Love the conversation. It is so needed. This complex is rampant and to save the world there needs to be many more people becoming conscious about where they are living through this complex. There is something about the patriarchy and the narcissistic, escapist culture and the ubiquitous objectification of women that makes it difficult for many men to individuate beyond the Puer Aeternus. There needs to be some rejection and a suspicion toward all the sexist imagery and marketing aimed at us before a person can truly enter the process of individuating. Inevitably when you begin to integrate your shadow you must be able to tolerate your own weakness and the feelings of inferiority we all have buried within. The patriarchy is made to inflate the egos of men and to protect them from their own feelings of vulnerability. To be charitable perhaps the patriarchy developed to protect them from the emotional consequence of all the violence that have felt they had to do to through the centuries. To be able to go into our feelings of inferiority and weakness that we have stored there from our childhood and to with great sensitivity, love and care to reparent our inner child is to begin to be a real adult. You return from that work more humble, more grounded and prepared to do hard things to live a real life. That’s my perspective as a woman who is on the path of healing my own Puella Aeternus Complex and who has been aware of the patriarchy before I ever knew there was a word for it.
This syndrome is because of toxic women/mothers. It's called emotional incest/enmeshment. Narcissistic Mothers who seduce their sons so they will not leave them. Its abuse. This has nothing to do and cannot be blamed on the "Patriarchy".
There is great psychological and emotional candor in this conversation. I appreciate the frank honesty you both displayed. I believe there are unexplored subtleties in this Jungian interpretation. In myself I see that i was overtaken by the Senex pattern in early life needing to be faux mature in an immature alcoholic family. I think there is a similar complex where the puer being parentified is stuck playing a caricature of an adult that is actually a stifled child. You long for a fantasy childhood you can't achieve because you are trying to connect to the inner puer. I hope that is coherent. Thanks again.
Hi I just wanted to say that this was the most powerful talk I have ever heard. I feel like so much about my own life makes sense now. I can't thank you enough for publishing this video. God bless you, I subscribed.
Living in fantasy (a virtual life). When I faced reality(in my 30s), I fell into existential crisis. As you said, I wanted to have a natural death soon (not suicidal) . Life became a vacuum and I felt like a dead soul afterwards. It is like some one in their later years waiting for death(Realization -the idea that your current life isn't real, and that real life will start "one day". I found it difficult to explain this to others. Thanks for the idea.
Jordan Peterson said similar to when you two were discussing not necessarily having to give your dreams up forever. I'm paraphrasing, but he said, you need to give up the potentiality of your youth, and find a frame for yourself so that later on more doors can open up for you. Which in the end, would allow you to regain some of that potentiality, and allow you to branch off and do more.
Great talk! This is made worse in modern times since social media promotes fantasy and voyeurism. We are constantly watching other people live their real lives. As a result, we constantly critique and imagine how we would do things better but never actually do it. Our whole lives have become "porn" . The Truman Show was ahead of its time.
@@ruwando The potency of the Fi function sort of has that Puer quality about it, so it'd make sense that other types experiencing the Puer state might exhibit such traits. But as an INFP Puer I guess I'm f'ed?! How would I ever know if I'm out of that state lol.
Dear Ruwan. Juan from Argentina here. You are blowing my mind and all of me brother. I am continusly listen all your podcasts and you tube. The slave to warrior. The 5 stages. The term "overmothering". This Peter Pan Síndrome. (I have named myself this for many years of my path the "Blue Prince Syndrome which is kind of the way a Peter Pan has love stories) The lust ways to true love... And so many more!! I have walked so many roads... so to the root. Specially in psicology fashion. And pummm Here you are. I resisted listen to you. Cause i assumed first was more bla bla. And you had won me brother. You use all my patterns man! Mentally. Emotionally. With women. Wooww. I am trully blown. More i listen. More i cannot beleive it. I feel so related to this very manly tetosterone phisical aspect of the psichy together with the very mental inmer emocional thing. Like Peter Pan together with a stonage Wild male. And ppfffff. This high poliryty you always speak about in terms of man woman. In myself!!! Its been and is still so Hard to in tegrate!!!! And therefore. Moreover to. CReate high polarity with a woman. Still havent reach this. With 40. Well.. If this reaches you Cannot thank you enough brother. And still havent written you a more formal email. Cause i am fioguring out what to say to you. I know 100% i must get in contact for you but still dont know why or for what... But i Will Send you big hugh And all my blessings to you
Reality is known in sensations. While sensations present, one is still in reality. Take away the senses, sight, hearing, touch, smell and taste, reality disappears. Even your thoughts will soon become silent without any information coming from outside. So it doesn't matter what you do or how you think. You are always in reality. You can't be not in reality. If you are not in reality, then you have stopped feeling and are dead. You are in reality while you sleep and dream, work physically and mentally, clean the house, play games, make love to your wife or make out in the club toilet. Everything is reality. People are used to dividing each other into groups, building hierarchies and ostracizing the unwanted. This is what I see.I can also pretend to be smart and claim that others do not live in reality according to criteria convenient to me. For example, to claim that our entire human world is artificially created. The rules are created for the convenient exploitation of each other. Nobody cares about our lives here. Reality is much larger than life here and will never be known, because we cannot even get out of the rock with puddles. When you are taught how to live, instead of obeying, determine how you want to live and what is valuable to you. Take control of the small part of reality that you can.
