sir do not you think this lecture is somehow contradictory to the victor franklin's logotherapy since the meaning which he talks about seems here mediocrity or conformity. little clarification?
in Hinduism, the same thing is prescribed. Hinduism talks about the four stages of life(four ashramas) , Brahmacharya(celibacy and learning),grasth( social and personal life fulfilment) ,sanyas(living a life of yogi and saint), and lastly vanaprastha(leaving the social and personal life and went to the jungle, which ultimately leads to moxa(liberation) it is the essence of whole eastern philosophy, nothing to be neglected here.
*Two things:* -We really need more background than "antiquity had rites of passage, modernity doesn't". Describe how this happened over time. -Pronounce "puer" properly. It's Latin, so I'm rather sure it's "puair" (as in Pu-er-to Rico), not like "pure".
In my experience part of the problem of male adolescents facing or embracing adulthood is that their fathers had never managed to embrace adulthood either.
Exactly. The “manhood” they embrace is this disassociated worker drone that just takes whatever from his wife. I actually think society inculcates this psychology into men intentionally, in part to help put the woman over the man so that he goes along with all the top down societal change.
Neither of my parents grew past age 13. Now, I have to be the mature one for an entire family and they all hate me bc of it (they hate knowing they can't lie to or buy me anymore). NO MORE WOMAN CHILD FOR ME! I'm separating myself, maturing like CRAZY, and telling them to thank me later. But from afar. ✌🏽
Mandela's Cellmate I agree if what you’re saying is basically the lack of encouragement to masculinity nowadays leads to undeveloped men who don’t know which direction to look to and decide to just stay put in their comfort zone. Essentially they have no sort of value to go towards and are just lost in what they are told to know, which is to unclear in today’s message to young men. And for those who think what I’m saying is the same as referring to toxic masculinity I don’t think the two should be mixed. Toxic masculinity is a sort of narcissism couped with vast arrogance compared to the actual traditional righteous masculinity filled with independence, ownership and being mentally strong.
Anthony Tran I feel as a female that there are women that feel that way too, but in the sense of whatever is to come from masculinity or femininity pressures anyways, we’re suppose to go side-wards or upwards to another human’s ideals?
@@bayroncastillo7653 husband doesn't give luv to wife :wife looks to fill this vacuum by clinging/smothering the son for love. When son grows up to leave sbe is scared to lose her only /main income for love. Especially a single parent mother maybe baby. And if she takes care of him all the timr he won't leave because he feels a dependency, which makes him fe inadequate to face the world. Feeling inadequate /neuroses taking ovaaa make him stay at home, at his mother's breast for to long. The milk is sour youuu guyzzz
I'm 33 and have been living away from my mother for a year now. Currently with my brother and this video summarizes all of my behavior, decisions, and mental health for the last decade. I betrayed life. I avoided the harshness of the world and chose the path of least resistance and it has cost me so much developmentally. There are things I should know or be doing to live a more self sufficient life but either I'm ignorant of them or afraid to do it.
Ditto, now 35 y/o male although I left home early I had to come back due to unaffordability. While I was able to save up to be independent again the experience was horrible but also good as it was eye-opening as to the need to break away and forge my own path. There is no 'right of passage' anymore and I think this is what so many younger ppl are looking for nowadays, why ppl look up to the Goggins, Jocko and Tates of the world - most think they are crazy but there is wisdom and answers in what they say. Trial by fire, discipline equals freedom, the answers are in your suffering, your struggles.
@@josepheridu3322 I'm not leaving her per se. She just held me back and refuses to change for the better. If anything I'm taking a break from her while trying to make something of myself.
Spot on. I do have Peter Pan syndrome. I have no desire whatsoever to have an adult life, with marriage and kids. I cannot see how growing up is better. So much more responsibilities and way less fun. Yes, don’t come lecturing me that life is about stages, and evolving nonsense. I’m just here for pleasure. Hate my life. Been depressed for 3 years now.
@@paulohyp Ive been depressed since 6th grade, thanks to mental / physical / sexual abuse + bullying. Got far worse after high school... Don't let it ruin you like it did me. I'm trying to deal with cardiovascular problems and ED, so far the damage looks like it'll take years to undo... Just some light exercise, walk everyday, try to eat right. All of you.
I’m a woman, but I’ve been struggling with most of this myself for the same reasons. I never had a relationship with my father, and my mother was always way too emotionally dependent & overbearing with me. I didn’t fully realize this until I turned 22, and felt so behind in everything in my life, because I didn’t know how to handle real life problems, or how to go out into the world & do things myself. I’m 23 now & doing better, but I still find that the social anxiety I developed inhibits me from doing a lot of things that would make my life more enriching. This was pretty informative, regardless of sex/gender 👍🏻
Of course, the entire idea of gender roles is changing far to too quickly for this to remain relevant. As equality becomes more entrenched in society so too do responsibilities change for parents. The biggest issue is that children of boomers and gen x have parents who don't give a shit about emotional stability (especially fathers) . So we have more stress put on the mother thus the children's need to seek her comfort and approval. It's also why the divorce rate is so high. Shit men who only take and don't have the skills to give their children anything more than 'work ethic' it's literally the only thing they offer and most of them do it poorly... Thus the children having no vision for themselves or way to do it. (Obviously not every person in those age groups is trash or the world would have collapsed ) Millennials who take the time to heal from the damage caused by boomers and gen x can be a suitable family unit but only if they are able to discover compassion from gen x friends or siblings who already started breaking the boomer cycle. As such over the course of 10- 30 years we should see a plateau then drop in divorce rates and less 'man babies' or people without purpose in life.
Jesus Family scapegoat Narcissistic mom * Carl Jung, who viewed individual neurosis as often deriving from whole family or social groups,[19] considered himself a case in point: "I feel very strongly I am under the influence of things or questions left incomplete and unanswered by my parents and grandparents and more distant ancestors...an impersonal karma within a family, which is passed on from parents to children".[20]
@@4vendetta1 gen y is naturally pretty compassionate. it's why we're gen x fans to begin with. the thing that makes the boomers different is that they grew up rolling around in the spoils of wwii and feeling righteous and special about it. and now they expect us to figure that "their day" was tougher than ours is. ..lol... LOFL.
King baby or support equality and opportunity for all regardless of what sex or color you are ? Yeah I know I am responsible for myself and have others who I am responsible for. I am willing to accept responsibility for how my behavior has impacted my family and friends or friendimies. Is anyone else personally im getting over myself and realize people can only do to you what you let them. I think about the old Indian proverb you knew it was a snake when you picked it up. Fuck rejection and criticism no one is perfect but comes a time when you must realize we create our own conditions. Be bigger than the viperss. Don't fall for the banana in the tailpipe or carrot danglers. I guess music being one of my biggest influences thats where they reach me. Do theyy care ? I like to think so almost seems so. Theres a lack of trust. Neglect is also a form of abuse Im trying some def don't care
"A ship is always safe at the shore, but that is not what it is built for.” I'm 22, living with my parents, being controled at that age shouldn't be normal. These are the best years for you to discover youself and explore the world. I truly wish meaningful and free life to everyone! Update: I got out, read the reply.
It should be emphasized that only TRUE NATURAL IMMUNITY can be attained through a state of INTERNAL CLEANLINESS based on legitimate nutrition and hygienic living habits. Our orthodox medical practitioners all seek for a way to make UNCLEAN LIVING SAFE by creating a hypothetical ARTIFICIAL IMMUNITY through immunization and thus protect us from the natural consequences of our daily violations of the laws of life. - Rex U. Lloyd
@7 7 I've tried that you have no idea how far an overbearing female will go to keep you in her clutches, I've tried that and my sister turned EVERYONE I knew against me
@@crispbiscuit1992 but work ethic is something that anyone can teach and can apply regardless. As long as you raise your child to stay determined and hard working, they will thrive in any workplace. Perseverance is also something that can certainly be taught, and it is something that can get you anywhere. The ability to persevere is the ability to evolve as a human being. The ability to overcome obstacles is a necessity to become successful in todays ever changing world. If you give your kid a great childhood where you give them whatever they want without working for it, do not punish them or teach them there is reprucussions for their negative action, and shield their innocence for as long as possible, you're doing more damage than good. Those are the ones who become dependent, unaware, man children. Every major success story has overcoming life changing obstacles that would crumble a weak minded person.
Oh yes.......that goes for me to. All the things l found after l hade xecided to be a parent. So many regrets. Number one being so selfish that l even helped bring another human into the world.
My mother was the best one could have. As my father was absent most of my life due to work abroad and still is, I lacked his guidance. My mother was the only person that taught me how the real world works and how to be independent. She was the only person that cared about me deeply. Sadly she passed away due to Covid-19 this month (May 2021). I am 22 now and still have a long way to go. I feel really lonely. But I think I can become a hard working person like her to continue her legacy. My mother was a UN staff member and helped a lot of people. I wish to do the same. That way I won't be lonely, maybe. Rest in peace, Mom.
One of the most common tropes on this comment section, is self pity. Your dad was absent working a lot? No offence, that’s not that tough. In bringing this up for context. My dad liked to get violent whenever I did any little thing he didn’t like. And my mum preferred that because if he’s being violent with me it means she’s safe. I don’t like to practice self pity. We all want this perfect life. It’s not meant for 99.99% of people. The life you have is already perfect. Live it.
Sorry for the loss of your mother, that's a debilitating, terrible pain that I myself have yet to endure. You are strong and I'm sure she is so proud of the person you have become!!! 💖
Most parents suck. Maybe humanity could advance more if kids were taught parenting and other human/social interactions in schools. We aren't getting it from home. We learn and imitate the craziness we saw and experienced at home as kids. Its the blind leading the blind.
Damn. This IS America. When I ended my last relationship I came to the realization that most adults in my employment, at the bar, in the grocers, etc were behaving like a 13 year old; easily upset and focused intently on others' issues. I just wanna say, we aren't stuck this way! We can change our minds and learn new ways, at no matter the age. ♡
Ahhh-- you figured it out. It took me the longest time to realize certain High School Mentalities are archetypes you'll meet across across the years. I've met older professional folks that still retain the antics I saw then. Weird.
It’s complex, there is a whole industry, talk back hosts, newscasters, film studios, publishers, that encourage the infantising of society for its own benefits of maximum profits for minimum effort as well as maximum manipulation.
I dont see Peter Pan in that eye :) I think he actually a super hero who knows the super power within :) what is society it just a creation of collective unconsciouness in the process of accuring god consciouness :)
@@saif9amar417 we have almost destroyed half of our planet...this isnt evolution...Quality of life should always been the higest priority......ancients were smart but a bit dillusional too.....offcourse we have developed ourselves..their is no doubt..because through our emhanced senses we are now able to read the codes of th3 universe in detail...but we have eventually never been able to acheive balance between science and morality...God was the only moral compass on which the people adhered to...now people believe in the theory which sells the most.....we have become hasty .......we have lost our pateince...we are giving weak generation to our societies.who are restless and impateince...and thats not due to science...but due to ignorance.......science is the most beneficial tool...today people are subscribing to a school of thought which is most advertised instead of searching for the truth.......whether its evolution or models of the origin of the universe...we still havent concluded..to one theory which actually gives us the truth with ceetainity..without doubt....... and hope we will find it one day
@SAIF 9AMAR I think we mayhaps have moved backwards, if you look at it, the amount of people raising immature people that only waste their lives (and potentially others as well) is higher than the amount of people raising decent children. Also all the world leaders or "geniuses" right now are mostly middle-aged adults or seniors. When they pass on who is gonna be in charge of the world? The idiotic and immature people we're raising right now. Even if humanity decides to do something, I'm pretty sure it'll just go spiraling down ┐(￣ヘ￣)┌
Watching this a month after I got my own place with my fiance and about to be visiting my mom for the first time since moving out feels so good. I hope everyone can feel this, stay strong my kings and queens out there! Update: I am married now, we bought a house, got a hound, and I am going to be a Dad! I got a small raise at work too. Anything is possible y'all
If you’re in America, statistically speaking it’s only a short matter of time before she cheats and/or leaves you. Do not rely on dual income to survive not even in marriage. You have to be able to swing ALL of the bills on your own, or at least have 6-12 months of funds saved to do so. Also NEVER do joint checking. Remember she can disappear at the drop of a hat.
@@grimtea1715 That's right, love is a risk, so is bothering with soceity at all, gettinf a job, making friends, all of it makes you vulnerable. But you still got to live life. lol. Better to have lived and lost, than to never have loved at all.
@@bonelessthincrust I have been with my wife since senior year high school, we are both almost turning 30 and our love has only matured and grown, yes it is hard, but there are good women and good men out there, best way to find one is to be a good man/ women yourself, and chances are, since there are so few, that you are not one of the good ones. Look at yourself before you become resentful towards women or marriage, you have no doubt contributed to your failings in life
Sounds like you have at least one bitter person who replied to your comments @grimtea1715. Perhaps they are still in a juvenile mindset and too scared to leave their uncomfortable comfort zone. You can never get anywhere without taking a risk and resentment is more often toward one's self for remaining 'comfortable.' As a therapist, I recommend checking out some of Dr. John Gottman's work, such as The Seven Principals for Making Marriage Work, and some of his interventions including, but not limited to The Love Maps. If you genuinely put the relationship first, it will endure through the hard and good times. Most of all, stay curious with one another, learn her dreams, and turn toward instead of away your wife even when you're upset. Wishing you and your family many blessings!
As the oldest son who took care of his mother early on due to sickness, it would have been ideal to have a father who could have been more present. I was always the adult child taking care of everyone, i.e. brother, sister, wife, daughter. I was the super responsible child who in the end served his country as a Captain during Vietnam. My only support now is the VA who provides a therapist. Not sure what Jung and his group could possibly say. The only group I have followed are the existentialists, Albert Camus, and the evolutionary psychologists. It was Camus who defined the meaningful life as, any thing you do to prevent your suicide. I am not a victim and continue to ways to live a meaningful life.
I salute you soldier. If there were more people in this world like you it would be a better place. We all find our own answers. If you are satisfied with what you have found and it brings you comfort I am happy for you as not many do. I am still searching and am getting close to the cold bare truth that due to a lot of instability when I was very young I may be just wired to be always searching and seeking. It's tiring but gees it's better than being blind and ignorant that's for sure.
@@wighto73 My sentiments exactly. I remember the the book by Somerset Maugham entitled, "The Razor's Edge." It helped me understand that I wasn't alone in feeling lost when I came back home. I will always be a seeker, like yourself. Thank you for your kind words. Keep on keeping on brother.
@Jorge Hernandez-barquin good points my man. I thought the same thing but didn't care to articulate it. I mean, you have to generalize women somehow if you're going to talk about archetypical women, but it did somewhat come off as if the relationship of a child to its (stereotypical) parents was the sole reason for the phenomenon. which is definitely not the case. I can think of a whole lot of reasons that play into the manchild phenomenon.
I would say you took the father role being prematurely ripped from child hood. You became responsible for a household and steered it into calmer waters best you could. You are the antithesis of a man child.
The blending of both masculine and feminine energy within oneself will be make them a complete man. This is how I’ve felt doing semen retention since February.
Living at home is not what's making you a "manchild". It's the fact that you're being totally dependant on someone whether mom or girlfriend("surrogate mom" lol) and not taking any responsibilities of your own or job, feeding yourself, your own laundry, basic life skills.
@@bbq878 which I think has nothing little to do living with the parent depending on the circumstance, a person can be a man child away from their parents home
@@bbq878 I don't think you understand his point or the underlying psychology, The point of the original poster is that being a man-child is not a simple matter of your physical living circumstance, it's a mental development / maturity issue and lack of differentiation from ones devouring mother complex. I know many guys that are married and don't live with their mom and they are total man-children, they play with toys, video-games, their wives make 80% of the household income the "men" are marginally responsible and live in a child-like fantasy world like Peter Pan. Their wives are constantly bitching about them not "stepping up to the plate" or "not pulling their weight" in the relationship without realizing that they have married a man-child and that their overbearing mother instinct is actually perpetuating the problem. I also know guys that live with their mom and take care of her because she's old but that man is responsible and mature, has his own money, and has established himself in society already.
The reason someone wants to stay a child is because sometimes childhood was very painful and bitter and fears that adulthood is even more painful. And wants to enjoy the life you could not enjoy as a child that is why many people want to be a child. Also what this video says is true. It describes what happened to me.
Well.. for others, you keep reverting to childlike because every foray into adulthood sews you getting smacked back down. Hard. And for some reason, you were never able to acquire the strength or skills to remain standing. At some point you lose the will to even try. You WANT to. You dream about it. But you stop being able to try, because you already know you'll fail. This doesn't happen over a year or two btw, it's more like.. being a weak teenager AND THEN weak in your 20s. By the time you're 30, you're done.
“Held too lightly, love will fly...held too tightly, love will die”...Oscar Wilde. I raised my son and daughter as a single mom and based on this credo and they are both brilliant, empathetic and successful adults today. Family roles and dynamics change from generation to generation. It’s up to the main nurturing caregiver to be able to adapt accordingly and with the best interest of the children in mind and heart.
