To act from our spirit involves bypassing the mind and the things of the mind. To act from our spirit is a different way of being from the mental thinking about art and philosophy. In order to avoid the trap of living solely from our thoughts, we must act. Not from a sense of duty, or because we need money to live, but from our inner essence and spirit. That can feel naughty, like a rebellion against thought and convention, but it is entirely good and therapeutic, the only way to live.
The tone of the message that I got from the man was 'learned helplessness'. His dream sounded more like he wanted some sense of control over his life, and to follow a direction that he approved, not one that he was told to follow. Which while common, can be corrected, even if it's difficult. Perhaps he was trying to appease ppl in his life yet deep down resented them and that feeling grew to become inward anger, or the feeling that his inner child 'died' at the expense of growing up. Like you said, you have to integrate the inner child and make a decision to heal and find your own path.
What this man describes is extremely common, he 's just articulated it while others don't. Men have pressures to conform and "grow up", so many abandon their true interest and predispositions to avoid being ridiculed as "childish".
It's a little more complex than that, hence why Michael went into more detail. For example, in some cases men completely suppress (or murder to be poetic) their "inner child" in an attempt to grow up (which is not a great way to go about it because this can make them rough around the edges, unable to see as much joy in the world or be playful with others etc). So it isn't just simply that they give up their "true interests and predispositions" as you say.
You present the situation as though these pressures to conform and grow up somehow force a man to abandon his true interests or his real self. This is not true. No one pressured me to "conform" in fact. But Life itself exerts a pressure to figure out who I really am and how I am going to live. It's not society forcing me to abandon my real self. That is simply a bad choice the individual makes, out of ignorance. With some wisdom, the person figures out how to create a balance between their real self's needs and the outer world. Society does not force us to take a cynical and self-denying view. Even the fact that others around us (like parents) have made bad choices, does not force us to do so. But it helps if our parents or some other people around us are not cynical and encourage us to follow and nurture our real self.
@@NegativSpace-pd6cz Yeah I guess by murdering the inner child you mean the part of you of that’s curious, enthusiastic, open etc, which is more than just your interests /hobbies…
@@MichaelDamianPHD You say “no-one pressured me to conform”, you were clearly not raised in an Indian household 😁. I take your point, I think different cultures just present different challenges.
Hi, great video! I am a Puer Eternus who is looking to reach adulthood, maturity. So the solution to heal the Puer would be to consciously adopt adult behaviors ?? while observing my inner child thoughts, feelings and emotions? in order to help him grow... Or how can I reconcile with it? How do we proceed to completly heal the Puer?
The poor man was probably given a formula to make sure he looks grown up and adult. He could even have convinced himself that he has friends just because he acted out the formula for being around some others and call it friendships or even suffer a formula based relationship just to look grownup. He must be appreciated for admitting that acting out someone's formula for looking grownup does not work although nowadays therapist's/psychologist's role is to provide a formula for life and to say that is dangerous way of approaching life isliye understandably not so welcome. But we can always say he followed A+B=C while he should have followed A+B+D=C with a smile while he just wants to die, and save ourselves from the annoying trouble.
I notice you begin with the idea he was "probably given a formula to make sure he looks grown up." You emphasize something was put into him from outside, rather than a misunderstanding that he himself created despite having access to the very nuanced comments of Jung or Von Franz. Is he just a child then, that this was done "to him" and he played no part? Did he act out "someone else's formula" or did he himself create this false formula through his own misunderstandings?
@@MichaelDamianPHD I actually understand the OP's POV. He is most likely from a collectivist society where Communal Good and stability is values far more than individualism and elders try to goad the younger ones into the ruthless grind of life by sugarcoating or giving false assurance about life. Basically a Gerontocracy where a young man feels betrayed after he has held up his end of the bargain by working hard but still has not got that elusive success or happiness as promised by the elders.
I get this and I'm aware that I have to mature and grow up. But honestly, it feels like it Is too late, and I fear I lose this comfort and also fail to how in life anyway, in a void limbo. When you don't grow with close friends and never had love, and you are now in your 30s, it is likely for People like me to stay that way forever... left behind. Suicide indeed is a very tempting option and I'm glad that Canada and Switzerland are making it available. I expect that service to be available everywhere in a few decades and it gives comfort.