I get angry when EVERYONE TALKS FROM THE PERSPECTIVE ON MEN. Hello!!!!! Women have this too . It’s not only men . Is not a gender problem . It’s a human complex . Stop focusing on men
My teenage was from 35 to 47. The drunkness lead the cynical old guy to kill the puer around age of 24. But as I had the economy around 30 I searched for my teenage denied. A total holiday in which i lost part of health and dignity. Now it s a big job to recover, with responsabilities I didn' t imagine, got to be ready to be a good father and a caring son, because with alcoholism I wasn' t there.
As I reflect on it, there is a lot of sadness behind staying in the fantasy realm.
yeah man that hit me too reading the book
Love the conversation. It is so needed. This complex is rampant and to save the world there needs to be many more people becoming conscious about where they are living through this complex.
There is something about the patriarchy and the narcissistic, escapist culture and the ubiquitous objectification of women that makes it difficult for many men to individuate beyond the Puer Aeternus. There needs to be some rejection and a suspicion toward all the sexist imagery and marketing aimed at us before a person can truly enter the process of individuating. Inevitably when you begin to integrate your shadow you must be able to tolerate your own weakness and the feelings of inferiority we all have buried within. The patriarchy is made to inflate the egos of men and to protect them from their own feelings of vulnerability. To be charitable perhaps the patriarchy developed to protect them from the emotional consequence of all the violence that have felt they had to do to through the centuries. To be able to go into our feelings of inferiority and weakness that we have stored there from our childhood and to with great sensitivity, love and care to reparent our inner child is to begin to be a real adult. You return from that work more humble, more grounded and prepared to do hard things to live a real life.
That’s my perspective as a woman who is on the path of healing my own Puella Aeternus Complex and who has been aware of the patriarchy before I ever knew there was a word for it.
This syndrome is because of toxic women/mothers. It's called emotional incest/enmeshment. Narcissistic Mothers who seduce their sons so they will not leave them. Its abuse. This has nothing to do and cannot be blamed on the "Patriarchy".
There is great psychological and emotional candor in this conversation. I appreciate the frank honesty you both displayed. I believe there are unexplored subtleties in this Jungian interpretation. In myself I see that i was overtaken by the Senex pattern in early life needing to be faux mature in an immature alcoholic family. I think there is a similar complex where the puer being parentified is stuck playing a caricature of an adult that is actually a stifled child. You long for a fantasy childhood you can't achieve because you are trying to connect to the inner puer. I hope that is coherent. Thanks again.
What's a senex pattern?
@@ruwando Senex means old man. It is counterpart to the Puer.
female, at later age, animus. Book - June Singer - Boundaries of the Soul - Practice of Jungs Psychology. Pg 254, 255
Hi I just wanted to say that this was the most powerful talk I have ever heard. I feel like so much about my own life makes sense now. I can't thank you enough for publishing this video. God bless you, I subscribed.
Living in fantasy (a virtual life). When I faced reality(in my 30s), I fell into existential crisis. As you said, I wanted to have a natural death soon (not suicidal) . Life became a vacuum and I felt like a dead soul afterwards. It is like some one in their later years waiting for death(Realization -the idea that your current life isn't real, and that real life will start "one day". I found it difficult to explain this to others. Thanks for the idea.
How are you now buddy?
Jordan Peterson said similar to when you two were discussing not necessarily having to give your dreams up forever. I'm paraphrasing, but he said, you need to give up the potentiality of your youth, and find a frame for yourself so that later on more doors can open up for you. Which in the end, would allow you to regain some of that potentiality, and allow you to branch off and do more.
