hilarious
@@paulg8148too long
Gravity only exists because nothing can go higher than Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris once played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun...and won! 😂
When Chuck Norris and a light beam had a 26 mile marathon sprint race, light came a poor 2nd.
When Chuck Norris visits an auction to buy something the auctioneer immediately stops everyone else from bidding and politely asks him how much the auction house should pay him to take the item away.
When Chuck Norris was born, names had a list with Chuck Norris's on it. Before he drove his mommy back from the hospital to their home, he taught all the trainee surgeons how to perform complex operations.
When ever there is a US presidential election the prospective candidate that eventually wins asks Chuck Norris if it's ok with him if they can be the next President.
When Chuck Norris attends a funeral the corpse in the coffin sits up and thanks him for attending and cracks a few jokes with him before laying to rest again.
When buying a house Chuck Norris doesn't get an Estate Agent to value the property he just tells the previous owners to move out and tells them how much they're gonna pay him to own it.
When God said let there be light when he created the first day, it was simply Chuck Norris turning on a light switch
So the mount Rushmore fact is absolutely true.
Chuck Norris actually died a long time ago but the Grim Reaper is too afraid to ever tell him.
He deserves all the love he gets from people with those loving memes. I'm going to start thinking of some opposite ones for Steven seagal.
Steven seagal is proof there's a glitch in The matrix. He shouldn't exist
God was betrayed by his most closest angel that is now known as the devil. Chuck Norris was betrayed by his worst disciple and is now known as Steven Seagal.
Chuck Norris was once walking through the woods and he came upon a bear an the bear rose up on his hind legs and growled Chuck Norris then Rose his fist and the bear proceeded to eat himself because he knew it'd be a far less painful death
Dogs call Chuck Norris their best friend and follow him in the park when he goes for his exercise and picks up his poop in a Chucky Norris bag.
I heard that bear actually shot herself a second time with the Revenants musket...less painful death lol
These are the best. Only 13 likes? Chuck Norris is going to kick some ass for this!
That’s why it octupled since then!
Chuck Norris's favorite animal was a cat.thats why he gave them 9 lives
Chuck norris scares his nightmares
Chuck Norris doesn't ask for your opinion, he gives it to you.
Chuck Norris doesn't dial the wrong phone number, you, pick up the wrong phone.
My favorite is still "Chuck Norris counted to infinity, twice."
Time stops for no one, cause it's running from chuck Norris.
IRS: "Hi, we're the IRS and we'd like to talk to you about your taxes"
Joker: "Of course, of course, but first I'd like you to meet my friend, Chuck Norris, say hi Chuck"
Chuck Norris picked an apple of an orange tree and made lemonade with it.
Chuck Norris once uppercutted a horse, their descendants are now known as giraffes
Chuck Norris burns ants with a magnifying glass. At night.
And that’s how fire ants were made
People die and go to heaven,Gods die and they appear in Chuck Norris's living room
Thats good.
Also
Ghosts gather around the campfire to tell Chuck Norris stories.
Chuck Norris played Halo 5 when the Sega Genesis came out
The sun doesn't burn Chuck Norris...
Chuck Norris burns the sun..
When Chuck Norris comes out, the sun get its other half to rub on Chuck Norris cream and wears a Chuck Norris Hat.
Chuck Norris uses the brazen bull as his personal sauna
and Blood Eagle for scratching his back.
"CHUCKtatorship" I LIKE THAT
Chuck Norris does not own a stove, oven, or microwave, because revenge is a dish best served cold. 🙃
What's so great is that Chuck Norris has fun with the jokes. I'm sorry. Facts.
Chuck Norris can make an omlette without breaking the egg
Chuck Norris is the Only person who has captured all the pokemons in the world in Pokemon Go game. He did it using the ordinary table phone.
In 2005, Chuck Norris found new fame on the Internet when Chuck Norris facts became an Internet meme documenting humorous, fictional, and often absurd feats of strength and endurance. Although Norris himself did not produce the "facts", he was hired to endorse many products that incorporated Chuck Norris facts in advertising. The phenomenon resulted in six books (two of them New York Times bestsellers), two video games, and several appearances on talk shows, such as Late Night with Conan O'Brien, where he read the facts or participated in sketches
Chuck norris kicked a rock once,now we see it evertime its night
A skinwalker calimed to watch a bull moose turn into Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can ski up Mt. Everest.
Chuck Norris can bowl a strike with a cotton ball.
Chuck Norris gets ice cream from McDonald’s
Chuck Norris can kill 1 stone with 2 birds...