Yes people with this issue always view suicide as a comforting escape. I'm sorry to say that suicide won't solve your issue, as your soul will still be alive when you kill the body.
The puer clings onto fantasies and forms of escape even when grounded in reality. It is not until he controls these forms that he can truly be grounded, in love, in reality.
I said it at 7:22 and onward. It's by working in the direction of your enthusiasm. At 12:20 I said it also, to keep listening to your inspirations and making a place for them in your life. I also said around 14:20 - to appreciate and live out all aspects of life and that includes pursuing one's artistic calling if there is one.
@@MichaelDamianPHDokay but what if you hate work, hate people and have no motivation to do anything even if it was a “passion”? Because the issue lies with the system itself.
@@reosin2536 No need to HAVE enthusiasm. No need for inspirations. During your life, something works on your nerves, grabs your attention - that's what resonates with something within you. If it is a person you don't like, for no apparent reason - you are most likely very much like that person, observe and note that person's traits and find them within you (from your behaviours, or ask those who know you, were in contact with you). But, back to "enthusiasm" and "inspirations" - if you can't see anything, can't observe, or recall what made you "tick" in your childhood or youth, you need help. Not in "professional help" (although signing up for a couple of sessions of Jungian therapy could help immensely), but outside help - somebody who saw you work, heard and remembered situations, when you were enthusiastic or energetic, or carried away by. And, if nobody like that is around - sign up for a therapy session, you will go through associations and uncover what's hidden. Good luck.
Maybe he drank alcohol since he gave up his dreams and I m almost in the same situation and same age. He said those things but how many others he didn t tell? Who knows?
Yep, sure a lot of things he didn't tell about, but the man here in this video uncovers some inconsistencies even in those things he did tell. Liking philosophy and art and ending up in sales is one. But otherwise there's little but a lot of depressed thoughts to work on, in the case mentioned.
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To act from our spirit involves bypassing the mind and the things of the mind. To act from our spirit is a different way of being from the mental thinking about art and philosophy. In order to avoid the trap of living solely from our thoughts, we must act. Not from a sense of duty, or because we need money to live, but from our inner essence and spirit. That can feel naughty, like a rebellion against thought and convention, but it is entirely good and therapeutic, the only way to live.
The tone of the message that I got from the man was 'learned helplessness'. His dream sounded more like he wanted some sense of control over his life, and to follow a direction that he approved, not one that he was told to follow. Which while common, can be corrected, even if it's difficult. Perhaps he was trying to appease ppl in his life yet deep down resented them and that feeling grew to become inward anger, or the feeling that his inner child 'died' at the expense of growing up. Like you said, you have to integrate the inner child and make a decision to heal and find your own path.
What this man describes is extremely common, he 's just articulated it while others don't.
Men have pressures to conform and "grow up", so many abandon their true interest and predispositions to avoid being ridiculed as "childish".
It's a little more complex than that, hence why Michael went into more detail. For example, in some cases men completely suppress (or murder to be poetic) their "inner child" in an attempt to grow up (which is not a great way to go about it because this can make them rough around the edges, unable to see as much joy in the world or be playful with others etc). So it isn't just simply that they give up their "true interests and predispositions" as you say.
You present the situation as though these pressures to conform and grow up somehow force a man to abandon his true interests or his real self. This is not true. No one pressured me to "conform" in fact. But Life itself exerts a pressure to figure out who I really am and how I am going to live. It's not society forcing me to abandon my real self. That is simply a bad choice the individual makes, out of ignorance. With some wisdom, the person figures out how to create a balance between their real self's needs and the outer world. Society does not force us to take a cynical and self-denying view. Even the fact that others around us (like parents) have made bad choices, does not force us to do so. But it helps if our parents or some other people around us are not cynical and encourage us to follow and nurture our real self.
Agreed.
@@NegativSpace-pd6cz Yeah I guess by murdering the inner child you mean the part of you of that’s curious, enthusiastic, open etc, which is more than just your interests /hobbies…
@@MichaelDamianPHD You say “no-one pressured me to conform”, you were clearly not raised in an Indian household 😁.
I take your point, I think different cultures just present different challenges.