I don't have any kids, but I completely agree with your comment. I engage regularly with my neices and nephews, though. I always encourage their parents to balance on that tight-rope of security/safety vs. Exploration. I also try to practice this method of interaction. My sister's probably see me as a "back seat driver" sometimes when offering advice though which is understandable since I'm not a parent. Lol. I'm always fascinated to find out more from people like you. How, in your opinion, were you able to balance between giving nurture, while also providing authority?
My father lost both his parents before turning 30, the age at which he met my mother, and I came to life shortly after. He was born and raised in a blue colar fashion, where friendship, respect, honesty, strengh (body and mind) and persistence were of key importance. He had troubles to be friendly, but always tried, had troubles to be social, but never stopped trying too, etc... Because he had many problems with that, one of the first thing he told me when I was young was "learn how to live with other people". He also had troubles expressing his love to me, though I always felt secure and happy with him. My mother, in the other hand, had experience with children (working in a summer camp for many years) and having a tender nature. Both raised me as best as they could, yet I felt "unaccomplished" as an adult, though I had all, or almost all (a job, being able to take care of myself and my home, being responsible of others, having friends and falling in love, etc). I fould answers in books of the Ancients, and the good surprise was that their advices resembled a lot to those my parents gave me. Last summer, I came to visit an old girlfriend (from teenage years), and I think we developed mutual feelings to each other. For me, it was a voyage through manhood and feminity. I saw in her almost all aspects of the feminine : the girlfriend you laugh with, the child you take care of, the teen you learn to let go free, the adult with whom you think about a future together, the grand sister who teach you a lesson, the mother who wants to have children, maybe with you, the healer that cares about you, the magician that is in phase with her spirit and can see and feel the cosmos, etc... It was a voyage for me, because it reconnected me to my masculinity (after difficult years), and I also learnt things about myself, thanks to new situations I've never faced before. I had the impression of being, time to time, the friend, the boy, the man, the teacher, the lover, the healer too (but more on the psychology level), and some sort of parenting figure. When I came back home, many of my friends saw a huge evolution in my attitude. I was way more calm and kind, I had less fear and anger, and I felt way more open and relax to speak with people. I would say, in order to become an adult, you need good parents, but also good friends.
I was raised by a single mother, and for a time struggled with feeling unaccomplished, but I went hard the other direction at some point and, though I certainly don’t feel content or finished or complete, I have accomplished a lot of goals and embody a lot of the masculine archetypes you mentioned.
My dad died when I was 3. Life as a teenager was fucking tough because of that. I didn't know how to become a man or what becoming a man even meant to me. I'm 21 now, and while I'm a little later than most, I got my licence, my first car, and my first apartment this year. I'm proud to say I faced my fears and achieved independence.
@@hor8843 im also 21 with none of these things and i had my parents. im not even close to independence but these comments and videos are inspiring. good job brother!
@@TheRUclipsG.O.A.T me too. I have parents but seriously lacked support from and trust from them, especially my f4ther. He was physically there, but emotionally, and in terms of general guidance, completely absent. Just totally self absorbed...and out for himself. I suffered from my own delusions, and directionless-ness; with no system to manage my mind and create emotional stability, and no understanding of life's meaning and how I should live. Now I actually have knowledge of these things, I'm pulling myself out of my delusions by using these systems, and being far more communicative with my parents, whilst accepting reality as it is. Rock-bottom is the place I build up from. I don't have a licence, a car, nor a sense of true independence. But every single thing in my life has been telling me, there is only one way left to go. UP. Good job guys, hope ya'll are doing well now! (og comment too!!!)
Awesome! I’m 17 going on 18 this year (2024 whoohoo🎉), I’ve never had a constant father figure and the only model of what a man should be is my uncles and I haven’t seen them that much in my life (moms a nomad and moves around a lot). Im just now starting to read self-help books like atomic habits, a big thing I want to do is shift my identity to that of someone who’s independent, Knowledgeable and wise, and just a good man who has his life together and a good trajectory in life. Videos like this have opened my eyes, I’m hoping to get all of what you said by 20, my mom has over-babied me by not letting me get a job for the past 2 years, homeschooled me for Covid and then never sent me back to regular school, which was fine because I’ve always struggled in school and needed the chance to catch up, but the problem is that she has been ver lazy in my homeschooling and didn’t teach me. Im accepting that I’m almost grown now and need to take my own education into my hands as she hasn’t helped me at all despite being responsible for completely taking me out of the school system, problem is nobody’s instilled into me the importance of hard-work and now I can’t do the hard school stuff even without motivation (no discipline), hence me reading atomic habits now. I’m gonna turn my life around, if you read this, I hope life is good to you!
@ooOmegAaa It's very relevant, the video gives a position which could easily be taken as more than perspective. It's not a scientific fact that men have to go through distinct stages. It's a tradition, a cultural segment which has driven men to be successful in certain ways, and not in others. The video is interesting, but it's not gospel. Aurelius' quote is great here.
Yeah dont judge every situation as this being the answer to beta males to become alpha, but it is one of the secrets to humanity that many are afraid to talk about. It is fact that a weak father and a willful mother will produce weak and angry children. And all people have to overcome. Cause and effect. How can you say this is an opinion and only a perspective without offering any insight? Sounds like superficial knowledge without wisdom or understanding. I could be wrong, im curious to hear what you beta males have to say haha jk, but if you could please elaborate on what you mean or if youve meditated on this subject more since youve commented on this.
Zeb Just because something isn’t a scientific fact doesn’t mean it’s not true. This is definitely a religious fact, a metaphorical fact, or a metaphysical fact. Science can’t tell you how to act in the world.
This channel is the main spot for me to experience great paintings, I don't look for them much anywhere else. And accompanied by narration which ups the effect.
For a channel that features great art try The Western Tradition. Most all illustrations are taken from the Metropolitan Museum of Art. Here is Episode 1. There are 52 in all. ruclips.net/video/Vej22BMa-NE/видео.html
This is exactly why so many young men gravitate towards combat sports, and could help explain the rise in popularity and acceptance of it in the modern era. It’s become the new rights of passage in a way. Just saying
Combat sports is such a life changer! Makes you feel like all you have to do is work hard and you will reap benefits (and that you aren’t as weak as you thought you were).
Hey buddy do you love the "responsibility"? Nowdays that shit goes beyond pulling your own weight. Enjoy drone life maybe thats why you lack creativity and independent thought. I build and repair for my own family not people i hate to stand just for money.
@@YEET-yh6qc how can't you love the responsibility, granted its a long term commitment its pressure and takes all your time but its the ones you love. It makes me feel good. When I am not i feel guilty when i am it fills you with joy. not taking on the responsibility makes you feel like shit.
@@Dave-ps3ff i feel the otherwayaround its too much take from you and no return. I failed to see how that is rewarding like the discipline i believe those are for dogs and rewarding treats constantly. I get no treat even in the end i still wonder if its worth it. There's so much time i could have invested in small skill or long-term skill that the task alone is rewarding. I failed to see how putting yourself in bad condition for one degree that you will have to hang on in hope for the beginning which also isn't rewarding. Lie a little and you can get far.
As someone who is 30 & still lives with his mom, this video is something I needed to see to get me to realize I really have to get proactive & get myself set up in a new environment. Because I do still have a child's menatality & it's becoming more pathetic with each passing year.
Too bad they ditched the Draft. A stint in the military used to be a good fast-track to manhood and maturity, and really broadened one's experience of the world in general.
Abandoned by my mother at birth but my fathers mother got me back and raised me. My father was the figure you described. The way a father figure should be. And having that almost opposite mother complex, I am still taking my fathers lessons and discipline very seriously in my mid 20s. He passed three years ago on 6/3 and it's funny how his impact on me now verse then. Thanks for the reassurance my father was a good man.
@@chodeshadar18 Honestly it's still something I'm still working on to this day. I've had a four year relationship and one night stand, to everything in between so I mean I have a good relationship with women I'd say. But as weird as time gets I'm finding it harder and harder to believe in monogamy. And idk its weird. My dad helped me have confidence in myself when dealing/talking to women. Something a lot of guys lack. Just having the confidence and ability to keep a conversation with any, let's be honest person, period, is hard. And that's something my dad really helped me with. There is a lot more but texting over RUclips comments isn't the time or place. This video just struck a personal cord with how it described the idea father that most young need but lack. And just humbling. Thanks for letting me share with you brother. My real name is Kane.
I am seeing a lot of myself and my exes in this. I realized they're all man-children who all appear to have this mother complex, and I (a parentified child), became the substitute mother figure when we dated. Due to a lack of love and support from my own parents, I became a "devouring mother" for these partners. Now, intentionally single and learning to love life, I am learning to be less heart-hungry and stop settling for scraps
In other cultures, staying close to your family is a pretty normal thing. We only see 'living with your parents' as an issue because society tells us that independence is everything. Consider tribal societies, especially nomadic ones, where the son never strays far from the father. Consider close-knit 'family clans' that include not only immediate families but relatives as well. There are many out there who 'live with their families' and it's not abnormal or strange. As for me, I don't want a house. I want to make things. Quality things. The level of quality that people are willing to pay for. Developing my skills and talents is not 'childish'. The road to constant self-improvement is the very definition of manhood. Knowing what *you* want and going for it is also a part of being an adult, and knowing what you're willing to sacrifice in order to get it is just wisdom. The real children are those who get all bent out of shape just because someone has different life goals than them. It's my life. I'm not gonna do what you want me to do. I'm going to do what *I* want to do. Get over it and grow up.
In this culture it's referred to as weak. If a man make excuses to live "at home" past his own abilities to prove that he indeed can & will make it on his own, then he is deemed either unable or unwilling. One can buy their own home close to Family..one can even visit as often as they wish. ..a man who isnt honest with himself cannot be honest with anyone because they buy into their own reasoning out of their own ego's self-preservation. A self sufficient and productive member of society can hone their "skills" or practice their Art in the free time that they learn to manage. They just have to have the courage and the self discipline to so.
That's all well and good. You chose a purpose. Meanwhile, grown men celebrate the hugs and kisses of a heroin needle, or the encouragement and affirmation of a crack pipe.
Yup, most asian cultures stick close to their families. Its hard to break the cycle because the elders took care of the young and they expect the young to take care of them back.
For most of history, it was quite normal for a child to remain with their family past the age of 20. After all, you would have to work for a long time to afford your own family. During the boomer age, economies were growing fast, jobs were plentiful, houses were cheap, and individualism was on the rise. This was the origin of moving out at 18. Times today have changed. Jobs are not plentiful, education incurs debt, and houses are expensive. Sending kids out at 18 would be straight up immoral.
Maybe not at 18 but if your child is refusing to grow and become independent while in your care. You need to send him to the wolves and hope he will make it out.
I've seen something similar also happen to some women . In a disfunctional family the mother can also prevent the daughter from attaining her freedom and try to keep her in a dependant state , the daughter gets stuck in a loop and struggles to achieve her destiny . Yep , I've had some odd girlfriends over the years which probably says much about me too . . .
Men suffer more for it. Women do not need to be anything besides a mother herself. Society does not care what a woman achieves. The proof is that you're willing to date these women.
@@BlowitAllUp I found your comment to be reductive and more of an ad hominem attack versus based in fact... To negate or diminish a woman's experience, one that you cannot possibly have intimate knowledge of is speaking to a woundedness that I wish you healing with. Not any one gender has the " lock" on human suffering. Its impartially hard on all that are living and present to experience it.
Today with a 50% divorce rate and accompanying financial ruin, and emotional trauma, many men are choosing not marry. They remain in perpetual adolescence. Disastrous for society.
Not every man who refuses to marry is in perpetual adolescence. Many choose not to marry because they have seen the physical, emotional and spiritual toll that divorce has taken on their fathers, uncles, brothers, etc. With an estimated 60-80% of divorces now being filed by women, men are weighing the risk v. reward of getting married and sacrificing their very lives for a woman who may well send them packing and walk away with cash and prizes (child support, alimony) when a better model comes along. Instead, these men are bettering themselves, pursuing their careers, their hobbies, their life dreams, their fulfillment. They are truly independent (not codependent). They are financially better off, may be able to retire early, and really enjoy their later years. Is this bad for society? Probably, but until laws and social values change, this is what will continue to happen.
@@fouresterofthetrees287 exactly, I’m not a fan of this idea that getting married is a necessity to become an adult. The most wise and mature people I’ve met tend to be single
One thing this video didn't address is the problem of the illusion of independence. I know so many guys who have moved out of their parents home but still get financial assistance from their parents. Is that really independence? I don't think so. And I actually think it hurts them cause they're wasting all this money just to avoid a social stigma.
Maybe it isn't full independence but they are trying to separate themselves from the mother still. I'm sure they will eventually truly be separated if this trend continues.
I live with simblings in an flat while mother is with granpa 1.5h away. Is it dependence if we pay utillities on our own and each has a job? Is it dependence? Although south Europe has many generations living under same roof.
@@AnthonyArmour I forgot I left this comment and only now discovered your reply upon revisiting this video. Anyway I think saving your money by staying at home will get you to independence much quicker. Staying at home also frees you up to focus completely on developing yourself and your skills. My cousin stayed with his parents until he was 37, BUT never took a dime from them afterwards, not even for his wedding. Independence with exceptions is NOT independence.
@@s.a5332 I think that it's actually advicing people to do the exact opposite. It's so because the answer for the wonder whether another woman is the person who is needed in such a situation, leads to the understanding that she is not. What is needed is the acceptence of one's responsibility for his life.
There's a book called "Iron John" which deals with breaking the bonds of childhood with the mother, and escaping to the world of manhood with a hairy, crude creature from the forest named Iron John. This is symbolic as the darker side of a man's being, and must be embraced and understood in order to grow fully into adulthood, along with the separation of the childish safety net of mom's love. It's a good book for a young man to read and understand with their father.
@@Jespidi Good luck! 15 is still a good age if you can get through all the noise of modern day life. Young men have completely lost the rituals of separation that we're so important for tribal societies of the past. Somehow, cruder ways of living we're actually much more in touch with our needs as humans, despite the ease of our modern lifestyles today.
My dad, who used to be in the millitary, always told me recruits from the mandatory service came from all walks of life and grew together. Some very obviously needed a good uprooting to develop as proper citizens and individuals. If there was some biases in the first days, they all dissolved in the adversity of training. Now all we have in France to replace it is a single day on a military base during high school where they teach you CPR...
roktopus I agree that 30,000 per year is doable for a single person but those analysts fail to factor in two important aspects: debt to income ratio and taxation. Most people have debt (it’s virtually impossible to avoid it) and wages are taxed to death. So you could be making 30 but are really only bringing home 20 or less. Sprinkle in the rising costs of living and all of sudden you are struggling just to live. Now if you are bringing home 30, that’s a different story
@@ShowerCurtain1 I said developed countries. The US is a shit hole. Minimum wage in Canada is 15, Europe is higher when factoring for the conversion rate.
This is the biggest problem with the world now, it's that we live in a world where adults don't even exist anymore and that everybody is just a complete child
Im staying home so i dont waste money on LA prices rent so i can buy a house to start my future family. In many cultures people stay close to their family, it doesn’t always mean dependence.
Our culture perpetuates this phenomena. It is what created it. We are meant to leave our families and explore the unknown. Our culture has made us soft.
Interesting, my mother passed away when I was 10 and since I had a sense of floundering with no direction because my father was emotionally turbulent and morally inconsistent.
i have a similar experience. my mother died when i was 14, my father usually used me (eldest daughter) as both a free therapist and emotional punching bag of sorts?? i forgive him, i'm just not sure he realizes his actions. my heart is with yours
@T hddh i'm pretty open to others in general tbh. it's not like i go parading my traumas to the world, i do however speak up about them from time to time if i feel there is a lesson to share with another person. if they're just using you, they are the ones who are lost, not you.
Sorry My mom still alive and extremely fit at 89 She hasn’t had any love for me And sadistic narcissistic scapegoating mom But she loved her golden child Heartbreaking sorry I will never experience a moms love
In other words, we were supposed to learn how to rebel but do so in a way that it maximizes independence and minimizes (hopefully only) sentimental conflicts.
Tarik360 I don’t think rebel is the right word. More about creating a healthy model for masculinity. Independence sure, minimize conflict? Maybe. Standing in your truth and speaking to you boundaries doesn’t always result in less conflict
I lived with my parents til my early 30 had a great job most of my friends made funny jokes about it what I did with my money invested it real estate now I’m retired in my very early 40 now I look at my friends struggling day to day I thank my parents for the opportunity they gave me
That's great. The thing is that you did have a plan and you acted outside home, did your job, created and achieved, you took the lead by being responsible. So it's not like you stayed DEPENDING on your mums nurturing to stay dependent and vulnerable the whole life, avoiding life. You used your parents home as a leverage that allowed you to gather resources that you later use for providing for your parents, spouse and children, like a real man - provider. So well done for your parents - they did a great job 👌😊👍
That means you are a Pure Eternus while your friends are not. It's not the money but struggle in life. You maybe monetarily independent but emotionally still dependent on your parents.
@@Meson10 It happened to me once too... I think only because they missed me and somehow need me... it already has it's name... it's called "the boomerang generation"
*clicks on video* "MOM I WANT PIZZA ROLLS" *so today we will analyze the mind of the eternal child...people who do not grow up" *whoa feel bad for those sorry guys*
Some mothers choose for their child to not have contact with a ready & willing father. They treat their child as property, placing her intensions above the child.