Chuck Norris can divide by Zero
Chuck Norris has his own time zone
Because HE decides what time it is. 🤣😂
Chuck Norris knows the last digit of π.
Chuck Norris punched the earth for once and the dinosaurs got extinct... and a moon was created...
Chuck Norris can see John Cena.
chuck norris wakes himself up to tell himself he's gonna sleep
Virgin America airlines is no longer around because Chuck Norris caught a flight with them, now it's American airlines
Chuck Norris and Superman got in a fight once. Now Superman only exists in comic books.
Superman and Chuck Norris had a foot race. The loser had to wear his underwear on the outside of his pants.
The Grim Reaper once came for Chuck Norris but he left on a gurney.
They say there is nothing Chuck Norris can't do but that's not true. Chuck Norris cant lose even if he gives up
But Chuck never gives up.
@@Danimal1177 and that's another thing he can't do
@@zachumi7245 or it could be something he *can do,* he just chooses not to.
Jesus can walk on water but Chuck Norris can swim through land.
Chuck Norris has never seen the dark, the light is too scared to be away from him
Throughout his film and TV career, Chuck Norris diversified from his regular endeavors. He is a noted writer, having penned books on martial arts, exercise, philosophy, politics, Christianity, Western fiction, and biography.
Chuck Norris once walked through the Sahara Desert and it *dried up*
There's a sequel to 300 starring chuck Norris: it's called 1.
Chuck Norris can smell what the Rock is cooking
He can also see John Cena
Superheroes read Chuck Norris comic books
What is the only thing in existence that can defeat Chuck Norris?
Two Chuck Norrises.
When the Justice League of America is in trouble, they call Chuck Norris. Good work.🍔🍦🍟🌭🍗🎂🍦
Chuck Norris can cut through a hot knife with butter.
a flight turn back because chuck norris forgot his charger
When chuck norris whistles he causes a tornado
Chuck Norris is the 🐐, applies to all sports.
chuck norris lives in darkness because the light is afraid of him
Darkness does not exist, it's the absence of light.
Chuck Norris once had a race with time. And time is still running
I read it somewhere.😅
As a child Chuck's favorite Bedtime Story was The Encyclopedia
Chuck Norris walked to the moon
Chuck Norris launched himself to the moon using a catapult
NASA recently found a new planet. Now, worryingly, Uranus finds the Planet Chuck Norris really funny
Chuck Norris once kicked some planet, it is now Uranus💀
Chuck Norris makes onions cry.
chuck norris punched the universe into existence we call it the big bang lol
Calculators check their work with Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris invented the number eight by making Infinity stand up.
Chuck Norris can do every pull-up...and then find more.
In John Wick Chapter 5, John Wick will be killed by Chuck Norris.
There are no imaginary numbers in mathematics, only numbers Chuck Norris hasn't thought of yet.
Chuck Norris knows every digit of pi.
Irrational numbers are numbers that have gone insane from being counted to by Chuck Norris.
Rick Astley once walked out on a Chuck Norris movie. He is now best known for his apology letter to Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris cnt read, the book just speaks for itself
Chuck Norris doesn't travel his destination comes to him
When Chuck Norris wants an egg, he cracks open a chicken.
Haha brilliant
When Chuck Norris farts is why volcanoes erupt. Great work. 🍟🍔🍕🌭🍦🎂🍧🍨☕
When Chuck Norris wanted to travel to another galaxy, he didn't even need a spaceship. He ordered the galaxy to come to him and it was too scared to refuse.
Chuck Norris was born on the day of his conception, he just waited nine months for everyone to prepare for his arrival
Chuck Norris does age but he takes the “A Billion” off
Chuck Norris doesn’t age. He roundhouse kicks time in the face
SCP-682 once fought Chuck Norris. He now fears death.
Chuck Norris caught all the Pokemon on Pokemon go with a Landline phone
Chuck Norris counted to infinity TWICE!
death once had a near chuck norris experience
Chuck Norris singed a WWE contact, now the WWE has an off season
Chuck Norris is so old
He remembers when
The Grand Canyon
Was just a pothole!
When Chuck Norris kicks air it creates hurricanes.
The element of surprise one was gold
i love his warm smile 😂😂
If Minecraft had a Texas Rangers update, the Ender Dragon would have to become rideable.
As a German, I can confirm that Chuck Norris can only shoot down German planes with his finger. Nowadays they fall down by themselves.
My favorite: "When Chuck Norris' daughter lost her virginity, Chuck got it back for her."
"Chuck Norris will lead horses to water *and* make them drink."
Chuck Norris receives sunday worship...on monday
Chuck Norris can burn ants with a magnifying glass...at night.