Hi, great video! I am a Puer Eternus who is looking to reach adulthood, maturity. So the solution to heal the Puer would be to consciously adopt adult behaviors ?? while observing my inner child thoughts, feelings and emotions? in order to help him grow... Or how can I reconcile with it?
How do we proceed to completly heal the Puer?
The poor man was probably given a formula to make sure he looks grown up and adult. He could even have convinced himself that he has friends just because he acted out the formula for being around some others and call it friendships or even suffer a formula based relationship just to look grownup. He must be appreciated for admitting that acting out someone's formula for looking grownup does not work although nowadays therapist's/psychologist's role is to provide a formula for life and to say that is dangerous way of approaching life isliye understandably not so welcome.
But we can always say he followed A+B=C while he should have followed A+B+D=C with a smile while he just wants to die, and save ourselves from the annoying trouble.
I notice you begin with the idea he was "probably given a formula to make sure he looks grown up." You emphasize something was put into him from outside, rather than a misunderstanding that he himself created despite having access to the very nuanced comments of Jung or Von Franz. Is he just a child then, that this was done "to him" and he played no part? Did he act out "someone else's formula" or did he himself create this false formula through his own misunderstandings?
@@MichaelDamianPHD he infact played his part too well
@@pretheeshgpresannan4172 So, you do not acknowledge my point.
@@MichaelDamianPHD
I actually understand the OP's POV.
He is most likely from a collectivist society where Communal Good and stability is values far more than individualism and elders try to goad the younger ones into the ruthless grind of life by sugarcoating or giving false assurance about life.
Basically a Gerontocracy where a young man feels betrayed after he has held up his end of the bargain by working hard but still has not got that elusive success or happiness as promised by the elders.
On the last part about suicidal thoughts at older age, I remember The Death of Ivan Ilitch.
I get this and I'm aware that I have to mature and grow up. But honestly, it feels like it Is too late, and I fear I lose this comfort and also fail to how in life anyway, in a void limbo. When you don't grow with close friends and never had love, and you are now in your 30s, it is likely for People like me to stay that way forever... left behind. Suicide indeed is a very tempting option and I'm glad that Canada and Switzerland are making it available. I expect that service to be available everywhere in a few decades and it gives comfort.
Yes people with this issue always view suicide as a comforting escape. I'm sorry to say that suicide won't solve your issue, as your soul will still be alive when you kill the body.
The puer clings onto fantasies and forms of escape even when grounded in reality. It is not until he controls these forms that he can truly be grounded, in love, in reality.
Well said!
Still have no clue what healing puer is like instead of killing it.
I said it at 7:22 and onward. It's by working in the direction of your enthusiasm. At 12:20 I said it also, to keep listening to your inspirations and making a place for them in your life. I also said around 14:20 - to appreciate and live out all aspects of life and that includes pursuing one's artistic calling if there is one.
@@MichaelDamianPHD No enthusiasm, no inspirations. I have never had dreams. No will to have consciousness.
@@MichaelDamianPHDokay but what if you hate work, hate people and have no motivation to do anything even if it was a “passion”? Because the issue lies with the system itself.
@@reosin2536 No need to HAVE enthusiasm. No need for inspirations. During your life, something works on your nerves, grabs your attention - that's what resonates with something within you. If it is a person you don't like, for no apparent reason - you are most likely very much like that person, observe and note that person's traits and find them within you (from your behaviours, or ask those who know you, were in contact with you). But, back to "enthusiasm" and "inspirations" - if you can't see anything, can't observe, or recall what made you "tick" in your childhood or youth, you need help. Not in "professional help" (although signing up for a couple of sessions of Jungian therapy could help immensely), but outside help - somebody who saw you work, heard and remembered situations, when you were enthusiastic or energetic, or carried away by. And, if nobody like that is around - sign up for a therapy session, you will go through associations and uncover what's hidden. Good luck.
Maybe he drank alcohol since he gave up his dreams and I m almost in the same situation and same age. He said those things but how many others he didn t tell?
Who knows?
Yep, sure a lot of things he didn't tell about, but the man here in this video uncovers some inconsistencies even in those things he did tell. Liking philosophy and art and ending up in sales is one. But otherwise there's little but a lot of depressed thoughts to work on, in the case mentioned.