Totally agree. Keep chasing the red pills and they turn into black pills. Wait... I’m white..... oh god...?! I think those are the colors of the nazi flag!?! 😅 😂 I’m kidding chill... :)
I get the impression this interpretation is deeply personal. Children change ppl dramatically. The best advice I was ever given was don’t judge your spouse during the 1st year of your newborn's life. There were times when I would have divorced my spouse without a second thought during the first yr of my first child's life in a heart beat. I had to remember the failures and convoluted reasoning of women who came before me. I need my man. He makes me better. I make him better. Men and women make each other better when they commit to each other's betterment. Love is real and transformative.
@@plznotnoworever1878 That’s very profound and states everything that wrong with feminism and the women’s empowerment movement. Men and woman compliment each other in a committed relationship and both can do things the other cannot do, forming a cooperative to make the unit stronger through mutual love and respect. Women cannot do everything a man can do nor can men do everything a woman can. Two distinct genders. Check your junk or your birth certificate if you get confused. Pretty simple really. 😉
@@plznotnoworever1878 what do you say to the state that gives every incentive and initiative to a vulnerable woman to act on those impulses? Families are the victim in this modern day culture war and people are standing idly by, only observing symptoms.
I’m 30 still live with family this hits hard. I’ve know I must venture out on my own, but something like fear kept me back from ever trying or going out. I just hide in video games and my phone and still do at this time. I’m shattered and it hurts my heart knowing this.
I'm in the same situation as you and I am 33, living at home. While it can feel mentally draining and socially awkward, the best thing you can do is use this opportunity to work towards your goals and increase your income. Save money while you can, considering investing in stocks or crypto. If fear is preventing you from going out and working a job, then apply for an online job like Lionbridge, they pay 13-16 an hour last i knew. I had hit rock bottom around 28-29 years old. When I turned 30 i decided it was time to kick my life into gear or end up homeless, the parents won't live forever. As long as you are working towards improving yourself and your situation, keep your head up. Work on your financial situation, save for a reliable car and house. Investing now while you're 30, if you hold for 5-8 years, you might just be able to retire by time you are 40. But either way, i'm basically just suggesting that since you are at home, you have a golden opportunity to create an income and save towards your goals. You'll feel better about yourself as well. Especially when everything that seems unattainable at the moment will eventually lead you to where you want to be. It won't happen overnight though.
Good for you man. I know this comment is months old but I hope you’ve taken action. I got kicked out of my parents home when I was 23. I had a kid and soon to be wife. It was time. I live in an expensive area in Southern California. I could barely afford rent and wanted to give my wife a traditional household. The subsequent years have turned me from a coddled young man to a stoic household leader. I never knew it was inside of me until I had to adapt and survive. I liken it to Navy SEAL training (hear me out). The purpose of SEAL training in small part is to show people they can push far more than ever imagined. This is like being a father and adult. You realize it’s inside of you and always has been. The satisfaction and confidence that comes with this is immense and I wouldn’t trade my struggling for anything. Take the leap, you can do it. Drop the games and embrace cold hard reality. It feels better and creates the man you were meant to be. God bless.
This is afterall very theoretical and based on very sparse. Many of the reasons we stay at home is also sometimes economic. Looking at economic work such and Capital and Ideology drom thomas's picketty. Minimum wage freezes, mass insecure employment and rise cost of property relative to wages. Are just a few of the factors contributing as well.
@@isidoreaerys8745 poor macroeconomic conditions certainly don't help, but countless societies in the past have lived under much harsher conditions of poverty, yet the world-wide phenomenon of manchildren is a very modern and growing problem. Economic recessions are not at the heart of the issue.
@@thenew4559 yes but never did those harsh conditions of poverty coincide with the extreme overpopulation and the modern ubiquity of private property. In the past you could set off on your own. You could homestead. Or live off the land. These days there’s no space besides mom and dad’s house if you don’t have money. Because if you sleep outside you will wind up in jail.
Eh...a really good economy with no real existential threat does reduce "life changing" confrontations. There isn't a proper calibrating event which brings perspective.
I was 21 when I left home: left a loving, warm, middle class family home with garage, garden and every creature comfort imaginable ... which was also crushing me. A small dose of hardship and risk make the man, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Those first few hard years of life away from a comfortable home prepared me and toughened me up for what life would throw at me - I am now 55, work hard and live on a very low income and life is sometimes tough but I am able to suck it up and spit it out - those early years were invaluable training.
I hope to do this I’m 19 I’ve lived the most comfortable life I can but now it’s preventing me from making something from myself I need to move out I’ve gotten into a prestigious college out of state I hope I can go there soon and find independence
@@georgewashington9445 LOL from a comfortable life to a prestigious college. We are barely a fading shadow of the generations that came before us. Have you tried going without wifi or a smart phone for an hour yet?
@@grimeyhonkyracing3938 going to a prestigious college can be just as difficult as living without wifi in the rural farms. It’s hyper competitive and you have to learn to discipline yourself. Apparently living without wifi is real toughness while studying 30 hours a week for an Engineering exam is snowflake behavior.
They still live at home till their late 20’s and 30’s??? Obviously he hasn’t been to Italy .. a nation in which sons and daughter stay at home till their 40’s or forever
Things are changing, the economic situation is not the same in times of Jung, but still a child must learn to grow up and face the real world but with guidance
@@roiferreach100 Honestly, in a few cases it's much more of a sound argument to stay at home if you save that money towards a future investment. It can be the more adult decision in that case.
It depends, ive seen that if you live with a si gle mother (including myself) you need to get out. The manipulation will happen its just identifying it
By the time I was 15/16 I had already separated myself from my mom. She seemed more dependent than I did, and it only drove me away. My dad and I have always had a decent relationship, but I realize now that he never taught me to bounce back from adversity. He never taught me how to rise above. My parents are very angry people, my dad in particular. They even are spiteful of god for their shortcomings, including only being able to have one child. I realize now this is why I have a tendency to fall back on my bad habits and feel defeated without trying at all. I haven’t lived with them in 2 years, and I try to take as much responsibility for my actions as possible, maybe I’m taking too much.
@Shreyas Misra I do think there are similiar key developments in women during adolescense. there were also rites of passage for women, by the way, albeit different. the erosion of the "grand entrance" or introduction into adulthood is interesting for sure. though you will still find such rites in the modern world, just more rarely. think for example of Koreans having drinking rituals for job promotions, or all-male fraternities and their weird rites of initiation.
@Shreyas Misra Its neither required for either. But as we have seen the man-child is greatly setback. Alike the Woman who wishes to stay a little girl forever will be greatly setback. In both cases it is dangerous in their own ways, to the individual and to the society greater.
Indeed, we all know the oedopeus complex. Jung himself made the Alexa complex for the girls, but being a masculine society we focus study and energy focusing on the men therefore becoming more apparent. But it is easy to see the young women to still see themselves as little girls and have an affinity towards feeling small and young. Complexes like these play out in porn with the Teen category for example, or the milf category for example. In fact most porn can be anal-yzed as a complex.
Very true because a notice a lot of women that act like children and are emotionally chaotic/neurotic. But society attributes that as being feminine and of course the patriarchy. Lol but when men don't amount to the masculin archetype your perceived as a loser.
Mr. Human that is called growing up. You are redundant. Self realization is an experience. I guess you did not understand the video. It describes the psychology of a mature person. Further experience is just that further experience. The essential growing up does not need further growing up. You could say there is growth in other experiences in life, but essentially a mature person is grown. Mr Human your kind of thinking will keep a person in the hairy vagina.
@@andrewfrancisco2327 self realization is the growth of ones needs,it is a stage in maslows hiearchy of needs,but I don't think you are grasping what I said,I thought the video was about a man child not about a mature person
@@MrHumanforlife No I grasped everything you said and came to my conclusion. I have no further interest in debating this issue because I am satisfied with my conclusion. Take care and good bye.😀
@@andrewfrancisco2327 what he said is perfectly relevant. Growing up is just a process to Maturity. Everyone is involved in that process throughout their Life but not everyone gets close to their full Maturity potential and that's what differentiates an Adult from a Child with most people just being stuck somewhere in the middle of it i.e., the quintessential Man-Child or as Immature Adults as I see it in the World today.
Excellent. For all who watched this, to go deeper, pick up a book called “King, Warrior, Magician, Lover: Rediscovering the Archetypes of the Mature Masculine.” It delves deeper into the content the team here has wonderfully laid out in video form.
@@lipcioful no, it's mostly in layman's terms. Out of this one particular book, they are 4 other separate books dealing with each archetypes in depth. It's a road map from being boyish immaturity to male maturity.
Homelessness was the best thing to happen to me. Matter fact, I don't want to associate with people that have never hit rock bottom. They haven't a metric, they haven't a dog in the fight.
I shared this with my 25 yr old son. Women and Men raising boys should be lectured on this subject. I dated men with man-child complex and I kid you not, I felt like a mother to them. My ex husband at the time of our marriage wasn't just useless as a father and as a husband but also as an individual. His attachment to his mother surpassed anything I thought I've seen until I met 16 years later the man I believed I wanted to marry. This last one has the " Oedipus Syndrome" it was a true nightmare. His mother was "in-love" with her own son to the point of dating a man 18 years younger which had all the physical traits of her son. It was truly sick and twisted. And I see it day by day in everyday living. Men afraid of growing up, always seeking in another woman a safety net because they are terrified of facing the world on their own. And women are no didferent; those who grew up overprotected, never learned to face challenges, turned submissives and never learned to think for themselves, therefore seeking much older men with their unsolved "daddy issues". Sadly nothing has changed much and we keep raising men-children.
We don't have a overly submissive women issue currently..we have cocky, loud..too dominant masculine women in the current generation and soyboy feminine men who unknowingly encourages such behaviours of women.
Now do the intermeshed Mothers/daughter relationships…the narcissist Mothers who demean their daughters to the point where the daughter thinks she can do nothing w/o her parents around to oversee while she simultaneously complains about it.
so basically to avoid your child from growing up into a chris chan, your dad must be emotionally present and generally a good dad, who gives the child skills that help him/her like paying taxes and getting a job and finding a place, alright there we go
Sometimes your father can be right at home & neglect you. Been living with my family & despite my father being genius academically with an engineering degree he never taught me anything of use. Not once he taught me even basics of driving a car despite I told him to.
You don't need skills to pay taxes. You need the skills to be independent like cooking, cleaning, being responsible with your time, learning respect. The fact people don't know what skills they need is the reason they don't know where to start growing up
The most terrifying experience for me was the lacks guidance. My dad was busy so mom took the most part of my education. She was a teacher so naturally I was so good in school. When you were surrounded by praise and occasional disciplination, you just follow instruction. And school didn't help much better as they were there to teach the kids to shut up and listen. Now the kids that were considered rebellious and troublesome succeeded in life while me, who mother ran out of instruction truggle to find my path. I left behind my childhood dream to follow the logical path chosen by my mom and her family. Now I don't even dare to dream and the logical path still doesn't make sense. Now I can't do anything that feels right to me because everything needs a logical explanation, which is not possible most of the time
@@healthinfo1314 I hate to say this but there is nothing new in what that man is preaching, it's just common sense. And being told what to do my whole life teaches me to realize when a man is preaching without substance very quickly. Just because I'm struggling against one indoctrination doesn't mean I will follow another one that doesn't have a good explanation
sure, but you can only blame others so long. get out on your own and to the damned thing or you will keep being nothing. mama's boys truly are pathetic and garner zero respect.
I remember having to separate mindfully from my parents. They would continue to try and support me but I rejected it so I could make my own way. I needed the consequences of my mistakes to drive me to become better. Where there is an abdication of responsibility there is opportunity.
Its because its mainly a male psychological mind set, male and females have a different psychological make-up so you will have certain mind sets and mental conditions that will mostly be in either male or female. I would guess that the female version though to be a "daddy's girl", the ever young female who relies heavily on her fathers credit card, reassurances and promises of always being protected and looked after.
@brom head12 I wouldn't say they "avoid" it, technically women don't have to grow up, they go from being provided for as kids to being provided for via marriage partner. Which is why some act childish and entitled. Though having kids forces women to grow up, as now someone is literally depending on them for survival. Men many times more, in order to be successful in life, have to learn how to be independent, self sustaining, then capable of supporting others, if they wish to get married. As most women don't go for the Peter Pan, living in his parent's home playing videogames all day. And therefore, there's a need for the man to go off and "become his own man", to leave the safety and comfort of home, face the dangers of the world or the struggles of working and making his own living, to become a better and more capable person. Both are needed, mothers for the safety and comfort of home to return to when life gets too hard, and the father to encourage the kids to keep going, instill some grit, and learn how to get things done on your own, etc. When fathers are absent or when they're told (directly or indirectly via media, blaming of men for everything, etc), then they may disengage and you don't get that interactivity. And in general since men are the one's expected to work full time to provide for the family, they naturally can't be as involved with family. In my estimation, too much motherly influence is more likely to produce kids who are scared of the world, scared of criticism or of red ink on papers, scared of sauce on college cafeteria food, need safe spaces cause they're afraid of dangerous ideas rather than having an openness to learn and discuss them, want the government to just take care of them, may not take responsibility for their actions, etc. Some of this is tongue in cheek, but reflects how some people are trying to de-masculinize society/kids via education/media. Preferring emotional arguments over facts. Both masculinity and feminity is important, but too much of one over the other makes it harder to produce a balanced person. We need empathy, but also a drive to push forward and struggle to achieve our dreams, as they won't just be handed to us. We need to learn to be directly what we're thinking, and not just beat around the bush. Etc etc
@Jonathan S Templeton pt2 to be fair tho, most men prob are attracted more to girls who are happy and carefree, rather than women who become more like men and are grumpy or stoic or heavily affected by the cares / weight of the world. I think mostly men want women who can be happy, but also be responsible, grateful, not entitled, and largely loyal if men plan to commit/marry them
I think it's still a thing. I came to the comments section looking for some info on the female version of this. Obviously a woman is going to have a different necessity for a rite of passage than a man, but there still has to be some kind of individuation and independence from her parents.
May as well share my story about this. I was abused as a child and kept it secret from my parents. When I was 20, I went to the city and landed jobs, highly skilled. But had no idea why I was miserable. I had made mistakes and the men in my life shamed me so drastically, that I moved away to live with my sibling, but basically gave up. I wish they never let me. Eventually, I ended up back at my parents property. I got a job, held it for years and have provided for my own meals every day and earn my keep. I've focused on my healing since then, but it's a middle ground of survival and comfort. While I make my own meals, I don't have the motivation to get my driver's license and currently rely on my parents for rides on the rare occasion I leave the house, because the city spoiled me. I feel so miserable about that fact. I miss that short 2 years of independence, I felt so liberated but naive... and the pain and damage (physical and mentally) that came with living like that was too much. And I sympathize with many here who truly never grew up. It's worse when you try and get burnt so terribly you never want to go back out. Still, preaching to myself: Just do it, force yourself out there. I'm trying to muster up trust to trust anyone again. But I've been burnt so many times. My parents are reminders that there are indeed selfless people out there, but sometimes I wonder if that's just because I'm their kid. I still have yet not to be screwed over for my authenticity. Anyway, thanks for this video.
Shit my dad left me when my mom died when I was 8. Seen him sparsely since but drugged out on hard shit or drunk..20 now living with my grandma saving money to move out and go to school again..this is what I needed to hear man fr.
Yeah, i was thinking the same thing. After my mom divorced my step dad, she left the house. Leaving me with a man i’m not even related to. I ended up moving out as soon as i was 18. I’m not even close to my parents.
I recently stumbled upon this channel, watched one video, and immediately subscribed. I have been a student of psychology, philosophy, mythology, science, literature, music and visual arts most of my life. I cannot adequately express how valuable this channel has been to me nor how much I appreciate it. You people are doing some truly great work. I have read the works of many of the thinkers you cover, and you brilliantly and rather succinctly summarize their ideas. One of the things I most appreciate about this time in which everything Orwell and Huxley feared seems to be coming to pass is that at least mental health has become a subject that is finally being discussed openly with much less stigma. The autocratic, dictatorial, authoritarian political regimes around the world seem to be if not entirely crumbling then at least facing dissent. I read these governmental structures as macrocosms of the tyrannical microcosms of far too many people's primary familial narratives. This too shall pass, thank God. Again, thank you. Keep up the great work! : )
My husband and I left the comforts of Canada to live in Cape Town in S.A.. This was to give our baby boy a chance at becoming a good man (sexual orientation isn't important to us). By showing him what struggle really is and living in a society where fathers still exist in the family unit, he will hopefully become a contributing member to any society.
This is truly unsettling. I'm nearly 40 and my parents were wonderful. But so much of this applies to me in a way I never really saw until now that it's scary.
living with your parents does not necessarily mean being dependent on your parents. in fact in some cases it's reverse or mutual. ie: helping your parents. I know many people that have a family and a job and live in the same house as their parents, not because they can't support themselves.
Van Ng And that is precisely why Asians usually have the tightest families and communities and don't need to venture outside of it much for their necessities. The exact opposite is true for the European model (esp in the USA) and the cultures that follow behind them. It's every man for himself and family is something outside of oneself.