Cool stuff. Very War of Art. Overcome resistance, do your work and such. Puer aeternity as a form of resistance.
Great talk! This is made worse in modern times since social media promotes fantasy and voyeurism. We are constantly watching other people live their real lives. As a result, we constantly critique and imagine how we would do things better but never actually do it. Our whole lives have become "porn" . The Truman Show was ahead of its time.
Sam Vaknin has an excellent channel on psychology that is a very good antidote to narcissism and cultural fantasies relevant to this video.
Good conversation here.
Loved this conversation; we should talk more about this fascinating topic.
I feel really called-out by this. Just ordered the book
If you haven't read it, you might want to pick up The Little Prince-- she references it throughout Puer
"Draw me a sheep " - The Little Prince .
The point on imagining an entire relationship bc some girl smiled at you on the bus is a classic characteristic of the INFP.
True. Though I think I'm a INTJ.
@@ruwando The potency of the Fi function sort of has that Puer quality about it, so it'd make sense that other types experiencing the Puer state might exhibit such traits. But as an INFP Puer I guess I'm f'ed?! How would I ever know if I'm out of that state lol.
@@robertdabob8939 idk why you think you're f'ed. You always have choice regardless if your tendencies
@@ruwandono doubt my brother, Im just playing. Cheers 😁
Thank you 🙏🏻 ❤
Dear Ruwan.
Juan from Argentina here. You are blowing my mind and all of me brother. I am continusly listen all your podcasts and you tube.
The slave to warrior.
The 5 stages.
The term "overmothering".
This Peter Pan Síndrome.
(I have named myself this for many years of my path the "Blue Prince Syndrome which is kind of the way a Peter Pan has love stories)
The lust ways to true love...
And so many more!!
I have walked so many roads... so to the root. Specially in psicology fashion. And pummm
Here you are.
I resisted listen to you. Cause i assumed first was more bla bla.
And you had won me brother.
You use all my patterns man! Mentally. Emotionally. With women. Wooww.
I am trully blown. More i listen. More i cannot beleive it.
I feel so related to this very manly tetosterone phisical aspect of the psichy together with the very mental inmer emocional thing.
Like Peter Pan together with a stonage Wild male.
And ppfffff.
This high poliryty you always speak about in terms of man woman.
In myself!!!
Its been and is still so Hard to in tegrate!!!!
And therefore.
Moreover to. CReate high polarity with a woman. Still havent reach this.
With 40.
Well..
If this reaches you
Cannot thank you enough brother.
And still havent written you a more formal email.
Cause i am fioguring out what to say to you.
I know 100% i must get in contact for you but still dont know why or for what...
But i Will
Send you big hugh
And all my blessings to you
Thanks Juan🙏I'm glad it's made a difference
Regarding "fantasy" and "provisional life" (was that the term?) -- are they similar? What is the difference?
Do you mean "provisional life"? That's the idea that your current life isn't real, and that real life will start "one day".
"I put away the things of a child" - 1 Corinthians 13:11
Reality is known in sensations. While sensations present, one is still in reality. Take away the senses, sight, hearing, touch, smell and taste, reality disappears. Even your thoughts will soon become silent without any information coming from outside.
So it doesn't matter what you do or how you think. You are always in reality. You can't be not in reality. If you are not in reality, then you have stopped feeling and are dead. You are in reality while you sleep and dream, work physically and mentally, clean the house, play games, make love to your wife or make out in the club toilet.
Everything is reality. People are used to dividing each other into groups, building hierarchies and ostracizing the unwanted. This is what I see.I can also pretend to be smart and claim that others do not live in reality according to criteria convenient to me. For example, to claim that our entire human world is artificially created. The rules are created for the convenient exploitation of each other. Nobody cares about our lives here. Reality is much larger than life here and will never be known, because we cannot even get out of the rock with puddles.
When you are taught how to live, instead of obeying, determine how you want to live and what is valuable to you. Take control of the small part of reality that you can.
I get angry when EVERYONE TALKS FROM THE PERSPECTIVE ON MEN.
Hello!!!!! Women have this too .
It’s not only men .
Is not a gender problem .
It’s a human complex .
Stop focusing on men
I understand what you're saying. But my podcast is literally for men.
My teenage was from 35 to 47. The drunkness lead the cynical old guy to kill the puer around age of 24. But as I had the economy around 30 I searched for my teenage denied. A total holiday in which i lost part of health and dignity.
Now it s a big job to recover, with responsabilities I didn' t imagine, got to be ready to be a good father and a caring son, because with alcoholism I wasn' t there.