Iiving wit ur parent will cripple u sorry to break it to u guys tht just part of being an adult by staying wit ur parent u hinder urself and ur growth. Second wat the point of working if u staying wit ur parent
by feminism for example. they whine all about privileges and giving them more each day. just like a tiny whiny daughter asking her dad (the unexisting "patriatchy") to give her what she wants as soon as she asks for it.
@@connorbalisky1827 - It's not outdated. It's the same cycle repeating itself since the beginning of time. Evolution is false. We keep making the same mistakes as our earliest ancestors did. All you have to do is observe how animal families work to see that a lot of what Jung said works with them as well. Mothers encourage their babies to leave the nest. She gently teaches them until adolescence & gradually distances herself. If some adolescents are too clingy & refuse to leave, many will often kill them as they do with defective babies. It's the parents' job to raise their kids properly & many have neglected their proper roles or abandoned their kids altogether for pleasure-seeking. And now we have 3 generations of wo/man children that are almost completely lacking in common sense & critical thinking. Destroy the family, destroy the culture. The key to that is destroying the man's role as the gateway to society. That's how invaders & totalitarians work within society to bring it down - via communist style subversion, which the left has been doing for decades. Instead of raising their kids with them nearby, fathers have been absent since the industrial revolution & the children are ripe pickings for a totalitarian state to indoctrinate them to favor the govt over family. "Daddy's absent & mommy can't take care of you? Why you can just mooch off the state (other tax payers) for the rest of your life - which is how leftists get citizens to keep voting for them. Despite all the social programs & promises, people are even poorer than they started while the leftist politicians have grown in wealth from their many "charity" scams.
anna kleopatra good for you if your comment is real. Here’s what to do: Balance. If you had a real and steady awesome guy and some stranger tried to hurt you should he try to protect you with the man violence and upper body power and his 17X higher testosterone? Or should he hide and maybe call the police and you can wait 8 or so minutes for protection to possibly show up? If you say yes... he should protect you... fine. Good. Traditionally reasonable for most men. What is your female balance equivalent? What’s a special female skill or power zone you could give? Cooking? Cleaning? Tending to? Total Loving & Sexy Blow Job of deep respect, care & service? Showing a high level of power loyalty? These things could cost you inner change, you might also like doing it but feel confused due to programming... almost all my American gf’s bragged about not being able to cook or their non need to be “caring”. Here’s what I thought: 1- shes weird to be happy to not have a needed life skill 2- it’s okay I know how to cook for me and for her 3- she must eat like shit at home 4- she can’t cook me home made healthy soup if I got sick 5- I should not care if she can cook and I should be independent like a women wants to be independent... I don’t need a woman for anything... but I know how to cook. I’m more woman than she is... weird. 6- this is stupid it doesn’t matter but I feel weird I am a great cook and she burns toast... can she sow? Could she mend a clothing item for me and give me love like that? It doesn’t matter 7- she’s going to look old quickly and get a bad body because I can’t cook every meal for her and she’s gotta eat like shit 8- I now don’t see her as wifey or mother vibes but I do see her as a teenage 13 year old who complains for dinner 9- wow my mom knows how to cook and do motherly and womanly things and I really admire that 10- she can’t feed our kid later... I bet she won’t want to breast feed either... 11- she’ll say she will want to breast feed and then “won’t/can’t” some reasons and fabrications 12- the kid will be under nurtured and she’ll think it’s cool and modern 13- she may be like a wire monkey when it comes down to it or she may not be totally cold ? 14- I could teach her to cook but she may not want to be told anything or told what to do hyper sensitive... 15- mind shuts down... I’m a great cook and I can protect both of us... I’m better because I can do most all the skills of both genders traditionally... what’s the point of all this? Will she be a friend with benefits since the wife energy isn’t really their? 16- will she be faithful oh wait that’s kind of more traditional energy... maybe it will be cool to show she’s tuff by cheating and not needing a man (aka safe family building with truest partner)... 17- oh look, she’s laughing after I asked her to make us toast... she burned it again and is signaling her disdain for crafting delicious food for us... I never burn shit when I make us food so she will be impressed and like it, me, and or be happy eating it... I’m such a bitch for being good at cooking... 18- she likes flowers but probably won’t be good at gardening either so we’ll or I’ll just pay for gardener or I do it myself... while she “watches and laughs ironically drinking wine or margaritas”... 19- it’s getting hard to see logical reasons to pair bond even though I “feel” I want to long term pair bond... 20- no fault divorce means I can do mega well financially, she has one kid while a pay for it all working super hard to make us all safe and happy... she can cheat on me and not even hide it and if I blow up and scream at her like what the fuck it’s spousal abuse but she can fuck in our bed and I’m bad if I beat her him or the camera man up (jokes)... I’m supposed to not react and be peaceful. 21- I now have to pay her money for potentially 20 years while she ignores me except for making high cash demands from time to time... so I pay n get nothing...while she has new boyfriends... 22- maybe l get lucky and none of that will even happen at all 23- maybe it will all happen 24- maybe some of it will happen... and it will always be my fault just because... I’m a man. This toast tastes really burnt. Let’s go out and buy burritos... sure babeZ, again. No it’s cool... I’ll cook again. Then she says... your not really like a real guy.................................... !So I dump her! See? I’m not like a guy (lol). I dumped you and now you stalk me, crying, apologizing... saying you’ll be better and you’ve learned... bitch can you cook? See, You didn’t learn shit. (Humor). Point is. Bring pussy n good looks to the table gets dates n sex... but if you don’t bring real relationship skills, cool things, real hobbies, if you can’t self entertain... wtf is the point. Your a liability in today’s legal / economic world. I run a whole house hold on my own. I got the chick skills down. I got the guy skills down. Why craft a family unless I’m 1,000,000% into it this shit looks dangerous n with massive failure rate due to “bored chick syndrome” & “I don’t care about family female preferences of independent but still wants a wedding experience”... aka to divorce is preceded by the wedding. Think about it miss Greek girl who lived in Egypt for a long time n rules shit (kleopatra) If you don’t desire to be a wife, do wifey things, and grow old together... and build the relationship, my life, your life... what’s the point? Isn’t it hot when your guy runs from a spider in the corner of the room? N you have to kill it cus he won’t, it’s icky...😂. That’s how we feel about you when you don’t cook, clean or do chick skills stuff around or for us... we don’t say it... we feel it... we visualize the lack of it but then the fear of legal bs if we’re with you long term... it’s subconscious... I can communicate it, most can’t. I’m a Chad. If your not a trad Stacy why would I or how could I be brought into marriage or so forth? My relationship standards are very high. I can keep my promises. I trust me. I know how to suffer with out breaking. I can dance. I can sex. I can let go... I can lead now... finally... got that skill after world tells me no, it’s wrong... So what do you bring that I can’t live without? Or that I would find deeply soul satisfying over time? Why risk my life to guard you if need be? Why buy a insurance policy and make you the sol Benefactor? Lol, maybe ide kill me too for a million?-) payout. I think Kleo that steady love will be very rare in the future. Like a chosen skill n select hobby type thing. The organic flow is not going to just happen any longer for modern people. It must be crafted. Learn to cook. Learn to nurture. Want to have grand kids. Respect steady culture and traditions. Don’t have ho’s for friends female. Don’t have men around who lack discipline or who complain allot or who have low ambition n bad follow thru. Bad boys over time need discipline n if they are moody n lack it... they are garbage to your long term safety n happiness, don’t fuck them. Good guys without flair n passion will be boring n drive you sorta nuts but can be tolerated if your very very spiritual other wise you’ll dislike them... The love of your life will be a bad boy who’s disciplined... crafty and unorthodox... he’ll be both exciting n boring. That’s the real. That’s the rub. Balance... but who will you be? A ho... a annoyed n bored chick... the unskilled n demanding? The disloyal n sexually cold or finicky? The unadventurous chick... the toast burner? Let it sink in. You need to be valuable for it to be viable. We don’t care about degrees or your money. We care about beauty, affection, loyalty, smiles n playfulness, caring n nurturing... fun too is very nice but not paramount, we like to feel needed n appreciated... we’ll kill n or die for those things... so if that is too much to pay then it’s clear being a wife’s wife is not for you... n you will not need a mans man either. It’s all a investment n a payout. But must be done because it’s your inner calling.
I grew up w a passive-aggressive mother, whose comforts I’ve always rejected, yet her treatment gave me very thick skin. My father is a noble man and pure at heart. He didn’t engage much in teachings of manhood, but set some good examples. For me, this resulted in a self-provoked journey into chaos, where life rendered the best teachings. Both my brother and I learned about the role of man through similar experiences. Today we are in a special position, where we are reconciling some gaps in the parental relationship and helping each other mutually.
Access a 3 part series on The Man-Child, and a 4 part series on Cultivating Heroic Manhood - academyofideas.com/members/
sir do not you think this lecture is somehow contradictory to the victor franklin's logotherapy since the meaning which he talks about seems here mediocrity or conformity. little clarification?
in Hinduism, the same thing is prescribed. Hinduism talks about the four stages of life(four ashramas) , Brahmacharya(celibacy and learning),grasth( social and personal life fulfilment) ,sanyas(living a life of yogi and saint), and lastly vanaprastha(leaving the social and personal life and went to the jungle, which ultimately leads to moxa(liberation) it is the essence of whole eastern philosophy, nothing to be neglected here.
Thank you.....And....NEED MORE JUNG
NEED MORE KIERKEGAARD!!!
*Two things:*
-We really need more background than "antiquity had rites of passage, modernity doesn't". Describe how this happened over time.
-Pronounce "puer" properly. It's Latin, so I'm rather sure it's "puair" (as in Pu-er-to Rico), not like "pure".
In my experience part of the problem of male adolescents facing or embracing adulthood is that their fathers had never managed to embrace adulthood either.
The father is the archer, the mother the bow, and the children the arrows. All are needed for a successful shot
Exactly. The “manhood” they embrace is this disassociated worker drone that just takes whatever from his wife.
I actually think society inculcates this psychology into men intentionally, in part to help put the woman over the man so that he goes along with all the top down societal change.
Neither of my parents grew past age 13. Now, I have to be the mature one for an entire family and they all hate me bc of it (they hate knowing they can't lie to or buy me anymore). NO MORE WOMAN CHILD FOR ME! I'm separating myself, maturing like CRAZY, and telling them to thank me later. But from afar. ✌🏽
Mandela's Cellmate I agree if what you’re saying is basically the lack of encouragement to masculinity nowadays leads to undeveloped men who don’t know which direction to look to and decide to just stay put in their comfort zone. Essentially they have no sort of value to go towards and are just lost in what they are told to know, which is to unclear in today’s message to young men. And for those who think what I’m saying is the same as referring to toxic masculinity I don’t think the two should be mixed. Toxic masculinity is a sort of narcissism couped with vast arrogance compared to the actual traditional righteous masculinity filled with independence, ownership and being mentally strong.
Anthony Tran I feel as a female that there are women that feel that way too, but in the sense of whatever is to come from masculinity or femininity pressures anyways, we’re suppose to go side-wards or upwards to another human’s ideals?
I told my mom to record this for me so I can watch after cartoons.
That is the best comment ever!:)
I laughed so hard reading this! Lmao!
I did not understand before the video .. lol
Lol
This comment is gold
"unconsciously manipulating her child because of her love"
painfully true.
Or deliberately, from a sense of personal entitlement that prevents her from seeing it as manipulative.
@@NapoleonCalland my mom does both. And I tell her all the time. The kids will suffer more. She just says I'm full of shit
what does it mean ?? exactly
Some men only escape when the mother dies
@@bayroncastillo7653 husband doesn't give luv to wife :wife looks to fill this vacuum by clinging/smothering the son for love. When son grows up to leave sbe is scared to lose her only /main income for love. Especially a single parent mother maybe baby. And if she takes care of him all the timr he won't leave because he feels a dependency, which makes him fe inadequate to face the world. Feeling inadequate /neuroses taking ovaaa make him stay at home, at his mother's breast for to long. The milk is sour youuu guyzzz
I'm 33 and have been living away from my mother for a year now. Currently with my brother and this video summarizes all of my behavior, decisions, and mental health for the last decade.
I betrayed life. I avoided the harshness of the world and chose the path of least resistance and it has cost me so much developmentally. There are things I should know or be doing to live a more self sufficient life but either I'm ignorant of them or afraid to do it.
Ditto, now 35 y/o male although I left home early I had to come back due to unaffordability. While I was able to save up to be independent again the experience was horrible but also good as it was eye-opening as to the need to break away and forge my own path. There is no 'right of passage' anymore and I think this is what so many younger ppl are looking for nowadays, why ppl look up to the Goggins, Jocko and Tates of the world - most think they are crazy but there is wisdom and answers in what they say. Trial by fire, discipline equals freedom, the answers are in your suffering, your struggles.
Don't leave her. This world is not worth any sacrifice anymore. You will struggle for mostly nothing.
@@josepheridu3322 I'm not leaving her per se. She just held me back and refuses to change for the better. If anything I'm taking a break from her while trying to make something of myself.
@@josepheridu3322 sounds like you are this mothers child @ 7:27
It is never too late as long as you are still breathing. You have 33 more years to live your life properly and also have fun.
It's these videos that hit the hardest on a personal level that I need the most.
I can tell, considering your profile pic.
When you know, you know.
Spot on. I do have Peter Pan syndrome. I have no desire whatsoever to have an adult life, with marriage and kids. I cannot see how growing up is better. So much more responsibilities and way less fun.
Yes, don’t come lecturing me that life is about stages, and evolving nonsense. I’m just here for pleasure.
Hate my life. Been depressed for 3 years now.
something something anime profile pic
@@paulohyp Ive been depressed since 6th grade, thanks to mental / physical / sexual abuse + bullying. Got far worse after high school... Don't let it ruin you like it did me. I'm trying to deal with cardiovascular problems and ED, so far the damage looks like it'll take years to undo... Just some light exercise, walk everyday, try to eat right. All of you.
I’m a woman, but I’ve been struggling with most of this myself for the same reasons. I never had a relationship with my father, and my mother was always way too emotionally dependent & overbearing with me. I didn’t fully realize this until I turned 22, and felt so behind in everything in my life, because I didn’t know how to handle real life problems, or how to go out into the world & do things myself. I’m 23 now & doing better, but I still find that the social anxiety I developed inhibits me from doing a lot of things that would make my life more enriching. This was pretty informative, regardless of sex/gender 👍🏻
Its good to hear you picked up in your 20s, some comments here are by people in their 50s... Good luck to ye
Of course, the entire idea of gender roles is changing far to too quickly for this to remain relevant. As equality becomes more entrenched in society so too do responsibilities change for parents. The biggest issue is that children of boomers and gen x have parents who don't give a shit about emotional stability (especially fathers) . So we have more stress put on the mother thus the children's need to seek her comfort and approval. It's also why the divorce rate is so high. Shit men who only take and don't have the skills to give their children anything more than 'work ethic' it's literally the only thing they offer and most of them do it poorly... Thus the children having no vision for themselves or way to do it.
(Obviously not every person in those age groups is trash or the world would have collapsed )
Millennials who take the time to heal from the damage caused by boomers and gen x can be a suitable family unit but only if they are able to discover compassion from gen x friends or siblings who already started breaking the boomer cycle.
As such over the course of 10- 30 years we should see a plateau then drop in divorce rates and less 'man babies' or people without purpose in life.
Jesus
Family scapegoat
Narcissistic mom
* Carl Jung, who viewed individual neurosis as often deriving from whole family or social groups,[19] considered himself a case in point: "I feel very strongly I am under the influence of things or questions left incomplete and unanswered by my parents and grandparents and more distant ancestors...an impersonal karma within a family, which is passed on from parents to children".[20]
Jordan Peterson would be a great resource for you.
@@4vendetta1 gen y is naturally pretty compassionate. it's why we're gen x fans to begin with. the thing that makes the boomers different is that they grew up rolling around in the spoils of wwii and feeling righteous and special about it. and now they expect us to figure that "their day" was tougher than ours is. ..lol...
LOFL.
Mom!! They're posting weird stuff again
Hazlitt Bawhahaha
haha good one
Thats funny
Lol🤣😂🤣😂
King baby or support equality and opportunity for all regardless of what sex or color you are ? Yeah I know I am responsible for myself and have others who I am responsible for. I am willing to accept responsibility for how my behavior has impacted my family and friends or friendimies. Is anyone else personally im getting over myself and realize people can only do to you what you let them. I think about the old Indian proverb you knew it was a snake when you picked it up. Fuck rejection and criticism no one is perfect but comes a time when you must realize we create our own conditions. Be bigger than the viperss. Don't fall for the banana in the tailpipe or carrot danglers. I guess music being one of my biggest influences thats where they reach me. Do theyy care ? I like to think so almost seems so. Theres a lack of trust. Neglect is also a form of abuse Im trying some def don't care
"A ship is always safe at the shore, but that is not what it is built for.”
I'm 22, living with my parents, being controled at that age shouldn't be normal.
These are the best years for you to discover youself and explore the world. I truly wish meaningful and free life to everyone!
Update: I got out, read the reply.
It should be emphasized that only TRUE NATURAL IMMUNITY can be attained through a state of INTERNAL CLEANLINESS based on legitimate nutrition and hygienic living habits.
Our orthodox medical practitioners all seek for a way to make UNCLEAN LIVING SAFE by creating a hypothetical ARTIFICIAL IMMUNITY through immunization and thus protect us from the natural consequences of our daily violations of the laws of life.
- Rex U. Lloyd
I was in the same position wheb I was 22. My advice is get out, it messed me up for years
Move out
Watch some Jordan Peterson. Find a roommate and rent a shitty apartment.
@7 7 I've tried that you have no idea how far an overbearing female will go to keep you in her clutches, I've tried that and my sister turned EVERYONE I knew against me
Parents can't teach what they don't know.
True especially since technology is continually evolving and the nature of work keeps changing
@@crispbiscuit1992 but work ethic is something that anyone can teach and can apply regardless. As long as you raise your child to stay determined and hard working, they will thrive in any workplace. Perseverance is also something that can certainly be taught, and it is something that can get you anywhere. The ability to persevere is the ability to evolve as a human being.
The ability to overcome obstacles is a necessity to become successful in todays ever changing world. If you give your kid a great childhood where you give them whatever they want without working for it, do not punish them or teach them there is reprucussions for their negative action, and shield their innocence for as long as possible, you're doing more damage than good. Those are the ones who become dependent, unaware, man children.
Every major success story has overcoming life changing obstacles that would crumble a weak minded person.
@@Calilou52 that's such a western style of thinking though...
Oh yes.......that goes for me to. All the things l found after l hade xecided to be a parent. So many regrets. Number one being so selfish that l even helped bring another human into the world.
@Pabriel Gomez unless we take on the point of view that we are all God, in infinitely small parts ;)
*_“I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become.”
― Carl Gustav Jung
@Cj How do you know that?
@@andraw47 Everything you do is pre destined
@@justanotherself3916 How do you know that?
'you have sort to understand..., what happened to me. Nothing happened to me. I HAPPENED.' Hannibal Lecter to Clairice Starling,
While there is no healthy way of severing ties with the past, it doesn't negate free will completely moving forward
I think this is potentially a great video, but I will need to run it by mom first.
🤣🤣🤣
mother do not aprove, it does not please her
That's gold !
@Juan Lopes Great advice. While he does that you should learn how take a joke or keep scrolling
😂😂😂
My mother was the best one could have.
As my father was absent most of my life due to work abroad and still is, I lacked his guidance. My mother was the only person that taught me how the real world works and how to be independent. She was the only person that cared about me deeply. Sadly she passed away due to Covid-19 this month (May 2021).
I am 22 now and still have a long way to go. I feel really lonely. But I think I can become a hard working person like her to continue her legacy. My mother was a UN staff member and helped a lot of people. I wish to do the same. That way I won't be lonely, maybe.
Rest in peace, Mom.
Keep your chin high my guy, sorry for your loss
Sorry for your loss ❤️
One of the most common tropes on this comment section, is self pity.
Your dad was absent working a lot?
No offence, that’s not that tough.
In bringing this up for context.
My dad liked to get violent whenever I did any little thing he didn’t like.
And my mum preferred that because if he’s being violent with me it means she’s safe.
I don’t like to practice self pity.
We all want this perfect life. It’s not meant for 99.99% of people. The life you have is already perfect. Live it.
Sorry for the loss of your mother, that's a debilitating, terrible pain that I myself have yet to endure. You are strong and I'm sure she is so proud of the person you have become!!! 💖
Most parents suck. Maybe humanity could advance more if kids were taught parenting and other human/social interactions in schools. We aren't getting it from home. We learn and imitate the craziness we saw and experienced at home as kids. Its the blind leading the blind.
Damn. This IS America.
When I ended my last relationship I came to the realization that most adults in my employment, at the bar, in the grocers, etc were behaving like a 13 year old; easily upset and focused intently on others' issues.
I just wanna say, we aren't stuck this way! We can change our minds and learn new ways, at no matter the age. ♡
Ahhh-- you figured it out. It took me the longest time to realize certain High School Mentalities are archetypes you'll meet across across the years.
I've met older professional folks that still retain the antics I saw then. Weird.
It’s complex, there is a whole industry, talk back hosts, newscasters, film studios, publishers, that encourage the infantising of society for its own benefits of maximum profits for minimum effort as well as maximum manipulation.
Thats because of breaking of traditional family and society rules.
Amin
@@bossofdeath7862 its the only place I can speak on with experience, so yeah. Why would I say that about other places? Ridiculous.
The story of Peter Pan is scary when you think about it representing a man who can’t accept change.
yet visonary :) peter pan that is:) look at the society now:)
Not just change, but responsibility.
I dont see Peter Pan in that eye :) I think he actually a super hero who knows the super power within :) what is society it just a creation of collective unconsciouness in the process of accuring god consciouness :)
Wasn't Peter Pan about the death of the kids?
(everyone was dead in neverland & Peter Pan abducted little kids)
he can change whenever he wants hes immortal
Modern world---we are more superior in wisdom
...
.
Ancient world--hold my spear
OSKESIS this coment doesnt have enough likes.
@@eltonjohnsdildo1291 hehehehe
Of course we are progressing... It is evolution
@@saif9amar417 we have almost destroyed half of our planet...this isnt evolution...Quality of life should always been the higest priority......ancients were smart but a bit dillusional too.....offcourse we have developed ourselves..their is no doubt..because through our emhanced senses we are now able to read the codes of th3 universe in detail...but we have eventually never been able to acheive balance between science and morality...God was the only moral compass on which the people adhered to...now people believe in the theory which sells the most.....we have become hasty .......we have lost our pateince...we are giving weak generation to our societies.who are restless and impateince...and thats not due to science...but due to ignorance.......science is the most beneficial tool...today people are subscribing to a school of thought which is most advertised instead of searching for the truth.......whether its evolution or models of the origin of the universe...we still havent concluded..to one theory which actually gives us the truth with ceetainity..without doubt....... and hope we will find it one day
@SAIF 9AMAR
I think we mayhaps have moved backwards, if you look at it, the amount of people raising immature people that only waste their lives (and potentially others as well) is higher than the amount of people raising decent children. Also all the world leaders or "geniuses" right now are mostly middle-aged adults or seniors. When they pass on who is gonna be in charge of the world? The idiotic and immature people we're raising right now. Even if humanity decides to do something, I'm pretty sure it'll just go spiraling down ┐(￣ヘ￣)┌
Watching this a month after I got my own place with my fiance and about to be visiting my mom for the first time since moving out feels so good. I hope everyone can feel this, stay strong my kings and queens out there!
Update: I am married now, we bought a house, got a hound, and I am going to be a Dad! I got a small raise at work too. Anything is possible y'all
If you’re in America, statistically speaking it’s only a short matter of time before she cheats and/or leaves you. Do not rely on dual income to survive not even in marriage. You have to be able to swing ALL of the bills on your own, or at least have 6-12 months of funds saved to do so. Also NEVER do joint checking. Remember she can disappear at the drop of a hat.
@@bonelessthincrust I guess... but thats the way love goes
@@grimtea1715 That's right, love is a risk, so is bothering with soceity at all, gettinf a job, making friends, all of it makes you vulnerable. But you still got to live life. lol. Better to have lived and lost, than to never have loved at all.
@@bonelessthincrust I have been with my wife since senior year high school, we are both almost turning 30 and our love has only matured and grown, yes it is hard, but there are good women and good men out there, best way to find one is to be a good man/ women yourself, and chances are, since there are so few, that you are not one of the good ones. Look at yourself before you become resentful towards women or marriage, you have no doubt contributed to your failings in life
Sounds like you have at least one bitter person who replied to your comments @grimtea1715. Perhaps they are still in a juvenile mindset and too scared to leave their uncomfortable comfort zone.
You can never get anywhere without taking a risk and resentment is more often toward one's self for remaining 'comfortable.' As a therapist, I recommend checking out some of Dr. John Gottman's work, such as The Seven Principals for Making Marriage Work, and some of his interventions including, but not limited to The Love Maps. If you genuinely put the relationship first, it will endure through the hard and good times. Most of all, stay curious with one another, learn her dreams, and turn toward instead of away your wife even when you're upset.
Wishing you and your family many blessings!
I find this highly interesting as I scratch my graying beard and drink my choccy milk.
And eat your chickie nuggies
Ha ha ha ha ha ha! Choccy milk! Still laughing!
😂😂😂
Lol
Lol
As the oldest son who took care of his mother early on due to sickness, it would have been ideal to have a father who could have been more present. I was always the adult child taking care of everyone, i.e. brother, sister, wife, daughter. I was the super responsible child who in the end served his country as a Captain during Vietnam. My only support now is the VA who provides a therapist. Not sure what Jung and his group could possibly say. The only group I have followed are the existentialists, Albert Camus, and the evolutionary psychologists. It was Camus who defined the meaningful life as, any thing you do to prevent your suicide. I am not a victim and continue to ways to live a meaningful life.
I salute you soldier.
If there were more people in this world like you it would be a better place.
We all find our own answers.
If you are satisfied with what you have found and it brings you comfort I am happy for you as not many do.
I am still searching and am getting close to the cold bare truth that due to a lot of instability when I was very young I may be just wired to be always searching and seeking.
It's tiring but gees it's better than being blind and ignorant that's for sure.
@@wighto73 My sentiments exactly. I remember the the book by Somerset Maugham entitled, "The Razor's Edge."
It helped me understand that I wasn't alone in feeling lost when I came back home. I will always be
a seeker, like yourself. Thank you for your kind words. Keep on keeping on brother.
@Jorge Hernandez-barquin good points my man. I thought the same thing but didn't care to articulate it. I mean, you have to generalize women somehow if you're going to talk about archetypical women, but it did somewhat come off as if the relationship of a child to its (stereotypical) parents was the sole reason for the phenomenon. which is definitely not the case. I can think of a whole lot of reasons that play into the manchild phenomenon.
I would say you took the father role being prematurely ripped from child hood. You became responsible for a household and steered it into calmer waters best you could. You are the antithesis of a man child.
You sound like a stellar person.
God bless.
Is this why I feel like being truly masculine is becoming a mother to oneself rather finding "her" in another woman
There's something to this. This idea needs to be explored some more
The blending of both masculine and feminine energy within oneself will be make them a complete man. This is how I’ve felt doing semen retention since February.
bingo
Carl Jung also spoke on the feminiatly of men in this regard, basically how men should stop rejecting those aspects of himself.
@@KraziChidi I appreciate the wordplay, semen retention 😆 also very true comment (the first part)
Living at home is not what's making you a "manchild". It's the fact that you're being totally dependant on someone whether mom or girlfriend("surrogate mom" lol) and not taking any responsibilities of your own or job, feeding yourself, your own laundry, basic life skills.
That's called a Man-Child.
We get it. You live with Mom
@@EnglandPresley This guy literally said living at home doesn't make you a man child. Then proceeds to explain what a man child is.
@@bbq878 which I think has nothing little to do living with the parent depending on the circumstance, a person can be a man child away from their parents home
@@bbq878 I don't think you understand his point or the underlying psychology, The point of the original poster is that being a man-child is not a simple matter of your physical living circumstance, it's a mental development / maturity issue and lack of differentiation from ones devouring mother complex. I know many guys that are married and don't live with their mom and they are total man-children, they play with toys, video-games, their wives make 80% of the household income the "men" are marginally responsible and live in a child-like fantasy world like Peter Pan. Their wives are constantly bitching about them not "stepping up to the plate" or "not pulling their weight" in the relationship without realizing that they have married a man-child and that their overbearing mother instinct is actually perpetuating the problem. I also know guys that live with their mom and take care of her because she's old but that man is responsible and mature, has his own money, and has established himself in society already.
This hit way too close to home...
Thanks for all your work.
And daddy wasn't there to protect it.
Likewise.
This is the perfect thing to watch if you are "Jung" at heart.
Ouch.... Punny as heck
@@cheeseburgerinparadise7124 I'm here all week :)
BOOOOOO you suck
@@PTSmash I’ll come back and check you out after playing the slots
Dad! Get off the internet! You're embarrassing me!
The reason someone wants to stay a child is because sometimes childhood was very painful and bitter and fears that adulthood is even more painful. And wants to enjoy the life you could not enjoy as a child that is why many people want to be a child. Also what this video says is true. It describes what happened to me.
Well.. for others, you keep reverting to childlike because every foray into adulthood sews you getting smacked back down. Hard. And for some reason, you were never able to acquire the strength or skills to remain standing.
At some point you lose the will to even try. You WANT to. You dream about it. But you stop being able to try, because you already know you'll fail.
This doesn't happen over a year or two btw, it's more like.. being a weak teenager AND THEN weak in your 20s. By the time you're 30, you're done.
“Held too lightly, love will fly...held too tightly, love will die”...Oscar Wilde. I raised my son and daughter as a single mom and based on this credo and they are both brilliant, empathetic and successful adults today. Family roles and dynamics change from generation to generation. It’s up to the main nurturing caregiver to be able to adapt accordingly and with the best interest of the children in mind and heart.
I don't have any kids, but I completely agree with your comment. I engage regularly with my neices and nephews, though. I always encourage their parents to balance on that tight-rope of security/safety vs. Exploration. I also try to practice this method of interaction. My sister's probably see me as a "back seat driver" sometimes when offering advice though which is understandable since I'm not a parent. Lol. I'm always fascinated to find out more from people like you. How, in your opinion, were you able to balance between giving nurture, while also providing authority?
Can you stop uploading videos creepily relevant to my real life? That'd be great.
So are you saying the truth hurts? That mean you know yourself is shit.
Dayz 3O6 nice English dude
@@Dayz3O6 woooosh/
Same bro I really needed this and the next one to come
The truth shall set you free
Excellent topic. Carl Jung stands as one of the wisest men ever lived for me.
sane8D
Aight chill out with that
He probably was.
@John Hillman Can you elaborate?
My father lost both his parents before turning 30, the age at which he met my mother, and I came to life shortly after. He was born and raised in a blue colar fashion, where friendship, respect, honesty, strengh (body and mind) and persistence were of key importance. He had troubles to be friendly, but always tried, had troubles to be social, but never stopped trying too, etc... Because he had many problems with that, one of the first thing he told me when I was young was "learn how to live with other people". He also had troubles expressing his love to me, though I always felt secure and happy with him. My mother, in the other hand, had experience with children (working in a summer camp for many years) and having a tender nature. Both raised me as best as they could, yet I felt "unaccomplished" as an adult, though I had all, or almost all (a job, being able to take care of myself and my home, being responsible of others, having friends and falling in love, etc). I fould answers in books of the Ancients, and the good surprise was that their advices resembled a lot to those my parents gave me.
Last summer, I came to visit an old girlfriend (from teenage years), and I think we developed mutual feelings to each other. For me, it was a voyage through manhood and feminity. I saw in her almost all aspects of the feminine : the girlfriend you laugh with, the child you take care of, the teen you learn to let go free, the adult with whom you think about a future together, the grand sister who teach you a lesson, the mother who wants to have children, maybe with you, the healer that cares about you, the magician that is in phase with her spirit and can see and feel the cosmos, etc... It was a voyage for me, because it reconnected me to my masculinity (after difficult years), and I also learnt things about myself, thanks to new situations I've never faced before. I had the impression of being, time to time, the friend, the boy, the man, the teacher, the lover, the healer too (but more on the psychology level), and some sort of parenting figure. When I came back home, many of my friends saw a huge evolution in my attitude. I was way more calm and kind, I had less fear and anger, and I felt way more open and relax to speak with people. I would say, in order to become an adult, you need good parents, but also good friends.
the way you described your relationship to that girl was really moving
Beautifully written. The description of the relationship with your anima made an image of a woman I love appear in my mind.
What a great life and a great victory you gave to youself brother. Your words inspired me to be a better father, and a better man.
I was raised by a single mother, and for a time struggled with feeling unaccomplished, but I went hard the other direction at some point and, though I certainly don’t feel content or finished or complete, I have accomplished a lot of goals and embody a lot of the masculine archetypes you mentioned.
yea same even I was less of a bitch when I was in love with this 1 dude
My dad died when I was 3. Life as a teenager was fucking tough because of that. I didn't know how to become a man or what becoming a man even meant to me. I'm 21 now, and while I'm a little later than most, I got my licence, my first car, and my first apartment this year. I'm proud to say I faced my fears and achieved independence.
Proud of you my man
@@hor8843 im also 21 with none of these things and i had my parents. im not even close to independence but these comments and videos are inspiring. good job brother!
@@TheRUclipsG.O.A.T me too. I have parents but seriously lacked support from and trust from them, especially my f4ther. He was physically there, but emotionally, and in terms of general guidance, completely absent. Just totally self absorbed...and out for himself.
I suffered from my own delusions, and directionless-ness; with no system to manage my mind and create emotional stability, and no understanding of life's meaning and how I should live. Now I actually have knowledge of these things, I'm pulling myself out of my delusions by using these systems, and being far more communicative with my parents, whilst accepting reality as it is. Rock-bottom is the place I build up from. I don't have a licence, a car, nor a sense of true independence. But every single thing in my life has been telling me, there is only one way left to go. UP.
Good job guys, hope ya'll are doing well now! (og comment too!!!)
Awesome! I’m 17 going on 18 this year (2024 whoohoo🎉), I’ve never had a constant father figure and the only model of what a man should be is my uncles and I haven’t seen them that much in my life (moms a nomad and moves around a lot). Im just now starting to read self-help books like atomic habits, a big thing I want to do is shift my identity to that of someone who’s independent, Knowledgeable and wise, and just a good man who has his life together and a good trajectory in life. Videos like this have opened my eyes, I’m hoping to get all of what you said by 20, my mom has over-babied me by not letting me get a job for the past 2 years, homeschooled me for Covid and then never sent me back to regular school, which was fine because I’ve always struggled in school and needed the chance to catch up, but the problem is that she has been ver lazy in my homeschooling and didn’t teach me. Im accepting that I’m almost grown now and need to take my own education into my hands as she hasn’t helped me at all despite being responsible for completely taking me out of the school system, problem is nobody’s instilled into me the importance of hard-work and now I can’t do the hard school stuff even without motivation (no discipline), hence me reading atomic habits now. I’m gonna turn my life around, if you read this, I hope life is good to you!
"everything we hear is opinion and everything we see is perspective "
~Markus Aurelius
@ooOmegAaa It's very relevant, the video gives a position which could easily be taken as more than perspective. It's not a scientific fact that men have to go through distinct stages. It's a tradition, a cultural segment which has driven men to be successful in certain ways, and not in others.
The video is interesting, but it's not gospel. Aurelius' quote is great here.
Yeah dont judge every situation as this being the answer to beta males to become alpha, but it is one of the secrets to humanity that many are afraid to talk about. It is fact that a weak father and a willful mother will produce weak and angry children. And all people have to overcome. Cause and effect. How can you say this is an opinion and only a perspective without offering any insight? Sounds like superficial knowledge without wisdom or understanding. I could be wrong, im curious to hear what you beta males have to say haha jk, but if you could please elaborate on what you mean or if youve meditated on this subject more since youve commented on this.
@Moe From The Northside thanks for this perspective
@J 5:39 Carl Jung (1875-1961) blessings.
Collective unconscious
Fact vs Opinion?
Is self a fact or an opinion?
Zeb Just because something isn’t a scientific fact doesn’t mean it’s not true. This is definitely a religious fact, a metaphorical fact, or a metaphysical fact. Science can’t tell you how to act in the world.
This channel is the main spot for me to experience great paintings, I don't look for them much anywhere else. And accompanied by narration which ups the effect.
For a channel that features great art try The Western Tradition. Most all illustrations are taken from the Metropolitan Museum of Art.
Here is Episode 1. There are 52 in all.
ruclips.net/video/Vej22BMa-NE/видео.html
You spoil us with your fantastic content!
If they are doing anything its Un - spoiling us .. xD
You spoiled me with laughter!
This is exactly why so many young men gravitate towards combat sports, and could help explain the rise in popularity and acceptance of it in the modern era. It’s become the new rights of passage in a way. Just saying
Combat sports is such a life changer! Makes you feel like all you have to do is work hard and you will reap benefits (and that you aren’t as weak as you thought you were).
"your dinner is getting cold, billy!!"
"Hold on mom, just gotta finish uploading this video on youtube!"
Hey buddy do you love the "responsibility"? Nowdays that shit goes beyond pulling your own weight. Enjoy drone life maybe thats why you lack creativity and independent thought. I build and repair for my own family not people i hate to stand just for money.
@@YEET-yh6qc you respinded to the wrong person?
@@YEET-yh6qc how can't you love the responsibility, granted its a long term commitment its pressure and takes all your time but its the ones you love. It makes me feel good. When I am not i feel guilty when i am it fills you with joy. not taking on the responsibility makes you feel like shit.
@@Dave-ps3ff i feel the otherwayaround its too much take from you and no return. I failed to see how that is rewarding like the discipline i believe those are for dogs and rewarding treats constantly. I get no treat even in the end i still wonder if its worth it. There's so much time i could have invested in small skill or long-term skill that the task alone is rewarding. I failed to see how putting yourself in bad condition for one degree that you will have to hang on in hope for the beginning which also isn't rewarding. Lie a little and you can get far.
ok billy, hurry sonic closes soon
As someone who is 30 & still lives with his mom, this video is something I needed to see to get me to realize I really have to get proactive & get myself set up in a new environment. Because I do still have a child's menatality & it's becoming more pathetic with each passing year.
Same bro. Let's grab life by the pussy. Nah but lets become all we can be an overcome everything we fear
Too bad they ditched the Draft. A stint in the military used to be a good fast-track to manhood and maturity, and really broadened one's experience of the world in general.
You got this Dan!
Dan P I recommend you the book "Narciss and Goldmund" by Hermann Hesse.
Just turned 26 this month and planning on moving out this year.
Abandoned by my mother at birth but my fathers mother got me back and raised me. My father was the figure you described. The way a father figure should be. And having that almost opposite mother complex, I am still taking my fathers lessons and discipline very seriously in my mid 20s. He passed three years ago on 6/3 and it's funny how his impact on me now verse then. Thanks for the reassurance my father was a good man.
so...can I join the club?
@@glowiever Sir
That's quite a story! I'm sorry if I'm getting too personal, but were you able to have good relationships with women? If so did your dad help?
@@chodeshadar18 Honestly it's still something I'm still working on to this day. I've had a four year relationship and one night stand, to everything in between so I mean I have a good relationship with women I'd say. But as weird as time gets I'm finding it harder and harder to believe in monogamy. And idk its weird. My dad helped me have confidence in myself when dealing/talking to women. Something a lot of guys lack. Just having the confidence and ability to keep a conversation with any, let's be honest person, period, is hard. And that's something my dad really helped me with. There is a lot more but texting over RUclips comments isn't the time or place. This video just struck a personal cord with how it described the idea father that most young need but lack. And just humbling. Thanks for letting me share with you brother. My real name is Kane.
You being skeptical of monogamy at this point it time might be very logical. You're Display pic is interesting "a generation of men raised by women."
I am seeing a lot of myself and my exes in this. I realized they're all man-children who all appear to have this mother complex, and I (a parentified child), became the substitute mother figure when we dated. Due to a lack of love and support from my own parents, I became a "devouring mother" for these partners.
Now, intentionally single and learning to love life, I am learning to be less heart-hungry and stop settling for scraps
In other cultures, staying close to your family is a pretty normal thing. We only see 'living with your parents' as an issue because society tells us that independence is everything. Consider tribal societies, especially nomadic ones, where the son never strays far from the father. Consider close-knit 'family clans' that include not only immediate families but relatives as well. There are many out there who 'live with their families' and it's not abnormal or strange.
As for me, I don't want a house. I want to make things. Quality things. The level of quality that people are willing to pay for. Developing my skills and talents is not 'childish'. The road to constant self-improvement is the very definition of manhood. Knowing what *you* want and going for it is also a part of being an adult, and knowing what you're willing to sacrifice in order to get it is just wisdom.
The real children are those who get all bent out of shape just because someone has different life goals than them. It's my life. I'm not gonna do what you want me to do. I'm going to do what *I* want to do. Get over it and grow up.
I was thinking exactly this.
In this culture it's referred to as weak. If a man make excuses to live "at home" past his own abilities to prove that he indeed can & will make it on his own, then he is deemed either unable or unwilling.
One can buy their own home close to Family..one can even visit as often as they wish.
..a man who isnt honest with himself cannot be honest with anyone because they buy into their own reasoning out of their own ego's self-preservation.
A self sufficient and productive member of society can hone their "skills" or practice their Art in the free time that they learn to manage. They just have to have the courage and the self discipline to so.
That's all well and good. You chose a purpose. Meanwhile, grown men celebrate the hugs and kisses of a heroin needle, or the encouragement and affirmation of a crack pipe.
There’s a Balance
Yup, most asian cultures stick close to their families. Its hard to break the cycle because the elders took care of the young and they expect the young to take care of them back.
How dare you speak ill of my mom... I'll let her know , she's down stairs...
🤣🤣
Just wait till my mum meets you.
Don’t you mean upstairs?
@@gtg9866 no no no he is one of those "upstairs" kids
I was one too.
@@gtg9866 😂😂 dommy mommy and her sissy boy.
I'm being attacked.
DieselWeasel91 And if you don’t learn... you’ll die.
From a few perspectives.
this is literally what I was going to comment
Now you know what to do to break your bonds.
By your mom
Jordan Peterson
This video hits so hard... I’m 24 now and almost everything he said in this video is true for me...
I’m looking into a mirror and I don’t like it
This is me 😶
How did you lose everything?
"You can't go home again.". Accurate.
True for me as a female but wasn't the case with my brother! 😂
I live alone since 17. I'm 18
@@felipedezan1924 I left home at 17, I am 37. Never been back. My brother, 35 left for 2 weeks got "homesick" and has been back at home since.
@@felipedezan1924 Moral of the story, never go back home.
@@brendatrimble4042 damn, I couldn't stand staying home. Wanted my independence right away.
For most of history, it was quite normal for a child to remain with their family past the age of 20. After all, you would have to work for a long time to afford your own family. During the boomer age, economies were growing fast, jobs were plentiful, houses were cheap, and individualism was on the rise. This was the origin of moving out at 18. Times today have changed. Jobs are not plentiful, education incurs debt, and houses are expensive. Sending kids out at 18 would be straight up immoral.
Maybe not at 18 but if your child is refusing to grow and become independent while in your care. You need to send him to the wolves and hope he will make it out.
中原マリ nice self justification sissyboy, go back to watching cartoons, loser.
But whos going to take care of my mama when she is old?
Fucked Gplus you could hold a pillow over her face...problem solved.
geezusispan I guess so is you making a profile that doesn't scream troll. Eh dumbass?
I've seen something similar also happen to some women . In a disfunctional family the mother can also prevent the daughter from attaining her freedom and try to keep her in a dependant state , the daughter gets stuck in a loop and struggles to achieve her destiny . Yep , I've had some odd girlfriends over the years which probably says much about me too . . .
Andy Nixon absolutely. I am going through this and it is hell.
@@happylindsay4475 I wish you the very best for the future my friend .
@@andynixon2820 Blessings Andy- and to you too. Much
Men suffer more for it. Women do not need to be anything besides a mother herself. Society does not care what a woman achieves. The proof is that you're willing to date these women.
@@BlowitAllUp I found your comment to be reductive and more of an ad hominem attack versus based in fact... To negate or diminish a woman's experience, one that you cannot possibly have intimate knowledge of is speaking to a woundedness that I wish you healing with.
Not any one gender has the " lock" on human suffering. Its impartially hard on all that are living and present to experience it.
Today with a 50% divorce rate and accompanying financial ruin, and emotional trauma, many men are choosing not marry. They remain in perpetual adolescence. Disastrous for society.
Not every man who refuses to marry is in perpetual adolescence. Many choose not to marry because they have seen the physical, emotional and spiritual toll that divorce has taken on their fathers, uncles, brothers, etc. With an estimated 60-80% of divorces now being filed by women, men are weighing the risk v. reward of getting married and sacrificing their very lives for a woman who may well send them packing and walk away with cash and prizes (child support, alimony) when a better model comes along. Instead, these men are bettering themselves, pursuing their careers, their hobbies, their life dreams, their fulfillment. They are truly independent (not codependent). They are financially better off, may be able to retire early, and really enjoy their later years. Is this bad for society? Probably, but until laws and social values change, this is what will continue to happen.
@@fouresterofthetrees287 exactly, I’m not a fan of this idea that getting married is a necessity to become an adult. The most wise and mature people I’ve met tend to be single
what are you talking about? adolescence is the best period in our lives!
@@fouresterofthetrees287 🤣🤣🤣here we go again...blaming women. Oh well, to each his own!
Trust me, when the choice is to be tethered to a perpetual liberal harpy trying to change your views to hers, marriage becomes less appealing.
One thing this video didn't address is the problem of the illusion of independence.
I know so many guys who have moved out of their parents home but still get financial assistance from their parents.
Is that really independence? I don't think so.
And I actually think it hurts them cause they're wasting all this money just to avoid a social stigma.
Maybe it isn't full independence but they are trying to separate themselves from the mother still. I'm sure they will eventually truly be separated if this trend continues.
@@AnthonyArmour damn I agree w both of you
I live with simblings in an flat while mother is with granpa 1.5h away. Is it dependence if we pay utillities on our own and each has a job? Is it dependence? Although south Europe has many generations living under same roof.
@@AnthonyArmour
I forgot I left this comment and only now discovered your reply upon revisiting this video.
Anyway I think saving your money by staying at home will get you to independence much quicker.
Staying at home also frees you up to focus completely on developing yourself and your skills.
My cousin stayed with his parents until he was 37, BUT never took a dime from them afterwards, not even for his wedding.
Independence with exceptions is NOT independence.
"We're generation of men raised by women. I'm wondering if another woman is what I really need." - Fight club
V Kubík can we stop blaming women for a change,that would be really great
@@s.a5332 I'm not blaming woman for anything. This is just a quote from one of my favourite books.
I see, but I think it’s a quote that’s been abused, it’s used as a cop-out to avoid personal responsibility
@@s.a5332 I think that it's actually advicing people to do the exact opposite. It's so because the answer for the wonder whether another woman is the person who is needed in such a situation, leads to the understanding that she is not. What is needed is the acceptence of one's responsibility for his life.
Having a woman in your life and being a responsible individual are not mutually exclusive so your explanation is flawed
Father and Mother play important role in our mental, physical, social, financial and career development.
First mother, then father.
Eri V what if you didnt really have them?
@Dawson Walker INTJ
You know they might be bud. Really, it varies depending on the eras and societal contexts. Fathers are still important though.
@Dawson Walker INTJ
Then stop virtue signaling over a single comment that claimed "fathers are more important". It's unbecoming.
There's a book called "Iron John" which deals with breaking the bonds of childhood with the mother, and escaping to the world of manhood with a hairy, crude creature from the forest named Iron John. This is symbolic as the darker side of a man's being, and must be embraced and understood in order to grow fully into adulthood, along with the separation of the childish safety net of mom's love. It's a good book for a young man to read and understand with their father.
Thank you for this! I will search for my little brother who is 15 years old.
@@Jespidi Good luck! 15 is still a good age if you can get through all the noise of modern day life. Young men have completely lost the rituals of separation that we're so important for tribal societies of the past. Somehow, cruder ways of living we're actually much more in touch with our needs as humans, despite the ease of our modern lifestyles today.
Oh my god. I just realised that the mandatory military service in my country serves as a rite of passage of sorts.
They wouldn’t let me do it and I think I’m suffering from it.
My dad, who used to be in the millitary, always told me recruits from the mandatory service came from all walks of life and grew together. Some very obviously needed a good uprooting to develop as proper citizens and individuals. If there was some biases in the first days, they all dissolved in the adversity of training.
Now all we have in France to replace it is a single day on a military base during high school where they teach you CPR...
Structure and discipline naturally would create capacity for maturity. Makes Sense!
@@MrBojangles901 haaaa. Gaaay
@@hypomotion Moralist.
I would argue that today’s version of this is partially brought on by low entry level pay, high housing costs, and overbearing parenting.
@@ShowerCurtain1 A $30,000 salary is well below minimum wage in most developed countries lol, what world are you living in?
@@ShowerCurtain1 chase is a child rok.....he DOES think it starts at 30 a year.
roktopus I agree that 30,000 per year is doable for a single person but those analysts fail to factor in two important aspects: debt to income ratio and taxation. Most people have debt (it’s virtually impossible to avoid it) and wages are taxed to death. So you could be making 30 but are really only bringing home 20 or less. Sprinkle in the rising costs of living and all of sudden you are struggling just to live. Now if you are bringing home 30, that’s a different story
@@francinesmith8109 I started at 55,000 lol. Maybe you should have gone to school?
@@ShowerCurtain1 I said developed countries. The US is a shit hole. Minimum wage in Canada is 15, Europe is higher when factoring for the conversion rate.
If you stay at home too long, you transition from being cared for into being the carer.
Wich I suppose it's only fair, right?
yup
@@xauxe hell no that's not fair. You should become a carer, but for your children, not your parents.
@@timangar9771 what if I don't want to have children?
@@timangar9771 if you're living with your parents well into your 20s you bet your ass you owe it to them to be their carer.
This is the biggest problem with the world now, it's that we live in a world where adults don't even exist anymore and that everybody is just a complete child
good point
People are just broke and working long hours to even care what's going on
Spot on.
Im staying home so i dont waste money on LA prices rent so i can buy a house to start my future family.
In many cultures people stay close to their family, it doesn’t always mean dependence.
Whatever you have to tell yourself 😉
yeah, usually south east asian do the same thing... especially with the pandemic, leaving your parents alone is a sign of ignorance
Our culture perpetuates this phenomena. It is what created it. We are meant to leave our families and explore the unknown. Our culture has made us soft.
That’s not what he’s talking about. He is talking about guys who are just living idle at home playing video games.
@David Edosomwan Are you Serious!?
Interesting, my mother passed away when I was 10 and since I had a sense of floundering with no direction because my father was emotionally turbulent and morally inconsistent.
stay strong bro
i have a similar experience. my mother died when i was 14, my father usually used me (eldest daughter) as both a free therapist and emotional punching bag of sorts?? i forgive him, i'm just not sure he realizes his actions. my heart is with yours
@T hddh i'm pretty open to others in general tbh. it's not like i go parading my traumas to the world, i do however speak up about them from time to time if i feel there is a lesson to share with another person. if they're just using you, they are the ones who are lost, not you.
Sorry
My mom still alive and extremely fit at 89
She hasn’t had any love for me
And sadistic narcissistic scapegoating mom
But she loved her golden child
Heartbreaking sorry
I will never experience a moms love
@@umchinagirard1800 my mom taught me that she'd starve to death to let me eat... Hope you have other things to enjoy.
In other words, we were supposed to learn how to rebel but do so in a way that it maximizes independence and minimizes (hopefully only) sentimental conflicts.
Tarik360 I don’t think rebel is the right word. More about creating a healthy model for masculinity. Independence sure, minimize conflict? Maybe. Standing in your truth and speaking to you boundaries doesn’t always result in less conflict
@@J.B.1982 Well said
These are all messages that don’t relate to our generations as well
@@J.B.1982 true
I lived with my parents til my early 30 had a great job most of my friends made funny jokes about it what I did with my money invested it real estate now I’m retired in my very early 40 now I look at my friends struggling day to day I thank my parents for the opportunity they gave me
That's great. The thing is that you did have a plan and you acted outside home, did your job, created and achieved, you took the lead by being responsible. So it's not like you stayed DEPENDING on your mums nurturing to stay dependent and vulnerable the whole life, avoiding life. You used your parents home as a leverage that allowed you to gather resources that you later use for providing for your parents, spouse and children, like a real man - provider. So well done for your parents - they did a great job 👌😊👍
That means you are a Pure Eternus while your friends are not. It's not the money but struggle in life. You maybe monetarily independent but emotionally still dependent on your parents.
@BlakehamsWimpey same in the USA.
That's the advantage of eastern culture. 😎
youre 200iq in the game ,keep going
Dad: "grow up and be on your own"
Mom: "i made you food"
Me: *stays forever*
Daughters and sons are the battlefield between Mom and Dad
@@Meson10 It happened to me once too... I think only because they missed me and somehow need me... it already has it's name... it's called "the boomerang generation"
I’m your 100th like. You’re welcome!
Dad pays the food.
😂🤣😂
*clicks on video*
"MOM I WANT PIZZA ROLLS"
*so today we will analyze the mind of the eternal child...people who do not grow up"
*whoa feel bad for those sorry guys*
LMBAO
Lol, great one xD
@Abhilash N nicki minaj "laugh my big ass off"
And then they read this comment
@Abhilash N Laughing My Black Ass Off!
Some mothers choose for their child to not have contact with a ready & willing father. They treat their child as property, placing her intensions above the child.
And they have destroyed a whole generation; then they get elected as leaders to congress to destroy a country!😂☠️🙈
Totally agree. Keep chasing the red pills and they turn into black pills. Wait... I’m white..... oh god...?! I think those are the colors of the nazi flag!?! 😅 😂 I’m kidding chill... :)
I get the impression this interpretation is deeply personal. Children change ppl dramatically. The best advice I was ever given was don’t judge your spouse during the 1st year of your newborn's life. There were times when I would have divorced my spouse without a second thought during the first yr of my first child's life in a heart beat. I had to remember the failures and convoluted reasoning of women who came before me. I need my man. He makes me better. I make him better. Men and women make each other better when they commit to each other's betterment. Love is real and transformative.
@@plznotnoworever1878 That’s very profound and states everything that wrong with feminism and the women’s empowerment movement. Men and woman compliment each other in a committed relationship and both can do things the other cannot do, forming a cooperative to make the unit stronger through mutual love and respect. Women cannot do everything a man can do nor can men do everything a woman can. Two distinct genders. Check your junk or your birth certificate if you get confused. Pretty simple really. 😉
@@plznotnoworever1878 what do you say to the state that gives every incentive and initiative to a vulnerable woman to act on those impulses? Families are the victim in this modern day culture war and people are standing idly by, only observing symptoms.
I’m 30 still live with family this hits hard. I’ve know I must venture out on my own, but something like fear kept me back from ever trying or going out. I just hide in video games and my phone and still do at this time. I’m shattered and it hurts my heart knowing this.
I hear ya
Change is always an option. Don't despise new knowledge. Life is a constant grow.
I'm in the same situation as you and I am 33, living at home. While it can feel mentally draining and socially awkward, the best thing you can do is use this opportunity to work towards your goals and increase your income. Save money while you can, considering investing in stocks or crypto. If fear is preventing you from going out and working a job, then apply for an online job like Lionbridge, they pay 13-16 an hour last i knew.
I had hit rock bottom around 28-29 years old. When I turned 30 i decided it was time to kick my life into gear or end up homeless, the parents won't live forever. As long as you are working towards improving yourself and your situation, keep your head up. Work on your financial situation, save for a reliable car and house.
Investing now while you're 30, if you hold for 5-8 years, you might just be able to retire by time you are 40. But either way, i'm basically just suggesting that since you are at home, you have a golden opportunity to create an income and save towards your goals. You'll feel better about yourself as well. Especially when everything that seems unattainable at the moment will eventually lead you to where you want to be. It won't happen overnight though.
Good for you man. I know this comment is months old but I hope you’ve taken action.
I got kicked out of my parents home when I was 23. I had a kid and soon to be wife. It was time.
I live in an expensive area in Southern California. I could barely afford rent and wanted to give my wife a traditional household.
The subsequent years have turned me from a coddled young man to a stoic household leader. I never knew it was inside of me until I had to adapt and survive.
I liken it to Navy SEAL training (hear me out). The purpose of SEAL training in small part is to show people they can push far more than ever imagined. This is like being a father and adult. You realize it’s inside of you and always has been.
The satisfaction and confidence that comes with this is immense and I wouldn’t trade my struggling for anything.
Take the leap, you can do it. Drop the games and embrace cold hard reality. It feels better and creates the man you were meant to be.
God bless.
This is afterall very theoretical and based on very sparse. Many of the reasons we stay at home is also sometimes economic. Looking at economic work such and Capital and Ideology drom thomas's picketty. Minimum wage freezes, mass insecure employment and rise cost of property relative to wages. Are just a few of the factors contributing as well.
Moral of the story: Move out the house and if you fail remember your mom will be there for you
Lol
"Sometimes old men die with little boy faces ..."
Now… that’s deep!
Helicopter parenting has created an entire generation that's prone to extended adolescence.
You spelled “Back to back Economic Recessions” wrong.
👏👏👏 💯Surely
@@isidoreaerys8745 poor macroeconomic conditions certainly don't help, but countless societies in the past have lived under much harsher conditions of poverty, yet the world-wide phenomenon of manchildren is a very modern and growing problem. Economic recessions are not at the heart of the issue.
@@thenew4559 yes but never did those harsh conditions of poverty coincide with the extreme overpopulation and the modern ubiquity of private property.
In the past you could set off on your own. You could homestead. Or live off the land. These days there’s no space besides mom and dad’s house if you don’t have money. Because if you sleep outside you will wind up in jail.
Eh...a really good economy with no real existential threat does reduce "life changing" confrontations. There isn't a proper calibrating event which brings perspective.
I was 21 when I left home: left a loving, warm, middle class family home with garage, garden and every creature comfort imaginable ... which was also crushing me.
A small dose of hardship and risk make the man, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Those first few hard years of life away from a comfortable home prepared me and toughened me up for what life would throw at me - I am now 55, work hard and live on a very low income and life is sometimes tough but I am able to suck it up and spit it out - those early years were invaluable training.
I hope to do this I’m 19 I’ve lived the most comfortable life I can but now it’s preventing me from making something from myself I need to move out I’ve gotten into a prestigious college out of state I hope I can go there soon and find independence
@@georgewashington9445 LOL from a comfortable life to a prestigious college. We are barely a fading shadow of the generations that came before us. Have you tried going without wifi or a smart phone for an hour yet?
@@grimeyhonkyracing3938 going to a prestigious college can be just as difficult as living without wifi in the rural farms. It’s hyper competitive and you have to learn to discipline yourself.
Apparently living without wifi is real toughness while studying 30 hours a week for an Engineering exam is snowflake behavior.
@@danielyeager6666 👍 Duly noted, you may go back to your cry closet now
What doesn't kill you...makes you stranger.
They still live at home till their late 20’s and 30’s??? Obviously he hasn’t been to Italy .. a nation in which sons and daughter stay at home till their 40’s or forever
Really??
Peace Kush sadly yes !
Noooooo....srsly!!!
wait .. you mean they inherit their parents homes ???
or they refuse to get married and go their way ?
@@someone-wi4xl going their own way means not getting married
What are you trying to tell me RUclips.
Et tu Brute?
@@ikumuertehelminosizunamide9789 huh?
Think Before You React
It’s a quote from the Death of Julius Caesar.
Latin for “you also, Brute?”
To grow up and be a man?
@@ikumuertehelminosizunamide9789 It's 'Brutus' in English, putz.
Living with your parents until late 20's is a financially wise choice for many people in today's economy.
Things are changing, the economic situation is not the same in times of Jung, but still a child must learn to grow up and face the real world but with guidance
@@roiferreach100 Honestly, in a few cases it's much more of a sound argument to stay at home if you save that money towards a future investment. It can be the more adult decision in that case.
It depends, ive seen that if you live with a si gle mother (including myself) you need to get out. The manipulation will happen its just identifying it
Why? You only need a 60,000$ down payment to buy the averaged price home in America now. I mean, who doesn't have that on hand.
@@dbcooper5008 lol, not just that but you need an insane c=edit score to get an fha loan
By the time I was 15/16 I had already separated myself from my mom. She seemed more dependent than I did, and it only drove me away. My dad and I have always had a decent relationship, but I realize now that he never taught me to bounce back from adversity. He never taught me how to rise above. My parents are very angry people, my dad in particular. They even are spiteful of god for their shortcomings, including only being able to have one child. I realize now this is why I have a tendency to fall back on my bad habits and feel defeated without trying at all. I haven’t lived with them in 2 years, and I try to take as much responsibility for my actions as possible, maybe I’m taking too much.
The son husband complex will be very bad for u since u the only child and a son
it's not that it's more prevalent on males
just less acceptable and thus more noticeable
@Shreyas Misra I do think there are similiar key developments in women during adolescense. there were also rites of passage for women, by the way, albeit different. the erosion of the "grand entrance" or introduction into adulthood is interesting for sure. though you will still find such rites in the modern world, just more rarely. think for example of Koreans having drinking rituals for job promotions, or all-male fraternities and their weird rites of initiation.
@Shreyas Misra Its neither required for either. But as we have seen the man-child is greatly setback. Alike the Woman who wishes to stay a little girl forever will be greatly setback. In both cases it is dangerous in their own ways, to the individual and to the society greater.
Indeed, we all know the oedopeus complex. Jung himself made the Alexa complex for the girls, but being a masculine society we focus study and energy focusing on the men therefore becoming more apparent. But it is easy to see the young women to still see themselves as little girls and have an affinity towards feeling small and young. Complexes like these play out in porn with the Teen category for example, or the milf category for example. In fact most porn can be anal-yzed as a complex.
@@charlieellison5677 Interesting
Very true because a notice a lot of women that act like children and are emotionally chaotic/neurotic. But society attributes that as being feminine and of course the patriarchy. Lol but when men don't amount to the masculin archetype your perceived as a loser.
No body ever grows up,it's maturity that differentiates an "adult" and comes from self realization,study and experience
👍
Mr. Human that is called growing up. You are redundant. Self realization is an experience. I guess you did not understand the video. It describes the psychology of a mature person. Further experience is just that further experience. The essential growing up does not need further growing up. You could say there is growth in other experiences in life, but essentially a mature person is grown. Mr Human your kind of thinking will keep a person in the hairy vagina.
@@andrewfrancisco2327 self realization is the growth of ones needs,it is a stage in maslows hiearchy of needs,but I don't think you are grasping what I said,I thought the video was about a man child not about a mature person
@@MrHumanforlife No I grasped everything you said and came to my conclusion. I have no further interest in debating this issue because I am satisfied with my conclusion. Take care and good bye.😀
@@andrewfrancisco2327
what he said is perfectly relevant. Growing up is just a process to Maturity. Everyone is involved in that process throughout their Life but not everyone gets close to their full Maturity potential and that's what differentiates an Adult from a Child with most people just being stuck somewhere in the middle of it i.e., the quintessential Man-Child or as Immature Adults as I see it in the World today.
Excellent. For all who watched this, to go deeper, pick up a book called “King, Warrior, Magician, Lover: Rediscovering the Archetypes of the Mature Masculine.” It delves deeper into the content the team here has wonderfully laid out in video form.
Yes, that is a very good book.
Do you need to know anything from Jungian psychology before reading this?
Make you deal I'll read that one if you read Wild at Heart.
@@lipcioful no, it's mostly in layman's terms. Out of this one particular book, they are 4 other separate books dealing with each archetypes in depth.
It's a road map from being boyish immaturity to male maturity.
@@sean3533 DEAL. I just ordered the hardcover version. Thanks for the suggestion.
I'll come back to this after I watch the first season of He Man and The Masters of The Universe again .
You have the power.
Don't leave your parents house with out money or a plan. Make sure to have a savings and skill or you will be homeless.
Spot on! And to add, people that would do so are the ones that blame everyone but themselves for their failures.
Homelessness was the best thing to happen to me. Matter fact, I don't want to associate with people that have never hit rock bottom. They haven't a metric, they haven't a dog in the fight.
If u wait for safety of financial, u will never leave !
@DT man you tripping
@DT u dumb
Reported
Reason: "I'm in this video and I don't like it."
I shared this with my 25 yr old son. Women and Men raising boys should be lectured on this subject. I dated men with man-child complex and I kid you not, I felt like a mother to them. My ex husband at the time of our marriage wasn't just useless as a father and as a husband but also as an individual. His attachment to his mother surpassed anything I thought I've seen until I met 16 years later the man I believed I wanted to marry. This last one has the " Oedipus Syndrome" it was a true nightmare. His mother was "in-love" with her own son to the point of dating a man 18 years younger which had all the physical traits of her son. It was truly sick and twisted. And I see it day by day in everyday living. Men afraid of growing up, always seeking in another woman a safety net because they are terrified of facing the world on their own. And women are no didferent; those who grew up overprotected, never learned to face challenges, turned submissives and never learned to think for themselves, therefore seeking much older men with their unsolved "daddy issues". Sadly nothing has changed much and we keep raising men-children.
It's done deliberately.
We don't have a overly submissive women issue currently..we have cocky, loud..too dominant masculine women in the current generation and soyboy feminine men who unknowingly encourages such behaviours of women.
Why do YOU find these particular men attractive in the first place? That's what you should analyze first.
@@sj-237 bcz it's too easy to control them..they are too docile ryt
Now do the intermeshed Mothers/daughter relationships…the narcissist Mothers who demean their daughters to the point where the daughter thinks she can do nothing w/o her parents around to oversee while she simultaneously complains about it.
Going into the Air Force was the best decision I ever made. Became independent at a young age and never looked back.
Hope they don't make you get a flu shot every year!
so basically to avoid your child from growing up into a chris chan, your dad must be emotionally present and generally a good dad, who gives the child skills that help him/her like paying taxes and getting a job and finding a place, alright there we go
Ooof In light of the recent developments with Chris Chan and his mom…. This is particularly disturbing
Sometimes your father can be right at home & neglect you. Been living with my family & despite my father being genius academically with an engineering degree he never taught me anything of use.
Not once he taught me even basics of driving a car despite I told him to.
You don't need skills to pay taxes. You need the skills to be independent like cooking, cleaning, being responsible with your time, learning respect. The fact people don't know what skills they need is the reason they don't know where to start growing up
And stop the porn/fapping,video games ,weed/drugs,drinking and anime
This punched me so hard. Thank you
The most terrifying experience for me was the lacks guidance. My dad was busy so mom took the most part of my education. She was a teacher so naturally I was so good in school. When you were surrounded by praise and occasional disciplination, you just follow instruction. And school didn't help much better as they were there to teach the kids to shut up and listen. Now the kids that were considered rebellious and troublesome succeeded in life while me, who mother ran out of instruction truggle to find my path. I left behind my childhood dream to follow the logical path chosen by my mom and her family. Now I don't even dare to dream and the logical path still doesn't make sense. Now I can't do anything that feels right to me because everything needs a logical explanation, which is not possible most of the time
Yep Good videos. watch these..
ruclips.net/video/bUthWYvsRws/видео.html
ruclips.net/video/qb05ythzgt8/видео.html
ruclips.net/video/8DTTo_TWzD8/видео.html
@@healthinfo1314 I hate to say this but there is nothing new in what that man is preaching, it's just common sense. And being told what to do my whole life teaches me to realize when a man is preaching without substance very quickly. Just because I'm struggling against one indoctrination doesn't mean I will follow another one that doesn't have a good explanation
Everyone at home living with parents playing games.... Being a family scapegoat raised By a narcissist parent mom very enmeshing and paralysing....
You should check out the channel theremintrees. He has a lot of info on dealing with abusers and narcissists.
It’s very difficult for people to except that their mother has used them for their own psychological disease
I was the family scapegoat too. It’s incapacitating typically.
sure, but you can only blame others so long. get out on your own and to the damned thing or you will keep being nothing. mama's boys truly are pathetic and garner zero respect.
@@w4nd3rlust19 that ones' better than raisedbynarcissists
I remember having to separate mindfully from my parents. They would continue to try and support me but I rejected it so I could make my own way. I needed the consequences of my mistakes to drive me to become better. Where there is an abdication of responsibility there is opportunity.
Strange how you rarely hear the term "woman-child".
The female variant is known as Puella Aeternus.
Its because its mainly a male psychological mind set, male and females have a different psychological make-up so you will have certain mind sets and mental conditions that will mostly be in either male or female. I would guess that the female version though to be a "daddy's girl", the ever young female who relies heavily on her fathers credit card, reassurances and promises of always being protected and looked after.
@brom head12 I wouldn't say they "avoid" it, technically women don't have to grow up, they go from being provided for as kids to being provided for via marriage partner. Which is why some act childish and entitled. Though having kids forces women to grow up, as now someone is literally depending on them for survival.
Men many times more, in order to be successful in life, have to learn how to be independent, self sustaining, then capable of supporting others, if they wish to get married. As most women don't go for the Peter Pan, living in his parent's home playing videogames all day. And therefore, there's a need for the man to go off and "become his own man", to leave the safety and comfort of home, face the dangers of the world or the struggles of working and making his own living, to become a better and more capable person. Both are needed, mothers for the safety and comfort of home to return to when life gets too hard, and the father to encourage the kids to keep going, instill some grit, and learn how to get things done on your own, etc. When fathers are absent or when they're told (directly or indirectly via media, blaming of men for everything, etc), then they may disengage and you don't get that interactivity. And in general since men are the one's expected to work full time to provide for the family, they naturally can't be as involved with family. In my estimation, too much motherly influence is more likely to produce kids who are scared of the world, scared of criticism or of red ink on papers, scared of sauce on college cafeteria food, need safe spaces cause they're afraid of dangerous ideas rather than having an openness to learn and discuss them, want the government to just take care of them, may not take responsibility for their actions, etc. Some of this is tongue in cheek, but reflects how some people are trying to de-masculinize society/kids via education/media. Preferring emotional arguments over facts. Both masculinity and feminity is important, but too much of one over the other makes it harder to produce a balanced person. We need empathy, but also a drive to push forward and struggle to achieve our dreams, as they won't just be handed to us. We need to learn to be directly what we're thinking, and not just beat around the bush. Etc etc
@Jonathan S Templeton pt2 to be fair tho, most men prob are attracted more to girls who are happy and carefree, rather than women who become more like men and are grumpy or stoic or heavily affected by the cares / weight of the world. I think mostly men want women who can be happy, but also be responsible, grateful, not entitled, and largely loyal if men plan to commit/marry them
I think it's still a thing. I came to the comments section looking for some info on the female version of this. Obviously a woman is going to have a different necessity for a rite of passage than a man, but there still has to be some kind of individuation and independence from her parents.
May as well share my story about this. I was abused as a child and kept it secret from my parents. When I was 20, I went to the city and landed jobs, highly skilled. But had no idea why I was miserable. I had made mistakes and the men in my life shamed me so drastically, that I moved away to live with my sibling, but basically gave up. I wish they never let me. Eventually, I ended up back at my parents property. I got a job, held it for years and have provided for my own meals every day and earn my keep. I've focused on my healing since then, but it's a middle ground of survival and comfort. While I make my own meals, I don't have the motivation to get my driver's license and currently rely on my parents for rides on the rare occasion I leave the house, because the city spoiled me. I feel so miserable about that fact. I miss that short 2 years of independence, I felt so liberated but naive... and the pain and damage (physical and mentally) that came with living like that was too much. And I sympathize with many here who truly never grew up. It's worse when you try and get burnt so terribly you never want to go back out. Still, preaching to myself: Just do it, force yourself out there. I'm trying to muster up trust to trust anyone again. But I've been burnt so many times. My parents are reminders that there are indeed selfless people out there, but sometimes I wonder if that's just because I'm their kid. I still have yet not to be screwed over for my authenticity. Anyway, thanks for this video.
Have you told your parents about your abuse? That seems like step 1 imo
Shit my dad left me when my mom died when I was 8. Seen him sparsely since but drugged out on hard shit or drunk..20 now living with my grandma saving money to move out and go to school again..this is what I needed to hear man fr.
Fk the cops
good luck to you!
Good luck on your journey. Trust me, you choose your friends but not your family. Go win in life and don't look back
I think if you're going to explain my exact childhood to me, you're going to need to get my mom to sign a consent form.
Ha turn it into a lullaby too 🥳
Strange how the word "divorce" never comes up, seeing how prevalent it's become in the West
Exactly kinda hard for old dad to be there when hes drinking himself to death and is destroyed by mom
Even worse is when capable fathers are denied access to their own children after a divorce, thanks to the justice system being biased against fathers.
Yeah, i was thinking the same thing. After my mom divorced my step dad, she left the house. Leaving me with a man i’m not even related to. I ended up moving out as soon as i was 18. I’m not even close to my parents.
eggo Bingo! It's just as much the woman's fault, they are treacherous creatures indeed.
@@rickyb6086 hahaha im a woman and I agree
I recently stumbled upon this channel, watched one video, and immediately subscribed. I have been a student of psychology, philosophy, mythology, science, literature, music and visual arts most of my life. I cannot adequately express how valuable this channel has been to me nor how much I appreciate it. You people are doing some truly great work. I have read the works of many of the thinkers you cover, and you brilliantly and rather succinctly summarize their ideas. One of the things I most appreciate about this time in which everything Orwell and Huxley feared seems to be coming to pass is that at least mental health has become a subject that is finally being discussed openly with much less stigma. The autocratic, dictatorial, authoritarian political regimes around the world seem to be if not entirely crumbling then at least facing dissent. I read these governmental structures as macrocosms of the tyrannical microcosms of far too many people's primary familial narratives. This too shall pass, thank God. Again, thank you. Keep up the great work! : )
"Got everything in my mama's name, but that's alright, cause I'm still fly" -Big Tymers
🤭
Burn!!!🤣🤣🤣🤣
But the difference is that he’s talking about making the bread, not mooching off mom and he’s just putting it in his mom’s name for legal reasons
My husband and I left the comforts of Canada to live in Cape Town in S.A.. This was to give our baby boy a chance at becoming a good man (sexual orientation isn't important to us). By showing him what struggle really is and living in a society where fathers still exist in the family unit, he will hopefully become a contributing member to any society.
“Passive wonders in life with no path or purpose save the pursuit of momentary pleasure to ease their suffering”
This is truly unsettling. I'm nearly 40 and my parents were wonderful. But so much of this applies to me in a way I never really saw until now that it's scary.
RUclips: I Know you ! man-child!
Me : WTF this is getting too personal now!
Heman RUclips: take the hint
Reminds me of the film AI. The child robot, always to remain a child and in constant need to be nurtured by a mother. Was a sad film.
Jay Man greatest movie ever made.
`` `` you weren’t paying attention if you think that.
living with your parents does not necessarily mean being dependent on your parents.
in fact in some cases it's reverse or mutual. ie: helping your parents. I know many people that have a family and a job and live in the same house as their parents, not because they can't support themselves.
I am sure you got the point of the video though 👍
@@soonenteradi5784 I'm sure you understand how important it is to take care of your parents especially during pandemics!
Van Ng And that is precisely why Asians usually have the tightest families and communities and don't need to venture outside of it much for their necessities. The exact opposite is true for the European model (esp in the USA) and the cultures that follow behind them. It's every man for himself and family is something outside of oneself.
@@southernarawak5699 to be fair, the USA is composed of many European heritages.
Iiving wit ur parent will cripple u sorry to break it to u guys tht just part of being an adult by staying wit ur parent u hinder urself and ur growth. Second wat the point of working if u staying wit ur parent
probably the only RUclips Channel where any human can learn something of true value.
Many females are also choosing to stay adult aged children. This is a societal issue on a larger scale.
by feminism for example. they whine all about privileges and giving them more each day. just like a tiny whiny daughter asking her dad (the unexisting "patriatchy") to give her what she wants as soon as she asks for it.
I agree completely. Im 19 and already scared of that woman child stereotype
Yes. It’s outdated to divide people into male and female. It’s people that are immature. There’s many woman who are mother dependant if not more
@@connorbalisky1827 - It's not outdated. It's the same cycle repeating itself since the beginning of time.
Evolution is false. We keep making the same mistakes as our earliest ancestors did.
All you have to do is observe how animal families work to see that a lot of what Jung said works with them as well.
Mothers encourage their babies to leave the nest. She gently teaches them until adolescence & gradually distances herself.
If some adolescents are too clingy & refuse to leave, many will often kill them as they do with defective babies.
It's the parents' job to raise their kids properly & many have neglected their proper roles or abandoned their kids altogether for pleasure-seeking. And now we have 3 generations of wo/man children that are almost completely lacking in common sense & critical thinking.
Destroy the family, destroy the culture.
The key to that is destroying the man's role as the gateway to society.
That's how invaders & totalitarians work within society to bring it down - via communist style subversion, which the left has been doing for decades.
Instead of raising their kids with them nearby, fathers have been absent since the industrial revolution & the children are ripe pickings for a totalitarian state to indoctrinate them to favor the govt over family.
"Daddy's absent & mommy can't take care of you? Why you can just mooch off the state (other tax payers) for the rest of your life - which is how leftists get citizens to keep voting for them. Despite all the social programs & promises, people are even poorer than they started while the leftist politicians have grown in wealth from their many "charity" scams.
anna kleopatra good for you if your comment is real. Here’s what to do:
Balance.
If you had a real and steady awesome guy and some stranger tried to hurt you should he try to protect you with the man violence and upper body power and his 17X higher testosterone?
Or should he hide and maybe call the police and you can wait 8 or so minutes for protection to possibly show up?
If you say yes... he should protect you... fine. Good. Traditionally reasonable for most men.
What is your female balance equivalent?
What’s a special female skill or power zone you could give?
Cooking?
Cleaning?
Tending to?
Total Loving & Sexy Blow Job of deep respect, care & service?
Showing a high level of power loyalty?
These things could cost you inner change, you might also like doing it but feel confused due to programming... almost all my American gf’s bragged about not being able to cook or their non need to be “caring”.
Here’s what I thought:
1- shes weird to be happy to not have a needed life skill
2- it’s okay I know how to cook for me and for her
3- she must eat like shit at home
4- she can’t cook me home made healthy soup if I got sick
5- I should not care if she can cook and I should be independent like a women wants to be independent... I don’t need a woman for anything... but I know how to cook. I’m more woman than she is... weird.
6- this is stupid it doesn’t matter but I feel weird I am a great cook and she burns toast... can she sow? Could she mend a clothing item for me and give me love like that? It doesn’t matter
7- she’s going to look old quickly and get a bad body because I can’t cook every meal for her and she’s gotta eat like shit
8- I now don’t see her as wifey or mother vibes but I do see her as a teenage 13 year old who complains for dinner
9- wow my mom knows how to cook and do motherly and womanly things and I really admire that
10- she can’t feed our kid later... I bet she won’t want to breast feed either...
11- she’ll say she will want to breast feed and then “won’t/can’t” some reasons and fabrications
12- the kid will be under nurtured and she’ll think it’s cool and modern
13- she may be like a wire monkey when it comes down to it or she may not be totally cold ?
14- I could teach her to cook but she may not want to be told anything or told what to do hyper sensitive...
15- mind shuts down... I’m a great cook and I can protect both of us... I’m better because I can do most all the skills of both genders traditionally... what’s the point of all this? Will she be a friend with benefits since the wife energy isn’t really their?
16- will she be faithful oh wait that’s kind of more traditional energy... maybe it will be cool to show she’s tuff by cheating and not needing a man (aka safe family building with truest partner)...
17- oh look, she’s laughing after I asked her to make us toast... she burned it again and is signaling her disdain for crafting delicious food for us... I never burn shit when I make us food so she will be impressed and like it, me, and or be happy eating it... I’m such a bitch for being good at cooking...
18- she likes flowers but probably won’t be good at gardening either so we’ll or I’ll just pay for gardener or I do it myself... while she “watches and laughs ironically drinking wine or margaritas”...
19- it’s getting hard to see logical reasons to pair bond even though I “feel” I want to long term pair bond...
20- no fault divorce means I can do mega well financially, she has one kid while a pay for it all working super hard to make us all safe and happy... she can cheat on me and not even hide it and if I blow up and scream at her like what the fuck it’s spousal abuse but she can fuck in our bed and I’m bad if I beat her him or the camera man up (jokes)... I’m supposed to not react and be peaceful.
21- I now have to pay her money for potentially 20 years while she ignores me except for making high cash demands from time to time... so I pay n get nothing...while she has new boyfriends...
22- maybe l get lucky and none of that will even happen at all
23- maybe it will all happen
24- maybe some of it will happen... and it will always be my fault just because... I’m a man.
This toast tastes really burnt. Let’s go out and buy burritos... sure babeZ, again. No it’s cool... I’ll cook again. Then she says... your not really like a real guy....................................
!So I dump her!
See?
I’m not like a guy (lol).
I dumped you and now you stalk me, crying, apologizing... saying you’ll be better and you’ve learned... bitch can you cook?
See, You didn’t learn shit.
(Humor).
Point is. Bring pussy n good looks to the table gets dates n sex... but if you don’t bring real relationship skills, cool things, real hobbies, if you can’t self entertain... wtf is the point. Your a liability in today’s legal / economic world.
I run a whole house hold on my own. I got the chick skills down. I got the guy skills down. Why craft a family unless I’m 1,000,000% into it this shit looks dangerous n with massive failure rate due to “bored chick syndrome” & “I don’t care about family female preferences of independent but still wants a wedding experience”... aka to divorce is preceded by the wedding.
Think about it miss Greek girl who lived in Egypt for a long time n rules shit (kleopatra)
If you don’t desire to be a wife, do wifey things, and grow old together... and build the relationship, my life, your life... what’s the point?
Isn’t it hot when your guy runs from a spider in the corner of the room? N you have to kill it cus he won’t, it’s icky...😂.
That’s how we feel about you when you don’t cook, clean or do chick skills stuff around or for us... we don’t say it... we feel it... we visualize the lack of it but then the fear of legal bs if we’re with you long term... it’s subconscious... I can communicate it, most can’t.
I’m a Chad. If your not a trad Stacy why would I or how could I be brought into marriage or so forth?
My relationship standards are very high. I can keep my promises. I trust me. I know how to suffer with out breaking. I can dance. I can sex. I can let go... I can lead now... finally... got that skill after world tells me no, it’s wrong...
So what do you bring that I can’t live without? Or that I would find deeply soul satisfying over time? Why risk my life to guard you if need be? Why buy a insurance policy and make you the sol Benefactor? Lol, maybe ide kill me too for a million?-) payout.
I think Kleo that steady love will be very rare in the future. Like a chosen skill n select hobby type thing. The organic flow is not going to just happen any longer for modern people.
It must be crafted.
Learn to cook.
Learn to nurture.
Want to have grand kids.
Respect steady culture and traditions. Don’t have ho’s for friends female.
Don’t have men around who lack discipline or who complain allot or who have low ambition n bad follow thru.
Bad boys over time need discipline n if they are moody n lack it... they are garbage to your long term safety n happiness, don’t fuck them.
Good guys without flair n passion will be boring n drive you sorta nuts but can be tolerated if your very very spiritual other wise you’ll dislike them...
The love of your life will be a bad boy who’s disciplined... crafty and unorthodox... he’ll be both exciting n boring. That’s the real. That’s the rub. Balance... but who will you be? A ho... a annoyed n bored chick... the unskilled n demanding? The disloyal n sexually cold or finicky? The unadventurous chick... the toast burner?
Let it sink in. You need to be valuable for it to be viable.
We don’t care about degrees or your money.
We care about beauty, affection, loyalty, smiles n playfulness, caring n nurturing... fun too is very nice but not paramount, we like to feel needed n appreciated...
we’ll kill n or die for those things... so if that is too much to pay then it’s clear being a wife’s wife is not for you... n you will not need a mans man either.
It’s all a investment n a payout. But must be done because it’s your inner calling.
I wish I watched this at 18
I'm a 30 year old man baby.
Rudy Jimenez You’re mad huh?
@@DoggoWillink Why don't you find a place where the sun don't shine and go there NOW, Sunny 👦👀b0y!!
Grow up.
Not my fetish. But ok.
😂😂😂
I grew up w a passive-aggressive mother, whose comforts I’ve always rejected, yet her treatment gave me very thick skin. My father is a noble man and pure at heart. He didn’t engage much in teachings of manhood, but set some good examples. For me, this resulted in a self-provoked journey into chaos, where life rendered the best teachings. Both my brother and I learned about the role of man through similar experiences. Today we are in a special position, where we are reconciling some gaps in the parental relationship and helping each other mutually.